Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

[ WHEEZES ]

ONCE AGAIN, COBRA COMMANDER'S PLANS HAVE GONE AWRY.

DESTRO, DARLING, WHERE ARE YOU?

[ GIGGLES ] THANK YOU, DESTRO.

I'D BE FINISHED WITHOUT YOU.

HOW CAN I EVER REPAY --

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

RETURN TO HEADQUARTERS.

BUT HEADQUARTERS IS DESTROYED.

ALL THE BETTER. NOW VANISH!

YES, MA'AM.

[ SMOOCHES ]

I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MY HERO.

DESTRO, HOW MUCH LONGER

ARE WE GOING TO BE COBRA COMMANDER'S DUPES?

WELL, UH, ONE MORE ARMS DEAL,

AND I WILL HAVE EVERYTHING I WILL EVER NEED.

AND?

AND THEN I -- WE -- SHALL RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND,

LEAVING THE COMMANDER AND HIS INSANITY BEHIND.

YES. THEN ALL OF OUR TROUBLES WILL VANISH.

WE MUST FORCE THE WORLD LEADERS TO LAY DOWN THEIR WEAPONS!

TAKE HOPE, COMRADES -- UH, FRIENDS!

WORLD PEACE IS AT HAND!

AND WHAT DO I HEAR FOR THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART FIGHTER BOMBER?

$1 MILLION.

$1 MILLION?!

WHY, THAT WOULD BARELY PAY FOR THE COCKPIT,

LET ALONE THE PRECIOUS METALS

THAT HAVE GONE INTO THIS FINE --

LET US TURN OUR ATTENTION TO THIS EXCELLENT TANK,

A MASTERPIECE.

DON'T MAKE A MOVE.

OR WE'LL TECHNOLOGICAL YOU RIGHT INTO THE NEXT CENTURY.

NOT LIKELY, G.I. JOE!

AFTER HIM! WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THESE GUYS.

YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST FOR ILLEGAL ARMS PROCUREMENT.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU CANNOT ARREST US.

WE HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY.

[ LAUGHS ]

OF ALL THE --

THEY'RE RIGHT. WE CAN'T ARREST THEM.

BUT WE CAN GET DESTRO. COME ON.

DUCK! UGH!

UGH! THIS IS DISGUSTING!

YEAH, IT REMINDS ME OF YOUR APARTMENT.

NO, THERE'S NO TV IN HERE.

GIVE IT UP, DESTRO. YOU'RE SURROUNDED!

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

DESTRO, UP HERE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE.

CULVERTA FATALE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE BUT A LEGEND.

I AM, BUT I'M ALSO FLESH AND BLOOD.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

WHY DID YOU SAVE ME?

I LONGED TO MEET THE FAMOUS DESTRO.

WELL, PERHAPS WE COULD GO SOMEWHERE MORE INTIMATE.

WHAT OF THE BARONESS?

BAH. SHE IS BUT A CONFUSED CREATURE

WITH WHOM I HAVE BEEN ERRONEOUSLY LINKED.

I MUST WARN YOU, DESTRO,

THAT I AM KNOWN TO BRING BAD LUCK TO MEN.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN LUCK -- ONLY DESTINY.

THEN PERHAPS IT IS DESTINY THAT HAS BROUGHT US TOGETHER --

DESTINY THAT I SEE YOUR FACE.

THAT I CANNOT SHOW YOU.

I SAVED YOUR LIFE, AND YOU CAN'T SHOW ME YOUR FACE?

IT HAS TO DO WITH AN ANCIENT FAMILY CURSE.

MANY YEARS AGO,

ONE OF MY ANCESTORS WAS CONVICTED OF WITCHCRAFT.

STOP HIM!

LET ME GO!

HE WAS FORCED TO WEAR A MASK OVER HIS FACE

FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

HIS DESCENDANTS WERE SO ANGERED

THAT THEY VOWED TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF LAW AND ORDER FOREVER.

WE SHALL ALL WEAR MASKS

UNTIL LAW IS SACRIFICED UPON THE ALTAR OF HISTORY.

I UNDERSTAND.

BUT WHAT OF YOUR OTHER RELATIVES?

WE MEET ON THE WINTER SOLSTICE TO HONOR OUR VOWS.

THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR.

I LOVE LONG NIGHTS.

Flint: AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IT WAS A WASH.

DESTRO GOT AWAY, AND THE ARMS BUYERS GOT OFF SCOT-FREE.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, FLINT -- WE GOT THEIR WEAPONS.

I WOULDN'T WISH THAT DEFECTIVE JUNK ON COBRA.

-WELL, MAYBE. -[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ]

Alpine: MAIL CALL.

WELL, WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?

LOOKS LIKE A PAST-DUE CAR PAYMENT --

WAY PAST DUE.

HA! MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND.

HMM. CHANEL No5.

LOOKS LIKE ROADBLOCK HAS AN ADMIRER.

WHO'S ALISON HART-BURNETT?

THAT'S MINE. THAT'S MY REAL NAME.

HERE YOU GO.

"AFTER CONSIDERABLE EFFORT, WE HAVE IDENTIFIED YOU

"AS THE LAST LIVING HEIR OF DAME AGATHA DOYLE.

"PLEASE COME AT ONCE TO LOCH LOMOND IN NORTHERN SCOTLAND

TO LAY CLAIM TO DOYLE MANOR."

SINCERELY, CLAYTON OLIVER NICHOLS,

SOLICITOR AT LAW."

HEY, TIMING IS PERFECT. I'M ON VACATION NEXT WEEK.

CARE TO JOIN ME, FLINT?

CAN'T. MAYBE THE WEEK AFTER.

YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE DEAL SMELLS FISHY TO ME.

WELL, COME WHEN YOU CAN.

I'LL BE OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, SOLICITOR NICHOLS.

IT'S MY JOB, MADAM.

[ CHUCKLES EVILLY ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ BIRD CAWING IN DISTANCE ]

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT FACE BEFORE?

HEY! [ LAUGHS ]

THE OTHER ONE LOOKS LIKE ME.

[ GASPS ]

WHA-- WHO ARE YOU?

I AM THE HOUSEKEEPER, MADAM.

YOU STARTLED ME.

THIS IS NOT A HOUSE FOR THE TIMID, MADAM.

DON'T TELL ME -- IT'S HAUNTED.

SOME SAY. SO BEWARE.

NEVER ENTER THE NORTH CHAMBER.

IT BE CURSED.

NOW, WHO MIGHT THAT BE?

NEVER SEEN HIM IN THESE PARTS.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ CONVERSATIONS STOP ]

WHAT'LL YOU TAKE, MILORD?

I HAVE COME TO FIND THE SOLICITOR.

THERE BE NAY SOLICITOR IN THIS TOWN.

WE HAVE NO NEED OF ONE.

WE HANDLE OUR PROBLEMS OURSELVES.

WELL, THEN, WHERE'S THE MANOR HOUSE?

YOU CAN SEE IT OVER THERE.

IF THE MIST OFF THE MOORS BE NAY COVERING IT,

THERE IT STANDS,

BUT STAY AWAY IF YOU BE VALUING YOUR LIFE.

'TIS A PLACE OF EVIL.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

WHO'S IN HERE?

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHING ]

AAAAH!

[ GASPS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE NORTH CHAMBER.

I, UH --

ESPECIALLY AT MIDNIGHT.

DECEMBER 21st, THE DAY OF THE WINTER SOLSTICE.

FOUR DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AND I FEEL ANYTHING BUT MERRY.

THE FACT IS, I'M SPOOKED.

[ SHUDDERS ]

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

IT'S ONLY MY IMAGINATION.

IT IS ONLY MY IMAGINATION.

UGH!

NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

AAAH!

AAAH!

-LET ME -- LET ME GO! -[ RATTLING ]

HUH?

[ LIQUID BUBBLING ]

WE SHALL AVENGE THE INDIGNITY PERPETRATED ON OUR ANCESTORS.

All: WE SHALL AVENGE THE INDIGNITY PERPETRATED ON OUR ANCESTORS.

OH, CREATURE OF THE DEEP,

WE CALL UPON YOU TO RENEW OUR PACT WITH THE CAULDRON OF CHAOS.

All: COME FORTH FROM THE PIT, SOURCE OF OUR POWER.

OHH! UGH! UGH!

DELIVER HER UNTO THE PIT.

SHOW YOURSELF.

UGH!

[ GRUNTING ]

UGH!

All: SACRIFICE, DESCEND!

DARK POWER, ARISE!

OKAY, OKAY!

CUT ME LOOSE, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A DONATION.

SHE WILL MAKE GOOD FOOD FOR THE BEAST.

SACRIFICE, DESCEND!

DARK POWER, ARISE!

STOP!

OHHH!

HOW DID YOU LEARN OF OUR SECRET CHAMBER?

I HEARD RATS IN MY BASEMENT

AND CAME DOWN TO PUT OUT A FEW TRAPS.

YOUR ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR DO NOT AMUSE ME.

LET'S JUST SAY I STUMBLED ON YOUR PRAYER MEETING.

JOE AGENTS DO NOT JUST STUMBLE UPON THINGS.

JOE AGENTS?

DESTRO!

TELL THE TRUTH OR DIE!

AAAH!

I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH!

I INHERITED THE MANOR HOUSE!

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW A JACUZZI CAME WITH IT.

I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE

GIVEN THAT THIS IS MY ANCESTRAL HOME!

MAYBE WE HAVE AN ANCESTOR IN COMMON.

HA! I FIND THAT THOUGHT MOST DISTASTEFUL.

LOWER HER INTO THE PIT!

YOU HAVE A VERY SHORT TIME TO TELL ME THE TRUTH!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

WAY TO GO, WHOEVER YOU ARE.

UNCHAIN ME SO I CAN HELP YOU.

NICE SHOT.

THANKS FOR THE RESCUE.

RAISE YOUR HANDS.

I TOLD YOU THERE WAS SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THIS PLACE.

YOU DID?

FLINT!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

JOE TEAM, THIS IS FLINT.

Breaker: FLINT, THIS IS BREAKER.

WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

Home in on my signal.

Lady Jaye and I are in deep trouble.

DEPLOY STRIKE TEAM IMMEDIATELY.

GET THEM!

IF THESE HEAT-SEEKING ROCKETS DON'T GET THEM FIRST.

FLINT, LOOK!

JUMP!

GET THEM!

[ LASER FIRE ]

AAH!

LET'S MOVE IT!

I SENSE GREAT EVIL HERE.

DESTROY THEM!

I THINK WE LOST THEM.

DON'T BET ON IT.

DARK POWER...

IN THERE.

...RISE!

THE DARK POWER MUST CLAIM ITS VICTIM!

FLINT!

[ GROWLING ]

[ KNOCKING ]

I THINK WE'RE BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE.

TRUBBLE BUBBLES.

COBRA, ATTACK!

AAAH!

[ SHRIEKS ]

LET US ENTER THIS EVIL HOUSE.

WHICH DO YOU WANT -- THE SPIDER OR THE DOOR?

I HATE SPIDERS.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT.

SOMETIMES IT'S BEST TO KNOW WHEN TO RETREAT.

All: CAPTURE THE SACRIFICE! CAPTURE THE SACRIFICE!

[ ALL GASP ]

[ GROWLING ]

AAAAH!

COWARDS!

I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THERE.

GRAB MY HAND! AAH!

I CAN'T MOVE. WHAT'S HE DOING?

-YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. -[ GROWLS ]

DIE, FIREMAN!

UH-OH.

SHALL WE GO?

RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

STORM THE MANOR HOUSE!

THIS HOUSE IS FILLED WITH A DEEP EVIL.

IT JUST GOT DEEPER.

WE'VE GOT TO TELL OUR GUYS THAT WE'RE SAFE.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

A LITTLE OLD HOLOGRAPHIC-GHOST MAKER.

COBRA, CLOSE IN FOR THE KILL!

WHAT'S THAT?

[ MOANING ]

JOES, RETREAT TO THE VILLAGE!

FOR NEARLY 1,000 YEARS,

MY FAMILY HOME HAS STOOD AND NOW IS NO MORE.

YOU TRULY DO BRING ILL FORTUNE TO MEN.

ILL FORTUNE?

[ CHUCKLES ]

IT'S REVENGE, YOU FACELESS BEAST.

-WHAT?! -I ARRANGED IT ALL.

I LED THE JOE AGENT HERE KNOWING THIS WOULD BE THE RESULT.

BARONESS!

BUT -- BUT WHY?

WHY? TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR YOUR UNFAITHFULNESS

WITH THAT WHICH YOU VALUE MOST --

YOUR ANCESTRAL HOME.

YOUR BRILLIANCE

IS MATCHED ONLY BY YOUR TASTE FOR VENGEANCE, BARONESS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND TO THINK I ACTUALLY BELIEVED I WAS RELATED TO A G.I. JOE.

I CHECKED THE RECORDS, DESTRO, DARLING.

YOU ARE!

AND THIS IS BUT A TASTE OF WHAT YOU SHALL SUFFER

IF YOU DESCRIBE ME AGAIN

AS "A CONFUSED WOMAN

WITH WHOM I HAVE BEEN ERRONEOUSLY LINKED."

AH! I HOPE YOU NEVER LEARN

WHAT HORROR YOUR ACTIONS MAY HAVE CAUSED.

[ LIQUID BUBBLING ]