Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

CHECK!

[ LAUGHS ]

CHECKMATE.

I'M BORED.

I WANT TO PLAY A NEW GAME, COCO,

A GAME WHERE REAL PEOPLE FIGHT FOR THEIR LIVES,

WHERE I CAN PLAY BUT CAN'T GET HURT.

LET'S PLAY MY NEW GAME, COCO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

BORING!

IT WILL BE FUN, COCO. JUST WAIT.

FIRST, WE HAVE TO CATCH THEM LIKE BUTTERFLIES --

WHEN THEY THINK THEY ARE SAFE.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

THIS IS FLINT, SECOND IN COMMAND OF THE G.I. JOE TEAM.

HE'S RETURNING HOME FROM A MISSION.

HE SUSPECTS NOTHING.

[ BEEPING ]

THIS IS LADY JAYE.

CLOTHES ARE LIKE CANDY TO HER.

I KNOW JUST WHAT DRESS SHE WILL PICK, COCO.

THAT ONE!

HMM. I THOUGHT SHE'D LIKE THE OTHER ONE.

[ LAUGHS ]

GAMESMASTER LIKES LADY?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER, COCO.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

PUT ME DOWN! GET -- GET -- OPEN THE DOOR!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

THIS IS THE BARONESS,

A BRILLIANT AND RESOURCEFUL COBRA AGENT.

THIS IS COBRA COMMANDER.

HE CRAVES POWER,

BUT WHEN HE FEELS MOST POWERFUL, HE IS MOST VULNERABLE.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

WHAT GRATIFICATION YOU DERIVE

FROM THESE VULGAR PROCESSIONS.

SECURITY FORCES!

IT'S NOT LIKE FLINT AND LADY JAYE

TO BLOW TOWN WITHOUT TELLING US.

I'M WORRIED -- REAL WORRIED.

LET'S JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT. THEY WERE...

KIDNAPPED -- OUR LEADER AND THE BARONESS HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED.

BY WHOM, DESTRO?

PERHAPS BY SOMEBODY WHO WANTS TO BE

THE NEW COBRA LEADER, LIKE YOURSELF?

THAT IS ABSURD.

THERE IS ONLY ONE GROUP WHO WOULD DARE THIS.

COBRA!

BUT THEY'RE NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH IT.

G.I. JOE WILL LEARN A BITTER LESSON.

FIRST, WE MUST LURE ONE OF THEM INTO OUR HANDS, AND THEN...

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ CLOCK TICKING ]

[ CLOCK CHIMES ]

WHAT THE --

WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE NOISE?

W-WHERE AM I?

FLINT, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

[ GRUNTS ]

BUT WHERE ARE WE?

Gamesmaster: GOOD MORNING, PLAYERS.

I AM THE GAMESMASTER.

WELCOME TO MY GAME.

AS THERE ARE NO RULES, IT WILL BE AN EASY GAME TO LEARN.

HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ON THIS ISLAND IS A ONE-MAN HELICOPTER.

THE WINNER IS THE ONE WHO FINDS IT AND FLIES AWAY.

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE LOSERS?

[ GIGGLES ] THEY DIE.

GOOD LUCK...AND HAVE FUN.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!

[ LAUGHS ]

THEY'RE TOYS.

Toy Soldier: READY.

THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT.

AIM.

DO SOMETHING, SOMEBODY!

[ RIFLES CLICK ]

DIVE!

FIRE!

IT'S NOT TOY AMMO. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

[ PANTING ]

WAIT FOR ME!

FIRE!

Gamesmaster: [ GIGGLES ]

I LIKE GAMES THAT BEGIN WITH A BANG!

UGH!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SILENCE!

NO ONE LAUGHS AT ME!

FROM HERE ON, WE GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS.

HEY, FINE BY ME.

Ace to Breaker. I'm on station over Greenland.

Roger. Keep an eye peeled.

We hear Cobra's slithering around somewhere below you.

I'll find them.

SkyStriker AT 4:00.

FIRE!

THIRD SkyStriker THIS MONTH.

DUKE'S NOT GONNA BE PLEASED.

UH-OH.

OKAY, GUYS, I GET THE MESSAGE.

HOW KIND OF YOU TO DROP IN, ACE.

I HAVE NEED OF CERTAIN INFORMATION FROM YOU.

WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS, FLINT?

I DON'T KNOW, LADY JAYE,

BUT [SNIFFS] I SMELL CANDY.

THAT LOOKS LIKE LICORICE ON THAT TREE,

AND MARSHMALLOWS ON THAT ONE.

WE'RE IN A CANDY FOREST.

THAT CAN'T BE REAL.

I THINK IT IS. I TOOK A CARAMEL APPLE.

HMM. THESE LOOK LIKE BONBON BERRIES.

LOOK OUT!

FLINT, HELP!

COBRA!

HOLD IT, BARONESS.

I SAID HOLD IT!

BIGOTED PIG!

YOU'RE GOOD, BARONESS.

BUT I'M BETTER.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I'M SINKING IN CARAMEL!

NOT CARAMEL -- BUTTERSCOTCH!

WHAT DO WE DO NOW, BARONESS?

WE CAN EITHER SAVE THEM, OR WE CAN FIGHT.

THERE'S NO TIME TO DO BOTH.

YOU'LL GET LADY JAYE OUT FIRST.

YOU MIGHT DOUBLE-TEAM ME.

IF I GET THE COMMANDER OUT FIRST,

WE WILL DEFINITELY JUMP YOU.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, BARONESS.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME.

YOU SAVE LADY JAYE. I'LL SAVE COBRA COMMANDER.

UGH! THIS IS DISGUSTING!

[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]

THE COAST IS CLEAR.

Duke: LET'S DO IT.

ALL RIGHT.

SCARLETT REMEMBERED TO PACK BABY.

NO! DON'T SHOOT!

THOSE VIALS ARE FULL OF DEADLY SWAMP FLU!

THEN TALK FAST, OR WE'RE ALL GONNA NEED

BED REST AND PLENTY OF ASPIRIN.

WATCH THIS, COCO!

IT'S A REAL HO-HO.

I'LL LEAD US BACK INTO THE VILLA

TO SURPRISE THE GAMESMASTER.

VERY CLEVER, FLINT. HOW CONSIDERATE OF YOU.

YOU SET OFF THE ALARMS,

AND WE STRAGGLE BEHIND TO GET CAPTURED.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GO FIRST.

AND TURN MY BACK ON YOU?

HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?

HAVE YOU GOT A BETTER IDEA?

YES!

WE FIND THE HELICOPTER, AND I FLY IT TO SAFETY.

I WILL IMMEDIATELY DISPATCH TROOPS TO RESCUE YOU.

OH, EVEN I CANNOT SWALLOW THAT ONE.

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

THE SAME SIDE YOU ARE ON -- MY OWN.

UGH!

LOOK!

[ ROARS ]

RUN FOR IT!

NO! HELP ME!

HELP ME!

FLINT, NO! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!

I'VE GOT TO TRY.

G.I. JOE IS DEDICATED TO SAVING LIVES,

EVEN COBRA COMMANDER'S.

UH-OH. I THINK IT WORKED.

FLINT! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

FLINT!

NO!

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

Gamesmaster: [ LAUGHS ]

ONE DOWN, THREE TO GO!

HE WAS A GOOD FIGHTER, LADY JAYE.

BUT THINK NOT OF SORROW.

THINK OF REVENGE --

REVENGE UPON THAT ACCURSED GAMESMASTER!

[ CRYING ]

Destro: TELL ME WHERE G.I. JOE

HAS TAKEN COBRA COMMANDER AND THE BARONESS,

OR I WILL RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES.

LISTEN UP, CHROME DOME.

WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

SO SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF TROUBLE

AND RETURN FLINT AND LADY JAYE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE JOES YOU KIDNAPPED. REMEMBER?

YOU ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE, ACE.

WHAT IS IT?

DISTRESS CALL FROM SWAMP LAB TWO.

G.I. JOE AGENTS HAVE ZARTAN.

[ LAUGHS ]

LET THEM KEEP HIM AND HIS GERMS.

"WILL EXCHANGE HOSTAGES FOR FLINT AND THE LADY JAYE."

WHAT?!

SON OF A GUN -- YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW.

SAY, I GOT A BETTER IDEA, DUKE.

WHAT IF WE ONLY MAKE ZARTAN SICK?

Duke: I'VE HEARD WORSE.

WHAT ABOUT MY HUMAN RIGHTS?

TALK OR DRINK.

SHOOT ME, ANYTHING.

BUT DON'T GIVE ME THAT.

THEN WHERE ARE FLINT AND LADY JAYE?

PROBABLY WITH COBRA COMMANDER AND THE BARONESS.

GIVE HIM A SWIG.

[ BEEPING ]

GREETINGS, JOE TEAM.

IT SEEMS THAT WE HAVE A PROBLEM IN COMMON.

THE ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE IS YOU.

AND YOU'RE PRETTY COMMON.

INCORRECT.

TWO OF OUR AGENTS AND TWO OF YOURS HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED --

ALL APPARENTLY BY A THIRD PARTY.

NO THIRD PARTY COULD PULL IT OFF.

THERE IS NO OTHER LOGICAL EXPLANATION.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

FIRST, YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOUR COOPERATION.

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON TO TRUST YOU.

COBRA AGENTS, DROP YOUR WEAPONS.

OOH.

THAT'S A GOOD REASON.

ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME THE LOWDOWN.

HELLO, SUCKERS.

HYAH!

RUST IN PEACE.

[ GROANS ]

AN ORGANIZATION OF 10,000 MEN,

AND I'M STUCK IN A JUNGLE.

I CAN'T STAND IT.

LOOK!

THE HELICOPTER!

AH, AT LAST!

I WILL FLY TO THE NEAREST ISLAND

AND SEND HELP WHEN I ARRIVE.

YOU DON'T MEAN YOU'D LEAVE TWO DEFENSELESS WOMEN

TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES?

YES.

YOU UNMANLY PEASANT!

I'LL SETTLE IT. I'LL TAKE THE COPTER.

BETTER YOU THAN HIM.

AAH!

IF THERE'S ONE THING I HATE,

IT IS MOWING THE LAWN.

I HATE LAWN MOWERS!

♪ MOW, MOW, MOW THEM DOWN, CHOP THEM AS THEY RUN ♪

♪ WHIRLILY, WHIRLILY, WHIRLILY, WHIRLILY ♪

♪ I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN

[ CACKLES ]

[ GIGGLES ]

WHAT IS SO FUNNY, COCO?

I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU LAUGH IN SO LONG.

NOW WE'RE PLAYING MY GAME.

TURN IT OFF OR GET HURT.

[ GROWLS ]

UH-OH.

[ GIGGLES ]

YOU CHEAT. YOU CHEAT!

[ GIGGLES ]

AAH!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

LADY JAYE!

[ BEEPING ]

[ GIGGLES ]

UGH!

WHEW!

AAAH!

YOU CHEATED! I'M GONNA TELL ON YOU!

FLINT TO JOE TEAM.

HEY, LISTEN TO THIS, GUYS.

I don't know where I am, so trace this broadcast.

Some guy named the Gamesmaster has managed somehow to --

FLINT, THIS IS BREAKER. COME IN.

AW, IT'S DEAD. BUT I ZEROED IN ON HIS POSITION.

GOOD. ALERT COBRA AND DISPATCH A STRIKE TEAM.

YOU REALLY WANT US TO TELL COBRA?

NO, BUT A DEAL'S A DEAL.

MORE PLAYERS -- YIPPEE!

[ LAUGHS ]

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ACTIVATE THE ISLAND DEFENSES

AND WATCH THE FUN.

[ ALARMS BLARING ]

[ LAUGHS ] WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?

WHOA!

LET'S GIVE THEM A TRIP TO DAVY JONES' LOCKER.

I'M HEADING IN.

EVERY TIME YOU DO THAT, ACE, IT GETS EXPENSIVE.

TIME TO SHUT DOWN THE MISSILE WORKS.

AGREED.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU'RE GOOD.

THE COMPETITION KEEPS US IN SHAPE.

MY WATER-ROCKET DEFENSE IS FINISHED,

MY SHIPS ARE SUNK, AND MY TROOPS ARE IN TROUBLE.

ALL MY TOYS ARE BROKEN, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!

AAAH!

NYAH-NYAH, YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!

LOOK OUT!

PUNISH THEM, PUNISH THEM, PUNISH THEM,

PUNISH THEM, PUNISH THEM,

PUNISH THEM, PUNISH THEM, PUNISH THEM!

NOW, WHERE'S THIS GAMESMASTER CHARACTER?

HE WENT THROUGH THERE.

COME ON!

WHERE IS COBRA COMMANDER?

KNEE-DEEP IN A MARSHMALLOW SWAMP.

IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?

OKAY, LOOK FOR YOURSELF.

[ LAUGHING ]

THERE WILL BE ANOTHER GAME, JOE AND COBRA,

AND NEXT TIME I WILL WIN.

[ LAUGHS ]

Cobra Commander: LOOK AT US!

IT IS A PITY WE COULD NOT COMBINE OUR FORCES.

IMAGINE THE POWER WE COULD HAVE.

YOU THINK SO?

WE ALMOST GOT GREASED BY TOY SOLDIERS.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SARCASM FOR ONE DAY.

GO! GET OUT OF HERE!

OKAY, WE'LL BE GOING.

OH, VERY CLEVER, FLINT. HOW CONSIDERATE OF YOU.

YOU'LL TAKE OFF, THEN CIRCLE BACK

AND DESTROY OUR PLANES ON THE GROUND.

THEN YOU GO FIRST.

AND TURN OUR BACKS TO YOU?

HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?

Lady Jaye: LOOK, HAVE YOU GOT A BETTER IDEA?