Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hey, Becker.

Hey, John.

Hey, Jake.

How you doing?

Doing fine.

So, you ready?

Yes, I am.

See ya.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where you going?

Oh, don't tell me you forgot.

Well, I didn't forget anything.

And frankly, I think it's presumptuous of you

to assume that I did forget.

So go ahead.

Tell me, big man.

What is it you think I forgot?

Has that ever worked before?

I'll be honest.

I just came up with it.

Look, I was talking about our bet.

You lost.

You owe me dinner.

A bet?

Yeah, about the fastest land animal.

You said ostrich.

I said cheetah.

I was right.

No, I said fastest land animal you can

make into a burger.

You can make anything into a burger.

If you only knew.

Look, you were wrong.

The bet was dinner.

You said we'd go tonight.

So?

So, we'll go to dinner, but not tonight.

I'm, uh...

I'm, uh, sick.

Oh, please.

No, you know, ask them.

I'm all clammy.

I'm pale.

I'm pasty.

Oh, you always look like that.

No, seriously.

I'm going straight home.

You know, I just came by for a

cigarette.

You're sick and you're still smoking?

Look, I got germs inside my lungs.

I'm trying to smoke them out, all right?

Leave me alone, will you?

Friday night, all right?

I'll give you a whole week to build

up an appetite.

Oh, don't wait too long, Becker.

Your coupon could expire.

Oh, right, yeah.

Coupon, that's right.

Um, make that Thursday, all right?

So, Jake, since you don't have dinner planned,

Bob's free.

How about Dominic's at 8?

Yeah, that's exactly what I want to do

tonight, Bob.

Have dinner with you.

Great, I'll see you there.

Bob, I wasn't serious.

He's gone, Jake.

Maybe I should give him a call.

No.

Yeah, Becker, you don't exactly look sick to

me.

Trust me, I got a bug.

You know, I'm just gonna go home and

climb into bed.

Ah!

You know, Laura, it's great you came over

tonight.

Yeah, I'm glad it worked out, too.

I had such a stressful day.

I was stuck in meetings all morning, then

my sister was on the phone for hours

babbling on about her kid's first tooth.

Yeah, why do parents think it's front-page

news every time their kid farts?

Switch?

Mm.

You know what's great about this?

Yes, John, I know.

Ming's is cheap, the portions are huge, there's

no delivery charge.

No, no, no.

I didn't mean that.

You're right, though, that is great, but...

No, I mean this.

You know, I...

The last few months have been terrific.

Completely casual.

You know, no strings, no pressure.

I mean, the minute you leave, it's like

you weren't even here.

I bet there's a compliment in there somewhere.

Oh, no, don't get me wrong.

I like you.

It's just that I think it's great that

we can meet here, have...

Ming's, you know, and, uh, and move on.

Oh, yeah, about that.

I have an early meeting in the morning,

and I want to get my notes together.

Plus, there's this movie I want to watch

on TV tonight.

You can watch it here if you want.

I would, but you don't have cable.

I did, until a damn cable company found

out.

What's your schedule like?

Let's see.

I have a client in town for a

few days, then there's my cousin's wedding this

weekend.

Now, see, that's another thing that's great about

us not dating.

You know, I don't have to go to

some banquet hall and watch your Aunt Shirley

on the dance floor shaking her arm fat.

So how's next Tuesday?

Let's see.

Uh, great.

Ming's Tuesday.

Hey, hey, Laura.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm always in such a hurry.

Bye, John.

This was nice.

No, no, I didn't mean that.

You know, you did have the extra dumplings.

You know, I...

All right, all right.

No, you're all right.

You're all right.

You know, you'll get it next time.

Wrench?

Jake?

Well, somebody sounds all cured.

I guess you doctors save the best drugs

for yourselves.

That's right.

Be nice to me, I'll tell you how

I cured my blindness.

So get this.

I'm in a cab last night.

I'm on my way to the restaurant.

Wait, Bob, you actually went to the restaurant?

I was never gonna meet you.

Then I'm glad I stood you up.

You stood me up?

Did you see me there?

Anyway, I'm in this cab, and you know

how you dig behind your seat for loose

change?

I mean, you figure whatever you find, if

it's not all wet and slimy, you hit

pay dirt.

That's disgusting.

On occasion.

Anyway, I'm fishing around back there, and I

feel something.

And, well, check it out.

It's a ring.

Ooh, let me see.

Amazing.

She just hears the word ring, and she

sticks her hand out.

That's sad.

Very sad.

Look what it says.

New York Giants, 1987 Super Bowl champions.

Oh, my God, a Super Bowl ring.

That's why you blew me off for dinner?

You're not exactly the person I turned to

for show and tell.

I wonder who it belongs to.

It belongs to me.

I mean, it's a Super Bowl ring.

That's like the ultimate symbol of personal achievement.

Do you know what it means to me

to have something like this?

Well, are you gonna wear it?

No, I'm gonna sell it.

I always wanted to get lucky in the

back of a cab, and now I have.

You're not gonna try to find the guy

who lost it?

Why?

To return it.

Why?

To give it back to its rightful owner.

Are we even speaking the same language?

Bob, winning the Super Bowl is like a

once-in-a-lifetime experience.

It must be killing whoever lost it.

Why do you even care?

Because I'm a nice person.

I have compassion.

Yeah?

Try selling that on eBay.

Mom and Dad, come on.

How many times are we gonna go through

this?

You're not getting divorced.

Look, is this about Dad sleeping with the

maid?

Okay, I did not know you didn't know

about that.

Are you sure these pills are gonna take

care of my headaches?

Yes, Mrs. Goldman.

What about the stomach aches?

Yes, Mrs. Goldman.

What about the congestion?

Yes, Mrs. Goldman.

What about the nagging pain?

Mrs. Goldman, I promise, your pain will go

away.

I know mine just did.

Dad, what was that screeching noise?

Are you wearing your driving glasses?

What do you mean they're in your pants

pocket?

Of all the things you should keep in

your pants, your glasses are not one of

them.

Linda, who's up?

Look, just call me when you get home

and stop all this divorce talk, okay?

Love you, Daddy.

Wanna knock off the personal phone calls?

What makes you think that was a personal

call?

Love you, Daddy.

That could be anyone.

Good point.

Uh, Mr. Riley's in room one.

Linda, I'm sorry about your parents.

That's okay.

It happens a few times a year.

Dad cheats, Mom drinks to forget.

Then when she does, Dad figures he could

cheat again.

Now, still, it must be tough on your

mother.

So you're taking her side?

Do you know what he has to put

up with?

I mean, the mood swings, the drinking, the

fights in public.

I guess that would be difficult.

So now you're taking his side?

No, Linda, I'm just concerned about you.

So now you're taking my side?

I'm just saying it seems like a big

mess that needs to be cleaned up.

Oh, that's great, Margaret.

Blame it on the maid.

Jake, I've been thinking about this ring.

If I hadn't been on my way to

the restaurant to meet you, I never would

have been in that cab, and I never

would have found the ring.

So I'm gonna give you a first crack

at it.

Make me an offer.

I don't want the ring, Bob.

Reggie, I've been thinking.

If I hadn't been in your place before

I went to meet Jake, I never would

have been in that cab, and I never

would have found this ring.

Not interested.

Are you kidding?

I'm giving you a shot at a 100

% authentic, genuine...

It's a fake, isn't it?

Dan, the jeweler was right.

Even a blind guy can tell.

Fine, enjoy yourself.

Laugh in Bob's face.

All right, you're right, Bob.

That's cruel.

Turn around so we can laugh behind your

back.

Oh, for...

Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't expect you until next week.

Not that I'm complaining.

Come on in.

Well, you're here now.

What the hell?

I can read anytime, I guess.

Uh, we'll have Paul Ming's.

We'll get our usual going here.

Well, actually, John, could we just sit on

the couch for a minute?

Couch before food?

Whoa.

Yeah, I think I can adjust to that.

Uh, John, I didn't come over for Ming's.

We have to talk.

I've met someone.

What do you mean?

I mean, I met another guy.

I'm not following.

Well, it's not like I was looking.

It just happened.

Are you...

Are you trying to say that you met

someone?

Oh, come on.

What we had was never an exclusive thing.

It was just sex.

No attachments.

No commitments.

Who said that?

You did.

When?

Every single time we were together.

I only just met him, but I think

it has a chance to turn into something

serious.

So I guess what I'm saying is we

can't do this anymore.

No more Ming's?

Sorry.

Oh.

No, uh, that's okay.

I'm sorry.

You just caught me off guard there.

You know, I'm sort of used to this

arrangement of ours here.

You know, no big deal.

You go your way.

I go mine.

Like you said, uh, this wasn't serious.

Good luck to you.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Huh.

So you're okay?

Me?

Oh, no, yeah, I'm fine.

I don't need you to have Ming's.

I had it twice last week by myself.

And, uh, by that, I didn't mean...

I got it, John.

Well, take care of yourself.

And by that, I didn't mean...

No, no, no.

Mom, you can't be serious.

You're not really getting divorced.

Look, if you didn't leave him when you

found out he kept that other apartment, then...

Okay, I did not know you didn't know

about that.

Look, Mom, just try and relax, okay?

Try breathing into a paper bag.

Okay, then take the scotch out of the

bag first.

Look, just pull over and call me back.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Well, you don't sound fine.

You sound upset.

Maybe it would help if you just took

the rest of the day off.

No, no, I think it'd be better if

I just stayed here and kept working.

Oh, my God, honey, I didn't know it

was that bad.

Thanks, Margaret.

I think I'll just go back and restock

all the exam rooms.

You said you did that yesterday.

That's so sweet.

You believed me.

Oh, John, since you have Mr. Cohen's physical

during lunch, I thought I'd just order in

from Ming's.

No, no Ming's.

I'm never having Ming's again.

What?

I don't understand.

It's great.

As a matter of fact, Lewis and I

had Ming's the other night and it was

incredible.

Oh, great.

That's just great.

Now I have to live with that image

for the rest of my life.

Excuse me, please.

I'm a cab driver and I've been looking

everywhere for someone I dropped off and you,

you were in my cab.

All right, look, I was gonna tip you

but I only had singles.

No, it's not that.

A passenger loses a ring in my cab.

Oh, really?

Interesting.

Interesting.

And did this passenger happen to offer a

reward for this ring?

Yes.

The reward might be possible.

Well, I'm not making any promises but I

think I might know someone who can locate

the ring.

He's got the ring.

So much for leverage.

You know, you look really familiar.

Do I know you?

No.

Are you on TV?

No, I'm just a cab driver.

Wait a minute.

You're in the opening credits of that TV

show, World's Dumbest Athletes.

You're that Russian place kicker who ran 70

yards in the wrong direction and scored a

touchdown for the other team.

Giants 49ers, right?

You're Dmitri Petrenko?

Yes, that's me.

How about my ring?

That's your ring?

I don't get it.

It was not even real and you didn't

even play for the Giants.

After I lose game for my team, the

Giants win Super Bowl.

They said they couldn't do it without me,

so as a joke, they buy me this

ring.

Wow, that's cool.

Quite inspired.

Why would you even want it?

I mean, doesn't it just remind you of

the worst day of your life?

You don't know my life.

Look, I'm serious about the reward.

How about $50?

I don't know.

I would feel right taking 50 bucks from

you.

Make it 75.

60.

70.

65.

70.

75.

80.

90.

95.

You believe this guy?

Okay, 100, but my final offer.

Done.

Thank you.

I may just be cab driver, but when

I see this ring, I remember running on

that field, 60,000 people screaming my name.

Yeah, but they were screaming at you to

turn around.

But until I found that out, it was

the best moment of my life.

Hey, Gorby, wait up.

I can't keep your money.

Have another great day on me.

Thank you.

Did I just hear right?

Did Bob just give that guy his money

back?

Yeah.

Bob, are you okay?

Believe me, it was worth twice that much

just to feel the way I'm feeling right

now.

It's like a warmth going through my whole

body.

It's called compassion.

No, it's called superiority.

That guy's a loser.

I never realized the joy you could get

from looking down on another human being.

Maybe one day you guys will know what

I mean.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Look, this is really embarrassing, but I lost

this antique bracelet, and I think the last

time I wore it was here.

I remember having it when we were sitting

on the couch.

Mind if I look?

No, not at all.

I'm sorry about this, but it was my

grandmother's.

Uh-huh, your grandmother's.

Don't you think this is a little transparent?

Excuse me?

Oh, come on.

Obviously, you're having second thoughts about it.

Don't you think Freud might say that you

invented this lost bracelet as an excuse to

come and see me?

Or he might say that sometimes a bracelet

is just a bracelet.

I'm sorry I disturbed you.

I'll go.

Now, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are you sure about this?

I-I thought we sort of had something.

John, all we ever did was get together

in our spare time for casual sex.

Hey, just because it was casual sex doesn't

mean it was meaningless sex.

You know, did you ever think that it

was its casualness that gave it its meaning?

Do you really believe that?

I'm not even sure what I just said.

But it wasn't just sex, Laura.

Sometimes it was nice, too.

John, we never went out.

We never talked.

We never discussed our feelings or any kind

of future.

Exactly.

Why would you want to give all that

up?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe for a husband, kids, a life.

Yeah, trust me.

As soon as you get a husband and

kids, life goes right out the window.

What's going on here?

You said yourself that we had nothing special.

What are you fighting for?

Look, I didn't even realize I wanted more

until I found it.

Maybe you'll meet someone, too.

You just have to get out there.

I don't want to get out there.

I've been out there.

I'm no good at it.

I've been married twice, and I think I

proved I wasn't good at that, either.

This was perfect, and now it's going away.

What am I supposed to do, try again?

I hate that.

So all you want is sex without intimacy?

Companionship without commitment?

See, that's why you can't leave.

You get me.

I'm sorry, John.

This worked for me, too.

But now I want more.

I better go.

But this was...

fun, wasn't it?

Yeah.

This was a lot of fun.

It seems to me if you could overlook

your husband's affair with your best friend...

Okay, I did not know you didn't know

about that.

I will give Linda the message.

Margaret, I can't find Mr. Isaac's file anywhere.

Oh, his lab results just came in.

It should be there on the table.

Linda, you have got to tell your parents

to cut it out.

They have been calling here all morning.

Now, I could be wrong, but it sounds

like they've been drinking.

You think?

Look, I am sorry their marriage is in

trouble.

But they're your parents.

You handle it.

I'm going to lunch.

After all these years, why do they think

splitting up is gonna make them happy?

Happiness is a myth.

People are just brainwashed into thinking they're supposed

to want something more than they have.

Changing things doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna make

them better.

Why can't you just leave things the way

they are?

You don't throw away a life together just

because it isn't perfect.

You could end up throwing away something that

works pretty damn well.

Exactly.

I'm sorry.

What did you say?

PHONE RINGS Yeah, doctor's office.

Linda, yeah.

Linda?

Oh.

Uh, let me take a message here.

Oh, who's calling?

Oh, her father.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry about your divorce.

If you don't mind my saying, I don't

blame you.

You know, when you found out your wife

was having an affair with that tennis instructor.

Okay, I did not know that you didn't

know about it.

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