All language subtitles for Colin from Accounts s03e02 Clean, Honest.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,815 --> 00:00:16,095 [Man on radio] You're with Ditzy and Riptug 2 00:00:16,096 --> 00:00:18,534 on this Tuesday morning, smashing out the hits. 3 00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:21,375 Hey, who remembers this banger from 1986? 4 00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,694 # Dave Dobbyn with Herbs' "Slice of Heaven" # 5 00:00:23,695 --> 00:00:24,774 [Song stops abruptly] 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:27,455 Um, you... you know, 7 00:00:27,535 --> 00:00:30,175 you don't have to stay for this. 8 00:00:30,255 --> 00:00:31,305 - What? No. No. - Yeah. 9 00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:33,535 I want to meet the other love of your life. 10 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:35,535 Oh, no, you don't. Don't say that. 11 00:00:35,615 --> 00:00:37,895 - No. I mean... I mean Colin. - Oh! 12 00:00:37,975 --> 00:00:39,025 Yes. 13 00:00:39,055 --> 00:00:40,575 This is important to you, 14 00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:42,455 you know, so it's important to me. 15 00:00:42,456 --> 00:00:44,254 - [David] Just here? - Yeah. 16 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,975 - Are we gonna fit? - Uh, yeah. 17 00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:48,575 There's so much room. 18 00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:49,975 We made it! 19 00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,095 Hey, thank you for being, like, 20 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:54,375 the most patient, the most beautiful, 21 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,975 the most sexiest driving teacher ever. 22 00:00:57,055 --> 00:00:59,095 - [Ashley giggles] - I love you. 23 00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:01,975 Yeah, you too. Shall we go? 24 00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:03,294 Yeah, you go, I've just gotta do 25 00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:05,254 a couple of things for my allergies, pre-Colin. 26 00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:06,815 - Oh. - Yeah. 27 00:01:06,895 --> 00:01:08,295 Okay. 28 00:01:08,375 --> 00:01:10,975 - I'll see ya! - Okay. 29 00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:12,105 Love you... 30 00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:14,175 [Dog barks in distance] 31 00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:16,894 [Dog barks] 32 00:01:16,895 --> 00:01:19,895 [Romantic music] 33 00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:22,054 Hi. 34 00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:23,255 [Giggles] 35 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,895 Hi! 36 00:01:26,895 --> 00:01:28,855 Hey, there she is. There she is. 37 00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,055 Hi. 38 00:01:33,055 --> 00:01:34,145 [Colin whines] Yeah. 39 00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:36,935 [Wheels squeak] 40 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:39,775 Good boy! Good boy! 41 00:01:39,855 --> 00:01:42,255 I missed you so much! I did! 42 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,135 Oh, I did. I missed you! 43 00:01:44,215 --> 00:01:46,295 - Hey! - Missed you! 44 00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:48,975 - Ooh. Hey! - I think he remembers you. 45 00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:50,975 Oh, I hope so. 46 00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,105 God. 47 00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:54,225 - Oh. Uh-oh. Don't turn around. - What is it? 48 00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:56,894 Nothing. Just don't turn around. It's a weird guy, weird guy. 49 00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:57,975 Shall we laugh? 50 00:01:58,055 --> 00:02:00,055 [Both laugh falsely] 51 00:02:00,135 --> 00:02:01,975 Anyway, should probably go now. 52 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,255 - Ha-ha! - Ahoy there! 53 00:02:03,335 --> 00:02:05,015 Ahoy, me hearty! He's coming. 54 00:02:05,095 --> 00:02:06,535 - Arr! - David? Oh. 55 00:02:06,536 --> 00:02:08,054 - What are you wearing? Sorry. - Hi. 56 00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:10,054 Gordon, this is David, allergic to dogs. 57 00:02:10,055 --> 00:02:11,054 - Gordon. - Hey! 58 00:02:11,055 --> 00:02:12,614 G'day. Good to meet you, finally. 59 00:02:12,615 --> 00:02:15,175 - David. Hello. - Hey. How you doing? 60 00:02:15,255 --> 00:02:16,825 - Good. - Sorry about the get-up. 61 00:02:16,855 --> 00:02:17,905 I'm just, um... 62 00:02:17,906 --> 00:02:19,294 I'm trying to limit the contact 63 00:02:19,295 --> 00:02:21,055 with, uh, the dander in the fur. 64 00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:22,895 - That's really toxic. - The... 65 00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,054 - The dander. - The dander? 66 00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:25,054 - [David] Yeah. - Oh. 67 00:02:25,055 --> 00:02:26,374 - And the saliva. - Oh, right. 68 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,655 Both really, um, get to me, so... 69 00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:29,975 Did you need all that? 70 00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:31,134 Yeah, I'm just trying to be... 71 00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,334 - This is him, is it? - Yes. 72 00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:34,495 - This is the famous Colin. - Hello, Colin! 73 00:02:34,496 --> 00:02:36,054 - [Laughs] - He's not that scary. 74 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,215 No! 75 00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:38,815 - Hi! - [Ashley] Okay. 76 00:02:38,816 --> 00:02:40,134 Oh, you don't have to touch him. 77 00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:41,454 - Don't worry about it. - [Splutters] 78 00:02:41,455 --> 00:02:43,015 Don't push yourself, you know? 79 00:02:43,055 --> 00:02:44,105 Okay. Oh, no! 80 00:02:44,106 --> 00:02:46,134 - What's wrong? - You right? 81 00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:47,374 - It's happening. - [Gordon] Oh, Jesus. 82 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,135 [David] I knew it. Oh, God! 83 00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:50,265 [David exhales] 84 00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,975 Darl, are you all right? 85 00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:53,105 Uh... 86 00:02:53,135 --> 00:02:54,535 [Water squirts] 87 00:02:54,615 --> 00:02:55,975 [David groans] 88 00:02:56,055 --> 00:02:57,105 [Gargles] 89 00:02:58,055 --> 00:02:59,975 It's okay. I'm just gonna be over here. 90 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,935 - Yeah. - No worries. 91 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,695 He must have a lot of dander. 92 00:03:03,775 --> 00:03:05,575 [Gordon] Yeah, the dander. 93 00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:09,135 Don't. He's rea... He's really allergic. 94 00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:10,855 I didn't say anything. He's nice. 95 00:03:10,935 --> 00:03:12,215 He is really sweet, yeah. 96 00:03:12,216 --> 00:03:15,054 - You been together long or...? - Yeah, two and a half years. 97 00:03:15,055 --> 00:03:16,655 Okay. Oh, wow. Serious. 98 00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:18,975 Yeah, it's pretty ser... pretty serious. 99 00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:20,054 - All right. - How about you? 100 00:03:20,055 --> 00:03:21,295 Do you have a... 101 00:03:21,296 --> 00:03:23,054 [Comical voice] ..girlfriend, boyfriend? 102 00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:25,054 Uh, me? Yeah. Yeah, I've got a girlfriend. 103 00:03:25,055 --> 00:03:26,054 [Regular voice] Oh, really? 104 00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:27,975 - Ha-ha. Wow. - Yeah. 105 00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:29,855 Uh, Chelsea, she's a lawyer. 106 00:03:29,856 --> 00:03:31,054 Uh, been together about a year. 107 00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:32,094 This is good! 108 00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:34,145 Yeah, you've got a girlfriend. I've got a... 109 00:03:34,146 --> 00:03:35,174 Beekeeper. 110 00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:36,255 - Don't. - Sorry. 111 00:03:36,335 --> 00:03:37,975 I'm just saying, this is good. 112 00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:39,695 I'm relieved, actually. 113 00:03:39,696 --> 00:03:40,774 - Oh. - You've got... 114 00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:42,574 Yeah, we can be friends. We can be mates. 115 00:03:42,575 --> 00:03:44,135 - So now that we are mates... - Yes. 116 00:03:44,215 --> 00:03:46,815 ..um, why don't you guys come to my birthday party? 117 00:03:46,816 --> 00:03:49,094 - Oh, is it your birthday? - Yeah, in a few days. Yeah. 118 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,054 And, uh, I know we never got to my birthday 119 00:03:51,055 --> 00:03:53,294 when you and I were together, but I seem to remember 120 00:03:53,295 --> 00:03:55,014 celebrating your birthday almost constantly. 121 00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:56,054 Shut up. 122 00:03:56,055 --> 00:03:58,215 Why don't you come? If he makes it. 123 00:03:58,295 --> 00:04:00,135 [Gargles, splutters] 124 00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:02,054 Chelsea's organizing it. It's gonna be at the brewery. 125 00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:04,374 Yeah. You'll get to see everyone again. It'll be fun. 126 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:07,455 Everyone? Oh, God. Okay. [Laughs awkwardly] 127 00:04:07,535 --> 00:04:08,815 Should I go? 128 00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:10,975 Should I go, Collywobbles? 129 00:04:11,055 --> 00:04:13,215 Um, yeah, I'll think about it. 130 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,735 Hey, unrelated... 131 00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:18,975 Was that you I saw at the brewery the other day? 132 00:04:18,976 --> 00:04:20,054 When? 133 00:04:20,055 --> 00:04:21,574 It was the same day we met, actually. 134 00:04:21,575 --> 00:04:22,975 Later that day. Was that you? 135 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,415 - A few days ago? - Ooh. No. No, no, no. 136 00:04:25,495 --> 00:04:27,175 - Outside the brewery? - No. 137 00:04:27,255 --> 00:04:28,775 - In a car? - Car? 138 00:04:28,855 --> 00:04:29,975 With wine? 139 00:04:30,055 --> 00:04:33,375 I'm off the grog right now, so it wasn't me. 140 00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:35,694 - Oh. I must have got that wrong. - [David] Hey, Ash. 141 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:37,975 I think my throat's closing over. 142 00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:40,295 [Gags and retches] 143 00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:43,334 You've got to go. His throat's closing over. 144 00:04:43,335 --> 00:04:45,334 Yeah, I've got to drive him. He's on his L's. 145 00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:47,095 - He's on his L's? - Shut up. 146 00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,335 [Theme music] 147 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:11,815 [Gordon] Hey, Bretty boy. 148 00:05:11,816 --> 00:05:14,054 I want to tell you something. 149 00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:16,054 I just want to get ahead of something, okay? 150 00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:18,105 Um, I'm going to tell you in confidence, 151 00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,695 and I don't... you're not allowed to hit me. 152 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:21,814 Okay? 153 00:05:21,815 --> 00:05:23,894 - You invited Ash, didn't you? - Yes, I did. 154 00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:25,694 No, no, no, no! She's bringing her boyfriend! 155 00:05:25,695 --> 00:05:27,334 - I'm gonna hit you. - She's bringing her boyfriend! 156 00:05:27,335 --> 00:05:29,535 Got a boyfriend, yeah, okay? So it's fine. 157 00:05:29,615 --> 00:05:32,735 We can be mates. So it's above board, mate. It's all fine. 158 00:05:32,736 --> 00:05:34,054 - Real talk, Gordo? - Yeah. 159 00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,985 - When she left you... - It was mutual, man. 160 00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:37,254 She left you, all right? 161 00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:39,054 And I've never seen you like that before. 162 00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:40,255 And I never want to again. 163 00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:41,345 You won't, man. 164 00:05:41,346 --> 00:05:43,054 As long as I've known you, Gordon, 165 00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:45,054 you've always been great with the ladies, yeah? 166 00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,535 You're like the Ronda Rousey of relationships. 167 00:05:47,536 --> 00:05:49,054 - Is that a UFC reference? - Yeah. 168 00:05:49,055 --> 00:05:51,054 Again, I don't get those references, man. 169 00:05:51,055 --> 00:05:53,495 - Ronda Rousey was undefeated. - Okay. 170 00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:55,745 - Her armbar's legendary. - I get it, I get it. 171 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,494 Until she met Holly Holm, "The Preacher's Daughter." 172 00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,295 Point is, yep, I'm Ronda Rousey, um, Ash is Holly Holm. 173 00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:02,614 Yes, she destroyed my confidence. 174 00:06:02,615 --> 00:06:04,374 - She took my heavyweight title. - Bantamweight. 175 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,935 Bantamweight. Fuckin', I get it. 176 00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:08,094 It's fine, though. We're mates. She's coming. It's all good. 177 00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:10,215 We're mates. Everyone fuckin' relax. 178 00:06:12,135 --> 00:06:13,455 And, Bretty? 179 00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:16,415 Mate, if you hit me again, I'm gonna hit you back. 180 00:06:16,495 --> 00:06:18,815 - Okay. - Oh, okay. Fuckin'... 181 00:06:19,815 --> 00:06:20,975 But it's there. Yeah. 182 00:06:21,055 --> 00:06:22,735 - We're good? - We're good. 183 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:23,865 I love you. 184 00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:24,945 Love you too. Okay? 185 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,694 But just... just don't poke the bear. 186 00:06:26,695 --> 00:06:28,055 - All right? - Cool. 187 00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:30,695 [Lighthearted music] 188 00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,055 Hi. I'm Ashley. 189 00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,975 [Giggles] Thank you, I am fun. 190 00:06:35,055 --> 00:06:36,655 But I'm also a medical doctor. 191 00:06:36,735 --> 00:06:39,255 How do I know Gordon? We went out. 192 00:06:39,256 --> 00:06:41,054 It was short, but very meaningful. 193 00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:44,135 He's still in love with me. He's fuckin' obsessed with me. 194 00:06:44,215 --> 00:06:45,855 Can I look at your rash? 195 00:06:45,935 --> 00:06:47,695 Not right now. I'm at a party. 196 00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:50,295 Meggles! 197 00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:53,895 I'm overthinking it, aren't I? 198 00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:55,254 Is this a good party outfit? 199 00:06:55,255 --> 00:06:56,695 Is it a kids' party? 200 00:06:56,696 --> 00:06:57,774 Fuck! 201 00:06:57,775 --> 00:06:59,014 Okay, it's really important 202 00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,415 Gordon sees how hot you are. 203 00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:03,295 Firm agree. I had a dream about him last night. 204 00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:04,895 And... and we were on a beach, 205 00:07:04,896 --> 00:07:06,574 and I did a cartwheel in a bikini, 206 00:07:06,575 --> 00:07:09,175 and I looked so fuckin' good. 207 00:07:09,255 --> 00:07:12,095 Was it, like, your body or a dream body? 208 00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:13,495 Yes, it was my body. 209 00:07:13,496 --> 00:07:15,054 Oh, well, you know, sometimes it's... 210 00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,575 Yeah, okay. My tits were bigger. 211 00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:18,345 - Fuck off. - What's this, though? 212 00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:20,615 You look like you just got out of a cult. 213 00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:22,055 Fuckin' hell, man. 214 00:07:22,135 --> 00:07:23,255 Get it off. 215 00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:25,575 I need you to come with me. I need a wingman. 216 00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:26,975 No. You've got David. 217 00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,454 No, because he's coming after his fish market trial. 218 00:07:29,455 --> 00:07:31,575 He'll be late. Can't Rumi put Genre down? 219 00:07:31,655 --> 00:07:34,495 [Whispers] I don't trust her to put him down. 220 00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:35,975 I'm sorry? 221 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,215 How did you hear that? 222 00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:39,045 No, it's not that I don't trust you. 223 00:07:39,055 --> 00:07:40,495 I can put him down, babe. 224 00:07:40,575 --> 00:07:44,015 Yeah, I know you can. It's just he's used to me doing it. 225 00:07:44,016 --> 00:07:45,894 Yeah, because you never let me do it. 226 00:07:45,895 --> 00:07:46,974 Is "put him down" right? 227 00:07:46,975 --> 00:07:48,054 - That is not true. - Sounds wrong. 228 00:07:48,055 --> 00:07:49,174 [Rumi] Meggles, for fuck's sake... 229 00:07:49,175 --> 00:07:51,134 - Like, put him down. - ..I can put our boy down. 230 00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:52,534 And yes, Ash, that's the correct parlance. 231 00:07:52,535 --> 00:07:54,814 - What the fuck are you wearing? - Party clothes! 232 00:07:54,815 --> 00:07:56,695 Don't get mad at me. You're mad at her. 233 00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:58,175 Babe, listen. 234 00:07:58,255 --> 00:08:02,015 Babe, I just want you to relax, okay? Okay? 235 00:08:02,095 --> 00:08:07,095 I want you to let me help you. I want you to have a fun night. 236 00:08:07,175 --> 00:08:08,975 Yeah, come have a fun night. 237 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,335 I won't be any fun, Ash. 238 00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:12,255 I'm not, like, a party girl anymore. 239 00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:13,895 I don't even drink anymore. 240 00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,175 Please? 241 00:08:15,255 --> 00:08:19,335 I guess I could do, like, a "mama's first night out post." 242 00:08:19,336 --> 00:08:20,214 Ew. 243 00:08:20,215 --> 00:08:22,025 - Let's do a "get ready with me." - Ahh. 244 00:08:22,055 --> 00:08:23,815 Yes, actually, this is good. 245 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:25,375 - No, this is good. - Yeah. 246 00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:29,615 - [Soul music] - [Guests chatter] 247 00:08:29,616 --> 00:08:32,294 Hey, darling, can you just maybe make sure the people over there 248 00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:34,055 get it as well? 249 00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:39,014 - I'm a brewery boy. - [Laughs] 250 00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:40,254 Going out with a brewery boy, yeah. 251 00:08:40,255 --> 00:08:41,525 - Yeah. - Happy birthday! 252 00:08:41,535 --> 00:08:43,975 Thanks, babe. Yeah, well, she threw this for me. 253 00:08:44,055 --> 00:08:46,575 [Soul music continues] 254 00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,215 I'm gonna go find Gordy. 255 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,495 Where is he? Where's Gordon? 256 00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:52,145 - Could be good. - [Gordon] Yeah. 257 00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:54,054 Excuse me, sir. This is the dick police. 258 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,014 There's been a report that your dick's fucking way too small! 259 00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:58,174 - Cunt! - Okay. Fuckin' hell, man. 260 00:08:58,175 --> 00:09:00,615 - Huh? - Sorry. You're a cockhead. 261 00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:02,534 - Happy birthday, cuntstick. - Mate! 262 00:09:02,535 --> 00:09:04,934 Why'd you come here for? You didn't have to come for this. 263 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,054 What are you fucking talking about? It's your birthday. 264 00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:09,054 - You'd do the same for me. - No, I wouldn't, mate. 265 00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:10,134 I've missed heaps of your birthdays. 266 00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,375 Yeah, I know, 267 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,054 'cause you're the fucking shitter brother, aren't you? 268 00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:14,454 - Hey? - Okay. All right, here we go. 269 00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:16,054 - Oh, thanks, mate. Cheers. - Cheers. 270 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,165 Plus, it gets me away from fuckin' Katie, 271 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,014 who's all "perimenopausal this, perimenopausal that." 272 00:09:21,015 --> 00:09:22,165 - Mm-hm. - Is it just me? 273 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,254 Or did that shit start a couple of years ago? 274 00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:25,254 It's just you. 275 00:09:25,255 --> 00:09:26,654 Remember when Mummy got a bit weird 276 00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:28,825 and she just hit the rieslings a bit harder 277 00:09:28,855 --> 00:09:30,295 and she fucking got on with it. 278 00:09:30,296 --> 00:09:32,814 You should start a podcast, man. Real Joe Rogan vibes. 279 00:09:32,815 --> 00:09:33,975 - Yeah? - Yeah. 280 00:09:33,976 --> 00:09:35,454 Thanks, man. That's really nice. 281 00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:37,325 - Oh, you got it, man. - Is Ash here yet? 282 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,255 - I don't think so, no. - Fuck! 283 00:09:39,335 --> 00:09:41,775 Ash and Chels at the same party. 284 00:09:41,776 --> 00:09:42,694 It's fine. 285 00:09:42,695 --> 00:09:44,054 That's some fucking big balls, cunt. 286 00:09:44,055 --> 00:09:46,054 That's some big motherfucking testes, son. 287 00:09:46,055 --> 00:09:47,054 Okay. 288 00:09:47,055 --> 00:09:48,814 That's some fucking big balls on toast. 289 00:09:48,815 --> 00:09:51,054 - Keep it down, mate. - I'm gonna circulate, big balls. 290 00:09:51,055 --> 00:09:52,105 I'll see you soon. 291 00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:54,775 Um... 292 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,055 Yes. Uh... 293 00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:57,174 - Stocks. - Mm-hm. 294 00:09:57,175 --> 00:09:58,455 - Shares? - Mm-hm. 295 00:09:58,456 --> 00:09:59,574 - Market. - Mmm. 296 00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:00,374 Yes. 297 00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:03,015 Fuck. Oh, my God. [Laughs nervously] 298 00:10:03,095 --> 00:10:05,215 This was a mistake. Why did we come? 299 00:10:05,295 --> 00:10:06,815 Good. Let's go. 300 00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:08,054 Is should get back to Genre. 301 00:10:08,055 --> 00:10:10,695 No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Let's stay. 302 00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,035 [David] Hey, just in time. 303 00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:13,214 - [Ashley] Hi. - Oh, my God. David! 304 00:10:13,215 --> 00:10:14,894 [Ashley] Oh, shit, David! What the fuck? 305 00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,035 A bit too fishy for you? 306 00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:18,295 Too fishy for anyone. Didn't you shower? 307 00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:21,895 I'm sorry. I didn't want to be late. It's not that bad, is it? 308 00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:22,854 - It's bad! - Hey. 309 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,785 - Smells really bad. - Hey, there she is. 310 00:10:24,815 --> 00:10:26,775 - Hi! - Hi. Ahh! 311 00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:28,694 - Meggles, how are you? - Bretty, how are you, mate? 312 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,294 [Megan] It's so nice to see you, mate. 313 00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:33,054 Yeah, good to see you too. And this must be your boyfriend. 314 00:10:33,055 --> 00:10:34,054 [Sniffs] Fish? 315 00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:35,494 David. How are you? Good to see you. 316 00:10:35,495 --> 00:10:36,734 - Good you're here, mate. - Cool. 317 00:10:36,735 --> 00:10:37,534 Good you're here. 318 00:10:37,535 --> 00:10:39,094 - [Chiara] Ashley, hey. - Hey, Chi. 319 00:10:39,095 --> 00:10:41,695 How are you? Going good. Yeah. Good. [laughs] 320 00:10:41,696 --> 00:10:44,214 Hi. Too busy to say hello to your first lesbian girlfriend. 321 00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:46,054 - Oh, sorry, Chi. How are you? - Hello! 322 00:10:46,055 --> 00:10:47,414 It's just I'm checking on Genre. 323 00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:49,054 It's actually my first night away. 324 00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:50,495 - Shondra? - Genre. 325 00:10:50,575 --> 00:10:52,975 - Uh-huh. - It means 'origin' or 'kind'. 326 00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:55,215 Oh. And that is a child? 327 00:10:55,295 --> 00:10:56,975 - Yep. - Oh, congratula... 328 00:10:56,976 --> 00:10:58,214 Fuck, something smells... 329 00:10:58,215 --> 00:10:59,894 Something smells like a dead mermaid's vagina. 330 00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:03,095 [Laughs] No. I'm David. I'm Ashley's bloke. 331 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,734 I've just been at the fish market. 332 00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,534 Oh. All good. Don't need to hug right now. 333 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:07,814 We're gonna get a little drinkie. Please. 334 00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:09,614 - That'd be a good idea. - Go to the bar. 335 00:11:09,615 --> 00:11:12,535 Very handsome. And very smelly. 336 00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:13,855 Yeah. 337 00:11:13,935 --> 00:11:17,095 Anyway, being a mum is just, like, so full-on. 338 00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,335 You have no idea. 339 00:11:18,415 --> 00:11:20,975 Oh, I have some idea. I had three under five. 340 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,335 - How old is she? - He. 341 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,815 - 18 months. - Yeah, um... 342 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,094 It's just, like, you don't realize how hard it's gonna be 343 00:11:26,095 --> 00:11:27,294 every moment, you know, every minute. 344 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,045 - Correct. - What... what do they need? 345 00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:30,494 - Mm-hm. - How... how much has he eaten? 346 00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:32,005 - Mm-hm. - Has he slept enough? 347 00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:34,055 It is... It's, like, relentless, you know. 348 00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:36,975 You... you only have one, though. You've just got the one. 349 00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:39,095 He's a toddler, though. And a boy. 350 00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:41,295 So I'm... I'm really in the trenches. 351 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:44,775 I have three actual boys - 13, 11 and 8. 352 00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,054 I mean, I've got trench foot, trench mouth and dysentery. 353 00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:49,054 I'm in the trenches. I think you've forgotten 354 00:11:49,055 --> 00:11:50,455 how hard toddlers are. 355 00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:52,694 Are you on crack? 'Cause I'm considering it. 356 00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:55,775 And you know who I could buy it from? My 11-year-old. 357 00:11:55,855 --> 00:11:56,905 [Gordon] Ashy. 358 00:11:56,935 --> 00:11:58,095 - Oh, hi. - [Gordon] Hey. 359 00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,615 - Hi, Gordie. [Laughs] - Hey. 360 00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:01,134 [Ashley] There he is. Happy birthday. 361 00:12:01,135 --> 00:12:03,455 Hey, thank you. Thanks for coming. 362 00:12:03,535 --> 00:12:05,615 Thank you so much for inviting us. 363 00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:06,935 Yeah, of course. 364 00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,465 Is that salmon? Uh, hey, man. 365 00:12:09,015 --> 00:12:10,215 Yeah, I think, yep, it is. 366 00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,855 Hm. It's not fresh, I tell ya. 367 00:12:11,935 --> 00:12:13,085 - Is it not? - Nuh. Uh-uh. 368 00:12:13,086 --> 00:12:14,774 Doesn't matter. Just say happy birthday, babe. 369 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,334 - Sorry. Happy birthday, mate. - Yeah, thanks, mate. 370 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,415 - Appreciate it. - Oh. 371 00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:18,734 - [Gordon] Oh! - Oh, no, no, no. 372 00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,694 - Come on. That's enough. - Oh, my God! Oh! 373 00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:22,334 I can smell that now. You're right. 374 00:12:22,335 --> 00:12:24,214 - That's off, isn't it? - Who does your fish? 375 00:12:24,215 --> 00:12:25,734 - Did you eat this? - Oh, it's okay. 376 00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:28,054 I could eat a day-old prawn out of a dirty ashtray. 377 00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:29,054 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 378 00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,215 - Iron gut? - Yeah. 379 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,334 - Feel it. - Ha-ha! 380 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:32,534 - No, feel it. - It's all right. 381 00:12:32,535 --> 00:12:34,054 He can't. He's got no free hands. 382 00:12:34,055 --> 00:12:36,095 Throw that out. It's disgus... It's off. 383 00:12:36,175 --> 00:12:37,695 Can I just say, 384 00:12:37,696 --> 00:12:40,054 I think it's really sweet you guys have reconnected. 385 00:12:40,055 --> 00:12:41,255 Thanks. 386 00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,975 I'm still really close to my ex. 387 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,695 Yeah, right. [Sniffs] 388 00:12:44,696 --> 00:12:47,054 I'm sorry. That... that salmon's really hanging around, isn't it? 389 00:12:47,055 --> 00:12:48,174 - [Ashley] Yes. - That's terrible. 390 00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,415 You know what? Hey, just, you circulate. 391 00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,294 Got lots of people to talk to, birthday boy. 392 00:12:52,295 --> 00:12:53,494 - I'll find you later. - Okay. 393 00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:55,134 - Let's have a drink. Come on. - Good to see you. 394 00:12:55,135 --> 00:12:57,054 - Good to see you. - Wanna try some of your beers. 395 00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,745 - Yeah, all right. Yeah, do! - Yeah. 396 00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:02,975 I'm saying you got big balls, cunt! 397 00:13:03,055 --> 00:13:05,535 - Shut up, mate. - Big balls! 398 00:13:05,615 --> 00:13:06,975 Still alive or... 399 00:13:07,055 --> 00:13:09,975 S-sorry Chi. It's just... he usually goes down early. 400 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,415 - No, no. - Chi, can you not? 401 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,094 I'm sure he's great, but no one wants to talk about your kid. 402 00:13:14,095 --> 00:13:15,094 - You're really boring now. - What? 403 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,694 You've forgotten how to be at a party. 404 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:20,055 - Ask me a fucking question. - Oh, sorry. Fuck. 405 00:13:20,135 --> 00:13:21,815 Um, okay. 406 00:13:23,055 --> 00:13:24,295 [Exhales] How are you? 407 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,975 Oh, thanks for asking. I'm really good. I've got ADHD. 408 00:13:26,976 --> 00:13:28,654 - You've always had that. - No, that's new. 409 00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:29,454 [Megan] Hmm. 410 00:13:29,455 --> 00:13:31,054 Uh, Andre and I got back together. 411 00:13:31,055 --> 00:13:32,294 - What? - Which was great. 412 00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,575 Until it wasn't. And, uh, now we are open. 413 00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:36,735 - Holy shit! - Yeah. 414 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:37,895 - Really? - Yeah. 415 00:13:37,896 --> 00:13:40,294 Well, what's that like? I mean, Rumi's pretty curious. 416 00:13:40,295 --> 00:13:42,895 It's pretty great, actually. Yeah. 417 00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:44,974 And the hardest thing about having an open relationship 418 00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,054 is organizing child care. 419 00:13:46,055 --> 00:13:47,614 Hmm! Oh, my God. Tell me about it. 420 00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:49,735 - If I just want an hour... - Stop. 421 00:13:49,736 --> 00:13:51,414 - Just one hour... - I'm telling you about it. 422 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,174 You're listening. You've got your listening ears on. 423 00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:55,975 [Guests laugh and chatter] 424 00:13:55,976 --> 00:13:57,854 - What are you drinking there? - [Guest] Uh... 425 00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:00,175 Well, I mean, they are gonna be bankrupt 426 00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:01,334 when you're done with them. 427 00:14:01,335 --> 00:14:03,095 [Laughs] I am all in. 428 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,655 You have a good night, okay? 429 00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:06,574 - Thanks, Tobes. Thanks again. - Knock 'em dead. 430 00:14:06,575 --> 00:14:08,855 - Stop it! [Laughs] - [Ashley chuckles] 431 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,295 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Can I just fix that? 432 00:14:12,095 --> 00:14:14,255 Hi. You must be Chelsea. Hello. 433 00:14:14,335 --> 00:14:16,615 Hello! Um, what's your name? 434 00:14:16,695 --> 00:14:17,745 Ashley. 435 00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:19,615 Ashley. Hello, Ashley. 436 00:14:19,695 --> 00:14:21,815 Thanks so much for organizing this. 437 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,455 Oh, yeah. Of course. 438 00:14:23,456 --> 00:14:25,254 - [Woman] Chelsea! - Hi, darling. Hi. 439 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,694 - [Chelsea laughs] - [Woman] Nice to see you. 440 00:14:26,695 --> 00:14:29,655 Yeah. It's so good to see Heavy again. 441 00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,215 - Ohh. Good. - Yeah. 442 00:14:31,295 --> 00:14:33,615 We always got on so well. [Laughs] 443 00:14:33,695 --> 00:14:34,855 [Laughs awkwardly] 444 00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:37,815 - Hmm. - [Chelsea] Hmm! 445 00:14:39,055 --> 00:14:40,975 Did Dawn, um, come up? 446 00:14:41,055 --> 00:14:43,575 Uh, no. No. She was unable to. 447 00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:44,705 Oh, shame. 448 00:14:44,775 --> 00:14:47,135 Oh, my gosh. Stop it! 449 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,334 - Get out of here. [Laughs] - [Woman] You stop it. 450 00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:51,975 I was there when Brian died. 451 00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:53,134 Yeah. [Laughs awkwardly] 452 00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,734 Yeah, when he passed away, I was there. 453 00:14:54,735 --> 00:14:56,534 - It was terrible. - Oh, no, it's... Yeah. 454 00:14:56,535 --> 00:15:00,055 Such a shock. Like, for everyone. 455 00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:02,455 - Yeah. I'm sure that was. Yeah. - Yeah. 456 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,455 So, I was, uh, actually there. 457 00:15:04,535 --> 00:15:07,975 Like, I was physically there next to Gordon. 458 00:15:08,055 --> 00:15:09,375 - Oh, really? - Yes. 459 00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:10,975 'Cause I was his girlfriend. 460 00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:12,215 - Oh. Oh, yes. - Yeah. 461 00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:13,294 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. 462 00:15:13,295 --> 00:15:14,734 - At the time. - That makes total sense. 463 00:15:14,735 --> 00:15:16,054 Yeah. We were boyfriend-girlfriend. 464 00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:17,214 [Laughs falsely] Anyway, I'm sorry. 465 00:15:17,215 --> 00:15:19,445 If you'll excuse me, I have to go feed the dog. 466 00:15:19,455 --> 00:15:20,975 - Oh, Colin's here? - Yeah. 467 00:15:20,976 --> 00:15:24,054 Yeah, he's in the office because someone's allergic, apparently. 468 00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:25,735 Oh, are they? Yeah. Well, I can... 469 00:15:25,815 --> 00:15:27,215 You're busy. I can feed him. 470 00:15:27,216 --> 00:15:29,054 Oh, no, that's fine. He needs medicine. 471 00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:30,175 I know. 472 00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:32,095 Yeah, but he's just a bit nervous. 473 00:15:32,175 --> 00:15:34,815 He doesn't... he doesn't take food from just anyone. 474 00:15:34,895 --> 00:15:36,975 I'm not just anyone. 475 00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:38,295 No. Of course not. 476 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:41,015 - You are Ashley. - That's it. 477 00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:42,295 - Yeah. - Yes. 478 00:15:42,296 --> 00:15:44,054 - Anyway, have a good night! - Oh, you too. 479 00:15:44,055 --> 00:15:45,385 - Nice to meet you. - Uh-huh. 480 00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:49,975 # It's time to let, let go... # 481 00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:52,575 - # Let go, let go... # - [Sighs] 482 00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:54,375 # Let go It's time to let... # 483 00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:56,134 - [Toilet roll holder thuds] - Fucking great. 484 00:15:56,135 --> 00:15:57,694 - # It's time to let go... # - Ashy, is that you? 485 00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:01,135 [Gasps] Meggles. Oh, my God. This is rough, hey? 486 00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:02,295 - Is it? - Yeah. 487 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,094 - Can I have some toilet paper? - Hm. 488 00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:07,135 Boo, I just met Chelsea, Gordon's new girlfriend. 489 00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:08,415 - Yeah. - Yeah. 490 00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:11,025 She's so fucking beautiful, I want to kill myself. 491 00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:12,215 I bet she isn't. 492 00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:15,775 She is. And she's, like, fucking crazy confident. 493 00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:19,095 She's like a hot robot of an old movie star. 494 00:16:19,175 --> 00:16:21,815 I look like a fucking homeless person next to her. 495 00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:24,054 A person currently experiencing houselessness? 496 00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:26,975 Not even. Just a full homeless person. 497 00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,255 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 498 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,255 And her eye contact was, like, fucking crazy. 499 00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:33,374 She was, like, staring at the back of my head. 500 00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:35,094 I felt like all my clothes fell off. 501 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,215 Jesus. 502 00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,975 I don't even think she's ever heard of me. 503 00:16:39,055 --> 00:16:40,255 No?! 504 00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:41,615 - Yeah. - [Door opens] 505 00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:44,655 Do number twos at home, thanks. I don't want to hear it. 506 00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:45,785 Mum? 507 00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,134 [Lynelle] Oh, there you are. 508 00:16:47,135 --> 00:16:48,855 What the fuck? 509 00:16:48,935 --> 00:16:52,095 Oh, they discontinued this lipstick. I'm devastated. 510 00:16:52,175 --> 00:16:55,655 Mum, it is so inappropriate that you are here. 511 00:16:55,735 --> 00:16:58,495 I could say the same, Ashley Marie. 512 00:16:58,575 --> 00:17:00,655 No, you couldn't, because he invited me. 513 00:17:00,656 --> 00:17:01,814 What are you doing here? 514 00:17:01,815 --> 00:17:04,335 Well, Megan posted on her Insta stories. 515 00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:07,175 - [Toilet flushes] - Hello, Lynelle. 516 00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:10,294 I didn't realize you still followed me. 517 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,175 Oh, hello, Megan. 518 00:17:13,255 --> 00:17:14,775 How's your dad? 519 00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:17,654 Why don't you return his calls and find out? 520 00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:19,695 I don't think there's much more to say. 521 00:17:19,696 --> 00:17:20,934 He doesn't feel that way. 522 00:17:20,935 --> 00:17:21,934 [Sighs] 523 00:17:21,935 --> 00:17:24,494 [Lynelle] Has anybody met Gordon's new girlfriend? 524 00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:28,975 She's so elegant, and her skin is amazing. 525 00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:32,855 Oh, you never stood a chance with all your sun damage. 526 00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:34,255 Mum, it's freckles. 527 00:17:34,256 --> 00:17:36,054 They're freckles when you're a child, darling. 528 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,895 At your age, it's sun damage. 529 00:17:39,255 --> 00:17:42,015 # Yeah, yeah, yeah-hey # 530 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,934 I nearly went with Trout of This World. 531 00:17:43,935 --> 00:17:44,974 [Chiara] Uh-huh. 532 00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:46,615 But actually I've ended up with... 533 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,815 "Benefit of the Trout." 534 00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:51,055 [Laughs] Yeah. 535 00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:53,895 Did you consider, um, Shadow of a Trout? 536 00:17:53,975 --> 00:17:56,135 Mmm. But... no. 537 00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,654 - [Alistair] Out and A-trout? - Uh-uh. 538 00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,174 - [Chiara] Trout of Control? - Uhh. 539 00:17:59,175 --> 00:18:00,294 - Trout for a Duck? - Mm. 540 00:18:00,295 --> 00:18:02,214 [Chiara] Trout, Trout, Let It All Out? 541 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,335 - No Diggity, No Trout? - Uh-uh. 542 00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:05,775 I don't know what that is. 543 00:18:05,855 --> 00:18:08,385 [Chiara] Standing on the Trout-side Looking In? 544 00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:10,975 You've already done that hand. 545 00:18:10,976 --> 00:18:12,134 [Alistair] Yeah, that's done that. 546 00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:13,374 - [Chiara] You did that one. - Yeah. 547 00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:15,135 Yeah, that's well clean. 548 00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:16,495 [Dance music] 549 00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:17,775 - Gordon? - Present. 550 00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:19,005 - Sorry. [laughs] - Hey. 551 00:18:19,006 --> 00:18:20,054 Hi. 552 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,814 Um, sorry, there's no one at the bar, 553 00:18:21,815 --> 00:18:25,495 and Mum would like some chablis or albarin?o. 554 00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:26,655 Lynelle is here? 555 00:18:26,735 --> 00:18:27,855 Of course. 556 00:18:27,935 --> 00:18:29,295 Yeah, of course she is. 557 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,535 Um, I might have. Do you want to... I'll just check. 558 00:18:32,615 --> 00:18:33,665 [Box thuds] 559 00:18:36,335 --> 00:18:37,655 Um... 560 00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:39,415 Ooh. Chilly. 561 00:18:39,495 --> 00:18:41,375 - Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? - Mmm. 562 00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:43,574 You, uh, having fun at your old mate's party? 563 00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:44,374 I am. 564 00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:45,854 Good. Told you we could be mates. 565 00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:47,854 - I know we could be mates. - Door's closing, door's closing. 566 00:18:47,855 --> 00:18:49,294 - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! - [Door slams] 567 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,414 - [Timer buzzes] - [Gordon] Fuck it. 568 00:18:50,415 --> 00:18:52,054 - [Ashley] Oh! - Oh, sorry, it's on a timer. 569 00:18:52,055 --> 00:18:53,214 [Ashley] Oh, my God, you're joking. 570 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,014 [Gordon] No. It happens six times a day. 571 00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:56,054 It's fine. I'll just text Chi. 572 00:18:56,055 --> 00:18:57,854 - [Ashley] Where's your phone? - I left it here. 573 00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:58,905 [Objects clatter] 574 00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,215 [Gordon] Uh, somewhere. 575 00:19:01,095 --> 00:19:02,655 Um... [Speaks indistinctly] 576 00:19:02,656 --> 00:19:04,454 - Hey, there you are. - [Ashley] Sorry. 577 00:19:04,455 --> 00:19:07,015 # Can you make me feel all right? # 578 00:19:07,095 --> 00:19:09,375 # Tonight... # 579 00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:10,775 [Lips smack] 580 00:19:10,855 --> 00:19:13,015 # I'll dream forever... # 581 00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:14,975 [Phone chimes] 582 00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:16,615 # Midnight... # 583 00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:18,054 - [Ashley laughs nervously] - Yeah. 584 00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:20,895 [Dance music continues] 585 00:19:20,896 --> 00:19:22,294 Well, around the base of the beak, 586 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,734 if you press through from the other side with your thumbs 587 00:19:24,735 --> 00:19:28,135 and you just push it through, then the beak fully comes out. 588 00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:30,975 Octopuses have beaks? 589 00:19:30,976 --> 00:19:32,854 Yeah, and if you bake them for an hour, 590 00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:34,255 they taste like a chip. 591 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,494 Do you know that octopuses 592 00:19:35,495 --> 00:19:37,735 are at least as intelligent as Labradors? 593 00:19:37,815 --> 00:19:39,015 Fuck off. 594 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,735 I'd never eat a Labrador. 595 00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:42,295 You ever been to China? 596 00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:44,254 You get what you're given there, mate. 597 00:19:44,255 --> 00:19:45,254 - I haven't. - [Phone chimes] 598 00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:46,574 But I have eaten some weird things. 599 00:19:46,575 --> 00:19:48,134 Oh! Gordy's locked in the cool room. 600 00:19:48,135 --> 00:19:49,405 - [Alistair] Is he? - Yep. 601 00:19:49,406 --> 00:19:51,214 I'm gonna have to go. I'll leave you here. 602 00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:52,414 No, I'll take care of that. 603 00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:53,814 - No, no, that's... - No, no, I insist. 604 00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:55,685 - No, I insist. It's my phone. - I insist. 605 00:19:55,686 --> 00:19:57,134 - He might need me. - It's all good. 606 00:19:57,135 --> 00:19:58,934 - Chi, I'm putting my foot down. - Are ya? 607 00:19:58,935 --> 00:20:00,295 - I'm insisting. - Are ya? 608 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,975 - I've eaten, uh, crocodile. - Mm-hm. Yeah. 609 00:20:03,055 --> 00:20:04,135 - Frogs. - Oh. 610 00:20:04,215 --> 00:20:07,295 - Um, tarantula in Cambodia. - Oh. Mm-hm. 611 00:20:07,296 --> 00:20:08,534 Which is like a delicacy. 612 00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:09,805 - A horse, by mistake. - Oh. 613 00:20:09,806 --> 00:20:12,054 That's... [Laughs] That's actually a funny story. 614 00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:13,174 [Gasps] Is it? Go on, then. 615 00:20:13,175 --> 00:20:14,925 Well, I didn't think it was a horse. 616 00:20:14,975 --> 00:20:16,025 - Yep. - But it was. 617 00:20:16,775 --> 00:20:18,975 And then that's the end of the story, is it? 618 00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:20,295 Yep. 619 00:20:21,695 --> 00:20:24,615 [Door clunks and rumbles] 620 00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:27,015 Ahh, I see. 621 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,695 No, you didn't. Nothing to see. 622 00:20:28,775 --> 00:20:30,895 Oh, no, I do. I've got eyes in my head. 623 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,134 - [Gordon] No, you don't. - Hi. 624 00:20:32,135 --> 00:20:35,695 You okay, Ash? All alone here in the dark with Gordon? 625 00:20:35,775 --> 00:20:36,825 Oh, God, yeah. 626 00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:38,295 - Oh. That's nice. - Cool. 627 00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:39,975 Just met your boyfriend. 628 00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:41,615 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 629 00:20:41,695 --> 00:20:42,855 Doesn't smell great, 630 00:20:42,935 --> 00:20:45,855 but at least he's boring and licks his fingers a lot. 631 00:20:45,935 --> 00:20:47,615 - Okay. - Yeah. 632 00:20:47,616 --> 00:20:48,574 Cool, cool. 633 00:20:48,575 --> 00:20:50,975 - After you. - Thank you so much. 634 00:20:51,055 --> 00:20:52,335 That's all right, Ash. 635 00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:55,535 - [Dance music] - [Guests chatter] 636 00:20:55,615 --> 00:20:59,095 I mean, men have been playing second fiddle for too long. 637 00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:01,054 - Yeah, right. - They've lost their voice. 638 00:21:01,055 --> 00:21:02,855 Yeah, sure, I guess. 639 00:21:02,935 --> 00:21:04,255 And that's not right. 640 00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,975 - Big, strong alpha like you. - Mm-hm. 641 00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:08,935 [Giggles] Do you have a girlfriend? 642 00:21:09,015 --> 00:21:10,975 Yeah, Carmen. It's online. 643 00:21:11,055 --> 00:21:12,975 But we haven't met yet. But, uh... 644 00:21:13,055 --> 00:21:16,535 All the more reason to establish the rules of engagement. 645 00:21:16,615 --> 00:21:17,695 Yeah, right. 646 00:21:17,775 --> 00:21:20,975 You need to say, "I'm the man of the house." 647 00:21:20,976 --> 00:21:22,054 Yeah, right. 648 00:21:22,055 --> 00:21:23,175 Say it! 649 00:21:23,486 --> 00:21:25,374 What? 650 00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,335 Say, "I'm the man of the house." 651 00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:29,015 I'm the man of the house. 652 00:21:29,095 --> 00:21:30,975 - Again. - Again. 653 00:21:30,976 --> 00:21:32,054 No. 654 00:21:32,055 --> 00:21:34,055 Say, "I'm the man of the house" again. 655 00:21:34,135 --> 00:21:35,975 I'm the man of the house again. 656 00:21:36,055 --> 00:21:37,105 No. 657 00:21:37,135 --> 00:21:38,415 [Tapping on microphone] 658 00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:39,374 No? 659 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:43,135 Everyone, if I can have your attention. 660 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,054 - Thank you. - [Ashley speaks indistinctly] 661 00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,054 - [Chelsea] Bit of shush. - Hey, birthday boy. Speech time. 662 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:48,134 - Hey. - A bit of shush, please. 663 00:21:48,135 --> 00:21:49,614 - Should probably go over there. - That's okay. 664 00:21:49,615 --> 00:21:53,895 I, um... I first met Gordon 18 months ago 665 00:21:53,975 --> 00:21:58,695 when we held a work function here at this very brewery. 666 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,415 And so I met this brew head or head brew man. 667 00:22:02,416 --> 00:22:04,494 - Or whatever it's called. - [Guests laugh] 668 00:22:04,495 --> 00:22:09,935 And he says to me, "I am going to kiss you in six minutes." 669 00:22:09,936 --> 00:22:11,454 - [Woman] Oh, no! - [Man] Ooh-hoo! 670 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:14,895 Right? I know! Outrageous. 671 00:22:14,975 --> 00:22:18,095 And I thought, yeah, well, you know, that's very forward. 672 00:22:18,175 --> 00:22:19,855 It's a bit intense, actually. 673 00:22:19,935 --> 00:22:21,975 But then... he did. 674 00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:23,975 - [Guests laugh] - It's a good move. 675 00:22:24,055 --> 00:22:28,655 And then I thought, "Well, there is a man who follows through!" 676 00:22:28,735 --> 00:22:30,775 [Laughs uproariously] 677 00:22:30,855 --> 00:22:35,895 And I thought, "Ah! He's single, no kids, not fat. Unicorn!" 678 00:22:35,975 --> 00:22:38,215 [Laughs] 679 00:22:38,295 --> 00:22:40,575 Oh, my gosh, she's so funny. 680 00:22:40,655 --> 00:22:43,335 [Chelsea] Um, no, seriously, guys. 681 00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:45,895 Gordon, you are a very hardworking 682 00:22:45,975 --> 00:22:47,455 and loyal life partner. 683 00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:51,735 And... I know, we can't always agree what to watch on TV. 684 00:22:51,815 --> 00:22:55,575 But you usually give in and we watch my shows! [Laughs] 685 00:22:55,655 --> 00:22:56,975 [Guests laugh] 686 00:22:57,055 --> 00:22:59,495 I mean, what more could a girl ask for? [Laughs] 687 00:22:59,575 --> 00:23:02,695 Except perhaps a rock on my finger. Hint, hint. 688 00:23:02,775 --> 00:23:03,895 Got it. Got it. 689 00:23:03,896 --> 00:23:04,814 [Chelsea] Got it! 690 00:23:04,815 --> 00:23:06,134 - Love you, Gooby. - [Ashley laughs falsely] 691 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,735 So let's all raise a glass 692 00:23:08,815 --> 00:23:13,975 and wish a very happy birthday to my Gooby, Gordon. 693 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:15,094 [Guests] To Gordon! 694 00:23:15,095 --> 00:23:17,975 - Happy birthday! - [Guests] Happy birthday. 695 00:23:17,976 --> 00:23:19,854 - [Brett] Happy birthday. - Happy birthday. 696 00:23:19,855 --> 00:23:21,294 [Alistair] Come on. I just need a second. 697 00:23:21,295 --> 00:23:22,975 There's no... There's no speeches. 698 00:23:23,055 --> 00:23:25,055 Heavy, Heavy, Heavy. No more speeches. 699 00:23:25,056 --> 00:23:26,174 - Just let... - Okay. 700 00:23:26,175 --> 00:23:27,975 ..me say some words. Come on, Chels. 701 00:23:27,976 --> 00:23:29,294 - [Feedback whines] - Give it to me. 702 00:23:29,295 --> 00:23:30,975 I'll introduce you. Oh, my God! 703 00:23:31,055 --> 00:23:32,175 Hey, look at that. 704 00:23:32,255 --> 00:23:35,775 Everyone, this is, um, Alistair, Gordon's brother! 705 00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,054 - Whoo! - [Guests cheer] 706 00:23:37,055 --> 00:23:38,735 Hand it over. Fuckin' hell, 707 00:23:38,815 --> 00:23:40,415 I had to work hard for that one. 708 00:23:40,416 --> 00:23:41,294 [Mouths words] 709 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,334 [Alistair] Uh, firstly, 710 00:23:42,335 --> 00:23:43,935 a big thanks to Chels 711 00:23:44,015 --> 00:23:45,895 for putting on this do for Flash. 712 00:23:45,896 --> 00:23:47,854 Round of applause, everyone. Come on! 713 00:23:47,855 --> 00:23:48,975 [Guests cheer] 714 00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:51,975 What do you reckon, eh? She spared no expense. 715 00:23:51,976 --> 00:23:53,574 Especially since she got the venue 716 00:23:53,575 --> 00:23:55,855 and all the piss for free. [Laughs] 717 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,935 - [Guests laugh] - Oh, yeah. 718 00:23:59,015 --> 00:24:00,135 Uh, no, no, no. 719 00:24:00,215 --> 00:24:02,255 But, look, in all seriousness... 720 00:24:03,055 --> 00:24:04,255 ..it's just so great 721 00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:06,805 that Flash has just finally found the right girl. 722 00:24:06,855 --> 00:24:09,975 You just know when two people are meant to be together 723 00:24:10,055 --> 00:24:13,535 and they just fully... they fully get each other. 724 00:24:13,615 --> 00:24:16,775 And there's just no doubt about it or anything. 725 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,335 You know, I mean, tonight he's brought Ash. 726 00:24:19,336 --> 00:24:20,254 No. Um... 727 00:24:20,255 --> 00:24:22,015 Chelsea's really cool with it. 728 00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,815 It's just such clean, honest, 729 00:24:24,895 --> 00:24:28,615 open, transparent love. 730 00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:30,974 And everyone's really, really cool about it. 731 00:24:30,975 --> 00:24:34,535 Uh, okay. All right. Well, that's about all from me. 732 00:24:34,615 --> 00:24:37,975 Oh, no. Some words of advice, Flash. 733 00:24:38,055 --> 00:24:42,815 As our dear departed dad said to me on my wedding day... 734 00:24:44,055 --> 00:24:46,895 ..when the river runs red, take the dirt road instead. 735 00:24:46,896 --> 00:24:48,294 - Okay. Thank you. - Am I right? 736 00:24:48,295 --> 00:24:49,694 - [Laughs] - [Alistair] Yeah. That's right. 737 00:24:49,695 --> 00:24:51,734 - [Chelsea] Thank you, Heavy. - That's right! 738 00:24:51,735 --> 00:24:53,895 Let's fucking party! 739 00:24:53,975 --> 00:24:56,975 [Guests cheer] 740 00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,895 - Cheers, mate. - Cheers, mate. 741 00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,495 What a speech. 742 00:25:00,575 --> 00:25:03,295 [Disco music] 743 00:25:09,335 --> 00:25:12,535 # I don't wanna hear about that kind of day you had # 744 00:25:12,615 --> 00:25:16,335 # Or what happened on the job that made you mad # 745 00:25:16,415 --> 00:25:20,215 # Tonight I don't wanna just stay at home # 746 00:25:20,295 --> 00:25:24,095 # Let's find a little club where we can be alone... # 747 00:25:24,175 --> 00:25:25,895 Have you said it? 748 00:25:25,975 --> 00:25:28,135 Like, "I'm the man of the house." 749 00:25:28,215 --> 00:25:31,255 I don't have to say it. I am the man of the house. 750 00:25:31,335 --> 00:25:32,535 Oh. 751 00:25:33,655 --> 00:25:34,975 Yes. 752 00:25:35,055 --> 00:25:36,615 Ooh, I felt that. 753 00:25:37,695 --> 00:25:38,855 You are. 754 00:25:38,935 --> 00:25:40,775 Yeah, I know. 755 00:25:41,366 --> 00:25:43,334 Well done. 756 00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:46,375 # I feel so romantic # 757 00:25:46,455 --> 00:25:50,335 # I want you to whisper in my ear sweet... # 758 00:25:50,336 --> 00:25:52,294 I'm going to get you another drink, Lynelle. 759 00:25:52,295 --> 00:25:54,975 I want that one finished when I get back. 760 00:25:54,976 --> 00:25:56,094 Okay. 761 00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:59,375 # Dance, dance, dance # 762 00:25:59,455 --> 00:26:03,055 # It's been a while since we had a good time # 763 00:26:03,135 --> 00:26:04,975 # So much pressure's been... # 764 00:26:05,055 --> 00:26:06,255 You're so... 765 00:26:07,055 --> 00:26:08,215 ..elegant and tall! 766 00:26:08,295 --> 00:26:11,975 Ah! Thanks. [Laughs] Ohh. 767 00:26:12,055 --> 00:26:13,695 Is your skin care Korean? 768 00:26:13,696 --> 00:26:14,774 It is! 769 00:26:14,775 --> 00:26:15,975 - It is? - Yes! 770 00:26:16,055 --> 00:26:18,055 I knew it! I knew it! 771 00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:20,135 [Guest laughs] 772 00:26:25,055 --> 00:26:27,095 - Hey, drunky, your Uber's here. - Ahh. 773 00:26:27,175 --> 00:26:29,735 - You're not my wife. - You wish. 774 00:26:29,815 --> 00:26:30,975 No. Is that this way? 775 00:26:31,055 --> 00:26:32,895 - Shall we call it? - Yeah. 776 00:26:32,975 --> 00:26:35,975 Hey, Gordon, we're gonna head out. Happy birthday, mate. 777 00:26:36,055 --> 00:26:37,815 Cheers, mate. 778 00:26:37,895 --> 00:26:39,215 Bye. 779 00:26:40,775 --> 00:26:41,975 [Alistair] Flash. Flash. 780 00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:44,454 - [David] Okay, Uberino time. - [Alistair] Happy birthday. 781 00:26:44,455 --> 00:26:46,975 Actually, I might walk home, if you don't mind. 782 00:26:46,976 --> 00:26:49,534 - Oh, I'm happy to walk. - No, no, you Uber. I don't mind. 783 00:26:49,535 --> 00:26:51,895 Hell, no. Let's perambulate. 784 00:26:51,975 --> 00:26:53,095 - [Laughs] - Okay. 785 00:26:53,175 --> 00:26:54,565 - Bye-bye. - [Ashley] Mm-hm. 786 00:26:54,575 --> 00:26:57,775 Thanks for coming, Ashley and David. 787 00:26:57,855 --> 00:26:59,335 [Laughs] 788 00:26:59,336 --> 00:27:01,494 So, I'll just group all of these over here 789 00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:03,294 so it's easy for when you empty the recycling. 790 00:27:03,295 --> 00:27:05,134 It's okay, Chels, I'll do that. I'll do that. 791 00:27:05,135 --> 00:27:06,614 Let's put the cans on this side. 792 00:27:06,615 --> 00:27:08,495 Chelsea, I know how to clean the bar. 793 00:27:08,686 --> 00:27:10,534 What's wrong? 794 00:27:10,535 --> 00:27:12,655 - Oh, nothing. Sorry. - Oh. 795 00:27:12,735 --> 00:27:13,975 - You all right? - Yeah. 796 00:27:14,055 --> 00:27:15,135 Yeah. 797 00:27:15,215 --> 00:27:16,775 Hey, I... I met your ex. 798 00:27:16,855 --> 00:27:17,975 Oh, yeah? 799 00:27:18,055 --> 00:27:20,935 - Yeah. She's sweet. - Yeah. 800 00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:22,855 - Quirky. - Yeah. 801 00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,325 - Not really your type. - Nah. 802 00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:26,535 [Laughs] I'm your type. 803 00:27:26,615 --> 00:27:27,975 Yes, you are. 804 00:27:28,055 --> 00:27:29,935 - Did you have fun? - Yeah. 805 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,335 - Good. - Mmm. 806 00:27:33,055 --> 00:27:36,695 You deserve good things. Love you. 807 00:27:36,775 --> 00:27:38,375 I love you. 808 00:27:39,486 --> 00:27:41,574 Ohh. 809 00:27:41,575 --> 00:27:43,014 - Oh, sorry. That was... - Oh, yuck! 810 00:27:43,015 --> 00:27:44,134 - Yeah. Sorry. - Yuck, yuck. 811 00:27:44,135 --> 00:27:46,054 - # Don't fuck me over... # - You all right? 812 00:27:46,055 --> 00:27:47,175 Yeah. 813 00:27:47,255 --> 00:27:49,655 - # Sweet darlin'... # - It's just yuck. 814 00:27:50,495 --> 00:27:52,095 # 'Cause I am the only... # 815 00:27:52,096 --> 00:27:53,854 [David] So good to meet those guys. 816 00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:54,975 [Ashley] Yeah. 817 00:27:55,055 --> 00:27:56,535 - Really good people. - Yeah. 818 00:27:56,615 --> 00:27:59,505 Well, of course they're good people. You're a good person. 819 00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,975 Well, you're the best person. 820 00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:03,175 Thank you. 821 00:28:03,255 --> 00:28:04,535 # Sweet darlin'... # 822 00:28:04,615 --> 00:28:06,365 I know I might be biased, but still... 823 00:28:06,415 --> 00:28:07,655 # I am the only... # 824 00:28:07,656 --> 00:28:09,374 I think you're pretty bloody great. 825 00:28:09,375 --> 00:28:11,175 # One you should see... # 826 00:28:11,255 --> 00:28:13,215 Thanks, David. 827 00:28:14,055 --> 00:28:16,135 # Ooh # 828 00:28:20,255 --> 00:28:23,535 # Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh # 829 00:28:28,055 --> 00:28:31,055 # Don't fuck me over # 830 00:28:32,175 --> 00:28:34,655 # Sweet darlin' # 831 00:28:35,455 --> 00:28:38,575 # 'Cause I am the only 832 00:28:39,735 --> 00:28:41,855 # One you should see # 833 00:28:41,905 --> 00:28:46,455 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 59736

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