Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

USING FATAL FLUFFIES, COBRA CAPTURES SPACE STATION DELTA

AND DESTROYS JOE HEADQUARTERS.

BUT THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP IN COBRA'S MASTER PLAN

TO BUILD A PYRAMID OF DARKNESS, BENEATH WHICH

NO SOURCE OF ELECTRICAL ENERGY WILL FUNCTION.

SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK STEAL A TOP-SECRET LASER DISC

AND ESCAPE TO THE SLUMS OF ENTERPRISE CITY.

AND THE JOES LAUNCH SEPARATE TEAMS

TO STOP COBRA FROM PLANTING THEIR FOUR CONTROL CUBES.

BUT COBRA'S FANGS ARE SHARP,

AND FLINT AND LADY JAYE SINK TO THEIR DOOM

AS WE BEGIN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

MAINTAIN COVER FIRE.

THE CONTROL CUBE WILL SOON BE LOCKED INTO POSITION.

THEN NO FORCE ON EARTH CAN DISLODGE IT.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ PANTING, GURGLES ]

WHAT WE GOT HERE IS A SEMI-STANDOFF.

ONLY DESTRO CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS, AND WE CAN'T DO DIDDLY!

WE CAN'T EVEN GET TO FLINT AND LADY JAYE.

AND IF THAT MUD DOESN'T BOIL 'EM,

THEY'LL SURELY AND PURELY DROWN!

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

IT'S -- IT'S GOOD TO BREATHE AGAIN,

EVEN IF THE QUARTERS ARE A LITTLE CRAMPED.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ] I DON'T KNOW.

I -- I THINK IT'S RATHER COZY, FOR A BUBBLE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, UH, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

NOT -- NOT US PERSONALLY. I MEAN THE MISSION.

WHY, TO THE TOP, NATURALLY.

THE CUBE IS IN PLACE, DESTRO!

MAGNIFICENT.

DESTRO'S STILL AT IT,

BUT THIS TIME, WE MIGHT HAVE A SHOT AT HIM.

[ GROWLS LIGHTLY ]

[ SQUAWKS ] POLLY WANT A TAXI!

GET POLLY OUT OF HERE!

I'M NOT EXACTLY LOVING THIS EITHER, YOUR BEAKSHIP.

BUT WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF OPTIONS.

THAT LOOKS LIKE A NICE PLACE TO GET SOMETHIN' TO EAT,

LIKE MAYBE A BROKEN LEG OF LAMB.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

NICE QUIET PLACE!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, RESERVATION?

THIS AIN'T NO HOTEL!

OKAY, FORGET THAT.

BUT I AIN'T SEATING NOBODY WITH NO PARROT AND NO DOG.

UH, WHAT PARROT? WHAT DOG?

YEAH, WELL I DON'T SEE NO BIRD NO MORE,

BUT I STILL SEE A DOG.

FUNNY, THAT LITTLE DOGGIE JUST DISAPPEARED!

UH, TAKE ANY TABLE YOU WANT.

THANKS, CHUMP.

Emcee: AND NOW, THE SNAKE CAFE IS PROUD TO PRESENT...

SPREAD OUT!

Emcee: THE SCINTILLATING STAR, THE ONE, THE ONLY...SATIN!

♪ THE COBRA THAT GOT AWAY

♪ CHANGED MY LIFE ONE RAINY DAY ♪

♪ ON OUR FIRST RENDEZVOUS

♪ WE HELD HANDS AND I HEARD HIM SAY ♪

♪ "IF YOU WANT A ROMANCE FROM ME ♪

♪ "YOU'RE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE DESTRO HAS THE FIRST CALL..." ♪

AS SOON AS THE SONG ENDS, GRAB 'EM.

Satin: ♪ "WHEN HE SHOUTS, 'COBRA FIGHT' ♪

♪ "I WAR BY DAY, GO BY NIGHT

♪ GOODBYE, MISS, I'VE GOT TO SAY" ♪

♪ COBRA THAT GOT AWAY

Polly: COBRA THAT GOT AWAY!

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

♪ THE COBRA THAT GOT AWAY

♪ WENT BYE-BYE, NO MORE TO SAY

♪ HE STUCK ME WITH THE BILL, BUT I THINK OF HIM STILL ♪

THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU.

STICK CLOSE TO ME.

[ MUSICAL INTERLUDE ]

THE MUSIC WON'T PLAY FOREVER.

AND WHEN IT'S FINISHED, SO ARE THEY.

THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SHY, SNAKE.

MOVE THOSE FEET!

[ Laughing ] UNBELIEVABLE.

GO, BABY, GO!

COME ON, COME ON!

Cobra Commander: I ASSIGNED PLACEMENT

OF THE FIRST CONTROL CUBE TO YOU, DESTRO,

BECAUSE I EXPECTED YOU TO BE QUICK ABOUT IT.

BUT ALL I'VE RECEIVED ARE EXCUSES!

NO LONGER, MY ESTEEMED COBRA COMMANDER.

THE CUBE IS LOCKED INTO POSITION.

WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!

HERE ARE SOME LOOSE ENDS TO TIE YOU UP, DESTRO!

THIS MINE SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

WHAT?

-AAH! -AAH!

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU MUST FORGIVE ME FOR BEING AN UNGRACIOUS HOST,

BUT THE CONTROL CUBE WILL ENTERTAIN YOU IN MY ABSENCE.

COBRA!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

ALL RIGHT! HERE COMES THE CAVALRY!

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

TAKE 'EM!

ONE MORE TIME!

GO! GET OUT OF HERE!

AFTER THEM!

HEY!

I CAN'T SEE NOTHING!

THERE! UP THERE!

DON'T GET FRESH WITH ME, YOU BUM!

COVER THE EXITS AND THE BASEMENT!

THEY MUST BE HERE SOMEWHERE!

[ SQUAWKS ] "ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE!"

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!

[ SQUAWKS ]

"CAN IT, BIRD BRAIN."

SHIPWRECK DELGADO.

Man: OVER THERE!

IN HERE!

OKAY.

NOW COMES THE HARD PART --

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME.

BEHOLD, THE ANCIENT GUARDIANS OF THE CITY OF THE DEAD.

Xamot: WE MUST NOT AWAKEN THEM FROM THEIR ETERNAL SLUMBER.

Both: WE'LL LET THE JOES DO THAT FOR US.

G.I. JOE?

BUT THEY'RE IGNORANT OF OUR MOVEMENTS.

NOT ANYMORE. THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND US.

Tomax: SO TAKE COVER...

-AND AWAIT DEVELOPMENTS. -AND AWAIT DEVELOPMENTS.

YO-O-O, JOE, AND HERE WE GO.

THIS PLACE LOOKS WEIRD, AND THAT'S A FACT.

WHAT ARE YOU GETTIN', AIRTIGHT?

RADIOACTIVE AND METALLIC INTERFERENCE

FROM MINERAL DEPOSITS

MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL IF COBRA'S ALREADY HERE

OR ON THE WAY.

WELL, WE CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN AND SEND OUT FOR PIZZA.

IF THAT CUBE'S HERE, WE GOT TO FIND IT.

YO-O-O, JOE.

Tomax: THE JOES HAVE UNWITTINGLY ACTIVATED...

Xamot: THE ANCIENT GUARDIANS.

AND WHEN THEY HAVE DESTROYED G.I. JOE FOR US...

WE SHALL PLANT OUR CUBE...

-AND BE GONE. -AND BE GONE.

Bludd: ALIGN THE CONTROL CUBE AND RAISE IT INTO POSITION!

255.7 VERTICAL. MARK!

EXCELLENT! NOW SECURE IT SWIFTLY!

LOOK, UP THERE!

ONE OF THE COBRA CUBES!

BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET UP THERE

BEFORE MAJOR BLUDD RAINS ON OUR PARADE?

STRATEGY?

NOW YOU'RE TALKIN', BAZOOK.

I MAY EVEN QUOTE YOU IN MY MEMOIRS.

LET'S SEND THE GUYS UP THIS WAY.

THEN YOU AND I CAN CLIMB UP THE FLIP FACE OF THIS MOUNTAIN

AND TAKE 'EM FROM BEHIND.

UH-OH.

IT'S THE JOES!

THEY MUST NOT INTERFERE WITH OUR WORK!

COBRA!

OF COURSE, YOUR BURNING QUESTION IS,

HOW CAN OUR GUYS GET UP THAT ICE WALL, CORRECT?

RIGHT.

BRILLIANT ANALYSIS.

FORTUNATELY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN EQUALLY BRILLIANT SOLUTION.

-YODEL? -YOU GOT IT.

THE GOOD OLD ALPINE YODEL.

[ YODELS ]

♪ OH, YEAH

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

TAKE 'EM OVER THE CREVASSE, TOLLBOOTH.

BAZOOKA AND I WILL RENDEZVOUS WITH YOU FROM THE OTHER SIDE!

PIECE OF CAKE FOR THE BRIDGELAYER.

DEFEND THE CUBE AT ALL COSTS!

COBRA!

NOW IT'S UP TO US.

LET'S GIVE MAJOR BLUDD A NASTY SURPRISE.

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] GO, MAN, GO!

FANTASTIC VIEW, EH, BAZOOK?

FAN...[GULPS] TASTIC.

OUT OF MY WAY.

STAND BACK!

THEY'VE GOT TO BE HIDING HERE SOMEWHERE.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE THEY?

A GENTLEMAN WOULD KNOCK

BEFORE ENTERING A LADY'S DRESSING ROOM.

COOL IT, SISTER.

WHERE ARE THOSE GUYS YOU WERE DANCING WITH?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW, YOU MAXI-JERK?

I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS

ENTERTAINING THIS SLEAZE-BAG AUDIENCE

WITHOUT HAVING TO ANSWER A BUNCH OF STUPID QUESTIONS

FROM THE LIKES OF YOU!

BUT WE THINK THOSE MEN ARE AGENTS OF G.I. JOE.

THEN GO CATCH 'EM, YOU KLUTZ.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE, OR I'LL REPORT YOU TO MY BIGGEST FAN.

HE BUYS ALL MY RECORDS.

UH, UH, A THOUSAND APOLOGIES, MISS SATIN.

PLEASE SAY HELLO TO THE COBRA COMMANDER

NEXT TIME HE'S IN TO SEE THE SHOW.

UM, TELL HIM COLONEL SLASH SENDS HIS REGARDS.

GET OUT, SLUSH!

T-THAT'S SLASH!

GET OUT!

THANK YOU!

[ LAUGHS ] OKAY. YOU GUYS CAN COME OUT NOW.

[ SQUAWKS ] THERE'S NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ.

[ SQUAWKS, WHISTLES ]

NOW ALL WE GOT TO DO IS GET YOU OUT OF HERE

BEFORE THEY GET SUSPICIOUS AND COME BACK.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO SEEM UNGRATEFUL,

BUT WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO US?

AND DON'T TELL ME WE REMIND YOU OF YOUR FAMILY.

LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE A SOFT SPOT IN MY HEAD FOR WEIRDOS.

HOLD ON A SEC.

HERE, GET INTO THESE, FAST. AND NO ARGUMENTS.

[ BARKS ]

YOU HEARD THE LADY, SNAKE EYES.

HERE, YOU TAKE THE DRESS.

KEEP THEM PINNED DOWN!

THE CONTROL CUBE IS NEARLY IN POSITION!

FINAL ALIGNMENT COORDINATES --

75.9 VERTICAL.

MARK!

CAREFUL WHERE YOU PLANT YOUR BIG FEET, BAZOOKA.

WHOA!

-WHOA! -WHOA!

WHAT?

UP THERE! MORE JOES!

WE GOT TO GO FOR IT NOW.

YO-O-O, JOE!

Airtight: I DON'T WANT TO SEEM PRIMITIVE OR SUPERSTITIOUS,

BUT I HAVE THIS DISTURBING FEELING THAT...

Footloose: TELL ME, DUDE.

LIKE, IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE SURFING,

AND YOU JUST KNOW THIS KILLER WAVE IS SNEAKIN' UP BEHIND YOU,

READY TO WIPE YOU OUT.

YOU GUYS ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES

WITH ALL THAT FEAR TALK.

NOTHING TO BE AFRAID O-O-O-OF!

LET'S LAY THESE CERAMIC SUCKERS OUT!

NOW THAT THE JOES ARE PREOCCUPIED...

Xamot: WE ARE FREE TO POSITION OUR CONTROL CUBE...

-WITHOUT INTERFERENCE. -WITHOUT INTERFERENCE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ LASER FIRE ]

COORDINATES 975.6 VERTICAL. MARK!

-XAMOT! -TOMAX!

[ SCREAMING ]

Roadblock: WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!

Airtight: WHAT DO WE DO?

YEAH, LIKE, WHAT?

THIS WAY!

TWO POINTS!

ROADBLOCK, FOOTLOOSE!

NOW WE GOT DOUBLE TROUBLE!

WELL, WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TAKE 'EM ONE AT A TIME.

TOMAX, WATCH OUT!

IT'S THE JOES!

Roadblock: STRIKE!

XAMOT, ACTIVATE THE CONTROL CUBE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

RIGHT!

I'LL HANDLE THIS BUFFOON.

AAH!

Airtight: HEY, CHECK THAT OUT!

EACH TWIN FEELS WHAT HAPPENS TO THE OTHER!

[ GROANING ]

[ Strained ] YOU MAY HAVE ONE OF US, BUT YOU HAVE LOST!

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

Airtight: HE'S ENERGIZED THE CUBE!

Mutt: WHAT'S GOING ON, DUSTY?

THIS PLACE IS VIBRATING LIKE A $50 MILKSHAKE!

AND THEY LIKE IT, SO IT CAN'T BE GOOD.

SAVOR THIS MOMENT, DUKE.

IT MARKS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR END.

[ CHEERING ]

IT'S COMPLETING THE CUBE ENERGY CIRCUIT!

A BEAM OF DARKNESS! GET BACK!

I SHALL RETURN FOR YOU, BROTHER TOMAX!

HAVE NO FEAR!

FORM A UNIT TO BABYSIT THE CUBE.

WE GOT THIS SUCKER.

I'M AFRAID HE'S ALL THAT WE GOT LEFT TO TRADE.

[ Strained ] THERE MUST BE A WAY TO ESCAPE!

WE'VE GOT TO...HUH?

THE CUBE'S GOING CRAZY!

Flint: EVERYBODY GET BACK!

HOLD THEM OFF WHILE I MAKE THE FINAL ADJUSTMENTS!

Tollbooth: KEEP HAMMERING AT 'EM!

WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THAT CUBE

BEFORE WE CAN START DIGGING FOR ALPINE AND BAZOOKA!

MAN, NOW I KNOW HOW A FROZEN PIZZA FEELS.

WHOO-WHEE. HEY, YOU HEAR ME, BAZOOK?

[ GRUNTING ]

BARELY.

WELL, STOP PLAYING GROUNDHOG, BUDDY.

WE HAVE A MISSION TO COMPLETE.

OUCH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, GOOD BUDDY?

LEG HURTS.

WHEN YOU STAND OR WHEN YOU MOVE?

BOTH.

WELL, THEN YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO USE THE ALPINE TAXI SERVICE.

COME ON, GET ON MY BACK.

SO, OUR ENEMIES SURVIVED THE AVALANCHE.

WE MUST NOW ENSURE AN END TO THEIR GOOD FORTUNE.

AS YOU COMMAND, STORM SHADOW.

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OFF COURSE.

THE CUBE AND OUR GUYS MUST BE BACK THE OTHER WAY.

THE ELEMENTS SHALL SEE TO YOUR DESTINY, G.I. JOE!

THE COLD AND THE ICY SEA WILL BE FAR KINDER TO YOU THAN COBRA.

FAREWELL!

IF THOSE WAVES HIT US,

WE'LL BE FLASH-FROZEN BEFORE YOU CAN SAY TV DINNER!

UH-OH! LEOPARD SEALS!

[ SEALS BARKING ]

IF YOU'RE GONNA GET TALKY ON ME,

I WISH YOU'D FIND SOMETHING GOOD TO REPORT.

OH, NO, MY WEAPON FROZE!

SPEAKING OF TV DINNERS,

LET'S MAKE A SINCERE ATTEMPT

NOT TO BE THESE CRITTERS' MAIN COURSE!

IN OUR NEXT EPISODE,

XAMOT EXPERIENCES THE PAIN OF HIS TWIN BROTHER, TOMAX,

ENABLING HIM TO LOCATE THE U.S.S. FLAGG

AND MOUNT A DANGEROUS RESCUE OPERATION.

AND SATIN ONCE AGAIN PROVES HER WORTH

TO SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK

IN A DARING ESCAPE FROM THE SLUMS OF ENTERPRISE CITY...

WHILE DESTRO AND THE BARONESS OUTSMART DESTRO AND LADY JAYE

AND PLANT THE FOURTH AND FINAL CONTROL CUBE,

THEREBY COMPLETING THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS

AND PLUNGING THE WORLD INTO CHAOS.

ALL IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."