Original subtitles

[ Engine Approaching ]

[ Engine Roaring ]

WAYNE, BE CAREFUL! SLOW DOWN.

[ Revs ]

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT ENGINE? I HATE IT.

WHY, BETTY JEAN, THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NOISE I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

I NEVER WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN. [ Engine Stops ]

NOW, BETTY JEAN, YOU KNOW I'VE WORKED ON THIS CAR.

I'VE BUILT IT FROM THE GROUND UP, PIECE BY PIECE, WITH MY OWN HANDS.

WAYNE FRAKE, I BELIEVE YOU LOVE THAT CAR FIVE TIMES AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME!

NOW, HONEY, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S JUST THAT, WELL, THIS YEAR ALL THAT HARD WORK'S GONNA PAY OFF.

I'M GONNA WIN THAT RACE. FORGET THE RACE.

BETTY JEAN, THIS IS THE GOLD CUP-- THE OFFICIAL GOLD CUP.

WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT AN OFFICIAL WAY TO GET KILLED?

NOW YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC. I'M BEIN' PRACTICAL!

WE'RE GONNA BE MARRIED. OKAY. WHERE'S THE PRACTICAL COME IN?

THE HONEYMOON IS NO FUN IF THE BRIDEGROOM'S DEAD. THAT'S WHERE IT COMES IN.

BETTY JE-- OH, GO ON. GET YOUR OLD CUP!

IT'S NOT THE CUP. IT'S RED HOERTER.

YOU SAW WHAT HE DID TO ME LAST YEAR. I CERTAINLY DID.

I HAD HIM BEAT TILL THE LAST LAP. HE SLIPPED THAT WHEEL UNDER ME AND BUMPED ME OFF THE TRACK.

AND HE'LL DO IT TO YOU AGAIN THIS YEAR. OH, NO, HE WON'T.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE TO WATCH IT HAPPEN.

YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN I COME BACK WITH THAT CUP.

PLEASE, COME BACK ALIVE.

[ Chorus ] ?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE BUM, BUM, BUM ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAI R IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR IN OUR STATE ??

[ Chorus ] ?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR IN OUR STATE ????

[ Engine Roaring ] CUT THAT OUT, WAYNE!

TWENTY-TWO YEARS OF LOVE AND CARE, AND WHAT DO WE RAISE?

A PISTON FARMER.

IF HE KEEPS THAT UP, HE'LL RUIN BLUEBOY'S DIGESTION.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY.

EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SIME? YES, SIR.

BLUEBOY HAS GOT THE ONE THING A CHAMPION HAS GOT TO HAVE.

I KNOW. PRIDE. NO, SIR.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT. WELL, I WAS WRONG.

PRIDE AIN'T ENOUGH. ARROGANCE.

HE'S GONNA GO TO THAT STATE FAIR AND STAND THERE LIKE GENGHIS KHAN...

AND NOT ONLY THINK HE'S GENGHIS KHAN--

HE'S GONNA KNOW HE'S GENGHIS KHAN.

HE'LL WIN THAT PRIZE SO EASY THERE'LL BE A SENATE INVESTIGATION.

WELL, THEY'RE INVESTIGATIN' EVERYTHING ELSE.

- WAYNE! - YEAH, DAD?

TELL YOUR MOTHER TO CALL THE VET AND GIVE HIM WHAT FOR. HE SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE BY NOW.

HEY, MOM. DAD WANTS YOU TO CALL DR.-- I KNOW. I HEARD HIM.

DOC CRAMER WILL BE HERE WHEN HE GETS HERE.

FIX A LABEL FOR THIS JAR, WILL YOU, HONEY? MMM.

UM, YOU WANT YOUR NAME MRS. MELISSA FRAKE OR MRS. ABEL FRAKE?

OH, MELISSA FRAKE, I THINK. ABEL'S ENTERED BLUEBOY,

AND THE JUDGES ARE LIABLE TO GET HIM MIXED UP WITH MY MINCEMEAT.

DAD SURE IS SET ON WINNING THAT RIBBON. RIBBON, MY EYE.

HE WON'T REALLY BE HAPPY UNTIL THAT HOG SHOWS UP INWHO'S WHO.

GOT ENOUGH STRAW IN THERE?

SIX INCHES OF IT, AND IT'S FRESH!

THAT OUGHT TO BE SOFT ENOUGH WITH THIS SPREAD.

PUT IT ON TOP.

ABEL, YOU SURE MIZ FRAKE WON'T MIND? IT'S GOT HER INITIAL ON IT.

SPREAD IT OVER THE STRAW.

ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE THE BOSS. BUT IF I WAS A WOMAN,

I WOULDN'T WANT NO HOG RIDING AROUND ON MY INITIAL.

BETTER GIVE THAT SISTER OF YOURS A NUDGE.

HEY, MARGE!

HEY, CANDY-EYES!

NO ANSWER, MOM. WHERE IS THAT GIRL?

MARGY!

MARGY! YES, MOTHER?

- ARE YOU FINISHED PACKING? - ALMOST.

ALMOST? WHAT'S GOT INTO YOU LATELY?

ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND MOPE. NOW, HURRY.

WHATHASGOT INTO ME ANYWAY?

?? THE THINGS I USED TO LIKE ??

?? I DON'T LIKE ANYMORE ??

?? I WANT A LOT OF OTHER THINGS ??

?? I'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE ??

?? IT'S JUST LIKE MOTHER SAYS ??

?? I SIT AROUND AND MOPE ??

?? PRETENDING I AM WONDERFUL ??

?? AND KNOWING I'M A DOPE ??

?? I'M AS RESTLESS AS A WILLOW ??

?? IN A WINDSTORM ??

?? I'M AS JUMPY AS A PUPPET ??

?? ON A STRING ??

?? I'D SAY THAT I HAD SPRING FEVER ??

?? BUT I KNOW IT ISN'T SPRING ??

? ?? I AM STARRY-EYED AND VAGUELY DISCONTENTED ?

?? LIKE A NIGHTINGALE WITHOUT A SONG TO SING ??

?? OH, WHY SHOULD I HAVE SPRING FEVER ??

?? WHEN IT ISN'T EVEN SPRING ??

?? I KEEP WISHING ??

?? I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE ??

?? WALKING DOWN A STRANGE NEW STREET ??

?? HEARING WORDS ??

? ?? THAT I HAVE NEVER HEARD ?

?? FROM A BOY I'VE YET ??

?? TO MEET ??

?? I'M AS BUSY AS A SPIDER ??

?? SPINNING DAYDREAMS ??

?? I'M AS GIDDY AS A BABY ??

?? ON A SWING ??

?? I HAVEN'T SEEN A CROCUS ??

?? OR A ROSEBUD ??

?? OR A ROBIN ??

?? ON THE WING ??

?? BUT I FEEL SO GAY ??

?? IN A MELANCHOLY WAY ??

?? THAT IT MIGHT AS WELL ??

?? BE SPRING ??

?? IT MIGHT AS ??

?? WELL BE ??

?? SPRING ????

[ Vehicle Approaching ]

[ Honking ]

HEY, MARGY! HEY, MARGY!

HEY, MARGY. I'VE GOT SOME GREAT NEWS, HONEY. WHAT?

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO GO TO THE FAIR.

THERE'S THIS ALMOST-NEW CREAM SEPARATOR I GOT A LEAD ON,

AND I MIGHT GET IT ON A TRIAL OFFER FOR 89.50.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? ALL I CAN THINK OF IS "HOORAY!"

HONEY, I'M DOING IT FOR US.

BE PRACTICAL, MARGY.

TIMES LIKE THESE, A MAN'S GOTTA COUNT PENNIES. UH-HUH.

AND I'VE HEARD THIS YEAR THEY'VE RAISED PRICES ON EVERYTHING AT THE FAIR.

I KNOW. EVEN THE FERRIS WHEEL. THAT'S RIGHT.

WHY, THEY'RE ASKING 25 CENTS FOR A RIDE.

A MAN'S GOTTA BE CRAZY TO SQUANDER MONEY LIKE THAT.

HAVE A LITTLE FUN, AND-- [ Clicks Tongue ] IT'S GONE.

I GUESS THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH FUN.

[ Clicks Tongue ] IT'S GONE. RIGHT.

NOW, YOU TAKE THIS DARN SCOOTER. DID I BUY IT FOR FUN?

NO, MA'AM. I BOUGHT IT BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME 40 MILES TO THE GALLON.

ONLY IT DOESN'T. 38.3-- NOT A SCRAP MORE.

HARRY, LET'S NOT START WALLOWING AROUND IN DECIMAL POINTS AGAIN.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE FAIR, AND THAT'S THAT.

RIGHT. WELL, I BETTER BE GOIN'.

YOU HAVE YOURSELF A HIGH OLD TIME AT THE FAIR, YOU HEAR?

COME ON BACK HOME WITH A BUNDLE OF KISSES FOR OLD HARRY.

I'VE SAVED A SACKFUL ALREADY.

[ Blueboy Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

LIKE IT, BABY? NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU!

WHAT KEPT YOU, MARGE? YOUR FATHER WANTS TO LEAVE BY NOON.

I WAS JUST TALKING TO HARRY.

DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE'S IN LOVE WITH THAT BREAD-HEAD? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

MOM, YOU'RE A GIRL. OH, THANK YOU.

NOW, TELL ME HONESTLY. DO YOU FIND THAT HARRY EXCITING?

I CERTAINLY DO.

I THINK HARRY'S ABOUT AS EXCITING AS WATCHING GRASS GROW.

READY, MELISSA? RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!

WELL?

FLAT. IT'S THE VERY BEST I EVER MADE.

YOU LEFT SOMETHING OUT. I'M NOT GONNA LOAD MY MINCEMEAT WITH BRANDY.

IF YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE SOMETHING OUT, LEAVE OUT THE MINCEMEAT.

IT'S GOT NO BACKBONE.

HONESTLY, MELISSA! CAN'T YOU SLIP IN A LITTLE VERTEBRAE?

I'M NOT GOING TO ADVERTISE THE DRUNKEN PREFERENCES OF THIS FAMILY...

ALL OVER THE STATE OF TEXAS.

SUIT YOURSELF. HUMPH.

HEY. YOU'D BETTER START A FIRE UNDER THAT DAUGHTER OF YOURS IF WE EVER WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

"MY KIDS" WHEN THEY'RE LATE-- "YOUR KIDS" WHEN THEY'RE ON TIME.

I'LL THROW THESE ABOARD AND GET HOOKED UP. YEAH.

THROW THOSE ABOARD AND GET HOOKED UP.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

[ Melissa ] COME ON, MARGE. [ Door Closes ]

[ Thuds ]

HURRY UP, MELISSA.

???? [ Whistling ]

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

???? [ Whistling Continues ]

???? [ Whistling Continues ]

COME ON, MARGE.

LET'S GO, HONEY.

HOWDY, ABEL. HERE'S YOUR HOG PILLS.

WELL, YOU SURE TOOK YOUR TIME GETTIN' HERE, DOC,

CONSIDERING BLUEBOY'S YOUR PRIZE PATIENT.

ABEL FRAKE, WHAT IS THAT HOG DOING ON MY SPECIAL BEDSPREAD?

SAY, THAT'S A SPECIAL HOG.

I DON'T LIKE HOGS.

MAYBE HOGS DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER. BUT YOU DON'T HEAR BLUEBOY--

[ Grunts ] AND, YES, YOU DO HEAR BLUEBOY.

MAYBE BLUEBOY ISN'T PARTICULAR, BUT I AM.

YOU'D BETTER TAKE THIS, MELISSA. ABEL'S GOT AN UNCANNY KNACK...

TO ALWAYS LOSIN' MY BILLS.

TWELVE DOLLARS? FOR THAT BIG SACK OF FAT?

IT'S THOSE NEW MIRACLE DRUGS. TO CALM HIM DOWN IN CASE HE GETS SHOOK UP.

OH, SURE.

A HOG'S PSYCHOLOGY IS IMPORTANT, MELISSA.

NATURALLY. THE WHOLE FAMILY MAY END UP IN RAGS,

BUT WE CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE A TRAUMATIC PIG.

BLUEBOY'S GONNA MAKE YOU FAMOUS, DOC.

PERSONAL PHYSICIAN TO THE GRAND CHAMPION.

DON'T COUNT ON IT, ABEL. A LITTLE TROUBLE'S A GOOD THING TO BANK ON, YOU KNOW?

HONESTLY, DOC. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A WET BLANKET?

EVEN IF BLUEBOY WINS, SOMETHING ELSE'LL PROBABLY HAPPEN.

WHAT, FOR INSTANCE?

HE MIGHT CATCH THE PNEUMONIA, HOG CHOLERA,

OR YOU MIGHT EVEN CATCH THE PNEUMONIA.

YOU LEFT OUT HURRICANES AND FLOODS.

- OR SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN TO WAYNE OR MARGY. - OH, FOR HEAVEN SAKES.

COME ON, BEFORE DOC DECIDES TO PUT AN END TO THE WORLD RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

BE WILLIN' TO BET ON IT. OKAY, DOC.

FIVE DOLLARS SAYS WE GO TO THE FAIR, BLUEBOY WINS...

AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO WAYNE OR MARGY OR ANY OF THE REST OF US.

DEAL? YOU'VE GOT A DEAL, ABEL.

MARK MY WORDS NOW. SOMETHING'LL GO WRONG.

?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR IN OUR STATE ??

???? [ Snorts Rhythmically ]

WAKE UP! WAKE UP, EVERYBODY!

THERE'S DALLAS.

?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT-- ?? NO, NOT "DOLLARS." "DALLAS."

[ Together ] DALLAS? YES, DALLAS.

?? IT'S DALLAS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR STATE ????

I THINK THIS IS THE SAME TRAILER WE HAD LAST YEAR.

I'M SURE IT IS. THE SHOWER STILL LEAKS.

[ Chuckles ] WAYNE, COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

JUST A MINUTE, MOM.

[ Abel ] I BETTER NOT TAKE TIME FOR BREAKFAST. BUT IT'S ALL READY.

I'LL GET SOME COFFEE DOWN AT THE SWINE PAVILION.

HONESTLY. YOU'D RATHER BE WITH THAT HOG THAN EAT.

HEY, HE'S GOT TO BE CURRIED. AND MANICURED AND MOLLYCODDLED.

ALL RIGHT. YOU GO AHEAD. I'LL SEE YOU DOWN THERE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU'RE A VERY NICE WOMAN.

I KNOW, I KNOW. AND NEXT TO BLUEBOY, YOU LOVE ME THE MOST.

HOW CAN YOU TELL? [ Chuckles ] GOOD-BYE NOW.

COME ON, MARGY. LET'S GO, WAYNE. THESE EGGS ARE GETTING COLD.

HAVE TO SKIP IT, MOM. GOT TO GET OVER TO THE TRACK.

WAYNE!

[ Revving ]

THIS IS ALL I WANT. IT ISNOTALL.

NOW, YOU COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

PLEASE, MOM. I'M NOT HUNGRY. I WANT TO GET TO THE FAIR BEFORE IT GETS TOO CROWDED.

YOU CAN'T RUN AROUND ALL DAY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

PLEASE, MOM? ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

BUT BE CAREFUL NOW. I WILL!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

[ Man On P.A. ] HOWDY, FOLKS.

THIS IS BIG TEX.

WE ALL ARE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ALL WITH US.

IT'S THE GREATEST STATE FAIR IN THE WORLD.

???? [ Calliope ] [ Barkers Chattering ]

[ People Shouting, Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

ALL RIGHT NOW. HERE WE GO. FOR A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF SUNBURST SHAMPOO,

SEE IF YOU CAN COMPLETE THE NEXT LINE OF THIS SONG.

?? HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE ??

?? WHERE THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE-- ?? [ Giggles ]

YES, WELL, WHAT DO THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE DO?

OH! THAT'S IT. NOW--

?? WHERE THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE-- ?? SING.

ALMOST, BY GOLLY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND DO COME BACK AGAIN.

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME. WELL, LET US TRY A, UH--

WELL, LET'S TRY THAT OLD COWPOKE RIGHT DOWN HERE. THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU IN THE YELLOW DRESS, YOUNG LADY.

RIGHT THIS WAY, MA'AM.

WELL, WELL. WE HAVE SOMETHING MIGHTY PRETTY HERE.

IN A LITTLE CLOSER, FELLAS. DO YOU MIND IF WE TAKE A CLOSE-UP OF YOU, DEAR?

IT'S PART OF MY PLAN TO BEAUTIFY THE LIVING ROOMS ALL OVER TEXAS.

[ Chuckles ] YES, SIR. I MEAN, THANK YOU, SIR.

OH, CUT OUT THAT SIR BUSINESS. JUST CALL ME JERRY.

JERRY. SURE. GOOD.

SAY, WHERE DO YOU COME FROM? BET YOU'RE HOMEGROWN.

BANNING. BANNING?

I GUESS NOT TOO MANY FOLKS HAVE HEARD OF IT.

WHY, EVERYBODY KNOWS OF BANNING. IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO SOUTH BANNING, ISN'T IT?

[ Chuckles ] UH, WELL, WE'RE A LITTLE SHORT OF TIME.

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN FINISH THE SECOND LINE OF THIS FAMOUS FRENCH SONG.

?? O SOLO MIO ??

[ Laughs ] THAT'S NOT FRENCH. NO. NO, IT'S NOT.

BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE, AND A YOUNG THING LIKE YOU...

SHOULD KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE.

WELL, IT'S TIME TO WRAP IT UP, FOLKS. WE'LL SEE YOU A LITTLE LATER.

TEDDY, TAKE IT OVER FOR A WHILE. SELL SOMETHING, WILL YA? COME RIGHT THIS WAY.

THANKS, JERRY. AND NOW, LADIES, I HAVE A CLUE ABOUT SONGS FOR YOU.

NOW, UH, I'M GONNA NEED YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS. OH?

IT'S FOR A CONSOLATION PRIZE. I HAVE TO HAVE SOMEPLACE TO SEND IT.

YOU MEAN THERE'S A CONSOLATION PRIZE?

WELL, SURE. PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, IT MIGHT BE ME.

MARGY FRAKE.

THAT'S BANNING, TEXAS,

ROUTE 3.

THIRTY-SIX, 24, 36.

I WEAR A SIZE 10 DRESS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

i��AY, CARAMBA!OH, THAT MEANS "GOOD MORNING" DOWN IN MEXICO.

I GUESS IN THIS BUSINESS YOU MUST TRAVEL A GOOD DEAL.

OH, WELL, I DO A LOT OF NETWORK STUFF, YOU KNOW--

PARIS, LONDON-- MAYBE YOU CAUGHT THE WAR I COVERED IN ALGERIA.

WELL, I CERTAINLY READ ABOUT IT.

OH, WELL, READING ABOUT IT IS ONE THING, BUT BEING THERE-- [ Kisses ]C'EST LA VIE.

AFTER WARS AND ALL, A STATE FAIR'S RATHER TAME STUFF.

DON'T GO KNOCKIN' THE HAYSHAKERS. YOUR STATE FAIR'S THE BIGGEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE, UH, SENT ME ALL THE WAY FROM ROME TO COVER IT.

ROME, ITALY? YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.

IS HE MOVIN' IN AGAIN? YEAH.

A LITTLE YOUNG, ISN'T SHE? IF SHE BELIEVES HIM, SHE IS.

WELL, LOOK, I'M DUE TO WRAP UP ABOUT 8:00.

IF YOU'RE STILL AROUND, WE COULD GRAB A BOTTLE, CUT UP A STEAK AND HAVE A FEW LAUGHS.

OH, I REALLY DON'T THINK SO. I'M GONNA BE TERRIBLY BUSY. OH.

I HAVE A DATE. FIGURES. YOU BOOKED SOLID?

BEG YOUR PARDON? I MEAN, WHAT'S PLAYING TOMORROW?

WELL, TOMORROW, MOTHER'S IN MINCEMEAT. OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO BLOW THAT.

WELL, IN CASE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, JUST CHECK THE TUBE.

BIG DADDY'S NEVER TOO FAR AWAY. SEE YA.

ON THE HOME TURN, CAR NUMBER SIX,

DRIVER, WAYNE FRAKE.

[ Revving ]

CAR NUMBER SIX, WAYNE FRAKE, DRIVING A MODIFIED ENGINE WITH A LOCKED REAR END--

TIME, 26:07.

THE THREE FASTEST QUALIFIERS IN THE TIME TRIALS--

ECKHARDT, HOERTER AND FRAKE.

PLEASE COME TO THE JUDGE'S STAND FOR PUBLICITY PICTURES.

ECKHARDT, HOERTER AND FRAKE, REPORT TO THE JUDGE'S STAND.

YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING WHAT YOU FARM BOYS ARE DOING WITH ERECTOR SETS THESE DAYS.

IT'S ENOUGH CAR TO RUN YOU INTO THE GROUND, RED.

LIKE LAST YEAR? YOU TAUGHT ME A LESSON.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AROUND AND LOOK AT THE FRONT END?

YOU'LL SEE ENOUGH OF THE REAR END IN THE FINALS.

HI, MAL.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS. WE CAN'T SELL ANY PAPERS WITH YOUR KISSERS.

ON DECK, HONEY.

HI, FELLAS. [ Together ] HI.

HONEY, OVER HERE. READY, FELLAS?

ALL RIGHT. LET'S ZERO IN.

FINE. NEXT! CONGRATULATIONS.

NOW, LISTEN. REALLY LEAN INTO THIS ONE. OKAY.

DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE A RUNNER-UP. MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A WINNER. OKAY, BOYS?

HEY! OKAY. NEXT.

RIGHT. HERE WE GO. UH, WE GOTTA MIX 'EM UP.

NO KISSIN' THIS TIME. HAND HIM THE FLOWERS.

THESE ARE FOR YOU.

GOOD. FINE. THANKS A LOT, HONEY. BYE-BYE.

LET'S GO, FELLAS.

MISS! YOU MAY AS WELL TAKE THESE BACK. I DON'T NEED 'EM.

I'M SORRY IT HAD TO BE FLOWERS.

OH. [ Chuckles ] WELL, EVEN IF IT HAD BEEN THE OTHER,

I GUESS I'D WANT TO GIVE THAT BACK TOO.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLIMENT.

NO! IT'S JUST THAT, WELL, YOU'RE--

YOU'RE PLAIN OLD APPLE-ORCHARD PRETTY.

NOW, HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A GIRL IN SHORTS BEFORE?

SURE!

BUT YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE I EVER SAW THAT,

WELL, LOOKED SO, UH, SORT OF CUSTOM-BUILT.

[ Laughs ] YOU FARM BOYS KILL ME.

YOU DON'T MAKE A PITCH. YOU JUST SHY YOUR WAY INTO POSITION.

HEY, HOW'D YOU KNOW I CAME FROM A FARM?

DIDN'T YOU MENTION IT? I DON'T THINK SO.

I GUESS YOU WERE NEVER ON A FARM.

CLOSEST I EVER GOT TO ONE WAS MORRISTOWN, NEW JERSEY.

WE HAD A WINDOW BOX IN THE KITCHEN.

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE A FARMER?

NEVER STOPPED TO THINK. GOOD, I GUESS. AT LEAST I'VE NEVER FELT BAD.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING? IF I THOUGHT THAT IT'D WORK FOR ME,

I'D GO OUT RIGHT NOW AND BUY A PLOW.

WHY'D YOU DECIDE TO BE A FARMER?

I DON'T THINK YOU DECIDE.

ONE DAY, YOU'RE A LITTLE BOY OUT FEEDING CHICKENS.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE AN OLD MAN OUT FEEDING CHICKENS.

THAT'S HOW YOU BECOME A FARMER.

WELL, PARTNER, THIS HERE LOOKS LIKE A PARTIN' OF THE WAYS.

UH-- [ Clears Throat ] I WAS JUST THINKING, IF, UH--

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE AROUND THE FAIR HERE FOR A WHILE, MAYBE WE COULD SEE EACH OTHER.

FOR A HAMBURGER OR SOMETHING?

WELL, I WISH YOU'D ASKED A SMART GIRL, BUT SINCE YOU DIDN'T,

I'LL BE AROUND THE OUTDOOR SHOW TONIGHT.

DON'T WORRY. I WON'T, UH, SHY YOU INTO ANYTHING.

THAT'S FOR THE FLOWERS. THINK NOTHING OF IT.

?? RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES ??

?? QUITE A BELT ??

?? THAT BLOW I FELT THIS MORNING ??

? ?? FATE GAVE ME NO WARNING ?

?? GREAT ??

?? WAS MY SURPRISE ??

?? I SAW YOU STANDING IN THE SUN ??

?? AND YOU WERE SOMETHING TO SEE ??

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

?? ?? A LOVELY MORNING, I REMARKED

?? AND YOU WERE QUICK TO AGREE ??

?? YOU WANTED TO WALK AND I NODDED MY HEAD ??

?? AS I BREATHLESSLY SAID ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

?? YOU LEFT ME STANDING HERE ALONE ??

?? THE DAY'S ADVENTURES ARE THROUGH ??

?? THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME BUT THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? AND THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? OH, MY DARLING ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF ??

YEAH! THAT'S FOR ME.

?? ?? A LOVELY MORNING, I REMARKED

?? AND YOU WERE QUICK TO AGREE ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

?? YOU LEFT ME STANDING HERE ALONE ??

?? THE DAY'S ADVENTURES ARE THROUGH ??

?? THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME BUT THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? AND THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? OH, MY DARLING ??

?? THAT'S ??

?? FOR ??

?? YOU ????

[ Grunting ]

HEY! WHERE'S YOUR FATHER?

ABEL, WHAT KEPT YOU? I WAITED LUNCH TILL 3:00.

I'M NOT HUNGRY! GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS BLAMED THING, WILL YOU?

ISN'T MY BLANKET GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM? THIS IS FOR ME.

OH? PLANNING ON SPENDING THE NIGHT HERE?

IF I HAVE TO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. WE CAN HIRE A HOG-SITTER.

DON'T GET SO SMART, MELISSA. THIS IS SERIOUS.

DID YOU GIVE HIM ONE OF DOC'S NEW PILLS?

NOW, I ASK YOU, DOES THAT HOG NEED CALMIN' DOWN?

I DON'T KNOW, DEAR. MAYBE HE'S JUST HOMESICK.

HOW CAN A HOG GET HOMESICK? [ Grunts ]

PEOPLE GET HOMESICK. MAYBE THEY DO TOO.

LOOK AT HIM--

ALL THAT HOG TURNED CHICKEN.

DOC CRAMER MUST'VE HAD A PREMONITION.

HONEY, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

I WISH I KNEW. HONESTLY, I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

I HAVE NAGGED HIM. I'VE BEGGED HIM.

I'VE BRIBED HIM WITH SUGAR AND SORGHUM.

I'VE PROMISED HIM EVERYTHING BUT A TRIP TO HONOLULU.

IT'S JUST PLAIN, UTTERLY HOPELESS.

WELL, AT LEAST HE WON'T GO INTO THAT RING OVERCONFIDENT.

[ Scoffs ] OH, HONEY. I'M SORRY.

DON'T FRET ABOUT IT. LOOK, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN.

THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER, OR HE'LL GET USED TO IT HERE--

SOME LITTLE THING-- AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE'LL BE STRUTTING AROUND...

LIKE ALY KHAN OR WHOEVER IT IS YOU WANT HIM TO BE.

I SURE HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

DO YOU MIND IF I STAY HERE ALONE? NO.

AT LEAST I HAVE ONE CONSOLATION.

IF I WERE AVA GARDNER, YOU'D STILL SPEND THE NIGHT IN THIS HOGPEN.

[ Laughs ] GOD BLESS.

[ Sighs ] ???? [ Calliope ]

[ Panting ]

BLUEBOY, BABY, YOU GOTTA THINK POSITIVE. [ Panting Continues ]

TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

TRY A SOFT SELL AT FIRST. THEN WORK UP.

[ Grunting ]

NO, I AIN'T GONNA DO THAT. [ Grunts ]

NO, I'M NOT! [ Grunting ]

WHAT'LL PEOPLE THINK? WE'LL BOTH LOOK FOOLISH.

[ Grunting ]

ALL RIGHT. MAYBE ONE CHORUS. [ Grunts ]

BUT I AIN'T GONNA DO IT LOUD.

???? [ Continues ] FRIEND,

YOU'RE MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND.

LOYAL, LOVING...

TILL THE END.

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? WARM AND SOFT AFFECTION LIES ??

?? ?? IN YOUR TEENY-WEENY EYES

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? WHEN THE LENGTH'NING SHADOWS FALL ??

?? AND THE DAY IS THROUGH ??

?? YOU WILL ALWAYS HEAR ME CALL ??

?? SOO-EE ??

?? SOO-EE ??

?? OTHER FRIENDS MAY DRIFT AWAY ??

?? TELL ME THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY ??

] -?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ?? -???? [ Grunts Rhythmically

? ?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ???

[ Grunting ]

NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING.

YOU MISERABLE LUMP OF LARD!

[ Grunting ]

ABEL FRAKE!

WELL, IF IT AIN'T GEORGE HOFFER.

WELL, IF IT AIN'T, HIS CLOTHES SURE FIT ME. HOW ARE YOU, ABEL?

MAN, I'D HAVE TO FEEL BETTER TO DIE. [ Laughs ]

SAY, THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKING SOW YOU GOT THERE, GEORGE.

AIN'T SHE JUST THE BEST-LOOKING FAT LADY YOU EVER SAW?

I NEVER COULD BREED A GOOD REAR END UNTIL THIS YEAR.

ZSA ZSA, SAY HELLO TO MR. FRAKE.

SHE'S A BEAUTY, GEORGE.

WHAT'S YOU FOLKS GOT WORKING?

I GOT A PRIME HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

BUT THE WAY HE'S ACTIN', I'LL HAVE TO ENTER HIM AS A GARTER SNAKE.

SAY, I GOTTA MEET THE OLD LADY OVER IN RABBITS. I'VE GOTTA GET SOME LUNCH.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, ABEL. GOOD LUCK TO YOU, GEORGE.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Snorts ]

[ Blueboy Snuffling ]

SOO-EE!

SOO-EE!

OTHER FRIENDS MAY DRIFT AWAY.

[ Snuffling ]

TELL ME THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY.

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ?? ???? [ Blueboy Grunts ]

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ???? ???? [ Grunting ]

THE DISHES ARE ALL STACKED, MOTHER. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I GO NOW?

I NEVER SAW SO MUCH FUSS AND FEATHERS JUST TO WALK AROUND THE MIDWAY.

THE MIDWAY'S VERY DRESSY THIS YEAR.

???? [ Humming ] WAYNE!

I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR SISTER OUT TONIGHT AND SHOW HER SOME FUN.

TONIGHT? MA, I-I CAN'T TONIGHT.

I-- I'VE GOT A TRICKY CARBURETOR. HE'S RIGHT.

A TRICKY CARBURETOR'S ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN HAVE. THAT'S RIGHT!

BESIDES, THERE'S THIS GIRL. I MET HER AT BUTTER SCULPTURE.

SHE'S VERY SHY, AND I TOLD HER I'D WALK AROUND THE MIDWAY WITH HER.

IT'S SORT OF MY DUTY.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

BUT BE SURE YOU'RE HOME AT A DECENT HOUR.

OH, THAT'S WHY I'M STARTIN' SO EARLY.

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

?? ?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF

? ?? THAT'S FOR ME ???

[ Exhales ]

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED? BLUEBOY KICK YOU OUT?

YOU'RE SUCH A SMART ALECK, I SHOULDN'T EVEN TELL YA.

[ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ]

GENGHIS KHAN RIDES AGAIN. HE'S A CINCH.

WELL, I'M GLAD SOMEBODY'S GONNA WIN.

MY MINCEMEAT WON'T.

CLASS DOUBLE "A."

IT'S MY FAULT FOR GETTING TWO FIRSTS IN PICKLES LAST YEAR.

WINNING IN SWEETS WAS ALL RIGHT, BUT REPEATING IN DILLS WAS JUST PLAIN GAUDY.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH DOUBLE "A"?

OH, ABEL. IT PUTS ME UP AGAINST BELCO AND FREMONT--

NOT JUST HOUSEWIVES, BUT BIG CANNERIES.

HONEY, THE ONLY THING THOSE BIG COMPANIES HAVE...

IS A BUNCH OF NICE LABELS.

YOU'VE GOT THE KITCHEN.

TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT A JUDGE. ???? [ Whistling ]

WHAT'S HE SO HAPPY ABOUT?

OH, HE'S GOING OUT TO FIX A TRICKY CARBURETOR. HUH.

I'LL GET YOU SOME DINNER.

[ People Screaming ]

[ Big Tex ] HURRY! HURRY!

IT'S THE BIGGEST, THE BRIGHTEST...

AND THE BEST STATE FAIR ON EARTH.

YOU'LL LOVE EVERY MINUTE,

AND YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

AND HERE IS BART EMERSON, THE PRIDE OF DEAF SMITH COUNTY,

WHO IS GOING TO TRY TO BREAK THE OLD HEAVYWEIGHT RECORD WITH A MILITARY PRESS.

NOW, UH, HE'S GOT TO PRESS BETTER THAN 260...

IN ORDER TO BETTER LEO CENTER'S OLD MARK.

BART IS JUST ABOUT READY AND, UH, IS WALKING UP TO THE WEIGHTS.

BENDS DOWN, PICKS UP-- UP TO THE SHOULDER.

LOOKS LIKE-- LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

AND HE'S MADE IT! THAT'S GREAT.

CONGRATULATIONS, BART.

THAT'S ABOUT ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR NOW, BUT WE'LL BE BACK AGAIN TWICE TOMORROW.

IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A WORD FROM SPIKE, THE AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT GIVES YOU A LIFT.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU, JERRY.

WELL, MEN, MAYBE YOU CAN'T LIFT 265 POUNDS,

BUT I KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'LL GIVE YOU A REAL LIFT-- SPIKE AFTERSHAVE LOTION.

YOU SEE, FELLOWS, IT'S SPECIALLY MADE...

TO GIVE YOU THAT "I CAN DO ANYTHING" FEELING.

SO WHY DON'T YOU THROW AWAY THOSE WEAK, PUNY LOTIONS YOU'VE BEEN USING AND GET YOURSELF--

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, AND THEN WE'LL GRAB THAT BEER. ALL RIGHT? GREAT!

HEY, GUYS. I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, PUNCH UP CAMERA TWO, WILL YA?

THANKS, PAPPY.

AND OF COURSE WE'RE BACK TWICE TOMORROW.

SO WE'LL SEE YOU THEN ON KTVT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND GOOD NIGHT.

HEY! HOW ABOUT THAT BEER?

NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF. THANK YOU.

[ Barkers Chattering ]

[ Balloons Popping ]

HEY! HEY! [ Muttering ]

GET BACK IN LINE!

[ Girls Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

NOW THAT WE'RE INTRODUCED, HOW ABOUT SNAPPING UP SOME GROCERIES WITH ME?

I'VE ALREADY HAD SUPPER. ALL RIGHT. A DRINK.

I KNOW A PLACE YOU'LL JUST LOVE. IN FACT, THEY SERVE THE BEST OLIVES IN TOWN.

???? [ Jazz ] GOOD EVENING.

I-- I LIKE THE WAY YOUR HAIR BOUNCES WHEN YOU WALK.

EVERYBODY'S HAIR BOUNCES WHEN THEY WALK. WELL, MINE DOESN'T.

WHAT'LL IT BE, SIR?

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR VODKA?

VODKA? AH, BIG DADDY'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

UH, VODKA AND TONIC-- DOS, POR FAVOR.

CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE OR I.D. CARD, MA'AM?

UM-- [ Sputters ]

UH, I DON'T THINK I HAVE IT WITH ME,

BUT I'M SURE THAT-- FORGET IT. JUST BRING THE LADY A LEMON SQUIRT...

AND MAKE MY VODKA A DOUBLE.

THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY. OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FILE A BRIEF ON IT.

SAY, YOU LOOK WORRIED ABOUT SOMETHING.

OH, NO. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT, WELL, HOW DIFFERENT YOU ARE...

FROM A MAN THAT--

FROM ALL THE MEN BACK HOME.

THE WAY YOU TALK-- WELL, HOW DO I TALK?

OH, HOW YOU SAY, "THEY SERVE THE BEST OLIVES IN TOWN," INSTEAD OF "MARTINIS."

NOBODY BACK HOME WOULD EVER THINK OF THAT.

OH, I GUESS THAT COMES FROM TRAVELING.

I DON'T MEAN DALLAS. I MEAN THE REAL PLACES OUT IN THE WORLD,

LIKE, UH, COPENHAGEN AND VIENNA AND PARIS...

AND RIO-- PARIS-- [ Clicks Tongue ]

I GOTTA TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE STRIPPER I MET IN PARIS ONE TIME.

NOW, YOU KNOW THE PLACE PIGALLE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

WELL, THERE'S A STRIPPER THERE-- CUTE, BUT STRICTLY FOR THE FLYPAPER.

ANYHOW, SHE GIVES ME THE OFFICE WHILE SHE'S WORKING.

SHE'S WEARING THIS CELLOPHANE SKIRT,

AND SHE COMES OVER TO MY TABLE, SITS HERSELF DOWN, AND WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE DOES?

GIVES ME A PAIR OF PINKING SHEARS. [ Laughs ]

SO HELP ME! YES.

GRACIAS. THANK YOU.

HERE. IT SAVES A LOT OF ARGUMENTS.

NOW, YOU GET WET, AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT A GEISHA PARTY I WAS TO ONE TIME.

THERE WAS THIS GIRL-- SHE BACKED INTO AN ELECTRIC FAN, GOT HER SASH CAUGHT IN IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? [ Snaps Fingers ] SUKIYAKI!

[ Chuckling ] [ Laughs ]

???? [ Overture ]

???? [ Orchestra Continues ]

???? [ Waltz ]

???? [ Swing, Soft-shoe Tempo ]

???? [ Continues ]

?? MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS ??

? ?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN TO LOOK IN EACH OTHER'S EYES ?

?? SWAPPING ROMANTIC GLEAMS ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL TO HAVE AND TO HOLD ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WOULD STAY ??

?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN CAROUSING AROUND THE TOWN ??

? ?? DANCING THE NIGHTS AWAY ?

?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN HOLDING HANDS ??

?? ACCORDING TO A SWEET AND CORNY CUSTOM ??

[ Noisemakers Squeak ] ?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN MAKING VOWS ??

?? ADMITTING THAT WE BOT H INTEND TO BUST 'EM ??

?? MAYBE WE'RE OUT FOR LAUGH S A GIRL AND A BOY ??

?? KIDDING ACROSS A TABLE FOR TWO ??

?? BUT HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HUNCH THAT THIS HE REAL McCOY ??

[ Together ] ?? AND ALL THE THING S WE TELL ??

?? EACH OTHER ?? [ No Audible Dialogue ]

?? ARE ??

?? TRUE ??

???? [ Faster ]

?? I'M NOT A GIRL FOR SENTIMENTAL TRIPE ??

?? I NEVER GO FOR THE ROMEO TYPE ??

?? I'M NOT A DEWY-EYED JULIET ??

?? ?? NO ONE HAS SEEN ME DROOL YET

?? I DON'T SAY OUR HEARTS ARE TIED ??

?? BY LOVE'S ETERNAL TETHER ??

?? BUT USING WORDS LESS DIGNIFIED ??

???? [ Rock And Roll, Slow ] ?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN TO BE TOGETHER ??

?? WELL, MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE ??

?? THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS ??

?? ?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN

?? ?? TO LOOK IN EACH OTHER'S EYES

?? ?? SWAPPING ROMANTIC GLEAMS

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL ??

?? TO HAVE AND TO HOLD ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WOULD STAY ??

?? ?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN

?? CAROUSING AROUND THE TOWN ??

?? DANCING THE NIGHTS AWAY ?? ???? [ Cha-cha ]

???? [ Cha-cha Continues ]

???? [ Faster Latin ]

???? [ Rock And Roll, Slow ]

?? WELL, MAYBE WE'RE OUT FOR LAUGHS ??

?? A GIRL AND A BOY ??

?? KIDDING ACROSS A TABLE FOR TWO ??

?? BUT HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HUNCH THAT THIS IS THE REAL McCOY ??

?? THAT ALL OF THE THINGS WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? AND ALL THE THINGS WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? AND ALL THE THINGS WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? ARE ??

?? ARE ??

???? [ Latin, Faster ] ?? TRUE ????

MAY I ASK FOR YOUR TICKET, PLEASE?

???? [ Stops ]

???? [ Ends ]

HI, EMILY. BOY, OH, BOY.

WHEN YOU WALKED OUT ON THAT STAGE, I WAS THE MOST SURPRISED MAN SINCE MOSES HAD THE MUMPS.

WELL, I WISH THE CRITICS FELT THAT WAY. WHAT'LL WE DO?

TELL YOU WHAT, WE COULD, UH-- WE COULD TAKE A LOOK AROUND THE FAIR.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE, DARLING-- REAL FAR-OUT STUFF. [ Laughs ]

[ Man Announcing ] THERE THEY GO. A TUG-OF-WAR...

BETWEEN A TRACTOR AND THESE FINELY MATCHED PERCHERONS.

[ Crowd Shouting ]

LOOKS LIKE THESE PROUD HORSES ARE NO MATCH FOR A WELL-MADE CARBURETOR.

IT MUST MAKE THEM SAD, IF HORSES EVER GET SAD-- BEATEN BY A TRACTOR.

NOT ANOTHER HORSE. A MACHINE. THEY'RE NO WORSE OFF THAN WE ARE.

OVER AT THE COMMERCE EXHIBIT THEY'VE GOT I.B.M. MACHINES THAT ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

IF THEY KEEP THAT UP, IN A COUPLE OF YEARS THEY CAN DO AWAY WITH ALL OF US.

THEY CAN RUN A WHOLE STATE FAIR WITH JUST A FEW MACHINES...

AND A CAN OF AXLE GREASE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST MINT-FLAVORED GIRL I'VE EVER KISSED.

OR MAYBE IT'S WINTERGREEN. I'M NOT SURE.

IT'S A NEW PERFUME CALLED "CATASTROPHE." [ Laughs ]

NO, I DIDN'T MEAN THE PERFUME. I MEANT, UH, EVERYTHING.

YOU SEE, IT'S WHAT YOU SEEM LIKE-- LIKE A PATCH OF MINT OUT BY THE BACK PORCH.

BACK PORCH? I THOUGHT YOU ONLY WENT TO EXCITING PLACES.

OKAY, HOW 'BOUT A-- A PATCH OF MINT BY THE CASBAH?

I KNOW. I KNOW. YOUR MOTHER'S IN MINCEMEAT, AND IT'S GETTIN' LATE.

PLEASE, IT'S-- IT'S NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR TO WHO?

ANY OF US. YOU GOT A BOY BACK HOME?

NOT EXACTLY.

HARRY'S-- WE'VE BEEN GOING TOGETHER A LONG TIME.

- YOU, UH, GONNA GET MARRIED? - I GUESS SO.

EVERYBODY ELSE IN BANNING DOES.

SURE SOUNDS LIKE A SWINGIN' TOWN.

COME ON.

WHAT'S HE LIKE?

WELL, HARRY'S NICE, ONLY-- I HOPE YOU WON'T MISUNDERSTAND,

BUT... EVERY TIME IT RAINS, HARRY ALWAYS SAYS, "IT'S FINE WEATHER FOR DUCKS."

HARRY'S FUNNY TOO, ISN'T HE? [ Laughs ]

COME ON, BABY.

REMEMBER THOSE I.B.M. MACHINES. LET'S GET AT IT BEFORE PEOPLE GO OUT OF STYLE.

MMM.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Hooting, Screaming ]

HERE YOU ARE.

SMILE.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

OH, IT'S BLURRED. THEY'RE ALWAYS BLURRED.

HEY. HI, RED.

SHOULDN'T YOU BE RESTIN' UP?

I'LL BE IN SHAPE. DON'T WORRY. YOU SURE?

A LITTLE WHILE WITH HER, YOU WON'T WANT TO CLIMB IN A RACER. YOU'LL NEED AN IRON LUNG.

THAT JUST HAPPENS TO BE THE WRONG WAY TO TALK ABOUT A LADY.

SHE DOESN'T MIND. WHY SHOULD YOU?

I SUGGEST YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.

YOU'D BETTER RUN ALONG. COME ON, WAYNE. LET'S GO.

NOW, WAIT A SECOND. I WANT AN APOLOGY, OR I'M GONNA POWDER THIS GUY.

PACK UP, SON. PUT UP OR SHUT UP, RED.

YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND HOME AND PUT HIM TO BED.

COME ON, WAYNE. BACK UP, EMILY.

BABY! BABY!

WHAT'D HE DO? QUIT? YES, DARLING.

GUESS I FORGOT TO DUCK.

I'D HAVE NAILED HIM WITH MY ONE-TWO PUNCH-- [ Chuckles ]

IF HE'D JUST WAITED A WHILE.

OOH, MY SHOULDER. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'LL GET SOME LINIMENT AT MY APARTMENT.

HOW'S BUTTER SCULPTURE?

UH, OH, JUST FINE.

SHOWS YOU HOW SILLY I AM. I'D HAVE SWORN IT WAS A BOYFRIEND.

HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS A BOY?

HONEY, WHERE YOU'RE GOING WE'VE ALREADY BEEN.

HOW SERIOUS IS IT?

OH, MOTHER, IT'S SO CONFUSING.

HE KEPT TRYIN' TO KISS ME, ONLY I WOULDN'T LET HIM... EXACTLY.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE-- GUTS.

EVERY 10 FEET, HE WANTED TO STOP AND KISS. [ Shoe Hits Floor ]

RIGHT THEN, I KNEW I HAD TO MAKE A DECISION. OH, ABSOLUTELY.

SO I DECIDED NOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. I SAID NO--

PLAIN, FLAT "NO."

JUST LIKE THAT. EXACTLY.

I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET, BUT THAT'S EXACTLY THE WAY I SAID IT TO MYSELF.

[ Sighs ] I'M RIGHT,

DON'T YOU THINK?

I'M NOT SO SURE.

?? WHEN I WAS JUST ABOUT YOUR AGE MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME LOTS ??

?? SHE SHOWED ME HOW TO CLEAN A FLOOR AND HOW TO SCOUR POTS ??

?? SHE TAUGHT ME ONE THING MORE ??

?? A WORD THAT MEN ABHOR ??

?? NEVER SAY NO TO A MAN ??

?? SIMPLY AVOID SAYING YES TO HIM ??

?? THAT LEAVES THE ULTIMATE GUESS TO HIM ??

?? DARLING, DON'T EVER SAY NO ??

? ?? MEN FIND THE NEGATIVE ROUGH ?

?? GIVE AN AFFIRMATIVE GRIN TO HIM ??

?? YOU NEEDN'T REALLY GIVE IN TO HIM ??

?? DON'T USE THE POSITIVE NO ??

?? NO IS A MEAN MONOSYLLABLE FIT FOR A HORSE ??

?? A DOG OR A COW OR A CALF ??

?? A NOD AND A SMILE ??

?? WOULD CUT THE DIVORCE STATISTICS BY JUST ABOUT HALF ??

[ No Audio ] ?? MAYBE, PERHAPS IF I CAN ??

?? THESE ARE SOME WORDS THAT WILL DO AS WELL ??

?? DARLING, HE'S SURE TO LOVE YOU AS WELL ??

?? NEVER SAY NO TO A MAN ????

MMM.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, EMILY?

YOUR HANDS ARE AS SOFT AS THE BOTTOM OF A BABY DUCK.

REALLY? YOU GO AROUND FEELING DUCK BOTTOMS MUCH? [ Laughs ]

THIS SURE IS SWELL OF YOU, EMILY.

BUT I WISH WE COULD HAVE WALKED AROUND THE MIDWAY MORE,

YOU KNOW, SEEING THE FAIR TOGETHER.

DARLING, IF ANYBODY EVER ASKS YOU, "DID YOUR DEAR FRIEND EMILY EVER SEE A STATE FAIR?"

YOU TELL 'EM, "MY DEAR FRIEND EMILY SURE HAS SEEN A LOT OF STATE FAIRS."

I'M SORRY, EMILY. DON'T BE. WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF LINIMENT ANYWAY.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL WONDERFUL. I-I THINK IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL, EMILY.

YOU'RE THE MOST EXCITING GIRL I'VE EVER KNOWN.

I MEAN IT. THERE WAS NEVER ANYBODY IN BANNING LIKE YOU.

DARLING, ARE YOU SURE THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOU TO BE?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.

IN THIS ROOM? NO.

THE NUMBER'S DIFFERENT, BUT I'VE BEEN HERE.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE--

UH, YOU'RE A-A BAD GIRL?

NO. BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO RUN A GALLUP POLL ON IT.

THE POINT IS, YOU BETTER KNOW THE RULES. RULES?

SHOW BUSINESS-- ALWAYS LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING. NOTHING SERIOUS.

IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT THINGS. HONEY, THAT'S NOT WHATIWANT.

WE'VE GOT A VERY STRONG UNION, DARLING, AND THEY FINE US IF IT GETS SERIOUS, DIG?

I UNDERSTAND, EMILY. I HOPE SO.

NOW, THIS TIME DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT TO DUCK.

?? NIGHTTIME WAS MORNING ??

?? AND MORNING WAS NOON ??

?? NOW THAT YOU'VE TOUCHED ME ??

?? THERE'S NO TIME TOO SOON ??

?? WILLING AND EAGER ??

?? AS YOU ARE FOR ME ??

?? HUNGRY AND THIRSTY ??

?? AND NEAR AS CAN BE ??

? ?? ANXIOUS AND REACHING ?

?? AND GLAD TO BE FOUND ??

?? HERE I AM ??

? ?? LOOK AROUND ?

?? WILLING AND EAGER ??

?? AND HAPPY ??

?? TO BE ??

?? HALF ??

?? OF YOU ??

?? AND ME ??

OH, PLEASE, DARLING. LET'S COUNT TO 10...

OR FIVE AT LEAST.

?? WILLING AND EAGER ??

?? AS YOU ARE FOR ME ??

?? HUNGRY AND THIRSTY ??

?? AND NEAR AS CAN BE ??

?? ANXIOUS AND REACHING ??

?? AND GLAD TO BE FOUND ??

?? HERE I AM ??

?? LOOK AROUND ??

[ Together ] ?? WILLING AND EAGER ??

?? AND HAPPY ??

?? TO BE ??

?? HALF OF YOU ??

?? AND ME ????

[ Big Tex ] IT'S FUN.

DON'T MISS THE GREATEST STATE FAIR OF ALL.

[ Crowd Chattering ]

WELL, HERE WE GO. MILES AND MILES OF JAMS AND JELLIES, CAKES AND PIES AND PICKLES...

AND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO WOO THE INNER MAN, AND ALL IN OPEN COMPETITION.

YES, SIR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THESE ARE THE OLYMPIC GAMES, POT AND PAN DIVISION.

RIGHT NOW, THE JUDGES ARE WINDING UP IN PICKLES.

STAY TUNED FOR, UH, MINCEMEAT, COMIN' UP NEXT.

OH, I'M SO NERVOUS. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL ENTER ANYTHING.

IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT. YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR.

LOOK, MOM, THE BELCO PEOPLE.

HOW'S IT LOOK, SAM? PRETTY GOOD. WE JUST SCORED A CLEAN SWEEP IN OLIVES.

I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR, MOTHER. THOSE BIG COMPANIES HAVE ALL THE ADVANTAGE.

AND BEFORE WE GET TO MINCEMEAT, HERE'S A WORD ABOUT SUNBURST SHAMPOO. CARL, IT'S ALL YOURS.

THANK YOU, JERRY. HEY, MR. BURDICK, WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT?

LITTLE SWITCH IN PLANS. IS ANYTHING WRONG?

OH, NO. YOU'RE DOIN' A FINE JOB.

IN FACT, WE WANT YOU TO COVER THE AUTO RACES. AUTO RACES?

YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT. WE'RE FEEDING YOUR COVERAGE CLOSED-CIRCUIT TO CHICAGO.

YOU'RE KIDDIN'? NOW, JUST DO A GOOD JOB, SON.

I'VE GOT CONFIDENCE IN YOU-- ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU'VE GOT IN YOURSELF.

OH, DEAR. THERE'S THAT MR. HIPPLEWAITE FROM LAST YEAR'S PICKLES.

- HE'S BEGINNING TOBEA PICKLE. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?

WE ARE NOW READY FOR THE FINALS IN MINCEMEAT.

[ Spritzing ]

ANY CHANCE OF MY DUCKIN' SQUASH NEXT YEAR?

THERE SHOULD BE AN OPENIN' FOR YOU IN JELLIES.

[ Spritzes ] WILSON JUST DOESN'T HAVE THE BUDS FOR IT ANYMORE.

[ Chattering Fades ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ No Audible Gulping ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T KNOW.

THAT LITTLE GUY LOOKS LIKE HE GOT SOME KINDA NERVOUS TIC.

[ Crowd Chattering Softly ]

MMM? [ Chattering Continues ]

[ Murmuring ]

[ Murmuring Continues ]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NOW FOR THE MINCEMEAT RESULTS.

PARDON ME, JUST A MOMENT. WHAT ABOUT THE PLAQUE?

[ Murmurs ] BY ALL MEANS.

- YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. - [ Chattering Continues ]

SILENCE. QUIET!

[ Chattering Fades ] AS YOU KNOW, WE OCCASIONALLY GIVE A PLAQUE...

FOR DISTINGUISHED ACHIEVEMENT. [ Applauding ]

[ Applause Fades ] THIS PLAQUE IS GIVEN IN CERTAIN "CARE CASES"--

"RARE RACES."

IT WAS "UMANISLY"-- "UNANISLY-MUH-LY"...

VOTED AT THIS YEAR'S FAIR...

TO THE TANGIEST MINCEMEAT THE JUDGES HAVE EVER TASTED.

THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S FIRST PRIZE AND THE SPECIAL PLAQUE...

IS MRS. MELISSA "FRAN" OF "BAKING"--

MAKING-- BRANNING-- BRINK-- MRS.-- THIS LADY HERE.

[ Applause ] [ Sighs ]

I THINK I'M GONNA CRY. I HONESTLY DO.

CONGRATULATIONS, MRS. FRAKE, AND A GREAT BIG HANDSHAKE...

FROM THE MAKERS OF SUNBURST SHAMPOO. OH, THANK YOU.

MAY I HAVE THE PLAQUE? THANK YOU. HERE YOU GO.

NOW, COULD YOU TELL US A WORD OR TWO ABOUT YOUR RECIPE? OH, IT WAS MY GRANDMOTHER'S.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY WAS HER SECRET? SHE BELIEVED IN PLENTY OF LEMON.

PLENTY OF LEMON. WONDERFUL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. FRAKE. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

AND NOW WE'LL GET A RUNDOWN FROM OUR JUDGES. MR. HIPPLEWAITE, JUST A WORD, PLEASE.

I'D BE HAPPY TO, YOUNG MAN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- [ Burps ] YES. THANK YOU, MR. HIPPLEWAITE.

IF YOU'LL FOLLOW US THIS WAY, WE HAVE A WONDERFUL SELECTION OF DRIED FIG NEWTONS--

[ Big Tex ] YOU WILL LOVE EVERY MINUTE.

I NEVER KNEW WHAT A STRAIN IT WAS TO FINALLY GET SOMETHING YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

HOW ABOUT AN ICE-CREAM SODA TO CELEBRATE? I DON'T THINK SO, DEAR.

I'M WORN OUT. I'M GOING BACK TO THE TRAILER AND LIE DOWN. YOU RUN ALONG AND HAVE FUN.

ALL RIGHT, MOTHER. SEE YOU AT 7:00. OKAY, DARLING.

GET A GOOD REST. I WILL.

- JERRY. - I'VE JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR A MIDDLE COMMERCIAL.

HOW ARE YA? I GOTTA GO IN A MINUTE, 'CAUSE I'M DUE BACK IN LIVESTOCK.

ABOUT TONIGHT, THIS TRAILER OR WHATEVER IT IS--

ARE YOUR FOLKS GONNA BE HOME? YES. WHY?

WELL, NOTHIN'. I JUST THOUGHT I MIGHT FIND A QUIET PLACE AND SQUEEZE IN A LITTLE CHESS.

DADDY DOESN'T LIKE CHESS. HE'D RATHER I PLAYED OUTDOOR GAMES.

UH-HUH. WELL, UH, ANYTHING FOR DADDY.

I'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00.

???? [ Piano: Soft-shoe ]

[ Whistle Blows ]

???? [ Piano Stops ] ALL IDS. TAKE 10.

[ Chattering ]

WHO'S THE COMPETITION? A FARMER, AND I QUOTE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO AN ENCORE? HE IS. I DID THE APPLAUDING.

HE'S A NICE GUY, JIM-- A VERY NICE GUY.

[ Engine Stops ]

TOOK ME ALL MORNING. THE "Y" IS A LITTLE COCKEYED, BUT I WANTED TO DO IT MYSELF.

DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE TO TOUCH IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL, DARLING.

I GOT THE IDEA FROMDAWN PATROL. IT WAS ON TV, AND THE PILOT PUT THE NAME ON THE COWLING.

JUST BEFORE THEY WERE SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES. [ Both Laugh ]

DON'T YOU WORRY. WITH THAT LITTLE OLD NAME THERE, I'M BOUND TO COME OUT FINE.

I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE TRACK. SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW. WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN OUR GROUND RULES? THIS IS JUST A SPLIT WEEK IN DALLAS. NO OPTIONS.

SURE, SURE. IT'S NOTHIN' SERIOUS.

WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE "EMILY," DON'T WE?

YES, SUPPOSE WE DO HAVE TO CELEBRATE "EMEngine Idlin g, Revs ]

[ Tires Squeal ]

ISN'T IT TIME FOR YOU TO BE GOING TO BED?

I THOUGHT I MIGHT WAIT UP FOR THE KIDS.

THINKING OF THAT OLD SLAB OF BACON, AREN'T YOU? HMM. I SUPPOSE SO.

MOST PEOPLE WANT ONE THING OR ANOTHER-- EVEN IF IT'S FOOLISH--

AND THIS IS THE TIME FOR ME.

OH, THERE'LL BE OTHER FAIRS,

BUT I'LL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER BLUEBOY.

IT'S AS IF THE LORD SAID, "THIS IS IT, ABEL.

YOU'VE GOT BLUEBOY AT HIS PEAK."

AND DARNED IF I DON'T THINK SO, MELISSA.

IT ONLY HAPPENS ONCE TO A PERSON. LIKE LINDBERGH.

HE HAD ONLY ONE CHANCE THAT NIGHT HE TOOK OFF.

THAT WAS THE TIME, RIGHT THEN,

THAT EXACT VERY HOUR.

I'M SURE GLAD HE DIDN'T TRY TO GET BLUEBOY OFF THE GROUND. HMM.

AH, YOU WAIT AND SEE. IT'S GONNA BE THAT WAY HERE.

IT'S THIS FAIR. NO OTHER FAIR. THIS ONE.

NOW OR NEVER.

YOU BETTER GO TO BED, HONEY. I'LL STAY A SPELL FOR MARGY.

SHE SEEMS SO AT LOOSE ENDS. I HOPE SHE FINDS SOME WAY TO AMUSE HERSELF.

GOOD NIGHT, DARLIN'. GOOD NIGHT.

???? [ Waltz ] [ Chorus ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING ??

[ Man ] ?? THE MOON IS FLYIN' HIGH ??

?? AND SOMEWHERE A BIRD WHO IS BOUND HE'LL BE HEARD ??

?? IS THROWING HIS HEART AT THE SKY ??

[ Jerry ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING ??

?? THE STARS ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

[ Together ] ?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

?? ?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING, FALLING IN LOVE ?? ?? FALLING, FALLING ??

[ Together ] ?? MAYBE IT'S MORE THAN THE MOON ??

[ Jerry ] ?? MAYBE IT'S MORE THAN THE BIRDS ??

?? MAYBE IT'S MORE THAN THE SIGHT OF THE NIGHT ??

?? IN A LIGHT TOO LOVELY FOR WORDS ??

?? MAYBE IT'S MORE THAN THE EARTH ??

?? SHINY AND SILVERY BLUE ??

?? MAYBE THE REASON I'M FEELIN' THIS WAY ??

?? ?? HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU

[ Together ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING ??

?? THE MOON IS FLYING HIGH ??

?? AND SOMEWHERE A BIRD WHO IS BOUND HE'LL BE HEARD ??

?? IS THROWING HIS HEART AT THE SKY ??

?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING ??

?? THE STARS ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

?? ?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING, FALLING ??

?? IN LOVE ????

???? [ Both Scatting ]

?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT-- ??

?? MMM ???? EMILY. EMILY.

WAIT, EMILY. REALLY. WAIT. [ Giggling ]

LOOK, I'VE BEEN WAITIN' ALL NIGHT FOR THIS.

TURN AROUND. WHAT?

TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

OKAY.

[ Quietly ] OH.

OH, WAYNE. DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

IT'S ALMOST A CARAT. THE JEWELER SAID... YOU COULD, UH--

YOU COULD SAY IT'S A CARAT AND, UH, NOBODY WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

[ Sighs ] WAYNE.

DEAR, CRAZY--

WAIT TILL YOU MEET THE FOLKS. EMILY, YOU'LL LOVE 'EM.

AND BANNING-- YOU'LL LIKE BANNING.

LISTEN, THERE'S THE-- THERE'S THE WEDNESDAY BRIDGE CLUB, THE WOMEN'S CLUB.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR SINGING. MOTHER PLAYS THE PIANO. [ Laughing ] OH.

OH, EMILY, YOU'RE THE MOST EXCITING GIRL I'VE EVER KNOWN.

[ Giggling ]

THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

DON'T YOU SPOIL IT WITH A LOT OF WORDS.

I DIDN'T SAY A THING, DARLING.

[ Sobs ]

[ Sighs ] OH.

WHEN THE FAIR'S OVER, YOU'LL GO OFF SOMEPLACE--

TO EGYPT OR ONE OF THOSE COUNTRIES.

THEN WHERE WOULD I BE?

WITH ME. WHEREVER I GO, YOU GO.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT DRESS FOR EGYPT. WELL, DON'T YOU BOTHER ABOUT IT.

JUST, UH, DON'T BOTHER ABOUT IT.

PLEASE, JERRY. WELL, WHY NOT?

IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO HARRY. LOOK, CAN WE DROP HARRY... RIGHT ON HIS PINK SKULL?

DON'T GET ANGRY. IT'S NOT JUST HARRY.

WHAT WE'RE DOING-- YOU KNOW IT'LL LEAD TO SOMETHING.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. IT WILL. YOU KNOW IT.

BESIDES, IT MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU. FOR A GIRL, THERE'S ONLY ONE TIME.

WELL, ONE TIME IN 18 YEARS-- THAT'S NOT SUCH A BAD RECORD AT ALL, BABY.

PLEASE DON'T JOKE. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I GUESS YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF AN ANGEL. WELL, I'M NOT.

I'VE GOT FEELINGS PEOPLE IN BANNING DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

IT'S JUST-- I KNOW. YOU'RE NO ANGEL.

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN WHO NEEDS IT ??

?? THIS IS THE EARTH AND YOU ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL WHO WANTS ONE ??

?? YOU IN THE FLESH WILL DO ??

?? YOU'RE SO REAL I'M REELIN' ??

?? WHO CALLED YOU DIVINE ??

?? WATCH ME WALK ACROSS THE CEILIN' ??

?? SHOUTIN', YOU'RE MINE YOU'RE MINE ??

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN SO WHAT ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL NO, YOU'RE NOT ??

?? YOU'RE MINE YOU'RE MINE ??

?? YOU'RE MINE ??

DOES THAT MEAN YOU LOVE ME? WHAT'D IT SOUND LIKE, A HOEDOWN?

ANSWER IMPORTANT TO ME.

?? YOU'RE SO REAL I'M REELIN' ??

?? WHO CALLED YOU DIVINE ??

?? WATCH ME WALK ACROSS THE CEILIN' ??

?? SHOUTIN' YOU'RE MINE ??

?? YOU'RE MINE ??

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.

THEN I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS.

I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIE,

SO I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T.

UM--

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

LOOK, CAN WE-- CAN WE BOOK THIS FOR ANOTHER TIME, HUH?

WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER TOMORROW NIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, I'LL, UH, BE IN FRONT OF BIG TEX. BUT, UH-- BUT--

GO AHEAD HOME, WILL YA? JUST... GO AHEAD HOME.

I COULD NEVER MARRY HARRY.

HOW COULD I, WHEN I LOVEYOUSO MUCH? GOOD NIGHT!

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN SO WHAT ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL NO, YOU'RE NOT ??

?? YOU'RE M-- ????

???? [ Continues ]

???? [ Ends ]

ATTENTION, PLEASE. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

NEXT EVENT-- JUDGING FOR GRAND CHAMPION, HAMPSHIRE BOARS.

[ Both Grunting ]

WILL CONTESTANTS PLEASE GET THEIR PIGS READY FOR THE DRIVE?

HEY, DAD, HE LOOKS GOOD, LIKE A CHAMPION SHOULD. HE SURE DOES.

HONEY, YOU ALL RIGHT? HOW'S BLUEBOY? HOW DO YOU FEEL? CAN I DO SOMETHING--

PLEASE, MELISSA! HE'S READY TO GO. WILL THE JUNIOR CHAMPION--

HURRY UP AND STOP WORRYING, MELISSA. I'M NOT WORRIED.

AFTER ALL, BLUEBOY IS A FRAKE. COME ON, MOM. GOOD LUCK, DAD.

WILL THE JUNIOR CHAMPION PLEASE COME TO THE RING?

HERE'S THE JUNIOR CHAMPION--

THUNDERBOLT, NUMBER 184.

SHOWING FOR GRAND CHAMPION HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

OWNER, TRI-STATE FARMS.

[ Crowd Applauding ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting Continues ] LOOKS KINDA BIG, DOESN'T HE?

[ Grunting ]

NOW, REMEMBER, BABY, DON'T RUB IT IN. [ Grunting ]

JUST GIVE HIM THE LICKIN' OF HIS LIFE...

AND THEN GIVE HIM A KINDLY SMILE.

WILL THE SENIOR CHAMPION PLEASE COME TO THE RING?

FEEDING TIME FOR ZSA ZSA. GOOD LUCK, ABEL. THANKS, GEORGE.

[ Grunts, Squeals Softly ]

[ Announcer ] THE SENIOR CHAMPION--

BLUEBOY, NUMBER 510.

FINALIST FOR GRAND CHAMPION. [ Loud Applause ]

[ Applause Continues ] OWNER, MR. ABEL FRAKE.

[ Snuffling Rapidly ]

[ Snuffling Continues ]

[ Stops ]

[ Grunting Softly ]

[ Snuffling ]

-[ Audience Chuckling ] - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

SHH. POOR ABEL.

BLUEBOY, BABY. NOT HERE. THIS IS THE FINALS!

THERE'S NOTHING TO FRET ABOUT. YOU'RE SOUND AS A DOLLAR.

[ Judge ] AS A MATTER OF CURIOSITY, UH, IS THIS HIS NORMAL STANCE?

HE'S PLANNING, SIR. BLUEBOY ALWAYS DOES A LITTLE PLANNING BEFORE HE STANDS UP.

RIGHT, BLUEBOY? [ Panting ]

BLUEBOY, BABY, YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND THE MOST HOG THERE EVER WAS IN THE WORLD.

STRUT YOUR STUFF. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING A WHOLE YEAR FOR THIS.

[ Panting Continues ]

LOOK, YOU LEAD QUARTER, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR PSYCHE!

GET UP OFF YOUR HAMS! GET UP!

[ Groans ]

[ Audience Laughing ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Snuffling ]

[ Snuffling Continues ]

[ Stops ]

[ Grunting Softly ]

[ Grunting Continues ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

ATTENTION, PLEASE.

TURN TO PAGE 115 IN YOUR CATALOG.

I HAVE THE HONOR TO ANNOUNCE THE GRAND CHAMPION HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

- NUMBER 510, BLUEBOY-- -[ Applause ]

OWNER, ABEL FRAKE!

WILL MR. FRAKE PLEASE COME TO THE JUDGES' STAND?

???? [ Marching Band ]

???? [ Continues ] ATTABABY!

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Man Announcing ] GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO THE FIFTH RUNNING OF THE TEXAS STATE FAIR ANNUAL GOLD CUP RACE.

GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS IS JERRY DUNDEE AT THE FAIRGROUNDS RACETRACK.

AS I LOOK AROUND, I CAN SEE THE STANDS FILLING UP VERY RAPIDLY. LOOKS LIKE A RECORD TURNOUT.

IN FACT, I CAN SEE AN AWFUL LOT OF THE TOURING PROS ON HAND THIS AFTERNOON FOR THIS ONE...

IN ADDITION TO A FEW OF THE BETTER "FOR FUN" BOYS.

[ Engine Revving ]

THERE HE IS! OH, YEAH. COME ON.

I'M SORRY. YOU STILL HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ON YOUR WAY TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN BY NOW.

I'LL BE ON THE TRACK, RED. LOOK ME UP.

I'LL DO THAT.

GO EASY. RED WAS AROUND WHEN THE WHEEL WAS INVENTED.

IF HE WANTS TO PLAY, I'LL BE AS TOUGH AS HE IS. I DOUBT THAT.

HE HATES PEOPLE FOR A LIVING.

[ Announcer ] GOLD CUP ENTRIES TO THE STARTIN' LINE.

ALL CARS, PLEASE TAKE ASSIGNED POSITIONS.

WHAT'S THAT ON THE BACK OF WAYNE'S CAR?

SOME KIND OF PRINTING.

LOOKS LIKE "EARLY."

[ Margy ] DADDY, IT DOESN'T SAY "EARLY." IT SAYS "EMILY."

HE DOESN'T KNOW AN EMILY-- OR DIDN'T.

WONDER WHAT THE BOY'S BEEN UP TO?

MAYBE HE'S NAMED IT AFTER ONE OF THOSE HURRICANES BACK EAST?

THAT'S RIGHT. I THINK THERE WAS AN EMILY LAST SEPTEMBER.

DON'T KID ME. THERE'S AN EMILY THIS OCTOBER, RIGHT HERE IN DALLAS.

EMILY'S THAT TRICKY CARBURETOR HE'S BEEN TRYIN' TO FIX ALL THIS WEEK.

SO WHAT? WAYNE'S A SENSIBLE BOY.

ALL A SENSIBLE BOY NEEDS IS TO BUMP INTO SOMEBODY WITH THE RIGHT KIND OF TWITCH.

HE'LL THINK IT'S LOVE, AND THAT'LL BE THE END OF HIS BEING SENSIBLE.

THE CARS HAVE TAKEN THEIR POSITION NOW,

AND THOSE WITH THE FASTEST QUALIFYING TIMES ARE IN THE BACKFIELD.

[ Engines Revving ]

I HATE THESE THINGS. I JUST HATE 'EM.

THE BOY WANTS EXCITEMENT. I WAS THAT WAY WHEN I WAS HIS AGE.

HMM. WHEN YOU WERE HIS AGE, AUTOMOBILES WENT SIX MILES AN HOUR.

[ Tires Squealing ]

FRAKE IS MOVING UP, WITH RED HOERTER CHALLENGING ALL THE WAY.

THIS IS A REMATCH. THESE BOYS HAD A MEAN GO AT EACH OTHER LAST YEAR.

- [ Tires Squealing ] - [ Women Screaming ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Siren Continues ]

THE DRIVER SEEMS TO BE ALL RIGHT EXCEPT FOR WHAT THE PIT BOYS...

MIGHT CALL A LITTLE BROKEN DIGNITY.

FRAKE HAS MOVED INTO THE LEAD, AND HIS ARCHENEMY RED HOERTER IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM.

HOERTER AND FRAKE ARE OPENING UP OUT OF THE PACK NOW. HOLD IT.

THE YELLOW FLAG IS UP, BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO CATCH THE LEADERS.

THEY'VE ALREADY HIT THE FAR CHUTE.

OH!

ECKHARDT IS NOW MOVING UP TO HOERTER ON THE OUTSIDE. THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR POSITION.

[ Bangs ]

[ Banging ]

THAT WAS A DELIBERATE FORCE-OUT BY RED HOERTER.

[ Tires Squealing ]

IT'S TURNING INTO A TWO-MAN GO-- HOERTER IN THE LEAD AND FRAKE RIDING HIGH ON THE OUTSIDE.

[ Cheers ]

WHAT? HE'S TRYING TO SQUEEZE HOERTER OUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

AND ECKHARDT IS TAKING ADVANTAGE BY MOVING UP ON BOTH THOSE BOYS.

FRAKE IS FORCING HOERTER UP TRACK NOW. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE'S RIDING TO WIN.

[ Banging ]

-[ Audience Screams ] - [ Screams ]

BOTH DRIVERS HAVE PLOWED THROUGH THAT FENCE.

MAL ECKHARDT HAS HIT THE CHUTE NOW IN THE NUMBER ONE POSITION!

[ Audience Cheering ]

NEVER STRIKE A LADY, RED.

AMAZING WHAT WE FARM BOYS CAN DO WITH AN ERECTOR SET, ISN'T IT?

[ Wayne ] THANKS A LOT.

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS THAT GIRL.

AW, NOW, MAMA. WELL, MARGY, HE HAS A GIRL.

- WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GET MIXED UP WITH TRASH? -[ Abel ] STOP IT, MELISSA.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHY SHOULD WAYNE BE INTERESTED IN TRASH?

HE MIGHT NOT KNOW SHE'S TRASH.

SHE MIGHT NOT EITHER. COME ON NOW.

SO LONG, "EMILY." [ Sobs ]

OH, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

WE WERE SO WORRIED. NICE GOING, SON.

EMILY?

EMILY!

CONGRATULATIONS, JERRY. THAT NETWORK FEED PAID OFF.

WE GOT A "MUST COME" ON TELETYPE. A "MUST COME"? WHERE?

THEY WANT YOU TO DO ALL THE BIG TEN GAMES WITH MEL ALLEN.

YOU LEAVE TONIGHT. TONIGHT?

THE 8:00 PLANE TO CHICAGO. YOU TEE OFF WITH THE MICHIGAN-NORTHWESTERN GAME.

NOT TONIGHT. I GOTTA SEE A GIRL.

THIS IS A JUMP FROM TANK-TOWN TUBE TO THE NETWORKS. YOU CAN'T BLOW IT FOR LOCAL LAUGHS.

THAT'S THE TROUBLE. SHE'S NOT LOCAL LAUGHS. SEND HER A BOX OF CHOCOLATES.

I CAN'T EVEN SEND HER A MESSAGE. SHE LIVES IN A TRAILER TOWN.

I'VE GOT TO SEE HER. THERE'S SOMETHIN' I HAVE TO TELL HER.

I WANT HER TO KNOW SHE'S NOT MISSING MUCH.

THAT GIRL WITH THE PINKING SHEARS? I MADE THAT UP. WHAT?

AND THE CASBAH? I NEVER WAS TO THE CASBAH. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE MOVIE.

LOOK, THIS IS YOUR ONE CHANCE. YOU MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYIN'.

WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND. ARE YOU GOING OR NOT?

YEAH, I'M GOING. GOOD BOY!

NOW, STAY AT IT. YOU MAY AMOUNT TO SOMETHING. THANKS.

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

?? ?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING, FALLING-- ????

[ Whispering ] ABEL, DID YOU SPEAK TO HIM?

[ Whispering ] OF COURSE. HE SAYS HE'S THROUGH WITH RACING.

HE'S DONE WHAT HE'S WANTED TO.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

ABOUT WHAT HE WROTE ON HIS CAR-- "EMILY."

HONEY, YOU'RE JUST BUILDING SOMETHING UP. THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

OH, I TOOK CARE OF THAT. I LAID DOWN THE LAW-- ONE, TWO, THREE.

I SAID, "WAYNE, YOU TAKE YOUR SISTER AROUND THE FAIR TONIGHT."

THAT'S TELLIN' HIM.

HOW DO I LOOK? OH, JUST BEAUTIFUL, DARLING.

[ Paper Rustling ] DADDY?

DADDY! JUST A MINUTE. JUST A MINUTE.

OH, HERE IT IS. IT SAYS HERE,

"217,000 VISITORS ARE EXPECTED ON THE LAST DAY OF THE FAIR."

WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT OUT OF THE 217,000,

YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST GIRL I EVER SAW. [ Laughing ]

COME ON, CANDY-EYES. LET'S GO. DON'T MAKE IT LATE NOW.

WE WANT TO GET AN EARLY START IN THE MORNING. BYE-BYE, DARLING. HAVE FUN.

[ Big Tex ] HURRY! HURRY!

YOU'LL LOVE EVERY MINUTE.

YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME...

OF YOUR LIFE!

HEY, LOOK, MARGE. UH, IF I GIVE YOU A LITTLE LOOT,

WOULD YOU KIND OF TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TONIGHT?

ONE, TWO, THREE.

OKAY? THREE DOLLARS? YOU SURE THAT'S ENOUGH?

PLENTY. I WAS GONNA OFFERYOUTWO DOLLARS.

[ Big Tex ] HURRY! HURRY!

[ Grunts ] GET ON YOUR DANCIN' SHOES! YOU AND I ARE GOIN' TO THE FAIR.

OH, ABEL, PLEASE. I'M SO TIRED, AND I HAVEN'T CHANGED CLOTHES.

CAN'T WE JUST SIT AROUND AND TALK ABOUT BLUEBOY? HONEY, YOU'RE WRONG.

I'M A LOVER, NOT A FARMER! OH! [ Laughs ]

[ Big Tex ] IT'S THE BIGGEST SHOW ON EARTH. [ No Audible Dialogue ]

HI, EVERYBODY! COME IN. EVERYBODY GOES TO A REAL SHOW.

THE BIGGEST SHOW ON THE MIDWAY.

COME IN, EVERYBODY! A TICKET OFFICE HERE, A TICKET OFFICE THERE.

EVERYBODY HAS A TICKET. COME RIGHT IN. THE GREATEST SHOW--

STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR TEXAS BURGERS-- THE BIGGEST HUNK OF MEAT IN THE WORLD!

[ Man ] GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE BIGGEST MERRY-GO-ROUND IN THE WORLD!

THE BIGGEST THAT.

TEXAS HAS THE BIGGEST EVERYTHING.

ABOUT ALL WE PROVE IS THAT TEXAS HAS THE BIGGEST LIARS.

?? DEEP IN THE HEART OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT ??

?? IS THE BIGGEST ROSE THAT GROWS ??

?? SIZE ISN'T WHAT MY GIRL HAS GOT ??

?? BUT A ROSE IS A ROSE ??

?? IS A RO-O-OSE ?? SAY, THAT'S CUTE.

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THING S IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? THERE'S A GIRL WITH A VERY SMALL WAIST ??

? ?? WHO GIVES ME A VERY SMALL SQUEEZE ?

?? BUT, OH, HER HEAR T IS BIG AS TEXAS ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THING S IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? WHEN WE GO FOR A VERY SMALL WALK ??

?? OUR TALK IS A VERY SMALL TALK ??

?? AND SOMEHOW WE DON'T TALK OF TEXAS ??

?? THIS GIRL IS FULL OF GRACES ??

?? SHE'S CUTE IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ??

?? AND WHO NEEDS GREAT BIG SPACES ??

WHEE! ?? I DREW FOUR ACES ??

?? ONE LITTLE THING IN TEXAS ??

?? ADORES ME ??

?? AND IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? WHEN THE NIGHT STARTS A-COMIN' ALONG ??

?? A BIRD SINGS A VERY SHORT SONG ??

?? AND NOTHING'S SWEETER NORTH OF TEXAS ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN TEXAS ?? [ Coughs ]

?? I LOVE ??

?? THERE'S A MAN WITH A VERY SMALL REACH ??

?? WHOSE HUG I CONSIDER A PEACH ??

?? IN FACT, THE BEST FROM MAINE TO TEXAS ??

?? ?? THIS MAN IS NOT A FOSSIL

?? HE DOESN'T PUSH OR JOSTLE ??

?? ?? HE'S DARLING, BUT NOT DOCILE

WHEE! ?? THE KID'S COLOSSAL ??

[ All ] ?? ONE LITTLE THING IN TEXAS ??

?? ADORES ME ??

?? AND IT'S THE LITTLE THING S IN TEXAS ??

?? THE LITTLE THINGS IN TEXAS ??

?? THE LITTLE THINGS IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ????

[ Sighs ]

[ Knocking ]

[ Gasps ] I WENT BY THE SHOW, EMILY. THEY SAID YOU LEFT EARLY.

I'VE GOT A LOT OF PACKING TO DO. A GIRL PICKS UP A LOT OF TRINKETS.

[ Scoffs ] I DON'T-- I DON'T GET THIS.

I'D JUST LIKE AN EXPLANATION. THAT'S ALL.

HERE. READ UP ON OUR LOVE LIFE.

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S A TIMETABLE. RAILROADS PUT THEM OUT.

YOU MEAN YOU-- YOU'RE JUST LEAVING?

WITHOUT SAYING A WORD-- NOT A SINGLE WORD?

IS "GOOD-BYE" ONE WORD OR TWO?

UH, I DON'T-- I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A DRINK AROUND HERE?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A DRINK?

EMILY, I-- I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

JUST RUNNING OUT-- HOW-- HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?

LAST NIGHT, THE TWO OF US-- LOOK AT ME!

LAST NIGHT, YOU SAID EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL.

SO IS A MARTINI. BUT SOONER OR LATER YOU DRINK IT.

RIGHT NOW, BABY, YOU AND I ARE DOWN TO THE TOOTHPICK. EVEN THE OLIVE'S GONE.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

I WARNED YOU. A FEW DAYS, A FEW NIGHTS--

THOSE ARE THE GROUND RULES. YOU KNEW THAT FROM THE START.

BUT YOU CHANGED. AFTER THAT, WE TALKED ABOUT THE FARM...

AND HOW WE WERE ALWAYS GONNA BE TOGETHER.

THIS TRUNK WON'T LET US. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

THERE ARE MORE THAN CLOTHES IN THERE. OH, HONEY, I'M IN THERE TOO.

READ THE LABELS-- LITTLE ROCK, AKRON, SCRANTON, SPRINGFIELD.

THAT WOULDN'T LEAVE US MUCH TIME FOR THE SOUTH 40 NOW, WOULD IT? IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? JOIN THE SHOW? PLAY DRUMS? PAINT SCENERY?

AH, DON'T BE A DAMN FOOL.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.

GO BACK TO-- WHAT'S HER NAME? BETTY JEAN AND...

GROW CORN, ALFALFA, WHATEVER--

IT'S WHEAT, IF YOU DON'T MIND! WHEAT THEN!

GROW LOTS OF IT AND-- AND LOTS OF BABIES TOO! THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, ISN'T IT?

ON TOP OF THAT, YOU GET A BONUS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUYBILLBOARD THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE.

NOW JUST KISS ME AND FORGET IT.

[ Sighs ]

[ Bangs ] I DON'T BELIEVE THIS, EMILY!

I WON'T BELIEVE THI-- NOT UNTIL I HEAR YOU SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME.

SWEAR IT.

SWEAR IT! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SWEAR IT!

I WONDER IF THAT'S WHY THEY PUT THESE IN HOTEL ROOMS.

SWEAR IT, EMILY. STAND THERE AND SWEAR YOU DON'T LOVE ME. DON'T!

I WISH TO HELL YOU'D GET OUT OF HERE!

[ Crying ] I SWEAR TO GOD!

[ Scoffs ] WELL, THAT'S IT.

DON'T WORRY. I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN HIT BY A SLEDGEHAMMER. WAYNE? WAYNE?

HERE. MAY-- MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT'S A RING.

JUST-- JUST SAY IT'S A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER.

BYE, EMILY.

YOU KNOW, AFTER--

AFTER WHAT YOU SAID,

I GUESS THIS SOUNDS CRAZY,

BUT I SURE-- I SURE WISH IT WAS DIFFERENT.

[ Door Closes ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Sighs ]

???? [ Whistling ]

I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DRINKING.

NOT UNTIL YOU MENTIONED IT.

[ Slurred ] WELL, I'M HONEST.

THAT'S ONE THING YOU GOTTA ADMIT-- I'M HONEST.

IT'S MORE THAN SOME PEOPLE CAN SAY.

LIKE EMILY?

[ Inhales ]

IT WAS TERRIBLE, DAD. [ Sobbing ]

IT GETS THAT WAY ONCE IN A WHILE. [ Sniffles ]

OH, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE. OF COURSE NOT.

BUT DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER. I'VE BEEN FOOLING HER FOR CLOSE TO 30 YEARS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

I MEAN,REALLYIN LOVE.

WELL, WE DIDN'T GET YOU BY BEIN' CASUAL.

[ Sniffles ] I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

ONCE, A LONG TIME AGO, I RAN INTO A GIRL.

ABOUT LIKE YOURS, I SUPPOSE.

SHE COULD SHAKE HANDS WITH HER EYES.

[ Sighs ]

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

YEAH.

[ Straining ] I KEPT SAYIN' TO MYSELF,

"I HOPE THIS NEVER ENDS.

I'LL DIE IF IT DOES."

BUT IT DID END ONE NIGHT, WITH LIPSTICK ALL OVER MY COLLAR.

AND I DIDN'T DIE--

[ Grunts ] EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

I WAS GLAD IT WAS OVER.

UP.

SO YOU BE GLAD TOO. HMM?

WHAT WAS HER NAME, DAD?

DAMN IF I REMEMBER.

IT WAS ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE A FEW YEARS BACK.

I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN CLOSE SINCE.

DID SHE LOVE YOU?

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED. [ Sighs ]

ONCE IN A WHILE, WHEN I GET BLUE,

I TELL MYSELF SHE MIGHT'VE.

UP.

OF COURSE, I'D NEVER MENTION THIS TO YOUR MOTHER.

JUST TO GET EVEN, SHE MIGHT NOT IRON MY SHIRTS.

YOU KNOW, DAD, I DON'T THINK I BETTER TELL BETTY JEAN EITHER.

SHE'D DO THE SAME THING. YEAH. THEY'RE ALL ALIKE.

JUST THE SAME, I'M NOT GONNA BE LIKE YOU.

I'LL NEVER FORGET EMILY'S NAME.

YES, YOU WILL.

WE'RE ALL ALIKE TOO.

YOU MAY HATE YOURSELF FOR DOIN' IT,

BUT YOU'LL FORGET.

YEAH, SIME. LEAVIN' RIGHT NOW.

TELL DOC TO START SPADIN' UP THE GARDEN.

HE OWES ME FIVE DOLLARS.

SO LONG.

WELL, GEORGE, GOOD-BYE.

SEE YA NEXT YEAR. SO LONG, ZSA ZSA.

CONGRATULATIONS, ABEL. THANKS.

GOOD-BYE! [ Abel ] GOOD-BYE, ED!

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

GOOD-BYE! [ Melissa ] GOOD-BYE, GEORGE.

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Abel ] HI, SIME! HI!

[ Melissa ] HI, DOC! [ Abel Chuckles ] HI, DOC. HOW ARE YOU?

[ Margy ] HI! [ Abel ] WELL, DOC,

DID YA HEAR ABOUT BLUEBOY? I HEARD.

YOU'RE A HOMELY OLD DEVIL. [ Grunts ]

I'M SURPRISED HE'S NOT A-RIDIN' IN THE FRONT SEAT.

DON'T BE SILLY. HE TURNED US DOWN.

ABOUT THAT LITTLE BET OF OURS, DOC,

I'LL TAKE IT IN DOLLARS, QUARTERS, PENNIES-- ANYTHING THAT'S HANDY.

NOW, NOT SO FAST. MELISSA--

SHE DO PRETTY GOOD WITH HER MINCEMEAT?

GOOD? SHE PUT ONE JUDGE IN ORBIT.

WON A PLAQUE TO BOOT.

DOC, I THINK THAT FIVE DOLLARS HAS GONE TO SLEEP.

COULD YOU MAYBE GIVE IT A LITTLE SHAKE? NOW, HOLD IT.

MAYBE YOU WON A COUPLE OF PRIZES, BUT THAT AIN'T THE WHOLE BET.

NOBODY GOT SICK, AND NOTHIN' BAD HAPPENED TO ANY OF 'EM.

ONLY THING IS, SOMETHING MIGHT'VE HAPPENED WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

KIDS HAVE A GOOD TIME? MARGY? WAYNE?

?? THAT'S FOR ME ?? HIYA, DOC, OLD BOY, OLD BOY!

GREAT GERTRUDE. THAT LILAC WATER-- WHERE'S HE GET IT ALL?

I THINK THEY SHIP IT IN BY TANKER.

HEY, DAD! CAN I BORROW THE CAR? GO AHEAD!

HE SEEMS ALL RIGHT.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MARGY?

HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THE FAIR? [ Phone Rings ]

BETTER ANSWER THAT, MARGY. PROBABLY HARRY, FOR YOU.

[ Ringing Continues ]

WELL, GO ON, HONEY. DON'T LET IT RING ALL DAY. GO ON.

PLEASE, DOC. WINTER'S COMIN' ON.

NOW, LET'S NOT GET HASTY ABOUT THIS.

MARGY DIDN'T ANSWER ME.

[ Ringing Continues ]

HELLO. [ Sighs ]

[ Jerry ] MARGY, I'M HERE. HERE IN BANNING?

OH, JERRY. WHERE EXACTLY?

WELL, I'M IN THE CENTER OF TOWN, I THINK. I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, ALL THOSE THINGS I LAID ON YOU ABOUT WHERE I WAS AND--

PLEASE, IT DOESN'T MATTER, DARLING.

JUST POINT THE CAR TOWARDS ELKINS DRY GOODS. AND HURRY, DARLING.

OKAY. OKAY.

MARGY, YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THE FAIR? OH, YES. YES!

IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL FAIR IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

SO PAY DADDY HIS WONDERFUL FIVE DOLLARS.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SHE GOING?

DOWN THE WONDERFUL ROAD, I RECKON.

THE ODDS ARE SURE CHANGIN' ON PEOPLE.

I SHOULD'VE WON THAT BET. [ Chuckles ]

JERRY, STOP!

[ Chorus ] ?? OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR ??

?? IN OUR STATE ????

[ Chorus ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING ?? [ No Audible Singing ]

?? THE STARS ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE ??

?? FALLING, FALLING ??

?? IN LOVE ????