Original subtitles

[Music]

why are you interviewing Barbara Jean

for your school project because she's

the most successful person I

know but I'm the single mom who cooks

and clean and still has time to love

you yeah but she's on TV hey

snacks my picture's on the bus

bench visitors on the set okay okay

everybody take five okay all

right Jakey wants to interview me huh

you know normally I have my press agent

go over all the details but his bike was

stolen today so he's not

here so uh why don't you just give me

the Lowdown

by that's Kelly you got me training this

rookie weather girl from Oklahoma you

know she's probably not even a certified

meteorologist neither are

you but of course you are

certified oh are you busy well that

might have been a question to ask

yourself before you screamed across the

set don't mind her I'm Reba the Rea yeah

oh my gosh I feel like I know so much

about you just because how much Barber

jeene talks about you you well Barbara

Jean can talk oh so can I sometimes

people say I talk way too much but it's

weird I never know what I'm doing it

this just in you're doing it

now I hear you're from Oklahoma I'm an

Okie too up around mallister oh no way

Holdenville oh Holdenville was just a

mile away from us until the big tornado

out two miles away from

us oh gee girls I hate to break up the

dust bow

reunion but uh Kelly here's got some

work to do so are your folks cattle

Rangers teachers my brother my daddy and

my granddaddy you want to hear something

funny when I was a kid my church choir

we went up and sang at the Holdenville

Baptist Church oh my gosh that's so

weird no way that's not your family's

Church no but that was

close oh my oh my oh my hey how about

before you two realize that you're

actually mother and

daughter we get back to work all right

we're back up people everybody let's

look alive hey Gary H okay keep

keep wow that was so wild we should get

together sometime okay yeah sure right

on I'll get your number from barbar Jean

okay all

right bye

bye oh she's so cute tell you what if

she does get on TV America's really

going to love

her well if it's up to me she's never

going to get on TV she's evil

evil what are you talking about I hate

her she's trying to steal my job Reba

don't let that a shuck act ful you she

is a cold dead eyed

shark and she's just looking to take a

bite out of Stormy clear

weather you're not stormy clear weather

oh yeah 116 viewers say I

am my are planted in past though my life

is changing fast who I am is who I want

to

be single mom who works too hard who

loves her kids and never stops with

hands and the Heart of

a I'm a

[Music]

surv what makes you think other than you

being a screw ball that Kelly is trying

to take your job I think that the Mucky

mucks brought her here to replace me

because I'm getting bigger than the

station barage no offense I'm not even

on the show and I'm bigger than the

station and I think KY is very nice oh

you think everybody's nice that's why

Showbiz would crush

you actually you know what you know what

her liking you could work for me all

right new plan plan Rea I want you to

spend some time with her

okay because if she is planning to steal

my job she'll confide in you why would

she do that well you just bring that out

on people you know they want to open up

around you when I was having my affair

with Brock I was dying to tell you about

it what makes you think if she did

confide in me

that I would break that confidence and

tell you because you and I we go way

back Reba you just met her you and I we

have a history yes I do recall but it's

not a good history re come on I think

we're all over that by now Barbara Jean

please this is my life we're talking

about and if I can't count on you I got

nobody plus if I'm wrong you get to tell

me how stupid I was

being okay I would like that

okay fine okay thank you thank you thank

you thank you but I'm not going to spy

on her okay I'm just going to have a

nice conversation with her Jake Let's

go people I'd like a sparkling water

thanks all

right huh wow huh these sonograms have

gotten amazing so they can tell the sex

at 9 weeks now huh yeah well I didn't

need a doctor to tell tell me that this

was a boy I think it's pretty

obvious the acor doesn't fall far from

the

tree bam van once again that is the

spine you know if baby stayed that size

it'd be a lot easier to babysit and give

birth too yeah really you're probably

looking at a 12 pounder

here well it's pretty cool you guys but

all this talk of birth has put me in the

mood to write some death

metal this kid is going to be such a

stud he'll probably play in the NBA one

day hey Mr H if you're still alive I'll

take you to a

game no matter what he does or doesn't

do we will love him just the same oh

please don't give the gay speech right

now you know the best part of all this

is now you get to keep your promise to

me what promise well the whole time

Cheyenne was growing up she promised me

that if she ever had a boy she'd name

him

Brock

what you know when you guys had

Elizabeth I was afraid that you'd stop

at the one but

well there he

is hello little

brocky suddenly the gay speech doesn't

sound so bad

[Music]

thank you so much for inviting me over

to your house and it is so cool that you

live right down the street from Brock

and barara Jean

Brock

Brock it's ridiculous it sounds like a

guy who had too many beers

Brock

BR I know a boy named Brock his name is

actually Chester but he works on the

grain elevator so they call him Brock I

don't get it why because there was

already a Chester working

there here you can take these outside

hope you like egg salad oh my mama used

to mix egg salad with potato salad she

called it egg potato salad and then

sometimes she put potato chips in her

tuna and she'd make patuna salad it was

so

good she cracked me up I guess you know

I don't think I've met anybody so nutty

and innocent really yeah you mean you

you don't find her crazy stories kind of

annoying of course not quirky people

like Kelly are a rare

blessing oh my gosh you guys would not

believe the day I just had okay so I'm

driving to my Beanie Baby's mother's

group and the Hop cap on my car just

comes right off well it hops the curb

and it rolls right into a mobile phone

store not the K you hear me now one but

the Catherine A Jones

one anyway I go after to get it and one

thing leads to another and look at my

new

phone do I smell patuna

[Laughter]

[Applause]

salad barie what are you doing here oh

nothing certainly not checking in to see

how covert spy mission is going I'm not

spying oh hey bar hi

Kelly okay watch this okay it's partly

cloudy with winds gusting from the

northwest

yeah I'm sorry I already changed a

channel Barbara Jean when you are in my

house you will be nice now get

out fine but here's a little weather

report for you outside it's partly

evil with a 50% chance of

betrayal this is stormy clear weather

signing

out hey Mrs H why does barbar jeene

think Kelly's going to take her job

wouldn't that be redundant what are you

talking about I know it's a big

word it means the same as I'll use it in

a sentence wouldn't that be

redundant I know what it means why would

you say that well why would they replace

barbar jeene with another bar Barber

Jean Kelly is nothing like barara Jean

why would you say

[Applause]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

that you know you're right she's nothing

like Barbie Jean well she is also sweet

and helpful and she'd give you the shirt

right off of her back so would barbar

Jean as a matter of fact she did that

one time do you remember the worst

funeral ever

where's Elizabeth oh she's out on the

swings with Barber jeene I mean

Kelly Kelly is nothing like Barbera Jean

oh my gosh I never thought of that

before but they're like twins aren't

they yes no Mom Barbara jeene wants to

know if she can come back in her name is

Kelly no her name is barbar

Jean she says you yelled at her why' you

yell at Barbara Jean she always yells at

barbar Jean no I don't you just did yeah

well she was saying something crazy

about her hub caps meanwhile Kelly's out

there being pigeon

girl and she just cracks you

[Applause]

[Music]

up I can't believe this it's

true oh man they're like two peas in a

pod Two Nuts in a

shell so why is Kelly so delightful and

Barbara Jean so annoying cuz Kelly

didn't have an affair with your husband

yet I mean she just got to

town that's my dad I know I'm sorry I'm

just still steamed about his stupid name

hey what's his middle name

enroll Brock enroll

you know what the preacher asked me not

too long ago if I'd forgiven Barbara

Jean and I said yes you know what I

don't think I have you know what's weird

Mrs H I wonder if all that stuff with Mr

H had never happened and you had met

barbar jeene some other way I wonder if

you two would have been best friends

Prim come look I can do a cartwheel with

my sandwich in my mouth

[Music]

stop pushing me Dad I'll be right now oh

man I don't want to do this do you

really want to name our son Brock no

it's as weird as

van what

honey van is a weird name well it's

certainly no

shyenne hey I got an idea why don't we

name our kid

Navajo do not make fun of my name you

started saak

joia go on tell them

Pocahontas hey kids what's going on hey

um Dad so Mom had this um this book

where they have all these baby names in

it and um you know the meaning of them

and stuff and so you know we we just

thought that for you know the heck of it

that we we we would look up the name

Brock oh yeah yeah it means uh mountain

or something right no you know what name

means mountain

mountain so uh so what does Brock mean

um well it's um it's an Old English name

from like the 1700s and well it just

Badger what Badger that's what your name

means Mr H that freaky looking animal

with long

claws you're a badger Mr

h no I don't think that's right oh

that's right right there right in

between Bronco and

Brutus

Brutus okay fine so it means Badger so

what oh nothing well we just you know

what we were just you

know oh what are you saying that you

don't want to name the kid after me no

no no Mr H it's not that we don't want

to name him after you we just don't want

to give him your name

yeah well look you guys that's that's

totally up to you oh what you're not

going to be upset no honey come on it's

just some silly thing you said when you

were a kid you sure he sure Cheyenne one

thing about a badger they never changed

their minds thanks Mr H yeah it just it

seemed kind of important to you when you

brought it up no no honey not at all not

at all really in fact to tell you the

truth I don't even like the name

myself why was it important to you

forget about it

I mean okay look it's

just well I was hoping that maybe this

was a way that I could know for sure

that you really forgave me for what

happened you know between me and your

mom good that was 5 years ago how could

you still worry about that you know what

you're going to learn as a parent

Cheyenne you worry that every mistake

you make your kids will never

forget well I'll never for forget that's

that's just the way that it is but do I

forgive you yes D I swear to God I do

yes oh

honey I forgive you too you crazy old

Badger come

[Applause]

here I love you guys yeah I love you my

Badger and my sack of

Jia oh oh

[Music]

so then after my aunt on my mama side

got divorced she married my uncle on my

daddy's side who was already divorced

which makes my cousins Step Brothers

isn't it

funny you know it should

be no no it's

not is something the matter Rea oh no no

no Kelly I'm sorry it's just that I'm

thinking about something else sorry dang

it I'm bugging you aren't I why do I act

so goofy hey look at me I'm an

idiot you're not an idiot you're cute I

hate cute I don't want to be cute I want

to be hip and

sultry yeah I used to be hip and Sultry

and then I threw my hip

out well looks like I'm stuck with cute

and Goofy it's a good thing I want to be

a weather girl just like your best

friend barbar jeene oh well Kelly

there's a lot that's going on between

barbar Jean and me that you don't know

about oh no I know all about it and

honestly the fact that youve forgiven

her is one of the reasons why you're so

amazing did the station bring you in to

replace Barbara Jean what did the

station send you here to replace her

because if they did and you go along

with it you and me we're going to have

some serious problems there

peaches no of course I'm not okay then

why are you here because I want to learn

from the best in the business we are

still talking about Barb Jean

right replace her no way Reba she's my

idol heck I could never do anything to

hurt barbar Jean she's just

well I don't know I can't explain it

neither can the doctors

[Music]

weather girl quiz

wind

rain

lightning oh Kelly no that's snow all

right this is Houston when is it going

to snow in Houston you have got to learn

your hand gestures I got a hand gesture

for you Barbara

Jean Rea she's trying to break into Show

Business something you know nothing

about

okay this is like a contest and you need

to bring it up to another level well I

think she's doing great what do you guys

think all right yo yo yo check it out

check it

out bom yeah you're the dog pound the

knife

girl yeah I just I think she's adorable

you know she's just warm in the gestures

and you know you just you're human you

know you're just so human you you

know you know all right listen to me

that was

atrocious that was like watching a

weather report on a cruise ship you have

ruined

weather simply Dreadful no no boo all

being is honest that's all please please

you know just don't even listen to him

he's English okay please it just it

would so good so good just please the

lightning just you know just

wo wow tough panel yeah yeah