All language subtitles for THE DAILY SHOW 28.07.2026_en

* *

* *

>> Announcer: FROM THE MOST
TRUSTED JOURNALISTS AT

COMEDY CENTRAL...
IT'S AMERICA'S ONLY SOURCE FOR

NEWS.
THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH

YOUR HOST, JORDAN KLEPPER!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME TO
"THE DAILY SHOW!"

I'M JORDAN KLEPPER.
WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT

TONIGHT.
TRUMP VISITS MICHIGAN TO GROPE

SOME CARS, THE ONE IMPORT THAT'S
NOT AFFECTED BY TARIFFS IS

COCAINE, AND CANADIANS ARE VERY
EXCITED ABOUT A NEW BRIDGE.

SORRY, "ABOOT" A NEW BRIDGE.
SO LET'S GET INTO HEADLINES!

*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

LET'S START IN MY HOME STATE OF
MICHIGAN, WHICH IS OJIBWE FOR

"WE'RE SAVING UP TO MOVE TO
CHICAGO."

YESTERDAY, PRESIDENT TRUMP
VISITED A GM AUTO FACILITY,

WHERE HE KIM JONG UN'D HIS WAY
DOWN THE DISPLAY FLOOR, CHECKED

TO SEE IF A CAR WAS CAKE, AND
APPARENTLY GOT TRICKED INTO

SIGNING A LEASE.
"DONNY, DON'T GET THAT

RUST PROOFING!
IT'S A SCAM!

TRUST ME."
BY THE WAY, I KNOW WE ALWAYS

RAG ON TRUMP FOR BEING WEIRD,
BUT KNOCKING ON THE CAR HOOD IS

PROBABLY THE MOST NORMAL THING
HE'S EVER DONE.

THERE IS NOT A DAD IN THE WORLD
WHO CAN WALK PAST A NEW CAR

WITHOUT RAPPING ON THE HOOD TO
CHECK THAT BUILD QUALITY.

"YEAH, THAT'S A CAR."
YOU KNOW WHAT?

AT LEAST THIS TOUR WENT A LOT
BETTER THAN THE LAST TIME TRUMP

VISITED A CAR FACILITY IN
MICHIGAN BACK IN JANUARY, WHICH

IF YOU REMEMBER, WENT LIKE THIS.

>> AS THE PRESIDENT TOURED A
FORD MANUFACTURING FACTORY, THIS

MOMENT CAUGHT ON CAMERA IN VIDEO
OBTAINED BY TMZ.

ONE MAN SHOUTING AT THE
PRESIDENT, "PEDOPHILE

PROTECTOR."

>> Jordan: WOW, SHOW SOME
RESPECT FOR THE OFFICE.

THAT'S PRESIDENT PEDOPHILE
PROTECTOR.

[APPLAUSE]
RESPECT.

COME ON, MICHIGANDER.
IT WAS AN EMBARRASSING EVENT FOR

ALL INVOLVED.
LUCKILY THIS TIME, TRUMP MADE IT

THROUGH HIS WHOLE TOUR WITHOUT A
HITCH, AND HE WAS ABLE TO MOVE

ON TO HIS SPEECH.

>> THE TRADE DEFICIT IN
AUTOMOBILES WAS MORE THAN

$300 BILLION ANNUALLY.
THAT MEANS OUTSIDE COUNTRIES AND

COMPANIES WERE COMING IN AND
JUST ROBBING US BLIND.

AND IT WAS CAUSING TREMENDOUS
PROBLEMS FOR YOUR JOBS.

>> PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR!
PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR!

>> Jordan: WHY DOES THIS KEEP
HAPPENING?

IS IT THE SAME GUY?
IS IT SOMETHING IN THE WATER?

IS IT BECAUSE TRUMP WITHHELD
MILLIONS OF EPSTEIN FILES AND

PEOPLE ARE FURIOUS THAT NO ONE
HAS BEEN HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR

IT?
WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

BUT COME ON, DONALD, THIS WILL
NOT STAND.

HIT HIM WITH A COMEBACK.

>> HE'S A COMMUNIST.
HE'S A COMMUNIST.

>> Jordan: OH.
IF YOU'RE WONDERING, COMMUNIST

IS THE OPPOSITE OF PEDOPHILE.
WE ALL REMEMBER WATCHING

KARL MARX HOSTING
"TO CATCH A PREDATOR."

SO I MEAN, MAYBE THIS IS THE
POLITICAL SPECTRUM NOW?

LIKE, "I'M A STRAIGHT DOWN
THE MIDDLE TYPE OF GUY.

FISCALLY COMMUNIST,
SOCIALLY PEDOPHILE."

BUT MY FELLOW MICHIGANDERS,
PLEASE STOP SHOUTING CRAZY SHIT

AT DONALD TRUMP!
HE WAS ELECTED TO SHOUT

CRAZY SHIT AT US.
CONTINUE.

>> FOR YEARS YOU WATCH COMPANIES
MOVE PRODUCTION FROM AMERICA

DOWN TO "MEHEHO."
[LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: I'M SORRY, DOWN TO
WHERE?

>> "MEHEHO."

>> Jordan: OH, HE'S SAYING IT
THAT WAY ON PURPOSE.

NEXT QUESTION: WHY?

>> THERE'S A VERY NICE PRESIDENT
OF MEXICO.

YOU KNOW THAT.
VERY NICE AND SHE SPEAKS

BEAUTIFULLY AND SHE CALLS IT
"MEHEHO."

>> Jordan: PLEASE MEET WITH
CHINA NEXT WEEK, PLEASE MEET

WITH CHINA NEXT WEEK, PLEASE
MEET WITH CHINA NEXT WEEK, OH...

AND WHILE TRUMP IS RANTING ABOUT
"MEHEHO," JUST DOWN THE ROAD,

THEY'RE OPENING A NEW
INTERNATIONAL TRADE ROUTE

BETWEEN THE U.S. AND CANADA.
OR AS DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT,

CA-NA-HA.
IT'S CALLED THE GORDIE HOWE

INTERNATIONAL BRIDGE.
IT CONNECTS MICHIGAN AND ONTARIO

IN A SYMBOLIC, UNIFYING MOMENT
BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES.

>> TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS
UNIFYING MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO

COUNTRIES, BUT INSTEAD IT'S SORT
OF DRIPPING WITH A STAIN.

AND THAT'S BECAUSE AT THE 11TH
HOUR, TRUMP IMPOSED THIS 50%

TARIFF.
THEY WERE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO

HAVE A JOINT RIBBON CUTTING
BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES.

INSTEAD, CANADA HOSTED THEIR OWN
WITHOUT A SINGLE U.S. ELECTED

OFFICIAL IN SIGHT.

>> Jordan: IT'S SO HEARTBREAKING
TO SEE MOM AND DAD FIGHTING LIKE

THIS.
AND TO THE BRIDGE, IT'S NOT YOUR

FAULT.
THINK OF IT THIS WAY, LITTLE

GORDIE.
YOU GET TO HAVE TWO CHRISTMASES

BUT EVEN IF TRUMP ISN'T EXCITED
FOR THIS BRIDGE, MICHIGANDERS

ARE!
AND THAT'S WHY MICHIGAN'S

LOCAL NEWS OFFERED RUDIMENTARY
BRIDGE-DRIVING TIPS.

AND I MEAN VERY RUDIMENTARY.

>> MSP PUSHED OUT AN IMPORTANT
WARNING FOR ANYONE WHO PLANS TO

USE THE NEW BRIDGE.
FIRST, CHECK THIS OUT, DON'T

STOP ON THE BRIDGE OR EXIT YOUR
VEHICLE.

>> Jordan: GREAT TIP!
LET ME WRITE THIS ONE DOWN...

"STAY IN CAR WHILE DRIVING..."
GREAT, AWESOME.

THANK YOU, ANDRE 1000.
APPRECIATE IT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE ADVANCED
TIPS FOR BRIDGE DRIVING?

>> FOLLOW ALL POSTED TRAFFIC
SIGNS AND MESSAGE BOARDS.

OBEY POSTED SPEED LIMITS.
DRIVE FOR THE CURRENT TRAFFIC

CONDITIONS.
STAY FOCUSED ON THE ROAD AND PUT

AWAY ANY DISTRACTIONS.
BUCKLE UP EVERY TIME, EVERY

TRIP.

>> Jordan: BUCKLE MY SEATBELT?
THAT'S NOT EVEN BRIDGE-SPECIFIC

THIS IS JUST A DRIVER'S ED
CLASS.

WHY AM I EVEN TAKING DRIVING
TIPS FROM A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE

HE ONLY TRAVELS BY HOT AIR
BALLOON?

WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THIS IS
THE FIRST BRIDGE MICHIGAN HAS

EVER SEEN?
STOP TREATING US LIKE WE'RE

STUPID.
WE'RE NOT OHIO!

[AUDIENCE REACTS]
BUT LET'S MOVE ON, BECAUSE TRUMP

ISN'T JUST BEEFING WITH CANADA.
HE'S ALSO BEEFING WITH THE

ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD.
HE'S LOSING HIS WAR WITH IRAN,

HE'S LOSING HIS WAR WITH YEMEN,
HE'S SOMEHOW LOSING UKRAINE'S

WAR WITH RUSSIA, AND NOW IT
LOOKS LIKE HE'S EVEN LOSING HIS

WAR ON DRUGS.

>> AFTER BOMBING DOZENS OF BOATS
AND HUNDREDS OF DEATHS, A DEA

ASSESSMENT REPORTEDLY SHOWS
OPERATION SOUTHERN SPEAR, WHICH

STARTED IN SEPTEMBER, HAS NOT
REDUCED THE AMOUNT OR EVEN THE

PURITY OF COCAINE FLOWING INTO
THIS COUNTRY BY SEA.

>> Jordan: HELL YEAH!
LET'S [BLEEP] GO!

WHOO!
I MEAN...

ANOTHER POLICY FAILURE FROM THE
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

YES, SOMEHOW THE COCAINE IN
AMERICA IS NOT ONLY STILL

PLENTIFUL, BUT ACCORDING TO DEA
OFFICIALS AND MY STOCKBROKER

CODY, IT'S THAT GOOD SHIT.
I'M CONFUSED.

HOW HAS THE TACTIC OF BLOWING UP
RANDOM FISHING BOATS NOT STOPPED

ALL DRUG TRAFFIC?

>> THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION'S
STRIKES ON ALLEGED NARCO

TERRORISTS HAVE ONLY ENCOURAGED
DRUG LORDS TO FIND NEW WAYS TO

BRING NARCOTICS INTO
THE UNITED STATES.

>> Jordan: YEAH, OF COURSE
DRUG LORDS FOUND NEW WAYS.

THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO
FOUND A WAY TO SNEAK IN A POWDER

USING YOUR BUTT.
THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD AT PROBLEM

SOLVING.
THEY PROBABLY ALL GOT IN A ROOM

AND WERE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, IF
WE'RE GOING TO CRACK THIS

DRUG SMUGGLING NUT, WE GOT TO
PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER.

BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO STAY UP
ALL NIGHT?

ANY IDEAS?
ANYBODY?

ANYBODY?
CODY, YOU?"

BUT EVEN AS DONALD TRUMP FAILS
TO CONTAIN THE EVER INCREASING

AND WIDENING WARS AROUND HIM,
HIS MAGA FOLLOWERS STILL

STUBBORNLY THINK OF HIM AS A
"PEACE PRESIDENT."

IT'S A DEVOTION I DISCOVERED
RECENTLY.

* *

>> LAST FALL, I MADE A SPECIAL
ABOUT TRUMP'S OBSESSION WITH THE

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
IN HINDSIGHT, I REALLY SHOULDN'T

HAVE BEEN SURPRISED WHEN EVERY
MAGA SUPPORTER ASSUMED HE HAD IT

IN THE BAG.

>> WAS DONALD TRUMP THE PEACE
PRESIDENT?

>> I WOULD SAY HE'S BETTER THAN
THE OTHERS.

>> HOW HAS DONALD TRUMP DONE IN
TERMS OF ENDING WARS?

>> DEFINITELY MAKING IT WHERE
THERE WILL NOT BE MORE IN THE

FUTURE.

>> Jordan: NOT STARTING NEW
WARS.

THE GREENLAND WAR IS DONE.
NOT HAPPENING ANYMORE.

RIGHT?
I THINK WE HAVE DONALD TRUMP TO

THANK FOR THAT WAR.

>> FOR SURE.

>> Jordan: AND FOR ENDING THAT
WAR.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT TRUMP THAT
SCREAMS TO YOU PEACE?

>> BOMBING ALL THE NARCO
TERRORISTS.

IT IS BRINGING PEACE IN AMERICA.

>> Jordan: THE ACTIONS WE ARE
TAKING ARE OUTSIDE THE JUDICIAL

SYSTEM?

>> ISN'T IT OPEN BORDERS?

>> Jordan: MAYBE IT'S
EXTRAJUDICIAL.

>> I THINK THEY ARE GIVING THEM
ENOUGH DUE PROCESS.

>> Jordan: TRUMP HADN'T YET
INVADED VENEZUELA OR STARTED A

WAR WITH IRAN BUT HE HAD
DEPLOYED SWATHES OF I.C.E.

AGENTS TO AMERICAN CITIES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THOSE

IMAGES?

>> I THINK IT NEEDED TO BE DONE
A LONG TIME AGO.

>> Jordan: WHY IS THAT?

>> BECAUSE THIS PLACE IS
HORRIBLE.

>> Jordan: WHO IS CAUSING THE
CRIMES?

>> UNFORTUNATELY, THE
AFRICAN AMERICAN DEMOGRAPHIC.

>> Jordan: WHERE ARE YOU
GETTING THIS INTEL THAT IT IS

BLACK AMERICANS?

>> BEFORE IT CAME TO OLE MISS, I
WAS LOOKING AT GOING TO THE

UNIVERSITY OF OREGON.

>> Jordan: EUGENE, OREGON, DID
NOT FEEL SAFE?

I SAY THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
ARE YOU JUST A PUSSY?

LOOKING BACK, IT WAS OBVIOUS THE
MAGA CROWD WAS AFRAID OF LIBERAL

CITIES FOR ONE SIMPLE REASONS.

>> ANTIFA THUGS.

>> DOMESTIC TERROR GROUPS
ANTIFA.

>> ANTIFA!

>> Jordan: WHEN I WENT TO
PORTLAND OREGON TO MEET WITH

THESE ANTIFA TERRORISTS, I
FOUND...

>> WHERE SHOULD I LOOK?

>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

>> Jordan: I HAD TO ASK, ARE
YOU AN ANTIFA COP?

>> I'M NOT AN ANTIFA COP.

>> Jordan: HAVE YOU SEEN ANY
ANTIFA THUGS?

>> HAVE NOT SEEN ANY.

>> Jordan: THAT IS WHAT AN
ANTIFA THUG WOULD SAY?

TURNS OUT THIS WAS A NAKED
PROTEST AGAINST TRUMP

IMMIGRATION CRACKDOWN AND
JOINING THE LEFTY.

AS SOMEONE WHO WAS AN EARLY
ADOPTER TO CHICKEN COSTUMES,

WHAT OTHER COSPLAY ARE YOU
IMPRESSED BY?

>> THE TOAD AND THE FROG.

>> Jordan: GOING TO GIVE ME AN
ANTIFA HUG?

>> I THINK THAT ONE HAS CAUGHT
ON IN A WAY THAT IS REALLY

SUSTAINABLE.

>> Jordan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY
THAT?

>> WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW
INTENTIONAL EVERYTHING WAS WITH

THAT OR WITH THIS BUT FROGS WORK
SO WELL AS AN ANALOGY RIGHT NOW.

FROGS IN BOILING WATER.
THAT IS WHAT WE ARE AS AMERICA

IN THIS MOMENT.
FASCISM IS HAPPENING.

IT IS NOT COMING IT IS HERE.
A LOT OF US HAVE JUST BEEN

IGNORING IT AS THE TEMPERATURE
GETS TURNED UP.

>> Jordan: DO YOU THINK THE
FROG UNDERSTOOD SYMBOLISM OR

JUST GOT SUPER STONED AND SAID
I'M WEARING THIS?

>> CAN BE BOTH.

>> Jordan: PAY ATTENTION,
AMERICA BECAUSE LAST FALL, IT

WAS PORTLAND, OREGON.
THIS SPRING, IT WAS PORTLAND,

MAINE, AND NOW I'M GUESSING,
PORTLAND, CONNECTICUT, IS ABOUT

TO GET [BLEEP].
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WHEN WE COME BACK,
LEWIS BLACK FINDS OUT WHO'S

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."

WHEN A NEWS STORY FALLS THROUGH
THE CRACKS, LEWIS BLACK CATCHES

IT FOR A SEGMENT WE CALL
"BACK IN BLACK."

*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME,
YOU LOVE BEING WATCHED.

WHETHER IT'S GETTING CHANGED IN
FRONT OF AN OPEN WINDOW,

CUTTING MY TOENAILS ON TWITCH,
OR SLURPING LO MEIN ON THE GRAM.

BUT WHILE A LITTLE TASTEFUL
VOUYERISM REVS MY ENGINE, THESE

DAYS, BEING WATCHED HAS GOTTEN
OUT OF CONTROL.

>> THERE ARE 85 MILLION
SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS NOW ACROSS

THE COUNTRY.

>> TENS OF THOUSANDS OF CAMERAS
TRACKING CARS, INCLUDING YOURS.

>> NEARLY 80% OF AMERICANS OWN
SOME SORT OF HOME SECURITY

CAMERA, INCLUDING TENS OF
MILLIONS OF RING CAMERAS.

>> EVERYWHERE, FROM HOTELS AND
RENTAL HOMES, TO CRUISE SHIP AND

AIRPLANE BATHROOMS.

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING?
I'VE NEVER SAT NEXT TO AN

AIRPLANE BATHROOM AND THOUGHT,
"OOH, I REALLY NEED TO SEE

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE!"
SO, LIKE IT OR NOT, WE'RE NOW

BEING RECORDED EVERYWHERE ALL
THE TIME.

IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD, I CAN'T EVEN
BURY A DOG IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD

WITHOUT THEM SENDING THE VIDEO
TO THE POLICE.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, CREEPS!
BUT THIS GOES BEYOND

RING CAMERAS AND LICENSE PLATE
READERS.

NOW WE'VE MANAGED TO MAKE
SURVEILLANCE FUN AND TRENDY!

>> KYLIE JENNER HAS PARTNERED
WITH META TO LAUNCH A NEW LINE

OF SMART GLASSES AIMED AT
FASHION FORWARD CONSUMERS.

THE NEW SLEEK DESIGN COMBINES AI
FEATURES WITH A BUILT IN CAMERA

THAT CAPTURES PHOTOS AND VIDEOS.

>> YOU GO, KYLIE JENNER!
COLLECTING DATA AND

SERVING [BLEEP]!
FINALLY, A PAIR OF GLASSES FOR

FASHION FORWARD PERVERTS.
IT'S TIME TO RISE OUT OF THE

BUSHES AND JERK OFF ON THE
RUNWAY!

YOU'VE EARNED IT, QUEENS!
BUT OF COURSE, IN REAL LIFE,

MODELS AREN'T THE ONES WEARING
THESE GLASSES.

IT'S CREEPS LIKE THIS:

>> A GROWING NUMBER OF WOMEN ARE
FINDING IMAGES OF THEMSELVES

POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT THEY
SAY WERE TAKEN WITHOUT THEIR

KNOWLEDGE.

>> PEOPLE APPROACHING OTHER
PEOPLE ON THE STREET.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND OF
CUTE.

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

>> IT WAS JUST JARRING TO KNOW
THAT I WAS SPEAKING TO SOMEBODY,

LOOKING THEM IN THE EYES, AND
HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE RECORDING

ME.

>> THE MAN WHO POSTED THE VIDEO
IS A CONTENT CREATOR FROM

LONG ISLAND WHO CALLS HIMSELF
JOHNNY JESTERMAXX.

>> WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO
WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN TRUST A GUY

NAMED JOHNNY JESTERMAXX?
NEXT YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME I

CAN'T TRUST MY PAL
MARCUS MOLESTERMAXX.

COME ON!
WE'VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE

"THE ODYSSEY" NEXT WEEK!
AND HE'S A WHIZ WITH THAT

POPCORN TRICK.
[LAUGHS]

"CHECK IT OUT, FAM!
I'M THE JIMOTHY OF

CREEPING OUT WOMEN!"
BUT IT'S NOT JUST STRANGERS ON

THE STREET.
WE'RE EVEN STALKING OUR OWN

FAMILIES.

>> MANY OF THESE YOUNG ADULTS
ARE ALSO TRACKING THEIR PARENTS.

>> TEENS CHECK THEIR FAMILY'S
LOCATION MORE THAN ADULTS.

>> SOME WILL TEXT THE PARENTS
WHEN THEY SEE THEY ARE STOPPING

FOR STARBUCKS AND SAY, "HEY,
GRAB ME A FRAPPUCCINO TOO," OR

SOME ARE PULLING UP TO DATE
NIGHT TO JOIN THEIR PARENTS OUT

FOR DINNER.

>> THIS IS CALLED FAMBUSHING.

>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS
FAMBUSHING?

THERE IS NOTHING HEARTWARMING
ABOUT KIDS SHOWING UP TO

[BLEEP]BLOCK THEIR PARENTS.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LEAVE THEM

ALONE!
THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO BONE ONE

MORE TIME BEFORE THE DIVORCE
PAPERS ARE SIGNED!

THIS SHIT WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN
OKAY WHEN I WAS A KID.

IF I DID THIS TO MY PARENTS,
THEY WOULD'VE LOCKED UP MY

OVALTINE!
AND NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE,

[BLEEP] WITH MY OVALTINE!
[APPLAUSE]

SO AT THIS POINT, OUR PRIVACY IS
ESSENTIALLY DEAD.

BUT THAT WON'T STOP SOME PEOPLE
FROM FIGHTING BACK.

>> THESE ARE ALL EXAMPLES OF
WHAT'S CALLED ADVERSARIAL

FASHION.
CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES

DESIGNED TO TRICK FACIAL
RECOGNITION SOFTWARE INTO

MISLABELING A PERSON INTO
SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE A

GIRAFFE OR A ZEBRA.

>> OH, JESUS CHRIST, NO!
I AM NOT WEARING THAT!

I'D RATHER YOU JUST STICK A
CAMERA UP MY ASS THAN WALK

AROUND LOOKING LIKE BOB MARLEY
[BLEEP] A RORSCHACH TEST.

IMAGINE WEARING A SHIRT SO UGLY,
EVEN AI IS LIKE, "NAH, I DON'T

KNOW THAT PERSON."
BUT LOOK, IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS

IS A LOSING BATTLE.
SO IF I'M GOING TO GIVE MY LAST

SHREDS OF PRIVACY AWAY,
I MIGHT AS WELL LOOK GOOD DOING

IT.
UNBELIEVABLE.

I AM NOW [BLEEP] BLIND.
JORDAN?

>> Jordan: LEWIS BLACK,
EVERYONE!

WHEN WE COME BACK, JEFF HILLER
WILL BE JOINING ME ON THE SHOW.

DON'T GO AWAY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN
EMMY-WINNING ACTOR WHO'S

CURRENTLY NOMINATED FOR
OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN THE

APPLE TV SERIES "PLURIBUS."

>> NO OFFENSE, LARRY, BUT I
THINK YOU ARE BULLSHITING ME.

>> OH, BUT WE HAVE.
GOSH, IN THE FIRST NOVEL, WE

GREATLY ADMIRE THE DESCRIPTION
ON PAGE 2.

THE LAST SUMMER THREADS OF THE
FINEST SILK, SHIMMERING LIKE

SPUN GOLD AS IF THE SUN ITSELF
WERE SHOWERING WITH RESPLENDENT

KISSES.
[LAUGHS]

THAT MADE QUITE A FEW OF US
TINGLE.

>> Jordan: PLEASE WELCOME
JEFF HILLER!

*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I GOT TO TELL YOU, IT IS SO NICE
TO HAVE A FELLOW TALL PERSON OUT

HERE.

>> I KNOW.

>> Jordan: HOLLYWOOD IS SO
SHORT.

>> [LAUGHS]
I KNOW.

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I AM STANDING
NEXT TO SOMEONE AND I AM ABOUT

TO TAKE THEM UP THE EMPIRE STATE
BUILDING.

SO SHOCKINGLY TALL.

>> Jordan: JON STEWART ALWAYS
LOOKS AT ME WITH THOSE EYES.

"WILL YOU PUT ME ON YOUR
SHOULDERS" I AM LIKE, NO, YOU

JUST HAVE TO GROW UP A LITTLE
BIT.

>> I ALWAYS SAY YES.

>> Jordan: YOU ARE SO KIND,
ALL OF THE ACTORS THAT HAVE BEEN

ON YOUR SHOULDERS THAT YOU JUST
CARRY.

>> WEE!
[LAUGHS]

>> Jordan: YOU WERE HERE,
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY

NOMINATION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> AND YOU.

>> Jordan: YOU DO IT FOR THE
GNOMES.

>> THAT IS THE ONLY REASON I DO
IT.

>> IT'S BEEN A REALLY DRY 25
YEARS BUT THE LAST TWO, YEAH

COME A BABY!

>> Jordan: YOU HAVE TWO HOES.
NOT ONLY ON "PLURIBUS,"

EMMY-NOMINATED, ALSO ON
"WIDOW'S BAY."

>> IT IS A GOOD SHOW.
AND YOU WON AN EMMY LAST YEAR

FOR "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE."

>> I AM AMAZING!
[LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: I'M CURIOUS NOW ON
THE STREET WHEN PEOPLE SAY, HEY,

ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM --
WHAT DO THEY SAY?

>> IF THEY ARE HOLDING THEIR
HEART IT IS "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE"

AND IF THEY ARE LIKE, "ARE YOU
THAT GUY FROM"?

IT IS "AMERICAN HORROR STORY."
A LOT LADY.

EVEN THE LADY AT NORDSTROM RACK
THEY ARE LIKE "I LIKE

"WIDOW'S BAY."
I LIKE WHEN HE SCREAMED IN

"WIDOW'S BAY."

>> Jordan: YOU THINK THE
NORDSTROM RACK FOLKS ARE REALLY

"WIDOW'S BAY" PEOPLE.
IS THAT MORE "PLURIBUS"?

>> I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO
BERGDORF.

>> Jordan: I SAID BERGDORF, I
DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING

ABOUT.
IT'S A COMEDIC NAME OF A

DEPARTMENT STORE.

>> IT IS A DEPARTMENT STORE,
RIGHT?

THERE IS PROBABLY "PLURIBUS"
FOLK IN THERE.

"WHEN I SHOP AT BERGDORF,
EVERYONE NOTICES ME FOR

"PLURIBUS."
[LAUGHTER]

WE CAN EDIT THAT IN.

>> Jordan: THAT IS IN THERE.
SO "PLURIBUS," YOU ARE SO FUNNY

IN "PLURIBUS."
[LAUGHTER]

>> IT IS A DRAMA.

>> Jordan: YOU SHOW UP AND I
LAUGH.

AND THAT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH
THE COSTUME CHOICE.

CAN WE SEE A PICTURE OF WHAT
JEFF WAS WEARING IN "PLURIBUS"?

SO THEY PUT YOU IN --
[LAUGHTER]

>> LOOK AT MY FACE.
I AM LIKE "WHAT HAPPENED"?

>> Jordan: WHEN DO THEY SWING
AN OUTFIT LIKE YOU?

>> THIS IS A VERY SECRET SHOW.
I DIDN'T KNOW THE CONCEPT WHEN I

AUDITIONED AND I SHOWED UP TO
THE FITTING I STILL DON'T KNOW

THE CONCEPT COME AND THEY ARE
LIKE "PUT ON THIS BICYCLE

OUTFIT."
AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT IS THIS

SHOW?
JUST THE SLIGHTEST MOMENT WHERE

I WAS LIKE, AM I IN PORN?
[LAUGHTER]

AND THEN VINCE GILLIGAN WAS
LIKE, WELL, THE HIVE MIND, THEY

DON'T HAVE PRIDE OF PERSONAL
APPEARANCE AND I WAS LIKE, BUT I

DO!
[LAUGHTER]

AS AN ACTOR!

>> Jordan: THERE IS VANITY
HERE.

>> THEY DID LET ME WEAR MY
SHAPEWEAR UNDERNEATH.

>> Jordan: SO YOU HAVE AN
EXTRA LAYER.

>> YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THE
WHALEBONES.

>> Jordan: KEEPS IT TIGHT.
"PLURIBUS" IS SUCH A FASCINATING

SHOW AND YOU PLAY A CHARACTER
WHO IS ALSO PART OF THE LARGER

HIVE MIND BUT IT ALMOST SEEMS
LIKE, AS YOU WATCH IT, ALMOST AS

IF YOU ARE PLAYING ChatGPT.
YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE.

HAVE YOU HEARD THIS?

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID YOU
ARE JUST LIKE ChatGPT.

>> Jordan: IS THAT A REFERENCE
POINT YOU DIDN'T KNOW GOING INTO

IT OR EVEN IN YOUR PERFORMANCE
OR IS THAT TALKED ABOUT WITH

VINCE GILLIGAN BEFOREHAND?

>> NO.
IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED BEFORE IT

CAME OUT.
WE SHOT THIS KIND OF A LONG TIME

AGO, KIND OF BEFORE ChatGPT
WAS UBIQUITOUS.

SO I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT
IT.

I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY EXTREME
LOVE FOR HER AND INSTEAD, I DID

ChatGPT.
[LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: SO THAT --

>> ANYWAY, GODDESS EMMY
NOMINATION FOR IT.

>> Jordan: THERE YOU GO!

>> [LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: IF THAT IS THE BEST
YOU CAN DO, CONGRATULATIONS.

>> SOMETIMES YOU AIM FOR ONE
TARGET, YOU HIT ANOTHER PERIODS

B WHEN YOU ARE ON SCREEN FOR
BASICALLY 7 MINUTES AND YOU PULL

AN
EMMY NOMINATION.

ARE YOU LIKE THE JANE -- DAME
JUDI DENCH?

JANE --

>> JANE DENCH.

>> Jordan: YOU ARE THE JANE
DENCH OF THE EMMYS THIS YEAR.

>> EXACTLY.
JANE DENCH, THE WOMAN THAT YOU

SAY, WHO?

>> Jordan: THE WOMAN FROM THAT
THING?

SHE WON AN OSCAR FOR 8 MINUTES
ON SCREEN.

>> "SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE."
SHE WAS DRESSED UP LIKE QUEEN

ELIZABETH BUT I WORE BICYCLE
THING SO I AM JUDI DENCH.

>> Jordan: "WIDOW'S BAY," I
LOVE "WIDOW'S BAY."

IT HAS SUCH AN INTERESTING TONE
TO IT.

SCARY, FUNNY, ALL SORTS OF
THINGS AND THE CREATOR, KATIE

DIPPOLD, IS A UCB PERSON FROM
THE COMMUNITY, WHO YOU DID

IMPROV WITH BACK IN THE DAY.
I'M CURIOUS IF THERE IS IMPROV

ON THE SET OR IF IT IS JUST A
PARLOR TRICK.

>> WE WASTED OUR LIVES.

>> Jordan: SO MUCH TIME.

>> THERE IS A LITTLE BIT.
THERE IS USUALLY A LITTLE

IMPROVISING DURING THEIR
REHEARSAL AND THEY SAY, YOU

CAN'T DO THAT.
FOR THE MOST PART, IT IS AN

INCREDIBLY DISRUPTIVE THING.
LIKE YOU SAID, THE TONE IS SO

STRANGE THAT WE HAVE TO BE
WORKING REALLY HARD ON IT.

>> Jordan: "PLURIBUS" AND
"WIDOW'S BAY," THOSE ARE DARK

SHOWS.

>> [LAUGHS]
YES.

A CLOWN KILLER AND A DARK SHOW.

>> Jordan: A LITTLE CLOWN
KILLER.

[LAUGHTER]
"SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE" IS SUCH A

LIFE AFFIRMING, A HEARTWARMING
SHOW.

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS TO LIVE IN.
WHAT DO YOU PREFER?

SPEAK OF WHICHEVER ONE HAS THE
BIGGEST CHECK, BABY!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> [LAUGHS]
CAPITALISM!

OBVIOUSLY, "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE,"
WAS MY HEART.

BUT I LOVE BEING IN
"WIDOW'S BAY."

BECAUSE IT IS SO TONALLY ODD AND
STRANGE BEARD BASICALLY, I JUST.

SO WHATEVER IS GOOD WITH ME.

>> Jordan: IS THERE ANY TALK
ABOUT SEASON 2?

>> IT IS GOING TO BE.
THEY DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING.

>> Jordan: YOU DON'T KNOW
SHIT?

>> I GOT LOOSE LIPS.
[LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: SEE YOU OVER AT
BERGDORF TELLING EVERYBODY

BEARD.
[LAUGHTER]

>> IF YOU LIKE "PLURIBUS," YOU
WILL LIKE THIS.

>> Jordan: I WANT TO KNOW,
YOUR EMMY SPEECH HAD PEOPLE IN

TEARS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THIS

YEAR WHEN YOU WIN?

>> I'M NOT GOING TO WIN.
[LAUGHTER]

>> Jordan: YOU ARE GOING TO
WIN, JEFF.

>> WELL, I WILL SAY, "THIS ONE
MAKES MORE SENSE!

SUCK IT!

>> Jordan: GIVE THE PEOPLE
WHAT THEY WANT.

[LAUGHTER]
YOU ARE A DELIGHT.

THE JANE JUDI DENCH OF OUR --

>> EMPHASIS ON THE BOOTY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jordan: "PLURIBUS" AND
"WIDOW'S BAY" ARE STREAMING NOW

ON APPLE TV.
JEFF HILLER!

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK
BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

*

TONIGHT.
NOW HERE IT IS, YOUR

"MOMENT OF ZEN."

>> WHAT AFFORDABILITY?
WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?

PRICES ARE TOO HIGH!
I AM HERE FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS

BUT WE HAVE BROUGHT DOWN PRICES
LAST WEEK, IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT

INFLATION HAS GONE DOWN FASTER
THAN AT ANY TIME IN THE LAST SIX

YEARS.
WHEN THE FUEL COMES DOWN, WHICH

IT DID FOR A LITTLE WHILE, THEN
THEY DIDN'T BEHAVE AND I HAD TO

GO BACK AND NOW THEY ARE
BEHAVING AGAIN.

IT IS LIKE PLAYING A BANJO.