Original subtitles

For 50 weeks of the year, Fort Lauderdale, Florida...

is a small corner of tropical heaven...

basking contentedly in the warm sun.

During the other two weeks, as colleges all over the country...

disgorge their students for Easter vacation...

a change comes over the scene.

The students swarm to these peaceful shores...

in droves, 20,000 strong.

They turn night into day...

and the small corner of heaven into a sizable chunk of bedlam.

The boys come to soak up the sun and a few carloads of beer.

The girls come very simply because this is...

where the boys are.

It is one week before the annual invasion. Meanwhile, on the campus...

of a Midwestern university, 1,200 miles to the north...

isn't this the living end?

- How do you feel? - Do you really want to know?

- I could upchuck right here and now. - I know what you mean.

Listen, they're having a sale on swimsuits at Kringle's.

Half-price. We ought to pick up a couple for Fort Lauderdale.

I'm not going, Tuggle“?-

What do you mean, not going? It was all set.

- I can't. - Why?

I'm behind in every course.

I have two term papers to make up. I just can't.

You can do it down there. At least we'll be out of Siberia for a while.

- We'll get some sun. - Sun? There is no sun.

I think they blew it up with the moon shot.

Merritt!

Hi, Tug. Kids, I just spoke to Angie.

Her roommate was down there last year and had a ball, an absolute ball.

- When are we leaving? - Merritt can't go.

- Merritt, if you don't go, I won't go either. - What have I got to do with it?

It's spring vacation.

If we were all smart, we'd spend spring vacation in the infirmary.

- Come on, we're late. - Mel.

- Can you talk to her during class? - Which class is it?

- Courtship and Marriage. - The birds and the bees?

You'll have the whole hour. Now lay it on thick.

Tell her that the trip is strictly for our health.

And that's no lie!

For many freshman women, college provides their first experience...

in an adult heterosexual society...

their first unrestricted contact with members of the opposite sex.

This sudden freedom may give rise to problems...

of interpersonal relationships.

Today we discuss two of those problems.

Random dating among college freshmen...

and premature emotional involvement.

Suppose we begin with you, Miss Andrews.

Miss Andrews?

Yes, Dr. Ranch.

Have you any comment to make...

on what our text terms "random dating"?

It certainly is random sometimes.

And have you arrived at any other world-shaking opinions?

Dr. Ronch, I really don't feel very well today.

None of us do, I'm sure. Answer the question, please.

Frankly, I thought the text was a little old-fashioned.

It didn't have much to do with modern college life as far as I could see.

And just how far is that?

Take the discussion on emotional involvement on the first date.

Nowadays, if a girl doesn't become a little emotionally involved...

on the first date, it's going to be her last, with that man anyhow.

Honestly, if a girl doesn't make out with a man once in a while...

she might as well leave campus.

She's considered practically antisocial.

You have used the term "make out." Define that, please.

I beg your pardon?

I should like to know what "making out" means...

and so would the class.

Dr. Ronch, I think they know already.

Making out is what used to be called necking.

Before that it was petting, and going back to early American days...

it was also known as bundling. It's all the same game.

I'm sure this "game" of yours is not mentioned in the text.

That's exactly the point I'm trying to make.

- Dr. Kinsey says-- - We are not discussing Dr. Kinsey.

We are discussing interpersonal relationships.

What could be more interpersonal than back-seat bingo?

Miss Andrews...

just what do you consider suitable subject matters...

for discussion in this course?

We're supposed to be intelligent.

So why don't we get down to the giant jackpot issue?

Like, should a girl or should she not under any circumstances...

play house before marriage?

I'd be afraid to ask your opinion on such a subject.

Don't be afraid. My opinion is yes.

Miss Andrews, report to the Dean.

You're quite outspoken, aren't you, Merritt?

Dean Cadwell, what happened today in class is my fault, and I'm sorry for it.

I intend to apologize personally to Dr. Ronch.

That might be nice.

You have an extremely high IQ, Merritt, and yet your marks are barely passing.

What seems to be the problem?

I don't know. I try, I really do.

I study like a fiend...

but there just doesn't seem to be enough time for everything.

Would you like to stay on here at the university, Merritt?

Yes, I would very much.

My family went to a lot of expense to send me here.

I'd hate to disappoint them.

So would I, but we may have to.

Suppose we let the final decision rest until after spring vacation?

Perhaps 10 days at home will help you to see things more clearly.

You are going home?

I had intended to.

I'd rather not see my folks just now.

It's not that they aren't wonderful. They're darlings...

but I can't talk to them.

Not about things that really matter.

Not about this.

- Come see me when you get back. - Thank you.

Dr. Ronch tells me...

When I spoke to her on the phone, she suggested...

that you might be overly concerned with the problem of sex.

Do you think you are, Merritt?

Dean Cadwell...

I'd say there were probably 500,000 coeds in this country.

I imagine 98% of them are overly concerned with that problem.

So in that respect, I guess I'm fairly normal.

Good afternoon, Merritt.

How did it go?

I'm still in school. I'm not sure for how long.

I think you were perfectly right to stand up to old Raunchy.

- Did you actually mean what you said? - About what?

You know, what you said about before marriage.

If I see one more inch of snow, just one more flake...

I'm going to absolutely barf!

Fort Lauderdale and Miami straight ahead.

Smell that ocean. Merritt, you look better already.

Considering we haven't slept in two nights.

Angie, just for safe, in case you ever meet my folks...

I spent spring vacation at your house, right?

In Chicago. Every second.

What if I run into your folks? Where were you?

Who cares? That's the nice part about being captain of the girls' hockey team.

- Your parents know you're safe. - Just feel that sun.

I'm going to soak it up through every exposable pore.

Me, too. Let's get a tan to end all tans.

How about it, Mar?

All I want is some peace and quiet and a chance to study.

You sure picked the right spot for it.

Last year, there were only 20,000 kids down here.

- Why don't we all admit it? - Admit what?

We're going to Lauderdale for one reason: to meet boys.

So now it can be told. What's wrong with running into a little fresh talent?

Nothing. So long as we're not hypocritical about it.

I certainly wouldn't mind dating some nice kids...

maybe even an Ivy Leaguer.

Wouldn't that be the end? A date with an Ivy Leaguer.

All I want is to meet a boy with feet as big as mine.

He looks pathetic. What do you think?

You just saved the life of TV Thompson, junior class, Michigan State.

For the privilege of a ride, I'll amuse you...

with interesting anecdotes for 310 miles.

I'm also an expert driver.

Besides which, I can sing and play the accordion, except I haven't got one.

- How big are your feet? - Thirteen.

Get in.

You pick up a solitary Wayfarer on the road, a Good Samaritan act.

You feel good and I feel good.

The most charitable thing you can do for people...

is to let them be charitable.

- Am I boring you? - Not with this kind of driving.

For example, take the way I got into college.

There I was, all set to enter Michigan, not a cent to my name. What to do?

For one thing, you can put both hands on the wheel. Do you mind?

One night, I read in the papers about...

Barbara Smith-Holmes Von Haversack, Jr...

and her fourth divorce.

Miss Moneybags claimed she'd led a very tragic life.

This ticked me off, so I wrote her a nasty postcard.

"Dear Miss Barbara Smith-Holmes etc.," I said...

"You and your very tragic blah.

"With your kind of collateral, you should beef?

"Here I am, I can't even swing one year's college tuition...

-"let alone four divorces." - Don't tell me she answered it.

A month later comes a letter from some secretary...

stating that Miss Barbara etc. was deeply touched by my note...

and hopes the enclosed will enable me to enter college.

The enclosed was a check for $2,500. You see? I let her be charitable.

- You didn't keep it. - No.

I paid one term's tuition and plunked down the balance...

on a second-hand Porsche, a red one, a real bomb.

- Where is it now? - Lauderdale.

I rented it to a couple of guys from school. That's how I financed my trip.

You don't mind if I don't believe this.

I don't ask for your belief, just your attention.

- Did you say your name was Tuggle? - That's right.

Suppose I give you a bang on the pipes...

and we lift a few cans together?

Could you translate that?

Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow, and we'll have a couple of beers.

I don't know. Maybe you'd better wait and see.

Wait and see what?

Stop the car.

Five feet ten and a half.

Without heels?

Without stockings.

That's a lot of girl, Tuggle. A lot of nice girl.

Where are you staying?

Fairview Apartments.

If you need any more hangers, let me know.

And that bed opens up double. I think you'll be very happy here.

I'm sure we will. How much does this happiness cost, please?

- Four of you, $22. - A week? That's not bad.

- A day. - A day? For what?

For a roof over your head, miss. Town's filling up fast.

- Shall we pay you now? - No. The morning will do.

Kids, careful with the lipstick, please.

- Not on the bedspreads. - Certainly not.

- Thank you very much. Good night. - Good night.

$22. There's a hole in the budget.

Merritt! Guess what.

Just below us, Ivy Leaguers, three of them.

How do you know?

Their door was open and I heard them talking.

You know, that accent.

I think they're Yalies, maybe even Harvards.

Yippee. Anybody got any preference for which bed?

How about you and me taking this? All right, Angie?

It's all right.

- Everything out of the car? - Yeah.

Say, listen.

- We got a little problem. - What?

Two kids from Ohio State came all the way down here...

now they can't afford the rates.

So I was thinking maybe they could stay with us.

- Girls, I assume. - Don't be funny. What do you think, Mar?

Any chance at all?

How would you like to share the floor?

You dolls!

Hi. I'm Melanie.

Just think, 20,000 kids out there.

Yeah. And 80% of them boys.

Gentlemen...

the city of Fort Lauderdale is once again under fire from the North.

We've survived it before, and I reckon we're gonna survive it again.

To you newly installed officers who've never seen action...

in the war against higher education...

I'd like to give you a little rundown on what to expect. Expect anything.

Anything and everything because that's what you're going to get.

Fort Lauderdale is not the only community to be invaded at this time.

In Palm Springs and in Newport, on the beaches of the Mid-Atlantic...

to the snows of Colorado, the students of America are gathering...

to celebrate the rites of spring.

And if you'll pardon a pun, they have that right.

They're our future voters, citizens of our country...

and they are our responsibility.

But how the hell to handle them, that's a different matter.

Now these kids didn't come down here to break the law.

They'll break it, sure, but that's not their main objective.

And remember, too, that they are our guests.

So I want every man on the force to try his best, his level best...

to try to avoid arresting anyone.

I know this is going to take great willpower, but try.

And above all, preserve your sense of humor...

because you're going to need it if you expect to survive.

And God bless you all.

The way it figures, after we pay for the room and the gasoline home...

we each wind up with $18 for nine days.

How are we going to swing it?

We must eliminate everything but basic starvation.

We will begin by rationing suntan oil, a bottle-and-a-half a day.

I'd rather starve than go home without an even tan.

- You may just do that. - Look, there are ways to cut corners.

Like for one thing, why don't we have a steak pact?

What's a steak pact?

If any of us ever gets invited out to dinner...

we order steak, we eat half, and we bring home the rest.

Angie, you've got a criminal mind.

Why not? People do it for poodles.

- One, two. - No!

Three!

- She certainly makes friends fast. - Two of them, no less.

Melanie, having fun?

They are Yalies. I was right.

You coming to the beach with us?

I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know later, okay?

Heads.

- Hi, what happened to your friend? - He had a date.

So have you, if you want.

- My name's Dill. - I'm Melanie.

That's a quick connection.

What do you say we blast off for the beach?

The beach. My first look at a Florida beach.

- Where's the beach? - According to this, it's across the street.

Think we ought to take out insurance?

Shame, isn't it?

Let's QM!

Thanks, angel. You're a real buddy-buddy.

Hi, students.

That was a pretty chintzy little stunt.

Don't blame me, blame modern civilization. Too many cars!

What about those beers we were supposed to have?

We were just heading for the beach.

Go on if you want to. We'll be right over there.

If we ever make it.

This way to the Elbow Room.

Car 19.

- Hold it. - Cal' 19.

What's that?

- Police calls. - Corner of Olmos and Almond.

Student in pajamas directing traffic.

I like to keep track of my friends.

All right, now get that vehicle out of here.

Come on, you fellows.

Go on. I got a sense of humor, but it's evaporating real fast.

Come on, move.

- Where are we? - The Elbow Room.

- Yeah? How can you tell? - Your eyes have to get adjusted.

- You're not afraid of the dark, are you? - Kid, let's see your ID card.

They're asking for ID cards. I don't have one.

- Here. Use this. - What is it?

Driver's license. You're Kitty Grouder from Macon, Georgia.

Georgia? I'll never get away with Georgia.

Don't worry. It's too dark to read in here anyway.

ID card. Let's see it, kiddo. You're 21?

What does that little old license say?

I know what the little old license says. I'm asking you.

My name is Kitty Grouder.

I'm 21 years old and I live in Macon, Georgia.

And you're 5"3', and your hair is red.

Only you aren't, and it isn't.

I'm still growing, and I dyed it.

Okay. Everybody but everybody in town is 21.

- Princeton. - Harvard, definitely.

- You can't get them all. - What are you talking about?

Men, naturally. What else is there?

- I never knew water could feel so good. - This your first time down?

It's my first time away from home, really.

I don't mean school, but that's only 60 miles from where I live.

I guess I sound naive, but I'm getting a big charge out of this.

What's the charge?

Being on my own, part of a bunch of live-it-up kids.

I never knew I could have so much fun in my life.

Dill, why ma?

Of all the girls in Lauderdale, you could pick and choose if you want.

What made you choose me?

Too many live-it-up kids around here.

Why don't we cut out for a while, find some nice beach built for two?

Don't tell me you hardly know me.

You wouldn't reach that far back for an answer.

You know, you're the first girl I've been able to talk to in a long time.

- I mean really talk to. - Thank you.

That's the trouble with the world today. We don't communicate with each other.

- Now take sex. - What?

I said, "Take Se)“.

- Now sex to most people-- - Could I have some more potato chips?

Sex to most people is a sort--

Which reminds me. Why do they call you TV?

I'm going into television. They hung it on me at school.

- Now take sex-- - I think that's interesting.

- Of course it is. - Television, I mean.

I was talking about sex.

To a lot of people, sex is a sort of--

- Listen. - Car 7.

Go to Pine Street and Oceanic.

Smiley's Bar and Grill. A riot.

-Isn't that awful. A riot. - And probably over a girl.

In the final analysis, everything comes down to sex.

- I was saying, take sex-- - We ought to take a walk.

- Where? - The beach.

- How can you get a sunburn in here? - Okay.

How long have we been in that place? It's dark out.

What are you, a clock-watcher? The day is young.

My first day in Florida, and I don't even go for a swim.

What's so Big Ten about dunking yourself in an ocean?

Personally, I never go in the water above here.

- Why not? - To begin with, I can't swim.

- Stop it. - No, I mean it. Swimming is for fish.

Then I must be a fish because I love it, and I didn't get to go.

You want to swim? I'll take you for a swim.

The swankiest spot in town, the Bahia Mar pool.

The Bahia Mar? You mean you actually live there?

Certainly not. I just use their pool.

Okay, kids. What will it be?

Two cups of hot water, please.

- Maybe I didn't hear good. - Hot water. Two cups.

I heard good.

- I'm embarrassed. - Don't be silly. We've got to cut corners.

This stool taken?

- Why, no. - Thanks.

- Two hot waters. - Thank you very much.

- Thank you. - Name it.

Bowl of soup.

You take sugar?

- He's looking at us. - Let him look.

- How about milk? - No.

You know, this is a nice place. We should come back often.

I always said you had a criminal mind.

Listen, you know what this saves us?

Where could you get a cup of tea at these prices?

Like, for one place, maybe San Quentin.

Here.

- Delicious? - Like dining at the Ritz.

What kind would you like, grape or apple?

Would you let that alone?

What's the matter with you?

Everybody does this. If it's on the counter, it's for free.

Where did you learn that, reform school?

He's looking again.

Will you stop worrying? We're customers.

- Want another one? - No. All I want is to--

What?

- Here. - That does it. Come on.

- Relax. - I'm getting out of here.

- We haven't even started yet. - I have, and I'm finished.

Could we have a check, please?

For what?

Two cups of hot water.

No charge.

It's very nice of you, I'm sure.

Only next time, would you do me a favor?

Take your business to my competitor.

Thank you.

Come on, Angie.

Now take sex. I don't know how you feel about--

Did you see that? A double shooting star.

That means we each get two wishes.

- Oh, boy. - What's the matter?

- Not a thing. - You know what I wish?

I wish I could come back to Lauderdale at least twice. That's what I wish.

I certainly enjoyed myself today. Thank you.

So did I.

- Sort of unusual for me. - Why?

I don't know. Lots of reasons.

Frankly, I'm a bust with women.

- They don't like me. - Stop.

Believe me. I've been shot down all over Michigan.

Very seldom do I get a second date with the same girl.

Then it's their fault.

I'm tricky.

I'm a fake and I guess they sense it.

You're not tricky, and you're not a fake.

You've got a kooky sense of humor, that's all.

If they don't understand you, that's too bad.

I understand you.

You do?

You certainly didn't hear any bells that time.

Anything wrong?

I don't know.

Maybe it's because I didn't have any dinner.

Do you want some more potato chips?

Car 9, students swimming in the nude at Silver Beach.

Tuggle.

- Do you think you could like me? - I think I already do.

A lot?

Are you a good girl?

Please. I don't want to disillusion you or disappoint you.

No. I won't be disillusioned or disappointed.

Are you a good girl?

I knew it.

So long, TV.

Car 5, Sixth and Grand.

A student creating a disturbance.

Not me, brother.

Good night, Mel.

Dill, you'd never say anything...

tell anyone?

Tomorrow.

Five, six...

seven?

Who's that?

I don't know. She was asleep when I got in last night.

- How did she get here? - Dodie found her.

She was going to spend the night on the beach.

- A junior from Wellesley. - Wellesley?

At least we're getting some tone in the place.

Seven souls.

That's a nice round number.

We'll have to hold a lottery to see who gets a bath.

Since when did you start smoking?

Since yesterday.

Dill smokes. I thought I'd give it a chance.

I don't inhale, though.

It's the tropics. Everybody goes to pieces in the tropics.

Hello there.

Hello there to you.

A girl from U got married here last year. Did you know?

What brought that up?

Nothing.

I just heard about it.

A sophomore from Swanson Hall.

She met this real nice boy. The next thing, they were married.

You've got your calendar a little wrong.

She met this boy here in March, and they got married in October...

two jumps ahead of the obstetrician.

Not for me, thank you. I made a vow on the way down here.

I promised myself I'd try for a man the chaste way.

So help me, I'll keep it if I have to drop in...

at the local blacksmith and buy a belt.

Hello?

Hello, TV.

Yes.

- Dill. -It's open.

Dill... Hi.

- Dill around? - He was earlier.

We had sort of a date.

His father called him this morning. Dill had to go to Fort Myers on business.

- Excuse me. - Wait.

If you'd like a stand-in for a couple of days...

-give us a holler. - Thanks.

Who's been drinking? I've been drinking?

Look, you've been giving us that for five days...

the same story every day.

At least I'm consistent, you've got to admit.

What is it between you and that TV character?

A potato chip orgy every day?

Not every day, no. Sometimes we buy pretzels.

What's the difference so long as you're having fun?

This is beginning to sound serious. Is it?

If you mean, has he measured me for a ring, no.

If you mean, if he ever suggests it, I'd think a long time...

like about 20 minutes before flinging myself on his chest.

You'd get married?

What about school?

Girls like me weren't built to be educated.

We were made to have children. That's my ambition:

to be a walking, talking baby factory.

Legal, of course, and with union labor.

And TV is the walking delegate.

He might be if I could ever lead him around to it.

I know he's not particularly good looking...

but underneath that silly exterior, he's really basically sincere.

Don't look now, but here comes Mr. Sincere.

What is he, queer for hats?

See you later, kids.

Here we are again.

What will we talk about today?

Would you like to hear my Russian vocabulary?

I'd hate to.

Doesn't it ever bother you?

- What? - Our state of single blessedness.

The lack of male companionship.

- Don't you ever think of it? Occasionally...

but I've decided not to major in it.

The mind is meant for many things.

Not mine. It just keeps saying, "Where is he?"

"Where is he? Where..."

Merritt Andrews.

Penmore U.

Frosh. Nineteen.

How about a cocktail?

I didn't know they served them in the Elbow Room.

I was thinking of a place called the Sheik's.

I've got to give up hockey.

Silent type, aren't you?

Sorry. Ryder Smith, Brown University...

senior class, age 22.

An Ivy Leaguer. I figured you might be.

- Why? - There's a look about Ivy Leaguers...

cool, like you couldn't even bother to perspire.

There's a look about you, too, the Midwestern look.

- Grain fed? - No.

A lot of them are, but you seem quite sophisticated.

Quite. I come from a large metropolis in Illinois...

called Cotter City, population 11,000.

My father owns the local drugstore.

Sophistication isn't a matter of where you come from...

or even what your family does.

It's the way you think, your outlook on life...

what you've experienced.

Experience, that's what separates the girls from the girl scouts.

Okay. I'm sophisticated.

Would you care to see where I live?

No.

I don't think you'd care for our place, either.

At least we could go for a swim.

You like it?

Very refined.

But we better leave before they sic the hounds on us?

They won't. it's mine.

Not exactly mine, but it will be someday.

My grandfather owns it. He was here most of the season.

Is this where your grandfather swims?

The fish don't mind, but usually over there.

That's the family put-put.

Would you like to go aboard?

May I freshen that for you?

No, thanks. I'm not much for the drinking bit.

- Good girl. - I'm not being prudish.

I just don't believe in getting smashed.

It's sort of juvenile, not really worth the effort.

How about some dinner?

Hello, Wesley? I'm at the boat with a guest.

We'd like to be served here.

Thank you.

He beat me to it. it's on its way.

I always knew rich people were rich.

I just never realized how rich.

What does a put-put like this cost?

Something over $1,000 a foot. This one's 52 feet.

- What bank did your grandfather rob? - He owns a couple.

That's more convenient.

A rowboat will never be the same to me again.

Would you like to stay aboard tonight?

Where will you be?

Not far.

That's probably about the coolest approach I've ever had.

I have to figure out a new classification for you.

Classification?

I've divided boys into three types:

the sweepers, the shakers--

Educate me. What's a sweeper?

The ones that sweep you off your feet, or try to...

often leaving large bruises.

The judo experts?

Right. Then there are the strokers.

They use the soft caress...

usually accompanied by soft words...

soft lighting, and soft music.

They set the stage?

If a girl gets too interested in the drama...

Act 3 is over before she even knows the curtain is up.

What's that third classification?

The subtles: the ones with the subtle approaches.

They have a lot of different techniques...

discussions of erotic literature, Freud...

the Coming of Age in Samoa, you know.

How about III Health Due to Frustration?

I think that one's been overworked lately.

You sound like you've been around quite a bit.

- I was Frosh Queen last semester. - Lots of dates?

All shapes, sizes, dispositions.

You still haven't answered my question...

about staying aboard.

We'll have to let that wait until we've researched...

your classification a little further.

And how long do you think that might take?

No telling. It might be quite a while.

A Brown man is trustworthy...

loyal, helpful, and patient.

You have a nice flow of talk, Merritt. What's your IQ?

Don't tell anybody, but it's high, 138.

This could be a long siege.

- What's yours? -140.

Hey, there, Mr. Ryder. Evening, Miss.

Hi, Wesley.

Thanks.

Do you mind if I just eat half of mine?

- You're not hungry? - Yes, but...

I've got this poodle.

We spend more time here than we do on the beach.

Here we go again.

Any broken tibiae here?

Any chips or fragments? You all in one piece?

No thanks to you.

Should be a little more careful, Baby Ruth.

You might have been seriously killed, jaywalking like that.

Jaywalking? You came out of left field.

Yeah. That's what they say about our music.

Boys and girls, youth of America...

the Basil Demetomos Quintet, purveyors of dialectic jazz...

will hold a musicale forthwith at the Elbow Room.

You are all invited. Beer is on the quintet.

No, please. We do not want applause.

Let's keep things as unfrantic and cerebral as possible.

If you have any questions, ask them during the breaks.

The selection you heard was the Nuclear Lave Sang...

composed by our percussionist.

Next is an original of my own...

written for guitar and flute, entitled...

A Meeting Between Shakespeare and Satchel Paige on Hempstead Heath.

Are we wonderful?

Are we the greatest you've ever heard?

Compliment me.

You're different.

Dialectic jazz is not only different, it's profound.

Beer for everybody. Let me know when that's gone.

What's dialectic jazz?

I don't dig dialectic. What's the scene?

Short girl, don't ever use jive talk in my presence.

If you want to speak to me, keep it civilian.

No! No minor seventh there!

- It's more immersion, less eruptive! -It's offensive in that sound plane.

My boys are tired.

Five days coming down here...

six concerts every day since we left school.

Six a day? No wonder you're loaded.

We did not earn this money. We never accept money.

As a matter of fact, we pay the audience.

Usually in beers. That way we're never indebted to anyone.

We can play what we want...

not what everybody else wants us to. We're incorrupt.

Like athletes, however, we sometimes...

become a little too finely trained...

and we need to reestablish social contact with our public.

- Date me tonight, Baby Ruth. - Booked.

- Date me tonight, big girl. - I got a date.

Let's not be insulting.

Date me tonight, short one.

What time?

Has anybody got a white...

Hello, Basil?

Dodie! it's for you.

Hello? I can't hear you.

What?

Yeah. Ten minutes.

I don't know why I bother to get dressed at night.

We usually land up on the beach anyhow.

- How are things going with you two? - About the same.

He hints what he wants. I hint about matrimony.

While each of us is hinting, the other isn't listening.

He certainly is persistent, though. He keeps knocking on the door.

It's just a question of how long I can keep it locked.

- Mer, I think your date's downstairs. - Thanks, Angie.

Mine hasn't even called yet.

Hello, Basil?

Okay, so your name's not Basil. Don't get insulted.

- This one's yours. -It's about time.

How's the romance?

What romance? He doesn't even know I exist.

How do you get through to a musician?

Maybe by being another musician.

It must be nice to go out with someone who wears a suit.

I never know what TV is going to look like from date to date.

See what I mean?

We're getting a little chummy, aren't we?

- Cigarette, please. - I felt we were hitting it off pretty good.

Too good. That's why I'd like a cigarette.

It's not hard to see you were Frosh Queen.

Thank you. Is that a compliment?

Yes. it was meant that way. Why? Are you insulted?

A little, yes.

No girl enjoys being considered promiscuous...

even those who might be.

That's a pretty old-fangled notion.

Sex is no longer a matter of morals. That idea went out with the raccoon coat.

- Sex is... it's part of personal relations. - Really?

It's a pleasant, friendly thing like shaking hands...

or making sure you catch a person's name when you're introduced.

I hadn't realized.

It's like contributing to charity or working on a civic committee.

As a matter of fact, it's actually serving your fellow man.

What about this old-fangled notion called love?

Shouldn't that figure somewhere in the proceedings?

Later, after we've become better acquainted.

More marriages go on the rocks because people aren't better acquainted.

It's talk like this that may get me bounced out of school next week.

It's nice to know we agree on something.

Isn't it? Let's see if we can agree on what time you take me home.

You mean now?

Now.

Sure losing face in this contest.

Aren't we the early ones tonight?

You have an argument or anything?

Ivy Leaguers never argue.

They discuss.

Oh, sister. Have we got any bicarb or anything?

Is this the residence of Melanie Toleman?

Sure. Fall in.

Okay. What happened to you?

I've been dining and I've been dancing...

and I've been drinking.

Put on some coffee. I'll get her things off.

Mer, I've been drinking grasshoppers.

Have you ever tasted a grasshopper?

Not intentionally, no.

No, not a grasshopper that hops.

A grasshopper in a glass that's green.

You'll be green, too, in the morning.

Who arranged this party, your friend Dill?

- No, not Dill. - Tug?

I was with Franklin.

You want to know something?

I'm in love with Franklin and Franklin's in love with me.

Isn't that the most wonderful thing you've ever heard?

You were right, so right.

That's fine. What was I right about?

Everything you said. The whole thing.

Good. You tell me all about it in the morning...

and we'll have a nice little talk.

- I want to talk now! - Beddy-bye, kiddo.

No! I've got to tell you.

I want to tell everybody all about Franklin and me...

and life and love...

- What do you think? - Definitely.

- Come on. - This way.

...and love with Franklin...

Me and Franklin and love and life...

How goes the battle?

Goes awful.

They say the only cure for a hangover is 24 hours.

Maybe I'll live that long.

- Want to tell me about it now? - Tell you about what?

I'm not sure, but whatever it was...

it certainly seemed important to you last night.

What did I say?

It was pretty incoherent.

Mostly about Franklin...

and I was right about something or other.

I said that?

You don't remember?

- I must have been really smashed. - Stoned.

But as long as that's all that happened.

Is it, Mel?

I don't know what you mean.

I'll run down to the library and get you some books.

I don't need any books.

And no matter what happened, I'm in love with Franklin.

I know it's none of my business, but a couple of days ago...

didn't you say the same thing about Dill?

What are you trying to do? Make me feel like--

I'm just trying to see that you don't get caught in a crazy merry-go-round.

I'm not caught!

All right. Let's forget it.

I'm sorry. I know advice is cheap.

It is when you don't take it yourself.

- Now we're talking about me? - Why not?

You sure haven't made a secret of the way you feel about things.

In fact, you've practically preached on the subject.

- Preached? - Talked, anyhow.

- Even that day in class-- - Is that what I was so right about?

You seemed to think so.

Since when am I the last word?

And what did that have to do with you anyway?

I was talking about people in general...

not kids who go out and get drunk together.

Don't!

Mar, don't spoil it for me, please.

I'm sorry.

I'm all right.

I know what I'm doing.

Would you do me a favor?

Would you hang around with us once in a while?

You're always so alone. We never see you anymore.

I will.

Look, Ryder’s invited me out for a run on the boat this afternoon.

Would you come with us?

I'd love to...

but I think I have a date with Franklin.

All right, then. I'll see you tonight.

Early, and in much better shape.

You don't mind my asking Melanie along?

No. Why should I?

Two people by themselves get lonely, but with three, it's a real ball.

I had a reason for it. Thanks for letting her come.

Anytime at all. I understand these things.

You feel you need a chaperone.

With you? Whatever for?

I don't know why I waste my time with you.

I guess maybe it's because I like you.

Funny, that's the first time lever said that to a girl.

Stop. The first time you ever told a girl you liked her?

I've said I loved them, but I never said I liked them.

Purely dialectic.

Man, this dialectic's too much!

We're home, kiddy.

Too soon.

- Let me in on it. - I was just thinking.

Do you know where I am tonight?

I couldn't guess.

- I'm in Chicago. - No.

Yes. I'm in Chicago at Angie's house, and I'm playing bridge.

That's a nice pastime.

That's what I wrote in a letter to my parents.

Somebody mailed it for me from Chicago.

I'm glad I'm not in Chicago.

I'm glad I'm here with you.

So am I.

Does everyone feel the same way we do?

Or are we very special?

Feel the same way how?

About each other, as though we've known each other for ages...

instead of just a few days.

- Everything's happened so fast. - That's the climate.

Instant romance, guaranteed by the Chamber of Commerce.

It must be. A girl from school...

came down here last year, and she met a boy from Columbia, a senior.

They knew each other one week, and the next thing, they were married.

Just one week.

Yeah. That's the trouble with those Columbia jokers.

They're too impulsive.

Who let you in?

Anybody here from Princeton?

It's not that I drink too much.

It's just that I drink all the time.

You may rub rosin on my bow.

Gin.

Forty-two.

That puts you down 6,984 points.

- You owe me 17¢. -You want it now?

From what I hear about your credit standing...

- I'd say you could be trusted. - Thanks.

Anybody for swimming?

Come on, TV. Even though you can't swim, at least get wet.

Water's for drinking. Attention, class.

Have you two happened to notice the date lately?

Mr. Smith and I have, and for your information...

we have exactly two days left to this vacation.

- Two days? - Snow and ice, Dr. Ronch and the Dean.

Be comforted. TV has an announcement.

Students, in view of the impending disaster...

we are about to start living it up.

Tonight we hit the showplaces, the hotspots...

to mingle with the elite.

Your hosts: Mr. Ryder Smith and your humble servant.

- You mean, dress-up stuff? - You may dress to the nines.

- Right, my friend? - To the nines.

What are you going to wear, your baseball suit?

Now, there's an uncalled-for remark.

Two days? Come on, Tug. Let's take advantage of it.

- Nice kids, aren't they? - Yeah. Maybe a little too nice.

Funny thing about women...

if you don't make a big pitch for them they get mad.

If you do, they get mad. How can you win?

You can't. They aren't playing for the same stakes.

I know what you mean.

While you're seeing stars, they see a wedding ring.

They're so darn practical.

You know something?

I don't think they realize what a risk marriage is for men.

Not so much for a guy like you. You can afford to be wrong.

I can't even afford to be right.

Car 7, go to Paradise Hotel.

A live hammerhead shark has been placed in the pool.

Things are heating up for a grand finale.

Bye. kids!

Have fun tonight.

Have a good night, Dodie.

Do I look all right?

- You'll sweep him off his feet. - I'll bet.

Two days left.

If he doesn't say something about something tonight, I think I'll clobber him.

What's the score in the Ivy League? Still playing off the tie?

Tug, do you think the daughter of a small-town druggist...

could find happiness as the wife of a millionaire...

from South Knuckston, Massachusetts?

You're kidding! Mar, I'm so happy for you!

Mar, that's mystic, absolutely mystic.

Wait. Do not mail the shower invitations yet.

- The subject hasn't even come up. - What?

I just have a feeling that it might, and I want to be ready with the answer.

Look, I want a frank statement of fact. Do you see any improvement in me at all?

- Angie, you look wonderful. - You look great!

- Straight arrow? - Sure. You'll sweep him off his feet.

Crazy.

Come in.

- Hi. You kids ready yet? - Hello, Basil. How are you tonight?

Okay, short one. Come on. Let's go.

Sweep him off? I'll knock him off.

- Good night, Mel. - Good night, Tuggle.

You sure you won't change your mind and come along?

No, thanks. I just don't feel like going out tonight.

I hate to think of you sitting here all alone.

I'll be fine. Besides, Franklin may call.

- Have a good time. See you tomorrow? - Good night.

I don't understand it. He's always so prompt.

Maybe he went to rent a costume.

He doesn't have to. He invents them.

I don't care if he's looking like Whistler’s Father...

-as long as he-- - Good evening, fans!

- Why, TV, you look dreamy. - Let's blast off, people.

- The night isn't getting any younger. - And neither are we. Let's go.

- Operator. -Could you connect me with Room 5?

Hello? I can't hear you!

- Come on, Franklin. Don't be a staller. - Will you wait a minute, fellows?

Hi, Mel.

Hi. I don't usually invite myself to parties...

but it sounds like I'll be awake all night anyhow.

I wouldn't invite my worst enemy to this party.

It's a convention of idiots.

Am I going to see you?

Am I going to see you tonight, I mean?

Yeah. I'll meet you later. Give me time to get rid of the idiots.

Same place. About 10:30. Yeah. You wait for me.

All right. I'll be there early.

Please try to hurry.

I propose a toast to Michigan!

And to the Tropical Isle.

The Fairview Apartments!

Your glasses are very weak in this place. As a matter of fact, so are your drinks.

Please, no excitement? Be nice?

- All right! Now take sex. - You're always taking sex.

I wish you'd take something else for a change.

The day I do, you may fling my ashes to the wind.

Excuse me. And good evening.

What's in that, anyhow?

A love potion.

I've tried everything else, and now I'm trying to get you blotted.

Blottoed.

You know something, Ryder? You just may succeed.

- In what? - In getting me blottoed.

What's wrong with you? I like that kind of music.

You call that music? They're probably using old Mozart arrangements.

My glasses. I can't find my glasses.

- Here. - Not those glasses! These glasses!

- Lock the doors! - Please, no excitement!

Or I ask you to get out from here! Please!

- I think I found them! - Where?

- Aren't these your glasses? - Thanks.

- Turn on the lights! - Somebody stepped on them!

Someone stepped on my friend's glasses!

Now, what sort of an establishment are you running here?

- Please, sit down! - I'm blind.

- You'll have to lead me around, Angie. -I'm Merritt. That's Angie over there.

- Do you hear me, Angie? - I hear you.

Once again, the management takes pleasure in presenting...

Lola, the sea nymph of the Tropical Isle!

What lungs.

- Get those lungs. -It hasn't anything to do with her lungs.

She's got a little hose down there she breathes through.

You see?

What lungs.

- What's going on? - Lola, the sea nymph.

- What's she doing? - Breathing.

TV, you...

What happened to TV?

- Did anybody see TV? - What's going on?

- He can't even swim! - What's going on?

TV! Come on out!

He's caught in the ladder!

Get out from in that tank!

That's beautiful.

- Lay down, boys! - Can you hear me? Be careful!

Here!

Get out from in!

Angie, what's going on?

- Get out now! - Give him air!

- Angie, what's going on? - Look out, Basil!

You can't see!

Up!

He can't see!

Out!

Look! Please! Get out!

Last one in is a rotten egg!

- One at a time. - What's going on?

May I have a word, please?

I think I can straighten out this whole matter in no time.

Go ahead.

This gentleman here cannot swim, you see?

No, I don't see. If he can't swim, what was he doing in the tank?

But that's the whole point.

He dove into the tank because he admired me.

He risked his life just to show me how much.

I call that gallantry, don't you?

And there's so little gallantry left in the world.

I don't think he should be punished for it.

I think he should be rewarded.

- Consider that, now. - Yeah, consider that.

Out. Everybody out.

Go on. Get out. And stay dry.

Wait a minute!

Haven't I seen you in here before?

Just once, and purely by accident.

The night my strap broke.

Out, out. Go on! Get out!

Class, the night is still young. What do you say to a beach party?

How about Jade beach?

I wish I was dead.

Ladies and gentlemen, we will now play an original--

We will now play an original tone poem entitled...

Don't Litter the Streets of Philadelphia.

That act you do in the tank, stupendous routine you've got there.

- Stupendous! - Thank you.

It's all a matter of breath control. You have to learn to control your lungs.

What lungs.

Showbiz. Must be a great life.

It has its rewards...

the lights, the glamour, the applause.

- Yeah. Boy! - I was in showbiz myself once.

- On television. - Where?

It was up at school, the day they made me...

honorary colonel of the ROTC.

I love the whole world tonight and everybody in it.

Me included?

- You included. - But not enough?

Here.

No more gargle for you, young lady. You'll be on your ear.

I thought you wanted me that way.

Maybe I'm feeling charitable, Merritt.

- I was married once. - You were?

In Detroit where I was playing.

He said he was a big tool-and-die man.

I was only 19...

and he was no big tool-and-die man at all.

He screwed bolts at some auto plant.

I've seen the seamy side of life, my little one.

It hasn't all been beer and roses by a long shot.

We all have our troubles.

You know mine?

I'm a bust with women.

Out-and-out, complete and absolute.

The only woman who was ever nice to me...

was Miss Barbara Smith-Holmes-Von something.

The only woman.

I think that's a stinking shame.

You know what I want tomorrow?

I want to go out on the boat all day long.

I want to keep going in a straight line and never turn back.

That'd be fine, except the boat went out of water for repairs today...

and tomorrow I'm heading North.

Tomorrow? You have to?

A few hours from now, we'll be saying goodbye.

Nice to have known you, Merritt.

I could stay down a couple of days, Merritt.

It wouldn't matter.

Stay with me, Mer. We need time. This is new to me.

The way I feel about you, I don't know what it is.

Maybe that old-fangled thing called love. Do you suppose, Mar?

Before getting acquainted?

My Shoe!

Remember me?

I'd like to go home, please.

So who's stopping you?

You go on ahead. I'll catch up.

Are you following me? What for?

Because I thought we liked each other.

Does that mean you own me?

What right have you got to tell me what to do?

What are you, my mother or the PTA or something?

Leave me alone.

All right.

- Come on. - Wait.

If we're going, let's go. You said you wanted--

Will you please shut up? Please, just shut up.

Franklin couldn't show. He got tied up with the idiots.

Oh, no.

- Nice to see you again, Mel. - No.

What's this?

No. Please, no.

Tug, the phone.

Hello? What?

I don't understand you.

Who is it?

Who is this? Melanie?

I want to speak to Merritt.

Hello? Hello, Melanie?

Melanie, what is it? Where are you?

We're in a motel.

Where?

Are you all right?

Melanie, answer me!

What is it?

Let's get out of here, Merritt. Will you come with me?

- Where? - Anyplace. Anywhere we can be alone.

Don't you want to?

I don't know.

- Merritt-- - All of a sudden, I'm...

Don't be frightened.

I'm not frightened and I'm not being coy.

It's just that I've...

I've never done anything like this before.

You certainly had me fooled. All that talk--

That's all it was, is talk.

- Unless you love me the way I love you-- - I love you, Merritt.

I love you.

- What is it? - Something's happened. Melanie called.

- She wanted to talk to you. - What did she say?

I don't know. I couldn't understand. She's in trouble.

- Where is she? - I don't know. A motel or something.

Silver Beach. That's all I could get.

- Silver beach? - Up the road about five miles. Come on.

Crazy kid.

One more thing. When they brought her in...

the nurse said she was mumbling something about a boy named Dill.

- Do you know where he can be reached? - No, sir.

- What's he got to do with it? - He was at a motel with her earlier.

- Walked out and left her. - I know where to reach him.

Fairview Apartments, Apartment 5.

She'll be all right.

I talked to the ambulance doctor. He didn't think it was too bad.

I suppose somebody should thank you.

I'm sorry I'm not in a grateful mood right now.

Are you going to blame me for what somebody else did to her?

I blame all of you who think of a girl as something cheap and common...

just put here for your personal kicks.

Look, she got mixed up with the wrong people.

Have you met any right ones lately?

- Am I all through? - Yes. Go ahead.

Merritt Andrews? She wants to see you.

Room 136.

How is she?

She'll get by.

Just for a minute. She'll be asleep soon.

Are you all right?

I lived it up, didn't I, Mar?

- I sure lived it up. - Melanie, don't.

Why didn't I die, Mar?

Look, everything's going to be all right, do you hear me?

As soon as you get back to school.

No, not school. I want to go home to my father.

I want to talk to my father and my mother.

- They'll tell me what to do, won't they? - Sure, they will.

I'll wait and go home with you, we'll take the bus together.

We'll have a wonderful trip. You wait and see.

I feel so old.

Mel, listen.

Now, it's not the end of the world. You've got a long life to live.

You've got a long way to go.

You'll meet somebody, some nice boy back home.

Some nice boy.

Then I'll tell him all about my wonderful spring vacation.

He'd like to hear that, wouldn't he, Mar?

Mel, listen. it's all right.

It's all right, darling.

You go to sleep now.

You want to hear the big joke, Mar?

They weren't even Yalies.

I got here as soon as I could. How is she?

We don't know yet. How would you hear about it?

I went to the apartment to find you. Dodie told me.

I want you to know, Tug, I wasn't anyplace else tonight.

One, two, go!

- Tug, you forgot this. - No!

So long, Merritt. Give Melanie our love?

- Sure will. - See you in the frozen north.

Lift your right leg six inches. There you are.

Thanks. You know something?

- You're a very beautiful girl, Angie. - That's right.

- I got to keep this kid in the dark. - Come on, Tug! Let's hit the road!

Okay. Here.

- How long are you going to be here? - The doctor says it'll be two or three days.

- Anything I can do for you? - Just let me know if I'm still in school.

- Okay. Take care of yourself. - I will.

Goodbye, Merritt.

Yes, and brush up on your interpersonal relations.

- TV, you watch your driving. - You mean, two hands on the wheel?

Like this?

What's going on?

Ryder Smith.

Brown University, senior class.

I heard you were staying behind.

I thought I'd hang around, drive you and Melanie home.

- Thank you. - How's she doing?

Corning along. It'll take time, but she'll pull out of it.

I'm sorry about the other night, what I said at the hospital.

- Don't apologize. I had it coming. - I was angry.

More than that, I was just plain scared.

I kept thinking it could have been me.

It could have been Ryder.

You'd never lose your grip.

You're a pretty strong girl, Merritt.

Not really. No girl is when it comes to love...

what she thinks is love.

How do you know the difference?

Do you love me, Ryder?

I think so.

Do I love you, Ryder?

I hope so.

Look, I don't have the answers any more than you...

but for us, anyhow, it's not the way we started out.

I'm sure of that now.

I don't want to know you for just a few days or a spring vacation.

I'd like to know you for a long time, Merritt.

I'd like to know you, too.

A lot of big things coming up this term...

senior prom, house dance, graduation.

A lot of big things. You think you can make a couple of them?

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