Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

OPEN SESAME.

COBRA'S INFORMATION CENTER.

CUT THE CHATTER. IS THIS A COFFEE BREAK OR WHAT?

COME ON.

JACKPOT -- COBRA'S MAIN COMPUTER.

ALL THEIR RECENT TRANSACTIONS WITH DUMMY COMPANIES

ARE STORED HERE.

AND IN JUST ABOUT TWO SECONDS,

-IT'LL ALL BE OURS. [ THUMP ]

OH!

BAZOOKA, CAN'T YOU BE QUIET?

FEET TANGLED.

GOTCHA.

CORRECTION -- WE'VE GOT YOU.

GREAT. THAT WAS THE ONLY DOOR, SHELL BRAIN.

I'LL MAKE ANOTHER.

[ ALARM BLARING ] -[ SNARLING ]

DOOR.

FLINT, WE'RE BRINGING GUESTS!

COVER US!

GROUND FORCES, AIR SUPPORT, MOVE!

ALPINE!

-WHAT? -LOOK, CAVALRY!

YEE-HOO! GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGGIES!

COMING?

NO, I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND GET BURIED IN POPCORN.

Woman: LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT, BREAKER.

STANDARD COBRA PROTECTION SCHEME --

SHOULDN'T BE TOO TOUGH TO CRACK.

LOOKS LIKE A REAL-ESTATE TRANSACTION.

Alpine: REAL ESTATE?

REAL ESTATE'S RIGHT, ALPINE.

ACCORDING TO THIS, WELL,

COBRA BOUGHT A DUDE RANCH IN TEXAS.

WHY A DUDE RANCH?

I'D LOVE TO KNOW.

WHY DON'T YOU GO UNDERCOVER

WITH BAZOOKA, ALPINE, AND WILD BILL?

Wild Bill: YEE-HOO!

WEST TEXAS, HOME, SWEET HOME!

YA-HA-HOW!

YEE-HOO!

SLOW DOWN BEFORE WE TAKE OFF!

CAN'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE WIND IN YOUR HAIR?

NO!

GOSH, ALPINE, COWS...

OIL WELLS.

Lady Jaye: NOT OIL WELLS, BAZOOKA, MICROWAVE ANTENNAS --

PART OF A SOLAR-ENERGY FARM.

THEY RECEIVE MICROWAVE ENERGY

BEAMED FROM AN ORBITING SATELLITE.

THEN THEY RELAY IT VIA THOSE POWER LINES

TO ELECTRIC PLANTS.

SOLAR-POWER BEAMS COMING DOWN HERE?

AIN'T THAT DANGEROUS, LADY JAYE?

NOT IF THE BEAMS ARE CONTROLLED BY THAT MONITORING STATION.

IF NOT?

THEY COULD FRY A CITY.

[ BIRD SQUAWKING ]

[ BOTH COUGHING ]

HOWDY, Y'ALL. WELL, WELCOME TO LOCO TORO.

YOU MUST BE THE AUSTINS.

I'M MA JOAD, THIS HERE IS PA,

AND OVER YONDER IS OUR LITTLE DAUGHTER, MARY BELLE.

NAME'S BILL AUSTIN.

THIS HERE'S MY SISTER, JANE...

MY BROTHERS, BIG BOB AND LITTLE BOB.

-HOWDY. -UH, HOWDY.

WHY DON'T YOU AND I TAKE A LOOK-SEE AROUND THE RANCH,

PRIVATE-LIKE?

WHY, I'D LIKE THAT JUST FINE, MISS JOAD.

OH, PLEASE. CALL ME MARY BELLE, MR. BILL.

"MISS JOAD" SOUNDS SO FORMAL.

THAT TEXAS TEASE. "CALL ME MARY BELLE."

JEZEBEL'S MORE LIKE IT.

YOUR BROTHER'S GOT THE RIGHT IDEA, MISS AUSTIN.

WHY DON'T Y'ALL TAKE A LOOK AROUND?

RUFUS AND CLAY HERE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR BAGS.

SUPPER'S AT 6:00 SHARP.

YOU HAVE YOURSELVES A GOOD TIME, HEAR?

YOU HEARD THE LADY. LOOK AROUND.

I'LL CHECK IN WITH FLINT.

LADY JAYE TO FLINT. WE'RE AT THE RANCH.

IT LOOKS LIKE COBRA BOUGHT IT

AS AN R&R CENTER FOR THE TROOPS,

BUT THERE MAY BE MORE TO THIS THAN MEETS THE EYE.

I WANT HER KEPT UNDER CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE.

UNDERSTAND?

WHY WATCH HER WHEN WE CAN WASTE HER?

WE MUST NOT CAUSE ANY SUSPICION FOR 18 HOURS.

THEN I WILL CONTROL THE SOLAR-POWER SATELLITE.

UNTIL THEN, KEEP LADY JAYE AND HER FRIENDS OCCUPIED

HOWEVER YOU LIKE.

I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING SUITABLE.

WHERE'S WILD BILL?

RIDING THE RANGE WITH THAT TEXAS PEACH, MARY BELLE.

[ LAUGHS ] GOT A CRUSH.

NO, REALLY?

HOWDY, Y'ALL.

MA JOAD TOLD ME TO MAKE SURE YOU FOLKS HAVE A REAL FULL DAY.

Y'ALL WAIT RIGHT HERE

WHILE ME AND THE BOYS SADDLE UP SOME HORSES.

UH, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

[ BULL BRAYING ]

-OW! -OW!

HOLY COW!

BAZOOKA!

Bazooka: ALPINE!

UGH!

[ BULL BRAYING ]

YOU OKAY?

MEAN MEAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, I THINK THOSE BUMS SET US UP.

THIS HERE'S A MIGHTY EDUCATED HORSE, MISS AUSTIN.

MUDPATCH, TELL THE LADY HOW OLD YOU ARE.

HE'S GOT TASTE, TOO.

MUDPATCH, IS THIS A PRETTY LADY?

[ SNORTS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

THANK YOU, MUDPATCH. AND I THINK YOU'RE VERY HANDSOME.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HIM FOR A LITTLE RIDE, MISS?

LET ME GIVE YOU A LEG UP.

[ HORSE NEIGHING ]

THERE YOU GO, MISS. HE'S ALL YOURS!

WHOA! WHOA, BOY, WHOA!

[ WATER SPLASHES ]

YOU HURT?

OOH. JUST MY PRIDE.

EASY, BOY, EASY.

A BURR!

NO WONDER MUDPATCH TOSSED ME.

CALL IT A WILD GUESS, BUT I'D SAY WE WEREN'T WANTED HERE.

AH, TEXAS AIR.

NOTHING LIKE IT IN ALL THE 50 STATES.

[ HOOFBEATS ]

HMM?

MARY BELLE, YOU SEE THAT?

LOOKS LIKE A DUST STORM.

THAT AIN'T NO DUST STORM. THAT'S A STAMPEDE!

IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR THE SOLAR FARM CONTROL BLOCKHOUSE!

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

YEE-HOO!

YEE-HOO!

[ COUGHING ]

ZARTAN'S GOT THE CONTROL CHIP BY NOW.

AND THANKS TO THE STAMPEDE...

NOBODY WILL EVEN KNOW THE CHIP IS GONE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.

OH, NO!

THEY'RE COMING BACK THIS WAY!

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

YOU CRAZY COWBOY, YOU COULD'VE BEEN KILLED!

AW, SHOOT, MA'AM. WASN'T MUCH.

YEE-HOO!

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS!

♪ CHOOSE YOUR PARTNERS AND DON'T BE SHY ♪

♪ THEN FORM YOUR SQUARES AND WINK YOUR EYE ♪

♪ BOW TO YOUR PARTNER AND SWING HIM AROUND ♪

♪ SWING HIM BACK, AND DON'T SIT DOWN ♪

THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT FOR ME.

IT'S NOT FOR THEM, EITHER.

WANT TO FIND OUT WHY?

SURE, ANYTHING TO GET AWAY FROM WILD BILL'S WARBLING.

Wild Bill: ♪ BOW TO YOUR PARTNER, BOW TO YOUR GAL ♪

♪ DO-SI-DO WITH A GREAT BIG SMILE ♪

FOLLOW THE RANCH HANDS. I'LL LOOK IN ON THE JOADS.

BAZOOKA, I DON'T LIKE IT OUT HERE.

DARK.

THAT SHOULD BE BETTER.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

ZARTAN AND THE DREADNOKS!

TROUBLE!

WHERE'S THE LIGHT COMING FROM?

[ DOOR OPENS ]

WITH THE CONTROL CHIP,

COBRA'S DESTRUCTIVE POWER IS EQUAL TO THAT OF THE SUN.

HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING SO SMALL

COULD COMMAND A SATELLITE

ORBITING HUNDREDS OF MILES ABOVE US.

QUITE.

OBSERVE THE POWER THAT IS OURS TO COMMAND.

WE CAN DIRECT THE SOLAR SATELLITE'S MICROWAVE BEAMS

ANYWHERE, JUST AS WITH THIS MODEL.

YOU SEE, I AM THE NEW FIRE DEPARTMENT.

IF THEY DON'T PAY, I START FIRES.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK THEY WILL PAY?

FIRE INSURANCE IS EXPENSIVE, DESTRO.

I WOULD SAY...BILLIONS!

BILLIONS! [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

YOU'RE NOT ONE OF MY PEOPLE.

DESTRO, QUICKLY -- AN INTRUDER!

GOOD. THERE'S JUST ONE JOE LEFT.

Wild Bill: CAN'T RIGHTLY REMEMBER

WHEN I'VE HAD A NICER TIME, MARY BELLE.

LOOK AT THE STARS. THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THE WEST TEXAS SKY.

YEP, THAT'S A MIGHTY PRETTY SIGHT -- REMINDS ME OF HOME.

BUT, UH, BACK HOME I NEVER HAD ME

A PRETTY LADY LIKE YOU, MARY BELLE.

MARY BELLE?

MARY BELLE, WHY DON'T YOU --

BARONESS!

AT YOUR SERVICE...Y'ALL.

WELL, THAT'S VERY PERSUASIVE.

BARONESS!

COBRA COMMANDER SENT ME TO SEE IF YOU NEED ANY HELP.

THAT'S MIGHTY KIND OF YOU, SON!

MIGHTY KIND.

NASA's BEEN GETTING SOME WEIRD TELEMETRY

OFF SOLAR POWER SATELLITE NUMBER ONE.

THEY THINK IT'S TIED IN WITH THAT WEST TEXAS DUDE RANCH

LADY JAYE'S INVESTIGATING.

ANY WORD FROM LADY JAYE, BREAKER?

I TRIED RAISING HER,

BUT THE FREQUENCY IS BEING JAMMED BY --

NOW WHAT?

THIS IS COBRA COMMANDER.

YOU HAVE 12 HOURS TO PAY COBRA

AN INSURANCE PREMIUM OF $1 BILLION IN GOLD BULLION,

OR A CITY WILL BE BURNED.

FOR EVERY HOUR THAT THE PREMIUM PAYMENT IS DELAYED,

AN ADDITIONAL CITY WILL BE ELIMINATED.

AND IF YOU DOUBT COBRA HAS THE POWER

TO CARRY OUT THIS THREAT...

THE DEMONSTRATION THAT I HAVE DEVISED

FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE SHOULD REASSURE YOU.

THAT'S THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE!

WHOA!

12 HOURS! [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

Flint: LET'S CHECK OUT THAT DUDE RANCH ON THE DOUBLE!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

Destro: PERIMETER DEFENSE SENSORS

INDICATE G.I. JOE TROOPS MOVING IN FROM THE NORTHEAST.

LET THEM COME, DESTRO.

NOTHING CAN TOUCH US HERE.

WE HAVE THE WEAPON OF THE CENTURY.

AND NASA DEVELOPED IT FOR US AT THEIR COST!

[ CHUCKLES ]

RECONDO, WHAT'S THE WORD?

ALL CLEAR, FLINT.

MAYBE TOO CLEAR -- NOT A PERSON IN SIGHT.

THEY GOT TO KNOW WE'RE HERE.

LET'S GIVE THEM AN EDUCATION. MOVE OUT!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

YES, JUST A LITTLE CLOSER.

A LITTLE MORE...

NOW!

WHAT THE...

HOW AM I GONNA FIX THAT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHUCKLES ] THINK HE'LL GIVE US A TURN?

GET SERIOUS.

Flint, this is Ace. We're making our run.

COBRA'S GOT SOME KIND OF LASER DEFENSIVE SCREEN!

YOU CAN'T --

ACE TO FLINT,

I SEEM TO HAVE RUN INTO A PROBLEM...LITERALLY!

SCARLETT TO AIR GROUP, PEEL OFF!

REGROUP!

RECONDO! HOW'D YOU GET ACROSS?

THAT LASER BEAM'S GREAT FOR BIG TARGETS, FLINT,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO SOMETHING SMALLER...

YEAH, IT'S LIKE USING AN ELEPHANT GUN TO SWAT FLIES.

GREAT. SO, HOW DO WE GET SMALLER?

WE GO IN ON FOOT.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

DESTROY THEM!

I CAN'T PINPOINT SMALL TARGETS!

COUNTERATTACK!

WE NEED OUR MOBILE HEAVY ARTILLERY.

BUT WE'LL NEVER GET IT PAST THAT BIG SOLAR SATELLITE BEAM.

Wild Bill: YEE-HOO!

-YEE-HOO? -YEE-HOO?

YEE-HOO!

HYAH! HYAH!

[ WHISTLES ]

COME ON, MOVE OUT, NOW! HYAH!

YEE-HOO, LITTLE DOGGY. HYAH!

STAMPEDE!

[ BULLS BRAYING ]

STOP THEM!

WHAT A CRUDE FORM OF WEAPONRY!

NO, DESTRO!

All: YO-O-O, JOE!

WILD BILL!

HOWDY, PARTNERS!

Baroness: LET ME OUT!

Destro: GET OUT OF MY WAY!

PARDON ME, PARTNERS.

THERE'S A LADY I WANT TO TALK WITH!

COME ON OUT, OR I'M COMING IN!

[ MOTOR WHIRRING ]

THAT HAS TO BE THE MOST NEWFANGLED SANITATION SYSTEM

I EVER SAW.

HURRY, YOU FOOLS!

LET'S GET THEM!

[ MOTORS WHIRRING ]

I TOLD YOU THERE WERE HOLES IN THIS PLAN TO BEGIN WITH.

FOILED BY A CATTLE STAMPEDE!

A CATTLE STAMPEDE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

BUT I'LL BE BACK!

WHAT KEPT YOU?

OH, JUST A LITTLE CATTLE STAMPEDE.

AND THAT'S NO BULL!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ OWL HOOTS ]

AH, PRETTY NIGHT --

ALMOST AS PRETTY AS A WEST TEXAS GAL.

[ WHIMPERS ]

AW, HECK, TIMBER.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WEREN'T NO REAL TEXAS PEACH.

SHE WAS JUST TOO SWEET.

ANYONE FROM TEXAS KNOWS WE GROW OUR PEACHES SASSY!

[ LAUGHING ]

[ HOWLS ]