Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

[ TICKING ]

Woman: AIN'T THEY PURTY?

YES. BUT THIS...

IS PRETTIER, ISN'T IT?

LARGE BILLS? GOOD.

I DON'T WANT TO STRAIN MYSELF CARRYING 'EM.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

WHAT ARE THEY, CRAZY OR SOMETHIN'?

WOW. YOU GUYS IS AMAZING!

WORKING FOR YOU IS LIKE GOING TO THE CIRCUS!

ANYWAY, HERE'S THE TRUCK YOU WANTED.

GOOD. LET'S START...

LOADING THE MERCHANDISE.

-WE'LL BE... -OUT FOR A WHILE.

WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

Crimson Guard to Cobra Commander.

Mission accomplished.

-We're coming in. -We're coming in.

Cobra Commander: SO, DESTRO,

IS THE THERMOMOLECULAR IGNITION TRANSMITTER READY?

YES, COMMANDER.

I AM ABOUT TO MAKE THE FIRST TEST.

SUCCESS AT LAST, DESTRO!

BY TOMORROW, THE UNITED STATES SHALL BE OURS!

ALL RIGHT, YOU GOLDBRICKS. PONY UP.

WHO'S GOT THE COURAGE TO STAY AND SEE THESE BEAUTIES?

HMM, NOT ME, UNLESS YOU WANT TO STAKE ME.

YOU GUYS GONNA FOLD OR BE SORRY?

YOU KNOW, LUCK'S LIKE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS.

YOU HIT THE PEAK, AND THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO BUT DOWN.

OH, I'M AT THE PEAK ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M PITCHIN' CAMP.

RIP CORD, YOU IN OR OUT?

I THINK YOU'RE FLYING WITHOUT A CHUTE.

READ 'EM AND WEEP, FELLAS.

I GOT A -- OHH!

YAAAAH!

WHAT THE...

DID ALL YOUR CASH JUST DO THE BIG FLASH?

WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS...

Breaker: I THINK I'VE GOT YOUR MAN.

ATTENTION, CITIZENS!

DUE TO THE FINANCIAL IRRESPONSIBILITY

AND INCOMPETENCE OF YOUR LEADERS,

COBRA HAS FOUND IT NECESSARY

TO RESTRUCTURE YOUR NATION'S ECONOMY.

WE HAVE BEGUN BY ELIMINATING THE WORTHLESS GREEN PAPER

WHICH YOUR GOVERNMENT HAS DECEIVED YOU

INTO BELIEVING IS VALUABLE.

COBRA WILL COME TO YOUR RESCUE.

AND OUT OF THE ASHES WILL ARISE A NEW ORDER!

HENRY!

[ CROWD CHANTING "WE WANT MONEY!" ]

COBRA HAS US EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT US -- HELPLESS.

IN LESS THAN A WEEK,

BUYING AND SELLING HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY RIOTING AND LOOTING.

AND YOU CAN'T RE-ESTABLISH ORDER UNTIL YOU PRINT NEW CURRENCY.

AND YOU CAN'T PRINT NEW CURRENCY

BECAUSE COBRA WILL JUST DESTROY IT.

YEAH, IN SHORT, COBRA'S GOT US BASTING OVER A FIRE.

AND TIME IS ON THEIR SIDE.

WITH EVERY PASSING DAY, THE ECONOMY SINKS DEEPER INTO CHAOS.

SO COBRA COMMANDER JUST HAS TO SIT BACK

AND WAIT FOR THE COUNTRY TO FALL INTO HIS HANDS.

THEN WE HAVE ONE THING GOING FOR US --

HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO WAIT.

HEY, BOSS!

THAT HISSING FOOL'S ON THE TV AGAIN!

CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES,

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE COBRA'S ECONOMIC RECOVERY PLAN.

IF YOU WANT MONEY TO BUY FOOD FOR YOUR CHILDREN,

TAKE ALL YOUR VALUABLES

TO THE NEAREST BRANCH OF EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISES.

THERE, ALL GOODS WILL BE EXCHANGED FOR COBRA CURRENCY.

THAT'S IT! WE'VE GOT OUR LEAD.

LET'S PAY A VISIT TO EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISES.

FLINT, LOOK!

HEY, GET IN LINE!

ARE YOU DEAF?

I SAID GET IN LINE!

[ GRUNTS ]

UNLESS YOU WANT MORE OF THAT, DO LIKE I SAID.

LEAVE HER ALONE!

WE DIDN'T COME HERE TO FIGHT!

WELL, YOU'VE GOT A FIGHT NOW, FLY BOY!

Flint: NO, DON'T FIGHT BACK!

WE WANT TO PREVENT A RIOT, NOT START ONE!

FOLKS, PLEASE! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!

PANIC WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!

YOU STAY PUT, LILY.

OKAY, DAD.

HERE, FELLAS.

I GOT SOMETHING TO TIE UP THEM YAHOOS WITH.

LOOK! IN THE TRUCK!

DADDY, SAVE ME!

Lily: DADDY!

THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!

AAH!

DADDY!

[ SCREAMS ]

THANKS, MISTER.

I AIN'T SEEN ROPING LIKE THAT SINCE THE '66 COUNTY FAIR!

LET 'EM GO! THEY SAVED MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE!

WELL, I GUESS HE'S RIGHT.

THIS MUST BE THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE.

I'VE GOT MY ORDERS!

YOU GOT ORDERS, TOO?

UH, TAKE THE ELEVATOR RIGHT UP TO THE PENTHOUSE!

THEY'RE IN THE ELEVATOR NOW.

ALL RIGHT, STAY BACK!

DO ANY OF YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?

MY TURN.

YOUNG MAN!

Tomax: WOULD YOU MIND?

Xamot: THIS IS A PLACE OF BUSINESS.

PLEASE, MISS HENDERHAUNCH...

IGNORE THIS INTRUSION.

CUT THE ACT, YOU CLOWNS.

WE KNOW YOU'RE WORKING FOR COBRA.

ON THE CONTRARY. WE'RE MERELY ACTING...

AS BROKERS FOR A CLIENT, IN RETURN FOR...

A PERCENTAGE OF THE GROSS.

-WE'VE DONE NOTHING... -ILLEGAL.

-COBRA'S MONEY IS... -AS GOOD AS ANYONE'S.

-IN FACT... -THESE DAYS...

IT'S BETTER.

-AFTER ALL... -THESE ARE TROUBLED TIMES.

I'M GONNA TROUBLE YOUR FACES INTO PASTA!

SORRY ABOUT THIS INTERRUPTION, MADELINE.

WHY DON'T WE CONTINUE OUR TALK ON THE PLANE TOMORROW?

ALL RIGHT. 9:00 SHARP.

BUT NEVER KEEP A HENDERHAUNCH WAITING.

THEY'RE RIGHT.

THEY'RE WITHIN THE LAW.

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

-ARE YOU... -STILL HERE?

-UH, WE WERE HOPING... -YOU'D SHOW US...

BACK TO THE ELEVATOR.

-HMM? -HMM?

I REALLY DON'T SEE WHY AN ESCORT IS NECESSARY.

SORRY, LADY. WE'VE GOT OUR ORDERS.

BOMBS AWAY!

GET LOST!

YOU RUFFIAN!

QUIET! PLEASE, MISS HENDERHAUNCH.

WE'RE REAL SORRY ABOUT THIS, MA'AM.

Flint: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.

Thunder: [ LAUGHS ] WE DID IT!

YEAH. NOW LET'S CHECK ON OUR GUEST.

I HAVE A FEELING MISS HENDERHAUNCH

IS GOING TO BE PERTURBED.

[ LAUGHS ] MARVELOUS.

THIS GENTLEMAN HAS JUST GIVEN ME

THE MOST WONDERFUL RECIPE FOR SOUFFLé.

HEY, MAN, I'M A GOURMET.

Tomax: SOON YOU'LL SEE THAT THERE'S NO SAFER PLACE

FOR YOUR VALUABLES...

THAN WITH OUR ASSOCIATES AT COBRA.

I'M CERTAINLY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR SECURITY,

ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD ME

WHERE WE'RE GOING.

SUCH PRECAUTIONS ARE NECESSARY...

TO DETER POTENTIAL SPIES.

MM, SPIES.

YES, I -- I SUPPOSE.

[ BEEPING ]

Flint: LADY JAYE'S HOMING SIGNAL. LET'S SCRAMBLE.

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

[ Singsongy voice ] YO-O-O, JOE!

Ace: ACE TO FLINT -- TARGET IS DESCENDING!

IN THE ROCKIES? THEY'RE CRAZY!

THEY'RE GONNA CRASH INTO THAT MOUNTAIN!

THE PLANE! IT'S --IT'S GONE!

BUT I DON'T GET ANY CRASH SIGNS ON INFRARED.

Xamot: AS YOU SEE, OUR VAULT...

Tomax: IS COMPLETELY SECURE.

Henderhaunch: HMM, I SHOULD SAY SO.

IN ADDITION TO THE GROUND FORCES...

COBRA POLAR ASSAULT TROOPS ARE IN CONSTANT READINESS.

VERY IMPRESSIVE.

BUT MAY I SEE THE VAULT ITSELF?

OF COURSE. I'LL ESCORT YOU INSIDE...

WHILE I CHECK IN WITH OUR BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.

WE'RE STILL GETTING LADY JAYE'S SIGNAL.

IT'S WEAKER,

BUT IT SEEMS TO BE COMING FROM INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING EVEN STRANGER?

THAT MOUNTAIN'S INVISIBLE ON RADAR.

MAYBE THE COLD CLIMATE'S AFFECTING THE INSTRUMENTS.

OR THAT MOUNTAIN ISN'T THERE.

Tomax: THIS ENTIRE COBRA TEMPLE IS OUR VAULT.

LOOK, THE TREASURE ALREADY, UH, GIVEN OVER TO OUR CARE.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS IS THE LARGEST STOCKPILE

OF TANGIBLE ASSETS EVER ASSEMBLED.

ASTOUNDING.

UH, WHAT'S IN HERE?

OH, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, REALLY.

JUST AN ANCILLARY OPERATION.

I SEE.

WELL, TOUR'S OVER. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

READY TO TRUST OUR BANK?

UH, WHAT'S IN THERE?

WHY, JUST...

LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF BIG RADIO.

WE HAVE TO, UH, KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE NEW YORK OFFICE.

OH, THAT MAKES SENSE.

JUST ONE MORE QUESTION --

DID YOU REALLY EXPECT ANYONE TO SWALLOW SUCH UTTER HOGWASH?

I WONDERED WHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG!

SHE'S A SPY! I'VE GOT HER GUN!

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ME!

HUH. A DOUBLE PLAY!

LADY JAYE'S SIGNAL HAS STOPPED.

SHE MUST BE IN TROUBLE!

KEEP YOUR WEAPONS AT THE READY.

UP THERE!

HEY, WHAT'S THE RACKET?

I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A LOOK?

OHH!

THIS IS ONE TIME I DON'T MIND GETTING THE BOOT.

WE CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER. I'M JUMPING!

AND SPLATTER YOURSELF ON THAT MOUNTAIN?

ONLY IF IT'S REALLY THERE, ACE.

RIP CORD, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

POP YOUR CHUTE!

NOT YET!

MY INSTINCTS SAY THAT MOUNTAIN ISN'T THERE!

PULL THE CORD, YOU MANIAC! THAT MOUNTAIN IS REAL!

YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT, BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW!

YO-O-O, JOE!

Ace: RIP CORD, CAN YOU READ ME?

ACE, THIS IS WILD!

I JUST FELL THROUGH A HOLOGRAM!

FLINT, THIS IS RIP CORD! I'M OVER IT -- SNAKE CITY!

BUT I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP! DO YOU READ?

Flint: THIS IS FLINT, RIP CORD! WE READ YOU!

AND AS FOR HELP, YOU GOT IT!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE OUT!

DESTRO, BARONESS!

THE JOES HAVE FOUND US!

MAN YOUR FLIGHT PODS! LEAD THE ASSAULT FORCES!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING, COMMANDER?

I SHALL BE DIRECTING THE BATTLE FROM A REMOTE LOCATION.

Flint: NOTHING OUT THERE BUT SNOW.

WHERE ARE THEY?

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

YA-HOO!

MUSIC TO MY EARS!

OH, NO!

Tomax: I'LL GO COLLECT HER...

Xamot: IF SHE'S STILL ALIVE.

COME ON, COBRA, MEET YOUR MONGOOSE!

THEY ARE FOLLOWING OUR PLAN PERFECTLY.

MELT THE SNOW, FIREFLY!

UH-OH!

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MY SWIMMING TRUNKS!

CAN YOU MOVE IT?

NO, IT'S UP OVER OUR TRACKS!

Guard: MAKE CERTAIN NO UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL

GET NEAR THE THERMOMOLECULAR IGNITION TRANSMITTER.

HMM. A PITY SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAD TO PERISH.

YOUR VICTIMS ALL HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON --

LONGEVITY!

I'M ALWAYS WILLING TO COMPETE IN A CONTEST OF STRENGTH,

ESPECIALLY WITH ONE SO OBVIOUSLY INFERIOR.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY...

ABOUT INTELLIGENCE!

NOTHING BUT MUD!

HERE, GIVE ME A HAND!

EVERYONE ALL RIGHT?

JUST A WEE BIT WATERLOGGED!

ROADBLOCK, LOOK OUT!

SURRENDER!

WE HAVE YOU, G.I. JOE!

OUR REMOTE-CONTROLLED ASPS WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU!

Flint: OH, YEAH? WELL, HERE'S MUD IN YOUR EYE!

IT'S NOT OVER YET, MY DEAR.

THERE ARE TWO OF US, REMEMBER?

XAMOT! WHAT HIT YOU?

I'M COMING, XAMOT! HOLD ON!

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU AND I STILL HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE.

BOY, THAT'S WHAT I CALL TELEGRAPHING YOUR PUNCHES.

ENOUGH! I GIVE UP!

I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH HIM!

TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.

G.I. JOE!

WELL, TIME FOR BYE-BYE, JOE!

CAN'T HOLD OUT MUCH LONGER, ROADBLOCK.

AW, RELAX.

THIS CAN'T GO ON FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE WEEKS!

5...4...3...2...1.

PENNIES FROM HEAVEN?

Baroness: GREEDY FOOLS, FORGET THE MONEY!

IT'S ONLY A GOLD-PLATED BATTLE COBRA POLYMER ALLOY!

IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD IF THE JOES DEFEAT US!

Roadblock: QUICK, WHILE THEY'RE DISTRACTED!

KNOCK OUT THOSE ASPS!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

GREEDY FOOLS! BAH!

[ ROADBLOCK LAUGHS ]

WHAT SAY WE DEPOSIT THESE TURKEYS

FOR A LONG TERM IN THE BANK OF SING SING?

FLINT, THE CRIMSON GUARD COMMANDERS ARE GONE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, LADY JAYE.

PERSONALLY, I WAS GETTING SICK OF SEEING DOUBLE ANYWAY.

WELL, NOW THAT WE'VE GOT SOME MONEY BACK ON THE TABLE,

LET'S FINISH THIS GAME.

ALL RIGHT, JUST SHOVE IT OVER HERE.

I'VE GOT A FLUSH.

BY THE WAY, I'VE BEEN DYING TO FIND OUT,

RIP CORD, OLD BUDDY.

YOU NEVER FINISHED TELLING US

HOW YOU GOT PAST THAT POLAR TROOPER.

NO BIG DEAL. TIED HIS SHOELACES TOGETHER.

WHEN HE WENT FOR ME, HE FELL FLAT ON HIS FACE.

JUST LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO, "OLD BUDDY."

I'VE GOT A FULL HOUSE, AND YOU'VE GOT AN EMPTY WALLET!

TERRIFIC.

JUST LIKE COBRA -- YOU GOT MONEY TO BURN.

[ LAUGHTER ]