Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

Gung-Ho: I DON'T MIND BEING SHOT AT.

I DON'T MIND EMERGENCY LANDINGS.

I DON'T EVEN MIND CRASHING.

BUT I HATE TURBULENCE.

DON'T WORRY, GUNG-HO.

WE'LL BE OUT OF IT PRETTY SOON.

FLINT TO TOKYO BASE.

Flint to Tokyo base. Do you read me, Lady Jaye?

Lady Jaye here.

I READ YOU. WHAT IS YOUR STATUS?

We're over Thailand.

It's a bumpy ride,

but the third world economic council delegates

are safe and sound.

MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF COBRA, I IMAGINE.

YEP, THE SNAKES ARE STAYING IN THE GRASS.

See you in time for dinner. Flint signing off.

YES.

SNAKES STAY IN THE GRASS UNTIL THEY STRIKE.

WILD WEASEL, ATTACK WHEN READY.

WILD WEASEL HERE. WE'RE READY.

I want prisoners.

IF YOU INSIST.

Flint: RELAX, GUNG-HO.

PLANES DON'T CRASH BECAUSE OF TURBULENCE.

YEAH, BUT THEY CRASH

WHEN THEY'VE GOT RATTLERS ON THEIR TAIL.

FIRE!

WE'RE HIT!

COBRA LEADER TO G.I. JOE --

LAND YOUR PLANE OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.

IT'S PRETTY COWARDLY TO ATTACK AN UNARMED PLANE, COBRA.

BUT, THEN AGAIN,

IT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY KIND YOU CAN SHOOT DOWN.

YOU ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE, G.I. JOE.

LAND OR DIE.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, THERE'S NO AIRFIELD AROUND HERE.

THEN WE'LL MAKE ONE FOR YOU.

COBRAS, FIRE ATG MISSILES IN CARPET FORMATION.

THERE'S YOUR RUNWAY, G.I. JOE. NOW LAND!

Gung-Ho: WHICH GATE WOULD YOU LIKE US TO PULL UP TO?

JUST SIT TIGHT.

WE'LL COME OUT AND GET YOU AND YOUR DISTINGUISHED PASSENGERS.

Flint: SURE ENOUGH.

TELL THE PASSENGERS TO GET READY.

WILD WEASEL TO COBRA COMMANDER --

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

All: COBRA!

YO-O-O, JOE!

THANKS, FLINT.

Wild Weasel: COMMANDER, IT WAS A TRICK.

THE JOES ARE ARMED. ATTACK!

Ace: FORGET THAT ATTACK, COBRA.

WE'RE DEALING THIS HAND FROM A STACKED DECK.

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF.

GET READY TO CASH IN YOUR CHIPS.

AAH!

MOVE IT, COBRA.

GET OVER THERE WITH YOUR PALS.

[ CHUCKLES ] IT LOOKS LIKE THEY BOUGHT OUR RUSE.

THE REAL DELEGATES JUST LANDED IN TOKYO.

STICK TO UNARMED PLANES, COBRA.

I WILL HAVE REVENGE.

ANYTIME, BABY. ANYTIME.

[ LAUGHS ]

THEY TRICKED US.

THEY ARE LEARNING TOO MUCH FROM OUR METHODS.

THEY HAVE TRICKS.

BUT WE HAVE TRICKS WITHIN TRICKS.

COOPERATION AMONG NATIONS IS DANGEROUS TO COBRA.

THE ECONOMIC SUMMIT MUST BE STOPPED.

BUT HOW?

THE CONFERENCE SITE WILL BE HEAVILY GUARDED BY THE JOES.

I KNOW.

AND THEREFORE THEY WILL BE GUARDING THE WRONG PLACE.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

HOW DO THEY EVER RESOLVE ANYTHING AT THESE MEETINGS?

THEY USUALLY DON'T. THEY JUST BLOW OFF STEAM.

BETTER THAN COBRA BLOWING THEM AWAY.

WHAT'S OUR REINFORCEMENT STATUS

IN CASE SECURITY ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH?

WE'VE PULLED IN EVERYONE WE'VE GOT

EXCEPT BAZOOKA, QUICK KICK,

AND THEIR TRAINEES IN HOKKAIDO.

HOW DID I DO, BAZOOKA-SAN?

[ GROANS ] THAT'S IT FOR NOW.

TEIKO GOT THE BETTER OF YOU. SO WHAT?

PHOOEY.

FACE IT. YOUR FIGHTING STYLE IS TOO WESTERN.

PUNCHING IS BETTER THAN JUDO.

QUICK KICK, DID I INJURE HIM?

[ Imitating Humphrey Bogart ] NO, SWEETHEART.

YOU JUST GAVE HIM A BUMP IN THE PRIDE.

OH? WHERE IS THE PRIDE?

[ Imitating Alfred Hitchcock ] GOOD EVENING.

WELCOME TO "BOMB THEATER."

IN THIS EPISODE, BAZOOKA, OUR BOMB EXPERT,

MUST DISARM THE BOMB IN TIME, OR WE ALL DIE.

[ CROWD MURMURS ]

FIRST, BLUE.

SECOND, UH...

UH...RED.

THEN, UM...

[ Normal voice ] THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.

RIGHT. UH...

[ RUMBLING ] -WHAT?

WH-O-OA!

LOOK OUT! THE MOUNTAIN IS COMING DOWN!

EVADE! EVADE!

THE QUAKE IS OVER.

EVERYBODY MAKE IT?

EVERYBODY IS HERE... EXCEPT BAZOOKA.

HE'S GONE.

HE WAS A GOOD MAN -- NO BOMB EXPERT, BUT A GOOD MAN.

I'LL MISS HIM.

Bazooka: THROW SOME ROPE!

BAZOOKA?

[ GRUNTING ]

MAYBE GREEN, THEN RED.

[ Laughing ] FIGURE IT OUT LATER.

WE'VE GOT TO GET TO TOKYO.

THE EARTHQUAKE TEST WENT PERFECTLY.

G.I. JOE'S TRAINING CAMP IS IN RUINS.

THE CAMP IS NOTHING. THE NEXT TARGET IS TOKYO.

BUT FIRST WE NEED SOME INFORMATION.

LEAVE THAT TO ME.

FLINT, THE HOKKAIDO QUAKE WAS 8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE.

EVERYTHING WAS LEVELED.

I DON'T GET IT.

THERE ARE NO ACTIVE FAULTS IN THAT AREA.

AND BAZOOKA THOUGHT HE HEARD SOME EXPLOSIONS

JUST BEFORE THE QUAKE STARTED.

OH, THEN IT WASN'T A NATURAL PHENOMENON.

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

YOU KNOW, JAPANESE SCIENTISTS

ARE TRYING TO PREVENT MAJOR EARTHQUAKES

BY SETTING OFF PRECISELY PLACED EXPLOSIONS.

AND COBRA MIGHT HAVE FIGURED OUT

HOW TO CAUSE EARTHQUAKES WITH EXPLOSIONS.

RIGHT.

WHEN BAZOOKA GETS HERE, I WANT YOU BOTH

TO MEET WITH JAPAN'S LEADING SEISMOLOGIST.

Flint: HIS NAME IS DR. MORITA.

FOR SECURITY REASONS, WE'VE ARRANGED THE MEETING

AT AN ANCIENT SHINTO SHRINE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CITY.

FANCY.

SHOES OFF.

THAT MUST BE DR. MORITA.

HEY!

THERE THEY ARE.

[ PANTING ]

THERE'S GOT TO BE A TOP FLOOR TO THIS THING.

DR. MORITA.

HUH?

WAIT! YOU GUYS AREN'T PRIESTS.

SO NICE OF YOU TO COME RESCUE ME.

STORM SHADOW.

AAH!

DISPOSE OF THEM. THEY ARE NOT WORTHY OF MY EFFORT.

LADY JAYE!

AAH!

GOOD RIDE.

UH-OH.

Man: GET THEM!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

GET THEM!

QUICK KICK!

YOU'RE LATE.

RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC.

[ Imitating James Cagney ] COME ON, YOU DIRTY RAT.

COME ON AND GET ME.

YOUR CONFIDENCE IS TOO GREAT.

YOUR OWN FORCE HAS DEFEATED YOU.

I HAVE ESCAPED.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU TWO GO AFTER THEM.

I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REAL DR. MORITA.

IN THERE.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

MOVIES?

NOT MOVIES -- BUNRAKU -- PUPPETS.

DEAD END.

[ DOOR CREAKS ] -LISTEN.

WHO'S HERE?

LOOK OUT!

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT, STORM SHADOW.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY.

STORM SHADOW DROPPED OUT OF SIGHT FOR A WHILE.

[ LAUGHS ] AND SO WILL YOU.

SCRAP IRON.

-WHOA! -WHOA!

WHAT DO WE DO?

FIND A WAY OUT, IF THERE IS ONE.

JUST IN CASE YOU GET LONELY, I'M SENDING MY PAL DOWN.

HE'S A REAL DYNAMITE GUY.

A BOMB. I'LL DISARM IT.

OVER MY DEAD BODY.

HEY.

COME ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

[ BEEPING ]

HEAD TOWARD THE LIGHT.

MOVE.

HOLD ON TIGHT.

BAZOOKA, YOU OKAY?

YEAH. HAVE A BANANA?

Lady Jaye: FLINT, I'M AT DR. MORITA'S HOUSE.

THE PLACE IS A SHAMBLES.

BUT I THINK I'VE GOT WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

I FOUND A SEISMIC STUDY MAP. IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.

FLINT: Grab it and get out of there.

I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS NOT A LENDING LIBRARY.

HOWEVER, I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU

SOMETHING THAT IS LONG OVERDUE.

OH. WHY --

[ LAUGHS ] RELAX, LADY JAYE. STOP FIGHTING.

THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE, THE TIGHTER THE NET BECOMES.

NOW, PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE REAL DR. MORITA.

HE HAS BEEN MOST RELUCTANT

TO GIVE US THE INFORMATION WE WANT.

BUT FORTUNATELY YOU FOUND THE BOOK WE NEED.

[ BEEPING ]

LADY JAYE'S IN TROUBLE.

SHE'S ACTIVATED HER HOMING DEVICE.

QUICK KICK, I WANT YOU, BAZOOKA, AND TEIKO

TO FOLLOW HER SIGNAL AND RESCUE HER.

OH, BOY. LAND MINE.

I'LL DISARM IT.

LEAVE IT, BAZOOKA.

UH, YEAH. WELL, OKAY.

LADY JAYE IS IN THERE. LET'S MOVE.

I CAN'T SAY A LOT FOR THE ACCOMMODATIONS.

Cobra Commander: TUT, TUT, LADY JAYE.

WE NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS FROM OUR OTHER GUESTS.

NEVER MIND. IT'S ALMOST CHECKOUT TIME.

IN TWO HOURS, TOKYO WILL BE DESTROYED BY AN EARTHQUAKE.

WHICH WILL SET OFF A TIDAL WAVE THAT WILL FLOOD THIS ISLAND.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

YOU WILL OUTLIVE YOUR FRIENDS BY ROUGHLY TWO MINUTES.

HOPE WE'RE NOT LATE, FOLKS.

NOT AT ALL. YOUR TIMING IS SUPERB.

HABU SNAKES MAY BE SMALL,

BUT THEIR POISON IS QUITE SUFFICIENT.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

OH.

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I'D RATHER BE WITH THESE SNAKES

THAN THE ONES THAT JUST LEFT.

Quick Kick: YEAH.

AT LEAST THESE KNOW WHEN THEY'RE NOT WANTED.

Flint: DR. MORITA HAS PINPOINTED

WHERE COBRA MUST HAVE PLANTED THE BOMBS.

BAZOOKA AND TEIKO, GO TO THE TOSHOGU SHRINE.

QUICK KICK AND GUNG-HO,

THE GREAT BUDDHA IN KAMAKURA IS ALL YOURS.

LADY JAYE AND I ARE HEADING FOR MOUNT FUJI.

Bazooka: IN CHARGE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND ME.

Both: YO-O-O, JOE!

ACCORDING TO DR. MORITA, IT SHOULD BE RIGHT ABOUT...

[ BEEPING ] -HERE.

ONE DOWN...TWO TO GO.

THERE IT IS.

[ GRUNTING ]

CAREFUL.

WHOA!

THAT'S WHAT I CALL CATCHING A BOMB IN THE END ZONE.

IT'S HIDDEN, BUT WHERE?

LOOK. FOUND THE BOMB.

EVERYBODY READY?

TEIKO: One minute to go.

FIRST, RED.

NEXT, BLUE.

QUICK KICK: Okay, there are two left.

Which one do we cut next?

UH, YELLOW.

OR -- OR IS IT BLACK?

WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME.

No, no, yellow.

NO. IT'S BLACK.

I THINK I KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT.

YEAH, YELLOW.

THE BOMB -- GONNA BLOW.

MAYBE NOT.

GOOD.

[ GIGGLES ]

FINALLY, I GOT YOU TO SAY SOMETHING NICE.

HIT THE STREET, JOES.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

NOT YET.

I'LL TRY TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE.

JUMP!

AAH!

PARTNERS?

PARTNERS.

Bazooka: [ GROANS ] I CAN'T EAT THIS STUFF.

Flint: WELL, EVERYBODY, THE CONFERENCE WAS A SUCCESS.

EVERYBODY SEEMED TO PUT AWAY THEIR NARROW-MINDEDNESS

AND AGREE ON A FEW THINGS.

IT WAS GREAT TO SEE,

AND NONE OF IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

IF WE HADN'T STOPPED COBRA.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

OCTOPUS? YUCK.

IT IS A DELICACY.

JUST EAT IT, BAZOOKA.

PHOOEY. HAMBURGER'S BETTER.

HAMBURGER? YUCK.

[ GAGS ]

THERE ARE SOME GAPS THAT JUST CAN'T BE BRIDGED.

THEY DON'T REALLY EXPECT US TO EAT THIS, DO THEY?

OH, COME ON, FLINT. BE A LITTLE OPEN-MINDED.

MY MIND IS OPEN. IT'S MY MOUTH THAT'S SHUT.

Shh. YOU'LL OFFEND OUR HOSTS.

UGH. I THINK IT JUST GRABBED MY CHOPSTICKS.

WAIT TILL IT GETS TO YOUR STOMACH.

GUYS, IT WON'T HURT YOU.

NO WAY AM I GONNA EAT AN OCTOPUS.