Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

Bludd: CAREFUL WITH THOSE CRATES, YOU MORONS.

THIS HAUL'S GOT TO FINANCE US FOR THE NEXT FISCAL YEAR.

THERE THEY ARE, RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

REMIND ME TO THANK INTELLIGENCE.

OKAY, LET'S SHAKE 'EM UP BEFORE WE GRAB 'EM.

LOOK OUT!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

YO-O-O, JOE!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

[ ENGINE REVS ]

CHEERIO, MATEYS.

AT LEAST I SHALL LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.

ERRAND BOY.

THAT OUGHT TO DO IT, COVER GIRL.

SEE YOU BACK AT THE BASE.

YEAH, WE'VE GOT IT COVERED DOWN HERE.

THANKS FOR THE BACKUP, ACE.

Ace: 10-4. OVER AND OUT.

NOW WE CAN SEE WHAT COBRA COMMANDER IS HIDING IN HERE.

PHEW! WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS.

WE EXPECTED A HAUL, BUT --

Dusty: MAN, THIS IS TOO MUCH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M BROKE?

THE JOE TEAM'S HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL RAID...

HAS WIPED OUT YOUR ASSETS.

CONSEQUENTLY, YOUR CREDITORS ARE DEMANDING PAYMENT...

ON ALL OUTSTANDING DEBTS.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS.

I CONTROL THE LARGEST CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD.

THAT WAS TRUE UNTIL TODAY...

WHEN ALL OF YOUR MEN APPLIED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS.

THIS IS DEGRADING.

YOU HAVE 48 HOURS, COMMANDER...

TO COME UP WITH $200 MILLION.

[ HISSES ]

Man: IT'S SECOND AND 10 ON THE 32 YARD LINE.

HAWKINS ROLLS BACK.

GATTIN'S WIDE OPEN.

AND...

IT'S INTERCEPTED.

WHAT HAPPENED?

GREETINGS, MY FELLOW INSURGENTS.

IT IS MY PLEASURE TO INFORM YOU

THAT LAST NIGHT'S CHARADE LEAVES ME UNDAUNTED.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF COBRA!

UNLESS I'M MISTAKEN, WE'VE GOT A GOOD CHANCE

OF SHUTTIN' COBRA DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL.

THE FORTRESS SHOULD BE RIGHT ABOUT HERE.

BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING!

HUH. DUST.

THIS PLACE IS DESERTED, DUKE.

A GHOST TOWN.

THE MAIN GENERATOR IS TURNED OFF, DUKE.

AND NOT A SOUL IN SIGHT.

HEY, DUKE, I'M PICKIN' UP SOME ACTIVITY

IN A ROOM TO THE EAST.

LET'S INVESTIGATE.

AND NOW WE WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU THE COMMUNICATIONS ROOM.

Duke: XAMOT. TOMAX.

WELL, WELL.

IF IT ISN'T...

-G.I. JOE. -G.I. JOE.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISES

WAS IN THE REAL-ESTATE BUSINESS.

WE'RE NOT. WE'VE...

FORECLOSED ON COBRA AND...

...ARE CONDUCTING AN AUCTION IN AN EFFORT TO...

Both: RECOUP OUR INVESTMENT.

WHAT ABOUT COBRA COMMANDER?

HE SEEMS TO HAVE...

SKIPPED TOWN.

WE WOULD LIKE TO FIND HIM...

AS MUCH AS YOU.

Spirit: DUKE, LOOK.

HA. THE COMMANDER'S TROOPS.

LOOKS LIKE COBRA'S EMPIRE IS TUMBLING DOWN.

Cobra Commander: WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?

LOOKS LIKE THE MARTIANS HAVE INVADED.

THIS IS NOTHING BUT A SLUM!

I TOLD YA. I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.

I'M BEGINNING TO QUESTION YOUR TASTE

IN BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.

Firefly: TRUST ME, COMMANDER.

Man: OKAY, COME IN.

GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU ARE PUNCTUATION.

THAT'S "PUNCTUAL." NOW, LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

YES, SIR.

TIME IS A PRECIOUS COMMUNITY,

AND I DESPISE PEOPLE WHO ABSTRUSE IT.

SO, HOW CAN I BE OF ABSTINENCE TO YOUSE?

THAT'S "ASSISTANCE."

I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL.

WE DO. I WAS TRYIN' TO BE SOCIALIZABLE.

SHOW 'EM THE ATTACHMENT CASE.

[ MAN GRUNTS ]

ONE MILLION, IN SOFT CORENSIBLES.

DO YOU STAND UNDER THE TERMS?

OF COURSE.

$1 MILLION AT 400% PER WEEK.

MOST GENEROUS.

NOW, WE MUST BE GOING.

WAIT, THERE'S ONE MORE PART TO THE DEAL.

AND WHAT, PRAY TELL, IS THAT?

I WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE

WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE UNDER THAT MASK, COMMANDER.

OH?

AAH! HELP! I CAN'T LET GO!

[ BEEP ]

COMMANDER, WE HAVE 30 SECONDS.

YES, WE MUST BE GOING.

AAH!

APPREHENSIVE THEM!

GOODBYE, YOU FOOLS.

STOP THEM! THE DEAL'S OFF!

GIVE ME BACK THAT MONEY!

[ THUMPING ]

FRANKIE?

GUIDO?

OW!

GET UP, YOU GOONS.

AFTER THEM.

YOU HAVE THE MONEY, COMMANDER?

YES, BUT WHERE'S MAJOR BLUDD?

PREPARING A NEW RéSUMé.

[ LAUGHS ]

HE'D MAKE A GOOD SHIPPING CLERK.

THIS LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE ROUTE TO ZARTAN'S LAIR.

MY, MY, DESTRO.

YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS EXCEEDED ONLY BY YOUR GOOD LOOKS.

[ SNARLS ]

Buzzer: HEY, MATES.

OH, LOOK AT WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN.

GREETINGS, ZARTAN.

YOU'RE LATE, COMMANDER.

MY CHARITY HAS LIMITS.

SPARE ME THE LECTURE, ZARTAN.

WE'VE GOT MUCH TO DO IN LITTLE TIME.

HMM.

WHAT A DUMP.

APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEIVING, BARONESS.

[ DEVICE BEEPS ]

IT SUITED YOU BETTER THE OTHER WAY, ZARTAN.

BARONESS, EXPLAIN OPERATION COLD SLITHER TO OUR FRIENDS.

DESTRO HAS DESIGNED A PROGRAM

THAT CREATES ROCK-'N'-ROLL MUSIC

AND INSERTS SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES

WHICH WILL LULL PEOPLE INTO A TRANCE

AND MAKE THEM TOTALLY SUBJECT TO OUR WILL.

AND HOW DO I BENEFIT FROM THIS?

HERE'S HOW...

AHH.

...IF YOU DO AS I COMMAND.

HOW MUCH YOU SAY WE'RE GETTIN' PAID FOR THIS?

$5 AN HOUR.

5 WHOLE DOLLARS?

AND ALL WE'S GOT TO DO IS MOUTH THE LYRICS?

IT IS TAKING LONGER TO DRESS THESE MORONS

THAN IT TOOK TO RECORD THE SONG.

WHEN DO WE PUT THE SUBLIMINAL COMMANDS IN, DESTRO?

AFTER THE VIDEO IS RECORDED.

THEN MY SUBLIMINAL COMMANDS WILL BE ADDED

TO BOTH THE VIDEO AND THE RECORD ALBUM.

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ WE'RE COLD SLITHER

♪ YOU'LL BE JOINING US SOON

♪ A BAND OF VIPERS PLAYIN' OUR TUNE ♪

NO, NO, NO! CUT, CUT, CUT!

IT'S ALL WRONG.

THIS IS ART, NOT EXPLOITATION.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT AGAIN FROM THE TOP.

BACK TO ONE.

AND FEEL YOUR MOTIVATION!

HOW LONG ARE WE GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS BANGER?

ONLY UNTIL WE'RE PAID.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WE ARE NOW INTO OVERTIME,

AND THE UNION RULES SPECIFICALLY STATE --

THE ONLY UNION THEY SHOULD BE CONCERNED WITH

IS THE ONE BETWEEN THEIR HEADS AND THEIR SHOULDERS.

UH, YES, SIR.

PLACES, EVERYONE.

OKAY, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

ACTION.

ACTION.

EVERYBODY, ACTION.

♪ WE'RE COLD SLITHER

♪ YOU'LL BE JOINING US SOON

♪ A BAND OF VIPERS PLAYIN' OUR TUNE ♪

♪ WITH AN IRON FIST AND A REPTILE HISS ♪

♪ WE SHALL RULE

WHAT IS THAT IDIOT DOING?

♪ WE'VE HEARD IT BEFORE

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA PLAY THE GAME NO MORE ♪

♪ DON'T TELL US WHAT'S RIGHT ♪

THEY ARE ANIMALS.

♪ TOO LATE TO RESIST 'CAUSE COBRA IS STRONG ♪

OH, MY GOODNESS! WE'RE GOING WAY OVER BUDGET!

-BARBARIANS! -♪ WE'RE COLD SLITHER

♪ HEAVY METAL MACHINE

NO, NO, NO!

CUT, CUT, CUT!

YOU FOOL, THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

KEEP THE FILM ROLLING!

♪ WE'RE TIRED OF WORDS

♪ WE'VE HEARD IT BEFORE

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WE'RE IN THE TOP 20 WITH A BULLET IN JUST THREE DAYS.

YES, WE'RE SO EXCITED THAT...

WE HAVE DECIDED TO CANCEL YOUR DEBT...

IN EXCHANGE FOR A SHARE OF THE PROFITS.

Both: WE ARE YOUR NEW PARTNERS.

♪ WE'RE TIRED OF WORDS

♪ WE'VE HEARD IT BEFORE

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA PLAY THE...

HOW CAN I GRADE THESE PAPERS WITH THAT AWFUL MUSIC GOING ON?

[ BELL RINGS ]

IT'S TIME FOR CLASS.

WHERE ARE THOSE KIDS?

GONE?

I GUESS IT'S NOT THE MOST ELEGANT COURSE IN THE WORLD.

Quick Kick: BUT YOU MUST ADMIT THE OBSTACLES ARE UNIQUE,

ESPECIALLY THE MINEFIELD.

FORE.

-[ BONK! ] -WHOA!

HEY!

[ SPITTING ]

IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?

SORRY.

♪ WE'RE TIRED OF WORDS

♪ WE'VE HEARD IT BEFORE

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA PLAY THE GAME NO MORE ♪

♪ DON'T TELL US WHAT'S RIGHT ♪

I CAN'T REMEMBER EVER BEIN' THIS BORED.

YOU NEED A HOBBY, SHIPWRECK.

AH, EVER SINCE COBRA DISBANDED,

WE HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING TO DO

EXCEPT KEEP THE DUST OFF THE TANKS.

♪ WHEN THE VENOM STINGS, A NEW ORDER BRINGS OUR CONTROL ♪

Deejay: AND THAT WAS COLD SLITHER,

WHICH JUST SLITHERED ITS WAY

UP TO NUMBER ONE ON THE CHARTS.

AND, HEY, DON'T MISS THEIR CONCERT TONIGHT

AT THE SPORTS ARENA.

Breaker: COLD SLITHER.

TONIGHT.

WE'D BETTER GET GOIN'.

-MAN. -MAN. -MAN.

HEY, BREAKER, WHO'S MINDIN' THE STORE?

HEY, GUYS, WHERE YOU GOIN'?

HALT!

LET US OUT.

OR DIE.

-COLD SLITHER! -COLD SLITHER! -COLD SLITHER!

LOOK OUT!

AND THEY JUST KEPT SAYING,

"COLD SLITHER! COLD SLITHER! COLD SLITHER!"

SOUNDS LIKE COBRA STUFF TO ME.

[ Laughing ] NO, DUKE, COLD SLITHER IS A ROCK BAND.

OH, I SEE.

I GUESS I HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING UP ON THINGS,

BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEY'VE GONE AWOL.

SEND THE M.P.s TO GET 'EM AND PREPARE FOR A COURT-MARTIAL.

DUKE, ISN'T THAT A LITTLE EXTREME?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

EVEN IF COBRA'S WASHED UP,

I'M NOT LETTIN' DISCIPLINE SLIP AROUND HERE.

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ WE'RE COLD SLITHER

♪ YOU'LL BE JOINING US SOON

♪ A BAND OF VIPERS PLAYIN' OUR TUNE ♪

WOW, MAN! FAR OUT!

[ Laughing ] TOTALLY AWESOME!

COSMIC VIBES!

WOW!

OKAY, YOU GUYS ARE ALL UNDER ARREST.

WAIT A SECOND. W-WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

SAVE IT FOR THE COURT-MARTIAL.

[ GROANS ]

HEY, WHY DON'T WE STAY AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC?

IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME.

YEAH, LET'S GET MELLOW.

WOW.

♪ A NEW ORDER BRINGS OUR CONTRO-O-O-L ♪

♪ WE'RE TIRED OF WORDS

NOW THAT OUR AUDIENCE IS CAPTIVATED,

LET US BEND THEIR WILL TO OURS.

DISENGAGE THE SUBLIMINAL ENSLAVEMENT PROGRAM

AND PUT IT ON MANUAL, COMMANDER.

YES.

YOU ARE ALL UNDER THE SPELL OF COBRA.

YOU WILL DO WHATEVER WE SAY.

All: YES, MASTER.

DROP TO YOUR KNEES.

All: YES, MASTER.

SHOUT, "LONG LIVE COBRA."

All: LONG LIVE COBRA!

SCRAPE THE FLOOR!

All: YES, MASTER.

NOW SAY, "ALL HAIL DESTRO AND THE BARONESS!"

STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS!

WE HAVE THEM WHERE WE WANT THEM.

THE M.P.s SHOULD BE BACK BY NOW.

WHERE ARE THEY?

RELAX, DUKE.

THEY'VE GOT A BIG CROWD TO LOOK THROUGH.

GREETINGS, CITIZENS.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE TONIGHT?

I DO!

All: LONG LIVE COBRA!

COLD SLITHER FOREVER!

COLD SLITHER FOREVER!

THEY ARE WITH ME, AND THEY WILL STAY WITH ME

UNTIL YOU PAY ME THE SUM OF $100 BILLION!

AND DO NOT CONSIDER SENDING IN THE G.I. JOE TEAM,

FOR I HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

YOU HAVE TWO HOURS.

COBRA LULLED US INTO COMPLACENCY,

AND NOW THEY'RE BEATING US.

WELL, WE'RE NOT ABOUT TO GIVE UP.

BUT THEY'VE GOT THOUSANDS OF HOSTAGES IN THERE.

WAIT A SECOND. I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA PLAY THE GAME NO MORE ♪

♪ DON'T TELL US WHAT'S RIGHT

♪ DON'T TELL US WHAT'S WRONG

EH, BLOKES, THIS IS GETTIN' A BIT TOO MUCH LIKE WORK.

YEAH, MY SHIFT IS UP. I'M TAKIN' A BREAK.

RIGHT, WE'RE THE STARS.

YOU WANT MORE PLAY, WE GET MORE PAY.

♪ THROUGH THE EYES OF A LIZARD, IN YOU WILL DREAM ♪

♪ WHEN THE VENOM STINGS, A NEW ORDER BRINGS... ♪

HEY, WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?

THOSE VENAL MERCENARIES HAVE LEFT THE STAGE.

SO WHAT? WE DON'T NEED THEM ANYMORE.

I'M TELLIN' YOU,

WE'RE GETTIN' A RAW ONE FROM COBRA COMMANDER.

YEAH, WE DO THE WORK, AND HE GETS THE MONEY.

All: COLD SLITHER! COLD SLITHER!

HEY, YOU BLOKES, WE'VE GOT FANS!

IT'S THEM! AREN'T THEY COOL?

OH, BOY! OH, BOY!

[ CHEERING ]

YEAH, COME TO PAPA, BABY!

HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

OKAY, BOYS, YOU'VE GOT A CHOICE -- TALK OR FRY.

WHERE'S THE COMMAND CENTER?

DON'T SHOOT!

IT'S IN THE SOUND ROOM.

DUKE, THIS IS SCARLETT.

WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO COBRA'S COMMAND CENTER.

TAKE OUT THE TANKS.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THE BOZOS?

HA!

I'VE GOT A SPECIAL PERFUME FOR THEM.

[ SNORING ]

THE GIG'S OVER, COMMANDER!

YOUR SUBLIMINAL SOUND EFFECTS

DIDN'T SEEM TO WORK ON THEM, DESTRO.

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

WAIT TILL I REMOVE THESE EARPLUGS.

EARPLUGS!

SO, YOU KNEW ABOUT OUR SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES.

NO, WE KNEW YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC.

THE GAME'S NOT OVER YET.

[ BUZZING ]

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

NOW, EVERYBODY, REPEAT AFTER ME.

COBRA COMMANDER IS A CLOWN.

All: COBRA COMMANDER IS A CLOWN.

I WILL AVENGE THIS INSULT!

NOW HEAR THIS --

SHIPWRECK, FOOTLOOSE, AND BREAKER

WILL BE ON K.P. DUTY FOR A MONTH.

All: SHIPWRECK, FOOTLOOSE, AND BREAKER

WILL BE ON K.P. DUTY FOR A MONTH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE THIS, UH, SUBLIMINAL THING

BACK TO HEADQUARTERS.

MIGHT HELP KEEP SOME DISCIPLINE AROUND THERE.

OH, I DON'T THINK THERE'LL BE ANY PROBLEMS WITH COBRA

BACK IN BUSINESS ONCE I MAKE SOME MINOR REPAIRS.

HEY, MAN, WHAT ARE WE DOIN' HERE?

IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE AT SOME KIND OF CONCERT.

[ SQUAWKS ]

WE WANT MUSIC! WE WANT MUSIC!

All: WE WANT MUSIC!

WE WANT MUSIC! WE WANT MUSIC!

WE WANT MUSIC!

NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

GO HOME. WHAT ELSE?

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT REALLY FAIR.

THEY DID PAY TO SEE A CONCERT.

UM, ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE THINKING?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND NOW, FOR THE GREATEST ROCK 'N' ROLLERS IN THE LAND,

THE AVERAGE JOE BAND!

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ HE'LL NEVER GIVE UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE

♪ A REAL AMERICAN HERO

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE