Original subtitles

Trust me, I've been there. A thing that works great for directions, restaurant

recs, and generationally speaking advice.

What some have experienced allows for future generations to learn.

If they're willing to accept the lesson.

Take Dean Carnegie and Aaron, for example. They haven't always seen eye to

eye, but they've come a long way.

And Aaron and I have also grown closer.

Put it right there.

And now look at us.

He's not even with my sister anymore, and we're still like family.

Hey, squatter.

Thanks for sending your happy utilities, by the way. It's not rent, but it is

something. Ah, this guy.

Well, if you'll excuse me, this history of black hair and media class is not

going to lecture itself, so... I foresee us hanging out in the future.

That's fine. See?

He's good. You see?

Actually, there's someone I want you to meet.

I'm flatter Dean Carnegie, but I'm actually spoken for. As a potential

mentor, not a tenderoni. Oh. Do y'all still say tenderoni?

Never mind.

Anyway, with entrepreneurial studies being based in independent research, a

connection like this would be a good resource for you when you graduate.

Yeah. Could be great to connect with someone who's climbed the mountain I'm

trying to reach the top of. And that is Derek Wright, a Cal U alum, a proud

Gamma, and the founder of your major.

And he's planning to make a sizable donation to the school.

You'd be the perfect student to show him around.

I'm just the tenderoni for the job.

Did I use that right?

No, you did not.

Maybe start with the gammas. Let them do all the talking.

All right.

To the unmelanated ear, it may have sounded like he dissed me.

But I know that he's saying that he has complete faith in my ability to get the

bag.

This is what I say.

After cleaning the house like we were covering up a murder, the Gammas were

ready to welcome our brother of honor.

It is my honor to introduce a five-time business magazine entrepreneur of the

year. Come on, man. Mr. Derek Wright.

Thank you, brother. Mr.

Wright's passion is platforming the voices of today and funding.

The voices of tomorrow.

Now, when he's not out saving the world and changing the world through

philanthropy, he is a proud dog dad to two of the cutest Pomeranians you'd ever

seen. No one cares about that. Yeah, no. You would not believe me. I'm going to

beg you to stop talking, bro.

OK. I'm going to leave you G-men to G-out and let you G-men. G-G-G-G

-U-net. Won't stop.

Hi, sir.

I'm Andre.

What's up, Dre? How are you, bro? I'm great. I'm Gamma Vice President.

This is the Gamma House.

As you remember, I hope.

No, not at all. Mid, at best.

What is this?

Is this like inclusion or something?

Uh, this is No Shirt Nick. Government name?

Uh... Hi, I'm Derek No Shirt Nicholas.

I am uncomfortable.

Yo, where the bitch is that?

This place can't be all dudes, is it?

Um... What you got there?

Cranberry scones. Cranberry scones. You know what we used to call this place?

The train station.

Because of how much ass we took down in here. Now you're sitting up eating

cranberry scones. You proud of yourself?

We actually, we baked these ourselves.

You know, studies show that a home-cooked meal can actually... Does

that wire go through?

And that's proof that not all stories about mixing coke and heroin end up bad.

Question. Any chance you could, you know, hook me up with an internship?

Quicker question.

Are you a Nigerian scammer or do you just have the shoes of a Nigerian

scammer? And that was the last night I saw Rick James alive.

What kind of porn is this?

It's women's basketball.

Women's basketball porn?

This kind of willful ignorance is what gave the Gammas a bad name in the first

place.

I'm telling you, if you're rich enough in Dubai, they'll let you hunt anything.

Hey, Mr. Wright.

We got to go. We're going to be late for the theater department's production of

Roots. Oh, I don't want to be late for that. Yeah. So, how was your time with

the Gammas?

Fantastic. Good. I leave here inspired knowing that no matter how much money

you throw at something, it can't always be saved.

That's so not true. You're so funny.

Funny, funny. You're all letting money, huh? All right. Good luck, guys.

Melanated ear or not, asshole is the same in every language.

And you guys didn't even hear him play devil's advocate, Ron Kelly.

Could you bring me the table six right there? Got it. Oh, look at you looking

all cute.

How I get so lucky to get a gift on your birthday.

Oh, you're so sweet, babe.

Give me another compliment after I have a drink.

And what, the birthday trip was that bad?

I love my girls, but they can't organize.

See?

I just wanted to chill.

Like Netflix and chill with me?

Sure.

But mostly in my sweats, blasting Omarion, stuck on my face with an icebox

cake. I think it's very cute how much you like Omarion. Oh, he's the GOAT.

Now here's to hoping next year is what it's supposed to be.

Andre!

Just the gamma I was hoping to see. Dean Carnegie, how are you? Listen, you guys

made a real impression on Mr. Wright.

So much so, he wants to have the donation ceremony at the Gamma House.

Yeah, big check and everything.

Oh, yeah?

Um... Yeah.

Speaking as Gamma Vice President, I don't know if that's going to happen. We

worked really hard to get our charter and reputation back after the great

Gamma fires of 2020.

Yeah, you guys roasted the hell out of that pig.

I don't know if it's the right time for us to get in bed with the original

Atomic Dog himself.

Can you elaborate?

That guy's the worst.

He told us that we should start to pee standing up. Really?

Yeah. He also called our entire generation lazy, referred to women as

the Ferris wheel of bunny tails, and then said that Herschel Walker made some

good points.

We have worked hard to reform our image, and that guy's like taking a million

steps back. Listen, I hear you.

I would never force the Gammas to do something they are not comfortable with.

Okay, Jackson.

I'm going to need you to force the Gammas to do something they are not

comfortable with.

Okay, so let me clarify. You want me, a non-gamma, to get the gammas who are

mighty and many to do what now?

See, Derek Wright is about to drop the biggest donation on Cal U that I've ever

seen. And his only stipulation is that the check dedication happened at Gamma

House. I'm sorry, I'm not hearing the problem.

Okay, okay, let me, uh, let me say this in a way that I think you'll understand.

Huh?

Andre and them niggas about to fumble this bag.

Ah. They're bent out of shape because he said some less-than-PC things about

their generation.

Well, Andre and his frat are pretty reasonable guys, right? I'm sure their

concerns are valid. Okay, let me be even clearer.

This directly affects you as well.

You see, part of that money would go to the African-American Studies Department.

And... I could use a new smart board. Not to mention the sizable amount that

would go to financial aid and inform scholarships.

You know, the types of assistance that haptogamers rely on.

Sure, yeah, I'll see what I can do. Great.

Hello, Douglas.

How are you? Can I get some wings to go?

What's your name? 16-piece, blueberry habanero, all flat.

God bless your toilet.

Bro, come on. Do not wing-shame me, all right? I'm going through a lot right

now. I got stuck carting around this old head gamma, Derek Wright.

Apparently, he's donating a lot of money to the school, but the guy is a clown.

Back when those gammas were on campus, they called themselves the super sick

and twisted animalistic and sadistic wolf pack.

Not the type of dudes you want to bring around the lady folk. That dude is a

nightmare. But enough about me. What's going on with you?

Sloane just got back from her special birthday trip with her girlfriends, but

she came back a little upset.

No, I hate seeing her like that. I feel like it would be dope if... Don't do it.

Please, don't do it. Don't do what?

You know, don't dug this up.

I know you want to give her the birthday that she deserves, but remember the last

time you did something big?

You blew your entire check on her child's bike. Okay, well, dug it up

hurts. All I'm saying is sometimes less is best.

All I'm saying is, I've got a lot to say for a dude who's about to spend the

night in the bathroom.

Good luck.

I just came to potty, potty, yeah, yeah.

I'm not trying to leave a little potty, potty.

Miracle Whip is mayonnaise.

No, queen.

Please do not fight him on this. Douglas will die on that hill, trust me. Listen,

guys, speaking of dying on hills, I need some help, if you will, some counseling.

Dean Carnegie wants me to get the gambit to accept a donation from this guy named

Derek Wright.

But they don't really fuck with this guy.

It's a tough one, man. Yes, we are a brotherhood, but not all gammas look

alike the same.

Derek and Andre are about as different as Malcolm X and Malcolm Gladwell.

Andre's line has worked too hard to rewrite our frat's narrative just for a

check. I will say that donations like this often trigger more alumni who dig

deep in their pockets.

Can you imagine what good this money could do?

Yeah, I can.

Yeah, but what kind of message does that send the gammas?

Increasing revenue is more important than them continuing to rehab their

reputation on campus?

That is a good point.

Aaron knows there's no ethical consumption under capitalism.

All money is dirty money. That is true. Yes, and Aaron also knows what it's like

to be a Cal U student with a strong moral compass who doesn't need someone

in his shoes to tell him what's a good idea.

Damn. Compelling points across the board, honestly.

But the question for the fans, what do you think I should do?

No idea.

It sucks to be you.

I graduated.

Okay. Horrible friends.

Bringing up the whole table?

Do I look like Meals on Wheels?

Besides, you know these are my breakfast wings.

Fair enough, fair enough. Uh, grab a seat for me, please.

If you don't mind. Let me guess.

Dean Carnegie wants us to reconsider the generous offer from Mr. Wright.

I see that Cal U education at work.

It's done you good. Yeah.

Now to think about how much good it could do for you. I know it's a lot of

money. But if it's coming from Big Brother Shady, we just don't want it.

Yeah, you know, I get it. You had a bad experience.

And by no means do I agree with anything that comes out of Mr. Wright's mouth,

but... As long as the check clears.

It's more than the money, Andre, okay? It's what this donation could do.

Seriously. I mean, Dean Carnegie's already shown me a stack of applicants

who could attend to you if this goes through.

And that's not lost on me, but I just don't speak for all the gammas. And

until now, I didn't think you were the type of guy to speak for the whole

school. I'm just a guy who has been where you are. And I'm just trying to

get you to understand.

Show you a different perspective, maybe. And I wouldn't come to you with this if

I didn't think it was absolutely the right thing to do. And if we agree to

disagree, what?

No more coffee dates with the boss?

No. No.

No.

But,

you know, you got to just get your suspension lifted.

And I hate to see you on the faculty's bad side again.

That could mean fine.

no more barbecue privileges tarnish legacy things like that or or worse

what's that supposed to mean i'm just saying think about it please and uh i

think once the smoke clears and you're able to focus better you'll see that

this money can do so much good i really can't uh not only for the school but for

the gammas and i think you're the person to help your brothers understand that

maybe the frat can have one more conversation

Appreciate it.

Thanks, man.

You can talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just saying, who are we to decide who gets a chance at a higher education?

I'm just saying, we've been at this for like five hours, and we should have

ordered dinner five hours ago.

All in the favor of voting for dinner.

Guys, come on. No, focus.

The only thing that we need to be voting for is whether or not we're going to

sell our souls for a photo op or are we going to continue to be the second

tallest frat at Cal U. Okay.

Then we'll vote. Thank you. Who does the voting stuff anyway?

I'm supposed to do that?

And do we get stickers?

Okay, guys. Here's the plan. We are going to vote one more time. All right?

Majority rules. How does that sound? All right.

That's cool.

Let's do it.

But for real, who has the voting stuff?

It's down to you, General.

You realize how much good this money can do for the school.

I would hate to see you on the faculty's bad side again.

I vote to accept the donation.

That's it.

Y'all see ya.

It's the big day, and Cal U's about to receive a big check.

But if it's for the greater good, why do we all feel so bad?

How long do we have to be camera ready?

Who are you?

Nick.

I know. I don't see me either.

It's like I'm living a lie.

You and me both, brother.

Hey, man.

Yo, how are you?

Look, I wanted to say thank you for reconsidering, okay? I know it was hard,

but it was the right thing to do. Trust me. Can we?

Professor saw out. Yo, Cole, chill.

Aaron's on our side. Is he?

Yeah. Because if he was, he would tell us what Derek Wright is up to about now.

I think he's ready to start. No, no, no. I'm talking about how he's about to

acquire the Feminine Reaction Podcast Network, also known as home of the

future Candace Owens and the current Candace Owens. What?

So it seems like good old Derek Wright is a bigot trying to use this all for

clout. We have to call this whole thing off. Look, man, if there was another

way, I would. All right, but the check's already deposited.

Looks like we're just going to have to take this loss and smile for the cameras

like good, articulate, obedient black men.

Well, at least we get to keep the frat while serving the raider good.

Yeah.

Hello, everyone.

How's everybody doing?

Thank you for having me.

Thank you to Cal U, and thank you to the distinguished gentlemen of Gamma Psi

Delta. Hopefully, this gift that I have decided personally to provide will

continue to provide support and help to empower.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Provide support. So much support that Mr.

Wright here has empowered me to announce his new initiative that he's funding

today. What are you doing, bro?

Something for the greater good.

Now, I just want to personally say thank you for this generous donation that

you've given to Cal U and for agreeing to pledge an additional, sizable annual

gift directly to the Gamma Fraternity. Starting today.

Yeah!

Starting today.

Or tomorrow.

Hopefully today. The future, I think, is what he's talking about. You are the

future. AI and such being what it is.

Monkeypox.

BBLs. Who knows what the future holds? I'm glad to be a part of it. Thank you.

I want to

thank you for seeing this through to the finish line.

The administration will not forget what you did here today.

Yeah, neither will I.

Hey, I really wanted to say thank you for helping me pull that off today, man.

Honestly. That money is going to do a lot of good for a lot of students.

Something wrong?

I'm just having a hard time feeling good about today.

You know? On the one hand, I saved the gammas from being suspended again.

And on the other hand, I completely abandoned my ethics.

Yeah. All right. I just want to say I really appreciate you for standing up

for us. No need to thank me, man.

Sometimes you gotta get your hands dirty for the greater good. Yeah.

Sometimes that means slightly exaggerating your frat's charter

situation.

Wait, so you lied because your cause is more important than us standing up for

what we believe in? You're not a hypocrite at all.

I didn't lie. I... I helped you make the best decision.

I don't even know who I'm talking to anymore. Maybe instead of worrying about

telling me what to do, maybe you should find your own moral compass.

Fed likes someone who needs the choices made for them.

Bro, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid.

I don't need to be patronized by someone who's a couple years older than me. Oh,

and unlike you, I've actually lived in the real world. And now you're back from

the real world.

And where are you living? In my house, rent-free, right?

You know what?

Here's an adult decision for you.

I'm out.

You gotta be kidding me. Look.

Misunderstanding.

I'm gonna grab some Hanukkahs for a while.

Okay.

Looks like that, huh?

Just like that.

I've been waiting upstairs for 20 minutes.

Three bar backs and two waiters already tried to hit on me. What you been doing?

I just wanted tonight to be perfect.

Oh my god.

Now that better be real ice cream and not the vegan kind.

Trust me, this is real, regular ice cream. And as you can see right here, we

have an assortment of different sweats in a variety of sizes. I didn't want to

be so rude as to guess. And if you ain't going to wear them, don't pop that tag.

And last but not least.

Oh my God, Doug, this is, this is really something.

Something good or something?

Something perfect.

Okay, well, if this is perfect, then I can tell our guests to go home.

You got the real Omarion.

You not Omarion impersonator?

It's me. Yeah, my lawyer shut down for Omarion years ago. But if y'all see that

no Omarion, you tell him to take time.

Doug, this is, this is amazing.

Happy birthday baby.