Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

Cobra Commander: ACTIVATE ALL COBRA FORCES!

ATTACK G.I. JOE!

ATTACK! ATTACK!

ATTACK! ATTACK!

[ SNORING ]

HOLYOKE, MASSACHUSETTS!

BREAKER TO ALL UNITS -- CODE RED!

[ ALARM BLARES ]

HOW COULD THEY HAVE BUILT THAT THING

WITHOUT OUR SATELLITES PICKING IT UP?

Flint: GOOD QUESTION.

ASK IT AGAIN AFTER WE NAIL 'EM.

BREAKER, SCRAMBLE ALL AVAILABLE JOES ON THE DOUBLE.

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

[ CHITTERING ]

Flint: FLINT TO JOE TEAM.

DON'T WAIT FOR THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

LET 'EM KNOW WE'RE HERE.

WELL, IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MUCH OF A WAIT ANYWAY.

ACE, CARE TO ACCOMPANY ME INTO HOSTILE TERRITORY?

BLOW IN MY HEADPHONES,

AND I'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE, LADY JAYE.

OPEN FIRE!

FLIGHT PODS -- DEAD AHEAD!

TAKE EVASIVE ACTION!

ONE DOWN. 50 TO GO.

Ace: LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, LADY JAYE.

Flint: WE'VE GOT THEM ON THE RUN!

LET'S KNOCK ON THEIR FRONT DOOR!

YO-O-O...

JOE?

Computer: SIMULATION TERMINATED.

DEFENSE SYSTEM DISENGAGED.

ACCESS PERMITTED.

SIMULATION?

WHERE'D THEY GO?

WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT.

FOLLOW ME, GUYS!

WE'RE GOING IN THROUGH THE ATTIC!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

[ Echoing ] HELLO?

Shh! They could be anywhere. Come on.

NOBODY HERE. HOW COME?

NO TROOPS ON THE UPPER LEVELS, EITHER, FLINT.

RADIO COLONEL SHARP.

I WANT THE PENTAGON IN ON THIS -- NOW.

[ BEEPS ]

Sharp: WE'RE ALREADY IN ON IT, FLINT.

THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT BUILT THIS UNIT.

IT'S CODE-NAMED "WATCHDOG,"

AND IT'S THE WORLD'S MOST ADVANCED COMPUTER SYSTEM.

YOU WERE ITS FIRST TEST UNDER FIRE.

THAT'S WHY OUR SATELLITES NEVER SPOTTED IT.

IT WASN'T ENCODED AS HOSTILE.

BUT THE COBRA TROOPS.

COMPUTER-GENERATED IMAGES, HOLOGRAMS.

HOLO-WHO?

BUT, SIR, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

WELL, UH, WATCHDOG

IS THE JOE TEAM'S NEW, UH, COMMANDER, FLINT.

ITS DESIGNER, DR. HAMLER, WILL EXPLAIN MORE FULLY.

GOOD MORNING.

DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE MONITOR, PLEASE.

WATCHDOG IS FAR MORE THAN A COMPUTER --

IT'S A COMMUNICATIONS AND RECONNAISSANCE NETWORK

CONTINUALLY SCANNING EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE GLOBE

AND BEYOND.

EVERY MEMBER OF THE JOE TEAM

WILL BE ISSUED ONE OF THESE COMMUNICATORS.

WITH IT, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO RECEIVE ORDERS

DIRECTLY FROM WATCHDOG.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ORDERS

FROM A PILE OF SILICON CHIPS?

I, UH, TOLD YOU THE JOES WOULD RESIST THE IDEA, DOCTOR.

PERHAPS THEY NEED A DEMONSTRATION.

[ BEEPING ]

Watchdog: HAVE LOCATED YACHT CEREBUS IN INDIAN OCEAN.

COBRA COMMANDER AND DESTRO ABOARD.

ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A RUNDOWN ON OUR FORCES IN THAT AREA.

NOT MUCH POINT, FLINT.

WATCHDOG ALREADY ORDERED THE U.S.S. FLAGG TO ATTACK.

DRAGONFLY SQUADRON CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF.

SHARCS CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF.

ANYBODY SPOT OUR FISH YET?

VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED, SHIPWRECK.

HUSTLE THOSE SHARCS. WE'RE GONNA NEED 'EM.

[ LAUGHS ]

SHE'S SITTING LIKE A RUBBER DUCK IN A BATHTUB.

LET'S SCUTTLE HER!

SO, SHE'S A RUBBER DUCK ARMED TO THE BILL --

MY MISTAKE.

THOSE ARE THE BREAKS, SAILOR.

IT'S UP TO US FLYBOYS NOW.

GET BELOW!

LOOK OUT!

Ace: SHE'S GOING DOWN!

Ledger: WELL DONE, MEN. GET BACK ON THE DOUBLE.

WATCHDOG ALREADY HAS SOME NEW TARGETS FOR US.

FLINT: Admiral Ledger, this is Flint.

WE'VE BEEN MONITORING THE BATTLE.

ANY SIGN OF COBRA COMMANDER OR DESTRO?

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOARD THE CEREBUS.

SHIPWRECK, DID YOU HEAR FLINT'S QUESTION?

Shipwreck: LOUD AND CLEAR.

Flint!

SHIPWRECK, WHAT'S WRONG?

IT'S THE CEREBUS, FLINT --

SHE'S GONE!

I'M TELLING YOU, FLINT,

THIS IS THE SPOT WHERE THE CEREBUS WENT DOWN,

AND THERE'S NO SIGN OF HER --

NO SURVIVORS, NO CASUALTIES, NO NOTHING.

SHE'S GOT TO BE THERE, FLINT.

THE CURRENT COULDN'T DRAG HER OFF THIS FAST.

OKAY. HEAD BACK TO THE CARRIER, SHIPWRECK.

WE'LL, UH, FEED THE PROBLEM TO WATCHDOG.

Watchdog: THIS IS WATCHDOG. ANALYZING.

SOUNDS LIKE THE DOG FED HIMSELF.

ANALYSIS COMPLETE.

CEREBUS COVERED BY SEDIMENT AT OCEAN FLOOR.

CPO DELGOTO, RETURN TO U.S.S. FLAGG AT ONCE.

SEDIMENT, MY LEFT BARNACLE.

[ LAUGHS ]

BACK TO THE FLAGG, SHIPWRECK.

YOU HEARD THE COMPUTER.

YEAH, YEAH. I HEARD.

[ BEEPS ]

ATTENTION. SENSORS INDICATE DELGOTO HAS EVACUATED CRAFT.

ACTION IS UNAUTHORIZED.

RETURN TO...

Shipwreck, what happened?

WHY, BEATS ME, FLINT.

COMPUTER ERROR, MAYBE. I'LL CHECK.

OVER AND OUT.

OKAY, NOW, WHERE'D THAT TUB GO?

SHIPWRECK! SHIPWRECK!

NO USE, FLINT.

DANG FOOL SHUT OFF HIS RADIO.

ATTENTION.

COBRA UNIT LOCATED -- FLORIDA EVERGLADES.

PERSONNEL -- FLINT, GUNG-HO.

SEEK AND DESTROY.

[ SIGHS ] GUESS I'VE GOT MY ORDERS.

LET ME KNOW IF SHIPWRECK TURNS UP ANYTHING ON THE CEREBUS.

YES, SIR!

[ COBRA COMMANDER LAUGHS EVILLY ]

I KNOW! I KNOW!

EVEN THE FINANCING!

[ LAUGHS ]

Destro: YOU AGREE, THEN, COMMANDER,

IT BECOMES EASIER TO DEFEAT G.I. JOE

WHEN THE U.S. GOVERNMENT FOOTS PART OF THE BILL?

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

RESERVE SOME OF YOUR GLEE

FOR THE OPERATION'S FINAL PHASE, COMMANDER --

THE DESTRUCTION OF JOE HEADQUARTERS BY...

THE PIT VIPER.

YES!

WHEN CAN I SEE IT IN ACTION?

SOON, COMMANDER -- VERY SOON.

Scarlett: BREAKER, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

WATCHDOG'S GOT THE JOES MOVING ALL OVER THE WORLD

LOOKING FOR COBRA, ONLY THEY'RE NOT FINDING ANYTHING.

THIS IS WHAT WE'VE SLOGGED THROUGH 200 MILES OF SWAMP FOR?

ONE CRUSTY F.A.N.G. COPTER

ABANDONED SINCE THE EARLY PLEISTOCENE!

WATCHDOG GOOFED, HUH?

FLINT TO BREAKER.

PATCH ME THROUGH TO WATCHDOG RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

USE YOUR WATCHDOG BOX, FLINT.

YOU GOT A DIRECT LINK, REMEMBER?

YEAH, I REMEMBER.

WATCHDOG, WE FOUND YOUR COBRA UNIT.

IT'S A CONDO FOR GARTER SNAKES.

99% PROBABILITY COBRA TROOPS IN YOUR SECTOR.

RESUME SEARCH.

WATCHDOG OUT.

[ SIGHS ] UH-HUH. OUT TO LUNCH.

BREAKER -- FLINT.

HAS ANYONE ELSE HAD BETTER LUCK?

UH, THEY'RE STARTING TO REPORT IN NOW, FLINT.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

HEAVY METAL TO BREAKER.

COBRA HISS DEAD AHEAD.

WE'RE GOING IN.

GOT ANY KIDS, BREAKER?

WATCHDOG FOUND 'EM A DANDY SANDBOX.

Lady Jaye: LADY JAYE TO BREAKER. COBRA OUTPOST IN SIGHT.

LOOKS LIKE WATCHDOG GOT THIS ONE RIGHT.

TAKE IT!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

Lady Jaye: [ SIGHS ] OH, NO.

WATCHDOG NEEDS ITS CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT EXAMINED.

BACK TO YOUR VEHICLES.

I DON'T LIKE IT.

OUR FORCES ARE SPREAD TOO THIN,

AND WATCHDOG KEEPS BARKING UP ALL THE WRONG TREES.

ANY WORD FROM SHIPWRECK YET?

NO, BUT DON'T WORRY.

HE'S PROBABLY SUNNING HIMSELF ON A BEACH SOMEWHERE.

Shipwreck: WELL, BLOW ME DOWN.

THE CEREBUS.

WAIT TILL FLINT HEARS ABOUT TH--

COBRA EELS, HUH?

WELL, ENJOY YOUR TARGET PRACTICE, BOYS,

BUT DON'T COUNT ON WINNING ANY KEWPIE DOLLS!

AS I WAS SAYING, WAIT TILL FLINT --

OH, NO! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN EXPECTING ME!

AAH!

W-WHAT HAPPENED?

WHERE AM I?

Dr. Hamler: FORTUNATELY, SHIPWRECK,

WATCHDOG LOCATED YOU IN TIME.

OTHERWISE YOUR RASH DISREGARD FOR ORDERS

MIGHT HAVE COST YOU YOUR LIFE.

YOU'RE HAMLER, RIGHT?

YOU DESIGNED THE COMPUTER.

[ GROANS ]

I GUESS I OWE YOU ONE.

LISTEN, I GOT TO GET ON THE HORN TO HEADQUARTERS

AND WARN THEM ABOUT...

OH? YOU WERE UNABLE TO REACH JOE HEADQUARTERS?

WELL, IT WON'T BE NECESSARY NOW.

YOU MEAN WATCHDOG ALREADY WARNED THEM?

NOT EXACTLY.

WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

SEND IT ON ITS WAY!

YES.

LET THE MISSION COMMENCE!

WHAT THE BLUE-EYED BLAZES?!

COBRA?!

YOU...WORK FOR THE SNAKES?!

THAT I DO, G.I. JOEY,

AS LONG AS THEY KEEP PAYING ME.

ZARTAN!

THEN WATCHDOG...

TAKES ITS ORDERS FROM COBRA.

DESTRO DESIGNED IT,

AND "DR. HAMLER" SOLD IT TO THE PENTAGON.

THEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SENT US

ON ALL THESE WILD-GOOSE CHASES.

PRECISELY, LEAVING YOUR HEADQUARTERS VIRTUALLY DESERTED

AND VULNERABLE TO ATTACK.

YOU'RE BUGHOUSE, DESTRO.

NOTHING CAN GET PAST OUR AUTODEFENSE SYSTEMS.

UNLESS, OF COURSE, WATCHDOG WERE TO TURN THEM OFF.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BILGE RATS!

AAH! UGH!

Cobra Commander: BRING HIM TO THE COMMAND CENTER.

I WANT TO SEE HIM SQUIRM

AS WE WATCH THE DESTRUCTION OF G.I. JOE!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

WATCHDOG CAN ACCESS EVERY SURVEILLANCE UNIT

IN JOE HEADQUARTERS.

WE'LL BE ABLE TO WITNESS THE DESTRUCTION ALMOST FIRSTHAND

ON THESE MONITORS.

BREAKER, WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

THE WHOLE BLAMED CONSOLE WENT DEAD --

EVERYTHING BUT THE AUTOSURVEILLANCE SCANNERS.

[ RUMBLING ]

Scarlett: IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

THIS IS PRICELESS!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

A TRIUMPH!

A MASTERPIECE OF THE DESTRUCTIVE ARTS!

I'M SURPRISED YOU DON'T CALL THEM LONG-DISTANCE AND BRAG.

AN EXCELLENT IDEA.

YES, LET'S REACH OUT AND CRUSH SOMEONE!

DESTRO, ENABLE THEIR COMMUNICATIONS.

COMMANDER, NO!

NEVER REFUSE ME, DESTRO!

[ BEEP ]

OH, HELLO, SCARLETT.

I MUST HAVE GOTTEN THE WRONG NUMBER.

I THOUGHT I WAS CALLING A SCRAPYARD.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ GRUNTING ]

WATCHDOG BELONGS TO COBRA!

TAKE IT OUT!

-NO MORE! -DONE!

CODE RED -- ALL UNITS!

HEADQUARTERS UNDER ATTACK,

AND THAT BLASTED WATCHDOG'S A DOUBLE AGENT!

THE FOOL!

DID HE REALLY THINK HIS OUTBURST COULD DO ANY GOOD?

IT DID, COMMANDER.

IT GAVE THE JOES BACK THEIR COMMUNICATIONS.

AND IF THEY DO ATTACK WATCHDOG?

WE'VE FORTIFIED IT WITH REAL TROOPS AS A PRECAUTION.

BUT, AS DR. HAMLER PUT IT,

WATCHDOG CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.

THIS IS LIKE TRYING TO STOP A SHERMAN TANK

WITH A FLYSWATTER.

I FINALLY GOT THROUGH TO FLINT, LADY JAYE,

AND HEAVY METAL.

THEIR GROUPS ARE GONNA MEET AT THE MESA,

TRYING TO TAKE OUT WATCHDOG.

BUT -- BUT WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THAT THING?

I'M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS.

Flint: THOSE COBRA TROOPS SHOW UP ON RADAR.

THEY'RE NOT HOLOGRAMS. THIS IS FOR REAL.

DOUSE THEIR LIGHTS, ACE!

I HEAR YOU TALKING, FLINT!

WE'RE PUSHING THEM BACK, BUT IT'S COSTING US!

AT THIS RATE, WE'LL ALL BE ON FOOT

BY THE TIME WE REACH THE MESA.

COME ON, COBRA.

NOTHING IS THAT INVINCIBLE, RIGHT?

[ BEEP ]

WRONG. [ GASPS ]

SCARLETT!

HEY, FORGET IT, BREAKER.

IF TWO SIDEWINDER MISSILES CAN'T STOP IT...

I KNOW. I KNOW.

BUT I WAS THINKING -- MAYBE WE DON'T HAVE TO STOP IT.

MAYBE WE DON'T EVEN WANT TO.

COME AGAIN?

BREAKER, YOU ARE ONE CLEVER DEVIL.

THAT MESA MUST BE ONE HUGE AMMO DUMP.

IT'S BEEN SHOOTING FOR HOURS WITHOUT A BREAK.

FLINT!

WE'RE SOLDIERS, FLINT, NOT MACHINES LIKE WATCHDOG!

WE GOT TO PULL BACK AND CATCH OUR BREATH!

YEAH. GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

ORDER A-A RETREAT.

[ RUMBLING ]

NOW WHAT?

FLINT, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NEVER...BETTER.

NOW...LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, FAST!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

JUMP OR KISS TOMORROW GOODBYE!

HEY, GUESS WHO'S HERE!

[ LAUGHS ]

DON'T LOOK NOW, FOLKS, BUT WE WON.

NO! NO!

HOW COULD THEY -- THEY DO THIS TO ME?!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

WATCHDOG AND THE PIT VIPER --

BOTH DESTROYED!

ALONG WITH HALF OF JOE HEADQUARTERS, COMMANDER.

TRY TO SEE THE BRIGHT SIDE.

BRIGHT SIDE?!

TAKE THIS IN YOUR BRIGHT SIDE, DESTRO!

THAT WILL BE QUITE ENOUGH, COMMANDER!

RELEASE ME!

THIS IS MUTINY!

SO LONG, SNAKES. IT'S BEEN GIGGLES.

Sharp: I WAS AGAINST THE WATCHDOG IDEA FROM THE START, FLINT,

BUT DR. HAMLER SOLD THE BRASS ON IT COMPLETELY,

AND HIS REPUTATION WAS IMPECCABLE.

WELL, THEY SHOULD HAVE CHECKED HIS CREDENTIALS

MORE THOROUGHLY, COLONEL.

THE REAL DR. HAMLER, THE IMPECCABLE ONE,

DIED IN 1978.

AND IF THE BRASS EVER WANT TO BUY US

ANOTHER WATCHDOG, COLONEL,

MAKE IT A COCKER SPANIEL.

HA HA!