Original subtitles

[Music]

H that woman is out of control she's

like a locust she has eaten everything

in the house she's eaten everything in

Mr H's house look even the saw and

pepper shakers are

empty why don't you just tell her she's

eaten too much you tell her no you tell

her rock paper

scissors man you know you're going to

lose not this time 1 2

3 dang

it how do you always beat me because you

always pick scissors of course I do it's

my

system so you'll tell her yeah fine no I

don't want to you tell her come on you

tell her please please please no van why

should I tell her because girls can say

that kind of stuff but without having it

come across like all they care about her

looks by the

way you you have been looking hot

lately oh

you look sweetie why don't I tell her

thank

you hey hey

[Laughter]

hey guess who Luigi gave the free pizza

to Luigi doesn't have to roll her out of

the bed every

morning you know Mom we really don't

don't need another Pizza I mean it's

it's really just the three of us oh I

know but I had to take it it was free

somebody will eat it DBS you know what

Mom I'm thinking maybe maybe we should

all try and get a little healthier

around here what talking about I'm very

healthy all right that's it Mrs H drop

it drop it Mrs H drop it drop it drop

it drop it

Mrs H I I I I can't stand to see you do

this to yourself it's like you're trying

to eat yourself to death why what

happened to you what's different yooo

I'm here and I'm

[Applause]

thin yeah thin as a stick and dumb as

one yikes what's EA and Gilbert Grape

look at that they look like the number

10 thank God it was just a nightmare

yooo I'm here and I'm

F and the nightmare continues

[Music]

[Music]

a single mom who works too hard loves

her kids and never stops with gentle

hands and the Heart of the

F I'm a survivor

[Music]

hey Mom you make us some pancakes no I'm

making everyone a power smoothie and

this afternoon I'm taking a power walk

power walk I don't forget your power

cane van that is not nice mom does

aerobic she could chatter her

hip and yet in the blink of an eye can

make you both

homeless hey everybody I'm here and I oh

shut up and have a

donut oh Rea you're not still trying to

lose weight by drinking those power

smoothies are you Jordan my trainer says

that those are loaded with hidden carbs

Barbara jeene I am all for adopting a

healthy new lifestyle but seriously I

mean there has to be some sort of will

you stop staring at her

what we've been staring at her for like

the past 2 hours well she's pretty I'm

pretty well of course you are you've

always been pretty but she's new

pretty oh man that is such a funny story

you can tell to your next

wife so B you you really think that I'm

new pretty oh yeah you're like a

bleached out Halle

Berry thank you you're welcome

I got to go make some

calls so barar Jean yeah is it true that

uh when you lose a bunch of weight you

uh want to do you know you

know oh Cheyenne don't be upset you're

still hot you're like a bleached

Out jam

braady Jan Jan Brady I'm

Marsha Mara Mara

Mara so re I got an idea you should come

down to the gym and meet Jordan my

trainer seriously he will change your

life I mean he is so much more than a

personal trainer he taught me how to

work out and eat right we go over the

clothes I'm going to wear the movies I'm

going to see whoa the movies you're

going to see what's that got to do with

you getting in shape oh nothing we just

have the same sense of humor that Tim

Allen just kills us I mean whether he's

playing a dog or Santa Claus you just

buy

it so you'll come meet Jordan no oh come

on Reba I want my best girlfriend to

meet my best

boyfriend boyfriend oh oops that came

out wrong oh well thanks anyway but I'm

just going to be here with my smoothie

delicious just like fruit

gravy oh hey Barbara Jean here you are

listen how would you like to go out and

grab a quick lunch just the two of us oh

honey I can't I'm going to the gym can't

you skip it just this once come on I'll

take you to that romantic French place

you like so much really skip the gym and

eat french food no can fond dubra got to

go man she blew me off again all she

wants to do is go down to the gym and

spend time with Jordan her trainer

exactly frankly I like the new butt but

the new attitude not so

much oh that's really funny coming from

the old

butt Jordan so great Jordan so toned and

funny well I got news for you nobody's

toned and

funny Brock you're overreacting oh

really yeah I think she might be having

an affair with this guy Barbara Jean

with her trainer I mean sure he's

probably a better man than you are

better looking and younger

but

but that's

it Reba I need you to help me out I I

want you to go down to the gym and see

if there's anything going on you know

spy on them for me no way you know

Barbera Jean may have a long list of

faults and I have that list if you need

a copy but she is nothing if not

faithful yeah right up until now but now

that she's thin and hot she has all

kinds of options look Brock if if if

it's worrying you that much be honest

with her tell her how you feel tell her

that you just need a hug every now and

then oh now there's a great idea see why

since my competition is a macho muscular

dude I should go the other way and

appear all weak and whiny your Solutions

are ridiculous rea

wants me to spy on them

stupid hard to believe it's supposed to

be good for

you hey Mrs H you off for your power

walk man I love old people

power walking moving along swinging

their

arms like there's a big sill for false

[Laughter]

teeth no I'm not going for my power walk

this whole physical thing is getting

everybody acting wacko what do you mean

well your dad thinks that the guy who

gave barbar Jean a new body is wanting

to take her for a spin he probably

does what are you talking about guys are

pigs they're dogs they're all animals

just care about hot women or hot

dogs my my point is is that when you got

a hot lady you got to keep your guard up

at all times I used

to you used to no baby don't take it

like that it's just that I've grown into

a mature stable individual that's

all well I

don't like

[Laughter]

it where have you

[Music]

been I went to get something to eat

yeah so van you think that Brock might

be right about this trainer sure this

guy could be hot for barbar Jean but

since barbar jeene isn't looking to play

there's no problem and it's obvious

barbar genene isn't looking why is this

obvious two reasons barbar Jean isn't

good at keeping secrets and she thinks

of you as her best friend if she were

fooling around this guy she'd be

constantly talking about him to you heck

she' probably even want you to meet him

made

him where are you

going go down the gym with the rest of

the wackos all right we keep those arms

a swinging

hey oh hey Rea you came yeah man there's

a lot of beautiful people around here

you should seem naked in the

shower

Jordan hey ready to start Barber yeah

yeah hey you look great in that outfit

oh well you know the other one was

getting kind of baggy can you believe

her she did The Impossible she lost all

that weight and kept these

fellas thank

you okay Jordan Jordan This Is My Friend

Rea hey I'm

[Applause]

Jordan I'm Rea so you going to join us

Rea oh I I no I just think that me and

my uh fellows will just watch for a

while well Rea you are not going to get

into shape by just watching you need to

sweat a little yeah but you guys got to

understand it's been a while since I've

been in a gym like this and I don't

think hello

[Music]

oh bararan you really are getting limber

remember when you couldn't put your leg

over my head remember when I didn't want

to is is is that is that uh legal I mean

necessary it's critical to stretch your

muscles out before you exercise them

otherwise you could really hurt

something turn

over Reba you need to watch this one

this one is my favorite

there we go now this gives a good

stretch to the back and chest muscles

really should do this once a day oh I'd

do it all day if I

could you know is this one of these gems

that has the heat on real highz I'm

sweating okay oh wow time for some

weightlifting oh good that's enough of

that

stretching hello

okay let's knock this out okay yeah okay

all right you know I I think I've seen

enough so what do you think you have any

interest in getting a personal

trainer only if he takes me out to

dinner

first are you sure

Reaper seriously this is one of the best

relationships I've ever

had oh

I think Jordan has his hands full with

you oh you're a beginner Reba you'll

start with dot dot

yeah this is Reba she seems a little

tense I'd spend some extra time on the

stretching hey get down

there get

so did you see him what's he like is he

little could I take

him he's big but he's not as big as

dot so what do you think is there

something going on there

look Brock I was hoping that I could go

down to the gym and check things out and

come back and tell you that there's

nothing to worry about

but that's it Rea come on okay I don't

know if they're having an affair or not

but if they keep working out like that

they might be having a

baby and I knew there was something

going on hey everybody I'm here and I'm

thin

well oh hi honey don't you hi honey me

what are you talking about oh man did

you honestly think that I wouldn't find

out about you and Jordan what we were

working out it was perfectly innocent

Reba tell them what you saw I don't want

to get involved she said you're having

an affair any more than I already

am okay Jordan and I are not having an

affair he's gay what re do you honestly

think I would let a straight man grab my

breasts excuse

me he grabbed your breasts he's gay he

wasn't touching them he was arranging

them okay then everything's fine carry

on with your lives no Reba everything is

not fine I had no idea you were so

threatened by the new me the slim waist

the toned legs the fellas the fellas the

girls oh the puppies

I am not threatened by you really yeah

then why'd you go down to the gym what

were you spying on me

no okay

yes I went down to the gym cuz I thought

there was something going on between you

and Jordan why would you think that

because you've changed I have not yes

you have ever since you lost all that

weight you're pushy and obnoxious and

you always want to be the center of

attention hello I've always been that

way

she kind of got a point

there yeah well something's changed

Barbara Jean yeah the way you guys look

at me I'm still the same Barbara jeene I

always was I'm just less

winded you know she might be right could

be us I'm sorry honey reever just got me

all worked up that's

look Barbara jeene the truth

is I think I went down to the gym almost

hoping that I'd find you doing something

wrong you know anything so I could feel

Superior to you and your skinny butt

so I'm sorry sorry yeah this is great

for the first time since we've known

each other you want to be me

I don't want to be you I know it's even

better you want to look like

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

me hey where are you going just going to

go grab something to

eat I'll see you next

deer hey buddy what are we watching

Sweet Life is no we're

not want a rock paper scissor for it

fine let's go you're going to pick

scissors aren't you get

out hey honey hey baby I need to talk to

you honey I just got the TV well I

started thinking that maybe you don't

think of me as new pretty

because I don't do enough to keep your

interest no honey you're way hot

guilty but anyway I thought that maybe I

should you know change my look every now

and then just to keep things fresh

so I bought a

wig Chey put that down listen to me I I

think it's a good thing that when I look

at you I don't see the beautiful girl

with the killer bod I I see my wife and

I'm attracted to her whether she's all

dressed up ready to go out or just

sitting on the couch wearing those

washed up flannel

pajamas really yeah you're beautiful to

me because of who you are a I feel kind

of stupid that's also who you are and I

love

it come on you where are we going oh we

are going upstairs

well hold

on I thought you didn't want me to wear

that sometimes I want to feel new pretty

[Applause]

[Music]

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