Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

I can sense him nearby. He's here.

What are you doing here?

Are you lost or something?

Then what is it? Speak!

Listen here, this is not your time or place

and you are not supposed to be here. But I am here.

Leave these people alone. It is an unkind thing for you

to do coming here now. Look here -

I have the time. I saw of your coming,

I saw of the pain you will inflict.

The last thing these people need is the devil.

Have pity on them. I'm only doing what I'm supposed to do.

I can't bare your sight. Then walk away.

Go away. I shall.

Why does he visit in these modern times?

His harsh nature isn't needed here.

Clear sight of the devil in this

year - appearing to take souls in the city.

The beast. He ought to be hiding, away from sight.

Listen, my dad is in a bad way, and I just can't afford to come and visit you right now.

Hang up the phone. Hang on love,

there's this really weird guy here. I said hang up the phone.

Why? - I just said, hang it up.

You won't believe it, what's going on right now. - I said, hang up the phone.

What are you doing to me?

What you want. I never said I wanted this. But you thought it.

Excuse me? You should have what you want.

That's not how the world works. What if just this one time this was the way the world worked?

No. The world doesn't

Let go of you? Yeah. - I can't.

Please stop. I can't. I'm asking you to stop.

Stop now. This isn't funny. Was the kiss bad or something?

Yeah. You seem really out of practice. That's a lie.

I can tell when you are lying. Fine. So I won't lie.

The kiss was great. But I've got a life.

And your just some stranger that's just walked up to me. - I'm whomever you want me to be.

Is that some sort of chat up line? It's whatever you want it to be.

Mate do you think I'm desperate or something?

Stop. I'm going.

Look mate, I don't

how you got here - but I said, leave me alone.

Don't you think its charming? Charming? Yeah.

How came here just for you? You're weird.

Don't let life pass

you away. My life is going just fine.

Miss.

Your bleeding. I know.

Fuck. I'm gonna die, aren't I?

Why'd this have to happen to me today?

It's bad. Really bad. I've seen

worse. Although it is not exactly pretty.

I can see you insides basically.

What's going to happen to me. Somebody

called an ambulance? Sure, some young fella has just made the call. I just thought

you might want a chat. When

are they coming?

Is there anything I should do? Is someone

ought to do something to stop the bleeding yet? pAt this very moment

the emergency services are on their way. You'll probably pass out before they arrive.

the emergency services are on their way. You'll probably pass out before they arrive though.

Of course, they'll still try to revive you

they might even succeed, for a bit.

It won't last long. Your life is coming to an end.

You should probably start thinking about what's next?

Or rather, you ought to start thinking about love

ones. My loved ones?

Do you have an insurance policy in place?

A plan which includes a payout upon your death to your family?

My family? I know you have a family.

I can't remember. Trust me.

You have one.

If you say I have one, then I guess I have one.

And an insurance policy?

The kind that has a clause about this sort of thing?

Insurance? What insurance are you talking about?

The type that has a clause about death by vehicle. Death?

Vehicle? Don't you remember?

Remember? Ah

Remember what?

I am starting to feel quite

funny. A bit cold actually.

It's the blood. It's rushing around your body.

It's trying to keep itself alive. And you've probably

started to feel the full effects of the shock now.

But seriously, the insurance policy - if you haven't got

life insurance now, it might be the right time to get some.

In my current state? Who will want to sign me up?

We would. Who are you?

And why are you trying to sign me up?

I'm bleeding

out here for god's sake!

Can you please call an ambulance or something? The emergency services

are on their way. Good.

I don't know how much more pain I can take. pNo more pain?

Sure. I can promise that. Just sign here.

What's that? Your new insurance policy.

Sign it. I'll take your soul. And your family

will receive a big pay out upon your death.

My family.

There.

That wasn't so complicated. Was it? No.

Not too complicated at all.

Hello?

I'm not dead. Not yet.

I don't want your insurance policy

I don't want your insurance policy anymore.

You've already signed the papers. It's over.

Damn you. I'm not putting up with this.

I'm not dying here

and going to your stink hole.

Hell can wait for someone else. I don't want to go there.

Our father in heaven,

I know I have not spoken to you for a long time

but I remember the good things.

Please.

I don't want to go to hell.

Take me to heaven.

I want to go there.

See.

I'm going to go -

Ah. You see. You died. Just

as you were about to say amen.

See you in hell.

I don't want to do that. Disrupting the view am I?

Do as I said and I'll get out of the way.

That's a gross idea.

But it is a good idea. Go on.

I don't want to do it. Say you will, and I'll get out of the way.

What's the matter kid?

Go on. Off you go. Just as I suggested.

Get out of my head. I'm not in your head Roy.

What do you mean? I'm here.

I'm real. Wake up.

Wake up. Wake up!

Wake up, wake up.

Wake up, WAKE UP!

You? No. Are you alright?

I just saw you wake up in a panic.

I'm fine.

You look kind of familiar.

So do you.

I saw you in my dream. The dream

you just had? It looked more like a nightmare.

I don't remember it. But,

I don't remember it. But,

you remember me? Yes.

So,

now what? You've got a really nice smile.

Your sweet - do you want to kiss me?

What's the matter? I, eh, I don't know

what's going on. What just happened?

I thought you were someone else.

I think you need medical assistance. Do you mind if I call - No. No, no, no... p-p-please

Please don't. I'm really sorry.

Hello Roy. Who are you?

What's going on? I'm the devil my child.

I've come to grant you a wish.

Please leave me alone. Why?

Don't you want to take advantage of her?

This must be a nightmare. This isn't a nightmare.

Not if you are having fun. This is a dream.

Right Roy?

I gotta wake up. Wake up - wake up, wake up - wake up!

Wake up - wake up - WAKE UP!

So you

do want her after all? Come here little boy

I'm ready for you to do whatever you want

make me crawl on all fours and bark like a bitch for you.

Have you come to join us Roy?

Then what do you want?

Nothing. I don't want anything.

Hey!

What are you doing? What?

I asked you what you are doing. Your looking at me really strangely. Nothing.

I just thought I'd seen you before. That's all.

Look if you are trying to make a move on me or something then just hurry up.

Your kind of cute - but staring is rude and creepy.

I'm not. I'm not trying to hit on you or anything.

Fine. Leave me alone then.

Sure.

Are you having trouble breathing?

Just - ah - hard. I'm sorry I can't help you just yet.

I'll be fine. No you won't.

Leave me alone. You could do with some water, or maybe some medical assistance.

Believe me - I know the face. What do you want man?

I want your signature, and then I will help you.

What are you on about? I'm an insurance salesman.

Yeah, sure you are. Here - take this, we haven't got much time

Sign this.

Can you help me now? You should never sign anything without

reading the terms and conditions very carefully.

No, wait! Please help me, help me!

So Syliva, you are still having trouble sleeping?

I'm sorry to hear that. I thought

we had the right medication this time. So did I.

I guess we can strike through this option, and try the next one?

Now, you are aware that we are progressively moving

towards stronger medication here, and the next medication

specifically is very drowsy, and it'll effect

your day to day life. I can't carry

on like this. I need to get some sleep.

My life is a mess. I just

I can't, I can't carry on.

I'll prescribe you hypnos then.

But please, if anything happens, I want you to stop taking it

immediately. Whatever you say.

I just need to get some sleep.

So here's the kitchen.

Are you partched?

Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm fine. I've just got headache.

That's quite a combination. I'll be alright.

You can just put the package here.

I don't remember ordering anything? I need you to sign.

What is it?

It doesn't say anything. You don't remember ordering it? No, I just said I don't

remember ordering it. It's your insurance policy and a gift.

My what? You signed up for an insurance policy, am I right?

Yeah, I found a place online. Good.

That's why I'm here now.

So what's in the box exactly? Your paperwork.

And a gift. That's insane.

Do I have to read much? Oh not so much.

Don't forget the gift. What is it?

The gift? A block of gold.

Excuse me, what?

Your rich now. This is a joke. Right?

It is what you want it to be. A bit of gold

for exchange of your soul. I don't believe you. No, go

ahead take a look.

I don't believe it.

I told you it was real.

You said something about my soul. Yeah, your soul

will belong to us. That is if you take the gold and live your life on our dime.

This is a really weird insurance policy.

It is what you want it to be.

Take it.

What? I don't want your box, I don't want your gold and am sure as hell

not giving you my soul, so then take it, go on - get out!

But you invited me, and you've already accepted the deal, and you opened the box.

No. Just sign it.

I'm sorry you are unwell.

I think you need to leave. I'm feeling quite drowsy.

Just here -

Just here -

just sign and I will leave you alone.

What? No. I need you to go.

This is a very silly situation.

Just think how much sleep you'll have when you know you are rich and insured by us

you'll never have to worry about financial insecurity again.

Or not having a job. Or not having nothing to do all day.

Just SIGN it.

It won't take you long to come around to our idea of being happy and rich.

I - I think you need to go.

Just sign it and I will leave you -

Hmmm God.

I'm really not feeling well.

You aren't going to sign the policy?

Ok.

Sylvia - What?

Just sign the policy. No.

Gawd - get out.

Gawd - get out. You aren't going -

No, I'm not going to sign your policy, I don't want your block of gold. And take it. Get out of the house.

No, I'm not going to sign your policy, I don't want your block of gold. And take it. Get out of the house.

I can't give you my soul anywhere.

I'm a religious woman. I've got the fear of God in me.

Oh really? Didn't know that.

Wake up!

Am I dreaming?

What dream is this?

So what if after two days of using the policy say

I spent some of the money, and then I decide I don't want the policy, so I give you

all the cash back, including what I've spent, and I request to get out of the policy. What then?

Well that's in breach of the actual contract. pMeaning what?

You can't walk out of this within two days? pWell, how many days is my

my grace period?

Is the devil meant to be a fallen angel? Yes, I am. Well, at some point you must have belived

Is the devil meant to be a fallen angel? Yes, I am. Well, at some point you must have belived

Yes, I did. Well then tell me, what is

my grace period to get out of the policy to get out of this policy you want me to sign, what is my

back door no fees exit if I - you know, if I change my mind?

I don't know. I don't remember seeing anything in the original copy.

and sure as hell don't remmeber - - What's so funny?

You said sure as hell. Well, I know the place, I should be able to refer to it

What's it like?

Hell? Yeah. It's not too

dissimilar from here. Though at least hell, assholes don't have mouths.

In hell they have big gaping assholes

for mouths and they walk around shitting crapping and farting all over the place

it's a lot of fun. Now come on.

Sign this. Can't I vist

it first? Like a tour or something. This is not like buying a house.

I know, but well surely it makes sense that I get

to see where I'll end up is all. Ok, just this once

So, this happens often? Sometimes, but

we're pretty busy down there actually. I don't normally come up here looking for souls.

And when I do, it is just me having a bit of fun. pWell go on, then - show me

We'll have to find somewhere.

I need to open a portal. Then do it, what's the big deal?

OK, fine. Follow me.

You go first, I'll follow you,

Sure. You know the place, is all.

I don't know.

Welcome to hell. It is not as hot as I thought it would be.

Yeah, we got air conditioning a while back. The man who invented it

ended up here. Really? Why? Did you make

him sign his soul away in exchange for the technology for air conditioning? p- Not at all.

His machines had caused damage to the ozone layer, so he needs to be punished.

It's kinda underwhelming if I'm honest.

Well, we're just in the show room part of hell. The truth is I can't show you

more than this. Look - someone

- is coming our way. - Excuse me.

Yeah? Can you help me? I don't know what you want me to do.

I never wanted to be here. This is a horrible life. I need

to leave this place. I'm sorry, I'm just visiting.

There is actually something you can do. p- What is it?

Please do something for me, I beg of you!

- You could take her place. - Please, do it!

- But I'm going, no - sorry. I need to leave.

- Sorry Alexa. - I get it.

Good luck, and consider your decision wisely.

So,

are you going to sign it? I don't know. I mean, it didn't

look as bad as I thought it would be. pSo sign the bloody thing.

You are offering me a pretty comfortable life before the afterlife. pDeals like this

only come once in a lifetime. Come on!

Oh shit. Your not supposed to be here. But I saw the light.

Your just dreaming. Go back to where you came from.

Am I alive again? - No. You aren't.

Am I alive again? - No. You aren't.

Am I in a limbo? Is that why I was able to come back? pNo.

Then what? Nothing, it doesn't concern you.

Are you listening to me?

Go back to where you came from.

Excuse me,

Yes? Can you see that man over there?

A man? Yes.

There. There is a man just over there.

Can you see him? I'm sorry, I don't see anyone.

But you are real?

Yes, I'm real.

What are you doing here? I'm taking pictures of the park.

Oh, that's understandable I guess.

Is there anything I can help you with?

No. There isn't. I guess

I'm just going a bit mad. What does the man look like?

He has dark hair. He looks tired.

there isn't much to say

he's not that strange

And where is he now? Same spot.

Just over there.

Eh, perhaps I should take a picture - maybe the camera can see him. pIt's

Ok. No, let me entertain the idea for you.

Ah! Will you look at that?

I don't think we should have done that.

Why not? It's strange.

I wonder

if the person is a ghost. I believe

in ghosts. You must be a very spiritual

person to be able to see a ghost. I'm not spiritual at all.

It isn't a ghost.

What do you mean?

I'm sorry. I didn't

mean to upset you. Excuse me.

What the?!

Excuse me?

Yes. So, sorry I - I -

thought you were someone else. The man you saw before?

Do you want to know what's happened to him?

I'm confused.

I'm sorry, what do you mean what's happened tp him?

The strange fella you were talking to before, he's not here anymore. Do you want to see where

he's gone? Well, where is he?

How- how did he change? I'm so

terribly sorry, this is really confusing. Please excuse me.

Take a look. Use your camera.

Something strange is happening here. It is only a

strange occurrence if you don't play along. pPlay along?

I have many names. And I come

in many forms. Today I'm an insurance salesman. That

man you saw - Eh, sorry, what are you talking about?

That man I was with was a client of mine.

He recently signed up for the greatest insurance policy we have to offer.

Insurance policy? This is insane.

Please, take a look -

I-I-I I don't like this. I'm sorry, can you just leave me alone?

Miss?

I thought I was talking to someone else. Who?

The man you mentioned earlier. So he is real.

Who is he? He's the devil.

Excuse me? What? The devil.

He has taken me prisoner. This is just a scam.

You and your friend are trying to get me into -

I don't know how you are doing it, and I really don't care.

This isn't a scam Samantha.

Alright, I've had enough of this - You, who are you?

I'm the Devil. Nonsense. No. Who are you?

My name is Owen. And what are you doing here?

I'm here to convince you to sign up to a lifetime

of success. Success? - Yes, with your photography.

Sign his document, and you will

have a lifetime of pleasure and success.

It's just an insurance policy. So it is a scam.

If you sign the insurance policy, the devil will have

your soul. And I will be able to do

as I wish. I signed it before, but now I want

out of the pact. The only way I can do that is by finding someone else

who will take my place. That's why I'm here.

This is weird. So tell me

before, when we were talking

and I took a photograph. What were you trying to achieve? pNothing.

I just wasn't sure if he was still following me, or if

this was all real. Real? - Yes,

real. I am real Samantha.

I think it is about time you just embrace the opportunity

we are offering you here, and sign the document.

Think about all the fame you will receive from your photos.

Think about the money. And think about most importantly all

those decades you'll have left on earth, all the

things you'll be able to enjoy if you just sign this document.

I promise to make you rich. Wise.

Happy. All in exchange for a soul.

The one thing you can't photograph or hold.

I know you are a materialistic person Samantha

think about all the things you will be able to buy.

This is

just one awful scam. I don't know how you did your little visual tricks.

And I don't care. Whatever. I'm out of here!

I'm sorry Mr.

Please let me try another one. Your time is up. - Come on I just

need to find another person. You've had three chances, its over.

Give it up.

Are you Elizabeth?

I've been wanting to meet you. Well

what does this exactly concern? An opportunity of a lifetime. Please invite me

inside. We can discuss it over tea. I'm sorry, what?

Don't be embarrassed. I can feel the attraction. It is in the air.

I'm a married woman. So we'll be decent

about this. Please let me pitch you policy.

Insurance policy?

Yes. That's what I do. I sell insurance to bored housewives like yourself.

So when you are sat at home, worrying that the toaster might explode, or the fridge

might be leaking gas, or you might kill your husband accidently

because of the fridge, that's when I step in

with a policy that covers all eventualities.

I do not plan on killing my husband.

You might change your mind once you invite me inside. p

And what about an act of god? No, we

do not cover acts of god. And in truth, they are so

rare these days. He's never around

he wouldn't visit London, and he's certainly never been seen in suburbia trying to collect souls.

I'm being serious. God is far too

busy collecting souls in Africa to be here. pYeah, sure.

So how about that cup of tea?

I promise I don't bite.

Unless you want me to. Sure.

Come in. I'll get the kettle on and you know -

Yeah.

Do you want sugar?

or milk? I turn milk sour, something to do with my body temperature.

Oh, that's strange. It is.

And no sugar, thank you. I'm sweet enough.

Oh are you? Yes, sweet as can be

just like my deal and my kiss. Sure, I'll

believe it when I see it. The kiss or the sweet deal?

The deal. Forget about your urge to shove your tongue down my throat.

I have no urges. It's you who's dry mouthed

your the one picturing me naked. No, I'm not.

Your imagining me in your shower, water

dripping down my body. Trust me, I'm not.

Your picturing my buttox glistening under the constant flow.

Your water pressure is quite consistent in this daydream

of yours I might add. You're talking nonsense now.

And you want me to turn around.

You want to see my front, naked.

So here it is, my holy grail of an insurance policy

Aha. So few resist it.

So few say 'no'. But they do?

Sometimes. Think what you will.

Each policy is unique, though somehow they all seem to end with the same clause.

Grant my

soul to keep. What kind of contract

is this? Eh, I must have forgotten to mention

I'm not exactly a human being.

I'm something else.

Yeah, whatever. You should belive me.

In fact, I think you already do

my entering your daydreams, knowing those details

it's not something a human being could do

I was picturing my husband. No, you weren't.

I was picturing my husband. No, you weren't.

Why wouldn't I be thinking of him?

Because you have me in front of you.

See.

What you just did

is a very bad thing. But you don't want it to end, do you?

Do me a favour, sign this -

and I'll do you a favour.

I don't know.

I'll do what you want. I'll exhibit myself.

Think about it.

Imagine it.

Can you see it?

Good, now sign.

Is this how you wanted it to start?

Do it slower.

Sure.

And now you want me to get on the bed

You want me to ask you to ride me

Yes. Say it.

Elizabeth, would you please ride me?

I've changed my mind.

I want a kiss first.

Elizabeth?

What the fuck is this? Why are you home so early?

I told you I was coming home early.

Well, go for a walk or something.

Elizabeth, this has got to stop happening.

Look your wife and I - Shut it.

No one tells me to shut it. I just did.

I'm the devil. Whatever.

Elizabeth we, we had an arrangement, yeah.

I'm sorry Mark, he was so charming he told

me stuff and had me sign his soul for him

it was all really fetishistic. I got turned on.

You need to leave.

I'm not going anywhere. Your wife

has to be satisfied. It's in your contract. PLook, I don't care about yourppathetic

role play. Just get your kit on, and get out.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm the devil. Your the devil? Hmm. What

a joker. See, unfortunately for you I know the devil.

He's a mate of mine. In fact

if you give me a moment I'll give him a call, and then we'll see who the real devil is. pYeah, sure you

go give him a call, and I'll have him begging for redemption in hell within an hour.

We'll see about that.

To summons me,

to enjoy my pleasure, say my name a dozen times.

Diabolus.

Diabolus, Diabolus, Diabolus,

Diabolus, Diabolus ,Diabolus ,Diabolus

Diabolus, Diabolus, Diabolus!

You actually came?

We had a deal, didn't we?

Good. So, this counts as your second wish? Yeah.

And what is it that you wish for?

I wish you to make my wife disappear. And

her lover, I want you to remove him from my mind.

But your wife

didn't you wish for her to marry you last time?

Then why have you changed your mind?

Things haven't been going all so well lately.

Well, I accept your wish and do grant it.

Just remember, you only have the one wish left.

I know.

There, your wife is gone now.

Really? I want to see.

Well.

That was beautifully done.

That was beautifully done.

Quick. Where did you send her?

Ah, she was always going to go to hell your wife, sweet thing

that she was. She did give the whore of Babylon a

run for her money. So I gave her an express ticket

first class ticket to the depths of hell.

Good. She's been giving me hell these last few years.

We had an arranged opened marriage, but she kept bringing kids back

like this. Do you want me to reanimate him?

Sure.

Who the hell are you? Son, don't you know who I am?

No.

Well, your contract with that young woman is now void.

You didn't even let me finish her off. Well, that's none

of my concern. Clearly not. - Well, you still haven't

answered my question. I don't know who you are, and I don't care,

Well you should care,

you fail to realise something. What? You and I are the same.

We're both devils.

And you've been out here playing with my people.

Who are your people? This man, he's mine.

and his wife was one of the things that I granted him, she's one of mine too

they're both signed my contracts.

Look, eh - But if But what?

That's the same scam I've been pulling on humans.

But you haven't been following the rules.

You see devils must work in unity.

And that involves checking the register, before you make a claim to a human

soul. What register?

Have you seen this book before?

No. Well, you would have been issued one when

you were given your certificate for devilish work.

I never really, what?

I don't care. - well, you should care, because the punishment

is something you will hate. What?

I decree mortal.

What the hell just happened? You just became a human being.

Just like that? Well, you haven't been following the law, so it's not really

that complicated. - I'm

I just got smaller.

Fuck. - It hasn't.

It's just proportional now. What the fuck am I going to do?

Get your kit on and get out. No.

Come on man, get your kit, get out... I want my home back.

It's ok Mark. Here -

Take this and kill him.

Wait, that would be messy.

Don't worry I'll clean up after. Why don't you kill him yourself?

I can't. I can't kill.

Sure. I'll do it.

There.

I did as you wished.

Where did all the blood go?

Wake up.

Wake up!

Our

Father in heaven,

I know I haven't spoken to you for a long time, but -

- What the hell just happened? - You just became a human being.

I just got smaller. Fuck.

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