Original subtitles

How are you going to do that?

Fucking country sucks.

Stupid people.

Stupid people.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing in here.

Fuck off and all.

Telly market piece of shit.

I just don't even know why they're there anymore.

Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

Hi.

Who are you?

I'm Elena.

My P.O. told me that you're going to tell you that I'm coming over.

P.O.? What's P.O.? Parole officer.

Parole officer? I serve my senior citizen program that I'm doing.

I don't really remember what that is, but... Well, as you'll hear,

my remote fell off the couch and it slid right under

there. Could you possibly, would you mind if you can just... That's it, good

idea. Perfect. It might have to bend a little bit more, maybe even down.

Like getting right down?

Deeper? Lower?

Yeah, I'm not too sure.

Really? Are you sure?

Yeah. Really?

It's not in there.

I could have swung up.

I was sitting on it. I guess it fell down.

I've got a bad memory.

But anyway, so you're here to help me, is that it?

Wherever I need, you can be for me and that kind of thing?

Yeah. Good.

Do I have to sign off on some stuff?

Yeah, at the end, just saying how they helped you out today. Oh, okay.

So, well, it's my lunchtime and I'm kind of a little bit peckish. Could you go

make me a sandwich in the kitchen? I don't think, I don't think.

No, it's not cooking, it's just a couple of bits of bread.

Bit of salami?

Okay, well then we're good then. If you could make me that sandwich, then I

could not be so hungry, because I can't... Look at that. That's really not

good. I can't sign until my blood sugar's at the right level, and I

really could use that sandwich to... If you want me to fill that form, of

course.

If you wouldn't mind.

And lots of mayonnaise.

I'm not worried about that. That's fine. I've just got to eat. Otherwise I can't

sign for you, you know. But I can come and help. I mean, at least, you know,

show you where things are.

Sorry,

there's a few dips. I can't really reach. Can you open the fridge? That's

it. Yeah.

Oh, at the bottom. At the bottom shelf. That's it. If you've bent, that's it.

To the end.

What am I looking for?

The meat thing.

Oh, on here.

Yes, the meat thing. Okay.

And then what else?

Oh, so I'm getting the mayo. See there? That's it. The mayo. That's it. And

that's that.

And what else? Oh,

the buns.

Somehow, I don't know who's got them up there, but.

Okay. Yeah, just reach.

Oh, okay.

I have to get up there.

Okay.

Right. I'm trying to think where I put my... Hold on. Can you look in the...

See if there's... In there. I can't remember what my knives and forks are. I

have a very bad memory. Oh, there you are. First time you found them.

Fabulous. A fork, you said, too?

Yeah, maybe I might have to cut it.

I think there's a knife.

Yeah, I think there's a knife. And a plate. Where's the plate? I don't know

where my plates are.

Try that one there, maybe.

No, no, it's not that one. Try that one.

Okay, well, it's not in here.

No, try the next one then. I've got bad memories, so.

Got it, I'm sorry.

You're right, second time.

Cool.

Okay, now we're cooking, so to speak.

No, no, I'm not going to interrupt you. You're doing this very well.

I'll just hang that and watch you do your magic.

Now grab a piece of the meat.

Have a nice bit of juicy meat.

There you go. Just slap it on there. There you go. Like that? No, just flat.

There you go. That's it. And now for some mayonnaise.

So give it a little dobble. There you go.

Yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's it. Keep going. Keep going. Don't stop.

More. Like that? That's it. Now go across the other way.

There you go. There you go.

Yes. More, more, more.

More. Squeeze it. More.

Okay. More. More.

Is it going to break your heart? No, I don't want to break my heart. I haven't

got any.

That's it. Keep going.

Yeah. More.

I think that's fine.

No, no, no, no. You can never have enough. Never have enough mayo.

Never have enough mayo. That's it. Oh, that's perfect. Look at that. That's

poetry of motion. Okay, so slap on the end of the bun so we can finalise this

creation of magic. Oh, give us that.

Very fucking gorgeous.

Oh, my God.

Don't you like that?

Look at that. Look at that.

You want to come help me eat this?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Well, it's not going to suck itself.

Excuse me?

Right? Yeah. Right.

So, come, little lady, and I'll fill

your form out.

And we're all happy.

And we all go home.

Don't be too long, because I'll be finished with my sandwich, and then I

won't really want to do it. Come on.

Let me just give you some space.

Come on, little lady.

Fill the form or don't fill the form.

Come on.

Come on.

Don't be scared.

Want some time?

Okay. Well, will you put this in your mouth instead then?

Come on. I want to get my camera. Of course.

Why wouldn't I? You've done something for me, I'll do something for you. It's

kind of, you know.

Yeah, come on. Don't be scared.

Oh, come on.

Yes.

Oh, that's so good.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

Oh.

Do you want some mayo on there?

Let's check.

Mm, fuck.

Oh, God.

Let me see that. Oh.

You're making an old man read any fucking country right now.

You have no idea.

Seriously.

Yeah, that's it.

You're having fun, aren't you?

Oh, God.

Oh, baby, that's good.

Oh, that's so good.

Mmm.

I see those pretty eyes.

Oh, that's...

So good.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

You're Elena, you said your name was, wasn't it? Is that right?

Oh, my God, Elena.

I am going to sign your form, like, 30 times.

Oh, Elena, that is so good.

You are special.

Oh, yes. You can use your hand as well, you know. You don't have to.

There you go. Oh, yes.

I don't mind that.

Yeah, that's it.

You can go to town with me.

I won't break, I promise.

Oh, God. I've got a pacemaker, so I ain't going to die. Just keep sucking

it. Oh, God.

Mmm.

Mmm.

I don't know what's the baddest sound with your mouth in my cock. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, that's it, baby. That's it.

Yeah, that's it.

Oh, God.

God, you're good at that.

Oh. Oh, that's it. Like me.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it. Oh,

yes.

I like it when you jab my cock.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, that's so good.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah. Keep sucking that. Oh,

you're doing so good.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Am I going to sing your praises to your parole officer?

Oh, shit. That's it.

Beautiful.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, yes.

Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

Oh.

Oh, you've made my day so much better.

Oh. Oh.

This is so good.

You don't have to stop.

You just keep going.

Don't worry about me.

Oh, and yes, I like to do that when you look at me.

I'm sick of it.

And, fuck yeah.

God, I love you guys.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Holy fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Why are you always supposed to come back?

Oh, I can come. It takes me days.

Seriously.

It's one thing about getting older.

It just takes forever to come. It's great.

Yeah. When those young kids come, I can flip them a dime.

Not me.

We could do this for hours.

Mmm.

You know what?

I've got a little bit of tidying up in the bedroom you could help me with.

Do you want to give me a quick hand with that?

Um, yeah.

Yeah? I'm going to clean.

Okay, let's go do that.

There you go.

Okay, so, um, you see this bed is a little bit of a mess, right?

I kind of need it, like, all the covers cleaned and all that. But before we do

that, I think you...

Could you come and give my balls a little bit of a clean up?

Come on.

What are you saying?

As long as you sign that paper.

Darling, I'll sign it. I'll even sign it much later.

If you want.

Okay, that is great.

Please, take some clothes off later if you're comfortable.

Because I'd like to see more of that in the body of yours.

And a chill-free little thing.

So gorgeous.

God, this is so sexy.

There you go.

Come on down.

Come and join me on the bed.

Where was we? Oh yeah, I'm addicted now. That's right.

Let me do that again.

It's amazing how I love that.

It's crazy.

But you know, you kind of make me get a little bit of a spin in my step.

You must be that beautiful youthfulness of this gorgeous, sexy body.

You're sexy.

I'm giving that back.

I don't care.

I don't

care.

oh my god that scared the f*** out

of me

Fucking telemarketers. Fuck off.

Oh, it's so annoying.

Oh, that's so good.

Fuck you, sexy baby.

Oh, you're making this old man very, very happy.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Maybe I'm good at that.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God.

Yes,

that's it.

Oh, yes.

Oh, your fucking eyes are sexy.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh.

Someone wants something inside them.

Oh, that's good.

Thank you.

Oh, yes.

So good.

So good.

Oh,

yes.

Yes.

We've got pussy all over the place.

Oh, God, I'm going to hit you pussy. I'm going to hit you pussy.

I'm going to kick your butt.

I'm going to kick your ass.

What are you doing right there?

Thank you.

Fucking turn him off now, just turn the fuck off.

Come on, spin around.

Come to me. Come to me.

Right next to me. Right next to me. Right next to me. Right next to me.

That's it.

That's it.

Sorry.

Oh my god, that's all wet.

Oh, sorry.

Oh my god.

You can clean it by yourself.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Fuck, you were so good.

You know what?

I'll sign that paper for you now. I mean, you made this old man very happy,

so this is it, right?

Yep.

There it is.

Thank you, sir.

I hope that whatever trouble you're in...

You can totally come back any time you like.

Just so you know.