Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

USING FATAL FLUFFIES, COBRA CAPTURES SPACE STATION DELTA

AND DESTROYS JOE HEADQUARTERS.

BUT THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP IN COBRA'S MASTER PLAN

TO BUILD A PYRAMID OF DARKNESS.

ROADBLOCK TAKES TOMAX PRISONER.

AND SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK,

CARRYING THE SECRET OF THE CONTROL CUBES,

FIND AN UNEXPECTED ALLY NAMED SATIN.

BUT MAJOR BLUDD IS ABOUT TO ACTIVATE THE THIRD CUBE,

AND ALPINE AND BAZOOKA ARE ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED

BY FEROCIOUS LEOPARD SEALS...

AS WE BEGIN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."

[ SEAL ROARS ]

[ SEAL BARKING ]

LET'S ROCK THE BOAT!

[ SEALS BARKING ]

THE FOOLS WILL CAPSIZE,

AND THE LEOPARD SEALS WILL DEVOUR THEM, ANYWAY.

[ SEAL BARKS ]

STUCK.

AND OUT OF LUCK.

ROW TO SHORE!

LOOK.

GOT A PROBLEM, PILGRIM?

YOU SHALL LEARN A HARSH LESSON.

YOU WERE SAYING, TEACHER?

Alpine: DON'T KNOW THE DUDE, BAZOOK,

BUT HE'S GOT A WINNING PERSONALITY.

[ WHOOSHING ]

YAH!

UGH!

Alpine: THANKS FOR THE HAND, STRANGER. AND THE FEET.

GOOD THING I DID THAT "REELING IN THE ICE FLOE STUFF" BEFORE.

IT WAS IN A ROBERT REDFORD PICTURE,

BUT NEITHER OF YOU IS AS PRETTY AS HE IS.

BEAUTY ISN'T OUR STRONG SUIT, BUT FIGHTING COBRA IS.

YOU'RE OUR KIND OF SNAKE STOMPER.

RIGHT.

WILL YOU STOP JABBERIN' SO AS I CAN SNEAK A WORD IN?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME AND YOUR GAME, MY MAN?

THE NAME'S QUICK KICK.

I'M A MOVIE STUNTMAN

UP HERE FILMING A COMMERCIAL FOR FROZEN FUDGIE BARS.

BUT MY DIRECTOR TOOK OFF WITH THE EQUIPMENT AND MY MONEY.

BUT ENOUGH OF MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS, SWEETHEART. UH-OH.

GET DOWN.

[ ENGINE REVVING ]

[ LASER FIRE ]

Major Bludd: EXCELLENT.

EXCELLENT! THE CONTROL CUBE IS READY.

COBRA!

MAJOR BLUDD'S ACTIVATED THE CUBE.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

NOW IS OUR CHANCE. COME ON!

HITCHING RIDES CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO OUR HEALTH,

BUT HANGING AROUND HERE WOULD BE FATAL.

GOODBYE, G.I. JOE!

YOUR FAILURE HAS BEEN MOST GRATIFYING!

FUDGIES.

SAY WHAT?

FUDGIES.

YOU MEAN THE CANDY BARS I WAS PLUGGING?

UH-HUH. GOT ANY?

♪ FROZEN FUDGIES, WHAT A TREAT ♪

♪ LOTS OF CHOCOLATE, REALLY SWEET ♪

♪ FULL OF TAFFY, RAISIN, AND NUTS ♪

♪ THEY'LL MELT IN YOUR MOUTH

♪ AND TURN TO LEAD IN YOUR GUTS ♪

MMM. GROSS.

MMM! GOOD!

THANKS TO ROADBLOCK,

WE'VE GOT A PRISONER TO INTERROGATE.

LET ME READ HIM HIS RIGHTS FIRST.

HERE'S ONE RIGHT, AND HERE'S THE OTHER.

NOW TALK TO THE MAN.

YES, I WILL SPEAK.

THE ANSWER IS ON THIS INSIGNIA.

LOOK CLOSELY.

[ WARBLING ]

NO! DON'T!

CONDITION RED! TOMAX HAS ESCAPED!

THERE, IN THE RIGGING!

BREAK OUT THE ROCKET BOATS!

SORRY I CAN'T STAY, BUT I'LL DROP YOU EACH A LINE.

HA HA HA HA!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

Lady Jaye: WHILE I TIE UP A FEW LOOSE ENDS,

WHY DON'T YOU TWO TIE DOWN THAT TWIN TERMITE?

I'M ON MY WAY, LADY JAYE!

LET'S PLAY CATCH.

AAH! I'M FALLING! I'M FALLING!

WHAT HYSTERICAL IDIOCY IS THIS, XAMOT?

YOUR FEET ARE FIRMLY ON THE GROUND.

UGH!

HA HA HA HA HA! A SAFE LANDING!

XAMOT IS REACTING TO THE EXPERIENCE OF HIS TWIN TOMAX.

THERE'S A PSYCHIC BOND BETWEEN THEM.

WHAT A REVOLTING DISPLAY.

[ GRUNTING ]

YOU'RE GROUNDED, TOMAX!

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY PURSUIT SO...PHYSICAL.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT?

BY TREATING TOMAX ROUGHLY,

G.I. JOE HAS ENABLED ME TO FEEL MY BROTHER'S WHEREABOUTS.

THERE.

IN THE LOCATION EARMARKED

FOR THE FOURTH AND FINAL CONTROL CUBE --

THE SEA OF LOST SOULS.

I WISH TO RESCUE HIM IMMEDIATELY.

OUT OF THE QUESTION.

DESTRO AND THE BARONESS ARE LEAVING NOW

TO PLANT THE LAST CUBE

AND COMPLETE THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS.

YOUR SENTIMENTAL EXPEDITION COULD JEOPARDIZE THEIR ACTIONS!

MAY I REMIND YOU...

EXTENSIVE ENTERPRISE HAS FINANCED THIS OPERATION

100%.

WHY, GO. BEGIN YOUR MISSION OF MERCY AT ONCE.

GOOD!

I DO NOT AGREE WITH OUR LEADER'S CHANGE OF HEART.

HAS THE NOBLE DESTRO FORGOTTEN?

OUR LEADER HAS NO HEART.

ONE THING MORE --

YOU MUST NOT ACTIVATE THE FOURTH CUBE

UNTIL I HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE G.I. JOE STRONGHOLD

WITH TOMAX.

YOU HAVE MY WORD, DEAR XAMOT.

I WISH YOU EVERY SUCCESS.

COBRA!

O COBRA.

[ DOORS WHOOSH ]

DESTRO, YOU AND THE BARONESS SHALL ACTIVATE THE FOURTH CUBE

THE INSTANT IT HAS BEEN POSITIONED.

BUT THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS...

WE'LL DOOM TOMAX AND HIS BROTHER TO THE SAME FATE AS G.I. JOE.

AH, LEAVING US WITH TWO FEWER PARTNERS

WITH WHOM TO SHARE THE EARTH.

A PERFECT PLAN, MY BELOVED COBRA COMMANDER.

PERFECT!

[ ALL LAUGH EVILLY ]

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

RAISE THE GATE, HONEY. WE'RE LATE FOR A GIG.

SAVE THE SWEET TALK, LADY.

NOBODY GETS BY US WITHOUT RIGHTEOUS I.D.

NOW, LET'S SEE YOUR LETTER OF TRANSIT,

OR PREPARE FOR AIR-CONDITIONIN'.

UGH!

HEY, ENTERTAINERS DON'T NEED A SPECIAL PASS.

WE'RE DOING A PERFORMANCE AT COBRA TEMPLE

FOR DESTRO AND THE COBRA COMMANDER.

AND IF WE'RE LATE, YOU'D BETTER BUY INSURANCE.

ENTERTAINERS, HUH?

OKAY, IN THERE! IT'S SHOWTIME!

AND YOU BETTER BE GOOD.

COME ON OUT, OR WE'RE COMIN' IN AFTER YOU!

AGITATION, FRIEND, THAT'S YOUR SCENE.

GYRATION, SYNCOPATION, ANIMATION, OR IMAGINATION

DO NOT PROVOKE MY IRRITATION.

BUT AGITATION -- YUCK!

WITH A CAPITAL "BARF."

LET'S AMUSE THE MAN, COMPADRES.

MUSIC TO SOOTHE THE SAVAGE BEAST.

[ SAXOPHONE PLAYS ]

♪ OH, THE DANCE, SO SLICK AND WIGGLY ♪

♪ MAKE YOU SMILE AND GET ALL GIGGLY ♪

♪ OH, THE DANCE, YOU DON'T GET BUGGED ♪

♪ BUT WHEN WE FINISH, YOU GET SLUGGED ♪

GO FOR IT. JOE, HO!

YOU MEAN, "YO, JOE."

DON'T GET TECHNICAL. MOVE!

[ GROANING ] STOP 'EM!

BLAST 'EM!

THEY'LL TEAR US APART!

[ SCREECHES ]

POLLY WANTS BULLETPROOF FEATHERS!

[ SQUAWKS ]

[ WHIRRING ]

Shipwreck: WAY TO GO, SATIN!

Ledger: THEY'RE HEADING FOR THE SEA OF LOST SOULS.

IT'S BEEN A GRAVEYARD FOR SHIPS FOR A THOUSAND YEARS,

AND I CAN GET US THERE IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS.

BY WHICH TIME THEY'LL HAVE PLANTED THE LAST CUBE.

WE'VE GOT TO GET THERE FIRST AND BLOW THEM OUT OF THE WATER.

COME ON, LADY JAYE.

WE CAN'T LET 'EM GO IT ALONE.

GET US THERE IN ONE HOUR -- MAX.

SOON, BROTHER TOMAX, YOU SHALL BE FREE.

THIS WAY. TOMAX IS HERE.

I CAN SENSE HIS PRESENCE.

Baroness: GUARD YOURSELF WELL, DESTRO.

NOW, ALIGN THE CUBE AND BRING US VICTORY.

Flint: NOT SO FAST, TIN TOP!

YO-O-O, JOE!

Destro: GIVE THEM THE VENOM THEY DESERVE!

I SHALL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU, NOBLE DESTRO!

COBRA!

DESTRO'S GOING DOWN TO THE CUBE.

-WAIT! -DON'T WORRY!

I'VE BEEN IN WORSE DIVES!

GOOD LUCK, LADY JAYE!

YO-O-O, JOE!

[ BEEPING ]

Destro: WELCOME, LADY JAYE.

MEET MY NEW ROBOTOPUS.

HA HA HA HA HA!

[ GRUNTS ]

EYEBALL THIS, ROBOTOPUS!

[ ZAPPING ]

NOW, RELEASE THE STARFLIES.

[ CHIRPING ]

HEY! LOOK AT THE PRETTY BUTTERFLIES!

[ BOTH GAG ]

-BROTHER! -BROTHER.

NOW THAT WE ARE REUNITED...

-WE CANNOT FAIL. -...WE CANNOT FAIL.

QUICKLY, BEFORE THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS IS COMPLETE.

NO NEED TO RUSH.

THE COBRA COMMANDER HAS PLEDGED NOT TO ACTIVATE THE FOURTH CUBE

UNTIL WE ARE SAFELY AWAY.

AND YOU BELIEVE HIM?

OF COURSE NOT. OF COURSE NOT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ LASER FIRE ]

Destro: TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE!

HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

YOU HAVE DONE IT, DARLING DESTRO!

YOU HAVE MADE US INVINCIBLE!

[ WARBLING ]

DONE!

THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS IS COMPLETE AT LAST!

NOW, NO ELECTRICAL ENERGY FORCE CAN FUNCTION

UNLESS I PERMIT IT!

I HOLD THE DESTINY OF THE WORLD IN MY HANDS!

FLINT!

[ WHIRRING ]

POWER'S GONE. GOING TO CRASH.

THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS MAY CANCEL OUT MODERN POWER SOURCES,

BUT IT CAN'T STOP THE FALCON GLIDER.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!

I COULDN'T IF I TRIED!

FLINT AND LADY JAYE REPORTING FOR DUTY, ADMIRAL LEDGER.

UGH!

COBRA COMMANDER'S TREACHERY

EXTENDS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS, BROTHER.

Destro: STROKE!

STROKE!

STROKE!

THE TASTE OF TOTAL VICTORY IS SWEET, DEAR BARONESS.

ALMOST AS SWEET AS YOU.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

OH, DESTROMEO! HOW GALLANT.

[ GIGGLES ]

WE ARE MAROONED IN THE DARKNESS.

[ CHUCKLES ] NOT SO, TOMAX.

I'VE MADE PREPARATIONS.

[ LAUGHS ] WE RIDE IN STYLE!

THE TIME HAS COME TO GET A RETURN ON OUR INVESTMENT.

WE MUST SIGNAL OUR AGENTS ABOARD SPACE STATION DELTA...

Both: ...TO TAKE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING.

[ BOTH LAUGH EVILLY ]

AH, THERE IT IS, GENTLEMEN!

THE LOVELY FLARE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

IT'S OUR TURN NOW!

ANY OBJECTION, ZARTAN?

YOU MERCENARY TRAITORS!

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!

WRONG, ZARTAN!

OUR REAL EMPLOYERS, TOMAX AND XAMOT,

ARE THE ONES WHO WILL BE PAYIN'.

THAT'S RIGHT -- THEY'RE PAYING US A FORTUNE

TO TAKE CONTROL OF THIS HERE SPACE STATION.

Ledger: I'M AFRAID WE'RE BECALMED.

Flint: MEN SAILED THE SEAS BEFORE ELECTRICITY, ADMIRAL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FLINT?

MOTHER NATURE, LADY JAYE, MOTHER NATURE.

WE'LL HARNESS THE POWER OF THE WIND.

YES, THE WIND. BUT WILL IT WORK?

WE'LL SOON FIND OUT.

PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT, LADDIES!

Lady Jaye: IT'S CATCHING THE WIND. IT WORKS!

YO-O-O, JOE! WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET!

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN FROM HERE, GUYS.

IT WAS MORE MONKEYS THAN A BARREL OF LAUGHS,

OR SOMETHING.

HASTA LA VISTA.

SATIN, WAIT!

WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US AND HELP WHIP COBRA?

I'D LIKE THAT, SAILOR MAN,

BUT I'VE GOT MY OWN SONG TO SING.

YOU SEE, COBRA FRAMED MY FATHER

FOR CRIMES HE DIDN'T COMMIT.

AND DAD NEVER RECOVERED.

WELL, MAYBE WE'LL GET TOGETHER AGAIN SOME TIME.

♪ THE COBRA WHO GOT AWAY

RIGHT, SNAKE EYES.

THAT LASERDISC HAS THE INSIDE INFO

ON THOSE CONTROL CUBES.

WE GOT TO GET IT BACK TO HEADQUARTERS.

OH, GLORIOUS SATISFACTION!

THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS IS FUNCTIONAL!

AND WHEN I GIVE MY ULTIMATUM TO THE WORLD,

ALL WILL GROVEL AT MY FEET!

I WONDER IF I SHOULD BEGIN WITH MY BACK TO THE CAMERA

AND THEN TURN SUDDENLY...

OR WILL A SIMPLE CLOSE-UP BE MORE DRAMATIC?

Tomax: NEITHER, COBRA COMMANDER!

WHAT?!

YOU ARE NO LONGER...

...MASTER OF THIS SITUATION.

WE NOW CONTROL SPACE STATION DELTA...

...THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS.

-THE WHOLE ENCHILADA. -THE WHOLE ENCHILADA.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WHAT POPPYCOCK IS THIS?

YOUR STRUTTING AND BOASTING IS LUDICROUS!

Commander: COME IN, ZARTAN.

ACQUAINT THESE TWIN DIMWITS WITH THE FACTS OF LIFE.

SORRY, YOUR SUPREME SNAKESHIP,

BUT THE TWINS HAVE IT RIGHT, AND YOU HAVE IT WRONG.

[ LAUGHS ]

NO! I WON'T ACCEPT THIS!

THIS IS SKULLDUGGERY!

IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN PART OF OUR TRIUMPH...

YOU WILL COOPERATE FULLY...

...OR WE SHALL SIMPLY REMOVE YOU ENTIRELY.

-UNDERSTAND? -UNDERSTAND?

WHY, OF COURSE, NOBLE LADS.

I WOULD NEVER PERMIT MY PERSONAL DESIRES

TO INTERFERE WITH THE GREATER GLORY OF COBRA.

YOU HAVE MY ABSOLUTE LOYALTY.

HOW COMFORTING.

HOW DEPENDABLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE HEADED,

BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO GO THERE.

I DOUBT MAJOR BLUDD'S PLANNING TO TAKE THE SHOWER

OF A LIFETIME,

SO I'M BETTING SOMETHING'S BEHIND THOSE FALLS.

Bazooka: COBRA.

GO!

HEY, LET'S MAKE A GETAWAY

LIKE THE ONE I DID IN THE MARTIAL-ARTS FLICK

"LAST JET TO KILLER KARATE COLLEGE."

WONDERFUL NOTION, QUICK KICK,

ONLY THERE'S NO AIRCRAFT WITHIN A MILE OF HERE.

RIGHT, BAZOOK?

WRONG. CLOSER.

LIKE THE FELLA SAYS --

AND AWAY WE GO!

[ LASER FIRE ]

Alpine: NOTHING LIKE LASERS TO HASTEN WEARY FOOTSTEPS!

[ WHIRRING ]

WHEN I FLY FOR PAY,

IT'S USUALLY TO CRASH INTO SOMETHING.

WELL, REMEMBER, THIS IS A FREEBIE

AND GET US OUT OF HERE.

MADE IT.

WAY TO GO, Q.K.!

IF YOU DON'T MIND THE INITIALS.

Cobra: YOUR NEW INITIALS ARE M.U.D.

AND IF YOU CAN'T SPELL, THAT MEANS MUD!

NOW GET AWAY FROM THOSE CONTROLS.

ALPINE, HELP.

Alpine: BAZOOK!

G-FORCES!

CAN'T...MOVE!

LOOK O-O-O-OUT!

IN OUR NEXT EPISODE, SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK

RETURN TO JOE HEADQUARTERS

WITH THE SECRET OF THE CONTROL CUBES...

AND MUTT TURNS THE TABLES ON BOTH THE DREADNOKS

AND THE FATAL FLUFFIES...

WHILE THE REST OF THE JOES BLAST THEIR WAY

THROUGH THE COBRA TEMPLE IN A LAST-DITCH EFFORT

TO DESTROY THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS...

AND THE CRIMSON TWINS

LAUNCH THEIR DEADLIEST SURPRISE EVER.

ALL ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."