Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) And we're already behind.

All right, all right, I'll be right with

you as soon as I call my mechanic.

Uh-uh-uh, no time for personal calls.

Mr. Walters is in one, Mrs. Chang's in

two, and Ricky Bricklin's coming by for you

to take a look at his wrist.

Now go.

I-I haven't even had my coffee yet.

Patience first, coffee later.

But yesterday I was the boss here, right?

If you say so.

Oh, Margaret, what the hell is the water

bottle still doing here?

Like I told you last night, it's gonna

stay there till you pick it up and

put it on the cooler.

You know, a few women truly wanted equality.

Just do it.

Ah, another late arrival.

Linda, I've already given Dr. Becker his instructions,

and I have a few things for you,

too.

Ow!

Damn, that hurts.

Can I do something different than you made

him do?

Hey, I just wrenched my shoulder, you know,

putting that stupid water bottle up on the

cooler.

I hope you're happy.

Did you do it?

Yes, I did it.

Then I'm happy.

All right, get started on these, and when

Ricky Bricklin comes in, send it back to

the doctor.

Oh, could you do that?

I don't want to see him.

But I thought you two were dating.

I don't think that's gonna work out.

The whole time I was with him, I

couldn't shake this feeling that I wasn't attracted

to him.

Maybe that's because I wasn't attracted to him.

That would explain it.

If only Ricky looked like his brother.

Donnie is just so much hotter.

Hey, Linda.

Hey, Ricky.

Hi, Donnie.

I'm definitely missing something.

Had a great time last night.

Yeah, great time, he told me.

Haven't stopped talking about it.

How about a movie tonight?

Oh, tonight's not really...

Mind if I come?

I'd love to.

Great, we'll get dinner first.

I love dinner.

Italian?

Chinese?

Thai?

Mexican?

Falafel?

Works for me.

Don't ring.

Don't ring.

Please don't ring.

Hello?

Yeah, Amanda.

I'm still here at the newsstand.

Same place I was when you called ten

minutes ago.

Yeah, I'll be here all day, like I've

been telling you, all morning.

Hey, you know where you can reach me?

Unfortunately.

Problems with the wife?

No, Bob, I've told you we are not

married, and no, we are not having problems.

She's down in Baltimore visiting her parents, and,

well, she just misses me.

She's checking up on you.

She's not checking up on me.

She just likes to know where I am

every moment of every single day.

What's the matter, Bob?

You jealous?

Please.

The only reason he got a hot woman

like Amanda is out of pity.

If Bob was blind, he'd get that kind

of action, too.

Bob, the reason you don't get women isn't

because you can't see.

It's because they can't.

Why the hate?

And, Jake, I think it's sweet that she's

calling.

It's kind of romantic.

Oh, please.

When a woman calls a guy ten times

a day, it's romantic.

But when I do it, I'm a stalker.

Believe me, Connie Chung would have been lucky

to have me.

Off you go, Rich.

Oh, geez.

What's wrong with your shoulder?

Oh, I aggravated an old football injury.

Well, we know he didn't strain it picking

up a check.

For your information, I'm in a lot of

pain.

The last time this happened...

The 1911 Harvard-Yale game?

The last time this happened, they thought I

might need surgery.

I got to go in for an MRI

this afternoon.

Yeah, the pain's so bad, I can hardly

put my shirt on.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

I can barely raise my arm to comb

my hair.

And yet you can tough it out to

light a cigarette.

Well, I'm not dead.

John Becker?

Dr. Becker, that's right.

Oh, Dr. Great.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am

to have a patient who knows the drill.

My name is Randy.

I'll be helping you today.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's just get on with this, all right?

Wait.

Is this the adult one?

It's a lot smaller than I thought.

Well, it's even smaller when you're in there.

Well, it's only my shoulder.

How long can that take?

You know, the usual about 45 minutes.

45?

45 minutes in a row?

You're not claustrophobic, are you?

You know, like, are you afraid to ride

in the subway?

Why?

Is there some kind of street gang in

there or something?

Are you sure you're okay?

You seem like the kind of guy who

could use a Valium.

Oh, no.

I get that all the time.

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Okay.

Just climb right on up here, and we'll

get started.

Hey.

Is that my pager?

I don't hear anything.

Oh, you know why?

It's probably because it's on...

It's on vibrate.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, look at that.

One of my patients is having a...

Panic attack?

Yeah, panic attack.

Look, I hate to do this to you,

but this guy happens to be very close

to me.

You know, I got to go.

I'll call you when I...

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah, how you doing?

Still don't get it.

Um, what can I do for you?

He lost that farm.

That insurance for him.

Can't find it.

Vanished.

I got it.

It's gone.

I'll print you another one.

Ugh!

Computer keeps freezing up.

We can get you a new one.

Give you a great deal.

Friend lost his business.

Fire sale.

Has to sell everything.

Can I get one today?

Sorry.

Fire's not till Friday.

Hey, Donnie.

Hey, Ricky.

I had a great time last night.

We did, too.

Thanks for the movie.

Thanks for the popcorn.

Thanks for walking me home.

Thanks for inviting us in.

Thanks for changing into something a little more...

Thanks for stopping by.

Here's your new phone.

Bye, Linda.

Bye, you.

Keeping in mind that I'm a Christian, but

curious, what happened last night?

It was the best date I've ever been

on.

I'm at the movies.

I look to one side of me, and

there's Donnie.

Okay, he's a bit of a ditz, but

he's got a beautiful smile, twinkling eyes, incredible

bod.

And on the other side of me, there's

Ricky.

Okay, I have to get past his looks,

but he's so much fun.

He's cracking jokes, making me laugh, and then

all of a sudden, it dawns on me.

What dawns on you?

Oh, that between the two of them, they're

the perfect guy.

So you're gonna date the both of them?

If they'll have me.

Oh, John, I'm glad you're here.

Let me ask you something.

Those twins, Donnie and Ricky, is one of

them better looking than the other?

Yeah, Donnie.

Ow, God, my shoulder.

Oh, that reminds me.

The hospital called with the results of your

MRI.

Apparently, the machine detected a long, yellow streak

down your back.

For your information, I had a medical emergency.

I thought I was gonna die.

Well, anyway, I rescheduled your appointment for today

at 5 o'clock, and there is nothing

to be afraid of.

After all, you're a doctor.

You send patients for these all the time.

I send patients for all kinds of horrible

stuff, but this time, it's different.

This time, it's me.

You were very brave, honey.

Here you go.

Oh, and if this little boy is just

as brave, he'll get a lollipop, too.

Not interested, unless you got a chocolate one

with a chewy morphine center.

So, are we gonna do this, or is

there gonna be another emergency?

You need a few minutes?

Why?

To get my affairs in order?

Let's just do it.

You can always try closing your eyes and

visualizing an open space, like a meadow or

a lake.

So I'm in a coffin on a lake.

That's great.

Just trying to help.

Uh, wait, uh, wait, wait, wait.

Uh...

My nose itches.

All right.

Okay, I'm fine then.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So, if...

You can hear me in there, right?

Because I always tell my patients that, but

now I really need to know.

We'll be in contact the whole time.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What now?

So, if there's a problem, you can get

me right out, right?

Unless there's a power failure.

What do you mean?

But that hardly ever happens.

Can you hear me?

Perfectly clear.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Good.

Good.

Get me out of here!

Another triple date last night?

Yeah, we played tennis.

They won.

Linda, this has got to stop.

It's weird.

What are you talking about?

This is a simple love story between a

woman and a man.

And another man.

I still say it's unnatural.

Love isn't perfect, Margaret.

Sometimes one man doesn't have everything you need.

Lewis has a brother, right?

Are you telling me that he doesn't have

some qualities that you wish Lewis had?

Well, sure.

I mean, he's a successful lawyer.

He's funny, athletic.

Has an incredible head of hair.

And Lord knows he loves to dance.

And...

You know what?

This isn't about me.

Okay, that's it, Amanda.

I've had it.

I'm sick of you calling me every ten

minutes.

Either you trust me or you don't.

And if you don't, for all I care,

you can just stay in Baltimore.

All right, not bad.

But when it's really Amanda, you need to

be more direct.

And don't forget the thing about you're the

man, she's the woman, and she's got to

do what you say.

Oh, I can't say that to Amanda.

Let me explain something to you about being

blind.

I can't see a punch coming.

Well, whatever you do, Jake, do it soon,

because she's calling me to check up on

you now.

I'm sorry, Rach.

Once, and I don't know how she did

this, but call waiting went off while I

was talking to her.

And it was her.

Hey, Becker, it's a call for you in

the phone booth.

Unless you're too afraid to come in here.

What are you chickening out of an MRI?

I did not chicken out.

Margaret told us everything.

Okay, I chickened out.

What are you afraid of?

All my life I've been stuffed into small

places.

Car trunk, closet, school lockers.

And not in a romantic way.

You have no idea what it's like being

in one of those things.

It's like they're taking an elephant's temperature with

me.

Nice image.

Apparently I have to try again this afternoon,

but this time I'm taking a Valium, a

really big one.

I'm gonna need someone to drive me.

Margaret's busy.

I don't trust Lennon.

I'd rather have Jake driving than Bob.

Reg, you're the only one left.

It's the prom all over again.

Okay, I'll take you.

Oh, thank you.

Actually, you can return the favor.

I've got dental surgery next week.

You can't just do something nice for me,

can you?

I have to do something for you as

payback.

I'm fine.

I'll have Margaret take you.

Becker, you're not in that apartment.

Well, you are, but you're not supposed to

be.

Oh, God, who lives in this dump?

This is your place.

Oh.

You're gonna be okay.

You know, I think for another hour I'm

gonna be as good as I've ever been.

Except I feel like I'm wearing a hat.

Becker, come on, let's sit down and relax.

Look at me.

Over this way.

Do you want me to make you, um,

some tea or some soup?

No, no, I'm fine.

But you know something?

Soup's a very funny word.

Say it.

Soup.

Soup.

Soup.

Are you gonna be okay here alone?

Oh, absolutely.

And you know something else?

I want to thank you, you know, for

driving me.

Oh, no problem.

I've never said this before, but, you know,

you've got really good tooth-to-gum ratio.

Excuse me?

You know, nice teeth, perfect amount of gum.

Oh.

Oh, well, thanks.

You know, another thing, you're a very good

friend.

I mean that.

That's very nice, if not really weird, to

hear you say that.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, I know what you're thinking.

That the yogurt place closes in five minutes?

No, no, you're thinking, why didn't I ever

ask you out?

Okay, I'll tell you why.

When I first met you, I thought to

myself, now here's somebody who's probably very interested

in me.

Oh, this ought to be good.

Why?

Why?

Well, I don't mean to brag, but, you

know, tall, handsome, Harvard, doctor.

Football.

Well, you know, manager.

It never would have worked out between us.

First of all, I'm not that great in

bed.

Way to sell yourself.

No, no, I've been told.

Well, you know, good enough, but not great.

And secondly, and I hope you don't mind

my saying this, you're a very attractive woman.

Thank you, Becker.

Yeah, you got a great face on your

head, and beautiful legs.

But you just can't get it together, honey.

You're a mess.

Okay, let's just stop being fun.

My God, Reg, you should have been out

of that diner long ago.

You ought to at least learn how to

cook.

No, no, no.

I mean, every time I'm in there, you

have a new idea of which way your

life should be going, but nothing ever changes.

You know, I could help you, Reg.

I could help you.

I could make a difference in your life.

See, I have such a clear view of

the world and the way it works, but

you always argue with me.

You're a woman meant to resist everything I

say.

Why, Reg?

Why?

You should listen to me.

Learn from me, you know.

Follow my lead.

Hey, I can't stay here and talk to

you.

I gotta get back to the office.

Oh, my God.

So, Jake, your phone hasn't rung all morning.

Did you lay down the law with Amanda?

Yep, I sure did.

I told Amanda to back off and give

me some space.

Good for you.

She must have really gotten the message.

Either that or...

You know what?

Never mind.

Or what?

Or your phone call really upset her, and

she's out busy getting revenge.

I mean, think about it.

She's in her hometown.

Maybe she looks up an old boyfriend.

They get a couple of drinks.

Next thing you know, they get in a

hotel room.

You know what, Jake?

I'm sorry.

Don't listen to me.

She could just as easily be with someone

new.

Rich, would you watch the newsstand for a

minute?

Sure.

Where are you going, Jake?

Baltimore.

Hi, Jake.

Hi, Jake.

Hey, guys.

I had the best idea for what we

could do tonight.

I thought we'd have an early dinner and

then...

We have to talk.

We really do.

That sounds serious.

It is serious.

We really like you.

A lot.

And I like you two, too.

But there's a problem.

You're coming between us.

We had our first fight.

It wasn't pretty.

It wasn't pretty.

I just said that.

And I just agreed.

See what you're doing to us?

You have to choose.

But why?

Don't you know what we have here?

Don't make this harder than it is.

What he said.

No.

I can't accept this.

Love is just too hard to find.

I mean, does what we have mean so

little to you?

I saw a future for us.

I imagine us in a church, me peeking

through my veil and seeing the two of

you standing there.

And then one day we'd have a nice

house in the suburbs with a three-car

garage and a porch with a swing and

another swing.

But if all of that means so little

to you, then clearly you're not half the

men that I thought you were.

Wow.

She dumped both of us.

Didn't see that coming.

Sure am glad we didn't sleep with her.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, hey, Becker.

Reg?

Coffee and Danish, please.

So, did you get the results from your

MRI?

Yeah.

Oh, no, everything's fine.

I don't need surgery.

Just a sprain.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, thank you for, uh, for driving me

yesterday.

No problem.

Yeah.

Listen, when I woke up this morning, I

was...

I mean, I didn't have any...

You didn't have any what?

Look, what I'm trying to say is did

I do anything last night that, you know,

if I knew about it, I could never

show my face in here ever again?

Gee, Becker, I really don't know what you're

talking about.

I dropped you off, we talked for a

few minutes, you went to bed, and then

I left.

Oh.

Oh, good.

Good, thank you.

Oh, by the way, Becker, nice ass.

Bye.