Original subtitles

* *

* *

>> Announcer: FROM THE MOST TRUSTED JOURNALISTS AT

COMEDY CENTRAL... IT'S AMERICA'S ONLY SOURCE FOR

NEWS. THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH

YOUR HOST, JORDAN KLEPPER! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

* [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW!"

I'M JORDAN KLEPPER. WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT

TONIGHT. TRUMP VISITS MICHIGAN TO GROPE

SOME CARS, THE ONE IMPORT THAT'S NOT AFFECTED BY TARIFFS IS

COCAINE, AND CANADIANS ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT A NEW BRIDGE.

SORRY, "ABOOT" A NEW BRIDGE. SO LET'S GET INTO HEADLINES!

* [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

LET'S START IN MY HOME STATE OF MICHIGAN, WHICH IS OJIBWE FOR

"WE'RE SAVING UP TO MOVE TO CHICAGO."

YESTERDAY, PRESIDENT TRUMP VISITED A GM AUTO FACILITY,

WHERE HE KIM JONG UN'D HIS WAY DOWN THE DISPLAY FLOOR, CHECKED

TO SEE IF A CAR WAS CAKE, AND APPARENTLY GOT TRICKED INTO

SIGNING A LEASE. "DONNY, DON'T GET THAT

RUST PROOFING! IT'S A SCAM!

TRUST ME." BY THE WAY, I KNOW WE ALWAYS

RAG ON TRUMP FOR BEING WEIRD, BUT KNOCKING ON THE CAR HOOD IS

PROBABLY THE MOST NORMAL THING HE'S EVER DONE.

THERE IS NOT A DAD IN THE WORLD WHO CAN WALK PAST A NEW CAR

WITHOUT RAPPING ON THE HOOD TO CHECK THAT BUILD QUALITY.

"YEAH, THAT'S A CAR." YOU KNOW WHAT?

AT LEAST THIS TOUR WENT A LOT BETTER THAN THE LAST TIME TRUMP

VISITED A CAR FACILITY IN MICHIGAN BACK IN JANUARY, WHICH

IF YOU REMEMBER, WENT LIKE THIS.

>> AS THE PRESIDENT TOURED A FORD MANUFACTURING FACTORY, THIS

MOMENT CAUGHT ON CAMERA IN VIDEO OBTAINED BY TMZ.

ONE MAN SHOUTING AT THE PRESIDENT, "PEDOPHILE

PROTECTOR."

>> Jordan: WOW, SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE OFFICE.

THAT'S PRESIDENT PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR.

[APPLAUSE] RESPECT.

COME ON, MICHIGANDER. IT WAS AN EMBARRASSING EVENT FOR

ALL INVOLVED. LUCKILY THIS TIME, TRUMP MADE IT

THROUGH HIS WHOLE TOUR WITHOUT A HITCH, AND HE WAS ABLE TO MOVE

ON TO HIS SPEECH.

>> THE TRADE DEFICIT IN AUTOMOBILES WAS MORE THAN

$300 BILLION ANNUALLY. THAT MEANS OUTSIDE COUNTRIES AND

COMPANIES WERE COMING IN AND JUST ROBBING US BLIND.

AND IT WAS CAUSING TREMENDOUS PROBLEMS FOR YOUR JOBS.

>> PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR! PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR!

>> Jordan: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

IS IT THE SAME GUY? IS IT SOMETHING IN THE WATER?

IS IT BECAUSE TRUMP WITHHELD MILLIONS OF EPSTEIN FILES AND

PEOPLE ARE FURIOUS THAT NO ONE HAS BEEN HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR

IT? WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

BUT COME ON, DONALD, THIS WILL NOT STAND.

HIT HIM WITH A COMEBACK.

>> HE'S A COMMUNIST. HE'S A COMMUNIST.

>> Jordan: OH. IF YOU'RE WONDERING, COMMUNIST

IS THE OPPOSITE OF PEDOPHILE. WE ALL REMEMBER WATCHING

KARL MARX HOSTING "TO CATCH A PREDATOR."

SO I MEAN, MAYBE THIS IS THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM NOW?

LIKE, "I'M A STRAIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE TYPE OF GUY.

FISCALLY COMMUNIST, SOCIALLY PEDOPHILE."

BUT MY FELLOW MICHIGANDERS, PLEASE STOP SHOUTING CRAZY SHIT

AT DONALD TRUMP! HE WAS ELECTED TO SHOUT

CRAZY SHIT AT US. CONTINUE.

>> FOR YEARS YOU WATCH COMPANIES MOVE PRODUCTION FROM AMERICA

DOWN TO "MEHEHO." [LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: I'M SORRY, DOWN TO WHERE?

>> "MEHEHO."

>> Jordan: OH, HE'S SAYING IT THAT WAY ON PURPOSE.

NEXT QUESTION: WHY?

>> THERE'S A VERY NICE PRESIDENT OF MEXICO.

YOU KNOW THAT. VERY NICE AND SHE SPEAKS

BEAUTIFULLY AND SHE CALLS IT "MEHEHO."

>> Jordan: PLEASE MEET WITH CHINA NEXT WEEK, PLEASE MEET

WITH CHINA NEXT WEEK, PLEASE MEET WITH CHINA NEXT WEEK, OH...

AND WHILE TRUMP IS RANTING ABOUT "MEHEHO," JUST DOWN THE ROAD,

THEY'RE OPENING A NEW INTERNATIONAL TRADE ROUTE

BETWEEN THE U.S. AND CANADA. OR AS DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT,

CA-NA-HA. IT'S CALLED THE GORDIE HOWE

INTERNATIONAL BRIDGE. IT CONNECTS MICHIGAN AND ONTARIO

IN A SYMBOLIC, UNIFYING MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES.

>> TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS UNIFYING MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO

COUNTRIES, BUT INSTEAD IT'S SORT OF DRIPPING WITH A STAIN.

AND THAT'S BECAUSE AT THE 11TH HOUR, TRUMP IMPOSED THIS 50%

TARIFF. THEY WERE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO

HAVE A JOINT RIBBON CUTTING BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES.

INSTEAD, CANADA HOSTED THEIR OWN WITHOUT A SINGLE U.S. ELECTED

OFFICIAL IN SIGHT.

>> Jordan: IT'S SO HEARTBREAKING TO SEE MOM AND DAD FIGHTING LIKE

THIS. AND TO THE BRIDGE, IT'S NOT YOUR

FAULT. THINK OF IT THIS WAY, LITTLE

GORDIE. YOU GET TO HAVE TWO CHRISTMASES

BUT EVEN IF TRUMP ISN'T EXCITED FOR THIS BRIDGE, MICHIGANDERS

ARE! AND THAT'S WHY MICHIGAN'S

LOCAL NEWS OFFERED RUDIMENTARY BRIDGE-DRIVING TIPS.

AND I MEAN VERY RUDIMENTARY.

>> MSP PUSHED OUT AN IMPORTANT WARNING FOR ANYONE WHO PLANS TO

USE THE NEW BRIDGE. FIRST, CHECK THIS OUT, DON'T

STOP ON THE BRIDGE OR EXIT YOUR VEHICLE.

>> Jordan: GREAT TIP! LET ME WRITE THIS ONE DOWN...

"STAY IN CAR WHILE DRIVING..." GREAT, AWESOME.

THANK YOU, ANDRE 1000. APPRECIATE IT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE ADVANCED TIPS FOR BRIDGE DRIVING?

>> FOLLOW ALL POSTED TRAFFIC SIGNS AND MESSAGE BOARDS.

OBEY POSTED SPEED LIMITS. DRIVE FOR THE CURRENT TRAFFIC

CONDITIONS. STAY FOCUSED ON THE ROAD AND PUT

AWAY ANY DISTRACTIONS. BUCKLE UP EVERY TIME, EVERY

TRIP.

>> Jordan: BUCKLE MY SEATBELT? THAT'S NOT EVEN BRIDGE-SPECIFIC

THIS IS JUST A DRIVER'S ED CLASS.

WHY AM I EVEN TAKING DRIVING TIPS FROM A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE

HE ONLY TRAVELS BY HOT AIR BALLOON?

WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THIS IS THE FIRST BRIDGE MICHIGAN HAS

EVER SEEN? STOP TREATING US LIKE WE'RE

STUPID. WE'RE NOT OHIO!

[AUDIENCE REACTS] BUT LET'S MOVE ON, BECAUSE TRUMP

ISN'T JUST BEEFING WITH CANADA. HE'S ALSO BEEFING WITH THE

ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD. HE'S LOSING HIS WAR WITH IRAN,

HE'S LOSING HIS WAR WITH YEMEN, HE'S SOMEHOW LOSING UKRAINE'S

WAR WITH RUSSIA, AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S EVEN LOSING HIS

WAR ON DRUGS.

>> AFTER BOMBING DOZENS OF BOATS AND HUNDREDS OF DEATHS, A DEA

ASSESSMENT REPORTEDLY SHOWS OPERATION SOUTHERN SPEAR, WHICH

STARTED IN SEPTEMBER, HAS NOT REDUCED THE AMOUNT OR EVEN THE

PURITY OF COCAINE FLOWING INTO THIS COUNTRY BY SEA.

>> Jordan: HELL YEAH! LET'S [BLEEP] GO!

WHOO! I MEAN...

ANOTHER POLICY FAILURE FROM THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

YES, SOMEHOW THE COCAINE IN AMERICA IS NOT ONLY STILL

PLENTIFUL, BUT ACCORDING TO DEA OFFICIALS AND MY STOCKBROKER

CODY, IT'S THAT GOOD SHIT. I'M CONFUSED.

HOW HAS THE TACTIC OF BLOWING UP RANDOM FISHING BOATS NOT STOPPED

ALL DRUG TRAFFIC?

>> THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION'S STRIKES ON ALLEGED NARCO

TERRORISTS HAVE ONLY ENCOURAGED DRUG LORDS TO FIND NEW WAYS TO

BRING NARCOTICS INTO THE UNITED STATES.

>> Jordan: YEAH, OF COURSE DRUG LORDS FOUND NEW WAYS.

THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO FOUND A WAY TO SNEAK IN A POWDER

USING YOUR BUTT. THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD AT PROBLEM

SOLVING. THEY PROBABLY ALL GOT IN A ROOM

AND WERE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, IF WE'RE GOING TO CRACK THIS

DRUG SMUGGLING NUT, WE GOT TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER.

BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT?

ANY IDEAS? ANYBODY?

ANYBODY? CODY, YOU?"

BUT EVEN AS DONALD TRUMP FAILS TO CONTAIN THE EVER INCREASING

AND WIDENING WARS AROUND HIM, HIS MAGA FOLLOWERS STILL

STUBBORNLY THINK OF HIM AS A "PEACE PRESIDENT."

IT'S A DEVOTION I DISCOVERED RECENTLY.

* *

>> LAST FALL, I MADE A SPECIAL ABOUT TRUMP'S OBSESSION WITH THE

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. IN HINDSIGHT, I REALLY SHOULDN'T

HAVE BEEN SURPRISED WHEN EVERY MAGA SUPPORTER ASSUMED HE HAD IT

IN THE BAG.

>> WAS DONALD TRUMP THE PEACE PRESIDENT?

>> I WOULD SAY HE'S BETTER THAN THE OTHERS.

>> HOW HAS DONALD TRUMP DONE IN TERMS OF ENDING WARS?

>> DEFINITELY MAKING IT WHERE THERE WILL NOT BE MORE IN THE

FUTURE.

>> Jordan: NOT STARTING NEW WARS.

THE GREENLAND WAR IS DONE. NOT HAPPENING ANYMORE.

RIGHT? I THINK WE HAVE DONALD TRUMP TO

THANK FOR THAT WAR.

>> FOR SURE.

>> Jordan: AND FOR ENDING THAT WAR.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT TRUMP THAT SCREAMS TO YOU PEACE?

>> BOMBING ALL THE NARCO TERRORISTS.

IT IS BRINGING PEACE IN AMERICA.

>> Jordan: THE ACTIONS WE ARE TAKING ARE OUTSIDE THE JUDICIAL

SYSTEM?

>> ISN'T IT OPEN BORDERS?

>> Jordan: MAYBE IT'S EXTRAJUDICIAL.

>> I THINK THEY ARE GIVING THEM ENOUGH DUE PROCESS.

>> Jordan: TRUMP HADN'T YET INVADED VENEZUELA OR STARTED A

WAR WITH IRAN BUT HE HAD DEPLOYED SWATHES OF I.C.E.

AGENTS TO AMERICAN CITIES. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THOSE

IMAGES?

>> I THINK IT NEEDED TO BE DONE A LONG TIME AGO.

>> Jordan: WHY IS THAT?

>> BECAUSE THIS PLACE IS HORRIBLE.

>> Jordan: WHO IS CAUSING THE CRIMES?

>> UNFORTUNATELY, THE AFRICAN AMERICAN DEMOGRAPHIC.

>> Jordan: WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS INTEL THAT IT IS

BLACK AMERICANS?

>> BEFORE IT CAME TO OLE MISS, I WAS LOOKING AT GOING TO THE

UNIVERSITY OF OREGON.

>> Jordan: EUGENE, OREGON, DID NOT FEEL SAFE?

I SAY THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, ARE YOU JUST A PUSSY?

LOOKING BACK, IT WAS OBVIOUS THE MAGA CROWD WAS AFRAID OF LIBERAL

CITIES FOR ONE SIMPLE REASONS.

>> ANTIFA THUGS.

>> DOMESTIC TERROR GROUPS ANTIFA.

>> ANTIFA!

>> Jordan: WHEN I WENT TO PORTLAND OREGON TO MEET WITH

THESE ANTIFA TERRORISTS, I FOUND...

>> WHERE SHOULD I LOOK?

>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

>> Jordan: I HAD TO ASK, ARE YOU AN ANTIFA COP?

>> I'M NOT AN ANTIFA COP.

>> Jordan: HAVE YOU SEEN ANY ANTIFA THUGS?

>> HAVE NOT SEEN ANY.

>> Jordan: THAT IS WHAT AN ANTIFA THUG WOULD SAY?

TURNS OUT THIS WAS A NAKED PROTEST AGAINST TRUMP

IMMIGRATION CRACKDOWN AND JOINING THE LEFTY.

AS SOMEONE WHO WAS AN EARLY ADOPTER TO CHICKEN COSTUMES,

WHAT OTHER COSPLAY ARE YOU IMPRESSED BY?

>> THE TOAD AND THE FROG.

>> Jordan: GOING TO GIVE ME AN ANTIFA HUG?

>> I THINK THAT ONE HAS CAUGHT ON IN A WAY THAT IS REALLY

SUSTAINABLE.

>> Jordan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

>> WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW INTENTIONAL EVERYTHING WAS WITH

THAT OR WITH THIS BUT FROGS WORK SO WELL AS AN ANALOGY RIGHT NOW.

FROGS IN BOILING WATER. THAT IS WHAT WE ARE AS AMERICA

IN THIS MOMENT. FASCISM IS HAPPENING.

IT IS NOT COMING IT IS HERE. A LOT OF US HAVE JUST BEEN

IGNORING IT AS THE TEMPERATURE GETS TURNED UP.

>> Jordan: DO YOU THINK THE FROG UNDERSTOOD SYMBOLISM OR

JUST GOT SUPER STONED AND SAID I'M WEARING THIS?

>> CAN BE BOTH.

>> Jordan: PAY ATTENTION, AMERICA BECAUSE LAST FALL, IT

WAS PORTLAND, OREGON. THIS SPRING, IT WAS PORTLAND,

MAINE, AND NOW I'M GUESSING, PORTLAND, CONNECTICUT, IS ABOUT

TO GET [BLEEP]. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WHEN WE COME BACK, LEWIS BLACK FINDS OUT WHO'S

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME BACK TO "THE DAILY SHOW."

WHEN A NEWS STORY FALLS THROUGH THE CRACKS, LEWIS BLACK CATCHES

IT FOR A SEGMENT WE CALL "BACK IN BLACK."

* [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOU LOVE BEING WATCHED.

WHETHER IT'S GETTING CHANGED IN FRONT OF AN OPEN WINDOW,

CUTTING MY TOENAILS ON TWITCH, OR SLURPING LO MEIN ON THE GRAM.

BUT WHILE A LITTLE TASTEFUL VOUYERISM REVS MY ENGINE, THESE

DAYS, BEING WATCHED HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL.

>> THERE ARE 85 MILLION SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS NOW ACROSS

THE COUNTRY.

>> TENS OF THOUSANDS OF CAMERAS TRACKING CARS, INCLUDING YOURS.

>> NEARLY 80% OF AMERICANS OWN SOME SORT OF HOME SECURITY

CAMERA, INCLUDING TENS OF MILLIONS OF RING CAMERAS.

>> EVERYWHERE, FROM HOTELS AND RENTAL HOMES, TO CRUISE SHIP AND

AIRPLANE BATHROOMS.

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING? I'VE NEVER SAT NEXT TO AN

AIRPLANE BATHROOM AND THOUGHT, "OOH, I REALLY NEED TO SEE

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE!" SO, LIKE IT OR NOT, WE'RE NOW

BEING RECORDED EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.

IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD, I CAN'T EVEN BURY A DOG IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD

WITHOUT THEM SENDING THE VIDEO TO THE POLICE.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, CREEPS! BUT THIS GOES BEYOND

RING CAMERAS AND LICENSE PLATE READERS.

NOW WE'VE MANAGED TO MAKE SURVEILLANCE FUN AND TRENDY!

>> KYLIE JENNER HAS PARTNERED WITH META TO LAUNCH A NEW LINE

OF SMART GLASSES AIMED AT FASHION FORWARD CONSUMERS.

THE NEW SLEEK DESIGN COMBINES AI FEATURES WITH A BUILT IN CAMERA

THAT CAPTURES PHOTOS AND VIDEOS.

>> YOU GO, KYLIE JENNER! COLLECTING DATA AND

SERVING [BLEEP]! FINALLY, A PAIR OF GLASSES FOR

FASHION FORWARD PERVERTS. IT'S TIME TO RISE OUT OF THE

BUSHES AND JERK OFF ON THE RUNWAY!

YOU'VE EARNED IT, QUEENS! BUT OF COURSE, IN REAL LIFE,

MODELS AREN'T THE ONES WEARING THESE GLASSES.

IT'S CREEPS LIKE THIS:

>> A GROWING NUMBER OF WOMEN ARE FINDING IMAGES OF THEMSELVES

POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT THEY SAY WERE TAKEN WITHOUT THEIR

KNOWLEDGE.

>> PEOPLE APPROACHING OTHER PEOPLE ON THE STREET.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND OF CUTE.

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

>> IT WAS JUST JARRING TO KNOW THAT I WAS SPEAKING TO SOMEBODY,

LOOKING THEM IN THE EYES, AND HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE RECORDING

ME.

>> THE MAN WHO POSTED THE VIDEO IS A CONTENT CREATOR FROM

LONG ISLAND WHO CALLS HIMSELF JOHNNY JESTERMAXX.

>> WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN TRUST A GUY

NAMED JOHNNY JESTERMAXX? NEXT YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME I

CAN'T TRUST MY PAL MARCUS MOLESTERMAXX.

COME ON! WE'VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE

"THE ODYSSEY" NEXT WEEK! AND HE'S A WHIZ WITH THAT

POPCORN TRICK. [LAUGHS]

"CHECK IT OUT, FAM! I'M THE JIMOTHY OF

CREEPING OUT WOMEN!" BUT IT'S NOT JUST STRANGERS ON

THE STREET. WE'RE EVEN STALKING OUR OWN

FAMILIES.

>> MANY OF THESE YOUNG ADULTS ARE ALSO TRACKING THEIR PARENTS.

>> TEENS CHECK THEIR FAMILY'S LOCATION MORE THAN ADULTS.

>> SOME WILL TEXT THE PARENTS WHEN THEY SEE THEY ARE STOPPING

FOR STARBUCKS AND SAY, "HEY, GRAB ME A FRAPPUCCINO TOO," OR

SOME ARE PULLING UP TO DATE NIGHT TO JOIN THEIR PARENTS OUT

FOR DINNER.

>> THIS IS CALLED FAMBUSHING.

>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS FAMBUSHING?

THERE IS NOTHING HEARTWARMING ABOUT KIDS SHOWING UP TO

[BLEEP]BLOCK THEIR PARENTS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LEAVE THEM

ALONE! THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO BONE ONE

MORE TIME BEFORE THE DIVORCE PAPERS ARE SIGNED!

THIS SHIT WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN OKAY WHEN I WAS A KID.

IF I DID THIS TO MY PARENTS, THEY WOULD'VE LOCKED UP MY

OVALTINE! AND NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE,

[BLEEP] WITH MY OVALTINE! [APPLAUSE]

SO AT THIS POINT, OUR PRIVACY IS ESSENTIALLY DEAD.

BUT THAT WON'T STOP SOME PEOPLE FROM FIGHTING BACK.

>> THESE ARE ALL EXAMPLES OF WHAT'S CALLED ADVERSARIAL

FASHION. CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES

DESIGNED TO TRICK FACIAL RECOGNITION SOFTWARE INTO

MISLABELING A PERSON INTO SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE A

GIRAFFE OR A ZEBRA.

>> OH, JESUS CHRIST, NO! I AM NOT WEARING THAT!

I'D RATHER YOU JUST STICK A CAMERA UP MY ASS THAN WALK

AROUND LOOKING LIKE BOB MARLEY [BLEEP] A RORSCHACH TEST.

IMAGINE WEARING A SHIRT SO UGLY, EVEN AI IS LIKE, "NAH, I DON'T

KNOW THAT PERSON." BUT LOOK, IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS

IS A LOSING BATTLE. SO IF I'M GOING TO GIVE MY LAST

SHREDS OF PRIVACY AWAY, I MIGHT AS WELL LOOK GOOD DOING

IT. UNBELIEVABLE.

I AM NOW [BLEEP] BLIND. JORDAN?

>> Jordan: LEWIS BLACK, EVERYONE!

WHEN WE COME BACK, JEFF HILLER WILL BE JOINING ME ON THE SHOW.

DON'T GO AWAY! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME BACK TO "THE DAILY SHOW."

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY-WINNING ACTOR WHO'S

CURRENTLY NOMINATED FOR OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN THE

APPLE TV SERIES "PLURIBUS."

>> NO OFFENSE, LARRY, BUT I THINK YOU ARE BULLSHITING ME.

>> OH, BUT WE HAVE. GOSH, IN THE FIRST NOVEL, WE

GREATLY ADMIRE THE DESCRIPTION ON PAGE 2.

THE LAST SUMMER THREADS OF THE FINEST SILK, SHIMMERING LIKE

SPUN GOLD AS IF THE SUN ITSELF WERE SHOWERING WITH RESPLENDENT

KISSES. [LAUGHS]

THAT MADE QUITE A FEW OF US TINGLE.

>> Jordan: PLEASE WELCOME JEFF HILLER!

* [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I GOT TO TELL YOU, IT IS SO NICE TO HAVE A FELLOW TALL PERSON OUT

HERE.

>> I KNOW.

>> Jordan: HOLLYWOOD IS SO SHORT.

>> [LAUGHS] I KNOW.

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I AM STANDING NEXT TO SOMEONE AND I AM ABOUT

TO TAKE THEM UP THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

SO SHOCKINGLY TALL.

>> Jordan: JON STEWART ALWAYS LOOKS AT ME WITH THOSE EYES.

"WILL YOU PUT ME ON YOUR SHOULDERS" I AM LIKE, NO, YOU

JUST HAVE TO GROW UP A LITTLE BIT.

>> I ALWAYS SAY YES.

>> Jordan: YOU ARE SO KIND, ALL OF THE ACTORS THAT HAVE BEEN

ON YOUR SHOULDERS THAT YOU JUST CARRY.

>> WEE! [LAUGHS]

>> Jordan: YOU WERE HERE, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY

NOMINATION. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> AND YOU.

>> Jordan: YOU DO IT FOR THE GNOMES.

>> THAT IS THE ONLY REASON I DO IT.

>> IT'S BEEN A REALLY DRY 25 YEARS BUT THE LAST TWO, YEAH

COME A BABY!

>> Jordan: YOU HAVE TWO HOES. NOT ONLY ON "PLURIBUS,"

EMMY-NOMINATED, ALSO ON "WIDOW'S BAY."

>> IT IS A GOOD SHOW. AND YOU WON AN EMMY LAST YEAR

FOR "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE."

>> I AM AMAZING! [LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: I'M CURIOUS NOW ON THE STREET WHEN PEOPLE SAY, HEY,

ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM -- WHAT DO THEY SAY?

>> IF THEY ARE HOLDING THEIR HEART IT IS "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE"

AND IF THEY ARE LIKE, "ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM"?

IT IS "AMERICAN HORROR STORY." A LOT LADY.

EVEN THE LADY AT NORDSTROM RACK THEY ARE LIKE "I LIKE

"WIDOW'S BAY." I LIKE WHEN HE SCREAMED IN

"WIDOW'S BAY."

>> Jordan: YOU THINK THE NORDSTROM RACK FOLKS ARE REALLY

"WIDOW'S BAY" PEOPLE. IS THAT MORE "PLURIBUS"?

>> I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO BERGDORF.

>> Jordan: I SAID BERGDORF, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING

ABOUT. IT'S A COMEDIC NAME OF A

DEPARTMENT STORE.

>> IT IS A DEPARTMENT STORE, RIGHT?

THERE IS PROBABLY "PLURIBUS" FOLK IN THERE.

"WHEN I SHOP AT BERGDORF, EVERYONE NOTICES ME FOR

"PLURIBUS." [LAUGHTER]

WE CAN EDIT THAT IN.

>> Jordan: THAT IS IN THERE. SO "PLURIBUS," YOU ARE SO FUNNY

IN "PLURIBUS." [LAUGHTER]

>> IT IS A DRAMA.

>> Jordan: YOU SHOW UP AND I LAUGH.

AND THAT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH THE COSTUME CHOICE.

CAN WE SEE A PICTURE OF WHAT JEFF WAS WEARING IN "PLURIBUS"?

SO THEY PUT YOU IN -- [LAUGHTER]

>> LOOK AT MY FACE. I AM LIKE "WHAT HAPPENED"?

>> Jordan: WHEN DO THEY SWING AN OUTFIT LIKE YOU?

>> THIS IS A VERY SECRET SHOW. I DIDN'T KNOW THE CONCEPT WHEN I

AUDITIONED AND I SHOWED UP TO THE FITTING I STILL DON'T KNOW

THE CONCEPT COME AND THEY ARE LIKE "PUT ON THIS BICYCLE

OUTFIT." AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT IS THIS

SHOW? JUST THE SLIGHTEST MOMENT WHERE

I WAS LIKE, AM I IN PORN? [LAUGHTER]

AND THEN VINCE GILLIGAN WAS LIKE, WELL, THE HIVE MIND, THEY

DON'T HAVE PRIDE OF PERSONAL APPEARANCE AND I WAS LIKE, BUT I

DO! [LAUGHTER]

AS AN ACTOR!

>> Jordan: THERE IS VANITY HERE.

>> THEY DID LET ME WEAR MY SHAPEWEAR UNDERNEATH.

>> Jordan: SO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA LAYER.

>> YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THE WHALEBONES.

>> Jordan: KEEPS IT TIGHT. "PLURIBUS" IS SUCH A FASCINATING

SHOW AND YOU PLAY A CHARACTER WHO IS ALSO PART OF THE LARGER

HIVE MIND BUT IT ALMOST SEEMS LIKE, AS YOU WATCH IT, ALMOST AS

IF YOU ARE PLAYING ChatGPT. YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE.

HAVE YOU HEARD THIS?

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID YOU ARE JUST LIKE ChatGPT.

>> Jordan: IS THAT A REFERENCE POINT YOU DIDN'T KNOW GOING INTO

IT OR EVEN IN YOUR PERFORMANCE OR IS THAT TALKED ABOUT WITH

VINCE GILLIGAN BEFOREHAND?

>> NO. IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED BEFORE IT

CAME OUT. WE SHOT THIS KIND OF A LONG TIME

AGO, KIND OF BEFORE ChatGPT WAS UBIQUITOUS.

SO I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY EXTREME LOVE FOR HER AND INSTEAD, I DID

ChatGPT. [LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: SO THAT --

>> ANYWAY, GODDESS EMMY NOMINATION FOR IT.

>> Jordan: THERE YOU GO!

>> [LAUGHS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: IF THAT IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO, CONGRATULATIONS.

>> SOMETIMES YOU AIM FOR ONE TARGET, YOU HIT ANOTHER PERIODS

B WHEN YOU ARE ON SCREEN FOR BASICALLY 7 MINUTES AND YOU PULL

AN EMMY NOMINATION.

ARE YOU LIKE THE JANE -- DAME JUDI DENCH?

JANE --

>> JANE DENCH.

>> Jordan: YOU ARE THE JANE DENCH OF THE EMMYS THIS YEAR.

>> EXACTLY. JANE DENCH, THE WOMAN THAT YOU

SAY, WHO?

>> Jordan: THE WOMAN FROM THAT THING?

SHE WON AN OSCAR FOR 8 MINUTES ON SCREEN.

>> "SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE." SHE WAS DRESSED UP LIKE QUEEN

ELIZABETH BUT I WORE BICYCLE THING SO I AM JUDI DENCH.

>> Jordan: "WIDOW'S BAY," I LOVE "WIDOW'S BAY."

IT HAS SUCH AN INTERESTING TONE TO IT.

SCARY, FUNNY, ALL SORTS OF THINGS AND THE CREATOR, KATIE

DIPPOLD, IS A UCB PERSON FROM THE COMMUNITY, WHO YOU DID

IMPROV WITH BACK IN THE DAY. I'M CURIOUS IF THERE IS IMPROV

ON THE SET OR IF IT IS JUST A PARLOR TRICK.

>> WE WASTED OUR LIVES.

>> Jordan: SO MUCH TIME.

>> THERE IS A LITTLE BIT. THERE IS USUALLY A LITTLE

IMPROVISING DURING THEIR REHEARSAL AND THEY SAY, YOU

CAN'T DO THAT. FOR THE MOST PART, IT IS AN

INCREDIBLY DISRUPTIVE THING. LIKE YOU SAID, THE TONE IS SO

STRANGE THAT WE HAVE TO BE WORKING REALLY HARD ON IT.

>> Jordan: "PLURIBUS" AND "WIDOW'S BAY," THOSE ARE DARK

SHOWS.

>> [LAUGHS] YES.

A CLOWN KILLER AND A DARK SHOW.

>> Jordan: A LITTLE CLOWN KILLER.

[LAUGHTER] "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE" IS SUCH A

LIFE AFFIRMING, A HEARTWARMING SHOW.

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS TO LIVE IN. WHAT DO YOU PREFER?

SPEAK OF WHICHEVER ONE HAS THE BIGGEST CHECK, BABY!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> [LAUGHS] CAPITALISM!

OBVIOUSLY, "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE," WAS MY HEART.

BUT I LOVE BEING IN "WIDOW'S BAY."

BECAUSE IT IS SO TONALLY ODD AND STRANGE BEARD BASICALLY, I JUST.

SO WHATEVER IS GOOD WITH ME.

>> Jordan: IS THERE ANY TALK ABOUT SEASON 2?

>> IT IS GOING TO BE. THEY DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING.

>> Jordan: YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT?

>> I GOT LOOSE LIPS. [LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: SEE YOU OVER AT BERGDORF TELLING EVERYBODY

BEARD. [LAUGHTER]

>> IF YOU LIKE "PLURIBUS," YOU WILL LIKE THIS.

>> Jordan: I WANT TO KNOW, YOUR EMMY SPEECH HAD PEOPLE IN

TEARS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THIS

YEAR WHEN YOU WIN?

>> I'M NOT GOING TO WIN. [LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: YOU ARE GOING TO WIN, JEFF.

>> WELL, I WILL SAY, "THIS ONE MAKES MORE SENSE!

SUCK IT!

>> Jordan: GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

[LAUGHTER] YOU ARE A DELIGHT.

THE JANE JUDI DENCH OF OUR --

>> EMPHASIS ON THE BOOTY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: "PLURIBUS" AND "WIDOW'S BAY" ARE STREAMING NOW

ON APPLE TV. JEFF HILLER!

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

*

TONIGHT. NOW HERE IT IS, YOUR

"MOMENT OF ZEN."

>> WHAT AFFORDABILITY? WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?

PRICES ARE TOO HIGH! I AM HERE FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS

BUT WE HAVE BROUGHT DOWN PRICES LAST WEEK, IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT

INFLATION HAS GONE DOWN FASTER THAN AT ANY TIME IN THE LAST SIX

YEARS. WHEN THE FUEL COMES DOWN, WHICH

IT DID FOR A LITTLE WHILE, THEN THEY DIDN'T BEHAVE AND I HAD TO

GO BACK AND NOW THEY ARE BEHAVING AGAIN.

IT IS LIKE PLAYING A BANJO.