Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

[ WATCH BEEPING ]

ATTENTION, AGENT X-99.

YOUR LAST REPORT HAS BEEN RECEIVED.

AND WE ARE ACTING ON YOUR RECOMMENDATION.

YOU ARE...

TO PROCEED WITH THE THEFT

OF THE PSEUDOMONDA EUBACTERIUS...

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS...

-BACTERIA "X." -BACTERIA "X."

I READ YOU.

[ DOOR OPENS ] -Doctor: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT EMBLEM -- YOU'RE COBRA.

AND YOU'RE HISTORY.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DANGEROUS --

NO, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DANGEROUS IT'LL BE

WHEN COBRA'S THROUGH WITH IT.

HERE COMES ONE OF THE CRIMSON ELITE.

ELITE -- AH, WE DO ALL THE WORK.

DESTRO?

YOU HAVE THE BACTERIA. GOOD.

YOU ARE DISMISSED.

NOW IT IS JUST A GERM,

BUT SOON IT WILL BE A CONQUEROR OF WORLDS.

YOU ARE DISMISSED.

MY ORDERS ARE TO REMAIN, OBSERVE,

AND REPORT YOUR PROGRESS TO THE CRIMSON GUARD COMMANDERS.

I DO NOT ANSWER TO THEM. LEAVE AT ONCE!

MY ORDERS COME FROM COBRA COMMANDER HIMSELF,

IN TRIPLICATE.

ELITE TROOPER TO CRIMSON GUARD COMMANDERS.

DESTRO DEPARTED IN ANGER.

WHAT ARE YOUR INSTRUCTIONS?

WE CAN'T AFFORD DELAYS.

-BRING THE BACTERIA HERE... -AT ONCE.

WE CAN PERFORM THE TESTS IN...

EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISES LABS...

-AND AT HALF THE COST. -AND AT HALF THE COST.

I READ YOU. OVER AND OUT.

BACTERIA "X."

HMM, WHAT'S THIS?

EXPERIMENTAL GROWTH SERUM.

IT MIGHT PROVE USEFUL, TOO.

SECURITY, THEFT IN PROGRESS.

LEAVE HIM TO US.

DON'T TRY TO IMPEDE ME. I HAVE MY AUTHORIZATION.

YEAH? WE'VE GOT OUR AUTHORIZATION, TOO.

DON'T FIRE, YOU FOOL! YOU MIGHT HIT THE VIALS!

ELITE TROOPER TO HYDROFOIL. COVER ME. I'M COMING IN.

I'VE BEEN HIT, BUT I'LL DO WHAT I CAN!

BLOW HIM OUT OF THE AIR!

STOP, FOOL! WE'LL CRASH!

LET GO!

SURRENDER THE VIALS!

YOU LOW-RANKED IDIOT!

AAH!

LOOK!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

THE WATER MOCCASIN! IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE TO ESCAPE!

THE DARN THING WON'T START.

-COME ON, COME ON. -PUT THESE ON FAST!

DIVE!

WE GOT A CODE 10 FROM COLONEL SHARPE!

JUST MOMENTS AGO, OUR RECON SATELLITE SPOTTED THIS --

THIS, UH, THING MOVING DOWNSTATE.

ITS NATURE AND ORIGIN ARE UNKNOWN.

THE ONLY THING WE DO KNOW

IS THAT IT ABSORBS EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH.

NO SWEAT, COLONEL.

THERE AIN'T A SLIMER MADE THAT WE CAN'T TAKE OUT.

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

TARGET YOUR MISSILES.

FIRE!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THE MISSILES MUST HAVE BEEN DUDS.

I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF THAT.

Scarlett: ACE!

YEAH, I'M HERE, BUT HE DARN NEAR DEALT ME OUT.

I'VE GOT TO SET HER DOWN.

HEY, PARTNER, YOU MIND IF I BORROW

THAT OLD CROP DUSTER OF YOURS?

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T BRING IT BACK LOOKING LIKE YOURS.

THEY SAY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE OUR HOMES.

HUH. MUST BE ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE LAND SCHEMES.

EMMIE, I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MAKE THAT SURPRISE STEW AGAIN!

WOW. THAT WAS TOO CLOSE.

WHAT'S ACE DOING IN THAT THING?

Dusty: HE'S TRYING TO SNUFF THE BLOB WITH INSECTICIDE.

[ COUGHING ]

LET ME GO!

SNAKE EYES IS RIGHT, SCARLETT.

THAT GAS WOULD OVERCOME US JUST LIKE IT HAS ACE.

WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM THERE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, OLD BUDDY?

ALL RIGHT, NO. ALIVE, YES.

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

IN THE FUTURE, I SUGGEST

YOU LEAVE THE HANDLING OF DEADLY SUBSTANCES

TO EXPERTS LIKE ME.

WHAT DEADLY SUBSTANCE? THE BLOB'S STILL ALIVE.

WHAT YOU REFER TO SO CRUDELY AS A BLOB

IS, IN FACT, A BACTERIUM.

Flint: HE JUST MIGHT BE RIGHT.

I TRACED ITS TRAIL.

IT BEGINS AT A RECENTLY DESTROYED COBRA BASE.

IT TRASHED A COBRA BASE?

MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD GERM AFTER ALL.

YEAH, IT MIGHT JUST DESERVE A MEDAL.

WHERE WOULD YOU PIN IT?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO KILL A GERM.

YOU MEAN HE'S GONNA FLY INTO THE GERM

USING THAT WEIRD-LOOKING PLANE?

THAT'S RIGHT. BIGGEST HYPODERMIC IN THE WORLD.

SNAKE EYES, MAKE SURE THE EXPLOSIVE IS POWERFUL ENOUGH.

I WANT THESE ANTIBIOTICS

TO GET THE WIDEST POSSIBLE DISPERSAL WITHIN THE GERM.

GOOD LUCK, AIRTIGHT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

AFTER YOUR LAST TWO EXPERIENCES WITH THE GERM,

YOU BETTER STAY WAY BEHIND ME.

AND I WANT YOU TWO IN CONSTANT RADIO CONTACT.

I CAN EITHER CARRY OUT MY MISSION,

OR I CAN LISTEN TO ACE'S CHATTER.

BUT I CAN HARDLY BE EXPECTED TO DO BOTH.

OKAY. ACE, KEEP DOWN THE CHATTER.

I still don't understand

why you have to go into the germ.

AIRTIGHT: Ace, I have to bypass its defenses

and reach its nucleus.

How you gonna do that?

Don't worry about it. Just fly.

THIS IS MOST ENLIGHTENING.

What's it look like?

Airtight?

I REPEAT, AIRTIGHT, CAN YOU READ ME?

ACE TO BASE, SOMETHING IN THE GERM'S NEUROLOGICAL MAKEUP

MUST BE INTERFERING WITH OUR RADIO TRANSMISSION.

ACE, I CAN HEAR YOU PERFECTLY WELL.

I WAS JUST IGNORING YOU.

And for your edification, germs don't have nerves.

WELL, IT WAS JUST A THEORY.

ACE, I'M UNDER ATTACK!

ACE: How can you be attacked inside a germ?

Airtight: WE'VE GOT COBRA MISSILES IN HERE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

How can that be?

SAVE YOUR QUESTIONS TILL AFTER CLASS!

I've got orders from Flint.

Scrub the mission. Fly out of there now!

I CAN'T FLY. IN FACT, I CAN HARDLY STEER.

IT'S LIKE TRYING TO DRIVE A CAR IN JELLO

ACROSS A MINEFIELD.

Like what?

I'M SWITCHING YOU OFF, ACE!

WHEW!

[ BEEPING ]

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.

CORROSIVE ENZYMES.

THEY'RE DEVOURING THE LAB.

AND I'M DESSERT.

THE NUCLEUS.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO AIRTIGHT?

Flint: THERE'S NO WAY OF KNOWING.

HE CUT RADIO CONTACT.

Doctor: I MUST SPEAK TO YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER.

YOU MUST TAKE ME TO HIM.

I KNOW THINGS ABOUT THAT GERM THAT YOU DON'T.

I HELPED CREATE IT.

I'M THE COMMANDING OFFICER.

DO YOU WORK FOR COBRA?

NO, NO. I'M A DOCTOR.

THAT BACTERIA WAS CREATED AT MY HOSPITAL.

IT WAS CREATED AS A RESULT OF THE MISUSE OF ANTIBIOTICS.

IT'S A SUPERGERM.

NOTHING KNOWN TO MAN CAN STOP IT.

IN FACT, YOUR ANTIBIOTICS MIGHT MAKE IT MORE POWERFUL.

WHAT HAPPENED?

[ GROANS ]

OH, NO.

MY CHARGES ARE SET TO GO OFF IN TWO MINUTES.

THEREFORE, WE HAVE TWO ALTERNATIVES --

EITHER YOU LET ME PILOT THE SHIP, OR WE DIE.

THEN WE HAVE NO CHOICE AT ALL.

THE SHOCK WAVES ARE PROPELLING US.

Flint: THERE'S THE EXPLOSION.

THE GERM'S RECEIVING MEGADOSES OF ANTIBIOTICS.

BUT WHAT ABOUT AIRTIGHT?

FLINT? SCARLETT?

CONGRATULATIONS, AIRTIGHT!

WELCOME BACK!

LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THE ANTIBIOTICS, DOCTOR.

YEAH, THAT GERM'S DOING THE SQUIRM.

I COULDN'T HAVE PUT IT BETTER.

NOBODY COULD HAVE.

Doctor: IT'S NOT DYING.

IT'S GOING THROUGH ITS PROCESS OF MITOSIS.

Dusty: MITOSIS? WHAT'S THAT?

REPRODUCING ITSELF.

Flint: INSTEAD OF ONE MENACE...

Scarlett: WE HAVE TWO.

AND LOOK. ONE OF THEM IS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR NEW YORK.

MILLIONS WILL DIE!

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

ORDER AN EVACUATION.

IT LOOKS LIKE I BLEW IT.

JOIN THE CLUB.

I STILL THINK WE OUGHT TO TRY POISONING IT SOMEHOW.

I TRIED THAT, REMEMBER?

WHAT WE NEED IS A CANDY COATING.

WHAT YOU NEED IS A TRANSFER.

NO, MAYBE HE'S GOT SOMETHING.

IT SHOULD WORK -- POISON IN A CANDY COATING.

OF COURSE.

APPLE SEEDS CONTAIN A TINY AMOUNT OF POISON.

POISON?

ONLY IN THE SEEDS. IN SMALL DOSES, IT'S HARMLESS.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IN LARGE DOSES -- SAY, AN ORCHARD FULL?

IT COULD BE DEADLY.

Ace, this is Flint.

Get the first germ into an orchard, fast.

WE'LL WORRY ABOUT THE SECOND ONE.

OKAY, MEN, LOAD THOSE APPLE CRATES!

DUSTY: If we can't even slow this creature down,

HOW CAN WE DIRECT IT TOWARD AN ORCHARD?

DON'T FORGET, DUSTY, THIS THING DOESN'T CARE WHAT IT EATS.

IT CHOWS DOWN ON WHATEVER'S IN FRONT OF IT.

WE'VE GOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ITS MINDLESSNESS.

WATCH.

YOU DID IT! YOU GOT THE GERM TO CHANGE DIRECTION.

Ace: YEAH, BUT NOT ENOUGH.

THE NEAREST APPLE ORCHARD IS A LOT FARTHER NORTH.

DO THE "C" MANEUVER.

DROP YOUR CHARGES ON COMMAND.

STEADY, STEADY.

NOW!

IT'S WORKING!

[ PEOPLE CHEERING ]

OH, NO! IT DIDN'T WORK!

IT'S WEAKENED.

IT JUST WASN'T A BIG ENOUGH DOSE.

Dusty: LOOK -- ANOTHER ORCHARD,

IF WE CAN SEND THE GERM TUMBLING DOWN THAT HILL.

Oh, no! It's gonna split again!

JACKPOT!

GREAT, ACE! NOW WE GOT TO NAIL THE OTHER ONE.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

CAN'T TELL. TRAIL MUST BE BLOCKED UP AHEAD.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK HERE A WHILE.

OH, BROTHER. [ SIGHS ]

TOLLBOOTH, WE GOT A PROBLEM. BRING UP THE BRIDGE-LAYER.

UH, KIND OF ROMANTIC OUT HERE, AIN'T IT?

AW, GIVE ME A BREAK.

WITH PLEASURE.

OHH!

HEY, YOUR POINT'S WELL TAKEN.

I HEAR YOU GOT A PROBLEM.

NOTHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE, TOLLBOOTH.

ACE, WE'VE BEEN DELAYED.

You've got to buy us some time to get in position.

ROGER.

You heard the man, team.

TIME FOR SOME DELAYING TACTICS.

BUT, ACE, WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY MISSILES LEFT.

HOW ARE WE GONNA SLOW THAT THING?

ACE: I still have one missile left.

You drowned the darn thing!

Don't count your money yet. It might be bluffing.

I'M REALLY BEGINNING TO HATE THIS GERM.

GOOD. ACE DELAYED IT LONG ENOUGH FOR US TO GET INTO POSITION.

NOW, THIS IS WHAT I CALL

A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED, HIGH-TECH FOOD FIGHT.

I'M TIRED OF WAITING. WHERE THE HECK IS IT?

COME ON, YOU LOUSY COWARD!

COME OUT AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!

COME ON, THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR WATERLOO,

YOUR ALAMO, YOUR --

Cover Girl: SHIPWRECK!

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] JUST KIDDING, BIG GUY!

SOMETHING'S GOT TO STOP IT.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY ASKING IT FOR A DATE?

WE CAN'T STOP IT! EVERYONE, DIVE FOR THE WATER!

SHIPWRECK, COME ON!

AW, THIS MIGHT BE THE ONE THAT DOES IT!

THIS MIGHT BE THE ONE!

IF YOU LEAVE NOW, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU.

ANCHORS AWEIGH!

WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO OUT?

THE SOONER THE BETTER.

WHAT WILL WE DO?

GO SWIMMING!

THIS IS THE BEST DATE I'VE HAD IN WEEKS!

SkyStrikers.

NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL TIMING.

THE GERM LEFT SOME DISGUSTING STUFF AROUND HERE.

YEAH, REAL DISGUSTING.

WHY, WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?

IT MUST BE A WORM FROM THE GERM.

I GUESS THAT GERM FOUND COBRA

AS HARD TO SWALLOW AS WE DO.

[ LAUGHTER ]