Original subtitles

Hey, remember when I said we could save money for Kira's college fund by growing

our own food?

Well, crops are in.

Well, that is amazing.

You spent months planting and weeding and fertilizing, and next thing you

know, you've almost got a carrot.

Good morning, neighbors.

So, Kira, you ready to hit the mall? Yeah, but before we go, I need you to

sign this permission slip for a school field trip. Sure.

This is to get your navel pierced.

Cool. I thought we were going to the science center.

All right.

Man, I got to start reading those things.

Okay, I'm going to go up and change, then we'll go. Why don't you just wear

that?

My old gardening shirt?

Oh, shoot.

I've patched this thing a hundred times.

Only wear it to scare the crows away.

I never thought I'd say this, but what you're wearing is actually cool.

Wait.

Are you saying I'm cool?

I'm saying your shirt is cool.

Kira's right.

Patchwork is the new silk.

I want to be cool.

I wish I'd save my old rags and patch them onto a shirt.

I'll give you $20 for that shirt.

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Barbara Jean. I'm not going to sell you the shirt off

my back.

Okay, I get it.

$30. No way. $40.

$60. $65. Sold. Yeah!

It's the planet in the past. Though my life is changing fast.

Who I am is who I want to be.

A single mom who works too hard. Who loves her kids and never stops.

With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter.

I bet you're in a good mood. I got you a fudge-covered apple.

Wow.

This looks like an apology apple.

What'd you do?

Nothing.

Yet.

Hey, you know how when we're going somewhere and you get all mad because

you're waiting for me because I'm doing my hair?

Well, those days are over.

Because all the guys on the football team are shaving their heads.

You want to shave your head? If that's what it takes to make you happy.

Forget it, Van. You know how I freaked when you got that perm?

Which... We don't talk about the perm.

Look, it's for work. And if I don't do it because my wife won't let me, all the

guys will make fun of me. This isn't like high school taunting, okay? They're

pro football players. They're clever.

Mom, Van wants to shave his head.

For business purposes.

Why don't you practice by mowing the lawn?

I absolutely forbid you to do this. End of discussion.

But all the guys are doing it. I can't be the only one with soft, wavy brown

hair.

Well, whatever you do, don't get another one of those perms.

So, Reba, I got good news.

What? Brock came to his senses about quitting his job to play golf?

I have not come to my senses, Reba, and I never will.

So, you remember that shirt that you sold me? No refund.

No, I showed it to a friend who took it to a guy that he works with, and he said

that he thinks he could sell those shirts.

We're going to be rich. Sure, we're going to be rich. And Brock's going to

be Tiger Woods at the Fat Chance Desert Classic.

Reba, I'm serious. We should do this.

You know, a lot of people make money selling things they make. And a lot of

people lose money by selling things they make. Yeah, but you don't hear about

those people.

Well, maybe you got a point.

Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones.

So, um, you don't mind if I kind of take this and run with it?

Hmm. Barbara Jean, you can run with this idea. You can run with scissors.

You can run with the bad crowd, just so long as you run.

Because everyone else is?

Jeez.

It's okay to do something just because everyone else is doing it?

Yeah.

To be cool.

Thanks.

Hey, Tiki, where are you going?

Graveyard.

Hi, honey.

You look really pretty.

I know, but you're still not shaving your head. Why do we always have to

fight about stuff, huh?

I mean, I think the world would be a better place if people with opposing

views would just agree.

Oh, very mature. Listen, what I'm trying to say is... Cut it out.

Ah, the round table.

Kira, don't you think Bam would look stupid if he shaved his head?

Yeah, but are we going to list all the ways that he would look stupid? Because

I've only got a few years until college.

Look, everybody's doing it to show unity, all right? To show we're all on

the same team.

Oh, jeez.

If only there were a way to do that with matching jerseys.

I can't talk to you.

Van, do you mind if I speak for you?

Yeah.

No.

I don't know. What?

Van's trying to say that playing on a team involves complex group dynamics,

and seemingly self-destructive acts are actually initiation rites that foster

camaraderie. Didn't I just say that?

Look, I know it's dumb. So what? It was dumb when my high school team dressed in

drag on game day. You didn't say anything about that then.

Huh. That's the first time I heard those were game days.

Look, this is important to me, okay? Right now, I'm the new guy.

Rookie. I just want to feel like I belong.

But I don't want you to do it. Why not? Just because. Well, that's not good

enough. Well, it used to be.

You don't even care what I think. You just want me to agree with the decision

that you've already made.

Yes. Thank you for understanding.

You know what?

Do whatever you want. I don't care.

You were the prettiest on game days.

I thought so, too.

Good news, Reba.

I shot a two under par.

I hit a seven iron on 18. Tap in for birdie. Oh, that's terrific, Brock.

Go in the kitchen and get yourself a cookie.

Oh, good, Brock. You're here.

I have excellent news.

Can it top how Brock killed seven birdies with his 18 wood?

Well, good job, honey.

And I bet you're going to be proud of me, too.

Three.

So much he ordered a hundred of them to sell in stores all over town.

This is just a deposit.

That's great, honey. Isn't that great, Reba? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And he said that this is just the first order. He said that he

can see all of Houston wearing these shirts. And after that, all of Texas.

And after that, he didn't say.

But if he did, I bet he would have said America.

Wow. This is just like me with golf. Yeah.

Except I got a big fat check.

No, I meant you have a lot of potential. Oh, I do.

And I have a big fat check.

Wow, this is something.

So that guy said that my shirts could sell like that?

Well, you know, he didn't mention you, but yes.

Wow, that's great.

So fork over my $150.

Why would I do that? Because it's my shirt.

My design is the hip new thing.

Who knew?

Well, not you.

And it wasn't so much your design he bought as my salesmanship.

Oh, well, does he want a hundred of your salesmanship or a hundred of my design?

You know, the way I see it, you guys did this together.

We really did it.

I recognized the potential of the shirt, and Reba didn't want any part of it. She

told me to run with it, and I did.

Me, not her.

Right, but it was my shirt.

Yeah, which I bought, which would make it my shirt.

I bought a greeting card once. That doesn't make me Hallmark.

Well, I bought a lollipop once.

Doesn't make me a sucker.

This is my idea, my business, my company, and my money.

Your idea, my design.

Your business, my design. Do you get where I'm going with this? Hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey.

Why don't you guys just share?

Oh, she has... Get her chance.

Oh, come on, Barbara Jean.

It was Reba's design.

It's only fair that she gets half.

Now, you remember what your mother taught you.

Don't shave above the knee unless you're expecting company.

No, the other thing.

He who is fair makes friends everywhere.

Okay, fine, but if she gets half the money, she does half the work.

Well, of course I will.

I've been looking for a way to get some cash for Kears College Fund.

Apparently I'll do anything.

Fine.

You win.

We'll work together, but I'll call the shots.

If you hear any shots, they're coming from me.

do three shirts a night we're still ahead of schedule what's that the stink

of mediocrity okay moving forward i have cut up a bunch of fabric for patches

so why don't you make a prototype for us to work from what about the shirt

already made it was left with the buyer what why would you do that management

made a decision we're just gonna have to live with it

Go back and get the shirt and we'll start again tomorrow.

And lose a whole day?

Unacceptable!

We've got shirts, we've got patches, do that thing you do!

If you don't lower your voice, I'm going to do that thing I've always wanted to

do.

I knew you were going to ruin this for me.

Ruin what?

Barbara Jean, quit being so testy.

I am not testy.

I am a serious businesswoman.

and this company can afford a psychiatrist.

Hey, Cheyenne, what you doing?

Making a list of insulting names to call Van when he gets back from shaving his

head. You know, I can't believe he's doing that after I absolutely positively

told him not to.

Oh, my gosh.

This is the first husband who's ever had a problem with a direct order.

Did you happen to tell him why you didn't want him to do this?

No. Huh. We might be on to something.

Look, I can ask you what's wrong, and eventually you'll tell me. Then I'll go

to Van and tell him. Then he'll tell me his side of the story, and I'll just get

you two to work it out. But you know what?

I still got dinner to make. So go talk to him. Yeah, but Van doesn't have a

side, Mom.

Of course he does. That's what marriage is, finding out each other's side.

Go talk to him. All right, I get it. It's just I... Go talk to him.

I just feel like I'm married.

You know, you can be very annoying sometimes, Mother.

The kid has a point. Ah, shut up.

What's it going to be?

Shave it.

Bet you hear this a lot.

My old lady doesn't want me to do it.

But, I mean, it's my head.

It should be my decision.

I just hate when she's mad at me.

I don't know. I don't know.

What do you think?

Okay.

Okay, let's do it.

over, is there?

Van, I need to talk to you.

Could you give us a minute, please?

Sure.

I'll go see if that stripy thing is turning.

What is it, Cheyenne?

I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Whoa.

That feels weird.

Do this and then do this.

Look, Van, my mom... My

mom said that I should tell you why I didn't want you to do this

instead of just ordering you around.

Let me finish.

I didn't want you to do this because it made me feel left out.

Oh, so I am.

You want to shave your head, too?

No.

My hair's beautiful.

I felt left out because, you know, you have the job and it...

Taking up all these areas of your life and now it's taking your hair.

This doesn't mean anything. This is something I have to do for my job.

It's similar to how some people have to take certain tests to get a job. Like

when a bartender has to pass the bar.

Look, it used to be just you and me.

Now you have this whole other life and I'm not even a part of it.

I tried to make you a part of it.

I mean, I came to you two times.

I mean, I wanted your support.

I wanted you to be here with me because I'm doing this for you and Elizabeth.

I'm doing this for our future.

I mean, do you think I really want to look like the mayor of Munchkinland?

Look, I'm sorry, Van. It's just... You know, this is the only Van I've ever

known.

Look, look.

If you don't want me to finish, I guess I don't have to.

I mean, yeah.

I'm pretty sure we can afford a very narrow toupee.

So what's it going to be?

Okay.

Jake's in bed.

How's your head?

Are you sane yet?

a failure.

We failed.

I didn't fail. I ain't started yet.

Jean, calm down.

We got plenty of time.

No, we don't.

We don't know how much time we have.

Sure we do.

The shirts aren't due till next Friday.

Reba, open your eyes.

I'm not talking about the shirt.

I'm talking about Brock.

He's selling the practice. He wants to play pro golf.

I don't think he knows what he's doing.

Oh, honey.

Is that what you're worried about?

Of course he doesn't know what he's doing.

He's making all these changes, Reba.

What if the next change he wants to make is me?

Oh, that's not going to happen.

Well, you'll forgive me if I don't find much comfort in the assurances of his ex

-wife.

If the worst does happen, Reba, I... I just need to know that I can be

something other than Brock's wife.

But apparently I can't.

I can't even be the crazy lady that makes shirts.

Barbara Jean, he loves you.

He loved you too.

The man's a pig.

The company finally agrees on something.

Barbara Jean, look at me.

Look at me. Look at me.

Brock isn't going anywhere.

He loves you. He's crazy about you. Okay?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Let's see what you got going here.

Barb Jean, I gotta look at it sometime.

Come on.

By the time it goes back, I might even miss it.

When's that going to be, by the way?

Hey, honey, it's Daddy.

I didn't treat you like that when you were bald.

Sorry, I think I made a mistake.

No, you just have to remember why you did it, to be like one of the guys.

Well, let's see.

You guys didn't do it.

What? Yeah, they tricked me.

They're mean.

Hold me.