Original subtitles

Since the beginning of time, or at least the 90s, society decided to stop being

polite and start getting real.

People love to hate on reality TV.

Reality television is the digital artifact that will be studied next to

the pyramids and dinosaurs.

But the reality of reality TV doesn't stop at the end of an episode.

Dating Annika has shown me that sometimes the storylines follow you

home.

I'll be honest, it has required some adjustment on my part. But after we

worked out the kinks in our relationship, I am comfortable being an

influencer boyfriend.

That's what it takes to be with Annika. That's a small price to pay.

What's up, dog? Yeah.

Nothing makes me prouder than kicking back with the Gamma and watching my baby

do her thing on Influencer Island.

Tonight on Influencer Island, looks like

Annika's taking a break from stirring the pot.

Or does she?

I've got dibs on Little Spoon tonight.

As night falls, things are heating up between Annika and Drea.

I don't think you had trouble, bro.

You had competition.

Looks like Annika has a new cuddle buddy.

Does my girlfriend have a girlfriend?

I don't know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no

regrets, this is what I say

Okay,

calm down, guys. Just me. You can keep drinking.

Great show tonight, babe. Can I pull you aside for a second?

Yeah, what's up?

How'd you like tonight's episode?

Um, about that.

That Trey girl.

She seems real cool.

Yeah, we got so cool on the show.

And we get to meet her along with the rest of my cast members because...

Drum roll, please. No. You're all invited to the Influencer Island reunion

tomorrow as my VIP guests.

Also, I snagged some seats for the gamblers so they can just...

Stroll on in. Get it?

Thank you, baby. Okay, I understand why the producers want to swindle young,

impressionable minds to the inaugural Gen Z NXIVM cult meeting, but why do you

want us to be there? I don't know. I think it sounds exciting.

I thought you said you didn't want to be seen around me in public because I was

wearing a sensible flat after 6 p.m. Excuse, Kiela. We will be there in your

preferred footwear. As a matter of fact, I will not leave your side, even when

you're talking to cast members like Drea.

I will be front and center cheering you on as your man, your partner, ten toes

down for my woman.

Thanks.

I'm going to need all the support I can get.

This villain edit is getting out of control.

I thought you liked that.

I thought I did too, but turns out black people not only get hosed in real court,

but also in the court of public opinion.

Damn.

Well, I guess we're just going to have to let those bitches know that you're

the sweetest bitch in the world.

Okay, let's find you an outfit.

Okay.

Your pupils aren't dilated, but your hand and face

are clammy. Also, your breath smells like wet dishrag. What is going on? I

think that Annika might be cheating with that chick from the show.

Can't you just ask her what's going on?

No. No, are you kidding me?

We already got off to a rocky start this year, and we haven't even hard launched

our relationship yet. I can't be out here acting soft.

I want to be on a below deck yacht, not the Titanic.

Yeah, you can not just ask her what's going on. Exactly.

That's why I have to be out here acting like a secure black man who has not

spent the past half hour wondering if my queen is out here getting scissored by

some influential influencer with impeccable bone structure.

OK, first of all, scissoring is not the primary lesbian sexual position.

Really? And secondly, I haven't even seen the show.

Fine. Show me the evidence.

Thank you.

So, Drea here, a hot streetwear model, and Annika are now bedtime cuddle

buddies.

I don't want to jump to any conclusions.

That means they're gay, right? I mean, what if Drea and her have something that

I could never understand?

The verdict is inconclusive. But, rest assured, your charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent, appointed attorney, is on the case.

You better not be setting up your face ID on my phone again.

That's just a safety measure. I'm actually just finessing your dating

profile. I don't even use that thing, dude. It's just to have something to

talk about with people like the weather or blue light glasses.

Okay, well, you need to start. 40% of eligible singles are on the app, and you

need to be a part of the masses to get back into society.

I don't want to get back out there, man. I want to stay here on my couch. Okay,

well, you're too late, because the new and improved Aaron Jackson dating

profile is ready. I accept mobile cash apps and the names and numbers of all

the lovely ladies that you are not compatible with, because my boy is about

to be out here like the Humane Society with his pick of the litter. Thank you.

Here. All right, let me see that. What am I looking at? I've seen German wax

figures of black celebrities that look... way more natural than anything

I'm seeing right now. What you had before was dull and bland.

I had to put a little Lowry's on it. Looks like you poured the whole bottle

on here, man. And why do I look like Jim Crow's protege in this photo?

No, no, this is good. This makes you look like an academic, okay? You bell

hooks them, you keep them.

Okay, one day.

You get one day out of me.

Get back, swipe, and by sundown, you're gonna have women on your page like

Walmart on Black Friday.

A little bit more.

A little bit more. One more. One more. Before you go in, everybody together.

That's great. Thank you. A little bit more.

I'm going to need talent on deck and civilians to report to the audience.

Get a move on, Jen Pop?

Wow, I've always wondered what it's like to be treated as a second class victim.

You coming? Yeah, I'll be there in a second.

Aw, you want to wish this girl luck.

Flag love.

Pop, Pop, Monica!

Oh my God.

Jay, you play too much. Well, when I like the game.

Sweetie!

Honey bunches of gluten-free oats.

Drea?

Still on my dip.

Break a leg out there.

Thanks, baby.

Wait, you know that I'm happy and secure in our relationship, right? And I don't

feel threatened at all. And that I am an avid Marsha P. Johnson enthusiast. I

just need to know, is there anything going on between you and Drea?

Okay, do you think I'm cheating on you? You're trying to get really deep right

now, and I'm literally in the middle of a work day. You have nothing to worry

about, okay?

I have to go.

I don't want to hold up production.

My lips.

Four minutes.

Match. Match. I got a match. What do I do? Show me the stats. Let's go.

Okay. All right.

Mallory is her name.

She's a nurse.

Come on, black excellence. Indigenous.

Come on, Native American.

25, that's not bad.

Okay, yes, yes. This is the momentum that we need. Now, set up the date for

the bar tonight.

Okay. This will be the best way for me to soft launch the placement.

Okay. I'm going to go, but this isn't one of those sex rooms that I see in my

real estate surprises subreddit, because if it is, you're legally obligated to

tell me.

Subreddit where?

So it's all good? She told me that there is nothing to worry about.

There's nothing. Don't worry about it. Well, there is something to worry about

because if she's not two-timing you, then she's two-timing America as a world

-class queer baiter. If it's between America and me, I choose me.

Welcome back to the Influencer Island Reunion.

Our influencers may be on an island, but it looks like two of our stars still

have some narrow stretches of land to explore.

Grab your sunscreen because things are about to heat up between Drea and

Annika. Take a look.

This had Remy's name on it in the fridge. But until she cracks two million

on TikTok, I don't think she deserves this pudding.

But something sells when you do.

Could Anika and Drea be sharing a little more than pudding?

Your girlfriend has a girlfriend.

Drea is moving in and you're sulking here without even putting up a fight?

So I wasn't overreacting. It's not like I really care if Annika's into women. I

just want her to be honest with me. Like, is she just playing it up for the

cameras or is this how she feels about Drea? Do we even know if Drea is gay?

So go ask her. Are you out of your mind?

That's rude.

Fine, just... Hold my drink. Thank you.

Is your staring problem terminal, or are you just rude?

I have this dilemma.

I have free tickets to a Sparks game, but that same night, I have a Meghan

Trainor concert.

What would you do in that situation?

I'd ask myself if I was a lesbian or a gay man and make my decision from there.

So you would go to the Sparks game? I think organized sports.

of any kind are a legal form of slavery and I'm not a Meghan Trainor fan because

I don't like the future kids' pops.

I have to go.

So?

Kinsey scale?

I don't know.

Which scale?

She's off the charts.

Okay, this is quite the underground railroad immersion experience you got

going on. Okay, but Harriet did not have drip like this. Dude, come on, show some

respect. Okay, my apologies, but I'm allowing you to christen this place, so

don't mess up the vibes.

Welcome to the dugout.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, real quick.

I've been going to the top, yeah, real quick.

I'ma switch up on the spot, yeah, real quick.

I'ma cop it while it's hot, yeah, real quick.

Yo, he's basing his top nine.

Congratulations.

Hi,

what can I get you?

I need two kilos of service, please.

Hey, look up.

I don't know what game you're playing with Drea, but you need to watch

yourself. I know that you think that you have a handle on this, but you're going

to confuse people.

I'm fine.

I know you. So I am not losing sleep, but the rest of the world might not be

as kind. Even Harry Styles lost fans because he acts sexually fluid, but then

he only openly dates women.

Harry Styles.

Okay, if he is not immune to a flop era, literally no one is.

Even you.

Is that us?

I'm fine.

Okay, well, count your days on lesbian Twitter.

But I did want to say thank you for coming down here on such short notice.

And for not running when I invited you to a basement for our first date.

I'm more concerned with just how many Toni Morrison books you have.

I knew Solomon had a song, but clearly I missed most of his discography.

Yeah, about that.

That wasn't me, okay? It's my friend Doug. He packs a lot of creativity into

such a trim frame.

But my profile was so cringe.

Why'd you come?

I know a good thing when I see him.

Plus, a crazy friend of mine Googled you before I could swipe left.

Okay. To crazy friends.

To crazy friends.

You know, I may be, um, saying this too soon, but I'm thinking we should do this

again.

I like that you said that.

I've been on these apps for months, and you're the first person I feel a

connection with.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to delete them after tonight.

Delete them?

Well, then how would we communicate?

Well, people who are dating typically have each other's numbers.

What?

Dating?

Like dating for real? Like D-A-T-I-N-G dating?

Nice, nice.

You know what? If we're going to be potentially dating, I think you should

know some stuff about me. I think it's only fair, you know, that I just put all

my cards on the table. Come on. I bite my fingernails.

Also bite my toenails. I cry during sex, not because I'm afraid, more so because

I'm emotionally involved. Sometimes too emotionally involved to where I push

people away, but only because I really want them.

I just cannot wrap my head around why Monica would care more about a TV

storyline than our relationship.

You are a better man than me. There is no way that let my chick have me out

here looking like boo-boo to fool.

I mean, do her fans even know that she has a boyfriend? She hasn't even hard

-launched me on IG yet. Right now, I would settle for a soft launch. You

know, just like a pic of our shadows with an... us period caption maybe her

just like coming out in a relationship with a man that's literally not a thing

but it is super jacked up of annika to be using queerness as a tool to entice

more followers when the gayest thing about her is her cool for the summer

playlist okay now you're gay keeping being gay aren't we all on a sexual

spectrum annika could one day be booed up with a girl

Having the potential to be queer does not make you part of the community.

Like, I could be a murderer, but that doesn't mean I'm forcing white women to

thirst after me before I get there.

Why is all of this on Annika, though?

She's queerbaiting, that's why.

Look, all I see is someone trying to do whatever she can to further her career.

And if the producers are making it look like her relationship with Drea is

something it's not, and she's not coming out to say it's fake, who's really at

fault?

Damn. We're rolling.

Welcome back to the Influencer Island reunion.

We're having a fab fit, fundamentally good time.

Now let's take a question from our audience. What's your name and where are

you from?

Hi, I'm Blair. I'm from Towson, Maryland. And my question is for Anika

Andrea. Hi, Blair. Ladies, are you gay, queer, bi, pan?

Or just straight and straight up lying bitches.

Thanks.

Keep my girl's name out of your mouth.

I'm sorry. I'm speaking for my girlfriend, Annika Longstreet.

When I say that she is straight, an ally to all, and straight with me.

She's just faking it for the show. So in conclusion, she's straight and straight

with me. Thank you.

Thank you.

So that didn't go as planned, but on the bright side, at least everyone knows the

truth. I tell you I'm not cheating and you're still in your feelings? I was

just trying to protect you. I don't need you to protect me. I need you to trust

me. I'm trying to make this work for you without compromising myself.

What about compromising me and us, Annika? This isn't about you.

Don't you see how much pressure I'm under here?

It's so hard being a black woman on a show like this.

Either I'm too ghetto or I'm too white acting or I'm used as a meme in a modern

day minstrel show.

Between producers and agents and fans and interviews and now you?

I'm realizing I can't control much here.

So it's just okay for everybody to think that you're stepping out because it's

easier? To be honest, I thought no harm, no foul. I got some extra followers and

more engagement from a misunderstanding.

But I guess Zara was right.

I didn't think it would hurt anyone, but...

It clearly did, and it got out of hand.

Plus, it hurts me to hurt you.

So I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry for projecting my insecurities onto you and for

embarrassing you at work. I really hope they don't call HR.

Reality television doesn't have HR.

So... Homegirl laid it on too thick. Yeah, man. I mean, she was talking about

deleting apps. I wasn't even trying to be on them in the first place. Well,

that might have been my fault.

Yeah, made the basement a bit too sexy.

Sorry. Yeah.

With that being said, I'm going to get rid of the facade, get rid of the

profile. But please send me the Photoshop pic of me skydiving. My mom

wants something more impressive to put on the Christmas card other than has

job.

Say less.

No, thanks.

I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with you making those noises while

looking at photos of me.

Rose, it's a work thing.

A work thing? Yeah.

Okay, well, if, you know, if Ray's making you this giddy, I might have to

rethink our best friendship.

Okay. It's not that I'm jealous, man. I'm just saying it'll be on site next

time I see him. Stand down, because this is just our new wine rep.

Her name's Sloan.

Am I getting, like, some subtle notes of a crush here, Douglas?

Hey, man, you could call me Suave Blanc, because I'm about to swirl, nip, sip,

spit out a new relationship the way things are going.

That doesn't sound appropriate.

I know.

Drea, is it? I didn't catch your name when we spoke earlier.

You mean when you spoke at me?

Tomato, tomato.

It's Drea.

Drea, are you gay?

How are you? Took the day off?

Why do you care so much?

Because you think I'm hot.

See you around, Zada.

Reality television holds up a mirror for us to reflect on society and our place

in it.

It's less about the drama and more about realizing we are all crafting storylines

and curating how we want the world to see us.

But I'm ready to leave a lot of what I thought would be my edit on the cutting

room floor.

Are you hard launching?

Only if you promise to hard launch me later tonight.

I like her.