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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:18,892 --> 00:01:20,644 Bitterman, stop the car! Stop it, stop the car. 2 00:01:20,852 --> 00:01:23,207 Girls! Girls! 3 00:01:23,572 --> 00:01:24,766 Hello, girls! 4 00:01:27,732 --> 00:01:30,724 Would the more attractive of you please step forward? 5 00:01:31,812 --> 00:01:33,006 God! That's funny! 6 00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:38,529 No, actually, you're both very attractive. 7 00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:42,322 Would the one who thinks I'm attractive please step forward? 8 00:01:43,252 --> 00:01:45,208 Quickly as possible! Time is money! 9 00:01:46,452 --> 00:01:47,567 What'd you have in mind? 10 00:01:47,812 --> 00:01:50,770 VD I'm really into penicillin. 11 00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:52,206 Now that's funny! 12 00:01:54,892 --> 00:01:56,564 Actually, what I had in mind... 13 00:01:56,812 --> 00:02:00,009 ...was spending the evening with a stranger who loves me. 14 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:02,890 It's going to cost you $ 100. 15 00:02:03,132 --> 00:02:04,929 Oh, yeah? What time do you get off work? 16 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,527 No, I'm kidding! 17 00:02:08,972 --> 00:02:13,124 Let's make it $200. But I will ask you to Simoniz my car. 18 00:02:17,612 --> 00:02:19,603 Has there been a death in your family? 19 00:02:19,812 --> 00:02:21,211 This is funny stuff here. 20 00:02:25,532 --> 00:02:26,931 Let's go. 21 00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:31,248 Bitterman, give her... 22 00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:33,960 ...give her friend $ 100. She came in second. 23 00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:40,325 Who is that guy? 24 00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:41,766 I'd rather not say. 25 00:02:42,012 --> 00:02:44,480 I think I know. I saw his picture in the paper. 26 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,848 - That's Arthur Bach, isn't it? - What if it is? 27 00:02:47,092 --> 00:02:49,526 Is there something wrong with him? 28 00:02:52,732 --> 00:02:53,608 Yes. 29 00:03:05,492 --> 00:03:08,529 Permit me to introduce myself. 30 00:03:10,612 --> 00:03:12,523 Where in the hell's my hat? 31 00:03:12,732 --> 00:03:14,051 It's on the floor. 32 00:03:14,252 --> 00:03:16,720 I hate it when that happens. 33 00:03:18,852 --> 00:03:20,922 I am Arthur. 34 00:03:21,212 --> 00:03:22,850 I'm Gloria. 35 00:03:26,052 --> 00:03:28,566 - I am Arthur. - Yeah. What're you drinking? 36 00:03:28,812 --> 00:03:30,484 Scotch. Would you like some? 37 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,562 Why not? 38 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,406 You're with me and you can ask that question? 39 00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,482 What's so funny now? 40 00:03:43,732 --> 00:03:46,644 I sometimes just think funny things! 41 00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:49,730 What do you do for a living? 42 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:53,121 I race cars. I play tennis... 43 00:03:53,332 --> 00:03:55,209 ...I fondle women, but... 44 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:59,161 ...I have weekends off and I am my own boss. 45 00:04:04,372 --> 00:04:07,045 The Plaza, and step on it! 46 00:04:07,292 --> 00:04:09,522 Sir, if I may say so... 47 00:04:10,012 --> 00:04:11,923 Go through the park. 48 00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,968 You know how I love the park! 49 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,810 Can I have another drink? 50 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,405 Isn 't this fun?! 51 00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:25,010 Isn 't fun the best thing to have?! 52 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,643 Don 't you wish you were me? 53 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,405 I know I do! 54 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,645 Isn't that Arthur Bach? 55 00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:06,531 I fell out of the goddamned car! 56 00:05:07,212 --> 00:05:08,930 Is that the funniest thing ever?! 57 00:05:10,612 --> 00:05:12,011 Are you hurt, sir? 58 00:05:12,692 --> 00:05:14,250 I fell out of the car! 59 00:05:14,692 --> 00:05:16,967 Isn't that the funniest thing ever? 60 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,844 You had to be there, right? 61 00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:22,684 You are quite amusing, sir. 62 00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:25,850 Please get my drink. After all, we're going to the bar. 63 00:05:26,052 --> 00:05:28,202 Thank you so much. 64 00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:39,325 Madame, I'm sorry, but we have absolutely no... 65 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,847 Don't give me any stuff, buster! 66 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,003 It's all right, the lady's with me. 67 00:05:44,332 --> 00:05:46,687 Mr. Bach! How good to see you! 68 00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:49,492 If only someone I knew felt that way! 69 00:05:50,492 --> 00:05:52,847 We have your regular table, Mr. Bach. 70 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,725 I know you have it, but is anyone sitting at it? 71 00:06:04,452 --> 00:06:07,603 It's all right. They're used to seeing me with the turtle. 72 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:15,087 Uncle Peter! And Aunt Pearl! 73 00:06:16,612 --> 00:06:17,488 You're looking well. 74 00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:18,562 Thank you! 75 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:23,049 Aunt Pearl, may I say you're looking younger every day. 76 00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:25,203 Doesn't Aunt Pearl look wonderful, darling? 77 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,124 She looks great. 78 00:06:28,412 --> 00:06:31,290 We haven't had the pleasure of meeting this young woman. 79 00:06:31,532 --> 00:06:32,931 Would you introduce us? 80 00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:34,924 How stupid of me! 81 00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:40,445 Princess Gloria, may I introduce my aunt and uncle... 82 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,569 ...Peter and Pearl Bach. 83 00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:44,406 How are you? 84 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,728 Princess? Did you say "Princess," Arthur? 85 00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:53,364 There's a very small country in the West Indies. I mean small. 86 00:06:53,612 --> 00:06:55,170 I see. Thank you. 87 00:06:57,452 --> 00:07:00,728 It's terribly small. Tiny little country. 88 00:07:01,932 --> 00:07:04,207 Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. 89 00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:05,726 That's how small it is. 90 00:07:05,932 --> 00:07:07,206 It's small. 91 00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:10,247 It's very little... 92 00:07:10,492 --> 00:07:14,405 It's 85 cents in a cab from one end to the other. 93 00:07:14,612 --> 00:07:15,965 I'm talking small! 94 00:07:16,212 --> 00:07:19,204 We understand it's small, Arthur. 95 00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:23,890 They recently had the whole country carpeted. 96 00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:28,208 This is not a big place. 97 00:07:28,452 --> 00:07:31,205 We understand that it's small, Arthur. 98 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,966 And we also understand that you are very drunk. 99 00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:37,921 So why don't we meet again when you're sober? 100 00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:43,524 Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't help it. 101 00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:47,361 Grow up, Arthur. You'd make a fine adult. 102 00:07:47,612 --> 00:07:48,761 That's easy for you to say. 103 00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:50,730 You haven't got 50 pairs of short pants... 104 00:07:50,932 --> 00:07:52,923 ...hanging in your closet! 105 00:07:54,572 --> 00:07:57,689 It's the regular table! Wait a minute... 106 00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:00,531 ...regular chair. 107 00:08:05,212 --> 00:08:07,203 How rich are you? 108 00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:10,163 All I can tell you is... 109 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,330 ...I wish I had a dime for every dime I have. 110 00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:16,565 The service here is terrible. Where the hell's my drink? 111 00:08:18,772 --> 00:08:21,923 - We just ordered! - That's always their excuse. 112 00:08:22,772 --> 00:08:25,525 Engine room, where the hell's my drink?! 113 00:08:26,612 --> 00:08:27,840 Are you married? 114 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:31,562 There's only one woman for me. 115 00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:34,482 And I can't stand her. 116 00:08:34,892 --> 00:08:36,484 Her name is Susan. 117 00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:39,445 I can't tell you her last name. It would be indiscreet. 118 00:08:39,692 --> 00:08:40,886 Johnson. 119 00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:42,964 Susan Johnson. 120 00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:44,850 My father wants me to marry her... 121 00:08:45,052 --> 00:08:46,610 ...but I'm not going to! 122 00:08:47,452 --> 00:08:50,728 You're the only woman at this table. 123 00:08:52,972 --> 00:08:55,532 Sure, you bring her a bottle, me you bring a glass. 124 00:08:55,732 --> 00:08:57,768 Fine. Thank you very much. 125 00:08:58,332 --> 00:08:59,526 Aren't waiters wonderful? 126 00:08:59,732 --> 00:09:02,929 You ask them for things, and they bring them. 127 00:09:04,332 --> 00:09:07,130 Same principle as Santa Claus. 128 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,405 Tell me about yourself. 129 00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:17,571 You mean, why I'm a hooker? 130 00:09:18,052 --> 00:09:19,167 Are you a hooker? 131 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,411 Jesus, I forgot! 132 00:09:21,612 --> 00:09:24,001 I thought I was doing great with you. 133 00:09:28,572 --> 00:09:29,846 Why are you a hooker? 134 00:09:30,572 --> 00:09:32,369 My mother died when I was six. 135 00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,488 Son of a bitch! 136 00:09:37,972 --> 00:09:40,566 Don't they know what they do to kids?! 137 00:09:40,772 --> 00:09:42,888 My father raped me when I was 12. 138 00:09:43,092 --> 00:09:45,811 So you had six relatively good years. 139 00:09:47,732 --> 00:09:48,801 I'm sorry. 140 00:09:49,532 --> 00:09:52,524 Listen, my father screwed me too. 141 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:57,927 Do you like me? 142 00:09:58,452 --> 00:09:59,851 You're cute. 143 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,804 I know that! 144 00:10:02,052 --> 00:10:03,724 But do you like me? 145 00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:08,812 Well, Princess, we're going to have fun! 146 00:10:09,772 --> 00:10:14,129 Tonight is New Year's Eve! Third time this week! 147 00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:16,330 Here's to you! 148 00:10:20,012 --> 00:10:21,127 Noisy! 149 00:11:18,892 --> 00:11:20,484 Hello, darling. 150 00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:22,331 Good morning. 151 00:11:24,412 --> 00:11:25,527 Did you sleep well? 152 00:11:25,732 --> 00:11:26,847 - Fine. - Good. 153 00:11:29,252 --> 00:11:31,163 Please stop that! 154 00:11:31,532 --> 00:11:33,409 Hobson how good to see you! 155 00:11:34,212 --> 00:11:35,804 - Thank you so much. - Not at all. 156 00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:39,288 I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition... 157 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,922 ...and I've brought you orange juice, coffee and aspirins. 158 00:11:43,132 --> 00:11:44,884 Or do you need to throw up? 159 00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:53,205 Gloria, I would like you to meet Hobson. 160 00:11:53,452 --> 00:11:55,010 My best friend in the world. 161 00:11:55,292 --> 00:11:57,522 I relish the compliment. 162 00:11:57,852 --> 00:11:59,570 It is thrilling to meet you, Gloria. 163 00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:07,888 You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. 164 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:14,124 I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness. 165 00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:25,128 As we all can see, it's a lovely day. 166 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:28,330 Which would seem to indicate that the night is over. 167 00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:32,922 I have arranged breakfast for you on the east patio. 168 00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:38,245 This is a robe. Please put it on. 169 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,729 Say goodbye to her, Arthur. 170 00:13:04,412 --> 00:13:06,323 Do you know what I'm going to do? 171 00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:07,971 No, I don't. 172 00:13:08,892 --> 00:13:10,723 I'm going to take a bath. 173 00:13:11,372 --> 00:13:13,090 I'll alert the media. 174 00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:26,327 Do you want to run my bath for me? 175 00:13:26,732 --> 00:13:28,290 It's what I live for. 176 00:13:41,892 --> 00:13:44,964 Perhaps you'd like me to wash your dick for you... 177 00:13:45,212 --> 00:13:46,725 ...you little shit. 178 00:13:48,532 --> 00:13:51,922 You'd better watch out You'd better not cry 179 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,681 You'd better not pout I'm telling you why 180 00:13:56,332 --> 00:14:00,007 Santa Claus is coming to town 181 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,650 Hobson, this is Arthur. 182 00:14:06,892 --> 00:14:09,167 Yes! How delightful to hear from you. 183 00:14:09,852 --> 00:14:11,729 How about a pitcher of martinis? 184 00:14:11,972 --> 00:14:13,121 No, thank you. 185 00:14:13,372 --> 00:14:15,886 I'm not going to face my father sober. 186 00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:18,926 If you don't bring them I'll have someone else do it! 187 00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:20,890 I'll bring them. 188 00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:23,930 - Say goodbye. - Goodbye. 189 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,484 He treats me like a kid. 190 00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:51,326 You know, Arthur... 191 00:14:51,692 --> 00:14:55,128 ...your father is going to demand that you marry Susan. 192 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:57,249 I don't care what he demands. 193 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:03,041 Stay with me a minute, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone. 194 00:15:03,692 --> 00:15:07,162 Yes. Bathing is a lonely business. 195 00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:10,368 Except for fish. 196 00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:12,811 I beg your pardon? 197 00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:16,123 Did you say "except for fish"? 198 00:15:18,972 --> 00:15:20,325 Fish all bathe together. 199 00:15:20,932 --> 00:15:23,492 Although they do tend to eat one another. 200 00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:24,968 I often think... 201 00:15:25,172 --> 00:15:27,891 ...fish must get awfully tired of seafood. 202 00:15:28,212 --> 00:15:29,531 What are your thoughts, Hobson? 203 00:15:30,212 --> 00:15:31,611 Pardon me... 204 00:15:42,772 --> 00:15:44,524 I don't want you to be alone. 205 00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:47,485 I'll never be alone. I have you. 206 00:15:48,052 --> 00:15:50,441 Isn't life wonderful, Hobson? 207 00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:53,047 Yes, Arthur, it is. Do your armpits. 208 00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,607 A hot bath is wonderful! 209 00:15:56,132 --> 00:15:58,441 Girls are wonderful! 210 00:15:58,652 --> 00:16:01,450 Imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be! 211 00:16:01,692 --> 00:16:02,841 Get dressed! 212 00:16:14,692 --> 00:16:16,125 I hate it here. 213 00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:18,966 Of course you hate it. People work here. 214 00:16:20,372 --> 00:16:23,284 Here, read this magazine. There are many pictures. 215 00:16:24,252 --> 00:16:25,844 Look how nobody ever smiles here. 216 00:16:26,532 --> 00:16:27,965 Why doesn't anybody ever smile here? 217 00:16:28,252 --> 00:16:30,049 They smile at lunchtime. 218 00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:34,643 Lower your voice, Arthur. And sit up. 219 00:16:39,852 --> 00:16:41,763 Stop being so nervous. 220 00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:45,965 Later on, we'll get ice cream. 221 00:16:50,452 --> 00:16:52,124 Your father will see you now. 222 00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:57,760 Come on, Hobson. 223 00:16:58,332 --> 00:17:00,004 He wants to see you alone. 224 00:17:07,812 --> 00:17:09,803 He gets all that money. 225 00:17:11,252 --> 00:17:14,324 Pays his family back by being a stinking drunk. 226 00:17:16,092 --> 00:17:17,525 It's enough to make you sick. 227 00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:20,929 I really wouldn't know, sir. I'm just a servant. 228 00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,685 On the other hand... 229 00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:25,371 ...go screw yourself. 230 00:17:30,452 --> 00:17:33,330 The press has a good time with you, Arthur. 231 00:17:37,252 --> 00:17:39,607 "Millionaire Drunk Playboy. " 232 00:17:43,292 --> 00:17:45,362 You're the weakest man I've ever known! 233 00:17:46,012 --> 00:17:47,809 I despise your weakness! 234 00:17:51,132 --> 00:17:53,043 I'm afraid we have to talk. 235 00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:59,128 I'm not going to marry her! I've told you a thousand times! 236 00:17:59,372 --> 00:18:03,365 Fine. If that's your decision, the family has no choice. 237 00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:06,002 I'm sorry, Arthur, very sorry. 238 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,130 But as of this moment, you are... 239 00:18:11,332 --> 00:18:12,242 ...cut off. 240 00:18:12,852 --> 00:18:14,649 You mean cut off from... 241 00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:16,564 ...you and Grandmother and the family? 242 00:18:21,332 --> 00:18:23,129 So you mean cut off from the... 243 00:18:26,492 --> 00:18:27,925 You don't mean cut off from the... 244 00:18:28,132 --> 00:18:29,804 The money, Arthur. 245 00:18:32,972 --> 00:18:35,930 Your grandmother and I have had all the papers drawn up. 246 00:18:36,212 --> 00:18:37,930 We want this marriage, Arthur. 247 00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:39,810 I want it. Burt Johnson wants it. 248 00:18:40,012 --> 00:18:41,331 Burt Johnson! 249 00:18:42,812 --> 00:18:44,131 He's a criminal! 250 00:18:44,572 --> 00:18:46,324 We all are, Arthur. 251 00:18:46,532 --> 00:18:48,045 And as you know... 252 00:18:49,132 --> 00:18:52,044 ...we usually get what we want. 253 00:18:52,572 --> 00:18:54,244 Frankly, Father, I'd rather starve. 254 00:18:55,252 --> 00:18:56,401 And I will. 255 00:18:57,492 --> 00:18:59,130 I'll get married when I fall in love. 256 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,806 Fine. I respect your integrity. 257 00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:04,726 You've just lost 750 million dollars. 258 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,042 Actually, Susan is a very nice girl. 259 00:19:10,372 --> 00:19:12,090 And she'll make a wonderful wife. 260 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,004 Yes, wonderful. 261 00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:17,728 Have you ever seen her face... 262 00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:20,963 ...when the light catches it just right? 263 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:22,964 She's really quite beautiful. 264 00:19:23,732 --> 00:19:26,326 Of course, you can't depend on that light. 265 00:19:26,572 --> 00:19:28,927 The wedding is a month from today. 266 00:19:29,732 --> 00:19:31,927 The invitations will be mailed tonight. 267 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,924 Ever taste her chicken? 268 00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:38,967 She does spectacular things with a chicken. 269 00:19:40,252 --> 00:19:42,846 And I love a chicken made at home. 270 00:19:44,812 --> 00:19:47,929 This is the ring your grandfather gave to your grandmother. 271 00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:52,010 She wants you to give it to Susan. 272 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,288 This is to marry one girl? 273 00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:58,527 Don't do this to me. 274 00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:02,008 I've been waiting for you to grow up. I can't wait any longer. 275 00:20:03,572 --> 00:20:05,802 Congratulations, Father, you win. 276 00:20:06,012 --> 00:20:08,446 I had every intention of winning. 277 00:20:08,732 --> 00:20:10,450 Congratulations to you, Arthur. 278 00:20:10,692 --> 00:20:13,286 You're going to be wealthy for the rest of your life. 279 00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:15,369 That's all I've ever wanted to be. 280 00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:26,009 I'll take three dozen of these shirts. Assorted colors. 281 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,407 I hate my father. 282 00:20:29,652 --> 00:20:31,688 Then purchase four dozen. 283 00:20:32,452 --> 00:20:33,805 Four dozen. 284 00:20:35,212 --> 00:20:36,042 And I want... 285 00:20:36,332 --> 00:20:38,721 ...14 of these sweaters, all green. 286 00:20:38,932 --> 00:20:40,524 - All green? - I don't wear sweaters. 287 00:20:40,972 --> 00:20:42,530 Send them to my address, will you? 288 00:20:44,772 --> 00:20:46,763 What else can I buy, Hobson? 289 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,282 Hobson! Did you see that?! 290 00:20:58,932 --> 00:21:00,001 She stole that tie! 291 00:21:00,212 --> 00:21:02,567 It's a perfect crime! Girls don't wear ties. 292 00:21:03,332 --> 00:21:06,529 Although some do. It's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime. 293 00:21:06,772 --> 00:21:09,605 If she murdered the tie it'd be a perfect crime. 294 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,524 Why are you so happy about all this? 295 00:21:13,932 --> 00:21:15,968 The man following her is a security guard. 296 00:21:16,212 --> 00:21:17,565 We've got to be calm! 297 00:21:17,932 --> 00:21:19,650 Isn't she beautiful? Jesus! 298 00:21:19,892 --> 00:21:22,360 May I ask what have we to do with this? 299 00:22:04,852 --> 00:22:06,046 I beg your pardon, miss. 300 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,567 I'm the security guard in the store. 301 00:22:09,692 --> 00:22:10,602 You don't need the badge. 302 00:22:10,852 --> 00:22:13,082 No customer would wear that jacket. 303 00:22:14,532 --> 00:22:15,851 I must look in the bag. 304 00:22:16,092 --> 00:22:17,730 I saw you put something in it. 305 00:22:20,492 --> 00:22:22,323 You got trouble, mister. 306 00:22:22,652 --> 00:22:25,405 You'll never work on the East Coast again. What's your name? 307 00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:26,806 She's sensational! 308 00:22:27,052 --> 00:22:29,691 She does have a certain Eleanor Roosevelt quality. 309 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,126 What's your address? 310 00:22:31,692 --> 00:22:33,648 The address, Chester! I'm not fooling! 311 00:22:33,932 --> 00:22:35,729 I saw you put a tie in that bag! 312 00:22:35,932 --> 00:22:37,251 What did you say?! 313 00:22:38,012 --> 00:22:39,809 All right, that's it! I want a cop! 314 00:22:40,052 --> 00:22:41,724 Get me a cop! We need a cop here! 315 00:22:41,972 --> 00:22:43,644 Don't move from where you are. 316 00:22:43,892 --> 00:22:45,405 I don't want you out of my sight! 317 00:22:45,652 --> 00:22:47,290 Get me a cop! Get your hands off me. 318 00:22:48,252 --> 00:22:50,163 I'm Arthur Bach. I'll straighten this out. 319 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:55,091 Mr. Bach, you really should stay out of this. 320 00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:57,169 Well, he's in it, Chester. Tell him, Alfred. 321 00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:00,402 I know this woman. We're shopping together. 322 00:23:00,652 --> 00:23:01,767 Where the hell have you been? 323 00:23:02,012 --> 00:23:03,570 I'm sorry darling. I got caught up. 324 00:23:03,772 --> 00:23:04,807 She's a friend, Mr. Bach? 325 00:23:05,012 --> 00:23:07,731 He just said that, Chester. You're such a schmuck. 326 00:23:08,292 --> 00:23:09,645 I asked her to pick out a tie. 327 00:23:09,852 --> 00:23:11,444 I was going to put it on my bill. 328 00:23:11,692 --> 00:23:14,126 - You didn't pay for it? - I forgot. I'm sorry. 329 00:23:15,892 --> 00:23:18,929 Chester, what can I say? I had no idea. 330 00:23:19,172 --> 00:23:20,890 May I look at the tie? 331 00:23:27,932 --> 00:23:30,127 Oh, God, that's really lovely. 332 00:23:30,372 --> 00:23:33,125 - I hope you like it. - You're really wonderful. 333 00:23:37,452 --> 00:23:39,249 Not in front of all these people, dear. 334 00:23:39,532 --> 00:23:40,851 They might think you're an animal. 335 00:23:41,092 --> 00:23:42,764 Mr. Bach, you understand, it's my job. 336 00:23:43,132 --> 00:23:45,930 Would you ask the lady at the counter to put this on my bill? 337 00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,006 I'll take care of it, Mr. Bach. Thank you very much. 338 00:24:00,052 --> 00:24:01,371 Were you scared? 339 00:24:09,292 --> 00:24:11,328 Why are you smiling at me like that? 340 00:24:13,492 --> 00:24:14,368 I see. 341 00:24:14,852 --> 00:24:16,331 You're a little strange... 342 00:24:16,572 --> 00:24:17,800 ...but cute. How are you? 343 00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:23,120 Have a nice day. Thank you very much. I'll go to the bus stop now. 344 00:24:25,772 --> 00:24:27,205 Why did you steal that tie? 345 00:24:27,892 --> 00:24:29,086 I don't know. 346 00:24:29,332 --> 00:24:30,765 I'm a wonderful person! 347 00:24:31,892 --> 00:24:33,120 I'm serious. 348 00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:36,287 I'll be with you in a minute. He's getting on my nerves. 349 00:24:39,372 --> 00:24:41,488 Will you stop smiling at me like that? 350 00:24:42,092 --> 00:24:44,322 You look like one of Santa's helpers. 351 00:24:46,012 --> 00:24:46,808 Is he with us? 352 00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:49,725 My name is Arthur, and this is Mr. Hobson. 353 00:24:49,972 --> 00:24:51,371 Good afternoon. 354 00:24:54,692 --> 00:24:56,364 Good afternoon? 355 00:24:57,172 --> 00:24:58,890 My name is Linda. 356 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:03,447 I'd like to thank you very much. You did a nice thing. 357 00:25:03,692 --> 00:25:05,523 That was an interesting kiss. 358 00:25:06,612 --> 00:25:09,331 - You kiss your wife like that? - I'm not married. 359 00:25:11,932 --> 00:25:16,084 Keep smiling. 688-5549. 360 00:25:16,652 --> 00:25:18,370 Don't expect big things on the first date. 361 00:25:18,612 --> 00:25:21,251 Yes, it's been a distinct pleasure meeting you. 362 00:25:21,492 --> 00:25:23,722 Arthur, we really must be going. 363 00:25:23,932 --> 00:25:25,923 Thank you for a memorable afternoon. 364 00:25:26,132 --> 00:25:30,330 Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature. 365 00:25:32,492 --> 00:25:33,811 Wouldn't it be funny if he called me? 366 00:25:34,252 --> 00:25:38,131 Arthur, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation. 367 00:25:38,332 --> 00:25:39,606 Unless you're planning... 368 00:25:39,812 --> 00:25:42,724 ...to knock over a fruit stand later in the evening. 369 00:25:43,012 --> 00:25:44,491 Good luck in prison. 370 00:25:46,692 --> 00:25:47,761 Who was the tie for? 371 00:25:48,172 --> 00:25:49,321 A guy. 372 00:25:49,572 --> 00:25:52,484 Look how he stopped smiling. My father. It's his birthday. 373 00:25:52,772 --> 00:25:53,966 What are you doing tomorrow night? 374 00:25:55,332 --> 00:25:56,287 I don't know. 375 00:25:56,732 --> 00:25:58,404 I have plans for tomorrow night. What should I wear? 376 00:25:58,612 --> 00:26:00,250 Steal something casual. 377 00:26:01,932 --> 00:26:04,127 - I like him. - Likewise, I'm sure. 378 00:26:04,332 --> 00:26:07,165 I'll have Bitterman drive you home. 379 00:26:10,932 --> 00:26:12,251 You don't have to do that. 380 00:26:12,492 --> 00:26:14,528 Bitterman doesn't have to take me. 381 00:26:18,652 --> 00:26:21,325 I really hardly ever take the bus, ever. 382 00:26:22,292 --> 00:26:25,125 - But it's so hard to get a cab. - Of course. 383 00:26:26,732 --> 00:26:28,404 I'm sure we know a lot of the same people. 384 00:26:28,652 --> 00:26:30,165 - Get in. - Right. 385 00:26:33,332 --> 00:26:36,210 Tell Bitterman where to take you. And make sure... 386 00:26:36,692 --> 00:26:39,081 ...you give him your address and phone number. 387 00:26:40,892 --> 00:26:42,723 Take care of her, Bitterman. 388 00:26:45,052 --> 00:26:46,041 Good afternoon! 389 00:26:55,212 --> 00:26:57,328 You'd think they'd never seen a car before. 390 00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:58,931 Hey lady, where did you get the car? 391 00:27:00,172 --> 00:27:02,970 Could you children please allow us our privacy? 392 00:27:06,852 --> 00:27:09,207 Could I sit here until one of my neighbors walks by? 393 00:27:09,692 --> 00:27:12,081 I want someone I know to see me get out of this. 394 00:27:12,412 --> 00:27:13,288 I understand. 395 00:27:15,292 --> 00:27:18,170 Here comes Mrs. Nesbit. This should kill her. 396 00:27:18,532 --> 00:27:20,409 Don't touch the door. I'll do it. 397 00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:24,728 Mrs. Nesbit deserves the entire treatment. 398 00:27:33,812 --> 00:27:35,211 Thank you, Bitterman. 399 00:27:36,612 --> 00:27:37,931 Well, hello, Mrs. Nesbit! 400 00:27:38,612 --> 00:27:40,125 Will that be all, madam? 401 00:27:40,372 --> 00:27:41,487 I think so. 402 00:27:42,092 --> 00:27:43,684 Have a nice evening, Mrs. Nesbit. 403 00:27:49,132 --> 00:27:51,521 - Could be a big tie. - It is a tie. 404 00:27:52,172 --> 00:27:54,527 Then guessing would be out of the question. 405 00:27:56,692 --> 00:27:58,410 - It is a tie! - Surprise! 406 00:27:59,332 --> 00:28:00,731 I love it! 407 00:28:03,052 --> 00:28:05,122 It goes with everything I own. 408 00:28:05,812 --> 00:28:06,608 I hope you like it. 409 00:28:06,812 --> 00:28:10,327 If I don't get a job soon, you may get it back on your birthday. 410 00:28:11,972 --> 00:28:13,121 Dad, shut up. 411 00:28:14,412 --> 00:28:16,721 A funny thing happened to me today. 412 00:28:19,972 --> 00:28:21,530 Do you know why... 413 00:28:21,772 --> 00:28:23,967 ...girls marry so badly? 414 00:28:25,852 --> 00:28:27,843 Is this a joke? Are these Polish girls? 415 00:28:30,772 --> 00:28:34,401 The reason is, there are so many girls... 416 00:28:37,692 --> 00:28:39,489 ...and so few princes. 417 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,286 You met a prince? 418 00:28:43,932 --> 00:28:46,605 I met a nice guy. With my help, he could become a prince. 419 00:28:46,852 --> 00:28:48,570 - Who is he? - Just a guy. 420 00:28:48,812 --> 00:28:50,006 What does he do? 421 00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:52,887 Nothing. 422 00:28:54,972 --> 00:28:58,328 Another beauty. How does he make a living? 423 00:28:59,812 --> 00:29:01,211 Look, I have to make dinner. 424 00:29:03,852 --> 00:29:06,161 I take it this bum will be calling you. 425 00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:10,560 Dad, he's a millionaire. 426 00:29:10,972 --> 00:29:13,327 You have my permission to marry him. 427 00:29:13,812 --> 00:29:15,325 Roses. Yellow. 428 00:29:15,572 --> 00:29:18,086 She'll drop dead. She'll love them. 429 00:29:19,212 --> 00:29:20,691 Yellow roses. Two dozen. 430 00:29:21,932 --> 00:29:23,570 I think something else would look nice too. 431 00:29:25,332 --> 00:29:27,050 Red roses. With the yellow. 432 00:29:27,372 --> 00:29:29,408 She won't know what hit her! You'll be aces with her. 433 00:29:30,532 --> 00:29:31,647 You're a nice boy. 434 00:29:31,892 --> 00:29:33,325 Two dozen red, okay? 435 00:29:33,892 --> 00:29:36,486 - Do you know what happened? - No, I don't. 436 00:29:36,732 --> 00:29:38,768 Yesterday I met her outside Bergdorf's. 437 00:29:40,012 --> 00:29:41,889 I can't stop thinking about her! 438 00:29:43,692 --> 00:29:44,727 Are you married? 439 00:29:45,132 --> 00:29:46,451 Once. She's alive. 440 00:29:47,052 --> 00:29:49,930 - What's that? - A yucca plant. 441 00:29:50,132 --> 00:29:51,770 - I'll take it. - How many? 442 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:53,242 Four. 443 00:29:53,452 --> 00:29:55,920 Where were you when I was selling cars? 444 00:29:56,292 --> 00:29:57,850 How did you know when you fell in love? 445 00:29:58,092 --> 00:29:59,411 How does anybody know? 446 00:29:59,772 --> 00:30:00,966 I was on a train. 447 00:30:01,212 --> 00:30:02,486 From Washington to New York. 448 00:30:02,692 --> 00:30:03,647 What's that? 449 00:30:03,892 --> 00:30:05,769 - A fern. You need five. - Right! 450 00:30:06,212 --> 00:30:10,285 A girl got on the train. Skinny. She gave me a smile. 451 00:30:11,772 --> 00:30:14,002 By Baltimore, I was a dead duck. 452 00:30:14,692 --> 00:30:17,445 Did you whistle a lot? I find I whistle! 453 00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:18,767 I whistled. 454 00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:23,282 Did you feel funny? I feel funny. 455 00:30:24,612 --> 00:30:26,045 You may have a cold. 456 00:30:28,892 --> 00:30:32,726 Send all this and anything else you can think of to this address. 457 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:35,970 Send 2 dozen roses to your wife. 458 00:30:36,212 --> 00:30:37,645 The skinny one on the train. 459 00:30:39,892 --> 00:30:41,120 Here, keep the change. 460 00:30:42,572 --> 00:30:43,527 You're the rich one? 461 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:45,286 The one who drinks? 462 00:30:47,052 --> 00:30:49,612 How does it feel to have all that money? 463 00:30:50,412 --> 00:30:51,891 It feels great. 464 00:30:54,452 --> 00:30:56,283 A dumb question. 465 00:30:57,132 --> 00:30:58,929 What do you do? I've never asked. 466 00:30:59,132 --> 00:31:02,408 I'm an actress. I mean, I'm studying to be one. 467 00:31:04,012 --> 00:31:05,206 But I'm working as a waitress. 468 00:31:05,452 --> 00:31:07,249 A lot of talented girls do that. 469 00:31:08,052 --> 00:31:09,451 What's it like being a waitress? 470 00:31:09,692 --> 00:31:11,569 It's fun. I mean, you know. 471 00:31:15,572 --> 00:31:17,722 This guy came in and pulled out... 472 00:31:23,892 --> 00:31:27,123 A guy came into the diner and pulled out... 473 00:31:35,692 --> 00:31:38,126 - He pulled out what? - Pulled out a gun! 474 00:31:45,052 --> 00:31:46,007 I love this song! 475 00:31:46,252 --> 00:31:47,731 I love it too! 476 00:31:55,932 --> 00:31:57,047 When do I get a turn? 477 00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:59,806 Can't you see I'm going for a new world's record? 478 00:32:00,092 --> 00:32:03,129 After only 12 games, I have 80 coupons! 479 00:32:04,652 --> 00:32:07,928 I knew it would be different spending an evening with a millionaire. 480 00:32:10,172 --> 00:32:13,881 Two more and I'm 20 for 20! That's another 35 coupons! 481 00:32:17,652 --> 00:32:20,325 Could we have a little quiet here? 482 00:32:21,652 --> 00:32:23,085 You nut! 483 00:32:28,332 --> 00:32:29,765 Look at him with his gun. 484 00:32:31,572 --> 00:32:33,130 Are you cute! 485 00:32:37,292 --> 00:32:38,691 God, I missed! 486 00:32:38,892 --> 00:32:39,688 Nineteen. 487 00:32:41,772 --> 00:32:44,002 For 19, you get 15 coupons. 488 00:32:48,812 --> 00:32:50,404 We really have to go now. 489 00:32:55,492 --> 00:32:56,971 Space Invaders! 490 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,802 Do you want the orange one? 491 00:33:09,372 --> 00:33:10,327 Enjoy it! 492 00:33:11,012 --> 00:33:12,365 Now take care of it. 493 00:33:12,612 --> 00:33:13,806 I already named it! 494 00:33:14,012 --> 00:33:17,925 I named it after my grandmother on my mother's side. 495 00:33:18,332 --> 00:33:19,606 Arthur. 496 00:33:25,052 --> 00:33:27,247 Here's a rose. I stole it from the restaurant. 497 00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:30,721 Thank you. 498 00:33:32,092 --> 00:33:34,162 I've never taken care of anyone. 499 00:33:34,972 --> 00:33:37,884 Everyone's always taken care of me. 500 00:33:39,132 --> 00:33:42,010 But if you got sick, or anything... 501 00:33:43,492 --> 00:33:44,845 ...I'd take care of you. 502 00:33:46,012 --> 00:33:47,491 Then I'll get sick. 503 00:34:04,652 --> 00:34:07,724 This Vermeer just arrived today. 504 00:34:09,452 --> 00:34:10,771 It's called... 505 00:34:11,572 --> 00:34:14,564 ..."Woman Admiring Pearls. " 506 00:34:15,332 --> 00:34:18,324 The dealer jerked me around on the price a little. 507 00:34:18,572 --> 00:34:20,369 But what the hell. 508 00:34:20,572 --> 00:34:21,766 We live once. 509 00:34:26,252 --> 00:34:27,526 Martha... 510 00:34:29,932 --> 00:34:31,809 What's the matter, Arthur? 511 00:34:35,372 --> 00:34:37,727 I can't marry Susan Johnson. 512 00:34:39,372 --> 00:34:42,091 - Really? - I met this girl! 513 00:34:44,372 --> 00:34:48,206 You are a charming boy. Unfortunately... 514 00:34:48,412 --> 00:34:51,768 ...every time you have an erection, it makes the papers. 515 00:34:53,332 --> 00:34:57,007 Goodness! I sound like a dime novel. 516 00:34:58,572 --> 00:34:59,846 Peanuts! 517 00:35:04,732 --> 00:35:07,724 Isn't my grandson handsome, Harriet? 518 00:35:07,972 --> 00:35:09,724 - Yes. - Thank you, Harriet. 519 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:15,886 Is it wonderful to be... 520 00:35:17,052 --> 00:35:18,087 ...promiscuous? 521 00:35:19,732 --> 00:35:22,929 At your age, Martha, it might just be dangerous. 522 00:35:31,252 --> 00:35:32,970 Who is she? This one you met. 523 00:35:34,572 --> 00:35:36,244 I don't know. 524 00:35:36,732 --> 00:35:39,041 She lives in Queens. She's nobody. 525 00:35:41,092 --> 00:35:43,526 But there's something about her, Martha. 526 00:35:50,932 --> 00:35:52,570 Make no mistakes. 527 00:35:53,732 --> 00:35:56,644 You are too old to be poor. 528 00:35:56,972 --> 00:35:59,361 You don't know how. 529 00:36:00,572 --> 00:36:02,927 We are ruthless people. 530 00:36:03,212 --> 00:36:05,487 Don't screw with us. 531 00:36:07,732 --> 00:36:08,847 Arthur, I love you. 532 00:36:09,052 --> 00:36:12,442 If you don't marry Susan I'll cut you off without a cent. 533 00:36:16,892 --> 00:36:19,406 You're a scary old broad, Martha. 534 00:36:20,492 --> 00:36:23,404 And you are a delightful child. 535 00:36:24,932 --> 00:36:29,005 Marry Susan and cheat with the nobody from Queens. 536 00:36:41,812 --> 00:36:44,121 How are you? I got off work early. 537 00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:46,482 Listen, do you like lasagna? 538 00:36:46,972 --> 00:36:48,963 - Yeah. - Oh, thank God. 539 00:36:53,612 --> 00:36:55,523 I know this is last minute... 540 00:36:57,052 --> 00:36:59,202 ...but something came up. I can't make it tonight. 541 00:36:59,812 --> 00:37:01,723 Fine. No problem. What? 542 00:37:02,892 --> 00:37:04,962 Listen, the truth is... 543 00:37:05,532 --> 00:37:07,170 ...I'm getting engaged tonight. 544 00:37:08,052 --> 00:37:10,361 The easiest thing would be to lie, but I like you... 545 00:37:10,612 --> 00:37:13,649 Look, no sweat. We had some laughs. Good luck... 546 00:37:13,852 --> 00:37:15,843 I wanted to tell you the other night, but I... 547 00:37:16,052 --> 00:37:19,010 Don't worry about it. I have to go. Okay? Bye. 548 00:37:28,132 --> 00:37:29,326 Would you like a beer? I'll get you a beer. 549 00:37:29,532 --> 00:37:31,568 I'll be all right, sweetheart. 550 00:37:32,332 --> 00:37:35,051 I just have to be alone for a minute. 551 00:37:35,572 --> 00:37:37,767 Oh, God! I can't bear it. 552 00:37:39,252 --> 00:37:40,480 Come in. 553 00:37:42,972 --> 00:37:44,690 Shall I get the car, Mr. Bach? 554 00:37:45,132 --> 00:37:46,201 No thanks, Bitterman. 555 00:37:48,132 --> 00:37:50,646 Tonight I'll drive myself. 556 00:37:51,372 --> 00:37:53,488 How often does a young man get engaged? 557 00:37:54,332 --> 00:37:55,128 Where's Mr. Hobson? 558 00:37:55,772 --> 00:37:59,048 Mr. Hobson was tired, sir. He's resting. 559 00:37:59,572 --> 00:38:01,324 He's been tired quite a bit lately. 560 00:38:01,892 --> 00:38:03,610 I'm sure he's fine, sir. 561 00:38:15,332 --> 00:38:16,606 Will you cut it out? 562 00:38:17,932 --> 00:38:20,924 I didn't mean to tell you, but I've got a tumor. 563 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:22,406 Did the lights go off? 564 00:38:22,652 --> 00:38:24,290 Just talk to me, okay? 565 00:38:24,932 --> 00:38:26,524 With a tumor in my head? 566 00:38:27,812 --> 00:38:29,245 Listen, Arthur. 567 00:38:32,292 --> 00:38:35,364 There are three books... This is important. 568 00:38:36,292 --> 00:38:37,725 Take them back... 569 00:38:38,932 --> 00:38:40,206 ...to the library. 570 00:38:50,892 --> 00:38:54,168 Don't die anymore. It's getting very boring. 571 00:38:54,772 --> 00:38:57,844 I've only got a cold. Now go and get engaged. 572 00:38:59,172 --> 00:39:02,164 I just told Linda I was getting engaged. 573 00:39:02,372 --> 00:39:03,851 I don't know why. 574 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:07,721 A tart like that could save you a fortune in prostitutes. 575 00:39:08,532 --> 00:39:09,851 Listen, old man. 576 00:39:10,812 --> 00:39:13,246 Don't ever talk about her that way again. 577 00:39:13,492 --> 00:39:15,642 She's the best person I know! 578 00:39:15,892 --> 00:39:18,725 Goddamn it, why are you such a snob?! 579 00:39:37,692 --> 00:39:40,843 I raised my voice to you. I've never done that before. 580 00:39:41,092 --> 00:39:42,650 That's quite all right. 581 00:39:44,372 --> 00:39:46,727 You know, you may be growing up. 582 00:39:48,092 --> 00:39:50,731 And I'm sorry for what I said about Linda. 583 00:39:52,852 --> 00:39:54,126 Do you want anything? 584 00:39:55,132 --> 00:39:56,645 I want to be younger. 585 00:39:56,892 --> 00:39:59,201 I'm sorry. It's your job to be older. 586 00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:23,531 - Good evening, Mr. Bach. - Good evening, Mr. Butler. 587 00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:25,410 I'm here to get engaged. 588 00:41:25,652 --> 00:41:27,324 Won't you come in, sir? 589 00:41:28,772 --> 00:41:30,046 How are you? 590 00:41:32,092 --> 00:41:34,890 Susan! You get down here this minute! 591 00:41:35,532 --> 00:41:38,729 Miss Susan is expecting you. She's dressing. 592 00:41:39,172 --> 00:41:41,003 I will inform her you're here. 593 00:41:41,252 --> 00:41:43,766 Tell her Chief Inspector Flanigan from homicide is here. 594 00:41:44,012 --> 00:41:46,128 That should get her down in a hurry. 595 00:41:49,132 --> 00:41:51,407 Nothing. Offer to take my coat. 596 00:41:51,612 --> 00:41:53,250 You don't have a coat. 597 00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:55,728 Well, offer to take my tie. 598 00:41:58,252 --> 00:41:59,685 It's a little joke. 599 00:42:00,532 --> 00:42:01,931 Take the rest of the week off. 600 00:42:02,132 --> 00:42:04,123 You're obviously under a lot of tension. 601 00:42:04,332 --> 00:42:06,243 Would you care to wait in the library? 602 00:42:06,452 --> 00:42:09,125 Yes! The bathroom is out of the question! 603 00:42:12,972 --> 00:42:14,928 That's another little joke. 604 00:42:15,532 --> 00:42:17,488 Follow me, please. 605 00:42:18,372 --> 00:42:21,728 I'm a little nervous. I'm getting engaged. 606 00:42:23,532 --> 00:42:25,011 You may wait in here. 607 00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:26,122 Thank you! 608 00:42:26,772 --> 00:42:30,526 Is there anything you care for while you wait? 609 00:42:30,852 --> 00:42:34,322 Do you have today's Pravda? I like to keep up with Russia. 610 00:42:36,692 --> 00:42:38,171 Then fill a glass with scotch. 611 00:42:38,412 --> 00:42:41,529 Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic? 612 00:42:49,212 --> 00:42:52,522 Marty, he's pouring a drink. I'll get back to you! 613 00:42:55,412 --> 00:42:59,405 If you're going to be like that, let's call the whole thing off! 614 00:43:01,652 --> 00:43:03,210 God, these people! 615 00:43:04,172 --> 00:43:07,323 I'm glad we had this time together. You're a funny guy. 616 00:43:07,572 --> 00:43:09,164 You have that trouble too? 617 00:43:19,092 --> 00:43:21,925 This must be awfully embarrassing for you. 618 00:43:35,812 --> 00:43:36,608 Hello, Arthur. 619 00:43:37,132 --> 00:43:38,281 Hello, Mr. Johnson. 620 00:43:38,852 --> 00:43:40,410 I haven't seen you lately. 621 00:43:42,132 --> 00:43:44,521 The reason you haven't seen me is because... 622 00:43:44,732 --> 00:43:47,849 ...I normally pick Susan up at her apartment in town. 623 00:43:48,092 --> 00:43:50,526 And you live here. Want a drink? 624 00:43:50,732 --> 00:43:52,211 I never drink. 625 00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:55,288 - No one in my family drinks. - That's great! 626 00:43:55,492 --> 00:43:58,882 You probably never run out of ice your whole life. 627 00:44:00,532 --> 00:44:04,366 I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making. 628 00:44:04,612 --> 00:44:07,410 You may be right. I can't decide. 629 00:44:10,412 --> 00:44:12,528 That's just a little humor. 630 00:44:13,172 --> 00:44:14,924 Where's the rest of this moose? 631 00:44:15,252 --> 00:44:18,722 Arthur, I think it's time we got to know one another. 632 00:44:18,932 --> 00:44:21,765 I do too. That's why I had you come over today. 633 00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:26,285 This is a tough room. 634 00:44:26,532 --> 00:44:28,727 I don't have to tell you that. 635 00:44:28,932 --> 00:44:30,570 You must have hated this moose. 636 00:44:30,812 --> 00:44:34,361 Why don't you forget the moose for a moment?! 637 00:44:37,612 --> 00:44:38,840 Right. 638 00:44:43,172 --> 00:44:44,321 You know... 639 00:44:44,572 --> 00:44:47,006 ...I didn't inherit money like you did. 640 00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:48,924 I started with nothing. 641 00:44:49,932 --> 00:44:50,842 And yet... 642 00:44:51,932 --> 00:44:54,571 ...I was a millionaire by the time I was 18. 643 00:44:55,492 --> 00:44:58,325 Anyone stood in my way, they got hurt. 644 00:45:01,652 --> 00:45:03,768 When I was 11 years old... 645 00:45:04,892 --> 00:45:06,291 ...I killed a man. 646 00:45:08,572 --> 00:45:12,360 When you're 11, you don't even know there's a law against that. 647 00:45:12,972 --> 00:45:14,564 Is Susan here? 648 00:45:14,812 --> 00:45:17,770 I knew what I was doing. We were poor. 649 00:45:19,532 --> 00:45:22,729 He came into our house to steal our food. 650 00:45:22,972 --> 00:45:24,963 Well, he was asking for it. 651 00:45:26,812 --> 00:45:28,325 I took a knife... 652 00:45:29,212 --> 00:45:31,521 ...and I killed him in the kitchen. 653 00:45:36,412 --> 00:45:38,721 You probably ate out that night. 654 00:45:38,972 --> 00:45:41,850 I mean, with that man lying in your kitchen. 655 00:45:42,132 --> 00:45:45,681 - You seem to find humor in everything. - Yes, sorry. 656 00:45:45,892 --> 00:45:47,007 - Arthur! - What? 657 00:45:48,172 --> 00:45:51,721 Do you know what I consider to be my most precious possession? 658 00:45:54,572 --> 00:45:56,210 My daughter. 659 00:45:57,132 --> 00:45:58,326 She is my gold. 660 00:45:58,812 --> 00:46:01,724 - She is my treasure. - She's very nice. 661 00:46:01,972 --> 00:46:04,406 And I protect what's mine. 662 00:46:05,372 --> 00:46:08,091 And I do it in an ugly way. 663 00:46:10,372 --> 00:46:14,206 - I'm from the gutter. - I understand. The gutter. 664 00:46:14,452 --> 00:46:15,646 You seem upset. 665 00:46:15,892 --> 00:46:17,723 Now, Susan loves you. 666 00:46:19,012 --> 00:46:21,321 And I want you to make her happy. 667 00:46:22,812 --> 00:46:25,280 You can count on it. 668 00:46:25,612 --> 00:46:28,285 I insist upon you making her happy. 669 00:46:30,612 --> 00:46:32,125 Listen. 670 00:46:33,732 --> 00:46:35,563 What happens... 671 00:46:35,812 --> 00:46:37,404 ...this is just hypothetical... 672 00:46:37,612 --> 00:46:41,400 ...if I don't make her happy? Which is out of the question! 673 00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:44,326 But let's just say... 674 00:46:44,572 --> 00:46:46,130 ...I make her... 675 00:46:46,332 --> 00:46:47,685 ...cranky? 676 00:46:48,652 --> 00:46:52,122 For cranky, I guess you'd probably just break my ankles. 677 00:46:52,812 --> 00:46:54,211 Something like that. 678 00:46:56,092 --> 00:46:57,650 You'll make her happy. 679 00:46:57,852 --> 00:46:59,570 I don't like your drinking. 680 00:47:00,172 --> 00:47:02,083 It makes you unreasonable. 681 00:47:04,252 --> 00:47:05,651 I want you to go to work. 682 00:47:06,012 --> 00:47:09,925 Now, your father and I talked about it. I want you... 683 00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:11,925 ...to work for me. 684 00:47:12,172 --> 00:47:15,130 Is this it? She's not happy already? 685 00:47:15,452 --> 00:47:17,010 Susan loves you. 686 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:19,605 So I love you. 687 00:47:19,852 --> 00:47:22,002 You'll find me a friend. 688 00:47:22,732 --> 00:47:24,324 Don't you get it? 689 00:47:24,772 --> 00:47:25,966 You can get drunk. 690 00:47:26,292 --> 00:47:27,520 You can throw up. 691 00:47:27,732 --> 00:47:30,121 You can forget to call me for months. 692 00:47:30,372 --> 00:47:32,044 You can't lose with me. 693 00:47:32,612 --> 00:47:34,409 I know you too well. 694 00:47:34,652 --> 00:47:36,722 And I'm much stronger than you are. 695 00:47:38,292 --> 00:47:40,567 I know how alone you are. 696 00:47:41,452 --> 00:47:43,408 I hate how alone you are. 697 00:47:43,892 --> 00:47:46,486 I've cried because you're so alone. 698 00:47:48,212 --> 00:47:49,850 Don't be afraid, Arthur. 699 00:47:51,092 --> 00:47:53,526 You're never going to be alone again. 700 00:47:54,292 --> 00:47:55,611 Waiter! 701 00:47:57,212 --> 00:47:59,567 I'll have another. You want another fish? 702 00:47:59,812 --> 00:48:01,086 Don't drink anymore. 703 00:48:05,652 --> 00:48:07,051 You're such an asshole! 704 00:48:10,132 --> 00:48:11,565 This is what I am! 705 00:48:12,772 --> 00:48:15,332 Everyone who drinks is not a poet. 706 00:48:17,572 --> 00:48:20,484 Some of us drink because we're not poets. 707 00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:24,851 A real woman could stop you from drinking. 708 00:48:25,052 --> 00:48:27,043 It'd have to be a real big woman. 709 00:48:28,652 --> 00:48:30,005 Will you take my hand? 710 00:48:30,212 --> 00:48:32,123 That would leave you with one! 711 00:48:32,732 --> 00:48:34,768 Sorry. Here's the hand. 712 00:48:38,012 --> 00:48:39,730 I love you, Arthur. 713 00:48:40,332 --> 00:48:43,210 Good! I have to talk to the waiter now. 714 00:48:43,812 --> 00:48:47,441 My doctor advised me to drink 10 of these an hour. 715 00:48:47,692 --> 00:48:49,648 I understand, Mr. Bach. 716 00:49:09,412 --> 00:49:13,121 This is the ring my grandfather gave to my grandmother. 717 00:49:16,212 --> 00:49:18,442 Then he died. 718 00:49:18,692 --> 00:49:21,252 And subsequently, she gave it to me. 719 00:49:21,452 --> 00:49:23,443 I'll always love you. 720 00:49:24,172 --> 00:49:25,844 It's a great ring, isn't it? 721 00:49:26,132 --> 00:49:27,724 It's a beautiful ring. 722 00:49:28,892 --> 00:49:30,530 It's a magical night. 723 00:49:33,612 --> 00:49:37,048 Do you have any objection to naming a child Vladimir? 724 00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:38,847 Even a girl? 725 00:49:39,292 --> 00:49:40,930 Ask me. 726 00:49:44,572 --> 00:49:47,211 Will you marry me? Take the weekend if you want. 727 00:49:48,212 --> 00:49:49,691 Congratulations! 728 00:49:53,132 --> 00:49:56,169 Would you mind if I took you home? 729 00:49:56,772 --> 00:49:59,525 I've got a terrible headache. I'm sorry. 730 00:50:39,772 --> 00:50:41,683 This must be the building. 731 00:51:02,972 --> 00:51:05,850 I hope it's not late. Who am I talking to? 732 00:51:06,172 --> 00:51:07,924 It's me, it's me. 733 00:51:09,052 --> 00:51:10,963 - What do you want? - Oh, shit! 734 00:51:12,012 --> 00:51:14,606 I'm sorry to have disturbed you, madam. 735 00:51:14,852 --> 00:51:17,810 I was looking for Linda. I hope it's the wrong house. No offense. 736 00:51:18,052 --> 00:51:19,849 My husband has a gun! 737 00:51:20,052 --> 00:51:21,849 I'm sure he has, madam. 738 00:51:23,092 --> 00:51:25,845 For all I know, he shot it while you screamed. 739 00:51:26,052 --> 00:51:27,770 Perry! Come over here! 740 00:51:28,012 --> 00:51:29,764 This man wants to know where Linda lives! 741 00:51:30,012 --> 00:51:33,891 She lives at 14133, Apartment A, next door. 742 00:51:34,732 --> 00:51:37,690 You tell a total stranger that? You don't know who he is. 743 00:51:37,932 --> 00:51:39,650 - He looks okay. - Right, get over here! 744 00:51:41,972 --> 00:51:44,042 She's terrible! Does she always hit you like that? 745 00:51:44,292 --> 00:51:45,520 Yeah, what can I do? 746 00:51:45,772 --> 00:51:47,125 Mind your business! 747 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:50,887 For God's sake, she's going to kill you! Get in there! 748 00:51:51,132 --> 00:51:54,647 Give her a shot! It's you against her, Perry! 749 00:51:55,412 --> 00:51:56,640 Oh, God! 750 00:51:57,572 --> 00:51:58,846 It's horrible! 751 00:51:59,092 --> 00:52:00,366 Horrible! 752 00:52:03,012 --> 00:52:04,843 You shouldn't hear this. 753 00:52:09,372 --> 00:52:10,521 God! 754 00:52:18,932 --> 00:52:20,843 Perry, you're a dead man. 755 00:52:32,252 --> 00:52:33,731 Pardon me. 756 00:52:34,092 --> 00:52:35,605 Oh, you're a hedge. 757 00:52:39,172 --> 00:52:41,561 - You must be Linda's father. - It's kind of late. 758 00:52:41,812 --> 00:52:44,326 Although I wasn't sleeping myself. 759 00:52:44,572 --> 00:52:46,483 Oh, nice to meet you, Arthur. 760 00:52:47,932 --> 00:52:48,921 Hi, Linda! 761 00:52:50,172 --> 00:52:53,050 Can I come in? Don't you hate Perry's wife? 762 00:52:53,292 --> 00:52:54,520 Let him in. 763 00:52:58,012 --> 00:52:59,650 Linda, I've missed... 764 00:53:01,612 --> 00:53:03,762 Sorry, Linda. I'm sorry. 765 00:53:05,012 --> 00:53:06,525 Really. 766 00:53:07,812 --> 00:53:09,404 It happens. 767 00:53:17,292 --> 00:53:18,805 What's the matter with you? 768 00:53:20,972 --> 00:53:23,532 Nobody knocks on a door at 3:00 in the morning! 769 00:53:23,772 --> 00:53:26,366 You're so drunk, you can hardly stand up. 770 00:53:26,612 --> 00:53:28,170 And you're engaged! 771 00:54:08,212 --> 00:54:09,850 This is a goner. 772 00:54:12,892 --> 00:54:14,530 I'm going to sleep. 773 00:54:19,292 --> 00:54:23,649 You come here at 3 o'clock in the morning to say goodbye? 774 00:54:23,852 --> 00:54:27,731 I have to get up and go to work in the morning. Stop kidding around! 775 00:54:27,972 --> 00:54:29,849 Will you stop kissing me! 776 00:54:32,292 --> 00:54:34,931 I'm sure you're not going to want to be a waitress... 777 00:54:35,172 --> 00:54:36,241 ...for the rest of your life. 778 00:54:36,492 --> 00:54:37,971 I am studying to be an actress. 779 00:54:38,212 --> 00:54:40,123 - You told me. - Well, I am. 780 00:54:44,772 --> 00:54:46,410 This is for you... 781 00:54:46,652 --> 00:54:48,927 ...your father... 782 00:54:49,292 --> 00:54:51,328 ...and your acting career. 783 00:54:52,972 --> 00:54:54,883 Please take it and I'll go. 784 00:55:01,572 --> 00:55:03,483 $ 100,000. 785 00:55:10,932 --> 00:55:12,524 We don't need your money. 786 00:55:13,172 --> 00:55:14,890 Linda, it'll help you. 787 00:55:15,092 --> 00:55:17,128 Look what it's done for you. 788 00:55:17,332 --> 00:55:20,130 Tell your story walking, before I call a cop! 789 00:55:20,332 --> 00:55:22,129 Get out of here! 790 00:55:25,812 --> 00:55:27,245 Closet. 791 00:55:32,612 --> 00:55:34,125 I know. 792 00:55:52,092 --> 00:55:53,684 Want to take her for a spin, Hobson? 793 00:55:54,132 --> 00:55:55,611 No, thank you, Arthur. 794 00:55:56,532 --> 00:55:59,490 Mr. Bach, be sure you call me anytime you need the track. 795 00:55:59,732 --> 00:56:01,723 - Take it easy. - Thank you. 796 00:56:08,092 --> 00:56:09,525 Do you know how miserable I am? 797 00:56:09,732 --> 00:56:13,520 You're miserable? I've got all this and I'm on a salary. 798 00:56:13,772 --> 00:56:15,490 ARTHUR 3 799 00:56:20,492 --> 00:56:23,404 Do you know the worst part? The worst part of being me? 800 00:56:23,652 --> 00:56:25,722 I should imagine your breath. 801 00:56:26,372 --> 00:56:28,522 Let me be unhappy, will you? 802 00:56:29,412 --> 00:56:31,004 You know, Hobson... 803 00:56:32,012 --> 00:56:34,207 ...I could love somebody. 804 00:56:36,212 --> 00:56:37,725 I never got to love anybody! 805 00:56:38,892 --> 00:56:43,249 What do I have to live for? I'm a failure. I'm just in the way. 806 00:56:43,572 --> 00:56:45,563 Would you remove your helmet, please? 807 00:56:45,772 --> 00:56:47,524 - Why? - Please. 808 00:56:51,812 --> 00:56:52,961 Thank you. 809 00:56:53,212 --> 00:56:54,281 Now your goggles. 810 00:56:54,532 --> 00:56:56,329 - Why? - Please. 811 00:57:01,692 --> 00:57:03,330 You spoiled little bastard! 812 00:57:03,852 --> 00:57:07,322 You're a man who has everything. But that's not enough. 813 00:57:08,572 --> 00:57:12,326 You feel unloved? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved! 814 00:57:13,372 --> 00:57:16,808 Stop feeling sorry for yourself. And incidentally, I love you. 815 00:57:17,532 --> 00:57:19,762 Marry Susan, Arthur. 816 00:57:20,572 --> 00:57:23,723 Poor drunks do not find love. 817 00:57:24,372 --> 00:57:27,967 Poor drunks have very few teeth. They urinate outdoors. 818 00:57:28,212 --> 00:57:30,282 They freeze to death in summer. 819 00:57:31,612 --> 00:57:33,364 I can't bear to think of you that way. 820 00:57:33,612 --> 00:57:35,250 I need Linda, Hobson. 821 00:57:35,492 --> 00:57:36,607 I see. 822 00:57:37,212 --> 00:57:39,965 Well, perhaps fate will lend a hand, Arthur. 823 00:57:40,612 --> 00:57:42,170 One never knows. 824 00:57:44,572 --> 00:57:45,846 Good afternoon? 825 00:57:46,372 --> 00:57:47,930 May I come in? 826 00:57:48,612 --> 00:57:51,922 If you and your undershirt would walk two paces backwards... 827 00:57:52,252 --> 00:57:53,844 ...I could enter this dwelling. 828 00:58:15,732 --> 00:58:17,484 How revolting. 829 00:58:21,932 --> 00:58:24,924 Look who's here. The British Tonto. 830 00:58:25,612 --> 00:58:27,364 How are you? How's Arthur? 831 00:58:27,772 --> 00:58:30,047 Ever since I met Arthur, I liked him. 832 00:58:30,292 --> 00:58:33,602 We have to make sure these two wonderful kids stay together. 833 00:58:33,812 --> 00:58:34,881 Who is this person? 834 00:58:37,252 --> 00:58:40,050 - He's my father. - Yes, and I'd like to say that... 835 00:58:40,252 --> 00:58:41,526 Try not to speak. 836 00:58:41,732 --> 00:58:44,610 Would you get me a cup of tea? I wish to speak to Linda. 837 00:58:45,172 --> 00:58:46,525 Sure. 838 00:58:48,812 --> 00:58:51,246 There is an engagement party tonight... 839 00:58:51,492 --> 00:58:54,325 ...at Arthur's father's house in Southampton. 840 00:58:54,772 --> 00:58:57,730 Here is the address. Perhaps you should attend. 841 00:58:58,132 --> 00:58:59,850 Are all the ones he passed up coming? 842 00:59:00,052 --> 00:59:02,168 Young woman, this is a tie you cannot steal! 843 00:59:03,412 --> 00:59:05,482 This is a tie you'll have to work for. 844 00:59:05,732 --> 00:59:09,008 Are you inviting me to Arthur's engagement party? 845 00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,328 This is not an invitation. 846 00:59:11,612 --> 00:59:12,931 However... 847 00:59:13,332 --> 00:59:16,608 ...if there's one thing that old gentlemen can still do... 848 00:59:16,852 --> 00:59:20,003 ...they can still spot young gentlemen in love. 849 00:59:21,172 --> 00:59:23,128 Please go to the party. 850 00:59:23,772 --> 00:59:24,921 Are you all right? 851 00:59:25,132 --> 00:59:26,963 Yes, I'm fine. 852 00:59:35,252 --> 00:59:36,765 Does Arthur know you're here? 853 00:59:37,012 --> 00:59:40,084 No, Arthur is far too fine a person to be involved... 854 00:59:40,332 --> 00:59:42,482 ...in something as devious as this. 855 00:59:43,212 --> 00:59:45,521 You really look out for him, don't you? 856 00:59:45,972 --> 00:59:49,408 And it is a job that I recommend highly. 857 00:59:50,852 --> 00:59:52,001 I have something for you. 858 00:59:52,212 --> 00:59:53,042 For me? 859 01:00:01,292 --> 01:00:02,441 What is it? 860 01:00:02,692 --> 01:00:05,331 If I told you, it would spoil the surprise. 861 01:00:05,532 --> 01:00:07,045 Don't open it. 862 01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:09,161 Here's your tea. 863 01:00:09,412 --> 01:00:11,323 I despise tea. 864 01:00:11,532 --> 01:00:13,727 Would you bring me 2 aspirin from the bathroom? 865 01:00:14,972 --> 01:00:19,488 You'll find them on the top shelf, behind the untouched shaving cream. 866 01:00:31,452 --> 01:00:33,443 That sounds bad. Have you seen a doctor? 867 01:00:34,372 --> 01:00:36,124 Yes. 868 01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,129 And he has seen me. 869 01:00:42,572 --> 01:00:44,051 You know... 870 01:00:47,412 --> 01:00:49,562 ...I think Arthur has a very good friend. 871 01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:53,725 May I kiss you on the cheek? 872 01:00:54,012 --> 01:00:55,923 Is it something you feel strongly about? 873 01:01:04,972 --> 01:01:06,485 What about your aspirins? 874 01:01:07,132 --> 01:01:09,521 The aspirins are for you, my dear. 875 01:02:34,652 --> 01:02:35,607 Hello. 876 01:02:37,412 --> 01:02:38,686 Good evening. 877 01:02:47,492 --> 01:02:49,608 God knows when I'll see you again. 878 01:02:50,052 --> 01:02:52,566 Arthur, will you play something for us? 879 01:03:18,492 --> 01:03:21,450 - Don't you hate these things? - Despise them. 880 01:03:21,652 --> 01:03:23,563 Actually, seriously... 881 01:03:24,572 --> 01:03:26,881 ...songs come and go. 882 01:03:27,172 --> 01:03:29,527 But I love the classics. 883 01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:31,883 And I hope you'll enjoy this one. 884 01:03:43,892 --> 01:03:45,484 You'd better watch out 885 01:03:46,692 --> 01:03:48,523 You'd better not cry 886 01:03:50,012 --> 01:03:52,207 Are you good friends with Arthur? 887 01:03:52,532 --> 01:03:54,011 For ages. 888 01:03:54,252 --> 01:03:58,165 I'm so pleased he finally found the right woman. Where is she? 889 01:03:59,052 --> 01:03:59,848 Over there. 890 01:04:00,052 --> 01:04:01,963 Isn't she just beautiful? 891 01:04:02,212 --> 01:04:03,167 Of course she is. 892 01:04:03,732 --> 01:04:05,643 Why would Arthur marry a dog? 893 01:04:05,852 --> 01:04:06,728 Pardon? 894 01:04:06,932 --> 01:04:09,241 Santa Claus is coming to town 895 01:04:13,612 --> 01:04:15,921 How does it feel to be getting married? 896 01:04:17,052 --> 01:04:18,371 Blue Moon 897 01:04:19,492 --> 01:04:21,562 You saw me standing alone 898 01:04:24,252 --> 01:04:26,322 Without a dream in my heart 899 01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:31,287 Thanks a lot. That's flattering. 900 01:04:31,852 --> 01:04:34,320 If you knew Susan like I knew Susan 901 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:38,251 I need a drink! 902 01:04:43,492 --> 01:04:46,768 - Tell me your entire name, darling. - Preston Langly. 903 01:04:48,612 --> 01:04:52,287 Really! If you don't remember when we met, I mean, honestly! 904 01:04:52,532 --> 01:04:54,841 - Put your arm around me. - Of course. 905 01:04:57,612 --> 01:04:59,204 Linda, you're here. 906 01:05:00,732 --> 01:05:01,721 So true. 907 01:05:03,652 --> 01:05:04,846 Join us. 908 01:05:09,012 --> 01:05:11,162 Congratulations. Father sends his regards. 909 01:05:11,412 --> 01:05:13,528 - Does he? - Yes, he does. 910 01:05:13,972 --> 01:05:16,247 Wednesday night may be difficult for me. 911 01:05:16,492 --> 01:05:19,165 - What? - You're looking wonderful, my dear. 912 01:05:19,412 --> 01:05:21,289 - Aren't I? Thank you. - Wednesday? 913 01:05:21,532 --> 01:05:23,841 It's difficult for her that night, Preston. 914 01:05:24,092 --> 01:05:27,482 Isn't that the night you usually attend the ballet, darling? 915 01:05:27,732 --> 01:05:31,361 Actually, I feel foolish, but I don't recall ever making... 916 01:05:31,612 --> 01:05:35,082 Would you be divine and get me a gin and tonic? 917 01:05:35,852 --> 01:05:37,763 Scotch for me, Preston. 918 01:05:38,972 --> 01:05:42,169 - You wait here for me? - If it takes forever. 919 01:05:51,012 --> 01:05:53,480 What are you doing here... 920 01:05:53,732 --> 01:05:56,041 ...and why are you talking like that? 921 01:06:01,092 --> 01:06:02,810 I was in the neighborhood. 922 01:06:03,052 --> 01:06:05,646 It took me two buses, three cabs and a train... 923 01:06:05,892 --> 01:06:08,611 ...to get into the neighborhood. But what the hell? 924 01:06:09,292 --> 01:06:12,170 Nice place. I like a living room you can land a plane in. 925 01:06:12,412 --> 01:06:14,972 There's more of it. You like a tour? 926 01:06:15,692 --> 01:06:17,569 I've seen bedrooms. 927 01:06:17,812 --> 01:06:19,803 Don't be a lover. Be a person. 928 01:06:21,052 --> 01:06:22,724 Make me happy. 929 01:06:23,332 --> 01:06:25,607 Her name is Linda Marolla. 930 01:06:25,972 --> 01:06:29,851 She's the one Arthur saw the other night. She lives in Queens. 931 01:06:48,372 --> 01:06:49,361 Mario, please! 932 01:06:49,572 --> 01:06:53,565 Don't worry. I talked to the warden. We'll get you out of here. 933 01:06:53,812 --> 01:06:58,090 When I was a kid, I used to open their stalls and let them run out. 934 01:06:58,332 --> 01:07:00,766 You should have been there the day I freed my goldfish. 935 01:07:01,012 --> 01:07:03,207 Come over here. I want you two to meet. 936 01:07:03,452 --> 01:07:06,524 Pancho, this is Linda. I told you about her, remember? 937 01:07:08,892 --> 01:07:11,360 It must have been something, growing up with all this. 938 01:07:11,572 --> 01:07:13,642 I was away at boarding school most of the time. 939 01:07:13,972 --> 01:07:17,851 I was kicked out of ten prep schools. I was a bad kid. 940 01:07:18,252 --> 01:07:19,571 No, you weren't. 941 01:07:19,932 --> 01:07:21,763 You just wanted to go home. 942 01:07:24,652 --> 01:07:26,802 Bad kids don't grow up as nice as you. 943 01:07:27,052 --> 01:07:29,566 - Why do you think Pancho loves you? - Thank you. 944 01:07:32,292 --> 01:07:34,567 This is kind of like prom night, isn't it? 945 01:07:35,852 --> 01:07:37,763 I mean, we're all dressed up. 946 01:07:42,052 --> 01:07:43,371 Have you ever been in love? 947 01:07:46,172 --> 01:07:47,127 You? 948 01:07:49,812 --> 01:07:52,963 But when I was little, I thought the moon followed me. 949 01:07:53,212 --> 01:07:54,008 What? 950 01:07:56,172 --> 01:08:00,290 I would walk and I thought the moon went anyplace I did. 951 01:08:03,892 --> 01:08:05,325 That's great! 952 01:08:06,132 --> 01:08:08,487 I know it's silly, but I was only eight years old. 953 01:08:09,852 --> 01:08:12,969 I thought it meant something special would happen to me someday. 954 01:08:13,332 --> 01:08:17,086 So I've been waiting. Every day I've been doing my hair, and washing... 955 01:08:17,972 --> 01:08:19,883 ...my face... - Can I kiss you? 956 01:08:20,412 --> 01:08:21,731 Please. 957 01:08:31,252 --> 01:08:33,004 I wasn't talking to you. 958 01:08:35,172 --> 01:08:38,960 Why is it you can make me laugh at the saddest times in my life? 959 01:08:39,212 --> 01:08:40,804 I'm funny, that's why. 960 01:08:41,092 --> 01:08:42,127 I'm funny! 961 01:08:43,092 --> 01:08:44,207 Yeah, that's it. 962 01:08:45,172 --> 01:08:46,730 You're going to marry Susan. 963 01:08:48,772 --> 01:08:52,367 I'm still glad I came here. Made a fool out of myself. 964 01:08:53,092 --> 01:08:54,525 I wish we had made love. 965 01:08:56,532 --> 01:08:58,841 I'd give anything to see you in the morning. 966 01:09:01,172 --> 01:09:04,847 I have to marry Susan. If I don't, my family will cut me off. 967 01:09:05,092 --> 01:09:07,128 It's almost a billion dollars. 968 01:09:09,332 --> 01:09:11,323 One of the horses just fainted. 969 01:09:13,372 --> 01:09:14,885 Look, this is ridiculous. 970 01:09:15,132 --> 01:09:18,761 You got cab fare to the city? I don't like the train at night. 971 01:09:21,252 --> 01:09:23,083 Look, when Susan and I get married... 972 01:09:23,332 --> 01:09:25,971 ...I can set you up in an apartment and we can... 973 01:09:26,212 --> 01:09:27,361 Forget it. 974 01:09:29,412 --> 01:09:30,447 Are you cute! 975 01:09:35,692 --> 01:09:37,808 I thought I'd find you here. 976 01:09:38,212 --> 01:09:40,680 He just loves that smelly old horse. 977 01:09:42,932 --> 01:09:43,762 Have we met? 978 01:09:45,292 --> 01:09:46,964 I don't think you have. 979 01:09:47,172 --> 01:09:49,970 Linda Marolla, this is Susan Johnson, my fiancee. 980 01:09:50,572 --> 01:09:52,449 I hope I'm not interrupting. 981 01:09:53,052 --> 01:09:54,963 I'd say that if I were you. 982 01:09:55,612 --> 01:09:57,967 We might as well tell her. 983 01:09:59,252 --> 01:10:00,731 You tell her. 984 01:10:04,012 --> 01:10:08,051 My husband, Harold, went to prep school with Arthur. 985 01:10:08,932 --> 01:10:11,605 Harold lost a fortune gambling. He's sick! 986 01:10:11,892 --> 01:10:12,961 He's a sick man! 987 01:10:13,652 --> 01:10:15,563 But he's my husband. 988 01:10:16,372 --> 01:10:19,170 I'm not one of your guests. I came for one reason. 989 01:10:19,412 --> 01:10:22,563 I came here to beg Arthur to lend us some money. 990 01:10:23,852 --> 01:10:25,205 One of my kids... 991 01:10:25,452 --> 01:10:27,568 ...my youngest, my baby... 992 01:10:27,852 --> 01:10:29,649 ...needs an operation. 993 01:10:30,252 --> 01:10:33,210 Harold hasn't kept up the insurance. I don't know where to turn! 994 01:10:33,452 --> 01:10:34,965 Do I have to go on? 995 01:10:36,212 --> 01:10:37,281 No, of course not! 996 01:10:37,532 --> 01:10:39,409 Of course not! 997 01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:42,485 - Arthur, I wasn't spying on you. - I know that! 998 01:10:42,732 --> 01:10:45,769 There's an urgent phone call for you from Bitterman. 999 01:10:46,252 --> 01:10:47,128 Thank you. 1000 01:10:49,572 --> 01:10:51,563 Say hello to Harold for me. 1001 01:11:04,052 --> 01:11:05,565 You all right, Bitterman? 1002 01:11:05,852 --> 01:11:06,967 Yes, sir. 1003 01:11:09,772 --> 01:11:12,161 Would you like me to get you some Scotch, sir? 1004 01:11:13,012 --> 01:11:14,809 We'll get through this together. 1005 01:11:19,972 --> 01:11:21,564 It's very hard. 1006 01:11:25,132 --> 01:11:27,168 I'm glad to have you here, sir. 1007 01:11:30,252 --> 01:11:32,971 Bitterman, do me a favor. 1008 01:11:33,492 --> 01:11:35,050 Go back to the house. 1009 01:11:35,412 --> 01:11:39,451 Phone my father and Mr. Johnson and Miss Susan. Tell them what's happened. 1010 01:11:39,692 --> 01:11:43,367 The wedding will have to wait. And bring me back some clothes here. 1011 01:11:55,332 --> 01:11:57,607 Okay, let's open the presents. 1012 01:11:58,652 --> 01:11:59,846 I'm sorry, Arthur. 1013 01:12:00,772 --> 01:12:03,286 - For what? - For leaving you. 1014 01:12:05,372 --> 01:12:06,771 You're not leaving anyone. 1015 01:12:12,252 --> 01:12:14,482 Why, it's a basketball! 1016 01:12:15,452 --> 01:12:17,966 What the hell? I knew you didn't have one. 1017 01:12:18,572 --> 01:12:21,006 If I feel the urge to dribble... 1018 01:12:21,252 --> 01:12:23,049 ...I can always call the nurse. 1019 01:12:24,252 --> 01:12:25,970 I'll put this over here. 1020 01:12:32,252 --> 01:12:34,846 You purchased a choo-choo? 1021 01:12:35,132 --> 01:12:36,963 Look, the wheels go round. 1022 01:12:43,812 --> 01:12:45,484 I'm very pleased. 1023 01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:47,165 Do you remember... 1024 01:12:47,372 --> 01:12:50,921 ...when you used to play hide-and-seek with me? 1025 01:12:51,172 --> 01:12:53,128 I used to hide and you never found me! 1026 01:12:53,772 --> 01:12:56,491 - Did you know I never looked? - Come on! 1027 01:12:58,972 --> 01:13:01,691 Well, I looked a little. 1028 01:13:03,932 --> 01:13:05,763 One for you, one for me. Put it on. 1029 01:13:07,252 --> 01:13:09,163 I don't wish to put it on. 1030 01:13:14,492 --> 01:13:16,050 I'll put it on. 1031 01:13:20,732 --> 01:13:24,566 If I begin to die, please take this off my head. 1032 01:13:24,852 --> 01:13:26,968 This isn't how I wish to be remembered. 1033 01:13:29,692 --> 01:13:30,966 Aren't they great? 1034 01:13:34,292 --> 01:13:36,726 I've got guns and holsters too. Look. 1035 01:13:39,252 --> 01:13:41,971 Just in town for supplies, partner. 1036 01:13:44,772 --> 01:13:46,125 Arthur, I'm frightened. 1037 01:13:51,052 --> 01:13:52,963 I know you're frightened. 1038 01:13:53,612 --> 01:13:55,568 I'm going to take care of you. 1039 01:14:30,172 --> 01:14:31,605 Good morning, Mr. Bach. 1040 01:14:31,852 --> 01:14:32,967 Hi, Ken. 1041 01:14:39,332 --> 01:14:41,050 Here, I'll take that. 1042 01:14:41,292 --> 01:14:44,568 You look terrible. You haven't slept in a week. 1043 01:14:44,932 --> 01:14:47,207 Well, we had a bad night. He was up. 1044 01:14:47,412 --> 01:14:50,085 I got the kippers and eggs. I'll get fired. 1045 01:14:50,332 --> 01:14:52,527 No, you won't. 1046 01:14:54,132 --> 01:14:55,121 Listen. 1047 01:14:55,772 --> 01:14:57,000 For lunch... 1048 01:14:58,932 --> 01:15:02,766 ...I want the trout almondine from Lutece. Tell Henri it's for me. 1049 01:15:02,972 --> 01:15:04,166 He shouldn't eat that. 1050 01:15:04,372 --> 01:15:07,205 I don't want his last meal to be Jell-O. 1051 01:15:07,452 --> 01:15:09,568 Thanks very much. See you later. 1052 01:15:12,212 --> 01:15:13,645 Look who's up. 1053 01:15:17,652 --> 01:15:19,768 We have eggs, we have kippers. 1054 01:15:20,012 --> 01:15:22,606 We have croissants. We have a yellow rose. 1055 01:15:22,932 --> 01:15:26,447 We have strawberries. We have blueberry cakes. 1056 01:15:26,692 --> 01:15:29,331 We have orange juice and great coffee. 1057 01:15:31,292 --> 01:15:33,203 Right. Table for one, sir. 1058 01:15:33,852 --> 01:15:35,126 Your regular. 1059 01:15:37,292 --> 01:15:38,725 You know, Arthur... 1060 01:15:39,972 --> 01:15:41,564 ...I'm very glad you're here. 1061 01:15:42,012 --> 01:15:44,685 I want you to eat this. This is costing me. 1062 01:15:44,932 --> 01:15:48,322 I've got chefs working at six in the morning all over town. 1063 01:15:48,572 --> 01:15:50,324 You look awful. 1064 01:15:50,612 --> 01:15:53,968 That's because you've never seen me sober. Now eat. 1065 01:15:54,172 --> 01:15:56,402 Come on. You used to make me eat. 1066 01:16:04,532 --> 01:16:06,250 It's not so bad. 1067 01:16:06,892 --> 01:16:09,360 You don't need to be so frightened about it. 1068 01:16:11,212 --> 01:16:13,442 - What? - Dying. 1069 01:16:14,652 --> 01:16:16,324 Seems natural. 1070 01:16:16,972 --> 01:16:18,724 Even comforting, now. 1071 01:16:20,492 --> 01:16:22,164 You're even teaching me how to die? 1072 01:16:22,772 --> 01:16:25,764 I'm through teaching you anything. 1073 01:16:27,172 --> 01:16:28,525 You've grown up. 1074 01:16:38,732 --> 01:16:42,168 You can do anything with your life that you want to. 1075 01:16:45,692 --> 01:16:46,966 What do you mean? 1076 01:16:48,452 --> 01:16:49,965 Figure it out. 1077 01:16:50,652 --> 01:16:52,643 You seen Linda Marolla lately? 1078 01:16:53,412 --> 01:16:54,925 Linda Marolla? 1079 01:16:55,692 --> 01:16:57,330 Why would you ask about her? 1080 01:16:57,532 --> 01:17:00,922 I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm dying. 1081 01:17:08,492 --> 01:17:10,210 Want me to read you Shakespeare? 1082 01:17:10,452 --> 01:17:13,171 Hamlet was in big trouble when we left off. 1083 01:17:13,372 --> 01:17:14,487 No. 1084 01:17:29,572 --> 01:17:31,290 You're a good son. 1085 01:18:25,012 --> 01:18:27,890 You take your average kid today. 1086 01:18:28,372 --> 01:18:30,408 He don't want to go in the army. 1087 01:18:30,652 --> 01:18:32,961 Yeah, what does he care? Dope! 1088 01:18:33,172 --> 01:18:36,847 But the Communists, they go in the army! 1089 01:18:37,532 --> 01:18:40,046 If only we had some Communists here. 1090 01:18:40,612 --> 01:18:41,840 No. 1091 01:18:43,252 --> 01:18:45,686 While our kids are dancing... 1092 01:18:46,052 --> 01:18:48,771 ...their kids are learning how to fight! 1093 01:18:49,012 --> 01:18:51,162 Everybody's dancing here! 1094 01:18:53,372 --> 01:18:56,569 You're right. You're right. It's not worth talking about. 1095 01:18:56,772 --> 01:18:59,570 - Let me buy you another drink. - Right. 1096 01:19:00,052 --> 01:19:01,280 What do you do? 1097 01:19:01,892 --> 01:19:03,689 I'm a dance instructor. 1098 01:19:06,372 --> 01:19:09,170 No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding! Honest to God. 1099 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:10,367 I'm a dentist. 1100 01:19:10,852 --> 01:19:12,649 I hate dentists. 1101 01:19:13,252 --> 01:19:16,927 We're not bad guys. It's not easy, you know. 1102 01:19:17,132 --> 01:19:20,329 There's teeth and gums and blood! 1103 01:19:20,572 --> 01:19:22,164 Oh, my God! 1104 01:19:22,572 --> 01:19:25,211 I have to get looped just to walk into my office. 1105 01:19:25,452 --> 01:19:28,967 Bartender! We would like two more, please. 1106 01:19:30,212 --> 01:19:33,170 - Haven't you had enough? - I want more than enough. 1107 01:19:34,972 --> 01:19:38,487 How come you got all this money for all these drinks? 1108 01:19:38,812 --> 01:19:43,010 I saved my money. I haven't had a drink in a month. 1109 01:19:43,212 --> 01:19:44,804 Oh, my God! 1110 01:19:45,052 --> 01:19:47,202 Well, you see, my father died. 1111 01:19:49,732 --> 01:19:51,529 So I stayed sober. 1112 01:19:53,412 --> 01:19:55,243 One night at the hospital... 1113 01:19:55,492 --> 01:19:58,165 ...he fell asleep. I was watching him. 1114 01:19:59,212 --> 01:20:00,361 And then... 1115 01:20:01,412 --> 01:20:03,687 ...he just kept on sleeping. 1116 01:20:04,852 --> 01:20:06,808 And I was all alone. 1117 01:20:07,012 --> 01:20:08,923 Oh, that's terrible. 1118 01:20:09,812 --> 01:20:11,245 Listen... 1119 01:20:11,732 --> 01:20:14,166 ...I was lucky to know him at all. 1120 01:20:17,452 --> 01:20:19,010 Are you somebody's father? 1121 01:20:19,252 --> 01:20:21,208 No, I'm a drunk. 1122 01:20:22,012 --> 01:20:25,527 I have a brother who moved to New Jersey. 1123 01:20:26,452 --> 01:20:28,170 I'm getting married soon. 1124 01:20:28,412 --> 01:20:29,561 Great! 1125 01:20:29,772 --> 01:20:31,490 I don't love her. 1126 01:20:32,492 --> 01:20:33,481 I don't love her! 1127 01:20:33,732 --> 01:20:35,211 Well, don't make a scene! 1128 01:20:35,452 --> 01:20:37,682 No, I'm sorry, but there's... 1129 01:20:37,932 --> 01:20:39,285 ...this other girl. 1130 01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:41,810 She steals ties... 1131 01:20:43,572 --> 01:20:46,132 ...and gives them to her father. She's funny. 1132 01:20:50,452 --> 01:20:51,726 I want her. 1133 01:20:53,612 --> 01:20:54,601 I want her! 1134 01:20:54,812 --> 01:20:56,040 I have to go. 1135 01:20:58,972 --> 01:21:00,200 Sorry. 1136 01:21:00,492 --> 01:21:03,450 Sir, your wedding is within less than five hours. 1137 01:21:03,932 --> 01:21:04,967 Listen. 1138 01:21:05,212 --> 01:21:07,168 Go see your brother. 1139 01:21:07,412 --> 01:21:08,288 All right? 1140 01:21:08,652 --> 01:21:11,371 Nobody should be alone. 1141 01:21:11,612 --> 01:21:13,409 It's awful... 1142 01:21:13,972 --> 01:21:15,530 ...to be alone. 1143 01:21:23,452 --> 01:21:26,410 I want you to know, if he doesn't show up for this wedding... 1144 01:21:26,652 --> 01:21:27,562 ...I'll kill him. 1145 01:21:27,812 --> 01:21:31,691 Don't worry about it, Burt. I talk to Arthur every day. 1146 01:21:31,932 --> 01:21:34,810 Since Hobson's death, he's stopped drinking. He's anxious to work. 1147 01:21:35,132 --> 01:21:38,886 He's become a responsible citizen. He'll be a good husband. 1148 01:21:39,452 --> 01:21:41,568 Thanks very much. Have a nice day. 1149 01:21:42,812 --> 01:21:45,770 - Where's my roll? - We're having it monogrammed. 1150 01:21:45,972 --> 01:21:47,928 Hurry up with the old man's roll! 1151 01:21:50,532 --> 01:21:51,408 Can I help you? 1152 01:21:52,652 --> 01:21:54,961 Do you recommend the French toast? 1153 01:21:55,212 --> 01:21:56,611 With all of my heart. 1154 01:21:58,372 --> 01:21:59,851 Lady, I got customers. 1155 01:22:00,332 --> 01:22:01,526 I'll have it. 1156 01:22:01,772 --> 01:22:03,808 You've made the right decision. 1157 01:22:04,132 --> 01:22:05,360 Wait a minute! Wait! 1158 01:22:05,612 --> 01:22:07,045 I've waited long enough. 1159 01:22:08,852 --> 01:22:11,650 Can you take the next 60 years off? 1160 01:22:12,452 --> 01:22:13,885 I'll have to ask. 1161 01:22:17,372 --> 01:22:19,932 - You want some coffee? - Where's my roll? 1162 01:22:20,172 --> 01:22:21,366 Wait! I'll get it! 1163 01:22:21,612 --> 01:22:24,445 - What the hell's going on? - She's getting your roll. 1164 01:22:28,372 --> 01:22:29,566 Here's your roll. 1165 01:22:29,812 --> 01:22:30,722 Arthur, what happened? 1166 01:22:30,972 --> 01:22:32,200 Hobson died. 1167 01:22:32,532 --> 01:22:33,487 I know. 1168 01:22:33,732 --> 01:22:36,405 He loved you very much. Did you know that? 1169 01:22:36,692 --> 01:22:39,001 And I think I'll grow up. 1170 01:22:39,252 --> 01:22:40,446 I want to marry you. 1171 01:22:42,132 --> 01:22:45,249 Although I'm supposed to marry Susan in 20 minutes. 1172 01:22:45,492 --> 01:22:48,564 - He's drunk, but he sounds sincere. - Eat your roll! 1173 01:22:50,212 --> 01:22:52,567 The money. Can you live without the money? 1174 01:22:53,012 --> 01:22:54,604 Well, we'll have to. 1175 01:22:57,052 --> 01:22:58,929 Please marry me. 1176 01:23:00,692 --> 01:23:03,365 I'll try to be sober and to make you happy. 1177 01:23:03,612 --> 01:23:06,285 Although it won't be easy, because I'll be poor. 1178 01:23:06,532 --> 01:23:07,408 We'll be poor. 1179 01:23:07,612 --> 01:23:08,681 We'll be poor. 1180 01:23:09,132 --> 01:23:11,600 - Most people are poor. - Eat your roll! 1181 01:23:13,852 --> 01:23:17,242 Now, I have to tell Susan. Come with me? 1182 01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:18,481 I got to change. 1183 01:23:18,732 --> 01:23:20,450 - I'll cover for you. - All right. 1184 01:23:22,252 --> 01:23:24,766 Last night, I could have sworn the moon was following me. 1185 01:23:24,972 --> 01:23:26,405 It was. 1186 01:23:53,452 --> 01:23:55,363 I'm Arthur Bach, the groom. 1187 01:23:55,652 --> 01:23:57,051 Congratulations! 1188 01:23:57,292 --> 01:23:59,408 Thank you. And to you too. 1189 01:23:59,652 --> 01:24:02,724 I wonder, could you tell me where the wedding party is? 1190 01:24:04,932 --> 01:24:06,923 Right over there, in that room. 1191 01:24:07,452 --> 01:24:10,922 Thank you very much. You've got a lovely... 1192 01:24:15,292 --> 01:24:18,125 ...hat! Hat. It's called a hat. 1193 01:24:22,892 --> 01:24:24,086 Good luck, Arthur. 1194 01:24:25,092 --> 01:24:28,368 Thank you very much. I'm Arthur Bach, the groom. 1195 01:24:29,492 --> 01:24:30,766 I'm Arthur Bach. 1196 01:24:40,092 --> 01:24:41,923 Did you forget your garter belt? 1197 01:24:49,612 --> 01:24:51,011 Sorry I'm late. 1198 01:24:54,532 --> 01:24:57,365 Susan, just the one I wanted to talk to. 1199 01:24:57,612 --> 01:24:58,169 Nice dress. 1200 01:24:58,412 --> 01:25:01,722 - Arthur, the ceremony's just... - Yeah, I know. 1201 01:25:03,212 --> 01:25:07,125 Could we just talk for a moment, away from all these people? 1202 01:25:08,412 --> 01:25:09,481 Of course. 1203 01:25:24,012 --> 01:25:26,128 I don't love you. I don't love you. 1204 01:25:26,332 --> 01:25:28,527 - What is it, dear? - I don't love you. 1205 01:25:29,172 --> 01:25:30,321 I don't love you! 1206 01:25:30,732 --> 01:25:32,529 It's right in that room over there. 1207 01:25:32,812 --> 01:25:34,723 Thank you. Your hat is lovely. 1208 01:25:35,372 --> 01:25:36,646 I've heard. 1209 01:25:38,892 --> 01:25:40,325 You're drunk? 1210 01:25:41,332 --> 01:25:42,685 You're frightened? 1211 01:25:42,932 --> 01:25:44,570 I'm both of those. 1212 01:25:44,812 --> 01:25:47,007 I know, but I'm... 1213 01:25:47,252 --> 01:25:48,970 ...in love with another woman. 1214 01:25:50,212 --> 01:25:53,727 - What, dear? - I'm in love with another woman. 1215 01:25:55,852 --> 01:25:56,967 I'm in love... 1216 01:25:57,972 --> 01:26:00,042 ...with another... 1217 01:26:00,292 --> 01:26:01,281 ...woman! 1218 01:26:02,132 --> 01:26:03,884 Susan, the one innocent... 1219 01:26:04,092 --> 01:26:07,323 ...person in all of this has been you. I'm really sorry. 1220 01:26:07,532 --> 01:26:09,363 Shut up, Arthur! Just shut up! 1221 01:26:11,292 --> 01:26:12,850 Daddy! 1222 01:26:17,532 --> 01:26:19,443 Hello, Mr. Johnson! 1223 01:26:33,572 --> 01:26:35,290 He must be nervous. 1224 01:26:35,532 --> 01:26:37,124 Arthur gets nervous. 1225 01:26:39,212 --> 01:26:41,567 Here's your ring, Arthur. 1226 01:26:42,812 --> 01:26:44,165 I hope you're happy. 1227 01:26:44,412 --> 01:26:47,722 Now, stand up, son, I want to kill you with my bare hands. 1228 01:26:50,052 --> 01:26:53,761 I think you know everyone. This is Susan's father. 1229 01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:55,685 My God! Arthur, you're really hurt! 1230 01:26:57,732 --> 01:27:00,644 I've got him right where I want him. 1231 01:27:05,572 --> 01:27:07,369 You animal! 1232 01:27:07,612 --> 01:27:09,011 Look, it's over! 1233 01:27:09,332 --> 01:27:12,449 He doesn't love your daughter. I'm sorry. It happens. 1234 01:27:12,772 --> 01:27:13,807 He loves me. 1235 01:27:15,012 --> 01:27:16,650 What about Harold? 1236 01:27:17,772 --> 01:27:19,410 Harold? 1237 01:27:19,652 --> 01:27:21,370 - You poor thing. - Stand aside. 1238 01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:25,446 Now, is this the slut that you've disgraced my daughter for?! 1239 01:27:25,692 --> 01:27:26,488 Slut?! 1240 01:27:28,212 --> 01:27:29,281 Slut?! 1241 01:27:52,612 --> 01:27:53,488 Please, Daddy! 1242 01:27:53,732 --> 01:27:56,326 - Daddy, he's not worth it. - Just sit up. 1243 01:27:56,572 --> 01:27:58,164 Can you move, Arthur? 1244 01:27:58,532 --> 01:27:59,760 Everybody out! 1245 01:28:00,732 --> 01:28:02,370 Out! All of you, out! 1246 01:28:05,412 --> 01:28:06,765 God! 1247 01:28:12,292 --> 01:28:15,125 He's taking the knife out of the cheese! 1248 01:28:16,492 --> 01:28:18,005 Do you think he wants some cheese? 1249 01:28:18,212 --> 01:28:20,282 No, I think we're going to die! 1250 01:28:29,652 --> 01:28:30,971 What's going on here? 1251 01:28:31,172 --> 01:28:33,128 Stop that this instant! 1252 01:28:34,612 --> 01:28:37,365 Don't screw with me, Burt! 1253 01:29:17,332 --> 01:29:19,243 Ladies and gentlemen... 1254 01:29:21,932 --> 01:29:23,081 ...I'm sorry. 1255 01:29:25,212 --> 01:29:28,761 As you probably have surmised by now... 1256 01:29:29,012 --> 01:29:30,843 ...there will be no wedding. 1257 01:29:32,652 --> 01:29:34,051 The bride... 1258 01:29:34,292 --> 01:29:36,010 ...has had second thoughts... 1259 01:29:36,692 --> 01:29:38,444 ...and has decided... 1260 01:29:38,692 --> 01:29:40,125 ...not to marry me. 1261 01:29:40,372 --> 01:29:43,523 Most of you know me. Can you blame her? 1262 01:29:47,412 --> 01:29:51,041 I won't be seeing most of you anymore because... 1263 01:29:53,452 --> 01:29:55,522 ...I'm going to be... 1264 01:29:56,812 --> 01:29:57,927 ...poor. 1265 01:30:01,892 --> 01:30:03,530 I'll miss you. 1266 01:30:08,692 --> 01:30:11,206 Now there's a good... 1267 01:30:11,452 --> 01:30:13,283 ...chance I should go... 1268 01:30:14,452 --> 01:30:16,010 ...to the hospital. 1269 01:30:29,132 --> 01:30:32,363 This has some iodine on it, so it might hurt a little. 1270 01:30:32,612 --> 01:30:34,728 That hurts, I hate it! Stop it! 1271 01:30:35,972 --> 01:30:39,248 - Why did you do that? - Because I hate an infection! 1272 01:30:40,012 --> 01:30:42,128 If you'd have just let me get... 1273 01:30:49,412 --> 01:30:51,528 Look, as long as we're here... 1274 01:30:51,932 --> 01:30:53,809 Do you promise to love me... 1275 01:30:54,052 --> 01:30:55,326 ...and obey me? 1276 01:30:55,732 --> 01:30:56,960 And be a good boy? 1277 01:31:00,892 --> 01:31:01,722 I do. 1278 01:31:02,412 --> 01:31:06,200 And do you promise never to put that stuff on my face again? 1279 01:31:06,572 --> 01:31:07,448 I do. 1280 01:31:08,852 --> 01:31:09,887 God! 1281 01:31:10,452 --> 01:31:12,329 We're going to be great! 1282 01:31:13,252 --> 01:31:15,288 We're going to be like... 1283 01:31:15,492 --> 01:31:19,724 ...one of those poor couples on the subway who hold hands. 1284 01:31:20,332 --> 01:31:22,323 How much is the subway? 1285 01:31:22,812 --> 01:31:25,849 Sixty cents. But if you spit, it's a $500 fine. 1286 01:31:26,212 --> 01:31:28,248 Then I won't spit. 1287 01:31:28,492 --> 01:31:30,289 Good! None of the best people do. 1288 01:31:30,532 --> 01:31:31,806 I'll get a job! 1289 01:31:32,732 --> 01:31:34,723 That's what I'll do! 1290 01:31:34,972 --> 01:31:36,690 I'll get a job! 1291 01:31:37,612 --> 01:31:38,567 I'll work! 1292 01:31:39,332 --> 01:31:40,731 God, this'll be great! 1293 01:31:40,972 --> 01:31:43,566 - Good! Look how excited he is. - I'll come home from work. 1294 01:31:44,092 --> 01:31:45,684 You'll be ironing. 1295 01:31:45,932 --> 01:31:48,207 We'll eat some cheap, disgusting food. 1296 01:31:48,452 --> 01:31:49,328 Stop! 1297 01:31:49,852 --> 01:31:51,570 I think we're in trouble. 1298 01:31:53,812 --> 01:31:56,007 That is out of the question! 1299 01:31:57,292 --> 01:32:00,648 There has never been such a thing as a working-class Bach! 1300 01:32:01,492 --> 01:32:03,562 And there never will be! 1301 01:32:06,412 --> 01:32:08,528 Step! Step! 1302 01:32:10,372 --> 01:32:11,805 I've reached a decision. 1303 01:32:12,172 --> 01:32:16,927 The Bach family must endure. And not on a subway. 1304 01:32:17,372 --> 01:32:20,125 Your children will be senators, ambassadors. 1305 01:32:20,372 --> 01:32:22,727 Perhaps even a president! 1306 01:32:23,772 --> 01:32:27,321 You have your 750 million dollars. 1307 01:32:28,092 --> 01:32:29,320 All right! 1308 01:32:34,212 --> 01:32:35,964 I don't know, Martha. 1309 01:32:36,852 --> 01:32:38,285 You don't know?! 1310 01:32:38,532 --> 01:32:41,410 - Money has screwed me up my whole life. - I know! 1311 01:32:41,692 --> 01:32:44,160 I've always been rich and never been happy. 1312 01:32:44,412 --> 01:32:46,562 I've always been poor and usually been happy. 1313 01:32:46,812 --> 01:32:50,521 Rubbish! I've always been rich and I've always been happy. 1314 01:32:52,572 --> 01:32:55,530 Would you make me a tuna fish sandwich? 1315 01:32:56,852 --> 01:32:59,525 I'm going to have a tuna fish sandwich, Martha. 1316 01:32:59,772 --> 01:33:00,921 Step. 1317 01:33:05,372 --> 01:33:08,330 I demand that you take this money. 1318 01:33:09,652 --> 01:33:11,927 I want a decision and I want it now! 1319 01:33:15,532 --> 01:33:19,127 I can't tell you what a lousy wedding that was, Bitterman. 1320 01:33:21,572 --> 01:33:23,483 Bitterman, goodbye. 1321 01:33:24,492 --> 01:33:25,561 I'm going. 1322 01:33:26,212 --> 01:33:27,645 Goodbye, sir. 1323 01:33:27,892 --> 01:33:30,087 It was a pleasure working for you. 1324 01:33:30,332 --> 01:33:32,846 Chauffeurs rarely get to laugh. Thank you. 1325 01:33:33,092 --> 01:33:35,083 - Goodbye, Bitterman. - Goodbye, miss. 1326 01:33:35,292 --> 01:33:38,682 Arthur, I'm going! Open that door, Rockland! 1327 01:33:39,972 --> 01:33:42,964 - Ever been on a yacht? - No, is it wonderful? 1328 01:33:43,212 --> 01:33:45,123 It doesn't suck. 1329 01:33:45,492 --> 01:33:48,689 I shall never offer you this money again. 1330 01:33:49,612 --> 01:33:52,365 I wish you luck in your poverty. 1331 01:33:59,212 --> 01:34:00,361 Excuse me. 1332 01:34:20,332 --> 01:34:21,481 What happened? 1333 01:34:21,732 --> 01:34:23,085 I turned her down. 1334 01:34:24,172 --> 01:34:26,322 She invited us for dinner and I said... 1335 01:34:26,532 --> 01:34:29,649 ...we're having a tuna fish sandwich. So I turned her down. 1336 01:34:30,772 --> 01:34:33,525 I took the money, I mean, I'm not crazy! 1337 01:34:35,892 --> 01:34:37,530 Do you want to double your salary? 1338 01:34:37,812 --> 01:34:40,007 - Then open that door. - Right away, sir. 1339 01:34:40,252 --> 01:34:41,526 Is that funny? 1340 01:34:44,052 --> 01:34:45,007 Where to, sir? 1341 01:34:46,292 --> 01:34:50,365 The park. Drive through the park. You know how I love the park. 1342 01:34:51,612 --> 01:34:53,682 - Get in! Step! - Step! 1343 01:34:54,132 --> 01:34:56,600 ARTHUR NEW YORK 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org 95643