Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

Dr. Hibbentrope: THERE, THERE. CLOSER.

BACK A BIT.

OH, BLAST IT!

WHERE DID YOU GO, YOU LITTLE MICROBE?

WAIT! AH, THERE YOU ARE.

AMAZING!

SIMPLY AMAZING.

Zartan: DOCTOR HIBBENTROPE?

YES, YES? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

THE SIGN ON THE DOOR SAYS, "DO NOT ENTER."

NOW, DOCTOR, I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE BUSY,

BUT I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.

[ COUGHS ]

SLEEP TIGHT, MY GOOD DOCTOR.

NO ONE WILL BOTHER YOU NOW.

[ LAUGHS ]

A BOTANIST, A BIOLOGIST, TWO ASTRONOMERS, A GEOLOGIST.

WHY IS COBRA KIDNAPPING ALL OF THESE SCIENTISTS?

MAYBE THEY'RE JUST COLLECTING SCIENTISTS, LIKE, UM...

BASEBALL CARDS.

Flint: MAYBE. ANYONE CARE TO GUESS WHAT COBRA'S GONNA DO

WHEN THEY COMPLETE THEIR SET?

SOMETHING'S COMING IN.

IF IT'S COBRA, TRACE IT, BREAKER.

GREETINGS, JOE TEAM.

YOU NO DOUBT KNOW WHAT I HAVE CHOSEN TO SPEAK WITH YOU ABOUT.

GET ON WITH IT, COBRA COMMANDER.

I WILL BE TERSE, FLINT.

IF I DO NOT RECEIVE $60 BILLION

YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE SCIENTISTS AGAIN.

KIDNAPPING? YOU'VE HIT A NEW LOW, COMMANDER.

WHERE DO YOU EXPECT US TO GET $60 BILLION?

RELAX, GUYS.

WE'LL JUST PUT IT ON MY CREDIT CARD.

I NEVER LEAVE HOME WI--

ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS!

LEST YOU THINK I AM NOT SERIOUS, WATCH THIS!

PLEASE, G.I. JOE, DO SOMETHING!

YOU MUST HELP ME! YOU MUST!

JOES, YOU HAVE ONE DAY TO COME UP WITH THE MONEY OR...

[ HISSES ]

I TRACED THE TRANSMISSION.

IT'S COMING FROM SOUTH AMERICA.

IT'S TOO EASY.

I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

YEAH. IT'S TOO PAT.

I AGREE.

WE NEED VOLUNTEERS FOR OUR STRIKE TEAM.

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

[ COBRA COMMANDER LAUGHS ]

G.I. JOE IS DOOMED, THANKS TO YOU, MY DEAR HIBBENTROPE.

YOU KNOW, THERE WILL BE AN EXTRA CHARGE

FOR MY ACTING SERVICES.

Baroness: YOU VENAL MERCENARY.

YOUR ACTING COULDN'T GET YOU ONTO A SOAP OPERA.

SILENCE!

HIS STUNNING PERFORMANCE IS WELL WORTH THE MONEY.

IT WILL BUY ME THE GREATEST LUXURY THERE IS --

REVENGE.

[ LAUGHS ]

Ace: STAY LOW TO KEEP UNDER COBRA RADAR.

THE BASE IS COMING UP FAST.

THERE IT IS!

LET'S TELL OUR FRIENDS WE'RE HERE!

Wild Bill: WHOO-HEE!

THIS IS JUST LIKE CLEANING A STABLE BACK HOME!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

I'VE BEEN ITCHIN' FOR A GOOD FIGHT ALL DAY!

ITCHING? OH, BOY!

[ GROANS ]

BAZOOKA, WE NEED SOME SUPPORT HERE!

YOU GOT IT! OOP!

COME ON! THEY'RE FALLING BACK!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

I DON'T LIKE TO FIGHT UNARMED SOLDIERS,

SO HERE -- TAKE MY GUN!

GET OFF MY BACK!

[ GRUNTS ]

AND STAY OFF IT!

Dusty: I USUALLY DON'T DROP IN UNEXPECTEDLY...

[ GRUNTS ]

BUT THIS TIME, I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION.

Bazooka: DARN IT, SWALLOWED MY GUM.

NOW I'M MAD!

ONE! TWO! THREE!

OH, MY TRIGGER FINGER.

WHAT A BUNCH OF WIMPS.

WE OUGHT TO GET HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER.

DON'T COUNT ON IT. THIS WAS JUST THE HORS D'OEUVRE.

THE MAIN COURSE WON'T BE SERVED

TILL WE VISIT THOSE SNAKES INSIDE THEIR TEMPLE.

AND FIND THOSE SCIENTISTS.

ZAP, YOU GOT A KEY?

YEAH, AND IT'LL FIT PERFECTLY.

HOO-HOO!

NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD KABOOM

TO OPEN UP CLOSED DOORS, HUH, FLINT?

YEAH. I'M GLAD YOU LEFT SOME BUILDING TO ENTER.

ZAP, WAIT OUT HERE FOR GUNG-HO AND THE SUPPORT TEAM.

THE REST OF YOU, COME WITH ME.

DO YOU GET THE FEELING THAT NO ONE'S HOME?

YOU COULD BE R-- WAIT A SECOND.

I DON'T LIKE THIS. THIS IS A TRAP.

HEY! MY GUN!

MAGNETIC FIELD!

IT'S A TRAP!

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

WELCOME TO MY FUNHOUSE! [ LAUGHS ]

YES, WELCOME TO MY FUNHOUSE!

STUFF IT, SNAKE FACE!

DESPITE YOUR RUDENESS, I OFFER YOU A SPORTING CHANCE.

THREE DOORS, THREE CHOICES.

TWO OF THEM LEAD TO DEAD ENDS.

WHAT ABOUT THE THIRD ONE?

IT LEADS YOU TO ME.

THEN ALL THE DOORS ARE LOSERS.

YOU ARE BEGINNING TO TRY MY PATIENCE!

BEFORE I FORGET, I FEEL OBLIGED TO TELL YOU

THAT THIS ENTIRE ISLAND IS A BOMB,

AND THE ONLY WAY TO DISARM IT IS HERE IN THE CONTROL BOOTH.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU SAVE US SOME TROUBLE

AND DISARM IT YOURSELF?

AND RUIN MY FUN? SURELY YOU JEST.

TAKE NO CHANCES, COMMANDER.

DESTROY THEM NOW!

[ LAUGHS ] LET HIM TAKE AS LONG AS HE LIKES.

I AM PAID BY THE HOUR.

LOOK, OUR BEST CHANCE TO GET THROUGH THIS IS TO SPLIT UP.

DUSTY, AIRTIGHT, YOU TAKE THE DOOR ON THE LEFT.

ALPINE, BAZOOKA, YOU GET THE ONE ON THE RIGHT.

LADY JAYE AND I WILL GO FOR THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE.

IT'S EMPTY. MAYBE WE PICKED THE RIGHT CORRIDOR.

IF THERE IS A RIGHT CORRIDOR.

WHAT THE HEY?

WHAT IS THIS, NEW YEAR'S EVE?

YEAH, IT'S PARTY TIME!

WELL, I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS AN AIR HEAD.

DON'T BREAK THAT BALLOON!

[ COUGHING ]

STAY BACK!

WHAT'S WRONG? I'M JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU.

GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SNAKE!

SNAKE? WHAT THE HECK'S HAPPENING TO YOU, BUDDY?

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

THE GAS FROM THE BALLOON HAS YOU HALLUCINATING.

[ SCREAMS ]

TRUST ME.

I DIDN'T BREATHE IT, SO I'M NOT AFFECTED.

LIES! YOU'VE HAD IT, SNAKE!

AAAAAAAH!

I HATE TO DO THIS, BUT...

SLEEP TIGHT, OLD PAL.

I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU AFTER I KICK SOME SNAKE BUTT.

HOW COME FLINT ALWAYS PICKS LADY JAYE TO GO WITH HIM

AND I ALWAYS GET YOU?

WHOA! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

[ LAUGHS ] FUNNY.

"FUNNY" ISN'T THE WORD FOR IT.

WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, TO THE COBRA EXPRESS.

STEP ABOARD, MY GOOD FRIENDS. STEP ABOARD.

YOU'RE IN FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE.

AFTER YOU.

THANKS.

[ BELL RINGS ]

COME ON, ZAP. HURRY IT UP, WILL YOU?

WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!

THESE AREN'T FIRECRACKERS.

WHEE!

Cobra Commander: THE GOOD PART IS JUST BEGINNING.

OVER ALREADY?

Alpine: YEAH, WE'RE IN A SHOOTING GALLERY!

SITTING DUCKS!

THAT'S THE LAST TIME I EVER LISTEN TO YOU!

OH, NO!

YOU STUPID BOZO. WHAT'D YOU LET YOURSELF GET HIT FOR?

ALL RIGHT, COMMANDER! THIS ISN'T A GAME ANYMORE!

I'M PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS!

WHOA!

WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS A CLOWN.

THIS GUY IS DEFINITELY NOT PLAYING

WITH A FULL DECK OF CARDS!

OKAY, SO YOU GOT A NEW WEAPON!

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN!

WHOA! THIS IS SERIOUS!

TIME TO MAKE LIKE A FAST BALL!

SAFE AT SECOND!

UH-OH. THIS ISN'T MY DAY.

WHOA!

THIS GUY WANTS TO THROW ME OUT AT THE PLATE!

[ LAUGHS ] YOU SEE, BARONESS?

THEY AREN'T SO TOUGH AFTER ALL.

OOPS! WHAT?! OOF!

MAN, THIS FLOOR'S LIKE GLASS,

AND THIS DUCT COULD USE SOME LIGHT!

WHAT IS THIS, THE PRO BOWLER'S TOUR?

TALK ABOUT INFLATED EGOS!

11!

I GOT 11!

THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN A STRIKE!

NOW THERE ARE ONLY TWO JOES LEFT.

WHAT ABOUT THE JOES OUTSIDE THE DOOR?

THEY DON'T MATTER.

THEY'LL NEVER GET THROUGH IN TIME TO SAVE THEIR COMRADES.

Zap: IT'S READY TO BLOW. EVERYBODY HIT THE DECK!

IT'S STILL THERE!

I'LL USE A LITTLE MORE GREASE.

NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING, BUT SO FAR, THIS HAS BEEN A BREEZE.

THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME.

WHAT'S THAT? [ METAL CREAKING ]

SOUNDS LIKE... MARCHING TIN CANS.

AND THEY'RE UGLY, TOO.

LET'S STOMP ON 'EM.

HYAH!

I CAN'T GET A CLEAR SHOT AT YOURS!

GOOD SHOOTING!

LADY JAYE!

HYAH!

LADY JAYE, YOU ALL RIGHT?

I CAN'T GET A PULSE.

LADY JAYE!

Cobra Commander: SO, FLINT.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT.

LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

WHAT'S THE HURRY? THE COMMANDER IS HAVING FUN.

I FORGOT. YOU'RE PAID BY THE HOUR.

SILENCE!

I WANT TO WATCH HIM SQUIRM!

GET UP, YOU BLUNDERING BUNCH OF IDIOTS,

OR I'LL SEND YOU ALL TO THE SCRAP-IRON HEAP!

LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR A GAME OF HIDE-AND-SEEK.

GO AFTER HIM!

DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

THREE DOWN, THREE LEFT, COMMANDER.

DESTROY HIM!

YOUR ROBOTS ARE LOUSY SHOTS, COMMANDER!

DID YOU PROGRAM 'EM YOURSELF?

COME ON, COMMANDER!

YOU TRY AND GET ME!

NEVER MIND. I'LL COME AND GET YOU!

AS YOU WISH.

NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY, ZARTAN?

WATCH YOUR TONGUE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE IT!

HOWEVER, SHE MIGHT HAVE A POINT, COMMANDER.

IT'S TIME TO DEPART WHEN I SAY IT'S TIME!

IF THIS DOESN'T DO IT, I'M GOING BACK TO SELLING INSURANCE.

LET'S GO!

YO-O-O, JOE!

THE GAME IS OVER, COBRA COMMANDER.

MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF AND SURRENDER!

SURRENDER? NEVER!

YOUR FRIENDS WILL NOT FIND YOU IN TIME!

THESE GUYS ARE GETTING OLD, COMMANDER.

NOW THAT THEY HAVE HIS ATTENTION,

IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO OUR RESOURCEFUL FRIEND!

[ LAUGHS ]

NICE SHOOTING, COMMANDER!

I AM SICK OF YOU, FLINT.

IN MOMENTS,

YOU WILL BE CONVERTED TO SUBATOMIC PARTICLES.

THE BOMB IS NOW ACTIVATED!

YOU SEE, BARONESS?

VICTORY HAS BEEN AT OUR FINGERTIPS ALL ALONG.

PERHAPS, BUT WE HAVE WASTED TIME!

SILENCE!

TIME IS RUNNING OUT, COMMANDER!

[ ALARM BLARES ]

I THINK WE MUST BE GOING.

IN ONLY A MATTER OF MOMENTS,

I WILL BE RID OF G.I. JOE FOREVER!

[ LAUGHS ]

LADY JAYE: Flint?

Flint!

FLINT: I'm in the control room.

The whole place is about to blow,

and I can't disarm the bomb.

ISN'T THERE A SCRUB SWITCH?

THERE'S A SWITCH, BUT IT ISN'T MARKED.

Flip it!

IT'S A RESET SWITCH!

Attention, all Joes! Move it!

We've got three minutes to get out of here!

YOU HEARD THE MAN! MOVE!

Computer: SELF-DESTRUCT!

I HOPE YOU'RE LIGHT, PAL.

Alpine: COME ON, PAL.

IT'S FOURTH QUARTER, TWO SECONDS,

AND WE'VE GOT 99 YARDS TO GO!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING...

BUT ANYWHERE'S AN IMPROVEMENT.

NEXT STOP, OUTDOORS!

HEAD FOR THE SkyStrikers!

FLINT'S NEVER GONNA MAKE IT.

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

FLINT, NO!

JOE TEAM, THIS IS FLINT!

OUR WORK ISN'T DONE YET!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

YOU SEE? YOU SEE?!

I NEVER DOUBTED YOUR PLAN FOR A MOMENT,

UNLIKE THE BARONESS.

QUIET, MERCENARY!

I NOW POSSESS THE WORLD'S GREATEST SCIENTIFIC MINDS.

THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THE POWER I WILL POSSESS.

NOTHING CAN STOP COBRA NOW!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ GASPS ]

THIS CAN'T BE!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

FLINT TO GROUP -- FOLLOW ME IN!

AND GOOD HUNTING!

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE THE JOES CRACK OUR DEFENSES.

MAY I SUGGEST A SWIFT DEPARTURE

WHILE OUR NECKS ARE STILL INTACT?

THAT, BARONESS, IS A SENSIBLE SUGGESTION.

ZARTAN, PREPARE THE RATTLERS FOR IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE.

ZARTAN?

READY YOUR OWN!

WE'RE GETTING TO 'EM, BOYS!

LET'S HIT 'EM WITH THE OLD ONE-TWO!

TIME TO CLEAN UP, FOLKS!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

Alpine: UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE TURNED INTO SNAKE SANDWICHES,

YOU BETTER DROP THOSE WEAPONS.

[ GROANS ] I WILL HAVE REVENGE!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL!

BUT HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FIND US?

COBRA COMMANDER INTENDED TO USE YOU AS BAIT

IN A TRAP HE WAS SETTING FOR US.

WE WERE SUSPICIOUS, SO WE PUT WILD BILL ON THE LOOKOUT

FOR ANY PLANES THAT LEFT THE ISLAND.

SURE ENOUGH, COBRA COMMANDER FLEW THE COOP,

AND WE FOLLOWED HIM RIGHT TO THE REAL FORTRESS.

FLINT SURE LIKES TO TALK A LOT, DOESN'T HE?

WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID?

UH, WE WERE JUST DISCUSSING WHETHER...

SO, DOES SOMEONE HERE WANT TO TAKE ME FOR A STROLL

ON A MOONLIT BEACH?

SURE!

HEY!

PLEASE EXCUSE MY FRIEND HERE. I'LL TAKE YOU.

YOU DO AND YOU'LL BE SCRUBBING BATHROOMS FOR A WEEK.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HER, BAZOOKA?

-[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] -NO WAY.

YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO KEEP A GIRL SINGLE.

THAT'S RIGHT. SHE SEES RIGHT THROUGH ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]