Original subtitles

[Music]

oh baby those are

beautiful it's not even our anniversary

thank you but don't ruin this perfect

moment by

speaking still think we'd make a great

team baby we are a great

team sincerely

Steve Steve

B is your hairdresser sending you

flowers again

no Steve Norris Norris realy the guy who

offered me the job well he's still

pursuing me flowers football tickets

stakes from Kansas City oh man you know

they want you when they send meat in the

mail wait but I thought that you turned

down that job I did but he keeps calling

me he's called me every day this week

and I told him I don't want the

luxurious company car or a huge increase

in Pay how huge how luxurious oh

enormous and plush the car has heated

seats so when you sit down it feels like

someone's already been sitting

there that combines two of your favorite

things driving and and a warm

butt you must take this job you don't

think I know that of course I do but how

are we going to tell your mother well

just talk to her I mean she gave you her

blessing once I'm sure she'll give it to

you again no but I swore my loyalty to

her and once you do that you're in for

Life B look just talk to her quit riding

me woman I know I have to talk to her

but listen she has to be in a perfect

mood so I thought about this I'm going

to do it after 6 after she's had her

first tumbler of

bourbon hey gang what's up hey hey

everything's good how you doing what's

going on um Mom van has something that

he wants to talk to you about no now not

now now what is it van

what Mom Steve Norris has been calling

vanan and they made him a really really

good

offer and I really think that he should

take it

oh hey hey Mrs H can I get you a Tumblr

verd

[Applause]

Ben is this an offer you really want to

take yes he does we both

do

well I hate to lose you we've really had

some great times working together but if

this is what you want you have my

blessings really you're going to be okay

yeah absolutely I was fine before I

heard you I'm sure I'll be fine now

well

okay okay we're not Partners

anymore no more girl talk in the

[Music]

carpooling I

guess this is just a little harder than

I thought it was going to

be oh I'm going to miss you you

knucklehead man you're still going to be

living no look at

me my RS are planted in the past oh my

life is changing fast who I am is who I

want to

be single mom who works too hard who

loves her kids and never stops with

gentle hands and the Heart of a fire

I'm a

[Music]

surv okay you know Brock

right you think he's annoying you ought

to meet his

wife he is so frustrating you know

sometimes I think you tricked me into

marrying that man

that would be weird wouldn't

it it's just you know how I've always

been interested in broadcast journalism

yep well there's this great opportunity

for me at a local cable station channel

34 and Brock doesn't even want me to

apply then go for it really absolutely

and literally I mean go

now oh Reba you are so nice I'm so lucky

can you imagine if Brock had been

married to somebody I hated oh I

know good morning Mrs H hey van how are

you excited for your first day of the

new job yep I slept in my

outfit can you tell n

okay Hey where's our Client List out in

the garage why oh I'm just going to call

everyone and let them know that I'm

switching agency so is it in your desk

why would you want to call them you know

what you're right you called them just

let everyone know that my new website is

www.v got another job and is working for

another agency.com no

spaces man I'm not going to call my

clients and tell them to call another

agency well then just call my

half they're all my clients you

you know what Mrs Z that's not

fair I worked really hard to get those

people that fer got fat because of my

clothes or stare

and as your former boss I thank you for

that but I'm keeping my

clients you know what I take back my

tearful goodbye and I give you a sigh of

disappointment

[Applause]

[Music]

oh and brush your teeth

[Applause]

[Music]

oh good you're all here I want to show

you my audition tape

Rea Barbara jeene tells me this was your

idea well mostly I did it just to get

her out of my kitchen but if she wants

to do something productive with her life

I think she should and I think you

should support her okay okay

[Laughter]

hi everyone I'm your new meteorological

mink stormy clear

weather oh dear Barb jeene I thought you

wanted to go into broadcast journalism

right as a weather girl these days with

global warming we are the

story this is going to be so good do I

have time to call my friends no

no Barbara Jean do you even know

anything about the weather oh yes I have

a special way of knowing when it's going

to rain when I was nine my mom gave me

this bedazzler and I funed all the back

pockets of my blue jeans with these

beautiful metal studs and I would wear

them every day until the big lightning

storm of

[Applause]

82 and ever since then every time it's

going to rain I get a tingling sensation

in this area here

[Applause]

you were struck by

lightning there's the missing piece of

the

puzzle okay sh you guys have got to see

the rest of this

okay

[Laughter]

now this weekend there's a high pressure

system over Texas

which means it is going to be smoking

hot so let's have a cheer for warm

weather give me an H H give me an

O give me a

te what does that smell

hot hot hot

yeah but before that there's going to be

heavy

winds but beware something's tingling my

special super buter tells me that this

weekend

it is going to

[Applause]

rain back to you

Deborah so what do you guys think

you know what my but Romer tells

[Music]

me go go go go go

go shanan wait don't move what I have to

pee are you kidding me how can such a

big body have such a little bladder well

when I get nervous I have to pee and

breaking into your mom's office to steal

her Client List makes me

nervous every week when we watch that

show with kefir Sutherland you're like

man Jack Bower is so cool I want to be

Jack Bower so bad you are so not Jack

Bower Jack Bower only has to worry about

terrorists if he were up against your

mother he would have to pee

too please van you would not believe the

stuff that I pulled on Mom okay like

faking her signature on my report

card really you were never afraid of

your mother no wait see these earrings

hers yeah I liked him so she was

sleeping on the couch one night and I

just stole him right off of her

you know we are never going to find this

list in the

dark oh

[Laughter]

thanks I can't believe you too this is

the thanks I get with all I've done for

you you try to stab me in the back no

Mrs Z you have it all wrong when we when

we keep I God I really have to pee

mom the only reason that we're doing

this is because you treated van unfairly

what exactly did I do that was unfair

free room and board complimentary

laundry service the job I gave him no no

those are all good

things mom that Client List is just as

much Vans as it is

yours porpus poop

Mrs H you always viewed our clients as

family do you still believe that yes

then why wouldn't you want your family

to be represented by the best possible

realtor what are you saying that you're

the better realtor you really believe

that well Steve Norris seems to think so

that's why they gave him the company car

it's plush and I've got a warm

tushy I don't care if they gave you a

win of Bago I'm the better realtor afid

not yeah m afid

not well you know what I may have just

come up with a solution to this little

problem but it won't be easy you

interested interested like a

fox first one to sell a house gets the

list what's so hard about that not just

any house van the yonky

house the yonky house

yeah what's the big deal about the yonky

house

some say it can't be

sold and I'm one of those

some so van you in or out oh I'm in I'm

in like Jack

Bower with a small bladder excuse me

[Music]

okay so here's the living room it has

two baths and a kitchen I think you've

seen enough so why don't we just go out

to the car and talk deal oh um okay well

the house seems pretty good but this is

the fastest store that I've ever been on

well it's my philosophy that a house

sells itself in the first 3 minutes so

why stick around let's jog to the car

come on can I see the bathroom no no no

we got to

leave sure today you're on

time so how often does that happen oh

not not

often on the positive side if you like

those little bags of peanuts and little

bottle of whiskies right around the

corner

is good luck thank you

crap whoa what's the matter Mrs H client

seem to be in a hurry oh yeah must had a

plane to catch

clap it up funny boy I'll find me a

client to sell this house to well it

better be quick cuz I think I found

someone who's interested Mr McGuire this

is Mrs H oh hi Mr Maguire is looking for

a house for his father so what do you

think seems all right uh needs a little

work but I think my dad's really going

to like it oh yeah just wait

what do you think you'll say about it

now I I don't

know Dad Dad Dad what do you think do

you want to live

[Laughter]

here he said that I know what he said I

ain't

blind why do you guys take a look at the

backyard it's got a beautiful tomato

guard they're huge because of the jet

fuel oh looks like I win list please you

know what van I think this whole contest

was ridiculous just because you got

lucky enough to find a client who is

deaf doesn't mean that you're better

than me

wow I never thought I'd see the day that

Mrs H is jealous of

me I'm not jealous if you're not jealous

why are you acting so crazy about this

client

list because I'm

scared scared of what

fam when I brought you on board I

thought I'd have to carry your

weight but it turned out that you're

great I actually started relying on you

and it scares me to lose

you you know what Mrs Z you take the

list no no I want you to have it I'm

young and vibrant and you're

take the

list no you take it you got this brand

new job and I want you to hit the ground

running then let's split it that way

you'll only be half scared I'll take the

other half and you know

what I'm scared too well van you don't

have to be scared you can do it well if

I can do it it's cuz you taught me

everything I

know you really something B yeah

no I mean it you know there's something

I've been meaning to tell you for a long

time but I thought i' I couldn't tell

you cuz I'd cry but it's just

[Applause]

that you would remember these words for

the rest of your life

well all I can say

is right back at

you I hope you remember this little

talk don't look at

[Music]

me okay Henry well I've explained to you

how all the piece is move now the other

thing about Chess is that sometimes a

game can take a long time are you okay

with that okay okay great you want to go

first yeah

go no no no you don't you

don't hey you win

okay hey honey where you been I went for

a drive I heard back from the station

about my tape oh hey buddy here why

don't you take these guys upstairs and

play army okay hey sweetie

look I know I haven't exactly seem

supportive about this thing or or phase

that you're going through Brock this is

not a phase speaking clling on was a

phase pronouncing my name Bon that was a

face this is a dream that I have what to

stand in front of a camera and dump

water on yourself it's not going to rain

every day

bro why are you so threatened by this I

am not threatened yes you are it's like

ever since I lost the weight you want to

keep me bottled up here at the house I'm

just worried about you what honey I'm

trying to protect you come on that tape

was a little over the top I mean

nobody's going to take you seriously

oh well then I guess I better go call

them and tell them that they made a

mistake what oh I got the

job you got the

job this just in looks like you're going

to have to put an extra blanket on the

bed tonight there's a cold front coming

through

oh oh oh and my

buter says it's going to linger

[Applause]