Original subtitles

- There's joy

Hello, hello, swallows

There's joy In the sky

Over the roofs There's joy

And sun in the little streets There's joy, everywhere there's joy

All day long my heart beats, capsizes and staggers

It's love That comes with whatever

It's love, hello hello ladies, there's joy

Everywhere there is joy

The baker kneads the dough with both arms

He makes good bread so fine that I am hungry

We see the mailman flying over there

Like a blue angel Bringing his letters to God

Miracle without a name

At station Javel

We see the subway Coming out of its tunnel

Drunk with sun, songs,

And flowers...

It runs toward the woods It runs at full steam

There's joy, the Eiffel tower goes for a walk

Like a mad woman she jumps over the Seine, then she says

"Too bad for me if I get sick"

I was bored all alone In my corner"

There's joy...

the taxman put on his vest

Closes shop and says in a very very kind way

Hello, for today the collect is over, keep it all gentlemen.

But suddenly I wake up

In my bed, So, I was dreaming

for sure as the sky is gray

I must get up, wash up

Get dressed And not sing

If you have nothing to say But I still believe

That this dream is good As it let me make a song.

Song of Spring Song of love

Song for 20 years old Song for always

There is joy...

The Suicide Shop

- What happened to you?

You wanted to commit suicide? Right? Well yes, of course.

- Don't you know it's forbidden?

- What? It's forbidden to commit suicide?

Yes, on the public roads. Everybody knows that.

- I did not know. Sorry.

- Luckily the cop didn't see it. You would have been fined.

And it's not a small fine. I can tell you.

- What do I care if I'm dead.

- What are you thinking? They would have gone after your family.

- They couldn't. I have no family left.

And if you miss? What do you get?

A fine and a wheelchair. You get the picture?

- What do you propose then?

- Shh...

Follow me.

Stop!

With the crisis, which bugs you

- With the crisis which bugs you

- What is sweeter than an exquisite death

- An exquisite death

Be lucid and daring

Be lucid and daring

Let's say it

- Long life to suicide!

- Enter, enter Do not be afraid

We are open until 20 pm

Everything is fast

Nothing is misleading

To help you die is our happiness.

- Although it costs you The first step

Remember that We are here

- To help you

Without fuss

To go from life to death

From life to death

With the crisis, which bugs you

With the crisis, which bugs you

- What is sweeter than An exquisite death

An exquisite death Be lucid

Daring Be lucid

and daring

Let's say it

Long life to suicide!

- Welcome to paradise

End of worries As I am saying

- Everything is allowed

Nothing forbidden

- Except that we don't give credit

To depart There's a thousand ways

- A fatal choice 300 poisons

Not to mention the hanging-

It's her passion

- Just to think about it gives me a thrill

The great thrill

With the crisis-

which bugs you

With the crisis which bugs you

- What is sweeter Than an exquisite death

An exquisite death

Be lucid and daring

Be lucid and daring

Let's say it

Long life to suicide!

We offer quality products.

We guarantee death.

Our motto is to reassure

Either deceased or reimbursed

- We are useful to the whole city - They're useful

To the whole city - Whatever your profile

Our profile

Forget it all. Die in peace.

Die in peace.

Goodbye, life So be it

Oh, it looks good...

- Hello.

- Enter. Welcome.

- We will help you.

Right here

In this store you will find what you need to kill yourself

It's for this gentleman.

I know. Mishima!

- What can I do for your pleasure?

- Ben...

- We have the hemp rope. Squeak, hanging.

Effective. We can provide the stool.

Otherwise,

We also have it synthetic

The poison, a variety of vials.

Many different speeds. This one, expensive, but crushes you

in 3 seconds. You are gone!

Gas

granules, 1 bullet revolvers. The second is useless.

Sleeping pills, toadstools,

Or razor blades.

Bath, open veins... Unstoppably photogenic.

My son sharpens them

one by one.

Oh yeah.

- So?

What do you say?

In fact...

As blades we also have low prices

Rusty ones.

If you don't cut deep enough tetanus is guaranteed

Ah yes, it is tempting.

In fact, I hesitate between the gas and the poison.

- Yes...

- I'll take a poison.

Take this. It's on sale. Lightning quick. Guaranteed result.

It sells really well. It's trendy.

- I'll take that, then.

- Lucrèce...

Do I gift wrap it?

- No. It's for me.

- It would be more joyful.

That's it.

58 euros. Ah yes, still...

You can give death to yourself

but death itself is not free.

Anyway, where you are going you won't spend a penny.

Cries of pain

Are you expecting a happy event?

- Happy, not sure.

- It will be soon? - Imminent.

And you, you have orphans?

Excuse me? I mean you have children?

- No. Seeing what life has in store for them...

Goodbye, sir.

- Thank you very much Madam.

Well then, good evening.

- Thank you. Sorry.

What's good

Resisting

When life is not rosy

When the mood

Is gloomy

What's the use fighting

Against pessimism

But what is being proposed

- Sadness, horror, etc

Nothing to say When one sees that

It's not worse

than being rats

- To stop climbing those stairs

To stop seeing this scene

To leave before dawn

Because in a few moments

No regrets

Or remorse

I will finally be dead.

- This isn't very joyful Admit it

But it's like that. Admit it,

It's no use

of crying for him.

No shit- It isn't worth staying alive.

And yet I believed in it.

I did my best. Whatever I could.

But I admit defeat.

He isn't wrong He is right.

At this stage anyway

Might as well blow his brains out.

Aren't you tired of watching suicides?

- Yes, a little.

It isn't too much fun.

- You are right. I will talk to mom.

It's OK.

- What's going on?

Phone ambulance, maternity.

Go on, ma'am.

Push, go!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! It's a boy!

A very beautiful baby.

Oh, he smiled.

What's that? My son smiles? No, he isn't.

It must be a fold of mouth. Why would he smile?

- It looks like a smile.

That would be amazing. Nobody ever smiled

in our family.

Mishima, come here.

Why?

The client says Alan smiled. What's that story?

He must have a diarrhea. It may be confused with a smile,

But it's not. It's just a grin.

Look.

If you push down the corners of the mouth he's sulking

Like his brother and sister

Since they were born.

Let go, to see.

Tickle tickle...

You see, he's smiling.

Alright! What did you want? A rope.

To hang myself. - Good. Follow me.

Your ceiling is high?

- Uh... like that.

- You do not know?

6 feet should suffice.

The noose is all ready.

Just put your head through it. Here, it's a gift. My pleasure.

How can that be? He smiles? - It was a pleasure to see

a baby smile.

Yes, yes, it is.

Come on, go home. You've better things to do there.

- Goodbye, sir.

- That's not true.

- Shit!

Oh, shit!

Good morning.

I keep telling you, not "good morning." You must say "bad morning"

and "goodbye" rather than "see you" since they will never come back.

When will you understand that?

What can I do for you?

As a matter of fact,

We are hesitating.

- It would be for Mister, or Madam?

We would like to go together.

- Good. It is more advantageous.

For Valentine's Day we have a deal for couples.

- What are you hiding behind your back?

What will we do with you?

You drew your sister busy and pretty. Don't you see she's useless and ugly?

I think Marilyn is pretty.

Ugly, I'm ugly.

I'm really ugly.

And there he's, making his sister cry.

Oh, it's snowing...

- Hum... Well, to us.

- What do you say?

- It's sad.

Exactly, that's sad. And that's why it's pretty.

- That's it. You will be happy.

- Alan, what do they say?

- See you, good night...

Pardon me.

My mistake. Goodbye.

Damn. Too late.

- How are the news? - Alarming.

- Good. It is good for us.

Emergency. I am going.

There, there I am coming...

- Please.

- What is it? It's urgent. I can't stand it.

14? I will see if I have it.

14,

14... Ah!

Where is it?

Where did it go?

What are you doing here? - I could not sleep.

- 35 Euros.

For 1 bullet only? One maybe, but the right one.

But in the showcase it's 22 euros.

Night rate.

- Okay, I take it then.

You can come back tomorrow, if you prefer.

- Absolutely not! I couldn't wait.

- Who was that? - A desperate man with an empty gun.

What are you reading?

- Statistics for this year.

One suicide attempt every 40 min,

but only 20% success.

It's awful all those people who miss.

Fortunately we're here. We are not about to close shop.

- Still, it's not fun.

Good night, darling.

Sweet dreams mom sweet dreams dad.

...

I told him, not on the public road! We could lose our license.

- Alan

hurry up a bit!

Why can't we kill ourselves, mom?

I've told you 100 times, Marilyn. It is impossible.

- Think, poor nitwit,

Who would keep the store?

Vincent is right. This is a family business

started by your great-grandfather,

Célestin Tuvache.

Later, when we are too old,

you will take over the shop.

- For the boys yes. But why can't I cut my veins.

Because it hurts.

And life is beautiful. - No, Alan.

Life is appalling.

But we must fight.

- So, you wanted something...

- Hello, it's me again. - Yes, hi there.

...something original, manly...

And voila.

The seppuku, more commonly known as hara-kiri.

Not for everybody.

For athletes only.

But strong as you are...

What is... was your job?

-Gym teacher

Oh, then it's for you.

I thought of gas or napalm...

A fine-immolation in a high school courtyard

it would be striking.

But honestly, seppuku is more classy.

I sharpen them myself.

Touch the edge of this blade.

It enters in you like in butter.

Come on, children, let's hurry...

- Bye, mom. Vincent!

What?

- Here is a demonstration.

Bye dad. Have a nice day.

- Come on. You'll be late.

I am not sure I can do it. You do home service?

And what else? We are not murderers after all.

We provide. People manage.

And... it is expensive?

Certainly, but the samuraï kimono is provided: 800 Euros.

Ho, it's quite a sum!

- A shroud has no pockets. Neither does a kimono ...

Excuse me. Then?

- Well, I'll take it.

- You will not regret it.

Our suicides are guaranteed. Our motto: "Dead or reimbursed"

You only die once. Might as well make it a unique...

...unforgettable moment.

- It can't go on This carnage

It's too horrible All those people who

All these people who think Only of the grave

What's the point In brief

To be on earth If we think only

If we think only of comitting suicide.

A peaceful life Without despair

Quiet life And then stop

Yes stop moping

Death to Death Let's be smart

Or else We're all end up

We will all end up orphans

It's true It's not funny

But we can't do anything

You shouldn't start as losers

The world belongs to us

We are only children

Just good-for-nothing

- I think we can succeed

Put an end to suicides

Let me think

I may have an idea

- Let him think

- He may have an idea

- It is not easy. I hesitate.

- Lucrèce, can you come?

Madame would like something feminin.

♪ Feminin-?

What's most feminin is poison.

It's a bit like a perfume.

I was just preparing some in the lab.

Yes, a poison! Why not?

Here, our entire range

declined poison water or concentrated.

More expensive naturally but so much more effective.

You prefer a contact poison or...

to inhale... or to ingest?

- What is the best?

It depends on the desired effect.

I especially research the effect of death.

- Bye darling,

I'm going. Mr. Calmel's delivery.

All this is very tempting.

It is.

All our products are good.

Take your time. I'll let you think.

- Can I help you?

- This is what?

Freeze-dried amanita phalloides.

It smells nothing and you feel nothing.

Our customers are happy.

- How do you know?

- None ever came back.

- Dying my natural death I have no patience

- There's everything you need here We can trust them

We don't know what to take. That's why we hesitate.

- A rope to hang

- Or poison "sudden death"

- I thought I'd slash my wrists

Is it a good idea

That's what my brother in law did,

Now deceased.

Wait, wait, think

- Dying without blisters Or nausea or burns

Guaranteed pure product

Cyanide pellets

This is not good

The poison

In contrast, The gun shot

Frankly I do not recommend

It's noisy It's dirty

It is not a wonder

You failed in your life?

Succeed in your death!

- What is it?

- This is Mr. Tuvache. I bring you your order.

Come in, it's open.

Take the pads.

Enter, Tuvache.

Come in.

- I do not know what to choose.

Sorry to bother you all this time.

Not at all. Take your time.

- It is not an easy decision.

Of course.

- Everything is there, Mr. Calmel.

Mr. Calmel? Ah!

Finally. If you knew how I've had enough of this shit.

- What shit?

- Life.

Ah yes, life...

Believe me, Tuvache

Go on to the other side, it's the only solution,

The end of worries, the big sleep,

The extasy...

- Still,

it isn't very joyful.

- It is those who remain who are sad.

When you're dead, you won't be there to miss yourself.

Think about it, man.

Yes, of course. I put it where?

Give me that!

Finish...

For the little bill...

- There, under the bed.

Finish...

- What would you take?

- I do not know.

To die? Unfortunately I can't allow myself.

Must say what is

I have regrets

And remorse

Going on selling death

When I see it all

All that is wrong All that's not going well

I'd like to jump off a bridge

- I am not in good spirits. This may be normal

With what happens

All these people

Who leave and pass away

- It would be tempting

A bloodbath

To finish

Once and for all With the future

- It's not fun

Killing people

And to not be able

Feel more than that about it.

To kill oneself, To behead oneself

Or be bloodless Suffocated by your own tongue

- It makes me feel like ending my life

Sometimes I wonder

As I really got the blues

But we cannot Neither you nor me

Because we would

have to close shop for good.

Whatever happens We must remain alive

To insure

Happiness to our suicides

- Well, I'll take that.

You won't regret it. Silly me, I meant

Let me know how that went. Hahaha, what a dummy I am!

- It's not too noisy, at least?

- Are you sure this will work?

Sure.

- Still, it's risky.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It's time to move faster.

Otherwise, we will all end up orphans.

We will meet here.

Your father will kill you.

- Do not worry. - In any case, it will be great.

- Attention...

- What are you doing?

Playing marbles Dad.

And that makes you laugh?

- Well yes, it's funny.

I don't see what's funny. - Go home.

Yes, Dad.

Bye Alan...

He laughed.

- You didn't forget Marilyn's birthday?

- I even bought gifts.

- Stop laughing all the time, you are irritating me.

- Okay.

- You look stupid.

Yes, Dad.

- You want a cigarette?

- A what?

A cigarette.

- Really? Can I smoke? At my age?

Of course. Why not?

You'll see. This is good for health.

Must inhale, keep it inside as long as possible.

You like it?

Yes, it's not bad. Thank you, Dad.

- You see, why not?

- I want to kill myself

but I don't know if I can afford it.

Wait, the cheapest?

I have what you need.

A bag of our store. Very strong. Ideal for choking.

And then here, to close it tight around your throat.

Thank you. - How much?

- Nothing. When we can help...

- lf I had met more people disinterested as you

I would not be here.

- That's it, that's it Sorry, we are closing.

- You want another cigarette? Yes, I do.

- Here, keep the pack. If you want, I will give you

a cartridge. Thanks, Dad.

Stay here. Finish your cigarette quietly.

Light up another if you wish.

And do not forget, inhale all the smoke.

Yes, Dad.

Good evening, my dear.

Good evening my love. Alan is not with you?

Yes, yes. He is there.

- But he smokes!

What... - I'll explain.

- Mom, Alan is smoking...

- We will explain.

- Are you okay Alan? - Good day?

And school?

Yes, yes. All is well.

There is joy... Hello, hello...

And there it is...

Oh, it's me. Mom, it's so beautiful.

Vincent drew it.

Yes, it's me.

- I wish I could die.

- Tell yourself that you have 1 year less to live.

And now, the gifts...

This is too cute.

Thank you. And this is so cute.

- You Alan, what's your gift?

- A scarf to strangle me...

- But no.

It is worn loose, vaporous.

Like a caress around your neck.

And that?

- This is to dance with it. I'll show you.

- Where did you get this?

- I bought it with my pocket money.

- But you're crazy. You shouldn't have.

Yes, for you, nothing is too beautiful.

Therrre iiiis joyyyy...

- How is it going? - Hi. You have the music?

- OK. That is good. Your uncle?

- I am sure he will agree. - Perfect.

And our reward?

- Patience.

- You want some? - NO...

- You should. It is good for health.

- Who's is the idiot who told you that? - My father.

What's wrong with him? Tobacco gives cancer. You want to die young?

- Well... No.

Then throw it away. It's shit.

Don't move. It will start.

- Come on.

- She is beautiful, eh, my sister?

- But... But...

But...

Mishima? What are you doing?

What's going on?

- There is that...

- But... Oh...

There... I am here.. All is well.

- Hello Sir. - Hello children. What brings you here?

- Uncle Dom, we need a favor from you.

- If I can. What kind of favor?

- Well, a big one. - Very big.

- I am listening to you.

Oh, doctor,

Life is too sad.

Store... with...

We need to kill people...

Suicide rope hara-kiri

and tutti quanti.

- If you only knew I've had enough of this shit.

- What shit?

The life.

Seppuku-bottle gas

pellets, poison pills.

Good morning, sir, ma'am...

- Stop laughing, you irritate me.

- That's it.

Ah, I understand your confusion,

but if life was funny We would know it.

Eins, zwei, three, four...

If life was funny

Well it would be known.

It's like a slice of shit

Buttered on both sides

Overwork Breaking down

Swamp I relieve the ravages

Sinking

Overwork Slavery

I relieve the sinking

You frequent suicide

Therein lies the problem

Helping people

To end their lives

Gets on your nerves.

These short-time customers

Make your life bitter

And you are harassed

Overwork, break up, swamp

I relieve the ravages Sinking

Your husband is overworked

He is schizophrenic

He should be bedridden For at least two weeks

- Two weeks in bed? What do we do with the store?

- This I do not know, dear ma'am. It's 250 euros.

- This is a cement cinderblock provided with a chain

which gets locked to your ankle.

Go to the edge of a river, throw it in front of you

You are pulled to the bottom. And hop! No more worries.

- It doesn't seem bad..

- My husband makes them himself.

well, he made them, poor man.

The name of the shop is embossed on one side.

- Put your hand. Yes, I feel it well.

Alright, I'll take that.

- Are you going far? - Yes... No...

- My son will help you.

Alan? The hand truck.

- You really think...

Ta, ta, ta.

It's the least we can do. It's as heavy as a dead donkey

that thing.

But... Oh!

My God...

But...

- Well...

- It's high, huh?

Good day, sir.

It is today, As I tell you,

We win or lose.

It's super!

This afternoon, nothing forbidden.

They will be on their ass. - Like hell!

- We're going to cut the sausage

We are going to spin the banana

We garden gnomes

We have ideas in the skull

All with me The big day has come

They will fall

on their ass

Today

I tell you

We win or lose. This is super!

This afternoon

nothing is forbidden. They will be

On the ass. Like hell!

No lack of enthusiasm.

People are dummies. We condemn them.

Bump off the humdrum. We are the smartest.

We are Supermen.

All with me The day has come

Listen to this. They will be on their ass.

It's too tempting.

Nothing to lose.

It's fun to make a mess.

It's tempting.

It's fun to make a mess.

Too bad,

If it will cost you. The good mood

is on its way.

- Hey...

- So?

- It's up to you.

- Wow... - So you like it?

- Marilyn, tell me...

where did you get these bubbles? - Alan gave them to me.

Oh, but...

Shit...

- But what is it?

- Uh, nothing.

- I felt like a slap.

You were dreaming. Go back to sleep.

- This thing is heavy.

- Come on... But shut up.

Hide yourself.

- What's this racket?

But what...

- But what's

this thing? Mom!

What's going on?

- It is Alan.

Vincent, help me!

- In here...

- Attention, behind you...

Attention, Alan!

Give me that!

- Come on guys!

- I got it.

Oh no...

- Come here, you!

Oh no!

Go back home ladies and gentlemen, We have nothing left to sell.

- Goodbye, ma'am. - Goodbye.

- It's okay Ms. Tuvache, we will suicide another time.

- By the way, what do you need?

- Nothing, miss. Not anymore.

Madam, I ask you the hand of your daughter.

I don't know her name...

- Marilyn. - Marilyn.

And with whom I just fell in love,

and who restored my appetite for life.

- Yeah...

- Mom, please, say yes...

- Well... yes... But on one condition.

- Anything you want.

That you help us to clean up all this mess.

- Mom,

I love you. Me too, I love you.

- I intended to leave this earth

Horrible and evil

To fall asleep with ether

But against all odds

It fell on me

Of course without warning

I never received

Such a look from a girl

- The charms of destiny

have unpredictable twists and turns.

- I saw everything in black

It's nothing to say it.

I was in despair

And who would have predicted

That love would come

In this obscure shop

A cheerful young man

Wearing pretty face

- The charms of destiny

have unpredictable twists and turns.

- No more wasted nights

No more days of suffering

Let's live in the wonder

of a common attraction

All is allowed so long

As love blooms.

Dawn after dawn

Life will follow its course.

The charms of destiny

will perfume our days.

But how did you?

It is so clean

we could eat on the floor - I was going to propose it.

I am Breton and I make perfect crêpes.

How about a crêpe picnic here, right now?

Oh yes, why not?

It's delicious.

- It's true, crêpes are good.

- You are a real gem. - You embarrass me.

- He is the perfect man.

What about changing the suicide shop to a shop for something else?

- A shop for what?

- I don't know we can try.

Anyway the stock is ruined.

We could open a crêperie.

- This is an idea.

Crêpe evoke mourning. The clients will not be disoriented.

- What is this shit?

- I forgot about him!

-Someone can explain?

- It's me Dad. Everything is my fault.

Attention, move over!

Pardon me, madam.

Mishima, stop it now!

- Calm down, Dad.

- I'll explain. - You will explain nothing!

Come here, bastard!

Mishima, if you kill this child,

I kill myself!

Please Mishima...

- Okay, I made a very big mistake, I'm sorry...

I beg your pardon.

I propose a deal. An honest deal.

You're a great dad, the best dad.

But you're a serious dad, too serious. Everybody is.

You never laugh, not even smile.

So if right here, right now I can make you laugh,

you forgive me?

- Bastard, Mishima! You have the death of this child on your conscience.

Oh no...

- Assassin!

- But I... I...

What...

- He's alive.

Mom...

- He's flying.

Ball.

You would like?

One skull-outbreak, one!

The "Red Beard" crêpe is for?

- For me!

- Thank you.

- Hello, it's me again.

- What a good surprise. What brings you?

- You would have a...? - Pardon?

A cyanide crêpe?

- Do not move.

Hold.

Keep it closed, you fool. If my wife learnt I still sell those,

She would kill me.

- How much? Nothing.

- There is no reason

- It is in memory of the bad old times. Good day.

- Thank you.

- Goodbye madam.

- Lucrèce, I thought about something. Yes, what?

- A loyalty card.

because now happy customers come back.

What do you say? - Very good idea.

- Arghh...

We were stupid. Today everything is clear.

Down with morbidity Since life is splendid.

Living on homicides Made us livid

Let's be lucid and death to sucide.

- My face of Lent I'm tired of it.

- There is no problem He's less white

I love life and even

- Vincent, we love you

- I will write poems

We repainted the world In a few seconds

To no longer see

All these filthy colors

You are right Alan, We must keep the banana.

Death we are condemning. You see we are gliding.

- It's crazy when you think about it.

A matter of common sense.

Goodbye violence.

Deliverance at last.

And therefore no more suffering

The beautiful life starts

- For us it's over.

We lost it all. But we get used to it.

If we had known

We would have lived

As it's evident

Do not pity us. You don't know your happiness.

Being passed away

Isn't a happy affair.

An abundance of laughs, like a perfume

Which surrounds us.

The dead season Isn't our kingdom anymore.

So we must listen to all these ghosts.

All together now Gloom, go home!

We listen to you, Miss We trust you.

Be natural,

and without shades.

- Love spellbinds me, Sweet romance.

- It's the universal

attraction!

- No dream

is impossible.

So long as you believe

in it strongly.

And if it's sometimes painful,

Life is always better than death.

- It's all black, I'm scared. A match?

- No, don't do that...

Subtitles by Serge Ansay