Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

USING TREACHERY, COBRA CAPTURES SPACE STATION DELTA

AND SUCCESSFULLY PLANTS THE FOUR CONTROL CUBES

THEREBY COMPLETING THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS,

BENEATH WHICH NO SOURCE OF ELECTRICAL ENERGY CAN FUNCTION.

XAMOT FREES HIS BROTHER, TOMAX,

AND THE CRIMSON TWINS OVERTHROW THE COBRA COMMANDER,

ORDERING THE DREADNOKS

TO WREST CONTROL OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE FROM ZARTAN.

MEANWHILE, SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK

RACE BACK TO JOE HEADQUARTERS

WITH THE SECRET OF THE CONTROL CUBES.

AND QUICK KICK, ALPINE, AND BAZOOKA PLUMMET TO THEIR DEATHS

AS WE BEGIN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."

[ Strained ] "G" FORCES! TOO HARD TO MOVE!

BAZOOKA!

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

[ GRUNTS ]

GREAT STUNT WORK, STUNTMAN.

WE'RE GOING DOWN! ANY IDEAS?

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

DID YOU NOTICE WHAT THE CARGO ON THIS CRATE IS?

TRUBBLE BUBBLES!

JOE HEADQUARTERS! LET'S MOVE IT!

Gung-Ho: NUTS!

YOU CAN'T RUN A 20th-CENTURY H.Q. ON 1st-CENTURY TECHNOLOGY!

THIS IS HOPELESS!

WITHOUT THE JUICE, IT'S NO USE.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] -HUH?

CITIZENS OF EARTH,

WE HAVE DIMINISHED THE PYRAMID'S POWER ENOUGH TO ADDRESS YOU NOW.

AH, STICK YOUR HEAD IN A BUCKET AND RUST YOUR FACE OFF!

AND HERE TO PRESENT OUR ULTIMATUM,

YOUR NEW SUPREME LEADERS, THE CRIMSON TWINS.

ALL GOVERNMENTS MUST SURRENDER TO US...

AND COBRA BY THE END OF THE DAY...

OR WE SHALL INTENSIFY THE STRENGTH

OF THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS.

LOOKS LIKE COBRA COMMANDER'S

HAVING A LITTLE POWER FAILURE OF HIS OWN.

WE'VE GOT LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS.

[ COWBELL RINGS ] -WHAT'S THAT NOISE?

SOUNDS LIKE MY PAPPY'S RANCH AT FEEDING TIME.

OPEN THE DOOR AND GIVE OUR VISITORS THE FAMOUS JOE WELCOME.

[ POLLY SQUAWKS ]

WE'RE SAVED, GUYS!

IT'S THE COW CAVALRY!

-HEY, SHIPWRECK! -SHIPWRECK!

WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE FOR!

IF YOU HAD TO PLAY COWBOYS AND COBRAS,

COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE IT ON HORSES?

VERY HILARIOUS,

BUT WHEN WE HIT THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS, WE HAD TO IMPROVISE.

DO US A FAVOR, WILD BILL --

MILK OUR PONIES AND BRING US A GLASS.

HUH?

I'LL GET YOU BOTH A DRINK

IF YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR US.

WE GOT A LASERDISC FROM A COBRA FACTORY.

AND HOW DO YOU PLAY A LASERDISC WITH CANDLE POWER?

Tomax and Xamot: ALL LIFE-FORMS WILL PERISH.

YOU HAVE ONLY UNTIL THE END OF THIS DAY TO RESPOND.

[ LAUGHS ] BRAVO! BRAVO!

IT'S EVEN BETTER IN RERUN.

WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN?

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES.

YOU DON'T SEEM SO CONFIDENT WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS WHISTLE.

TAKE HIM AWAY!

DUSTY, WE'VE GOT TO GET CONTROL OF THESE FATAL FLUFFIES.

NO TALKING!

[ GRUNTS ]

Torch: WELL, WELL.

LYING DOWN ON THE JOB AGAIN, ARE YOU?

GET BACK IN LINE!

THE WHISTLE THAT CONTROLS THE FATAL FLUFFIES --

TORCH HAS IT AROUND HIS NECK.

SEE THAT WHISTLE, JUNKYARD?

GO FETCH IT!

HUH? NO!

[ SCREAMS ]

GOOD BOY, JUNK!

GET THAT WHISTLE!

PRISONERS, CLEAR THE AREA!

STEP ASIDE.

MOVE! MOVE OR BE PUNISHED!

THE FATAL FLUFFIES ARE GOING CRAZY!

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ FATAL FLUFFIES GROAN ]

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

DON'T HURT US! IT WAS ALL ZARTAN'S FAULT!

WE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO YOU, WASN'T WE?

Duke: WAY TO GO, GUYS.

NOW LET'S PUT SOME "YO" BACK IN "JOE!"

Dusty: YO-O-O, JOE!

Quick Kick: I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA LOVE THIS PART OF THE PICTURE.

Alpine: WE'RE LOSING POWER!

GET READY TO JUMP!

IT'S NOT THE JUMPING THAT WORRIES ME.

IT'S THE...LANDING.

HEY, I DISTINCTLY HEAR THE GENTLE SOUND

OF THE TABLES TURNING.

YEAH! LET THE SUNSHINE IN!

Cobra Commander: CALAMITY MOST FOUL!

AAAAAAAH!

NO! NO! NO!

YOUR SELFISH BUNGLING HAS PERMITTED THE JOES

TO UNDO MY EXQUISITE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS!

YOU TWIN TWERPS!

I'M BACK IN COMMAND NOW.

COME IN, DESTRO, COME IN!

STOP THAT, DESTRO!

I SEE YOU BOTH CLEARLY, AND I AM STUNNED!

SHE, UH, SHE HAD SOMETHING IN HER EYE, COBRA COMMANDER.

MY EYE, SHE DID!

NOW STOP GOING GA-GA

AND ESTABLISH A LOW-ALTITUDE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS AT ONCE!

AS YOU ORDER, LEADER.

COBRA!

EXCELLENCY, WE MUST ALSO TAKE PRECAUTIONS

TO GUARD COBRA TEMPLE...

-FROM A SNEAK ATTACK. -...FROM A SNEAK ATTACK.

BALDERDASH!

THIS TEMPLE IS IN NO DANGER,

BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHERE IT IS.

NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!

Flint: WE'VE GOT TO TREAT THIS AS A TEMPORARY VICTORY ONLY,

UNLESS YOU GUYS AT HEADQUARTERS

HAVE SOMETHING TO MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE PERMANENT.

THIS LASERDISC SNAKE EYES AND I BORROWED FROM COBRA

HAS INFO ON THE CONTROL CUBES.

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT POWER, I CAN SPIN THIS PLATTER.

LET'S HOPE IT'S A HIT.

I'LL PATCH THE COMPUTER'S IMAGE DIRECTLY TO YOU, FLINT.

Computer: PLANS AND STRUCTURAL ELEVATIONS

OF ROBOTIC SELF-DEFENSE MECHANISMS.

DETAILS OF LONGITUDINAL ALIGNMENTS SYSTEMS.

SKIP PAST THE GENERAL DIAGRAMS.

WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW IS WHETHER THOSE CUBES ARE VULNERABLE.

YOU GOT IT, LADY.

[ Sped-up ] SECTIONAL REINFORCEMENT.

ARMED GUSSET WELL. TRANSPOSED BRIDGE CIRCUITRY.

SELF-DESTRUCT RELAY TRANSMITTTER.

SELF-DESTRUCT MECHANISM?

SELF-DESTRUCT MECHANISM.

BINGO! IT'S IN COBRA TEMPLE.

NOW ALL WE'VE GOT TO DO IS FIND THAT HOUSE OF SERPENTS

BEFORE IT'S TOO...LATE.

Flint: ADMIRAL LEDGER, COBRA'S REBUILT THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS.

[ DESTRO LAUGHS ]

THIS LOW-ALTITUDE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS

WILL GIVE US THE TIME WE NEED TO DESTROY G.I. JOE.

[ LAUGHS ]

EXCELLENT, DESTRO.

[ LAUGHS ]

THEN WE SHALL WIN AFTER ALL!

THE WORLD WILL BE OURS!

[ LAUGHS ]

Quick Kick: HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Alpine: HEADQUARTERS! BAIL OUT!

TOO LATE!

HOLD ON!

A COBRA COPTER?!

SORRY TO DROP IN UNANNOUNCED,

BUT WE JUST HAPPENED TO FALL BY THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

WELL, DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE, ALPINE.

WHY'D YOU TREAT US TO THIS OPEN HOUSE,

AND WHO'S THE BAREFOOT STRANGER?

INTRODUCING STAR OF STAGE, SCREEN,

AND A REGULAR ON "THE GONG SHOW"...

[ LAUGHS ]

QUICK KICK, STUNTMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE.

LET ME GIVE 'EM A QUICK UPDATE.

[ Quickly ] I MET THESE TWO GUYS ON THE MOUNTAIN OF GLASS.

THEY WERE IN REAL HOT WATER OUT THERE IN THE COLD,

BUT I SHOOED AWAY SOME LEOPARD SEALS,

AND WE HITCHED A RIDE WITH MAJOR BLUDD TO COBRA TEMPLE

UNDER THE FALLS, BUT WE --

HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

UH, REWIND THAT PART ABOUT THE COBRA TEMPLE.

[ IMITATING TAPE REWINDING ]

I SAID, MAJOR BLUDD GAVE US A RIDE TO COBRA TEMPLE, BUT WE --

YOU KNOW WHERE COBRA TEMPLE IS?

SURE. DOESN'T EVERYBODY?

THIS IS THE INFO WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

THE DARKNESS ISN'T HOLDING.

THEN GET ON THE HORN AND SEE IF YOU CAN CONTACT FLINT.

THERE'S A CRACK IN THE COBRA CURTAIN,

AND WE'RE GOING THROUGH.

LET'S MOVE OUT!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

LET'S GO!

Cobra Commander: STABILIZE THE PYRAMID!

WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG, DESTRO?

THIS FLICKERING IS INTOLERABLE!

G.I. JOE MUST BE DENIED ACCESS TO ENERGY

UNTIL WE CAN LAUNCH OUR ATTACK!

COME ON!

WE'VE GOT JUST ENOUGH POWER!

KEEP MOVING!

COBRA SOLDIERS, FORWARD TO VICTORY!

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

IMPOSSIBLE.

WE'LL BE OUT OF THIS DARKNESS IN A FLASH!

THEN, HAMMER THROUGH THAT TEMPLE

AND PUT THOSE CUBES OUT OF ACTION!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

G.I. JOE? BUT HOW?

TAKE DEFENSIVE POSITIONS AND FIGHT THE ENEMY TO OBLIVION!

UNLEASH THE COBRA DRAGON!

TERMINATE THE JOES!

HEAT STROKE...

NO STRENGTH!

GOT TO FIGHT...

FIGHT...GOT TO...

[ GROANS ]

[ COBRA COMMANDER LAUGHS ]

WE'VE WON, WON, WON!

[ LAUGHS ]

WAIT UNTIL THE COBRA DRAGON IS FINISHED WITH THEM.

THEN CLEAN UP THE MESS.

I'LL BE INSIDE WRITING MY VICTORY SPEECH.

[ LAUGHS ]

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

YODEL?

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDIN'!

WAIT! I GOT AN IDEA!

NOW YODEL.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

COME ON, LET'S TRY IT.

[ YODELING TOGETHER ]

♪ OH, YEAH

LOOK OUT!

ALPINE AND HIS YODELING YOKELS DID IT!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

-LET'S GO! -COME ON!

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

STAND AND FIGHT, YOU COWARDS!

WE'RE BANKRUPT HERE!

BUT ELSEWHERE WE HAVE PREPARED

A FINAL SURPRISE FOR THE JOES!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SURPRISE"?

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO KNOW?!

WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE SELF-DESTRUCT MECHANISM

FOR THOSE CUBES!

BUT WHERE IS IT?

[ SQUAWKS ] POLLY PULL.

[ ALARM BLARES ]

POLLY, YOUR ALLOWANCE JUST WENT UP 10 CRACKERS A WEEK!

Baroness: SOMETHING IS HAPPENING!

BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, BARONESS!

DON'T BECOME HOSTILE WITH ME!

WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP!

SILENCE, WOMAN!

I'M LOSING PYRAMID CONTROL!

AAH!

IT'S SELF-DESTRUCTING!

I'VE LOST MY CUBES!

MY WONDERFUL CUBES, ALL GONE!

[ SOBS ]

NOW I'LL NEVER RULE THE WORLD!

I HATE THIS JOB!

SENSORS INDICATE G.I. JOE IS PURSUING US.

BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

-ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE! -ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE!

WELL, SOMEBODY FORGOT TO TELL THEM!

Admiral Ledger: READY ON FLIGHT DECK?

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

WE MUST GET...

TO THE ENTERPRISE TOWERS!

YES, HURRY!

WHOA!

LOOKS LIKE COBRA'S HUNTING FOR A NEST, LADY JAYE.

LET'S MAKE SURE THEY DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE.

Lady Jaye: I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

YO-O-O, JOE!

ALL ATTACK GROUPS, THIS IS JOE LEADER.

PROCEED TO THE ENTERPRISE TOWERS.

Cobra Commander: STOP!

OUR POSITION IS DETERIORATING!

WILL YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME?

WE MUST FLEE AND SAVE OURSELVES!

RELAX.

WE NEED NOT RETREAT.

WE SHALL SOON ACTIVATE A WEAPON WHICH...

WILL DESTROY OUR ENEMIES...

-COMPLETELY. -COMPLETELY.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WEAPON?

[ RUMBLING ]

Shipwreck: ENTERPRISE TOWERS!

THEY'RE TRANSFORMING IT INTO A GANTRY AND BATTLE ROCKET!

IF THAT SHIP EVER GETS UP,

NO FORCE ON EARTH WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT!

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP IT FROM REACHING SPACE.

[ COBRA COMMANDER LAUGHS ]

BRILLIANT!

THIS HUGE ROCKET IS INVINCIBLE!

THE LAST LAUGH SHALL INDEED BE BEST!

[ LAUGHS ]

SATIN!

NEED A LIFT?

FLINT: Station delta,

do you see battle bird preparing for liftoff?

Dusty: WE SEE IT, AND WE DON'T LIKE IT.

DUKE AND THE REST OF THE GUYS

ARE RIGGIN' A PROTON BEAM STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE IT OUT,

BUT THEY'LL NEED MORE TIME.

WE DIDN'T MEAN TO DOUBLE-CROSS YOU, ZARTAN.

NO, NEVER!

NAY, NICHT, NEIN, NO!

IT WAS THOSE SCUZZY WUZZIES.

THEY INTIMIDATED US!

OH, SPARE US.

[ ZARTAN LAUGHS ]

OH, THANK YOU, ZARTAN!

THANK YOU!

GET UP! GET UP, YOU TREACHEROUS TOADBELLIES!

IF COBRA LOSES, I ALONE SHALL SEIZE THE REINS OF POWER.

AND I'LL NEED STOOGES TO DO MY BIDDING,

EVEN SECOND-RATE STOOGES LIKE YOU.

NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE WE'RE DISCOVERED.

Torch: OH, YOU WON'T REGRET THIS.

Buzzer: RIGHT. WE LOVE BEIN' YOUR STOOGES.

Satin: READY?

WE'RE NEARING THE UPPER LEVEL.

INCREASING THRUST.

LIFTOFF IN 10 SECONDS...

-9, 8, 7... -9, 8, 7...

IT'S NOW OR NEVER, GUYS.

YO-O-O, JOE!

YEAH. RIGHT!

YO-O-O, JOE!

[ SHOUTS ]

AAH!

THIS IS FOR MESSING WITH MY FATHER!

G.I. JOE HAS CAUGHT UP!

DESTROY THEM, BROTHER!

OH, BROTHER YOURSELF!

HEY, STEEL FACE IS SHORTING OUT HIS OWN ROCKET SHIP!

FLINT: Shipwreck, Duke's just about ready with that proton beam,

so get out of there and don't drag anchor.

I SUPPOSE THIS IS A BAD TIME TO ASK YOU TO GO OUT WITH ME?

HELP ME, YOU FOOLS!

MY FACE IS MAGNETIZED TO THE CONTROLS!

[ SQUAWKS ] POLLY WANTS FLIGHT INSURANCE!

I WISH YOU WERE TRIPLETS SO I COULD HIT THREE OF YOU!

INCOMPETENT, IDIOTIC, FATHEADED NINCOMPOOPS!

GET IN HERE!

JETTISON NOW, BEFORE THEY FIRE!

Torch: ZARTAN, YOU PUT US IN THE GARBAGE MODULE!

[ ZARTAN LAUGHS ]

WE'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ZARTAN!

PROTON BEAM IS UP TO SPEED.

LOCK ON COORDINATES.

FIRE!

HURRY, NO TIME LEFT!

[ CHEERING ]

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

YO-O-O, JOE!

YO, SHIPWRECK!

[ SQUAWKS ]

POLLY, TOO! POLLY, TOO!

COOL IT, BIRD.

SHIPWRECK WORKS ALONE.

YOUR INTERFERENCE COST ME VICTORY!

Both: WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CONTROL SOONER.

YOUR VAIN DENSENESS DESTROYED OUR TACTICAL ADVANTAGE!

I HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL

UNTIL YOU IMBECILES GOT PRETENTIOUS!

YOU PEA-BRAINED CARBON COPIES OF IDENTICAL DUMBELLS!

YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE!

-Tomax: YOUR FAULT! -Xamot: HIS FAULT!

-YOUR FAULT! -HIS FAULT!

-YOUR FAULT! -HIS FAULT!

Flint: WELL, LADY JAYE, LOOKS LIKE WE WON.

RIGHT, BUT NOW WHAT DO WE DO FOR THRILLS AND CHILLS?

HOW ABOUT DINNER AT THE JOE COMMISSARY?

WHAT'S SO DANGEROUS ABOUT THAT?

THE FOOD!