Original subtitles

[Music]

so did you see my weather forecast last

night the one where you predicted the

earthquake in Galveston

yes I didn't predict it I said it would

be

funny so now that I'm a famous weather

girl on cable would you like an

autograph photo no and I don't want the

action figure either

there's my little mommy to be how you

doing honey I don't know I have a really

uneasy feeling about this pregnancy oh

honey that's just

normal why don't we talk about

it what are you doing you're about to

Mother Reba I love to watch you

mother I wish your mothering moments

were available on DVD I'd have every

season

honey well I mean I feel pretty good and

the doctor said that everything's going

great but I just I have this feeling

that something's just hanging over my

shoulder and it's making me feel really

uneasy I mean do you ever have that

feeling

honey I think the feeling that you're

talking about about is what I call going

good Blues going good Blues yeah going

good Blues is a feeling that we all get

when things are going really good but

we're just waiting for things to go bad

oh my god oh

Heaven Sayan just listen to me okay the

key is not to worry about what could go

wrong but just enjoy all the things that

are going right does that help yeah yeah

it does thanks Mom good deal w

okay the woman is good the woman is

right the woman is

wrong what I thought you said mom was

great at mothering yeah she is okay but

she's old school okay I mean that kind

of advice would be great on the Prairie

Mrs Eng

Les but today we've got a whole new

thing going well why do you think I'm

having this feeling oh shy you're having

these feelings because you have got a

million things to do before that baby

comes I mean there's so much to plan I

don't even know what to do first well

the first thing is done you told

me I'm going to take it from here peanut

okay a thanks Barber jeene that's sweet

now that I'm a role model people stop me

on the street all the time and they ask

me they say stormy clear

weather what is your secret for

balancing your role as wife mother and

career re woman and I say it's no secret

it's organization and then I say would

you like a

photo mys are planted in the past oh my

life is changing fast who I am is who I

want to

be a single mom who works too hard who

loves her kids and never stops with

gentle hands and the Heart of a

f I'm a

[Music]

Survivor okie dokie barbar Jean has

compiled a list of all the things that

you guys need to accomplish before my

blessed event now please skim through

them and let me know if you have any

questions I think you're going to find

that every item is necessary

um why is it that I have so many more

pages than everyone else because you did

this to

me I have to learn Spanish yes honey in

case they have to take a cab and the

driver is

Latino probably the same reason I have

to learn

farsy okay okay now any and all other

questions should be directed towards van

who is in charge of all Communications

which includes printed materials

newsletters and coming up with the baby

name that is cooler than Siri but not as

weird as

Apple I meanwhile will be in charge of

Fitness and Nutrition so Cheyenne I'm

going to need a list of foods already in

the house including fridge pantry and

freezer okay well I believe that falls

under

Communications Cheyenne you do realize I

have a job right say that to my stomach

van so our unborn child can hear how

much you just don't

care hey when you come out I'll show you

where I hide from

Mommy well this has been really great

but I'm late for any place where they're

not talking about Cheyenne what I'm

going to go rehearse with my band Kira

Kira I think this is a little more

important than your little Band

Rehearsal this is about the birth of my

child listen to yourself it's always my

my child my pregnancy my fifth grade

reading

level I read good

Kira you should feel well about

yourself what did you do to make her so

awful dad oh don't blame me baby I was

golfing for most of her

childhood almost 2:00 as Fitness and

Nutrition counselor I think it's time

for a light snack can we have some booze

with our

snack I think she was talking about

Cheyenne so was

I so was

I well I want to thank you guys for

being so wonderful I'm going to get each

of you a nice little gift and I believe

that falls under

communication I like to fall under a

truck hey what's going on nothing

nothing meeting's over nobody saying

nothing Mrs H she's given me pages of

things to do who has her foggy clear

bottom

[Applause]

[Laughter]

what have you

done nothing nothing I was just I was so

inspired by watching you mother earlier

that I thought I might just step in and

and do a little

touchup you know who shouldn't do

touch-ups the

touched okay I'm going to go talk to

Cheyenne and see if I can straighten out

your mess you know what you were going

to get a photo

but not

[Applause]

anymore well I guess I better go get a

book to teach me

Spanish hey wouldn't that fall

under

Communications go before I throw

you Mr H you did me a

favor will you hold this pillow over my

face until I stop twitching

relax pal you're just a little stressed

out look the next time Cheyenne does

something that's a little bit crazy just

let it bounce off of you like like BB's

off of

Buick BB's off of Buick yeah what kind

of stupid advice is

that hey it works ping ping ping ping

ping

[Laughter]

ping well I guess doesn't hurt to

try is that what you did when Barbara

Jean was

pregnant no I played golf through most

of her

pregnancy so honey stop worrying so much

you can count on us to make sure that

everything will get done and it's more

important right now for you to relax and

not let yourself get all worked up okay

I guess I can bring it down a couple of

notches I think I was overreacting cuz

I'm just so excited to be pregnant again

we're all excited too oh not Kira well

to be fair this is a joyful event and

that's really not C's

thing you know what I just thought of

zip it rainy sore

bottom I wasn't going to say anything I

was just thinking that wouldn't it be

hysterical if Cheyenne had a baby

exactly like

Kira what why would you say something

like that barber Jean because that's

what she does she just talks and talks

and talks until somebody's head

explodes well it just seems like

Elizabeth takes after her so what if the

next one takes after Kira okay you know

what I changed my mind I want the action

figure and a

hammer I could I could have a baby just

like Kira hey Mom do you remember what

she was like growing up she was a

horrible little b

word she was a be to me every single day

she was a a bee to my friends she was a

bee to everyone and I could have another

one right in here okay stop it stop it I

want you to understand I'm not saying

this to hurt you I'm saying this so

you'll relax okay and don't take it

personally Cheyenne

yeah Kira was not the

monster you were

[Music]

you were the

beat so you're telling me this to cheer

me up that I was the horrible one not

Kira

yes I see tag me in Rea tag me in

tagging you Barber Jean Cheyenne listen

to me Kira fall follow you everywhere

but you didn't want to share the

attention with her I was an attention

hog oh come on Mom that doesn't even

sound like

[Laughter]

me sweetheart you had a fulllength

mirror on your

[Applause]

back you know what when I was younger I

was an attention hog when you were

younger oh yeah I completely out I mean

now I'm uncomfortable being the center

of

attention stop looking at

me okay if I was what you're saying that

I was why don't I remember any of it

okay let me show you something

cheyen it's a picture from Kira's fifth

birthday I usually keep this picture

tucked behind another

photo this is the only picture we took

that day

the party took a bad

turn what is this it's a birthday cake

with a toy fire engine smashed in

it my family used to use

candles quit looking at

me what

happened well we gave you the truck to

give to Kira but you didn't want to give

her anything so after she opened it you

took it from her and smashed it into the

cake that was the last day Kira

cried I know what I have to do I have to

make things right with Kira so I can get

my karma Back in Balance Karma yeah

that's Buddhist for I'm rubber your glue

[Music]

hey

Van van are you sleeping with your eyes

open

again you know Mrs H when you shoot BB's

at a Buick some are going to bounce off

ping ping

pink but eventually one is going to

sneak

through and hit some class and it's

going to break into a

million tiny pieces nobody knows what

I'm going

through pull it together boy we got

neighbors what's

that that's Cheyenne texting me

again she sent me out for ice how long

ago

come

on where have you been I textt you like

50

times what is

this the Goldfish

[Applause]

escaped what's going on here we are

decorating the house for a birthday

[Applause]

party for who Kira I'm giving her back

the birthday party that I ruined for her

when she was five I asked van to get me

a big number five candle he brought me a

four and a

one it adds up to five it's not the same

thing

P

hone what made you decide to give her

another birthday party me

well it was Cheyenne's idea but I was

right behind her and look y'all I made a

cake but since I'm in charge of Fitness

and Nutrition I made a sugarfree brand

cake with cottage cheese

frosting oh you know what would go good

with that a hot cup of

[Applause]

dirt I couldn't find any wrapping paper

oh a Jakey I asked you to do one little

thing and you can't seem to do

it well at least I didn't bring you four

and a one

candle it adds up to

F

surprise Kira do you know what this is

you finally got your GD

you are such a

crackup Mom what's going on here well

honey your sister wanted to give you a

birthday party to make up for one that

she kind of um messed up when you were

younger I did something that I regret

and I can not feel better until I

apologize so this is about you feeling

better yes and you

too you're amazing Cheyenne even when

you do something for somebody else it's

still mostly about you so you're not

going to forgive me for one little thing

that I did to you when we were kids that

you don't even remember no Cheyenne

because it wasn't just one little thing

you were crappy to me all the time and I

do remember that birthday party very

well I believe it ended something like

this

a well I better go talk to her

[Music]

that's it Mom I'm done I tried and now

done now honey you know what made me

think that Carol would be anything but

completely selfish about this now hold

on a second that's not exactly fair you

can't expect someone to forgive you

after years and years of hurtful

Behavior why

not I have always been the giving one

it's about time that she did something

for me oh your little sister did a lot

of things for you oh name one how about

the time she beat up Tyler

Wallace oh yeah who Tyler Wallace was

this bully that one day made the mistake

of pulling Cheyenne's pigtails oh I used

to keep mine grease just in case you

know

remember cheyen screamed Tyler laughed

and Kira came out of nowhere and dropped

him

hard she slapped that boy so many times

it sounded like

[Applause]

applause look cheen maybe Kira will

forgive you but you have to mean it oh

good Kira your sister has something

she'd like to say to you Dad said I had

to come in here he didn't say I had to

stop halt turn listen

speak

nicely

okay I'm sorry

that

that you know what I could have a boy

shut well I don't know what to say just

speak from your heart remember the woman

is

good quit looking at me

okay

Kira one thing that I hate doing most in

this world is admitting that I was wrong

and especially admitting that I've been

wrong 15 years but I

have I've been very selfish I treated

you badly and I blamed you for it and

I'm really really

sorry and I hope that my daughter turns

out exactly like

you sort

of thanks I appreciate

it you're

welcome we're not going to hug are we

no yes

oh Rea that is so beautiful you know you

and I may have very different styles of

mothering but you know the bottom line

is we are good Mothers we are

good where's

Henry

crap yo check it out Beauty And The Geek

the 2hour season premiere Wednesday