Original subtitles

YO-O-O, JOE!

♪ HE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEREVER THERE'S TROUBLE ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

♪ IT'S G.I. JOE AGAINST COBRA THE ENEMY ♪

♪ FIGHTING TO SAVE THE DAY

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP, HE'S ALWAYS THERE ♪

♪ FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM OVER LAND AND AIR ♪

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE IS THERE

G.I. JOE IS THE CODE NAME

FOR AMERICA'S DARING, HIGHLY TRAINED SPECIAL-MISSION FORCE.

ITS PURPOSE -- TO DEFEND HUMAN FREEDOM AGAINST COBRA,

A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

DETERMINED TO RULE THE WORLD.

♪ HE NEVER GIVES UP

♪ HE'LL STAY TILL THE FIGHT'S WON ♪

♪ G.I. JOE WILL DARE

♪ G.I. JOE, A REAL AMERICAN HERO ♪

♪ G.I. JOE

USING A DIVERSION,

COBRA STOWS STRANGE CARGO ABOARD THE SHUTTLE,

CAPTURES SPACE STATION DELTA,

AND FIRES THE POWERFUL LASER CANNON,

DESTROYING JOE HEADQUARTERS.

BUT THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP IN COBRA'S MASTER PLAN

TO BUILD A PYRAMID OF DARKNESS BENEATH WHICH

NO SOURCE OF ELECTRICAL ENERGY WILL FUNCTION.

BATTLING THEIR WAY PAST HUGE WATER ROBOTS,

SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK SUDDENLY FACE EXTERMINATION

AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE CONTROL CUBE FACTORY...

AS WE BEGIN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."

INTRUDERS MUST BE EXTERMINATED!

EXTERMINATED! EXTERMINATED!

COBRA COMMANDER, THE GREAT SNAKE, RULES FOREVER.

WRONG. HAIL COBRA COMMANDER!

THE GREAT SNAKE RULES FOREVER!

HAIL COBRA COMMANDER!

THE GREAT SNAKE RULES FOREVER!

[ SQUAWKS ] HAIL, COBRA COMMANDER.

THE GREAT SNAKE RULES FOREVER.

COBRA COMMANDER!

THE GREAT SNAKE RULES FOREVER.

ENTER AND GET TO WORK.

ALL RIGHT!

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Man over P.A.: ATTENTION LOYAL COBRA 13 WORKERS.

CONTROL CUBE ONE IS COMPLETED

AND IS NOW BEING READIED FOR DELIVERY.

FINISH REMAINING CUBES WITH RENEWED VIGOR.

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

BETTER KEEP HEADQUARTERS IN TOUCH.

HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

UH, UH, UH, WHAT ARE WE DOING?

UH, UH, WELL, THAT'S A HECK OF A QUESTION.

UH, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOIN'?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE EARNING YOUR PAY, SNAKELING!

NOW, GET TO WORK!

WORK! OH, AYE, SIR. RIGHT, SIR. WORK!

STOP!

SINCE WHEN ARE BIRDS AND DOGS PART OF COBRA REGULATIONS?

UH, LOOK, YOU WANT THE PARROT AND POOCH FOR TARGET PRACTICE,

THEY'RE ALL YOURS.

JUST DON'T TELL DESTRO WHO TOLD YOU TO TAKE 'EM.

UH, DESTRO OWNS THOSE ANIMALS?

WELL, HITLER HAD A CANARY.

ATTILA THE HUN LIKED GOLDFISH.

WHAT CAN I TELL YA?

YOU WANT DESTRO'S ZOO, BUDDY, YOU GOT IT.

HOLD IT.

GET BACK TO WORK,

BUT TAKE CARE OF THESE LITTLE PETS.

[ SQUAWKS ] LOVELY POLLY. SWEET BIRDIE.

AND IF HE ISN'T NICE TO THEM, YOU LET ME KNOW.

NOW START HAULING TITANIUM.

COBRA COMMANDER NEEDS THE REST OF THEM CUBES.

Flint: THANKS FOR LETTING US ESTABLISH TEMPORARY HEADQUARTERS

ON YOUR CARRIER, ADMIRAL LEDGER.

"TEMPORARY" IS THE WORD TO REMEMBER, FLINT.

I RUN A TIGHT SHIP,

AND THAT DOESN'T LEAVE MUCH ROOM FOR VISITORS,

EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FRIENDLY --

BUT ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE FEMALE.

WOMEN AREN'T BAD LUCK AT SEA, ADMIRAL.

THAT'S JUST AN OLD NAVY SUPERSTITION.

OLD NAVY IS JUST WHAT I AM, MA'AM.

I'VE BEEN AT SEA SO LONG, WHALES ASK ME FOR DIRECTIONS.

[ BEEPING ]

THERE'S SOMETHING COMIN' IN ON JOE FREQUENCY.

THAT BEEPER BELONGS TO SHIPWRECK.

ALL RIGHT! HE ESCAPED THE WATER ROBOTS.

I'LL PUNCH UP A CLOSE SHOT.

DESTRO.

SHIPWRECK MUST'VE TAGGED HIS OPERATION.

PROJECTING DESTRO'S FLIGHT COORDINATES

SHOWS HIM TOUCHING DOWN AT A CUTE, VOLCANIC VACATION SPOT

KNOWN AS THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND.

BUT THAT'S NO PLACE FOR A LADY, FLINT.

I WILL NEED SOMEONE TO MAINTAIN SURVEILLANCE

ABOARD THE CARRIER.

AND I'M SURE YOU'LL PICK THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB.

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

SHE'S NOT JUST A LADY, ADMIRAL LEDGER.

SHE'S MY TEAMMATE.

YO-O-O, JOE!

[ HISSING ]

IT DON'T FIGURE, DUSTY.

WHY AIN'T ZARTAN BLASTIN' MORE JOE POSITIONS ON EARTH

INSTEAD OF WORKING US LIKE SLAVES IN ZERO GRAVITY?

KEEP WORKIN'! NO SHIRKIN'! [ LAUGHS ]

[ GROWLS ]

MAYBE COBRA'S GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRENCH FRY,

AND MAYBE THIS ELECTRONIC GEAR'S PART OF THEIR PLAN.

WORK! NO TALKING!

RIGHT, HANDSOME! WE LOVE TO WORK.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I EVEN WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT.

♪ WHEN YOU SLAVE FOR A COBRA, SURE IS NEAT ♪

♪ TO DO YOUR WORK TO A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BEAT ♪

♪ JUST LET YOUR FEET TAP AND MOVE ♪

♪ WHILE THE PRISONERS GROOVE WITH A "BODIO-DODIO-REET" ♪

WORK!

ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.

WE'VE GOT TO GET INTO THE CONTROL ROOM

AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,

AND THEN GET WORD BACK TO EARTH.

LOTS OF LUCK.

FIRST YOU GOT TO GET PAST THOSE SCUZZY FUZZIES.

[ HISSING ]

THEN THERE'S THOSE KNUCKLE-HEADED DREADNOKS.

MAN, EVEN OLD JUNKYARD WOULD HAVE TROUBLE

SLIPPING THROUGH ALL THIS SECURITY.

I DIDN'T SAY IT'D BE EASY, MUTT.

WAIT A MINUTE, I GOT AN IDEA.

-WHAT IS IT? -Shh.

LOOK -- THE GRAVITY LEVER.

YEAH, SO?

SO, WHAT IF GRAVITY SUDDENLY "FALLS IN" ON US,

AND I MEAN FALLS?

[ Laughing ] YEAH, OF COURSE.

LET ME WARN THE OTHERS.

[ WHISTLES ]

GIVE ME TWO MINUTES,

THEN THROW THE LEVER BACK TO ZERO "G."

OKAY. GET CRAZY.

NO MORE! NO MORE!

GET BACK TO WORK!

I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE!

I NEED GRAVITY!

[ BEEPING ]

GRAVITY!

AAH!

STOP THE PRISONER! HE'S ESCAPIN'!

[ ENGINE REVS ]

Ripper: THERE HE IS!

HE'S HEADIN' TO THE CONTROL ROOM!

QUICK! GET HIM!

I HOPE MUTT'S TIMING IS PERFECT.

HE'S GONE CRACKERS!

[ Echoing ] YO-O-O, JOE!

AAH!

HEY, LIGHTEN UP, YOU GUYS.

WHOA!

[ GRUNTS ]

GOOD OLD MUTT.

HE'S REACHED THE CONTROL ROOM LEVEL!

COME ON!

WE'LL GO DOWN THE UTILITY RAMP!

BACK TO WORK!

YES, SIR.

NO!

GRAVITY? AGAIN?

Ripper: LOOK OUT BELOW!

THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS IS NEARING COMPLETION, ZARTAN.

TWO MORE PARTIES HAVE LEFT WITH CONTROL CUBES.

MERCY! HAVE PITY ON ME!

DUSTY!

LET ME REST IN GRAVITY!

SEIZE THE PRISONER.

YOU MISERABLE SLAVE DRIVER!

CAN'T STOP! STAND ASIDE!

LOOK OUT!

THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH GRAVITY

TO SATISFY YOU FOR QUITE A WHILE.

COBRA MUST BE UP TO SOMETHING BIG.

TAKE THE PRISONER AND YOUR WRETCHED SELVES

OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!

DUKE, ARE YOU OKAY?

DUSTY, GET A MESSAGE BACK TO --

[ GROANS ]

Destro: CAREFUL. WE MUST NOT DAMAGE THE CUBE.

HORIZONTAL ALIGNMENT HAS BEEN VERIFIED.

COMMENCE IMPLANTATION.

3.09 MINUTES DOWN ON VERTICAL AXIS.

SLOWLY, SLOWLY.

OOF! UGH.

SANDER.

MAINTAIN CUBE POSITION!

LADY JAYE: Let's put one cube down the tube!

NOTHING MUST INTERFERE WITH CUBE PLACEMENT!

COBRA!

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO IN FROM THE SIDE DOOR.

[ LASER FIRE ]

COBRA!

PREPARE FOR GROUND ATTACK!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

HIT THE DIRT!

[ COUGHS ]

PINK IS YOUR COLOR.

[ Laughing ] DON'T LAUGH, YOU BUM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT CUBE DOES,

BUT WE'VE GOT TO TAKE IT APART BEFORE IT DOES IT.

Shipwreck: I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING, SNAKE EYES.

THIS ASSEMBLY LINE'S TURNING OUT CUBES

FASTER THAN WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO.

Man over P.A.: ATTENTION. ATTENTION.

A MESSAGE FROM OUR GLORIOUS LEADER, COBRA COMMANDER.

UP HIS NOSE WITH A FIRE HOSE! [ SQUAWKS ]

Shh!

I AM PLEASED WITH YOUR RAPID PRODUCTION

OF THE CONTROL CUBES.

THE FOURTH AND FINAL CUBE MUST BE FINISHED AT ONCE,

SO WE DO NOT LOSE THE STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE TO OUR ENEMY,

G.I. JOE!

NOW BACK TO WORK AND VICTORY!

COBRA!

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

WE GOT TO SCOOP THE STORY ON THOSE CUBES

AND GET TRAVELING.

HOLD IT. THE CHIEF ENGINEER'S OFFICE.

WE'VE HIT PAY DIRT.

[ LOCK RATTLES ] -HMM.

THIS'LL TAKE A LITTLE FINESSE.

Polly: FINESSE, YEAH, FINESSE!

BATTEN DOWN YOUR BILGE, POLLY.

WE GOT WORK TO DO.

BINGO.

THAT LASER DISC PROGRAMS THE ASSEMBLY LINE.

EVERYTHING HEADQUARTERS NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THOSE CUBES

IS ON THIS.

OKAY, TURN AROUND NICE AND SLOW.

[ SQUAWKS ]

[ TIMBER GROWLS ]

GOOD GOING, TIMBER!

[ SCREECHES ]

OKAY, OKAY, YOU TOO, POLLY.

AND SPEAKING OF GOING, WE'RE GONE.

WORK!

Mutt: I DON'T KNOW, DUSTY.

I MEAN, THE FACT YOU USED TO REPAIR REFRIGERATORS

DOESN'T MAKE YOU AN ELECTRONICS EXPERT.

I'M NOT SAYING I'M AN EXPERT.

BUT I KNOW ENOUGH TO PUT THIS CIRCUIT JUMPER

ACROSS THOSE COMMUNICATIONS CABLES.

AND THEN ANYTHING ZARTAN PICKS UP ON HIS MONITOR

WILL BE BROADCAST OUT ON JOE FREQUENCY?

THAT'S THE IDEA. BUT FIRST WE NEED A DIVERSION.

I HOPE THIS CABLE HAS ENOUGH VOLTAGE.

I'M SURE IT'LL SPARK SOME INTEREST.

HEY!

HUH?

YOU BAD!

[ LAUGHS ] THEY'RE AS DUMB AS THEY ARE UGLY!

WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK!

NO, NO, NO, NO!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

HEY, THERE! GET BACK TO YOUR POSTS!

COME ON, NOW! LET GO!

OKAY, DUSTY, DO YOUR STUFF.

PRISONERS! NOW YOU PAY!

[ ROARS ]

YOU SHALL PAY!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ SCREAMS ]

[ BARKS ]

HE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME AFTER THAT JOLT.

THAT'S REALLY GONNA DO IT?

YOU BET, UH, PROBABLY.

I HOPE.

THE CRIMSON TWINS WILL SOON REACH THE CITY OF THE DEAD

WITHOUT INTERFERENCE FROM G.I. JOE.

THE CUBE SHOULD BE IN PLACE SHORTLY.

Airtight: I'M PICKING UP SOMETHING ON JOE FREQUENCY

FROM SPACE STATION DELTA.

MAJOR BLUDD IS ON SCHEDULE FOR ARRIVAL

AT THE MOUNTAIN OF GLASS, ZARTAN.

THERE REMAINS BUT ONE LAST LINK TO COMPLETE MY MASTER PLAN!

COBRA'S GOT THE DELTA STATION.

THEY'RE PLANTING CUBES THROUGHOUT CREATION.

IF WE DON'T START RETALIATION,

WE'RE SUNK, AND THAT'S NO BUNK!

[ INDISTINCT AGREEING ]

HOLD ON, CREW!

ROADBLOCK SAID RETALIATION, DIDN'T HE?

-YEAH! -YEAH! -YEAH! -YEAH!

WELL, THAT'S JUST WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO!

RETALIATE!

-YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE! -YO-O-O, JOE!

Airtight: YOU KNOW, FOOTLOOSE, I THINK ADMIRAL LEDGER

SHOWED EXCEPTIONAL JUDGMENT IN ASSIGNING US

TO HEAD THIS CUBE-CHASING DETACHMENT.

YOU AND I ARE A UNIQUELY CAPABLE COMBINATION,

DON'T YOU THINK?

LIKE, MAKES NO NEVER MIND TO ME, AIRTIGHT.

I'LL JUST MELLOW OUT UNTIL WE HIT THE CITY OF THE DEAD.

I'M GONNA USE THIS TIME TO DOUBLE-CHECK MY COMPUTATIONS

ON FUEL CONSUMPTION.

9.2 TIMES 5.0...

YOU, BUTTON YOUR LIP AND FLY THIS SHIP!

AND, YOU, ON YOUR TOES OR I'LL MASH YOUR NOSE!

YOU TWO DINGBATS NEVER HEADED A MISSION BEFORE.

WELL, THAT'S WHY ADMIRAL LEDGER PUT ME IN CHARGE,

SO SHAPE UP NOW OR THIS GOES POW.

UH, RIGHT, ROADBLOCK!

Y-YES, SIR! RIGHT AWAY SIR!

WE'RE ON OUR WAY!

Alpine: MAJOR BLUDD'S HEADING FOR THAT CHARMING, FROZEN CONFECTION,

THAT JAGGED, ICED PEAK CALLED THE MOUNTAIN OF GLASS,

AND WE'RE GONNA CLIMB IT, BAZOOK, HAND OVER HAND,

DANGLING IN SPACE, THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR.

AIN'T THAT EXCITING?

NO. SICKENING.

WHY YOU SAY THAT?

FALLING.

OH, WELL, DON'T WORRY. WE WON'T DO THAT PART.

[ LAUGHS ]

Shipwreck: THIS THING'S GOT AUXILIARY POWER,

BUT WE CAN'T RISK THE NOISE UNTIL WE'RE FARTHER OUT.

♪ SEE, SAW, MARJORIE DAW, ♪

♪ JACK WILL HAVE A NEW MASTER ♪

AND SHIPWRECK WILL HAVE A CHARLIE HORSE!

[ SQUAWKS ]

KEEP IT UP, POLLY, AND I'LL TURN YOU INTO A HOOD ORNAMENT!

UH-OH! TIMBER, HELP SNAKE EYES PUMP

WHILE I START THE ENGINE.

PUMP! PUMP! PUT YOUR PAWS INTO IT!

[ SQUAWKS ]

IT WON'T CATCH!

COME ON, YOU RUST-COVERED BARNACLE!

AAH!

THANKS, TIMBER. I OWE YOU A BIG ONE.

THEY CAN'T OUTRUN OUR TRACK REPTILES!

TAKE ROUTE "F" AND INTERCEPT 'EM AT JUNCTION SEVEN!

-COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA! -COBRA!

AAH, THIS IS THE LIFE.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

UH-OH!

[ SQUAWKS ] PUMP IRON! PUMP IRON!

10,000 GOLD FANG SHILLINGS

TO THE TROOPER WHO BRINGS THEM IN!

FASTER, SNAKE EYES! PUMP FASTER!

[ SQUAWKS ] NO VISITORS!

COBRA!

OW!

YOU ANTIQUE METAL MEATBALL!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

RUN THEM DOWN! INCREASE THRUST!

Shipwreck: SWITCH AHEAD!

TIME TO PART COMPANY, SNAKE EYES!

WHOA!

ALL RIGHT, WE DID IT!

WE'RE FINALLY OUT OF --

DANGER!

[ SQUAWKS ]

SAVE POLLY!

GET READY FOR A LITTLE ROLLER COASTER RIDE!

ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO!

HIT THE BRAKES!

[ METAL SCREECHES ]

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I'VE BEEN UNDERGROUND SO LONG I FEEL LIKE A TOADSTOOL.

LET'S STASH THESE UNIFORMS WHERE THEY BELONG.

GREAT.

WE JUST WENT FROM THE SEWER UP TO THE TOILET.

I HAVE THEM.

THEY'RE MOVING INTO THE CIVILIAN SECTOR.

MAINTAIN FIRE UNTIL CUBE PLACEMENT HAS BEEN VERIFIED!

.570, VERTICAL. MARK!

Flint: WELL, IF WE CAN'T TAKE THE LOW ROAD...

THE HIGH ROAD'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

1, 2, 3.

YO-O-O, JOE!

[ LAUGHS ]

FLINT, HELP!

LADY JAYE!

[ DESTRO LAUGHS ]

IN OUR NEXT EPISODE,

SNAKE EYES AND SHIPWRECK ENCOUNTER AN UNEXPECTED ALLY

IN THE SLUMS OF ENTERPRISE CITY...

AND ALPINE SHATTERS THE MOUNTAIN OF GLASS

BY YODELING...

WHILE ROADBLOCK, AIRTIGHT, AND FOOTLOOSE BATTLE THEIR WAY

THROUGH THE ANCIENT CITY OF THE DEAD,

PAST GIANT CLAY WARRIORS,

IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO PREVENT THE CRIMSON TWINS

FROM PLANTING ANOTHER ONE

OF THE MYSTERIOUS CONTROL CUBES.

ALL IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE

OF "G.I. JOE: THE PYRAMID OF DARKNESS."