Original subtitles

(crackling)

(bittersweet piano)

(car approaching)

(heavy breathing)

(heart monitor beeps)

(cool drum music)

(sentimental piano)

(cool drum music)

(heavy breathing)

(coughs)

(coughs and moans)

(rap music blaring)

♪ Uh-oh, I make you let go

♪ Yeah, right, yo

♪ You done this on the...

- Can you turn that down a little?

♪ And I'mma make it, take it, fuck it straight to the hole

♪ And teach you how to drive a stick shift, fast

♪ You lovin' that...

- [Girl] "Why were you afraid, Lily?" said Jim.

"I was afraid that you would reject me

"like all the others do," said Lily.

Then Lily and Jim hug each other

and never let go.

The end.

(applause)

(chuckles)

- Good.

That was good.

Comments.

- I really felt the bond between Lily and Jim.

It was very real.

(chuckles)

- Thank you.

- Good.

Anyone else?

- Basically, the whole story's about society's expectations

on love and how we deal with it and...

Basically, that's it.

- That's what I was going for.

- Yeah, good, good.

What about you, Doug?

- God, that fucking sucked.

The story couldn't have been any more

contrived and just phony.

And what do you know about love, you pretentious moron?

Do all your experiences come from watching sitcoms?

God, it just makes me wanna, like, ralph!

(cheers and applause)

- [Class] Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! - [Instructor] Doug.

Doug?

- Everything was said.

- [Instructor] Good.

Now, on that note,

I have a special treat for you folks today:

The final assignment.

We'll pass it around now.

Read it, and I'll answer questions next class.

(percussive music)

- [Professor] I just have a lot of papers to grade.

- I just want to see you more.

When will I see you, then?

- Um, maybe this weekend.

- Okay.

- Okay. I'll call you, but...

I have to go, okay?

- Okay.

- Hey! Stephanie!

Hey, Steph.

- Oh, hi, Doug.

- Hey, how's your...

(snickers)

- What's up?

- Thank you.

My fiction seminar was cancelled.

- That's too bad.

Hey, I gotta get to class.

- I'll roll with you.

- Okay. Cool.

- [Janice] So I just want to let you know

that Wednesday is gonna be my last day.

- [Doug] Wait, you're quitting?

- Yeah, sorry about that.

My boyfriend's band got this gig in San Fran,

and I'm driving up there with him on Thursday.

So, yeah.

(solemn arrangement)

- Doug? Doug.

There you are.

(out of breath)

Hi. It's so, God, dark in here.

Did Gretchen even clean your room yet?

- I don't know.

- Don't get me started on her.

She is not the brightest bulb in the box.

- How are you, Mom?

- Well, I've been running around all day.

I mean, the florist called.

He was running late.

And then Gretchen broke another one of my plates

and blames it on the dog.

Right?

- I love you, too, Mom.

- Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I'm just a little frazzled.

What's going on with your hair?

(coughs)

It's very dusty in here, okay?

And what's the matter?

You seem... pooped?

- Janice quit.

- Great.

This is not what I need right now.

(telephone rings)

Oh, I have to get that.

The painter's supposed to be coming,

and, you know, we're...

Gretchen!

Can you please answer the phone?

("Lightness" by Death Cab for Cutie)

- Hey, what's up?

How are you doing?

Okay.

I miss you.

(typing)

(indistinct chatter)

- Oh.

- Thank you.

- Slow it down, Turbo.

- Jackass.

- Says here you want to be a video game programmer?

- Yeah.

- That's... different.

Ah, my brother-in-law went to the same high school.

- All right.

Go, Humpbacks!

- So, what have you been doing in the meantime?

- I've been pursuing my associate's degree.

- For five years.

Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you...

- Scott.

- Scott.

Your academic record is,

well, it's less than stellar.

- What?

What about my SAT scores?

- Yes.

They're quite good.

But that was high school.

- Alright, I admit it, I've had a rough couple of years.

But I'm ready to buckle down, you know?

"Seize the moment."

You guys got, like, financial aid, right?

Like... pretty lucrative for your students, huh?

- I really don't think

that this would be the right school for you,

but I can offer you some brochures

to some less discriminating universities

that would be perfectly suited for someone like you.

(telephone rings)

- You know what?

Fuck this.

(car horn)

Hey.

Hey, you're looking for a new driver, right?

- Uh, yeah.

- You're Doug?

I'm Scott.

Scott Lane.

- Hi.

- So how many times a week?

- Four times a week.

- And what, like, nine to--

- Who's this?

- I'm Scott.

I can start as early as tomorrow.

- Well, if your driving record checks out.

- Great. I'll call you.

Sorry.

(car door slams)

- I don't like him.

(wheezing)

(beeping)

- Mom!

(groans)

- [Scott] Sorry I was late, man.

Being on time's not...

It's not really my thing.

So, what's your major?

- Theatre.

- Cool.

Sounds like fun.

- Uh-huh.

- Be the next Judy Garland, huh?

You know, I was in a play once

in high school, and they made us dance the Charleston.

It's like the stupidest dance ever.

You ever had to dance the Charleston?

(rap music)

You want the radio on?

- No.

(rap ceases)

What are you staring at?

- I'm thinking.

Watch the road, please.

- Damn.

- Where are you from?

- Vegas.

- Really?

My dad was gonna take me,

but he didn't get the chance.

Is it cool?

- Yeah.

It is.

Alright.

This is where you get off.

- You need to unlock me.

- Oh.

- Press the right button

that's inside the steering wheel.

Left.

- Right.

(tiny alarm)

- What'd I just do?

- You reset my radio stations.

- Are you kidding?

I can't tell if you're kidding or not.

Well, do you need any help getting inside?

- I'm fine.

I got it from here.

(car horn)

- Have a good day at school, sugarplum!

(cell phone ringing)

Hey.

Be right there.

I have to be there.

I don't care.

I'm coming.

- "I fucking trusted you, and this is how you repay me?

"By fucking my girl?" said Martin.

"I'll show you trust," replied Michael angrily.

Then Michael picked up a hammer and beat Martin's skull

until it was a bloody mess on the floor.

- Huh.

- Then Jane entered room topless,

with a towel around her waist.

She looked at the mangled corpse,

then at Michael and said,

"Thank you for killing that bastard.

"You're a man.

"Let's fuck."

(applause)

- [Stephanie] I've gotta go to French class meet-up tonight.

- If you're not doing anything after,

you wanna practice some French kissing?

- (laughs) What?

- Nevermind.

We still on for a study sesh Saturday night?

- Sure.

- Doug. Listen, man.

We got a problem.

- Stephanie, this is Scott.

- Hi. - Hi.

- I'm Stephanie.

- Uh, look, man.

Something's come up, and I've gotta go to Vegas.

- Is everything okay?

- Uh, yeah, it's like a personal family thing

I gotta take care of.

- Yeah, don't worry about it.

I'll find someone to take over.

- I don't really have a car.

So, remember how you were saying that

you wanna go to Vegas?

I could drive you there.

Show you around.

It'll be such a good time.

- I don't know.

- Oh, come on, Doug.

You're always talking about Vegas.

- I just met you.

- Doug, I know you don't know me,

and I know this is, like, a huge favor,

but please, this would really help me out.

- And I'll go with you.

- There's plenty of room in the van.

It'll be a party.

- I'll have to think about it.

- You gotta think about it.

He's gotta think about it.

- Okay. Think about it.

- Bye, Stephanie.

Thanks for walking with me.

- See ya.

- Alright, captain.

Come on, let's get you home.

(sighs)

(car lock beep)

- I don't trust this Scott character.

- I just... I wanna see Vegas before I die.

Dad would let me go.

- Don't be so dramatic.

And no, your father would not allow you to run off

to Las Vegas with a total stranger!

Honey, if you want to go, we'll set a trip up.

Okay?

We'll see the Hoover Dam.

- (scoffs) I don't want to go to Vegas with my mom.

I'm not a child.

And you said yourself I need to get out more.

- What? This is different.

This is not going to the mall.

This is Las Vegas.

I mean, what are you gonna do there, anyway?

I mean, this place is not made for someone like you.

Trust me.

(sighs)

It's just-- It's not, it's not g--

It's, it's settled.

We'll be having chicken again tonight.

I hope that's okay with you.

(cellphone vibrating) - [TV] So the schedule

this year, that's why so many say yes #9,

yes worthy of being a top 10 team,

but without a signature non-conference game

and playing that schedule, what can we make?

(beep) - Yeah?

- Yo, Scott.

- Hey, Doug.

What's up?

- Hey, do you still need a ride to Vegas?

- Yeah, yeah, I do.

- Great. I'm down.

- Thanks, man.

Dude, we're gonna have so much fun.

Like, Stephanie's gonna be thrilled.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- [TV] Many species of tortoises are sexually dimorphic,

that the differences between males and females

vary from species to species.

- [Mom] Doug?

Do you want to eat with me tonight?

- I have plans.

- [TV] In some species, males have a longer,

more protruding neck length.

(crunching)

(bell chiming)

(deep breath)

You fucking bastard.

You said you wouldn't leave me.

You said you would never leave me.

I should flush you down the toilet.

That's what I should do.

I should flush you right down the toilet.

(glass shatters)

(sighs)

Gretchen!

Can you please come clean this up?

- [Stephanie] I can't believe your mom's letting you do this.

- [Doug] Yeah.

Me neither.

- [Scott] So, if you don't mind me asking...

- [Doug] You want to ask about my disability.

I really don't talk about it.

- Are you a virgin?

- I have osteodystrophy.

Actually, I have a rare,

non-progressive form of it.

- So you're saying you're a virgin.

Non-progressive, so...

It doesn't get worse.

- Mhmm.

- Sounds like you got lucky, to me.

- Well, I actually don't know what it is.

I'm one of the few people that has it.

It's extremely rare.

- Were you born with it?

- Yup.

- You know, if you want, you can ask something about me.

- Why would I want to ask something about you?

You're normal.

- This is the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.

- Hey, it's Stephanie.

Uh, just in the van. - [Doug] So...

What's going on with your family?

- Oh.

Man, it's not really a family thing.

It's more of a friend who's like family.

I don't know, it's complicated.

What's up with your family?

What's your dad do?

- My dad is dead.

- [Stephanie] Call me back when you get this, I guess.

I love you.

Bye.

(beep)

What are you guys talking about?

- Manly things.

Beards and chainsaws and penises and such.

- Okay, nevermind.

("Tiny Vessels" by Death Cab for Cutie)

♪ I wanted to believe

♪ In all the words that I was speaking

♪ As we moved together in the dark

♪ And tiny vessels oozed into your neck

♪ And formed the bruises

♪ That you said you didn't want to fade

♪ But they did

♪ And so did I that day

(water rippling)

(faint yell)

- [Scott] Doug.

Doug.

Hey.

Wake up.

- I miss the pool.

- You can swim?

- I could float.

I can even walk around the shallow end a little.

Just less gravity under the water.

- You did this as a kid?

- I used to spend hours and hours in the pool,

until my hands got all wrinkly. (chuckles)

I just felt so free.

- Hey, you know, the hotel we're going to will have a pool.

We can-- We can go for a swim.

I'll help you out.

- I haven't been able to do that

for a very long time.

- Hey, are you guys hungry?

- Yeah, I think I could eat.

What about you?

- Yeah.

(soothing guitar)

- [Ethel] There you go, hun.

Hi, guys.

What can I get ya?

- I'll get the number three, please.

- I'll have the Big Texas burger.

- And what can I get for him?

- I don't know, Ethel.

Why don't you ask him?

- Can I get a number one with extra bacon?

- Okay, a number one, no bacon.

- Can I get extra bacon?

- Right.

Number one, no bacon.

- He wants extra bacon.

And a round of waters, please.

Thank you.

Must get annoying, huh?

- It happens all the time.

- Well, this burger tastes like shit.

(choking)

You alright?

(coughs)

- Sorry.

Can you-- Can you cut it up for me?

- Yeah, sure thing, man.

- Thank you.

- No worries.

- You're a natural.

- Cut a thing or two in my life.

- When's the last time you washed your hands?

- Relax.

I haven't masturbated since this morning.

(laughs)

- And on that note, I'm gonna go make a phone call.

- I have to stay proactive on not getting sick.

I can't cough up mucus so well.

My lungs can fill up.

- Mucus and lung fluid.

Thanks for sharing.

- ...heard from you.

Call me back when you get this.

Or text me or something.

- Jesus, this knife is terrible.

Hey, Ethel?

Can we get a new knife over here?

Particularly one that... cuts things?

Thank you!

- Can you not make a big deal out of it?

- I'm just trying to help you out, man.

- I don't need your help.

I just want to be treated like everyone else.

- No, you don't.

You love being treated special.

So what, when someone holds a door open for you,

they're treating you like a kid?

And when they don't, they're an asshole?

Is that how it works?

And at the same time, you claim you want to be treated

like everyone else, but what you fail to realize

is that the longer you focus on trying to be normal,

the longer it's gonna take you to realize

that nobody's normal, Doug.

How's that?

- Thank you.

- Stop thanking me all the time.

You're sucking all the fun out of it.

(chuckles)

- What'd I miss?

- Can't divulge that information, ma'am.

It's a government secret thing.

We told you, we'd have to kill ya.

And Doug doesn't wanna have to do that. Look at him.

- Actually, I believe there's an implied priv clause

regarding Las Vegas.

You know what they say.

- I'm sorry, what do they say?

- "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

- Who the hell says that?

- It's a saying.

- From who?

- People. People say that.

- I've lived in Vegas for years, and I've never heard that.

- Seriously?

Fuck you.

(laughs)

- So, who you out there calling?

- Um, my boyfriend.

He wasn't answering, though.

- Boyfriend, huh?

Sounds serious.

- Yeah, it's getting pretty serious.

- He's a professor.

- And the plot thickens.

So, why pray tell, are you making study dates with Doug

if you're already doing the professor?

Doesn't that, like, guarantee a passing grade?

- It's not like that.

He's a great guy.

- I heard he sleeps with a lot of his students.

- He doesn't do that anymore.

("A Lack of Color" by Death Cab for Cutie)

♪ This is fact, not fiction

♪ For the first time in years

(dialing)

♪ Any less alone

♪ I'm reaching for the phone

♪ To call at 7:03

♪ And on your machine I slur a plea

♪ For you to come home

- So, what do you call a quadriplegic on a barbecue grill?

Frank.

Alright, alright.

What do you call a quadriplegic under your car?

Jack.

Oh, come on, man.

Those are funny.

- I laughed.

- You didn't even smile.

You never smile.

- Maybe I don't want to.

- Bullshit.

- I can't smile.

These muscles in my face don't work.

Or something.

I guess it's just an added bonus.

- That's not true.

I've seen you smile.

You use your eyes.

You just don't do it that often.

- Maybe I don't have anything to smile about.

(rock blasting)

(car screeching)

- Oh, my God.

What is happening?

- What are you doing?

- Just having a little fun.

- Slow down, stranger.

- Not a chance.

Say it with me, Doug.

Woo!

Woo!

- Woo!

- You guys are fucking insane!

(laughs)

(laughs)

- [Stephanie] That was not cool.

(choking)

What's happening?

- You okay?

You need some water?

- Scott, pull over!

(gagging)

(coughing)

(choking)

- What do I do?

- I don't know.

I've never seen him this bad.

Hit his back or something, I don't know.

(gagging)

- Doug!

Doug!

- I'm okay.

Just give me a minute.

- Oh my God.

I was gonna call 911.

- Damn it, Doug.

You scared the shit out of me, man.

- I'm fine.

Let's keep going.

- That was terrifying.

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

Just freaked me out a little.

- Come on. Let's go.

(engine revving)

(beeping)

- [Video] Oh, look at you.

Look at you.

You're beautiful.

Hey, come here.

Come here.

Take a picture.

Come on, I got it set up.

Oh shit, I got it on video.

Hold on.

Alright.

Say "cheese."

- Are we there yet?

- See that sign over there?

- Yeah.

- A friend and I stayed out all night once by that sign,

just waiting for a ride.

- Why didn't you stay at a hotel?

- Didn't have any money.

- Oh. That must've sucked.

- Actually, it was one of the best nights of my life.

- It's calm here.

- [Stephanie] I've never seen anything like this.

(laughs) There's so many people.

This is amazing.

- [Scott] Check it out.

We're here.

- Huh.

- It's cool, huh?

- This is crazy.

- I wanna gamble.

- Slow your roll, buddy.

Let's check out the hotel first.

- That place looks nice.

(laughs)

- No, we can't stay there.

I know a place that's a little better suited

for our price range.

(dog barking)

- Where'd you hear that Julian sleeps

with a lot of students?

- I thought you knew.

(grunting)

- Jesus, what do you got in here, a dead body?

- Uh, just books.

Doug and I are supposed to study this weekend.

So, should we meet back here in a few hours?

- You ditching us already?

- I've just been stewing in your juices

for the last six hours.

I could use a shower.

- Scott, why don't you show me those cardshark skills?

- Pace yourself, captain.

Let's check out our room first.

There's plenty of time to spend your money.

- Great. Well, see you in a few hours.

- Yes, Mom.

Yes.

I'm fine, Mom.

- Unacceptable, Doug!

We agreed you would not be going to that awful place!

- We didn't agree.

- Where are you?

I am going to get you.

- No, Mom.

I just got here.

- Well, are you at least eating enough?

- Yes, Mom.

- The hotel clean?

- It's fine.

- Do you need anything?

- No.

- You know, the dog got under the fence

and into the neighbor's yard today.

- Great.

- When are you coming home?

- I just got here.

I'll be home in a couple of days.

I gotta go, Mom.

- Wait. Okay, well...

Call us later.

I love you.

- [Scott] I love you, too, Douglas.

Aah!

(laughs)

(sighs)

- What's that stain on the bed?

- Don't worry.

That doesn't look like blood.

It looks like semen.

Good luck with that.

- It's your bed.

(beep)

(phone vibrating)

(thump)

Are you okay?

- Yeah.

I'm great.

- We've got some time to kill.

(toilet flushes)

You wanna go see your friend?

- No.

I can take of that later.

I need a drink.

Let's roll.

You ever play blackjack?

- On my phone.

- That's good enough for me.

Let's do it.

- Okay.

- Here, do you see this?

It's ridiculous.

- Hey, cutie.

- Hey. What's the minimum?

- $10.

- $10. (grunts)

You good with that?

- Yeah.

- Alright.

I think you should--

- Oh, yeah.

Please. Yeah.

- Just go ahead.

- [Doug] Stay. - [Scott] Definitely stay.

- [Doug] 20, 20.

- That's fucking sick.

- Bust, again.

- Yes!

- This guy's getting all the good cards.

With a face like that,

you should go over to the poker table.

- He's mad 'cause he's losing.

- [Croupier] Place your bets.

No more bets.

Winner: 33, black.

- Alright, what else?

- The rest, and then stuck on two to one.

- The whole thing?

- Yeah.

- You sure?

- Yeah!

- [Croupier] Place your bets.

- Here we go, here we go, here we go.

- [Doug] Wait, nevermind.

- Oh my God.

(indistinct chatter)

- Yes!

- You sure? - Yeah!

- Okay. Alright.

- [Croupier] No more bets.

No more bets, please.

Winner: green, zero! - [Scott] Yeah! Yes!

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

11, yes!

Did you see that?

Look at that.

Come on, come on.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Yeah.

- Is he 21?

- Of course.

- Could you please show me some ID?

- Yeah.

It's in your pocket, right, Doug?

- Yeah, back pocket.

- He's pretty heavy.

If you maybe get his feet, help me flip him over,

we get it out.

- Oh, no, that won't be necessary.

I'm terribly sorry.

He looks young for his age.

You have a nice day.

- You know, you could've just shown him my ID.

- Yeah, but that wouldn't have been as much fun.

- Refills! Hell yeah!

- Sorry, it's his first time.

Wait, wait, wait.

That's for you.

- Can I get a straw?

- I think she wants the D, Doug.

(snickers)

She's into you.

- Sure.

- Right.

(laughs) Onward.

- Where to next?

- Wherever you want to go, man.

- Should we go pick up Stephanie?

- Yeah, let's head back.

- You know what?

I had a lot of fun with you.

Thank you.

- Good.

I did, too.

Especially 'cause you're gonna give me

a cut of your winnings.

(car lock beep)

- That's what you think.

- Oh, come on. 30%.

25%.

10%?

- Good luck with that.

- Dick.

(Doug laughs)

- [TV] Import prices took their sharpest plunge

in over eight years in March.

As costs of both imported petroleum and non-petroleum--

- [Channel change] ♪ It's okay to be fat

♪ Not a cat, that's just like-- ♪

(channel change, cheering crowd)

(knocking)

- How do I look?

- You look so good, I could dip you in butter

and sop you up with a biscuit.

- So, what do you guys wanna go do?

- Whatever.

What do you think, Doug?

- I don't care.

- I know a good bar we could go to.

- I'm ready.

- Not looking like that, you're not.

- This is all I got.

(sirens)

Are glasses really necessary?

- No, you look good.

Like, Rollercop.

- I look stupid.

- I think you look great.

Let's go.

- [Scott] Come on, maverick!

(engine starts)

♪ It's been such a long, long, long time

♪ And the devils and angels hanging around my bed

♪ They don't seem to mind

♪ They gonna drag me into the abyss

♪ Or into a state of eternal bliss

♪ I got one foot - [Doug] Hey,

♪ In the gutter - [Doug] It's loud in here.

♪ And one foot kicking in the door to Heaven

- Let's go dance!

- What am I gonna do?

- Come dance!

- Come dance.

Try and have fun, Doug.

♪ What will they ever find out?

♪ What will they tell my wife?

♪ I've been running with a wicked crowd

♪ An evil, faithless crowd

♪ I got one foot in the gutter

♪ And one foot kicking in the door to Heaven

- [Stephanie] Come on!

- [Scott] Let's see your moves, Doug.

♪ And one foot kicking in the door to Heaven ♪

(cheering and applause)

- [Singer] Thanks a lot, you guys.

Thanks for coming 'round to this place.

(slow tempo track)

♪ Sometimes I wonder

♪ If this is as good as it gets

♪ With each passing year it seems

♪ I add a few more regrets

♪ And this is the blackest night

♪ I think I have ever seen

♪ Riding on clay wheels

♪ 'Til the bitter end

- What's up, man?

- Where's Stephanie?

- Inside.

Come on, man.

What's wrong?

- I just have a headache.

- I got something that'll make you feel better.

- Uh, no.

No, no, no.

I-- No, no thank you.

- You ever tried it?

- No.

I don't do drugs.

- Come on, you take like 15 pills a day.

It's just weed.

It's not like a cigarette with a bunch of bullshit in it.

It's a plant.

It's like cilantro.

But it gets you high.

- There's no way you're gonna convince me to smoke pot.

(coughs)

When I was a kid,

I used to think drinking and driving

meant drinking anything and driving.

(laughs)

So when I saw my dad drinking coffee and driving,

I was like, "Oh my God, what are you doing?"

(laughs)

- Eagle Scout Doug saves the day.

- Eagle Scout. Right.

(laughs)

When I was in elementary school,

there was this huge hill by the playground.

It probably wasn't that steep,

but when you're a little kid, you know?

So I had one of my friends push me to the top of the hill.

And I would just

let go of the brakes and fly.

You know, I probably could've killed myself,

but it was just so much fun.

(laughs)

What time is it?

- Who cares?

- Thank you.

For this stuff.

- Anytime, man.

- You wanna trade?

- This is for concentration.

But it gives you a pretty good buzz, too.

- You're kidding me, right?

I feel fucking amazing.

- Doug, I need to use your phone.

Mine's dead.

Thanks.

(phone ringing)

- [Man] Hello?

- Oh, hi.

I didn't think you'd be awake.

- [Man] Uh, hi.

Now's not really a good time.

- It's two in the morning.

What's going on?

- [Man] Nothing.

I have to go, okay?

I'll talk to you later.

- [Woman] Who's on the phone?

(car starting)

- [Elation] Hey, Scott.

Shit, took you long enough.

Busy night, stud?

- Doug, Elation.

Elation, Doug.

- So this is him, hmm?

Hey, baby.

- I got you some entertainment, buddy.

Don't worry, man.

Elation's all class.

(giggles)

- Doug, are you okay with this?

- He's fine.

Let's give him some alone time.

Have fun, stud-muffin.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Do you wanna come over here a little closer,

so I can see you?

- This is not okay, Scott.

He could get hurt or catch something.

- Relax.

Elation's a pro.

- Doug needs someone to take care of him.

That clearly is not you.

- Maybe you could stop treating him like a child.

- You're so irresponsible.

- I'm irresponsible?

You're the one fucking your 50-year-old professor.

- Yeah.

That's right.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

(sobbing)

- So, what do you like?

- I...

I like movies.

(laughs)

- That's not what I meant, darling.

Come here.

- Uh, no don't.

Let's just...

- Why don't I help?

- Sure.

(clanging clasps)

- Is that okay?

- Yeah.

(unzipping)

(chuckles)

- Kinky, baby.

Mm.

Hmm.

Well, at least your dick works.

(chuckles)

- This is my, uh...

My first time.

(moans)

- That not okay?

- No one has ever touched me like that.

(gasp)

- I think there should be a first time for everything.

Don't you?

Now, I'm gonna make your first time

very, very special.

(heavy breathing)

- [Voiceover] Experience classic value

with rooms starting at $23.

Book your stay now, partner.

The Riv's right on the Strip.

Rooms and suites are going fast.

Call 855-468-6748,

or go to riveriahotel.com.

(moaning)

Mention code RSPC, and--

(moaning and grunting)

- Mm.

Mm.

Mm, these eggs are good.

Aren't they, Doug?

Mm.

I said, "Aren't they, Doug?"

Doug.

(moaning and grunting)

Scramble my fucking eggs, you wild stallion!

(gasping)

- Hey, Doug.

(snaps)

(glass clinks) - Oh.

I need a new plate.

- I should probably go help him out.

Hey.

Let me get that for you.

- I can manage.

I said I fucking got it!

(crash)

Aren't you supposed to see your friend today or something?

Isn't that why we're here?

- I don't know.

I gotta... call and figure it out.

- Call who?

- My friend.

- I'm onto you.

- Yeah?

- I know what you're hiding.

Why haven't I seen this friend?

Does he even have a name?

Whatever.

I don't care.

It's cool, man.

- What the hell are you talking about?

- It's your dealer, isn't it?

- Yeah, Doug.

I drove five hours across state lines to buy a dime bag.

Get some food in your system.

- I'm not hungry.

No, I'm having a wonderful time.

- [Mom] Really?

Because you sound kind of sad.

- I'm fine.

- When are you coming home?

- Probably tomorrow.

(sighs)

- I miss you, honey.

- I miss you, too, Mom.

I gotta go.

I'll talk to you later.

(dog whimpers)

- I did not give him permission to go.

(scoffs) What are you gonna do?

You certainly can't stop him.

(coughs)

- So, what do you want to do now?

- Where's Stephanie?

- I don't know.

You wanna go play blackjack?

- Nope.

- You wanna go get a drink?

- No.

- What's your problem, man?

- What's my problem?

You're my fucking problem!

You selfish asshole!

Are you really that thick?

- Doug?

Doug.

- I wanna go play some games.

Can you open the door for me, please?

- You want me to come with you?

- No.

("Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie)

♪ The Atlantic was born today

♪ And I'll tell you how

♪ The clouds above opened up

♪ And let it out

♪ I was standing on the surface

♪ Of a perforated sphere

♪ When the water

♪ Filled every hole

♪ And thousands upon thousands made an ocean

♪ Making islands where no

♪ Island should go

♪ Oh no

♪ I need you so much closer

♪ I need you so much closer

♪ I need you so much closer

♪ I need you so much closer

♪ I need you so much closer

(speaks foreign language)

(speaks foreign language)

- Are you sure?

- What, you've never seen a drunk cripple gamble

his Medicare away?

(foreign language)

- Sure thing.

- Sorry, buddy.

- Easy come, easy go.

(slurping)

(laughter)

- Doug?

Where have you been all day?

- Make your bets.

- I've been here and there and...

mostly here.

And I want you to meet my friend...

- Where's Scott?

- I don't know.

(slurping)

- Come on.

Let's go.

Save my spot.

[Croupier] Sure thing.

♪ I need you so much closer

♪ I need you so much closer

- I'll be in my room.

- Scott!

Scott!

What the hell?

- Hey.

- Roll down the window!

- What?

- What are you doing?

- Taking my medicine.

You want some?

- No.

What's wrong with you?

- Nothing.

- Stephanie wanted me to talk to you.

- Stay the fuck out of it, okay?

- You want me to stay out of your life?

Look who's talking, asshole.

- What?

- You go and you take away the one thing from me

that I really wanted.

- Are you kidding me?

I don't need this right now, man.

I got bigger problems to deal with.

- I got problems, too.

- Yeah, you're in a wheelchair.

We get it.

You're the only one in the world whose life isn't perfect.

- Fuck you!

You come into my life out of nowhere.

You convince me to come to this place

for a friend of yours, who as far as I can tell,

doesn't exist.

(gags)

And now, you're moving in on my personal life.

I care about Stephanie.

I don't need this.

I don't need you.

I don't even know you.

- Then get the fuck away from me.

Get the fuck away from me, goddammit!

(grunts)

(tires screech)

(gagging)

- Where's he going?

What happened?

- We got into a fight.

- What?

What did you guys fight about?

- (gags) You!

- Me? What?

Why would you fight about me?

- You honestly don't know?

First, you sleep with my professor,

then you sleep with my driver.

Is there anyone you're not sleeping with other than me?

(gagging)

- Doug.

(intense gagging)

Doug?

Hey, Doug.

Should I call someone?

(choking)

- I-- I need an ambulance.

(gagging)

Everything's gonna be okay.

- The sirens.

- What's that?

- Can you turn on the sirens?

(sirens blare)

- [Medic] What are his vitals?

- [Second Medic] BP 140/100.

Respiration, 32.

Pulse, 118.

- [Medic] Doors! Doors!

- Get him in, get him in, get him in.

I need you to wait outside.

- [Medic] O2 sat, 92 and dropping.

Ready?

One, two, three.

(ringing)

(heart monitor beeps)

(knocks)

- Hi.

He's out pretty cold right now.

- What's wrong with him?

- Pneumonia.

But it's very common in these neuromuscular cases.

- Excuse me.

- Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm here with Doug.

Is that your friend?

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's Kevin.

- Is, is Kevin your...

Are you, uh...

- I'm sorry.

- Scott, I get it.

It's okay.

- What's wrong with Doug?

Is everything okay?

- The doctor said that he has pneumonia,

and that it's common with his condition.

- I am such a shitty friend.

- I don't think there's anything you could've done.

This happens to him a lot.

He told me about the fight,

and that it was my fault.

- No.

It was my fault.

- How's Kevin?

(sighs)

- I should've been here earlier, but

his family's here.

- I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

- What's going on?

- (breaking) His...

His lungs.

- Hey.

- Hey, Doug.

- Hey.

- How are you feeling?

- Couldn't be better.

(chuckles)

More battle scars.

- (laughs) Some trip, huh?

You must've had some fun, right?

Scott showed you how to play blackjack,

you got lucky with a lady.

- He was determined to get me to have fun.

No one else even looks at me.

- I see you.

- I'm sorry about the way I acted.

- I thought about what you said, and you were right

when it comes to my relationships.

- Where is Scott?

- He's here.

I found him last night at the ICU,

visiting his friend Kevin.

When I left, he'd fallen asleep in a chair

outside his hospital room.

Um, Doug, did you know that Scott was, uh..

- What?

- I think Kevin is more than just a friend.

- Oh.

- Doug!

Oh my God, honey.

Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- I'm so glad you're alright.

Stephanie called me.

- Mom, I'm okay.

It's just pneumonia.

- Oh, God.

I knew this would happen.

I knew it.

I never should've let you come.

What kind of mother am I?

And you, young lady, I expected more from you.

- I'll leave the two of you alone.

- I thank you for calling.

- I'm fine.

- You don't look fine.

You look so pale.

Are they feeding you?

- Please, I'm fine. [Mom] You shouldn't be

in your chair, you should be resting

so the infection doesn't get worse.

- I'm fine.

- Oh.

Look, this is empty!

(out of breath)

Nurse!

- Mom, don't.

- Oh, God.

Excuse me!

- Can I help you with something?

- Yes.

Fill this.

What are you doing out of bed?

Come on.

- Mom!

Stop treating me like I'm a goddamn cripple child.

Dad's dead, not me.

- I'm just worried about you.

- I'm worried about you,

but I don't treat you

like a goddamn crazy person.

Go home, Mom.

- He was here.

How's Kevin?

- I'm so sorry.

- Where's Scott?

The friend that was with him.

- He left earlier.

- Oh, thanks.

Come on.

- [Video] Oh, look at you.

Look at you.

You're beautiful.

Hey, come here.

Come here.

Take a picture.

Come on, I got it set up.

Alright, you ready?

Smile.

Smile.

There you go, smiling.

Alright, say "cheese."

Say "cheese."

Cheese.

Oh shit, I got it on video.

Hold on, hold on.

- There he is!

By the sign!

Pull the van over.

Hey, wait.

I should talk to him.

He's my friend.

- Okay, I'll wait here.

- Scott.

- What are you doing here?

- What?

What are you doing here?

- Going.

- Going?

Going where?

- The hell do you want, Doug?

- I wanna talk to you.

- I don't.

- I'm sorry about what I said.

- That's nice to hear.

(passing vehicle)

He wouldn't let me see him.

He wouldn't let me see him,

'cause he didn't want to die with his family thinking

he was a faggot.

Guess he got his wish.

Do you have any idea how that feels, Doug?

No.

- Scott.

(zooming vehicle)

- You don't even know me!

I don't even know me!

I'm not a good person, Doug.

I used you!

That's what kind of person I am.

That's why I don't have any real friends!

Stay away from people like me, Doug!

(crash)

(screeching tires)

- Oh my God!

- Stephanie!

- Scott!

- Oh, God.

(Stephanie crying)

No, no, no, no.

(unintelligible whimpering)

(Stephanie shrieking)

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

- No, no...

(solemn piano)

(typing)

- Hey, Mom.

- Yeah, honey, what's up?

- We really need to get rid of that thing.

- No, no, no.

I'm, uh, too busy now, honey.

I have too much going on.

I mean, even today, you know.

I have yoga, and then I have lunch with Gwyneth

in Santa Monica.

Do you know how hard it is to park over there?

Then I have to go to the wallpaper store--

- Mom, it's time to move on.

- I am not going to throw your father away.

- We're doing fine without him.

It's been almost a year.

We need to do this.

That isn't Dad.

It's just ash.

We could take him to the beach.

- We met at the beach.

When I saw him coming out of the ocean,

I knew right away.

- Dad loved you.

- He used to take you to the pool.

- Yeah, I remember.

- He was so handsome in his little shorts.

(seagulls cawing)

- Bye, Dad.

- [Doug voiceover] The tortoise spends most of its life

slowly and quietly wandering the desert.

Some go their entire lives

without even seeing another one of their kind.

In a lot of ways,

I can relate to this.

We both spend a lot of time alone.

We both would be in trouble if flipped on our backs.

We both have shells.

The difference is

I've chosen to be trapped inside my shell.

For so long,

I thought it was my illness

that was closing me off to this world.

I started to see myself

as others saw me:

disabled and powerless.

My best friend

once told me

that I liked being treated special,

and he was right.

By showing me myself,

he drove me to be better.

He also taught me to open up to this world.

So, to this world I say,

"Fuck this.

"Fuck my lame body.

"I refuse to be bound by it.

"Fuck close-minded people.

"I refuse to be defined by them.

"And I refuse to wander

"quiet and desperate

"in the desert."

♪ Shooting stars and satellites

♪ From the passenger seat as

Thank you.

♪ You are driving me home

♪ "Do they collide?"

♪ I ask you and you smile

♪ With my feet on the dash

♪ The world doesn't matter

♪ When you feel embarrassed

♪ Then I'll be your pride

♪ When you need directions

♪ Then I'll be the guide

♪ For all time

♪ For all time

("Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie)

♪ The Atlantic was born today

♪ And I'll tell you how

♪ The clouds above opened up

♪ And let it out

♪ I was standing on the surface

♪ Of a perforated sphere

♪ When the water

♪ Filled every hole

♪ And thousands upon thousands made an ocean

♪ Making islands where no

♪ Island should go

♪ Oh no