Original subtitles

[crowd cheering]

[Mad Dog over PA] Uh-uh. The Bombers' jammer makes her move.

Boom! Ow!

Boom! Ow!

Hope she's got a parachute.

She's out of there!

Folks, it's getting ugly.

Ow!

Ooh! Ow!

-Boom! -[screams]

Ow!

There's no nice way to put it.

The Wizard Kelly Bombers,

they are a total embarrassment.

All they do is add to this record breaking losing streak!

-Aw, man! -Aw, man, nothing!

I am loving this!

Wizard Kelly is finally a loser.

[laughing]

Hey, everybody.

Who's winning?

[speaking Spanish] Not me, cause I'm stuck here with you!

-[cackling] -[Suga Mama] Come on, Papi!

The Bombers are getting destroyed, Suga Mama.

Oh! Man, they stink like the cowboy.

Yep. [laughs]

They're the worst.

Oh! Could you do better, Oscar?

If I was a woman, heck, yeah.

[laughs]

-Boy... -[yelps]

...you wouldn't last a day against the Bombers.

And you wouldn't last a day without your pacemaker.

-[laughs] -You're right, son.

Let's see what kind of heart you've got.

[groans]

[crowing]

Just what I thought.

Chicken!

? The... Proud... Family... What? ?

? You and me will always be tight ?

? Family every day and every night ?

? Even when you start acting like a fool ?

? You know that I'm lovin' every single thing you do ?

? I know I can always be myself ?

? When I'm with you more than anybody else ?

? Every single day that I'm headed off to school ?

? You know there's no one I love as much as you ?

? The family, the family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll make you scream! ?

? They'll make you wanna sing! ?

? It's a family thing a family ?

? A proud, proud family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll push your buttons! ?

? They'll make you wanna hug 'em ?

? A family, family Proud, proud family ?

-? Proud, proud family ? -[Oscar screams]

[crowd cheering]

[Mad Dog over PA] And the beating continues...

I've never witnessed anything like this.

Oh, no!

[all shouting]

-It's raining Crushers! -[splatting]

I can see the other half of the Wizard's face,

and I'm telling ya, he isn't happy.

Final score is 56 to 3.

This is a joke!

Enough already! Be competitive.

I can't--

I've had enough of this abomination!

[speaking Spanish] I say that about your Mama everyday.

[cackles]

[announcer over TV] ...nobody is happy--

-[? music playing] -[all] We was watching that!

Come on. Roller Derby is for chumps.

You don't know what you're talking about, boy.

I know watching a bunch of out-of-shape old women

go around the track isn't exciting,

especially when they're losing.

Although I do enjoy seeing the Wizard cry on the sideline.

Okay, the Bombers are trash. I'll give you that.

But back in the day, the D.C. Freedom

was the greatest women's roller derby team

in the history of the sport.

Oh! How do you know that, Ma?

Because I, Suga Mama, was the best player on the team.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Yeah. [laughs]

We were young, tough and too good to be beaten.

Despite Roller Derby being a violent sport,

me and the D.C. Freedom were poetry in motion.

Zing, zing, zing!

[crowd chanting] Suga! Suga! Suga!

I was faster

and could skate better than anybody in the league.

I was the queen, baby!

Yeah. Playing with the D.C. Freedom was the greatest time in my life.

-[Mad Dog] This is a farce! -[all] Huh?

The final score is 56 to 3?

[hesitates] Uh... Attention, everybody.

The Wizard is not used to losing like Oscar Proud, y'all.

The Bombers need some help.

So tomorrow at the Wiz Dome

there will be an open team tryout.

-Ow! -[crowd booing]

Those double-As hurt, y'all.

You can clown me all you want, Wizard,

but you are a bona fide loser.

That's right. Capital L! Ha-ha!

[mockingly] Capital L, y'all! [guffawing]

You know he can't hear you, right?

-[Oscar Proud] I don't care. -[Wizard] Oh, contrary.

The Wizard hears everything, y'all.

Suga Mama, why don't you go and try out for the Bombers?

[speaking Spanish] Her strong chin could defend anybody...

And her breath would finish the job.

[cackles]

Oh, yeah, Ma, you should!

The Wiz Dome got the best nachos in town.

They probably feed the players for free.

I agree, Suga Mama.

Oh, y'all know I'm too old for that, kids.

You're too old for everything.

You're too old to be breathing.

But that's never stopped you.

You know what, Oscar?

You're right.

Doggone it. I'm gonna do it.

[all cheering]

That's right, Suga Mama!

Yeah! All right.

I'm not sure, Wizard.

I don't think this open tryout thing's gonna work.

Coach Murphy, what did the Wizard say?

I think the Wizard said, this was a bad idea.

But Wiz, this was your idea.

Never correct the Wizard in public.

What's wrong with you?

Unless you like unemployment, y'all.

Okay, you ladies, hit the rink.

Hey, you, Raider Nation, take off those shoulder pads

and wash your face before you get on my stinking rink.

[screaming, crashes]

[Suga Mama] Hold up now, Wizard Kelly!

[Wizard Kelly] Who called the Wizard's name?

[all gasping]

Suga Mama?

[exclaiming]

[whistle blows]

[screaming]

[Coach Murphy] What is she doing?

Uh...

[grunting]

-[grunts] -[groans]

[screams]

Ha-ha!

-[horn blaring] -[bell dinging]

Looking good, Proud.

Let's see what you and your line do out there

against the Bombers.

Bufferina and Zelda...

Come join me,

Sunset and Principal Hightower on the line.

You can call me Rhonda the Ripper, Suga Mama.

Now, let's bomb these Bombers.

You heard the lady!

Let's roll these busters.

[growling]

[growling]

[whistle blows]

Faster! Faster! Come on!

Suga Mama!

[shouting]

Yeah! [chuckles]

[screams]

-[horn blows] -[bell dinging]

Okay, I've seen enough.

But it's up to you, Wiz.

Ooh, Suga Mama. You on the team!

Nope.

This is a package deal.

You want me? You will have to pick up my girls, too.

Wizard.

[chuckles] It's only money. And I got plenty.

[cash register clinks]

Welcome to the Wizard Kelly Bombers, y'all.

[all cheering]

That's what I call, winning time!

No pun intended.

[Mad Dog over PA] Tonight is the debut

of the new Wizard Kelly Bombers.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Wow, she doesn't look new at all,

but the score is!

The Bombers win it.

And Suga Mama leads the way.

Okay, girls. On three! Line in.

[Mad Dog] The Bombers,

they're lining up for what looks like the whip move!

Look at that granny fly!

And the Bombers win.

Suga Mama scores 20 points and the the Bombers win again.

Folks, this is the most unbelievable turnaround

for a team I've ever seen.

We are witnessing history.

-[screams] -[crowd groans]

Ladies... Please step aside.

Ladies?

Okay, you future carhop waitresses,

move it or get served!

[gasping]

[Mad Dog] Who knows heck knows what that move was?

It's not in any book that I've seen.

But hey! Who cares?

The Bombers' streak continues.

[crowd chanting] Suga Mama! Suga Mama! Suga Mama!

Suga Mama! Suga Mama! Suga Mama! Suga Mama!

[Mad Dog] Can you believe this?

The Bombers win again.

[all cheering]

[crowd clapping]

Hi, everybody! Welcome to the Mad Dog Channel.

And lots going on here today.

We look forward to it, including our breakout story

of the Wizard Kelly Bombers.

That is Suga Mama.

You will enjoy this.

Just call me Suga Mama, baby.

Yes, sir!

-Okay. Here today is Suga Mama. -And you can call me Suga Daddy.

'Cause you know I pays for everything, y'all,

including your show.

[chuckles] You got that right. Good job there, Suga Daddy!

All right, everybody.

Here's some footage of Suga Mama earlier today

putting her hands and skate prints

in cement at the Wizard Kelly Chinese Theater.

All right, now, make sure you get my good side, baby.

[speaking Spanish] We'll be here all day!

[cackles]

[Mad Dog] There you have it, folks.

Suga Mama's the hottest thing in sports.

What the...

I never made the swimsuit audition.

That old woman should have never come back.

[groans]

But I'll fix this once and for all.

[Mad Dog] Suga Mama's having another stellar bout.

Listen to this final score,

Bombers 95 and Oakland three.

Oakland needs to change its name.

To what? Jokeland!

[whistle blows]

[Big Bone] Suga Mama!

[laughing]

[continues laughing]

Big Bone?

Bet you never thought you'd see me again,

did you, Suga?

[Mad Dog over PA] I know I didn't.

I don't believe my eyes, ladies and gentlemen.

This can't be happening.

[laughing] Listen up.

I'm Big Bone Broadnax,

the greatest player in the history of roller derby.

And this is my team, you heard? The D.C. Freedom.

And we're here to challenge the Bombers,

or should I say the Bummers.

[Mad Dog] Big Bone has challenged Suga Mama

in her own house!

Hold up! Hold up!

Before we take care of team business,

I challenge Suga to a loser-leaves-Emilyville match,

tomorrow night!

Right here in the Wiz Dome!

[Mad Dog] Oh, snap!

Big Bone just threw down the gauntlet

in Suga Mama's face!

-[crowd booing] -Shut up!

Shut your pie holes, you Emilyville hicks!

Nah! Nah!

Argh! Leave my Suga Mama alone!

[all gasping]

Okay, I see you pathetic losers have some guts.

But do you, Suga?

Are you gonna accept my challenge

or are you scared?

Boo-hoo-hoo.

[Mad Dog] I don't know about you,

ladies and gentlemen,

but I see fear in Suga Mama's eyes.

Well, I can't see the eyes, but I can see the fear.

Big Bone...

I accept.

[Mad Dog] Did I say fear?

No! It's guts!

Aw, sookie, sookie, now!

I ran you out of D.C.

and tomorrow night you better watch out

'cause I'm running you out of Emilyville

forever!

[crowd cheering] Suga! Mama! Suga! Mama!

Suga Mama! Suga Mama! Suga Mama! Suga Mama!

[sighs]

Don't worry, Suga Mama, you'll win.

You're the best player in the whole world.

[sighs]

We'll see.

Aw. What's wrong, Ma?

Come on, tell us.

I just want to know why that Big Bone

is lying about running you out of D.C., Mama.

Well, because it's true, son.

-Huh? -[gasping]

When Big Bone Broadnax joined the D.C. Freedom,

she wasn't very good.

Whoa...

[Suga Mama] She was out of shape, clumsy,

and the other girls teased and laughed at her.

Well, feeling sorry for her,

I took Big Bone under my wing and Bone worked hard.

I taught Big Bone everything that she knows

and that hard work that we put in together

turned Big Bone into the player that she is today.

-[grunting] -[groaning]

[crowd cheering]

But despite Big Bone becoming

one of the best players in the game,

she was jealous.

Jealous that I was still the best

and most popular player in the game.

Argh!

[Suga Mama] And after another D.C. Freedom victory,

-as the crowd chanted my name... -Suga! Suga! Suga! Suga!

[Suga Mama] Suga! Suga!

Big Bone lost her mind

and grabbed the mic from the in announcer.

-[mic feedback whines] -Give me that.

[all gasping]

Suga! Your time is up. My time is now.

You're an old bitty,

and I'm the future of this city.

D.C. is my town and so is the Freedom.

[all booing]

Oh, shut up and pay attention, you jabronis!

Suga, this town ain't big enough for the both of us,

so I'm challenging you

to a loser-leaves-town match tomorrow night!

You better be there!

Bring your luggage!

'Cause you going! You out! You leaving!

You ain't said nothing.

I accept your challenge!

[crowd cheering]

So the next night, Big Bone and I were ready to settle this.

[announcer] Roller Derby fans, it's one lap around the track,

no holds barred

and the winner is the one who breaks the ribbon

at the finish line. Or breaks the other one's back! Yeah!

-Go! -[whistle blows]

[Suga Mama] It was a battle for the ages.

A throw down in capital town.

We traded blows back and forth.

You can't catch me!

[Suga Mama] But in the end,

Big Bone was no match for the Queen!

The Queen!

When all of a sudden the wheels on my skates flew off!

Hoo! And before I knew it, big head Big Bone

got me with her famous piledriver,

which she stole from me, by the way.

And when she raised her arms in victory...

there was not a dry eye in the place.

Teammates was crying.

The other teams was crying.

Everybody was crying, there was water everywhere.

No one could believe

that I'd never skate again for the Freedom.

That piledriver that Bone gave me

and the humiliation,

even led me to not only leave D.C.

but to leave the sport, too.

I was defeated.

Years later,

I was told that Big Bone had someone tamper with my skates.

Ha!

But by then, I had settled down here in Emilyville,

taking care of my Bobby and that other one.

Huh?

And, uh,

it really didn't matter anymore.

[crying]

Suga Mama,

that's the saddest story I've ever heard.

Aw. But, Ma, if you lose,

you got to leave forever.

-[mic feedback whines] -What would I do?

You can get a job, Bobby,

and find a place to live like everybody else.

Oh, now, this ain't no time for jokes, baby bro.

Suga Mama, why even take the chance

of possibly having to leave your home again?

Because I've got to know for myself

who's the best, Trudy.

Would I have won

if everything was fair and square?

I need to know that.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow, Suga Mama.

But win, lose or draw we know who's really the best.

Oh! Thank you, baby. Suga Mama love you, too.

[crowd cheering]

[snickers softly]

[Mad Dog] Ladies and gentlemen,

what we've all been waiting for.

It is time now for the Big one, The Grudge Match!

[crowd cheering] Suga! Mama! Suga! Mama! Suga! Mama!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. I hear you.

Enjoy those backwater geeks' cheers, Suga,

while you can.

They'll be the last you'll ever hear in this city!

We'll see, Bone. We'll see.

[laughs] Yeah, you'll see!

When you say goodbye to Emilyville, old lady. See ya!

[Mad Dog] Let's give it up for the man

who pays all the bills, Wizard Kelly!

All right, everybody, listen up.

Here's a pair of brand new roller skates

for each competitor, y'all!

[chuckles]

All right, Roller Derby fans...

It's one lap around the track,

no holds barred,

and the winner is the one

who breaks the ribbon at the finish line, y'all.

Hmm.

You've been out of the game for a long time.

Things change. Unlike your face.

Just remember, Bone.

I taught you everything you know.

Not everything I know.

[all cheering]

[gasps]

[Wizard Kelly] Suga Mama.

Big Bone.

Let's get it on, y'all.

-[whistle blows] -[crowd cheering]

[grunting]

Mm?

[grunting]

-[crowd gasps] -[shouts]

[laughing]

[grunting]

[crowd gasps]

-[gasping] -[shrieks]

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice--

[cackles]

[chuckles] It ain't gonna happen, Bone!

[yelps]

[crowd gasps]

[gasps and pants]

Here's something I never taught you, Bone.

My Moon-Shot elbow!

[Big Bone shouting]

[shouting continues]

[Wizard Kelly over PA] And the winner...

is Suga Mama Proud, y'all!

That elbow was tight!

[crowd chanting] Suga! Mama!

Aw, thank you everybody, thank you!

[crowd chanting] Suga! Mama! Suga! Mama!

Oh, Suga Mama, that was amazing!

We're so proud of you, Suga Mama.

You really put that big bully into orbit, Mama.

Yeah, you gotta teach me that elbow shot one day, Suga Mama.

Oh, I love you, Family.

[crowd cheering]

[knocking at door]

[Suga Mama] Good afternoon, Big Bone.

Looking good, girl. How you feeling?

Mmm-hmm.

Okay, Suga, you don't have to rub it in.

I promise.

-As soon as I heal up... -[bones crack]

[groans]

I'm out of your-- oof.

Oh, come on, now. You don't have to leave.

What?

But I lost.

No, no, no, no. We lost...

the meaning of what's important.

That we were once sisters.

Instead of fighting, we should have been there for each other.

Uh...

I'm sorry for being so jealous of you.

Especially of you making the cover

of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.

I mean, I just lost it.

But you were right.

You taught me everything I know.

Apology accepted.

But I did teach you one more lesson. [chuckles]

Oh, yeah. What's that?

How to survive in orbit?

[both laugh]

That, too.

And that you can teach an old dog...

new tricks.

[both laughing]

[? theme music playing]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0