Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

RIGHT HERE. I'LL HAVE HER IN A JIFF.

THE BLUEPRINTS. THE BLUEPRINTS.

IF COBRA'S TO BUILD MORE OF THESE DEVICES,

WE MUST HAVE THE BLUEPRINTS.

ALL RIGHT, ALREADY. I GOT THE BLOODY BLUEPRINTS.

AND I GOT THE MATTER TRANSMUTER.

THEN WE'RE OFF. COME ON.

[ ALARM BLARES ]

THE MATTER TRANSMUTER IS GONE.

[ AIR HORN BLOWS ]

CAN'T YOU GET ANY SPEED OUT OF THIS THING?

WE'LL SPLIT UP AND RENDEZVOUS AT THE REDWOOD BASE.

AND YOU CAN ACCOUNT TO COBRA COMMANDER FOR THE DELAY.

Cobra Commander: WELL, DESTRO, GET ON WITH IT.

Destro: THIS STOLEN VIDEOTAPE, COMMANDER, WAS PREPARED

BY THE TRANSMUTER RAY'S INVENTORS

TO DEMONSTRATE ITS CAPABILITIES.

SO, THE RAY CAN CHANGE THE MOLECULAR STRUCTURE

OF ANYTHING IT TOUCHES?

PRECISELY.

NOW, IMAGINE A WEAPON BASED ON MATTER TRANSMUTATION.

IMAGINE VAULTS OR FORTRESSES

TURNED TO, LET US SAY, TISSUE PAPER.

I'VE GOT THE IDEA, DESTRO.

WHAT I HAVEN'T GOT IS THIS TRANSMUTER.

PATIENCE, COMMANDER, PLEASE.

IF I MAY REMIND YOUR EXCELLENCY,

IT WAS YOUR CHOICE TO ENTRUST

THE PROCUREMENT OF THE DEVICE TO ZARTAN.

OF COURSE I GAVE THE JOB TO ZARTAN.

HE'S MUCH MORE QUALIFIED THAN YOU IN THIS AREA.

OH, YES.

ONE MORE THING, DESTRO --

IF I WERE YOU, I'D WATCH THAT ATTITUDE.

Steeler: ZARTAN?

NOPE. AIN'T SEEN HIDE NOR HAIR OF HIM.

WE'RE JUST FREEZING OUR TOESIES OUT HERE FOR NOTHING.

I'M TELLING YOU, LADY JAYE,

BEING A G.I. JOE IS RUINING MY LIFE.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR NOTHING ELSE.

WHY DO YOU THINK I AIN'T GOT A GIRLFRIEND NO MORE?

SHE GOT SICK OF WORRYING ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME. THAT'S WHY.

OH, PUT A SOCK IN IT ALREADY, WILL YOU, STEELER?

YEAH, MOTION SECONDED.

WE'VE ALL HAD TO MAKE SACRIFICES TO --

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT I STILL SAY THIS ONE'S A WILD GOOSE CH--

[ BEEPING ] -HEY, BOGEYS COMING UP FAST.

I KNOW YOU WANT THESE PLANS, FLINT,

BUT TAKE THIS INSTEAD.

TERRIBLE SHOOTING, ZARTAN.

HEY!

WHAT'S THE MATTER, OLD FLINT?

UP A TREE, ARE YOU?

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

LAUGH THIS OFF, HAPPY BOY.

AAH!

THERE HE GOES.

WE'D BEST MOVE IT, MATES.

Clutch: DID YOU SEE THAT?

SWING INTO PLAN "A," STEELER.

CHECK, LADY JAYE.

HANG ONTO YOUR TEETH, BOYS.

AAH!

AAH!

ZARTAN DROPPED THE PLANS.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I -- HEY.

OHH. GOT THEM.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, ZARTAN.

I RECKON I GOT YOU OUTGUNNED.

NEVER.

HALF A SECOND SLOWER, I'D -- I'D HAVE BEEN VAPORS.

NO!

YES!

YOUR MASTER THIEF HAS LED G.I. JOE TO OUR VERY DOOR.

RETREAT IS OUR ONLY OPTION.

Flint: A ROCKET. A CAMOUFLAGED ROCKET.

WE CAN TELL OUR GRANDKIDS ABOUT THAT, FLINT...

IF WE LIVE TO HAVE ANY.

Footloose: I DON'T GET IT, AIRTIGHT.

HOW COME HEADQUARTERS THINKS

COBRA WILL TRY TO GET THESE TRANSMUTER BLUEPRINTS AGAIN?

WHO CARES?

WHAT'S EATING YOU?

AH, I'M QUITTING G.I. JOE.

HEY, LOOK. YOU HAD A CLOSE SHAVE.

YOU'RE JUST SPOOKED IS ALL. YOU'LL GET OVER IT.

UNH-UNH. I'VE HAD IT. NOTHING EVER CHANGES.

COBRA HITS US, WE HIT THEM, OVER AND OVER.

YEP -- SOMETIMES IT DOES SEEM

LIKE THERE'S NARY AN END IN SIGHT.

SO WHAT'S THE POINT?

IF THE BATTLE'S NEVER GONNA BE WON BY EITHER SIDE,

WHY BOTHER FIGHTING IT?

WHOA, NOW, FELLA, I NEVER SAID --

READY, YOU GUYS?

WE'RE NEARING THE RENDEZVOUS POINT

WITH FLINT AND LADY JAYE.

Flint: VERY CLEVER, DR. RENAULT.

Lady Jaye: FROM THE OUTSIDE, ORDINARY GRAIN CARS.

Dr. Renault: AND INSIDE, TITANIUM ARMOR PLATING

TO SAFEGUARD MY TRANSMUTER-RESEARCH TEAM

WHILE THEY CARRY ON THEIR WORK.

Wagstaff: THIS, UH, MOBILE LAB COMPLEX

SHOULD PROVIDE ADEQUATE PROTECTION AGAINST COBRA.

OUR MILITARY LIAISON, GENERAL WAGSTAFF.

-GENERAL. -GENERAL.

AND NOW, IF I MAY HAVE THE BLUEPRINTS...

WAIT. WE DON'T HAVE THEM.

THE REST OF OUR TEAM WILL TURN THEM OVER TO YOU

AT THE RENDEZVOUS POINT.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.

FREEZE!

THIS IS AS FAR AS YOU GO, JOES.

YOUR NEW DESTINATION WILL BE...OBLIVION!

[ COUGHING ]

LET US BE RID OF THEM.

COME ALONG, LADY JAYE.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DETRAIN.

[ COUGHING ]

LADY -- AAH!

HANG ON UP THERE! WE'RE A-COMING!

COBRA'S KIDNAPPED DR. RENAULT AND GENERAL WAGSTAFF.

GO BACK AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND THEM, CUTTER.

WELL, WELL. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

UGH! GIVE ME THOSE BLUEPRINTS!

Steeler: NO WAY!

[ CRACKING ]

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

[ BIRDS SCREECHING ]

OH, WHAT...HAPPENED?

[ ALL GROANING ]

THAT -- THAT TRANSMUTER GIZMO WENT OFF,

AND I-I GUESS WE WERE KNOCKED OUT.

HEY, WHAT -- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COBRAS?

AND WHERE'D THE TRAIN GO?

NEVER MIND THAT. WHERE'S THE FOREST OR THE RIVER?

Flint: AND YET IT RESEMBLES WHERE WE WERE, AT LEAST STRUCTURALLY.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

SEE THIS CHASM?

THAT'S WHERE THE RIVER CUT THROUGH THE FOREST BEFORE.

AND THAT LIMESTONE BRIDGE IS WHERE THE TRESTLE USED TO BE.

WE'RE IN THE SAME PLACE,

BUT IT'S BEEN ALTERED BY THE TRANSMUTER.

THEN HOW LONG WERE WE UNCONSCIOUS --

SECONDS, MINUTES, HOURS?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I'M GETTING THE FEELING

THERE'S SOMETHING EVEN WEIRDER ABOUT ALL THIS.

OW!

YUCK.

DON'T LOOK LIKE NOTHING ON EARTH I'VE EVER SEEN.

HEY, FELLAS, TAKE A LOOK AT --

[ ENGINES ROARING ]

SOUNDS LIKE THE BUZZARDS HAVE COMPANY.

WHATEVER THEY ARE, THEY'RE CIRCLING.

I CAN'T GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM, THOUGH.

THE SUN'S TOO BRIGHT.

TAKE COVER!

Airtight: COVER? LIKE WHERE, A GOPHER HOLE?

Grunt: THE -- THE SUN'S SO BRIGHT.

CLUTCH TO JOE HEADQUARTERS.

COME IN, HEADQUARTERS. COME IN.

[ STATIC ]

NOTHING. ALL I GET IS STATIC.

WORRY ABOUT IT LATER... AFTER WE SHAKE THAT CLAW.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HOME FREE. COME ON!

Barbecue: I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER LEAVE.

CHECK THIS OUT, GUYS.

LOOKS LIKE OUR MOTOR POOL AFTER A TORNADO.

WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE ALL THIS MEANS, FLINT?

WHO KNOWS?

RIGHT NOW, ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT A.W.E. STRIKER.

HOW'S IT LOOK, FOOTLOOSE?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, FLINT,

BUT WHOEVER LEFT HER HERE LEFT THE KEYS, TOO.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVVING ]

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

WHERE TO, SPORTS?

WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE

AND WHAT'S GOING ON.

Flint: YEAH, BUT IN THE MEANTIME,

WE SHOULD CALL AS LITTLE ATTENTION TO OURSELVES AS POSSIBLE.

YEAH, RIGHT. BE REALLY INCONSPICUOUS.

[ ENGINE BACKFIRES ] -THE ENGINE'S DEAD.

OH, SWELL. CAN ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG?

Flint: WAIT, LOOK.

WE'RE NOT COMPLETELY OUT OF LUCK.

HEY, FLINT, LOOK.

JUST WHAT WE NEED -- TRANSPORTATION.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE.

OKAY, POPS. WE'LL TAKE EIGHT OF THOSE BIKES.

SAY, OLD-TIMER, ABOUT THAT BARREN STRETCH OVER YONDER --

THAT'S A PROVING GROUND, YOUNG MAN.

OH, YEAH. GOVERNMENT TESTS ITS WEAPONS THERE.

WEAPONS? WHAT KIND OF WEAPONS?

OH, EVERYTHING FROM NEW STRAINS OF BACTERIA

TO THE WEATHER DOMINATOR, I RECKON.

THE WEATHER DOM--

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS THAT PINK WHATSIT THAT STUNG YOU.

YOU JUST STAND RIGHT THERE, SONNY.

LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD, AND HOLD STILL WHILST WE SCAN YOU.

HEY.

TRANSACTION APPROVED.

SUBJECT'S RETINAL SCAN MATCHES

NO KNOWN DISSIDENT, SUBVERSIVE, OR ENEMY OF STATE ON FILE.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

OH, HERB, THEY LOOK LIKE GOOD RISKS.

ANYWAY, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,

THERE WAS A RUMOR THAT THE RESISTANCE MOVEMENT

HAD ITS HEADQUARTERS OUT AT THE PROVING GROUNDS,

AND THAT WHEN G.I. JOE WENT UNDERGROUND, THEY HID OUT THERE.

UH, THANK YOU, MA'AM.

YEAH, UH, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.

MARTHA, YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

HEY, COME BACK HERE!

THIS MONEY AIN'T NO GOOD!

IT'S U.S. DOLLARS -- ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS!

Grunt: YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

I THINK WE WERE OUT MORE THAN A FEW HOURS, GUYS --

MORE LIKE YEARS.

I MEAN, RESISTANCE MOVEMENT? UNDERGROUND?

THOSE OLD FOLKS MADE IT SOUND

LIKE SNAKE BREATH BEAT THE TAR OUT OF JOE

AND TOOK OVER A LONG TIME AGO.

-COME ON. -YEAH, SURE. THAT'S GREAT.

YOU KIDDING? GET OFF IT.

GO AHEAD, LAUGH.

BUT UNCLE SAM DOESN'T HAVE A WEATHER DOMINATOR, REMEMBER?

THAT'S ONE OF DESTRO'S INVENTIONS.

Lady Jaye: COME ON.

HEADQUARTERS IS THE ONLY PLACE WE'LL GET ANSWERS WE CAN TRUST.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

Grunt: KIND OF EXPLAINS WHY NOBODY ANSWERED, DOESN'T IT?

OH, NO. IT CAN'T BE.

"PERMANENTLY CLOSED BY ORDER OF COBRA COMMANDER."

THEN IT'S TRUE. SOMEHOW WE DID A RIP VAN WINKLE.

AND WHILE WE WERE ASLEEP,

G.I. JOE WAS DEFEATED BY COBRA.

AND I WONDERED WHAT DIFFERENCE IT'D MAKE

IF COBRA WON OR LOST.

YOU MAY FIND OUT, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY,

UNLESS WE GET OUR BASE BACK.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

FIRE?

FIRE!

LOOK OUT!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Lady Jaye: BREAKS MY HEART.

I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE PLACE.

WE'VE GOT OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US.

BUT FIRST LET'S GET THESE SNAKES INTO THE BRIG.

WELL, WE GOT THE GENERATORS GOING.

AND NOW THAT WE GOT POWER TO THE COMPUTERS,

WE KNOW WHY WE COULDN'T CONTACT THE OTHER JOES.

OUR COMMUNICATIONS SATELLITE AIN'T IN ORBIT NO MORE.

THEN WE CAN'T REACH THE ONES THAT WENT UNDERGROUND?

FLINT...I THINK WE MAY BE THE ONLY ONES LEFT.

TAKE A LOOK.

I CALLED UP THE DUTY ROSTER ON THE RECORDS COMPUTER.

OF ROUGHLY 50 ACTIVE JOES,

ALL BUT SIX ARE LISTED AS MISSING IN ACTION.

AND OF THOSE SIX, THREE WERE LOST.

CASUALTIES OF THE LAST WAR AGAINST COBRA.

Clutch: HANRAHAN, TIMOTHY P. CODE NAME: BLOWTORCH.

HAUSER, CONRAD S. CODE NAME: DUKE.

KATZENBOGEN, DAVID L. CODE NAME: BAZOOKA.

KIBBEY, ALBERT L. CODE NAME: BREAKER.

HOW CAN THIS BE?

[ Weakly ] I-I CAN'T TAKE IT.

I JUST CAN'T.

DUSTY, ALPINE, BAZOOKA --

I'M NEVER GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN?

HOW? WHY?!

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, WE'RE GONNA GET THE ANSWERS.

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY BEEN GATHERING DUST A LONG TIME.

HEY, FLINT, WE GOT US SOME AIR POWER, TOO!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "TOO"?

WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE A LITTLE RUSTY,

BUT I THINK WE CAN GET THEM AIRBORNE.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GROUND TRANSPORTS?

USABLE, I THINK,

AS LONG AS WE DISGUISE THEM WITH A COAT OF PAINT.

THEN LET'S GET CRACKING.

GRUNT, YOU LOOK AFTER STEELER

AND TRY TO GET THE COMPUTERS WORKING AGAIN.

THE REST OF US WILL DO A LITTLE RECONNAISSANCE.

Flint: THIS TOWN SEEMS FAMILIAR,

BUT I CAN'T SEE ENOUGH TO BE SURE.

Barbecue: LEAST THEY DIDN'T TORCH THE EVENING PAPERS.

"COBRA COMMANDER TO DELIVER

STATE OF THE EMPIRE ADDRESS TONIGHT"?

WHAT IN THE --

[ SIREN WAILS ]

THE POLICE.

SOMEHOW I DOUBT THEY JUST WANT TO GIVE US A TICKET.

THE DREADNOKS HAVE BECOME COPS?

I GUESS LAW ENFORCEMENT AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.

GENTLEMEN, I'M GLAD YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

SURRENDER AT ONCE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

WE REPEAT, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

Buzzer: THE BLEEDERS!

MAKING A BREAK FOR IT, THEY IS.

AFTER THEM!

[ SIREN WAILS ]

Lady Jaye: FELLAS, WE COULD FLY OVER THIS COUNTRYSIDE FOR DAYS

AND STILL NOT LEARN A THING.

PROBABLY 'CAUSE WE'RE GOING ABOUT THIS ALL WRONG, LADY JAYE.

YEAH, NOW, IF WE HAD AN EYE IN THE SKY...

-A what? -YOU'LL SEE.

Clutch, Footloose,

12:00 LOW -- TAKE A LOOK.

THAT -- THAT LOOKS LIKE THE MOUNT RUSHMORE MEMORIAL.

BUT, OH, MY GOSH, THEY'VE CHANGED IT.

CLUTCH TO LADY JAYE.

I FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR -- A WEATHER SATELLITE.

I'VE TAPPED INTO ITS CAMERAS.

I CAN PATCH YOUR COMMUNICATION SYSTEM'S VISUAL MONITORS

into what I'm picking up.

THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL'S BECOME...

A COBRA COMMANDER MEMORIAL?

Yeah, and it looks like the United Nations

has become one nation... under Cobra.

COBRA HAS CONQUERED THE WORLD.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS.

CHANGES LIKE THESE MUST HAVE TAKEN YEARS TO MAKE.

[ SIREN WAILING ]

AAH!

[ LAUGHS ] I GUESS THEY LOST INTEREST.

HELLO!

THE DATE ON THIS PAPER --

IT'S THE SAME AS WHEN WE GOT BLITZED BY THAT TRANSMUTER,

WHICH MEANS OUR LIGHTS COULDN'T HAVE BEEN OUT FOR LONG.

BUT IF WE'RE NOT IN THE FUTURE, WHERE ARE WE?

IF NOT ANOTHER TIME, THEN...ANOTHER PLACE...

ANOTHER WORLD...

ANOTHER -- UH-OH! BAIL OUT!

WHOA.

ANYTHING DAMAGED?

UH, NO, NOTHING...

EXCEPT MAYBE THE RESALE VALUE OF THOSE CYCLES.

FREEZE, MATES, OR WE'LL VENTILATE YOUR UGLY HEADS.

BET YOU DIDN'T FIGURE

COBRA HAD THE OLD HEADQUARTERS BUGGED, NOW, DID YOU?

STEELER, WOULD YOU HAND ME THAT CIRCUIT BOARD?

[ GROANING ]

NOT ALIVE WE'RE NOT ALIVE!

CAN'T BE! NO!

NO, WE MUST HAVE DIED IN THAT EXPLOSION.

AND NOW WE'VE GONE TO THE DEVIL.

MISTRESS, IT'S HIM -- THE ONE YOU CALLED STEELER.

I'M POSITIVE.

EXCELLENT.

GET A LOAD OF THIS!

Lady Jaye: NO, CLUTCH.

THAT'S NOT NEW YORK -- NOT THE ONE WE KNOW, ANYWAY.

AND THAT'S NOT OUR WASHINGTON BELOW US, EITHER.

I DON'T EVEN THINK WE'RE ON THE EARTH WE KNOW.

I THINK WHEN THE TRANSMUTER EXPLODED,

IT DIDN'T CHANGE OUR ENVIRONMENT --

IT BLASTED OPEN A GATEWAY INTO A PARALLEL WORLD

AND HURLED US INTO IT.

Footloose: A WHAT?

ANOTHER DIMENSION OR SOMETHING,

WHERE SOME THINGS ARE IDENTICAL TO OURS,

BUT OTHERS, SUCH AS COBRA'S WORLD DOMINATION,

ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

COBRA RATTLERS ON AN INTERCEPT COURSE!

TO BE CONTINUED ON TOMORROW'S "G.I. JOE."