Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

YOU DID A GREAT JOB RENOVATING THIS OLD FIREHOUSE, BARBECUE.

I, UH, HOPE IT'S STILL STANDING AFTER THE PARTY.

Barbecue: YEAH, BUT IT'S TOO NEAT.

I WANT TO ANTIQUE IT A LITTLE.

HOPE MY FLAME BURGER'S HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, SCARLETT.

WHEW.

WHEW, IT SURE IS... IF YOU LIKE BOILED PUNCH.

GET THE BALL, MAN!

-WATCH IT! -WE GOT HIM OUTNUMBERED!

KEEP HIM FROM THE BASKET!

BLOCK ME IN, YOU GONNA LOSE YOUR SKIN.

Lady Jaye: I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER SEEN THIS DANCE BEFORE.

ALPINE, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK?

TRUST ME, FOOTLOOSE.

I'LL MAKE A CLIMBER OUT OF YOU EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU.

WHAT?

OKAY, WE GOT HIM CORNERED! NOW GET THE BALL!

I'M BURNING TO GIVE YOU SOME LEARNING.

OW!

-OOF! -OW!

-HEY! -WATCH IT!

WHOOPS!

GUESS I WON'T BE NEEDING THAT WINDOW CLEANED.

YIKES! UGH!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

WELL, LOOKS LIKE MY PARTY'S A SUCCESS.

HELLO?

MAN: Mr. Barbecue, this is the Viper.

THE VIPER?

I COULDN'T HAVE HEARD YOU RIGHT. WHAT'D YOU SAY?

The Viper is coming -- 575.

[ Dial tone ]

BARBECUE, WHO WAS IT?

SOME GUY WHO SAYS HE'S THE VIPER.

WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?

"THE VIPER IS COMING -- 575."

-THAT'S IT? -TO THE WORD.

YOU THINK IT'S A MESSAGE FROM COBRA?

GOT TO BE.

A CODE?

IT'S A CHALLENGE.

THEY'RE TELLING US WHERE THEIR NEXT BIG ATTACK WILL BE.

BUT THEY THINK WE WON'T FIGURE OUT THE CODE IN TIME.

BUT WHY WOULD THEY TAKE THE CHANCE?

I DON'T KNOW.

BURN IT BACK TO HEADQUARTERS, GUYS.

AND DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A BURGER WITH YOU.

HEY! HOW ABOUT LEAVING ONE FOR THE CHEF?!

Scarlett: "THE VIPER IS COMING -- 575."

WHAT IF THOSE ARE THE LATITUDE AND LONGITUDE?

Lady Jaye: HMM, LET'S SEE.

5 DEGREES EAST, 75 DEGREES SOUTH.

ANTARCTICA.

BARBECUE, I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT.

OH, NATURALLY, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE THE SOUTH POLE.

THEY MUST KNOW HOW I HATE COLD WEATHER.

[ WIND HOWLING ]

CHOCK-FULL OF NOTHING.

WHAT COULD COBRA ATTACK DOWN HERE?

Barbecue: WHATEVER IT IS, THEY CAN HAVE IT.

FOOTLOOSE, WHAT'S THAT UP AHEAD?

AH, JUST A ROCK.

IT'LL LOOK GREAT IN MY COLLECTION.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO? DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH HERE.

GOT A POINT, BUT AFTER COMING ALL THIS WAY,

I WANT TO GO BACK WITH SOMETHING.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ BUZZING ] -WHAT?!

-HOLD ON! -WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

WHAT THE...

DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?

Lady Jaye: I GOT A FEELING...

WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.

WELCOME.

-WHAT'S THIS? -HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

WELCOME TO THE COBRA REST AND RECREATION BASE NUMBER 3.

VOLLEYBALL, TABLE TENNIS, AND SWIMMING

ARE AVAILABLE IN THE COBRA COMMANDER GYMNASIUM.

LUNCH WILL BE SERVED IN THE DESTRO DINING ROOM.

THE FLOOR SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT 7:00 P.M.

IN THE ZARTAN ENTERTAINMENT CENTER.

TONIGHT WE FEATURE THE COBRA CUTIES.

ENJOY YOUR STAY. OH, AND NO TIPPING, PLEASE.

SO THIS IS THE COBRA COMMANDER GYMNASIUM?

UH-OH.

VOLLEYBALL, ANYONE?

NOW!

BARBECUE, THIS IS GETTING HEAVY.

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. I'M NOT JOINING THIS GYM.

I DON'T KNOW. WE'RE GETTING A PRETTY GOOD WORKOUT.

GET THOSE JOES!

NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES A LITTLE ADVANTAGE.

-WHOA! -WHOA!

TIME FOR A BATH, YOU EELS!

THERE MUST BE MORE JOES UP TOPSIDE!

[ BEEP ]

FIREBATS!

GUESS IT'S TIME TO TAME THE FLAME.

SNOWPEDOES! LET'S SPLIT!

ACE? DO YOU READ ME, ACE?

We are up to our goggles in Snow Serpents.

READ YOU, SCARLETT. PEST REMOVAL IS ON THE WAY.

THIS SOFA AIN'T MUCH, BUT AT LEAST IT'S FIREPROOF.

YEAH. TOO BAD IT'S NOT LASERPROOF.

UH-OH.

LOOKS LIKE COBRA'S DEALING FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK.

I'LL CASH IN THEIR CHIPS.

YOU GUYS GIVE THE SNOW SERPENTS THE ROYAL FLUSH.

[ JOES CHEERING ]

GET THEM, JOES!

I'LL TAKE THAT.

WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF.

COBRA JUST WENT BUST.

GUNG-HO, BARBECUE, AND LADY JAYE ARE DOWN THERE SOMEWHERE.

YO, JOE!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

COBRA! DROP YOUR WEAPONS!

GLAD YOU GUYS COULD MAKE IT.

575. SO THE MESSAGE MADE SENSE.

BUT THE SITUATION DOESN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SCARLETT?

THINK ABOUT IT, GUYS.

WHY WOULD COBRA SEND US A MESSAGE

THAT LEADS US RIGHT TO ONE OF THEIR OWN R&R BASES?

Man: SEND YOU A MESSAGE?

WE WOULD NEVER SEND YOU A MESSAGE,

YOU -- YOU SPOILSPORTS.

Barbecue: BUT IF COBRA DIDN'T SEND THAT MESSAGE,

THEN WHO DID?

Scarlett: THE VIPER DID.

-YEAH, BUT WHO'S THE VIPER? [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

YOU'RE ASKING ME?

YES?

This is the Viper.

I come on Friday, west corner.

WEST POINT, THE U.S. MILITARY ACADEMY.

BUT WHY ARE WE CHECKING THIS PLACE OUT?

WELL, THE VIPER SAID WEST CORNER,

AND "CORNER" COULD MEAN "POINT."

Roadblock: YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE

WHETHER THERE'S MORE BRASS IN THE BAND OR IN THE STANDS.

THE BRASS IN THE STANDS IS WHAT'S WORRYING ME.

THEY'D SURE MAKE A TEMPTING TARGET FOR COBRA.

WE'D BETTER WARN THE TANK JOCKEYS.

COMMANDER?

MAJOR BLUDD!

START THE ATTACK!

GET SENATOR ROBERTS AND GENERAL GRANT!

THEY'LL MAKE MIGHTY GOOD HOSTAGES FOR COBRA.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

WE GOT TO CUT THEM OFF FROM THE BLEACHERS!

Major Bludd: COBRA!

BLOODY DOGS!

BLOW THE JOES TO SMITHEREENS!

FOOTLOOSE, GET ME NEXT TO THE LEAD TANK.

YOU GOT IT.

FORM A CIRCLE AROUND THE TANKS.

NOW I KNOW HOW CUSTER FELT.

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

FOOTLOOSE, LOOK OUT!

UGH.

TOUGH LUCK, MY BEAUTY.

OH! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.

YOU EXPECT ME TO FALL FOR THAT OLD GAG?

AAH!

GOOD WORK, CADETS. THANKS.

OUR PLEASURE, MA'AM.

HOW WE DOING HERE, FOOTLOOSE?

WE AIN'T GONNA BE DOING NOTHING IF WE DON'T GET SOME HELP FAST.

Scarlett: HEY, BIG BOY.

WOW, THAT'S SOME KIND OF SOLDIER.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

AAH!

LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS, COBRA.

NEVER. IT'D TAKE 10 OF YOU TO EVERY ONE OF US.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE 50 TO 1?

[ RIFLES COCKING ]

UH, UH, TIME TO EXIT, I BELIEVE.

Scarlett: IT'S ALL OVER, COBRAS.

YOU CAN'T WIN. YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED.

WE'LL GIVE YOU FIVE SECONDS TO SURRENDER.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

...FIVE!

WE GIVE UP!

WE SURRENDER.

DON'T SHOOT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Scarlett: OHH, THIS DAY'S BEEN TOO MUCH.

LET ME REST MY FEET FOR A MINUTE.

THEN I'M GOING STRAIGHT HOME AND RIGHT TO BED.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA GET IT?

DON'T LOOK AT ME. I'VE HAD IT WITH PHONES TODAY.

HELLO?

The Viper is coming tomorrow,

top floor first.

WHO ARE YOU?!

The Viper. I am the Viper.

Goodbye.

WELL?

WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO HEADQUARTERS.

THE VIPER STRIKES AGAIN.

COME IN, WILD BILL. DO YOU READ ME? OVER.

LOUD AND CLEAR, MISS SCARLETT.

I GOT THIS HERE EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISES TOWER SCOPED OUT,

BUT FROM WHERE I SIT, SHE LOOKS MIGHTY PEACEFUL.

Barbecue: WHAT DO YOU THINK, SCARLETT?

THE VIPER ONLY SAID "TOP FLOOR FIRST" --

DIDN'T SAY WHICH TOP FLOOR OR WHICH BUILDING.

WELL, THE EXTENSIVE TOWER

IS THE TALLEST BUILDING IN THE WORLD,

SO THERE'S NO TOP FLOOR THAT WILL TOP THAT ONE.

GUESS IT'S WORTH TAKING A LOOK INSIDE.

-BACK US UP, ROADBLOCK. -YOU GOT IT.

Destro: THE JOES ARE INTERCEPTING OUR EVERY MOVE.

OH! THIS VIPER MUST BE TIPPING THEM OFF.

YOU, MAJOR BLUDD... ARE THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE.

ME?! THE VIPER?!

DO YOU REALIZE HOW CLOSE I CAME

TO BEING CAPTURED BY THOSE G.I. JOE BLOKES?

-Xamot: HE CAN'T BE... -Tomax: THE VIPER.

BLUDD'S BEEN WITH US...

-CONSTANTLY FOR THE... -LAST 24 HOURS.

SAY NO MORE, OR I WILL SUSPECT YOU, TOO.

-OH, COME, NOW. -OH, COME, NOW.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA...

OF ALL THE MAN-HOURS INVOLVED IN...

-FINANCING... -PLANNING...

Both: AND BUILDING A NEW COBRA R&R CENTER?

WHY WOULD WE TELL THE JOES WHERE WE ARE LOCATED?

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY G.I. JOES!

-THE VIPER... -HAS STRUCK AGAIN.

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON THIS TOP FLOOR.

[ BEEPS ]

LOOK.

[ ALL COUGHING ]

-SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG. -LET'S GO.

[ GLASS SHATTERING ]

HELLO, JOES.

ROADBLOCK TO WILD BILL.

WE HAVE ENTERED THE BUILDING, AND --

Wild Bill: COME BACK, ROADBLOCK.

YOUR TRANSMISSION WAS GARBLED.

OH, DANG IT. WHERE'D HE COME FROM?

WELL, IF IT ISN'T LITTLE SCARLETT O'HARA.

[ Southern accent ] WHY, DESTRO, I DO DECLARE.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE THE LITTLE OLD VIPER.

NO, I AM NOT THE VIPER,

BUT WE WILL SOON FIND OUT WHO IS.

DISARM THESE FOOLISH G.I. JOES.

Wild Bill: SURPRISE!

DANG IT. ANOTHER ONE.

THE TIME HAS COME TO GET TO THE BOTTOM

OF THIS VIPER BUSINESS.

THIS LITTLE GAME WILL NOW COME TO AN END.

DROP THAT WEAPON!

OH!

OH, MY HAND!

BARBECUE, SNAKE EYES, OVER HERE.

COME ON, FOOTLOOSE.

WE WANT TO GET UP THERE SOMETIME THIS WEEK.

-I'M COMING, I'M COMING. -WELL, MOVE IT,

OR WE'RE GONNA BE STREET PIZZAS IN NO TIME FLAT.

HERE COMES A RERUN.

UH-OH.

BYE-BYE, G.I. JOE.

HEY, YOU GUYS NEED A LIFT?

NO, THANKS, WILD BILL.

WE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER...

...CONTROL.

YEAH, I GUESS YOU DO.

ONWARD AND UPWARD.

BARBECUE, THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS.

YEAH, WE COULD USE A LITTLE HELP.

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK.

THE ESCAPE SHAFT, QUICK.

RIGHT. LET'S PACK IT IN.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

ZARTAN, WE'RE OUTNUMBERED. WE MUST SURRENDER.

SURRENDER? ZARTAN NEVER SURRENDERS.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

-WE GIVE UP. -WE'RE THROUGH.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH. THEY'VE HAD IT.

WELL, WHAT'S HE GOT TO SAY?

NOTHING. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE VIPER IS.

DESTRO AND MAJOR BLUDD DON'T KNOW.

AND THE TWINS DON'T KNOW, EITHER.

I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER IF THE VIPER

EVEN KNOWS WHO HE IS.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

H-HELLO?

This is the Viper.

I be there noon today. Be ready.

Scarlett: 12:00 NOON, STRAIGHT UP.

Roadblock: LOOK.

MR. BARBECUE?

I'M BARBECUE.

I'M THE VIPER.

I'VE COME TO VIPE YOUR VINDOWS.

$5.75 AN HOUR.

I START ON WEST CORNER, TOP FLOOR FIRST.

UH...

[ LAUGHTER ]