Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

SEE ANYTHING, DUSTY?

NOT A SIGN OF 'EM, DUKE.

BUT THERE'S AN OASIS JUST AHEAD.

DO YOU SEE ANY CRUDDY COBRA AGENTS AROUND HERE, FELLA?

HE WOULDN'T KNOW A COBRA AGENT FROM APPLE BUTTER.

AFFENDI, WE SEEK TWIN BROTHERS

RIDING VEHICLES SIMILAR TO OURS.

THERE, TO THE SOUTH.

THEY RIDE THAT WAY.

OUR GRATITUDE, AFFENDI.

ME AND THE CAMEL JOCKEY GOT A LOT IN COMMON.

HE LOVES THE DESERT, SAME AS I DO.

DUKE, LOOK!

Duke: IT'S THEM, ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GO!

-G. I. JOE IN... -HOT PURSUIT.

-SHOOT! -SHOOT!

I WAS HOPIN' THEY'D TRY SOMETHIN'.

REMEMBER, AIM FOR THEIR TIRES.

DUKE, WE GOT COMPANY!

NOT COMPANY -- COMPETITION!

THE OKTOBER GUARD!

WHO ARE THEY?

THE RUSSIAN VERSION OF G.I. JOE --

AN ELITE COMBAT FORCE!

AH, RUSSKIES!

NEXT TO A TOOTHACHE,

THERE'S NOTHIN' I HATE MORE THAN A RUSSKI.

DUKE, WE GOT TO TURN BACK.

THAT DUNE AHEAD!

WHAT ABOUT IT?

IT'S NOT A DUNE!

IT'S A COBRA TRUCK!

Barbecue: YEAH, AND WE'RE OUTGUNNED, BADLY.

SO? LET'S TAKE 'EM.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COURAGE AND STUPIDITY.

RETREAT!

WE MIGHT BE IN A LITTLE TROUBLE HERE.

JUST 'CAUSE WE'RE OUTNUMBERED 20 TO 1?

MODERATION, GENTLEMEN.

WE MUSTN'T KILL THEM...

-ALL. -ALL.

NOW WHAT?

IT'S THE OKTOBER GUARD.

I KNEW IT!

THOSE SNEAKY RUSSIAN RATS,

TRYIN' TO GET US WHILE OUR BACKS ARE TURNED.

Dusty: NO! THEY'RE SHOOTING AT COBRA.

THEY'RE HELPIN' US?

Duke: THEY'RE HELPING THEMSELVES.

COBRA'S THEIR ENEMY, TOO.

WHAT IS THAT?

WHOEVER THEY ARE, I HOPE THEY'RE ON OUR SIDE.

AIN'T THAT SOMETHIN'?

Barbecue: THEY SURE ARE. BUT WHAT?

HOLD YOUR FIRE!

[ BOTH SHOUTING ]

HOLY!

HEAR ME WELL, MEN OF EARTH.

I SHALL SPEAK BUT ONCE.

WE HAVE TAKEN TWO SPECIMENS FOR EXAMINATION.

WHEN WE CONCLUDE OUR EXPERIMENTS,

YOUR PLANET WILL BE INFORMED OF ITS FATE.

HOLD IT! WHO ARE YOU?

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

OUR WORLD CIRCLES THE STAR SIRIUS.

I WOULDN'T CARE TO BE ONE OF THOSE TWINS.

Duke: IMAGINE TAKING XAMOT AND TOMAX AS EXAMPLES OF HUMANITY.

COLONEL SHARP'S GONNA HAVE OUR HEADS.

HE SENDS US OUT TO NAB XAMOT AND TOMAX,

AND WHAT ARE WE GOIN' BACK WITH?

A STORY EVEN I DON'T BELIEVE.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

THE TRIP DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A TOTAL LOSS.

I DO NOT THINK THE AMERICAN LIKES US.

GOOD.

I AM NOT LIKING HIM.

HE IS UGLY.

YOU SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID?

YEAH, YOU SAID IT!

GUNG-HO, AS YOU WERE!

GUNG-HO, ATTENTION!

YES, SIR.

GOOD.

YOU STAND LIKE THAT, IT'S EASY TO HIT YOUR UGLINESS!

YOU WILL HIT NO ONE, SERGEANT HORRORSHOW!

DA, COLONEL.

SO, YOU'RE COLONEL BREKHOV.

AT YOUR SERVICE. AND YOU ARE?

CALL ME "DUKE."

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A SITUATION HERE, COLONEL.

DA.

OUR ORDERS DO NOT COVER AN ENCOUNTER WITH YOU.

DITTO.

WELL, WE COULD WALK AWAY AND PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

DA, COMRADE. I AGREE.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET 'EM GO?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

DO SVIDANYA.

THERE'LL BE ANOTHER TIME, YOU DUMB RUSSIAN BEAR.

[ GAGS ]

UGLY! UGLY!

Sharp: WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS, THESE STRANGE CRAFT

HAVE ATTACKED A RUSSIAN OIL REFINERY,

AN AMERICAN AIRFIELD...

AN AMERICAN TANKER...

A RUSSIAN OBSERVATORY...

AND PART OF THE ALASKA PIPELINE.

THEY'RE ALREADY SQUABBLING LIKE CATS AND DOGS

AT THE UNITED NATIONS.

THE SOVIET PEOPLE WILL NOT TOLERATE

THESE UNPROVOKED ATTACKS BY THE AMERICAN IMPERIALISTS!

YOUR GOVERNMENT IS BEHIND THIS OUTRAGE, MR. AMBASSADOR,

AND THE UNITED STATES WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

NOR WILL THE PROUD SOVIET REPUBLIC

BOW TO IMPERIALIST THREATS!

THEY SOUND LIKE GUNG-HO AND THAT GUY HORRORSHOW.

SO WE'VE GOT A CRISIS ON OUR HANDS.

UNLESS THE MATTER IS RESOLVED...

WE GET THE IDEA, COLONEL SHARP.

ON ORDERS FROM THE PRESIDENT,

YOU'RE TO DROP EVERYTHING ELSE AND FIND THESE FLYING SAUCERS.

COLONEL, I HAVE A PLAN.

DO YOU THINK THE NAVY COULD LEND US A SUBMARINE?

HOW WE DOING, CUTTER?

ABOUT TO GO UNDER THE ICE CAP.

Gung-Ho: SO, WE'RE GONNA BUST INTO

THE OKTOBER GUARD'S HEADQUARTERS, HUH?

ONLY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, WE'RE GONNA TALK?

MAYBE THE RUSSIANS HAVE INFORMATION WE DON'T.

AND YOU THINK THEY'RE GONNA SHARE IT?

DUKE, CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME OCEAN-FRONT LAND IN MISSOURI?

BETTER GET READY, TROOPS.

WE'RE HERE.

[ GRUNTS ]

SO WE ARE. BUT WHERE'S HERE?

THE RIM OF AN ICE CRATER IN SIBERIA.

IT'S RINGED WITH RADAR AND ANTIAIRCRAFT DEFENSES.

THE OKTOBER GUARD IS INSIDE,

BELOW THE ICE WALL.

BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET IN --

KNOCK AND SAY WE'RE THE WELCOME WAGON?

EVER BEEN TO THE CIRCUS, GUNG-HO?

EVER SEEN A HUMAN CANNONBALL?

UNH-UNH. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

NOT ME, PAL.

YOU'RE NOT SHOOTIN' THIS LEATHERNECK OUT OF SOME CANNON!

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET PAST THEIR DEFENSES.

NOW LET'S GO!

[ ALARM BEEPS ]

SECURITY ALARM!

-COLONEL... -HALT!

THIS TIME THE SITUATION IS CLEAR.

YOU HAVE INVADED US,

AND THE PENALTY IS DEATH.

OUR MISSION HERE IS PEACEFUL, COLONEL BREKHOV.

SAY NOTHING!

YOU WILL WAIT IN THE STOCKADE UNTIL WE NOTIFY THE KREMLIN!

THEN WE SHOOT YOU.

Horrorshow: INSIDE, UGLY.

IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THAT GUN, YOU DUMB RUSSIAN BEAR...

YOU THINK I NEED GUN?

LIKE I SAID!

UGH! OW!

UGH!

AAH!

AMERICANSKI DEVIL.

RELEASE ME!

STOP! STOP!

THE FIGHT'S OVER, AS OF NOW!

COLONEL, I BELIEVE THIS IS YOURS.

[ GASPS ]

DUKE, YOU CRAZY?

I TOLD YOU, WE CAME ON A MISSION OF PEACE.

I MEANT IT.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD TALK.

SOVIET INTELLIGENCE KNOWS NOTHING MORE

ABOUT THESE SPACEMEN THAN YOU DO, SERGEANT.

BUT IF WE COMBINE FORCES,

WE MIGHT DISCOVER WHAT THEY WANT.

AND HOW TO BEAT THEM.

YEAH, IT'LL BE REAL COZY.

JUST DON'T STICK ME WITH THAT DUMB RUSSIAN BEAR.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE TEAMING WITH, GUNG-HO.

WHAT?

I'M NOT LETTIN' EITHER ONE OF YOU YAHOOS OUT OF MY SIGHT.

THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE.

YOU'RE ON MY SQUAD. SO IS HORRORSHOW.

THAT'S FINAL.

AND THEY'LL MAKE UP THE REST OF OUR TEAM.

PUT HER THERE, PARTNER. NAME IS WONG.

YOU ARE SNAKE EYES, RIGHT?

DUSTY, STORMAVIK, BARBECUE, AND DAINA WILL BE MY SQUAD.

MY GROUP WILL SCOUT FOR THE SAUCERS OVER EASTERN EUROPE.

AND MINE OVER NORTH AMERICA.

MOVE OUT!

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

Gung-Ho: AW, CAN'T YOU TURN THAT THING OFF?

I'M TRYIN' TO GET SOME SACK TIME!

IT IS MY DUTY TO MONITOR THE WORLD'S BROADCASTS.

AND ALWAYS HORRORSHOW DOES HIS DUTY.

I'LL PUSH YOUR DUTY UP YOUR NOSE.

UH, QUIET, UGLY. SOMETHING STRANGE.

LISTEN WELL, PEOPLE OF EARTH,

FOR I SHALL NOT REPEAT MYSELF.

I AM BROADCASTING FROM THE MOON.

IN EXACTLY 24 HOURS, I SHALL DESTROY TWO OF YOUR CITIES --

SAN FRANCISCO IN THE UNITED STATES

AND VLADIVOSTOK IN RUSSIA.

THIS WILL BE YOUR ONLY WARNING.

SURRENDER UNCONDITIONALLY TO ME,

OR I SHALL DESTROY ALL YOUR CITIES.

[ WHISTLES ]

NEXT TO THAT CLOWN, EVEN COBRA LOOKS TAME.

-[ ELECTRONIC BEEPING ] -Sharp: CALLING JOE UNIT ALPHA.

WE READ YOU, COLONEL SHARP.

THE PRESIDENT IS TAKING THE ALIENS' THREAT SERIOUSLY, DUKE.

THE AIR FORCE IS SCRAMBLING ALL AVAILABLE AIRCRAFT.

THE ARMY IS MOBILIZING,

AND THE NAVY IS RECALLING SHIPS FROM ALL OVER THE GLOBE.

ALL HEADING FOR SAN FRANCISCO, COLONEL?

YOU GOT IT, DUKE.

WE HEAR THAT THE RUSSIANS ARE BUSY, TOO,

MASSING THEIR FORCES AT VLADIVOSTOK.

ANY ORDERS FOR US?

NOT YET.

JUST STAND BY AND BE READY TO JUMP -- IN ANY DIRECTION.

JUMP?!

OFF OF THIS HERE BUILDING?

AIN'T WE DONE ENOUGH FALLING FOR ONE DAY?

WELL, I RECKON WE HAVE, AND...

AAAAAAAAH!

HOLY JUMPIN' JEHOSHAPHAT!

WHAT IS THAT?

Cobra: WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S FLYIN' A G.I. JOE GLIDER.

BRING IT DOWN!

TARNATION!

YEE-HAH!

THERE HE IS!

H-HOW'S ABOUT GIVIN' A MAN A HAND UP, HUH?

WE'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHIN', ALL RIGHT.

AH, THANKS A HEAP, PARD.

WHOA, NELLY!

THUNDERATION!

Xamot: DROP YOUR WEAPONS...

Tomax: OUTSIDE THE CAGE.

RECKON WE AIN'T GOT MUCH CHOICE.

LOOKEE WHO'S COMIN'.

LAST TIME I SEE YOU POLECATS,

YOU WERE GETTING PULLED INTO FLYING SAUCER!

-WE CUT A DEAL... -WITH THE ALIEN.

Both: LOWER THE CAGE.

STEP OUT.

WHAT YOU ALL GOT IN MIND FOR US?

-A CLOSE... -ENCOUNTER.

Both: PAINFULLY CLOSE.

PUT THEM...

ON THE TABLES.

Both: RETURN TO YOUR POSTS.

WELCOME.

I SEE YOU'VE BROUGHT ME FRESH SPECIMENS?

YES, I SHALL LEARN MUCH FROM EXAMINING THESE TWO.

Alien: YOUR FRIENDS, THE JOE TEAM AND THE OKTOBER GUARD --

WHERE ARE THEY?

WHAT DO YOU CARE, YOU BUG-EYED OWL-HOOT?

I WOULD NOT WISH THEM TO INTERFERE, AFFENDI...

WITH COBRA'S BATTLE PLAN.

I'LL BE DANG-BUSTED.

ZARTAN!

YEAH, AND THIS AIN'T NO FLYING SAUCER, NEITHER, SPORT!

IT'S A COBRA AIRSHIP, THAT'S WHAT!

RIGHT, MADE UP TO LOOK LIKE A BLOODY SAUCER.

I DON'T SAVVY.

WHY ALL THIS HERE PLAYACTING?

TELL 'EM, ZARTAN.

YEAH, IT AIN'T LIKE THEY'LL LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO PASS IT ON.

RETURN TO YOUR POSTS!

Cobra Commander: SAUCER TWO CALLING SAUCER ONE!

COME IN, SAUCER ONE.

ANSWER ME.

SAUCER ONE HERE, COBRA COMMANDER.

ZARTAN, WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THE CAPTIVES?

ENOUGH.

THEY WERE CERTAINLY STARTLED TO LEARN MY TRUE IDENTITY,

SO WE MAY CONCLUDE THAT NEITHER G.I. JOE NOR THE OKTOBER GUARD

SUSPECTS THE TRUTH.

EXCELLENT.

THEN BOTH OF THE SO-CALLED SUPERPOWERS

HAVE FALLEN FOR OUR TRICK.

THE RUSSIANS HAVE CONCENTRATED THEIR MILITARY FORCES

IN VLADIVOSTOK,

AND THE AMERICAN FORCES ARE MASSED IN SAN FRANCISCO...

LEAVING THE KREMLIN AND THE WHITE HOUSE

COMPLETELY UNDEFENDED.

LOVELY.

YES.

AND OUR TROOPS ARE QUIETLY SURROUNDING BOTH PLACES,

DISGUISED AS TOURISTS AND ORDINARY MOTORISTS.

AT 1800 HOURS, I SHALL ORDER THEM TO ATTACK,

AND BY 1900 HOURS,

COBRA WILL OWN THE WHITE HOUSE AND THE KREMLIN.

AND THE MILITARY SECRETS OF BOTH NATIONS

WILL BE OURS FOR THE TAKING.

EXACTLY.

PROCEED ACCORDING TO PLAN, ZARTAN.

SAUCER TWO OUT.

SO, NOW YOU KNOW...

WHICH MEANS, OF COURSE, YOU MUST PERISH.

ANY LAST WORDS?

NO!

[ GROANING ]

WE GOT TO WARN YOUR PEOPLE AND MY PEOPLE.

YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO FLY THIS DINGUS

WHILE I GET ON THE TV.

Horrorshow: SERGEANT DUKE, COME QUICK.

MESSAGE FROM COMRADE WONG!

SAVVY?

IT'S COBRA FAKEROO!

FORGET FRISCO AND VLADIVOSTOK!

HIGHTAIL IT FOR WASHINGTON, D.C., AND MOSCOW, PRONTO!

SAY WE DO AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE A RUSSIAN FAKEROO?

IT'S NOT, AND THERE'S YOUR PROOF.

GET WORD TO THE PILOT. TOP SPEED TO WASHINGTON.

MOVE!

RADIO BREKHOV. TELL HIM TO HEAD FOR MOSCOW.

AND CALL JOE HEADQUARTERS FOR REINFORCEMENTS.

1800 HOURS.

ATTACK!

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

NU, POGODI!

G.I. JOE! THE OKTOBER GUARD!

THE THREE OF US GOT TO KEEP 'EM BUSY

TILL THE REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVE!

WE'LL MANAGE!

AAH!

Brekhov: DRIVE THE SNAKES FROM OUR MOTHERLAND!

NU, POGODI!

WHERE ARE THOSE BLASTED REINFORCEMENTS?

YA-A-A-RGH!

HE WILL BE ROASTED ALIVE.

[ GRUNTING ]

YOU ARE HURT BAD?

NAW, JUST BRUISED.

THEN WHY WE WAIT? COBRAS TO BE DEFEATING!

SkyStrikers! HOT DOG!

RUN FOR IT!

NO! NO!

SAUCER ONE!

ZARTAN, ANSWER ME!

WHAT?!

THROW DOWN YOUR IRONS AND COME OUT GRABBING THE SKY.

NO.

I MAY NOT OCCUPY THE WHITE HOUSE,

BUT I CAN STILL DESTROY IT!

[ SCREAMING ]

THEY TURN! THEY RUN!

WE WIN!

WE WIN!

NU, POGODI, GORGEOUS!

OH, DA.

AND TO YOU.

YO, JOSEPH!

DUKE, UP THERE.

AM I SEEIN' THINGS?

[ SCREAMS ] YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS!

THEY'RE DOGFIGHTIN'.

[ SCREAMS ]

[ CHEERING ]

Gung-Ho: THERE'S STILL ONE THING I DON'T GET.

HOW THE HECK DID SNAKE EYES GET WISE TO COBRA'S SCHEME?

I AM BROADCASTING FROM THE MOON.

IN EXACTLY 24 HOURS, I SHALL DESTROY TWO OF YOUR CITIES.

WELL, SON OF A GUN!

A MILK CARTON AND A HUMAN HAND --

TWO THINGS YOU DON'T FIND MANY OF ON THE MOON, HUH?

HEY, GUNG-HO,

HOW COME SNAKE EYES GETTING ALL THE BRAINS

AND YOU GETTING ALL THE UGLY?

[ GROWLS ]

THAT'S ENOUGH! [ LAUGHS ]

IT'S TIME WE HEADED HOME.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

I STILL SAY YOU'RE A DUMB RUSSIAN BEAR!

[ LAUGHS ]

UGLY! [ LAUGHS ]

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

-NU, POGODI! -NU, POGODI! -NU, POGODI! -NU, POGODI!