Original subtitles

Keanu Reeves!

And you all know George Lucas, right?

I'd really like to go home, though.

Come on, only a few more weeks left in the exhibit.

You can do it.

Can I at least have my cell phone?

Oh, George, you're just gonna use it to call for help.

Oh, and over here, oh wow, the most important figures in the exhibit.

Without them, there would be no Hollywood.

James and Henry... Who?

Are you serious?

James and Henry.

Minions.

I know the Minions, but I've never seen... James and Henry.

Yeah, never heard of them.

Me neither.

But this is insane.

James and Henry are legends, and they changed Hollywood forever.

Not just Hollywood, they changed the world.

And their story is epic.

What is she talking about?

You know what?

Change of plans.

Everybody sit down.

Now, all of you, come on, sit down.

Tommy, you two glasses, and Mr. Johnson, and you too, Bubble Girl.

As you may know, throughout time, dozens of Minion tribes have been roaming

our planet, searching for the perfect villain to serve.

And among them was a very special guy.

That's him right there, James.

He liked to draw, paint, but above all, he loved

to invent stories and share them with his buddies.

Hey, Alberto, look at the book.

The rest of his tribe, however, they were just interested in one thing.

To serve the most evil master they can find.

And this guy checked all the boxes.

Scary?

Check.

Burly?

Check.

Super mean?

Double check.

He was a perfect ten.

To show their new master how much they cared, the Minions did everything for him.

But James wanted to go one step further and

create something truly wonderful for his master.

Boot, boot, boot!

The Minions were banished from the Cyclops'

island that day, and everyone was mad at James.

Well, not everyone.

One other Minion found it very funny.

And that was Henry.

They were inseparable.

The best of friends and by each other's side, no

matter where they went or who they worked for.

Their next master was extremely promising, very powerful, and importantly,

very evil.

And his book, oh, dear me, it had some wicked spells in it.

Monster.

Oh, la, oh.

Les dames amants, les dames amies.

Les mega cutas.

Go, go, go!

Once again, the Minions had inadvertently lost a master.

On the plus side, James and Henry's friendship became stronger that day.

Even if it made some of the other Minions unhappy.

This is Ed, by the way.

He's a friendly Minion who is a bit hard of hearing.

So they came up with a way of communicating with each other.

And so the Minions went from one boss to the next.

And there were many.

Uh, buddies?

But after a while, they couldn't find any more evil masters to serve.

For a very long time, the Minions wandered about, tired and losing hope.

And that very bossy Minion there, that's Dick.

He barked at everyone to make camp for the night.

Now, because of their non-stop blabbering and giggling, Dick ordered Henry and James

to go sleep away from everyone else, as per usual.

Which was fine with them, as it meant they could

stay up all night discussing the meaning of life.

The cosmos, their hopes, their dreams.

Oh, poor el!

Oh la la!

Malpeli!

Serapellissimo, James!

Ah, et là, c'est les Dicks, mais sous la paragousse.

Mic, honneur, mic, honneur, mic, honneur!

Hey, oh!

Henry, what kind?

De... de... quesaco?

Casaco, que le mi cadeau.

Allez!

Casa!

Oh, c'est l'ami!

C'est l'ami!

And with that, Dick lost his temper... again.

And he said all he had on his mind about the two friends.

Henry thought long and hard about Dick's remarks... and decided to punch him.

But thankfully, Ed intervened, signed for his friend to calm down,

breathe deeply, and...

punched Dick himself.

Well, this seemed like the breaking point.

But then, Dick saw something that would change the Minions' lives forever.

Oh, Dick!

do you have any idea what you have done?

Of course, I did the boss and the conductor,

the chicanesen, and everything, everything!

It was the perfect scene, all that work, all that money, all that effort!

Get out of here!

You, you, you, you, you, you, you, and you!

Me?

Definitely you!

Get out!

Out!

Out!

Out!

Out!

Out!

Out!

It's going in!

Hey, boss, we're out of film.

This is not going to go down well.

You tell that no-talent bum, if he messes up again, he's fired!

And then, send him a bottle of champagne, because it's his birthday!

Ah, there he is, our favorite director!

Oh, hello, Mr. Bright, Mr. Bright.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, let's see what you've shot.

All the scenes, now.

We are so excited to see you.

Come on, let's go!

Just so you know, Mr. Bright, we had... a small... problem.

A problem?

It's just a puzzle for French to solve.

Problems cost money.

Oh, well, this scene is terrible.

You will never work in this town again.

But we're sure you'll do great in any number of other towns.

Roll the scene, please, and thank you.

Oh, here we go.

What is going on?

I know, that's what I was trying to tell you, isn't it?

What are those things?

Ah, they, uh... You changed the whole scene!

But I didn't!

You did!

Guys, oh boy, I did it!

He's genius!

What?

You see, it's great!

It's better than great.

I love it!

Those sickly children!

Oh, they're fantastic!

They have to be in every shot of the movie.

Ah, yeah!

Okay, absolutely!

I'm going to get my very good friends.

It's those, uh, uh, what's their names?

Put them in the movie!

Sam?

Elwood?

Would you mind playing it?

All right!

Oh, that's the stuff, Frankie!

Ah, yes it is, Elwood.

Get them!

Get them, boys!

Faster, faster!

We need to find them!

Where are they?

Get out of the way!

Move it, move it!

Take the next right!

They could be on the sunset!

Hey, hey!

Don't let them get away!

You got it!

Uh, first things first.

Who are you?

My name is Henry.

Me?

And my name is Dick.

Ah, it's actually Ed.

Uh... And me again!

And me again!

And me again!

And me again!

Is there a name I can just call all of you?

Minions!

Look, Minions, my name is Max.

Hello, Max!

Yeah, hi!

Okay, I'm so sorry about earlier.

So, I would like to work with you.

We should make movies!

Movies?

Movies?

You don't know what movies are?

Movies are stories that play out right in front of you.

And people love them!

And people love the people who make them!

Welcome to Pride Brothers Pictures!

Where we make all kinds of movies!

Hello, Joe!

It is fantastico!

It's exciting, isn't it?

Ah, James, I love your enthusiasm!

How about you, gentlemen?

Do you want to make movies too?

Excellent!

Let's get to work!

So, I need you to act in a very simple scene.

You stay here, and I shall return!

Okay, listen up!

So, here's the scene.

You see those large, heavily armed men?

They suspect you have killed their leader, and they want you dead!

Alright, I need you to really sell the drama!

You do a good job, and you're hired!

You fail, and it's back to wandering the streets, scavenging for food.

Have fun with it!

Okay, ready?

Action!

Attack!!!

Back to back!

Buddy!

Back to back!

Nothing?

Okay, that was... perfect!

Idiots!

Are you ready to become stars?

And I mean the biggest stars the world has ever seen!

The

world has never been a better place!

The economy is forever booming, with no sign of slowing down, ever!

People have never been so happy, and the future has never looked so bright!

Meanwhile, over in Hollywood, the new stars of the silver screen took the world

by storm, and changed the face of the motion picture industry forever!

With movies like The Good, The Bad, and The Stupid!

Look behind you, and then down!

And they came from the stars to hit you with

a frying pan, part four, Target Miami Beach!

The minions have become the kings of the box office, and

it seems that the public just can't get enough of them!

We spent weeks with the super mini sensations, and

we're going to let you in on a few of their secrets!

Our boys have moved into a luxurious house in Battery Hills, where they'll be able to

enjoy a comfortably large game room, and an equally comfortable gigantic sauna!

Their lives have changed since Bane hit them!

They can't go anywhere without being recognized!

Haha!

Run, boys, run!

Looks are everything in Tinseltown, and the minions are

always on the hunt for the hottest, most modern looks!

And not only that!

Now there's Minions merchandise!

What will they pick up next?

And boy, Hollywood has never seen parties like

the ones those party gentlemen are throwing!

Yes, the Minions are on top of the world!

They truly have it all!

Yes!

On it!

I can't wait to see!

On comment, please!

James, my boy, you have a real gift for filmmaking!

Oh, thank you!

Yeah, you have what it takes to become a director!

There could even be an Oscar in your future!

Oscar?

What's that called?

Ah, it's an award given out to the best films and filmmakers!

Ah!

And the Oscar for the best movie ever goes to...

James!

Thank you!

James!

James!

Are you alright, my friend?

Ah!

Wait, what's happening?

What is this?

I'll tell you what it is!

It's the future of cinema!

Everyone's doing it, Max!

From now on, our movies are gonna have... Sound!

That right there, what I just said, that was sound!

I have a very good feeling about this!

Quiet, everyone!

Are you ready, Henry?

This will be great!

Okay, we're recording!

And action!

You disappeared from my life five years ago and

now you think you can come waltzing back in?

Well, no!

No, I say!

Get lost, you handsome bastard!

Oh, Henry!

My mother warned me about men like you!

Mmm, body!

Piñata!

Carbonara!

Lasagna!

What?

What?

What?

Are you with us, Sarge?

We need you!

What are we gonna.

..

Yes, Sarge?

Can I have a cup of coffee, please?

Tiny bit of milk.

Two sugars.

Thank you.

Bullseye!

This is a disaster!

We've lost millions!

You know who I blame?

Them!

Sadly, yes.

Get out of here!

Bob, we wish you the best of luck in your new endeavor and we

hope we can still be friends who never speak to each other.

Leave!

And have a great life away from us.

Oscar?

James, you're never gonna win an Oscar!

You're done!

You're fired!

Goodbye, Eric.

Bye, bye, bye.

Hasta la vista, Quentin.

Bye, bye, Max.

Goodbye, Stephen.

Tschüss!

Ciao, Federico.

Bye, bye, Max.

Dick.

Max.

Henry, James, good luck, my friends.

Don't worry, boys.

It's just a minor setback.

Thank you.

You're going to be find things, James.

You're going to do great things.

Hey, James!

Bye, bye, Max.

No, no, no!

Why?

Why did you do that?

Bravo, Dick, bravo.

No!

Come back, Vittor!

Okay.

Come back, Vittor.

Puccucci, puccuc.

Hey, Vittor.

Good night.

Good night, Vittor.

Hey, Mitch, good night.

Good night, Greg.

Good night, George.

Good night, Steven.

Good night, Bruno.

Good night, Julian.

Thomas, good night.

Good night, James.

Mercato?

Eureka!

Patron!

C'è un storia!

Confida Minions!

Chiedi Patagon!

L'epoca nostra!

Padanza!

L'epoca nostra!

Maca!

L'epoca nostra!

Pari saca nostra!

James puncia la storia!

E la trasforma in movies!

Movies?

Cretino idea!

Ma la storia di James era fantastico!

Minions non maca movies!

Succa di Big Boss!

E la duretta!

E l'alba James!

E giuntas!

Non è che tale!

Basta!

Basta!

Big Boss!

E... Big Boss!

Ops!

Scusa Greg!

Alles gut?

Si!

Tu maca tu movies!

Tu fingere boss!

Come riga!

Big Boss!

Big Boss!

Big Boss!

Big Boss!

Big Boss!

Big Boss!

Parada!

Non è maca di movie!

E la sera!

La vera...

Oh, he's so scary!

James, I love your movie!

Yes, it's clear this is a real passion project.

And you need to make it, whatever challenges get in your way.

Advice?

Well, where do I start?

I mean...

You guys have film equipment?

No.

Ah, no film equipment.

A crew?

No crew either.

And you wrote a monster movie?

With a very big monster?

And what are you going to use for your monster?

Ah.

Aha.

Okay.

Listen to me carefully.

What I'm going to tell you is very, very important.

So, if you want to make a Fantasticus very cool monster

movie, you will need a Fantasticus very cool monster.

I can't really help you with that, I'm afraid.

But I can give you this.

A camera?

Really?

It was a gift from my father.

My first camera.

I'm passing it on to you now.

I believe in you, James.

I know you'll do great.

And remember, a very cool monster movie needs a very cool monster.

Ah, darling, come over here.

Good luck, guys.

Ah.

Oh,

I'm happy you're happy.

Now, do you mind if I go on with the story?

Sorry, I get a little excited sometimes.

Yes, please continue.

What about Dick and the other minions?

Did they find a new boss?

Oh, yes, well, I was getting to it.

Dick and his friends were about to fulfill the mission of every minion ever and find

their tribe the greatest, most evil master to serve.

Turn to activities and listen.

What's going on?

I am Dork, and I was sent here by the supreme

High Ruler to judge this pathetic planet.

Big Boss?

But first, a Dork needs to find loyal assistants.

Hey, you, with the very cool spaceship, do you want to serve Dork?

Okay, let's go home.

You can do this kind of thing on your mom's weekend.

Oh, yes, and...

Guys, look at this winner.

Ah, thank you.

That's very kind.

Are you and your burly friends interested in

assisting Dork in a potentially dangerous mission?

Hey, I think the weirdo in the lame robot suit is talking to us.

I can assure you that this is no costume.

You know, it's dangerous to hang out here dressed as a tin can.

A tin can wishes it were as tough as me, so there.

I sense you are preparing a hostile attack.

Please stop.

Oh, yeah?

Or what?

Why, you...

Now you've done it.

Dork was on a simple mission to decide whether or not Earth should be invaded.

And then you went and got all up in Dork's facial recognition sensors.

Dork has made his decision regarding the fate of this planet.

Dork is going to invade Earth and enslave humanity!

Hey, hey, excuse me, excuse me!

Ah, greetings.

I am Dork.

Ah, hello, Dork.

I am Dick.

Salutations, Richard.

No, no, no, Dick.

Hmm, okay.

Do you want to assist Dork in a potentially dangerous mission?

Si!

Great!

Follow Dork back to Dork's secret lair!

Viva!

Viva!

Viva!

Okay, mal auto-tipac, Leonid.

Henry?

Si, si.

Ed?

Vamos!

Miso soup!

Yaki unigiri!

Luka edamame!

Shizuki nanenomu!

Daifuku!

Luka!

I am forever!

What are you doing there, mister?

Henry?

Sono veloz!

Buah, non hai buta' para tu movie, James.

Buah, buah, venidablos.

Oh, no.

I feel like I've disappointed you in some way.

I'm so sorry.

You want big, scary monsters?

Come here, come here!

Oh, you need monsters for your movie!

I know.

Magma Ichabod the Deceiver.

But my friends just call me Goomy for short.

Oh, so James.

Oh, James.

Rolls off the face tendrils.

James.

Is that it, Henry?

Hey, bello!

Henry!

Oh, I like it.

It sounds tough and rugged.

It's like, oh, look out, here comes... Henry!

It a lid.

Wipe your insolent feet before stepping into the lair of dirt.

Uh... Tamarale lair?

Affirmative.

Everyone, file in.

Dort?

Where have you been?

Oh, Mrs. Kotikoff.

Yes, so sorry.

Dort had an important work meeting.

But I come with good news.

Look what I found on my way back.

Those muffins you love.

I only like the blueberry ones.

Yes, you're in luck.

And I can only eat them with a glass of milk.

Enjoy your fruit-filled baked goods.

Ah, what a sweet, sweet, lovely woman.

She shall be spared when Dort overthrows the planet.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

As will her cat.

Uh, hello?

Sorry.

Whoops.

Everyone, commence greeting Dort's roommate, Floyd.

Uh, hello, Floyd.

Hey, Dort, is that you?

Whoa, whoa, lower your throat volume, minion.

This is definitely a lair.

No, look up.

Pink.

Oh, Floyd.

Yes, yes, Floyd.

Caprisci, the Macedonian.

Ha, ha, ha, you foolish, naive minion.

You are actually standing in a very futuristic alien

spaceship, made to look like a dingy apartment.

Very realistic, isn't it?

Even a weird smell.

That's all fake.

Impressive, I know.

But, but, but nothing.

No, Dort needs to retreat to his private

quarters to, uh, report back to his home planet.

Engaging in slaving my own...

Oh, hello.

Okay, okay, calma, calma.

Hey, buddies, look up.

Wubble, wubble, wubble, wubble.

Hi, fellas.

Wubble, wubble.

James, you're so passionate.

I think you're a genius.

Oh, thank you.

Huh?

Ha, ha, whoopsie.

Attention, attention minions and followers.

Dort has finally received his orders from the supreme High Ruler.

It is time to officially invade Earth.

Oh, oh, yes, oh, sorry, my apologies.

With me.

Dort, Dort, Dort, Dort, Dort.

Oh, hello there, little fella.

Dort meant your sandcastle no harm.

Hey, please stop your shovel attack.

Cease immediately, or you will pay the price.

Look out, look out, buddies.

Let's see how you fare against a similar attack, tiny insurgent.

Hey, you, in the robot suit.

No, no, no, you can't take that kid.

He must be taught a lesson.

And also, he started it.

You are not from around these parts, are you?

Well, no.

I originate from the planet Metlar.

Near the G45T system.

Right.

I don't know where that is.

But, I'm from a small town in Minnesota myself, so I

understand the feeling of being a stranger in the big city.

So, what you're saying is, I am now free to kick him.

No, you can't.

Well, I should get a move on.

My friends and I are headed to a protest for women's rights.

Do you believe women and men are equal?

Why, yes, of course.

Oh, good.

And that you both now belong to the Supreme Ruler equally.

You're so funny and cute.

I mean, what you said.

What you said is cute.

Pardon?

Come on, Debbie, we're going to be late.

Did you say Dort was... Yes, women of the Pope!

Yes, women of the Pope!

Yes, women of the Pope!

Don't kick children!

Uh, us?

Minions!

Dort is, uh, uh, slightly postponing Earth's invasion!

Huh?

You heard me!

Follow Dort!

Give women the vote!

Give women the vote!

Give women the vote!

Uh, uh, uh, uh, yes?

Yes, women of the Pope!

Yes, women of the Pope!

Yes, women of the Pope!

The

entrance is straight ahead!

Hmm, hmm.

Wait for you to meet my best!

Watch your step!

You're going to love these gents.

We get them, and then we go to... Hollywood!

Hollywood, yes, sir.

To make your movie!

Don't be scared, though.

They're such good guys.

Just try not to look too delicious.

Look at you!

Behind you!

Hey, Gooby!

Thanks for the jailbreak!

Ha ha ha!

All right!

Where were we?

Howard and Phillips, destroy world!

Yeah!

But wait, I'm sorry.

Quick question.

I want to eat one of these funny-looking yellow guys first.

Is that okay?

We are not going to destroy the world, nor eat anyone in this room.

Are we clear?

Not really.

Destroying stuff is kind of our thing.

Uh, not anymore, Phillips.

No, all that stuff is over.

We are no longer evil.

We work in the motion picture industry.

See?

No worldwide destruction.

No devouring funny-looking yellow guys.

We're just going to help James here make his dreams come true.

Huh?

Oh!

Okay!

Ha ha ha!

Wink wink!

Got it!

All right, we're in!

They're in!

Come on, let's go to Hollywood!

Howard having super weird day.

Monster!

Monster!

Yes!

Oh,

where you make muffies?

See?

You hear that, guys?

This is where it all happens!

Oh, oh, oh, look!

This is great!

Huh?

Oh James, you painted such a wonderful picture with your beautiful gibberish.

Your movie is going to be fantastic.

Isn't it, guys?

No!

Who cares about the movie?

I just want to eat people and chase people and... Smoosh people with feet!

Exactly!

Smoosh!

Howard gets it!

Huh?

Oh, ha ha ha!

Okay, just a little moment, please.

Are you and you a word?

We'll be right back.

Okay.

Okay.

Toby,

what are we doing here?

Back in the good old days, you were all about going

from planet to planet, obliterating everything in sight.

Now you want to make movies?

You've changed, man.

Howard, I agree!

Guys, guys, guys, where's the trust?

Of course we're going to destroy everything.

When those cameras start rolling, we're going to conjure Irene.

Irene?

Really?

Yes, Irene, the eater of worlds herself.

We're going to have our revenge, but we're going to destroy everything on the planet.

Destroy!

Come on, stop!

Uh, destroy?

Oh, hey, hey, Henry, buddy!

James!

Ha ha ha ha!

James!

Huh?

Henry?

Hide him!

Hide him quick!

Henry?

Oh, hi, James.

No, there's no Henry here.

Uh, just us monsters, you know, talking about, uh, a friend of ours.

That would be great in your movie!

This is Irene.

Imagine the movie opens with Irene being conjured.

The coolest monster ever, unleashed upon an unsuspecting world!

Oh, I promise you, James, you've never seen a monster like her!

Okay, bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

Me and I were having a little chat.

Henry?

Yeah, yeah, Henry.

And he said he's sorry for being such a doink, and also that the scene we're about

to do, you know, when Irene arrives, he thinks it's missing something.

Huh?

Besides us?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

But Henry had a solution.

What if, when the monster first comes out, she eats a victim?

To let the audience know, she means business.

And better yet, Henry has volunteered to play the part of the first...

Oh, man, he seems excited!

Aww.

Well, James, Jim, Jimmy, Jimmy, are you ready to start making your first movie?

By the way, are you okay with me appearing in this scene?

This is your project.

I don't want to step on any toes.

No problemo!

Luviosa!

Sonor!

Y Smoka!

Minions y monstruos!

Uno!

Earth is living its last moment.

The monsters are...

Yosefos!

Zlatan!

Carbonita!

Alea Dr. Egg!

Mercurio!

Zulubiri!

Caramel!

Magiator!

Beautiful!

So big!

So orange!

So c-c-cool!

Now feed, I read!

Feast on our modest offering, and go forth into the world!

What a perfect

day this has been.

Thank you so much.

Oh, oh no!

No, no, no!

Thank you!

I really like you, Dort.

You're... you're not like the other men that I know.

Hmm, you mean Dort is not all about suppressing

feelings to avoid appearing vulnerable?

Well, yes, but more like with you, well, I feel respected and listened to.

Aww, Debbie!

Dort.

Huh?

Oh my heaven!

Look at that thing!

Well, he's no match for my robot boyfriend!

Go!

Get him, baby!

Oh, yes, yes, but that thing is huge!

Uh, I, um, okay.

Dort?

Dort!

Uh, uh, buddies!

Milly, get Harry, Dort!

Vito, help Henry!

Don't you dare lock me in there!

Yes, indeed!

The day on Earth itself was saved.

All was bright in the world.

Huh?

And get this, Ed had never stopped filming!

And so, after months of hard work and with the help of all of his buddies,

James had made his dream come true.

He had done it.

He had finally made his movie.

And let me tell you, watching the movie play with a theater full of people,

there was truly nothing better.

And the evening just kept getting better and better.

Beautiful moment that none of them would ever forget.

They had done it.

The Minions had achieved success in the face of adversity.

And even though it took a long time and it wasn't always easy, they came out on top.

As a group.

As a tribe.

As friends.