Original subtitles

♪ MUSIC >[ANNOUNCER]: RENEE JOHNS,

>[ANNOUNCER]: RENEE JOHNS, PLEASE COME TO MEET YOUR PARTY

PLEASE COME TO MEET YOUR PARTY AT GATE 33.

AT GATE 33. RENEE JOHNS MEET YOUR PARTY

RENEE JOHNS MEET YOUR PARTY AT GATE 33.

>>PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO, THE FLIGHT

SERVICE TO CHICAGO, THE FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED DUE TO SEVERE

HAS BEEN DELAYED DUE TO SEVERE WEATHER AND IS NOW SCHEDULED

WEATHER AND IS NOW SCHEDULED TO DEPART AT 11:35PM.

TO DEPART AT 11:35PM. ONCE AGAIN, FLIGHT 435 SERVICE

ONCE AGAIN, FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO WILL NOW DEPART

TO CHICAGO WILL NOW DEPART AT 11:35PM.

>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >NO, REALLY.

>NO, REALLY. WHAT?

>>I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING WHAT.

SAYING WHAT. YOU WERE WATCHING ME.

YOU WERE WATCHING ME. >WAS I?

>WAS I? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. >HMM.

>WHILE I WAS READING MY BOOK I THOUGHT IF I GAVE YOU A SORT

I THOUGHT IF I GAVE YOU A SORT OF A GLANCE AND LOOKED AMUSED

OF A GLANCE AND LOOKED AMUSED YOU MIGHT BE IMPRESSED.

>>IMPRESSED? WITH A GLANCE?

>WELL, I TRIED TO MAKE IT CHARMING OR COY OR MAYBE BOTH.

I'M NOT REALLY SURE AT THIS POINT.

POINT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

>>DO YOU KNOW ANY TRICKS?

>WHAT KIND OF TRICKS ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. LIKE CARNEY TRICKS OR SLIGHT

LIKE CARNEY TRICKS OR SLIGHT OF HAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

OF HAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT. MAYBE JUGGLING.

MAYBE JUGGLING. >WOULD IT REALLY MATTER

>WOULD IT REALLY MATTER IF I KNEW CARNEY TRICKS?

GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK. >>HMM-MM.

>DIARY? >>NO.

>>NO. >JOURNAL?

>JOURNAL? >>NO.

>>NO. >THEN WHAT IS IT?

>THEN WHAT IS IT? >>YOU KNOW, STUFF.

>>YOU KNOW, STUFF. >STUFF?

WELL, NOW I KNOW. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >IT'S GOT ALL YOUR SECRETS.

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCING]

>WHY DO YOU RUB THE LINING OF YOUR JACKET?

I NOTICED YOU OVER IN THE TICKETING LINE RUBBING

TICKETING LINE RUBBING THE LINING OF YOUR JACKET.

>>GUESS I COULD ASK YOU WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TALK

YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TALK TO STRANGERS?

TO STRANGERS? >IT'S THE KID IN ME I SUPPOSE.

>>SO, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE PRETENDING TO READ?

YOU'RE PRETENDING TO READ? COME UP WITH THINGS TO SAY

COME UP WITH THINGS TO SAY THAT MIGHT SOUND PROFOUND

THAT MIGHT SOUND PROFOUND AND WAIT FOR SOMEONE

AND WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO SAY THEM TO?

TO SAY THEM TO? >NO.

>NO. SOMETIMES, WHEN I'M NOT

SOMETIMES, WHEN I'M NOT READING, BUT PRETENDING TO BE.

READING, BUT PRETENDING TO BE. ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I HAVE A LITTLE BLACK NOTEBOOK

I HAVE A LITTLE BLACK NOTEBOOK THAT I WRITE THEM DOWN IN AND

THAT I WRITE THEM DOWN IN AND I FIND STRANGERS TO TEST

I FIND STRANGERS TO TEST THEM OUT ON.

THEM OUT ON. >>HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT

>>HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

FOR YOU? >USUALLY BETTER.

>USUALLY BETTER. BUT SEE, THERE WAS THIS GIRL

BUT SEE, THERE WAS THIS GIRL DOWN THERE EARLIER, SHE JUST

DOWN THERE EARLIER, SHE JUST WOULD NOT GET ONBOARD.

WOULD NOT GET ONBOARD. IT WAS A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK.

IT WAS A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK. NOT THAT I'M INTO NUTS OR

NOT THAT I'M INTO NUTS OR ANYTHING AS I'M EXTREMELY

ANYTHING AS I'M EXTREMELY ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.

>>YOU'RE CRAZY. >CRAZY GOOD OR CRAZY BAD?

>CRAZY GOOD OR CRAZY BAD? >>CRAZY BA-- GOOD.

>>CRAZY BA-- GOOD. >BA GOOD?

>BA GOOD? >>YES.

>>YES. THE JURY IS STILL OUT.

THE JURY IS STILL OUT. I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY

I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY COME BACK WITH A VERDICT.

COME BACK WITH A VERDICT. >ALL RIGHT.

>ALL RIGHT. I CAN WORK WITH THAT.

[CLEARING THROAT]

>YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN WORK WITH?

I CAN WORK WITH? COFFEE.

COFFEE. >>COFFEE?

>>COFFEE? >YEAH, LET'S GET SOME.

>YEAH, LET'S GET SOME. >>NOW?

>>NOW? >YES.

>YES. >>WITH YOU?

>>WITH YOU? >YES.

>YES. >>UMM, NO.

>ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I AM DESPERATE FOR

I AM DESPERATE FOR HUMAN CONTACT.

HUMAN CONTACT. I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS

I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS MINING FOR PRECIOUS METALS

MINING FOR PRECIOUS METALS IN THE WESTERN HILLS OF

IN THE WESTERN HILLS OF SIERRA LEONE WITH MY MUTE

SIERRA LEONE WITH MY MUTE COMPANION NAMED BECKY.

IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU [INDISTINCT]

THIS IS WHERE YOU RECIPROCATE.

>>I USUALLY TELL PEOPLE I'M A DRUMMER IN AN ALL GIRL

I'M A DRUMMER IN AN ALL GIRL PUNK BAND.

PUNK BAND. BUT I'M NOT.

BUT I'M NOT. UMM, I LOVE TRAVEL-SIZED

UMM, I LOVE TRAVEL-SIZED ACCOUTERMENTS AND I'M A WIZARD

ACCOUTERMENTS AND I'M A WIZARD AT PARALLEL PARKING.

AT PARALLEL PARKING. OH, AND I'M NOT JADED.

OH, AND I'M NOT JADED. I'M DEPRESSED.

I'M DEPRESSED. >SUPER.

>SUPER. STRANGERS NO MORE.

STRANGERS NO MORE. LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE.

LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE. >>UMM, IT'S JUST THE MIXTURE

>>UMM, IT'S JUST THE MIXTURE OF ME AND COFFEE.

OF ME AND COFFEE. I GET REALLY, UH...

I GET REALLY, UH... I HAVE THIS SENSE OF IMMEDIACY

I HAVE THIS SENSE OF IMMEDIACY THAT ALL OF THE SPACES

THAT ALL OF THE SPACES IN MY MIND HAVE GOT

IN MY MIND HAVE GOT TO BE FILLED, BUT ALL THE

TO BE FILLED, BUT ALL THE WORLD IS THERE FOR ME TO

WORLD IS THERE FOR ME TO CONSUME AND ENVELOP.

CONSUME AND ENVELOP. IT'S MINE TO CRACK OPEN AND

IT'S MINE TO CRACK OPEN AND SPILL INTO MY HANDS,

SPILL INTO MY HANDS, BUT IF I DON'T DO IT NOW

BUT IF I DON'T DO IT NOW NOTHING WILL EVER BE MINE.

NOTHING WILL EVER BE MINE. WHAT I WANT, WHAT I NEED,

WHAT I WANT, WHAT I NEED, ALL I SEE, NOW, NOW, NOW.

I SEE I'VE MOMENTARILY FORGOTTEN HOW TO FUNCTION.

FORGOTTEN HOW TO FUNCTION. SO, MAYBE I SHOULD GO.

>UH, HEY, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING EARLIER?

EARLIER? >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. >OH.

>OH. >>SOMETHING ABOUT THE

>>SOMETHING ABOUT THE IMMEDIATE NEED FOR

IMMEDIATE NEED FOR SELF-FULFILLMENT.

SELF-FULFILLMENT. >HOW'S IT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

>HOW'S IT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? >>KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT.

>>KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT. >WELCOME TO YOUR 20'S.

>WELCOME TO YOUR 20'S. >>HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>>HOW OLD ARE YOU? >27.

>27. >>SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS

>>SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS WHEN I TURN 27 I CAN GET SMUG

WHEN I TURN 27 I CAN GET SMUG AND ALL KNOWING?

AND ALL KNOWING? >I DON'T CLAIM TO KNOW

>I DON'T CLAIM TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING. >>YOU ACT LIKE YOU DO.

>>YOU ACT LIKE YOU DO. >IT'S A COMMON MISCONCEPTION.

>IT'S A COMMON MISCONCEPTION. HOW OLD ARE YOU?

HOW OLD ARE YOU? >>23.

>>23. [LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING] >YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE NIBLET.

>YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE NIBLET. >>A NIBLET?

>>A NIBLET? >YEAH.

>YEAH. YOUNG.

YOUNG. >>LIKE CORN?

>>LIKE CORN? >CORN?

>CORN? WHY ARE YOU TALKING

WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT VEGETABLES?

ABOUT VEGETABLES? >>YOU CALLED ME A NIBLET.

>>YOU CALLED ME A NIBLET. >OH, RIGHT.

>OH, RIGHT. CORN NIBLETS.

TELL ME SOMETHING. >>SOMETHING.

>>SOMETHING. >YEAH.

>YEAH. SOMETHING REAL.

SOMETHING REAL. >>SOMETHING REAL?

>>SOMETHING REAL? UM, I HAD THIS BLANKET WHEN

UM, I HAD THIS BLANKET WHEN I WAS A KID THAT HAD SATIN ALL

I WAS A KID THAT HAD SATIN ALL AROUND THE EDGES AND I USED TO

AROUND THE EDGES AND I USED TO RUB THE SATIN IN BETWEEN MY

RUB THE SATIN IN BETWEEN MY FINGERS, YOU KNOW, JUST

FINGERS, YOU KNOW, JUST BETWEEN MY FINGERS

BETWEEN MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME.

ALL THE TIME. THAT'S WHY I RUB THE LINING

THAT'S WHY I RUB THE LINING OF MY JACKET.

OF MY JACKET. IT REMINDS ME OF THE SATIN.

>THAT WASN'T SO HARD. >>EH, I GUESS.

>>EH, I GUESS. I JUST DON'T LIKE THE WHOLE

I JUST DON'T LIKE THE WHOLE REVEALING MYSELF PROCESS

REVEALING MYSELF PROCESS ALL THAT MUCH.

ALL THAT MUCH. >AFRAID PEOPLE WON'T LIKE

>AFRAID PEOPLE WON'T LIKE WHAT THEY SEE?

WHAT THEY SEE? >>NO.

>>NO. >AFRAID THEY WILL?

>AFRAID THEY WILL? >>AHA.

>>AHA. THAT I AM AFRAID THAT YOU'RE

THAT I AM AFRAID THAT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME

GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME SOMETHING.

SOMETHING. SOMETHING GOOD.

SOMETHING GOOD. >FAIR ENOUGH.

MY FIRST TRUE LOVE WAS GWEN STEFANI.

WAS GWEN STEFANI. >>GWEN STEFANI?

>>GWEN STEFANI? >HELL YEAH.

>HELL YEAH. I'M JUST A GIRL?

I'M JUST A GIRL? THAT SONG ROCKED.

THAT SONG ROCKED. YOU KNOW SHE WAS LIKE

YOU KNOW SHE WAS LIKE A LITTLE PUNK, YOU KNOW.

A LITTLE PUNK, YOU KNOW. AND WHEN SHE WOULD GET ON

AND WHEN SHE WOULD GET ON STAGE, SHE'D JUST JUMP AROUND

STAGE, SHE'D JUST JUMP AROUND LIKE SHE WAS POSSESSED

LIKE SHE WAS POSSESSED BY SOMETHING.

BY SOMETHING. SHE LED ME TO STEAL

SHE LED ME TO STEAL FOR THE FIRST TIME.

FOR THE FIRST TIME. >>SHE MADE YOU STEAL?

>>SHE MADE YOU STEAL? >I WAS IN THE STORE IN THE

>I WAS IN THE STORE IN THE MALL AND THERE WAS THIS

MALL AND THERE WAS THIS LITTLE POSTER OF HER ON STAGE

LITTLE POSTER OF HER ON STAGE COMPLETELY POSSESSED

COMPLETELY POSSESSED AND I HAD TO HAVE IT.

AND I HAD TO HAVE IT. I MEAN I HAD TO TAKE IT

I MEAN I HAD TO TAKE IT FOR MYSELF.

FOR MYSELF. I MEAN I HAD THE MONEY FOR IT,

I MEAN I HAD THE MONEY FOR IT, BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT BUYING.

BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT BUYING. SHE WANTED ME TO TAKE HER.

SHE WANTED ME TO TAKE HER. SO, I DID.

>>I'VE NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING BEFORE.

ANYTHING BEFORE. >NOT EVEN LIKE A PACK OF GUM?

>NOT EVEN LIKE A PACK OF GUM? >>NOT EVEN.

>>NOT EVEN. >HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

>HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. I WAS KIND OF A GOODY-GOODY

I WAS KIND OF A GOODY-GOODY GROWING UP.

>LET'S GO STEAL SOME SHIT. >>NO.

>>NO. >YEAH.

>YEAH. BE PART OF YOUR LIFE EDUCATION.

BE PART OF YOUR LIFE EDUCATION. >>HOW?

>>HOW? >IT'S GOOD TO GROW.

>IT'S GOOD TO GROW. >>NO.

I CAN'T.

>HERE, PUT THIS IN YOUR PANTS. >>NO, ARE YOU CRAZY?

>>NO, ARE YOU CRAZY? >WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

>WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? >>WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

>>WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH A TRAVELLING COMPASS?

WITH A TRAVELLING COMPASS? >DOES IT MATTER?

>DOES IT MATTER? >>WELL, IT SHOULD BE USEFUL

>>WELL, IT SHOULD BE USEFUL SHOULDN'T IT?

SHOULDN'T IT? >NO.

>NO. OKAY, FINE.

OKAY, FINE. UM, IT WILL HELP YOU ALONG

UM, IT WILL HELP YOU ALONG YOUR PATH IN THESE CRAZY DAYS

YOUR PATH IN THESE CRAZY DAYS OF LIFE WE LIVE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. TAKE THESE TAMPONS IF YOU'RE

TAKE THESE TAMPONS IF YOU'RE SO INTO PRACTICALITY.

SO INTO PRACTICALITY. >>HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET

>>HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME PICK SOMETHING?

ME PICK SOMETHING? YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE

YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE OVEREXCITED.

OVEREXCITED. >FINE.

>FINE. PICK SOMETHING YOURSELF.

PICK SOMETHING YOURSELF. >>THANK YOU.

>>THANK YOU. I MEAN HONESTLY, IS THIS HOW

I MEAN HONESTLY, IS THIS HOW GWEN'S POSTER SPOKE TO YOU

GWEN'S POSTER SPOKE TO YOU BECAUSE...

FEELING A LITTLE EXCLUDED, AREN'T YOU?

AREN'T YOU? >MAYBE.

>MAYBE. >>BECAUSE I COULD USE

>>BECAUSE I COULD USE SOME HELP.

SOME HELP. >YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

>YOU DON'T MEAN THAT. >>OF COURSE I DO.

>>OF COURSE I DO. >YEAH?

>YEAH? >>YES.

>>YES. I NEED A WINGMAN AND I THINK

I NEED A WINGMAN AND I THINK YOU ARE THE MAN FOR MY WING.

YOU ARE THE MAN FOR MY WING. >NOW WE'RE TALKING.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S MY HANDLE? >>WHAT ARE YOU?

>>WHAT ARE YOU? A TRUCKER?

>NO, BUT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE COVERT WE CAN'T USE OUR

COVERT WE CAN'T USE OUR REAL NAMES.

REAL NAMES. >>FINE.

>>FINE. I'M CHER, YOU'RE DION.

I'M CHER, YOU'RE DION. >WHY CAN'T I BE CHER?

>>BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SIDEKICK IN THIS OPERATION.

IN THIS OPERATION. >TOUCHE.

>TOUCHE. >>I NEED YOU

>>I NEED YOU TO NEUTRALIZE ELTON.

TO NEUTRALIZE ELTON. >DONE.

>DONE. >>GREAT.

>>GREAT. >WAIT.

>WAIT. WHO'S ELTON?

WHO'S ELTON? >>THE CREEPER LADY

>>THE CREEPER LADY OVER AT THE REGISTER.

>CAKE.

SO, PEGGY, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING

WHEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING AT ZENE'S N THINGS?

AT ZENE'S N THINGS? YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'D BE INTO,

YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'D BE INTO, WELL THAT SOUNDS VERY

WELL THAT SOUNDS VERY INTERESTING, GOOD DAY MADAM.

♪ MUSIC >HEY, HEY.

>HEY, HEY. WHAT DID YOU GET?

WHAT DID YOU GET? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? >>IT'S A KOOSH BALL.

>>IT'S A KOOSH BALL. >A KOOSH BALL?

>A KOOSH BALL? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. >YOU THINK THAT'S MORE USEFUL

>YOU THINK THAT'S MORE USEFUL THAN A TRAVELLING COMPASS?

THAN A TRAVELLING COMPASS? >>UH, YEAH.

>>UH, YEAH. IT SPOKE TO ME.

♪ MUSIC >TIME OUT.

>TIME OUT. TIME OUT.

>>SO, ARE WE TIGHT NOW? >OH, YEAH.

>OH, YEAH. WE'RE AN OPEN BOOK.

WE'RE AN OPEN BOOK. >>I TRY.

>>I TRY. I'M NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING

I'M NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING REALLY.

REALLY. I MEAN WHAT'S TO KNOW?

I MEAN WHAT'S TO KNOW? >I DON'T KNOW.

>I DON'T KNOW. STUFF.

STUFF. >>WELL, I DON'T KNOW YOU.

>>WELL, I DON'T KNOW YOU. SO, LIKE, TELLING YOU STUFF

SO, LIKE, TELLING YOU STUFF WOULD BE WEIRD.

WOULD BE WEIRD. >THAT'S WEIRD.

>THAT'S WEIRD. >>WHY?

>>WHY? >JUST IS.

>JUST IS. >>NO IT'S NOT.

>>NO IT'S NOT. >YOU JUST SAID IT WAS.

>YOU JUST SAID IT WAS. >>I DIDN'T.

>>I DIDN'T. >YES YOU DID.

>YES YOU DID. >>OKAY, I DID.

>>OKAY, I DID. >YOU INTEREST ME.

>YOU INTEREST ME. >>OKAY.

>>OKAY. >I WANT TO CRACK YOUR HEAD

>I WANT TO CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE.

OPEN AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE. >>IT'S FILLED WITH CANDY CORN,

>>IT'S FILLED WITH CANDY CORN, PSYCHO.

PSYCHO. >SEE?

>SEE? THAT'S INTERESTING.

THAT'S INTERESTING. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >SARCASM AS A DEFLECTION

>SARCASM AS A DEFLECTION MECHANISM.

MECHANISM. >>IS THAT YOUR ARMCHAIR

>>IS THAT YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY?

PSYCHOLOGY? >I PREFER POCKET PHILOSOPHER.

>I PREFER POCKET PHILOSOPHER. >>INTERESTING.

>>INTERESTING. >INTRIGUING.

>INTRIGUING. >INDUBITABLY.

>INDUBITABLY. ♪ MUSIC

♪ MUSIC >PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 435

>PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO, WE'D LIKE

SERVICE TO CHICAGO, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE

TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE THIS EVENING AND APOLOGIZE

THIS EVENING AND APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY.

FOR THE DELAY. WE WILL NOW BEGIN BOARDING

WE WILL NOW BEGIN BOARDING AT GATE 35.

♪ MUSIC >WHAT ROW ARE YOU IN?

>WHAT ROW ARE YOU IN? >>16.

>>16. >ME TOO.

>ME TOO. >>NO WAY.

>>NO WAY. >WAIT, WHAT SEAT ARE YOU IN?

>WAIT, WHAT SEAT ARE YOU IN? >>UM, A.

>>UM, A. >I'M IN B.

>I'M IN B. >>GET OUT OF TOWN.

>>GET OUT OF TOWN. >I AM.

>>CAN I SLAP YOU? >WHY?

>WHY? >>BECAUSE I LOVE THE SOUND.

>>BECAUSE I LOVE THE SOUND. IT'S SO SATISFYING.

IT'S SO SATISFYING. >HOW HARD WOULD YOU HIT ME?

>HOW HARD WOULD YOU HIT ME? >OH, NOT TOO HARD.

JUST ENOUGH TO GET A GOOD WHAP.

WHAP. >OKAY.

>OKAY. I GUESS.

I GUESS. [SMACK]

[SMACK] >OW.

>OW. >>DAMN, THAT SOUNDED GREAT.

>>DAMN, THAT SOUNDED GREAT. >TREACHERY.

>TREACHERY. YOU JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT

YOU JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

OUT OF ME. >>DON'T BE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH

>>DON'T BE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH ABOUT IT.

ABOUT IT. >IT HURT.

>IT HURT. >>TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.

>>TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. >LEGIT, YOU CRAZY.

>LEGIT, YOU CRAZY. I THINK I LIKE IT.

I THINK I LIKE IT. >>DON'T GET FRESH.

THANK YOU.

>GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. ON THE BEHALF OF CAPTAIN GROOM,

ON THE BEHALF OF CAPTAIN GROOM, THE ENTIRE CREW WOULD

THE ENTIRE CREW WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ONBOARD

LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ONBOARD FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO.

FLIGHT 435 SERVICE TO CHICAGO. OUR FLIGHT TIME WILL BE

OUR FLIGHT TIME WILL BE FOUR HOURS AND TEN MINUTES

FOUR HOURS AND TEN MINUTES AND WE ARE SCHEDULED TO LAND

AND WE ARE SCHEDULED TO LAND AT 5:40 LOCAL TIME.

>>YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? >TELL ME.

>TELL ME. >>THIS IS FATE.

>>THIS IS FATE. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.

THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. WE MEET, MAKE THIS

WE MEET, MAKE THIS CONNECTION, IT CAN ONLY BE

CONNECTION, IT CAN ONLY BE ATTRIBUTED TO THE GODS OF

ATTRIBUTED TO THE GODS OF DIVINE CONNECTIONEDNESSSION.

DIVINE CONNECTIONEDNESSSION. STEAL A KOOSH AND THEN, WELL,

STEAL A KOOSH AND THEN, WELL, AND THEN OUT OF ALL THE SEATS

AND THEN OUT OF ALL THE SEATS ON THIS PLANE, OUR SEATS

ON THIS PLANE, OUR SEATS ARE EXACTLY...

ARE EXACTLY... >YOU, DUDE.

>YOU, DUDE. YOU'RE IN MY SEAT.

YOU'RE IN MY SEAT. >>ARE YOU SURE?

>>ARE YOU SURE? >CHECK IT, SUCKA.

>>LISTEN, I WAS HOPING WE COULD SWITCH SEATS.

WE COULD SWITCH SEATS. >DON'T COCKBLOCK, DUDE.

>>LET'S GO THIS WAY.

COCKBLOCK? WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 10?

WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 10? >OLD ENOUGH TO NEGOTIATE.

>OLD ENOUGH TO NEGOTIATE. >>AS IN BRIBERY?

>>AS IN BRIBERY? >NO, EXTORTION.

>NO, EXTORTION. [LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING] >HOW MUCH?

>HOW MUCH? >>A HUNDO.

>>A HUNDO. >HA!

>HA! TWENTY.

TWENTY. >>DONE AND DONE.

>HOW'D THAT GO? >>WE HAD A LITTLE TET-A-TET.

>>WE HAD A LITTLE TET-A-TET. I TOLD HIM YOU'D SHANK HIM

I TOLD HIM YOU'D SHANK HIM WITH A PLASTIC SPORK.

WITH A PLASTIC SPORK. >SO, YOU MEAN HE SWINDLED YOU?

>SO, YOU MEAN HE SWINDLED YOU? >>LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.

IT'S A LITTLE PREMATURE DON'T YOU THINK?

[DING] >TOUCHE.

>>SMALL ACTS OF DEFIANCE, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW? >RIGHT.

>SO, WHERE ARE YOU CONNECTING TO?

CONNECTING TO? >>I'M GOING TO NORTH CAROLINA.

>>I'M GOING TO NORTH CAROLINA. >GOING HOME OR LEAVING HOME?

>GOING HOME OR LEAVING HOME? >>WELL, BOTH I GUESS.

>>WELL, BOTH I GUESS. I MEAN I'M GOING TO MY

I MEAN I'M GOING TO MY PARENT'S HOUSE, WHICH USED TO

PARENT'S HOUSE, WHICH USED TO BE MY HOUSE, BUT LOS ANGELES

BE MY HOUSE, BUT LOS ANGELES IS MY HOME NOW.

IS MY HOME NOW. SO, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M

SO, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M LEAVING HOME AND GOING HOME

LEAVING HOME AND GOING HOME AT THE SAME TIME.

AT THE SAME TIME. >I LIKE THAT.

>I LIKE THAT. >>EH, SOUNDS MORE POETIC

>>EH, SOUNDS MORE POETIC THAN IT REALLY IS.

THAN IT REALLY IS. >DON'T DO THAT.

>DON'T DO THAT. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >DON'T NOT LET YOURSELF

>DON'T NOT LET YOURSELF BE PROFOUND.

BE PROFOUND. >>WELL, OKAY.

>>WELL, OKAY. I WON'T NOT.

I WON'T NOT. >GOOD.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK ME? >>ASK YOU WHAT?

>>ASK YOU WHAT? >ABOUT MY CONNECTION.

>ABOUT MY CONNECTION. >>HMM.

[DING] >SO, I WAS WONDERING WHAT'S

>SO, I WAS WONDERING WHAT'S YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT?

YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT? >>NEW YORK.

>>NEW YORK. >WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FLY

>WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FLY DIRECT?

DIRECT? >>IT'S CHEAPER THIS WAY.

>>IT'S CHEAPER THIS WAY. >I'D LOVE TO BE ABLE TO

>I'D LOVE TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO FLY DIRECT.

AFFORD TO FLY DIRECT. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A NOVELTY,

IT'S ALMOST LIKE A NOVELTY, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW? FLYING DIRECTLY FROM

FLYING DIRECTLY FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.

ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER. >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. I KIND OF LIKE CONNECTING.

I KIND OF LIKE CONNECTING. I GET A WEIRD JOY

I GET A WEIRD JOY FROM BEING IN AIRPORTS.

FROM BEING IN AIRPORTS. >DIRECT.

>DIRECT. FIRST CLASS.

FIRST CLASS. IT'D BE LIKE A DREAM.

IT'D BE LIKE A DREAM. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO FIRST CLASS?

TO FIRST CLASS? I GOT BUMPED ONE TIME.

I GOT BUMPED ONE TIME. IT WAS AMAZING.

IT WAS AMAZING. I THINK I WAS BORN

I THINK I WAS BORN FOR FIRST CLASS.

FOR FIRST CLASS. >>EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE

>>EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE BORN FOR FIRST CLASS.

>WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE I STARTED TALKING

BEFORE I STARTED TALKING ABOUT FIRST CLASS AND THEN

ABOUT FIRST CLASS AND THEN I TALKED TOO MUCH?

I TALKED TOO MUCH? >>CONNECTING FLIGHTS.

>>CONNECTING FLIGHTS. >RIGHT.

>RIGHT. NEW YORK.

NEW YORK. LEAVING HOME OR

LEAVING HOME OR RETURNING HOME?

RETURNING HOME? >>RETURNING.

>>RETURNING. >AND WHY WERE YOU IN LA?

>AND WHY WERE YOU IN LA? >>I WAS VISITING A FRIEND.

>>I WAS VISITING A FRIEND. >A LADY FRIEND?

>A LADY FRIEND? >>A MAN FRIEND.

>>A MAN FRIEND. >YOU HOMO.

>YOU HOMO. DON'T WORRY.

DON'T WORRY. I'M ACCEPTING.

I'M ACCEPTING. >>A HETERO MAN FRIEND.

>>A HETERO MAN FRIEND. I'M NOT ONE OF THE GAYS.

I'M NOT ONE OF THE GAYS. >UH, MUST YOU CALL THEM

>UH, MUST YOU CALL THEM THE GAYS?

THE GAYS? NO NEED TO GET HOMOPHOBIC.

NO NEED TO GET HOMOPHOBIC. >>I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC.

>>I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC. SOME OF MY BEST...

SOME OF MY BEST... >WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

>WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME GUESS.

LET ME GUESS. YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT

YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT SOME OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS

SOME OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS ARE GAY?

ARE GAY? THAT'S WHAT RACIST PEOPLE SAY.

THAT'S WHAT RACIST PEOPLE SAY. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE BLACK PEOPLE.

ARE BLACK PEOPLE. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GAY PEOPLE.

ARE GAY PEOPLE. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE BUDDHIST MIDGETS

ARE BUDDHIST MIDGETS WITH NO ARMS PEOPLE.

WITH NO ARMS PEOPLE. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >WELL, I MEAN IT'S AN EASY

>WELL, I MEAN IT'S AN EASY CLAIM TO MAKE.

CLAIM TO MAKE. I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW A

I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW A BUDDHIST MIDGET, LET ALONE ONE

BUDDHIST MIDGET, LET ALONE ONE WITH NO ARMS, BUT I CAN CLAIM

WITH NO ARMS, BUT I CAN CLAIM TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH ONE

TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH ONE NOW, CAN'T I?

TANGENTING AGAIN, AREN'T I? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. >WHERE WERE WE?

>WHERE WERE WE? >>VISITING MY MAN FRIEND.

>>VISITING MY MAN FRIEND. >RIGHT.

>RIGHT. AND HOW WAS IT?

AND HOW WAS IT? >>ANTI-CLIMATIC.

>>ANTI-CLIMATIC. >WHY SO?

>WHY SO? >>WELL, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS

>>WELL, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS LIKE WE USED TO BE.

LIKE WE USED TO BE. IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS YOU

IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS YOU DON'T REALLY REALIZE UNTIL

DON'T REALLY REALIZE UNTIL YOU'RE THERE, YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE THERE, YOU KNOW? IT'S LIKE ON THE PHONE

IT'S LIKE ON THE PHONE YOU BOTH CAN PRETEND IT'S

YOU BOTH CAN PRETEND IT'S THE SAME, LIKE YOU'RE STILL

THE SAME, LIKE YOU'RE STILL FRIENDS IN THE REAL SENSE.

FRIENDS IN THE REAL SENSE. BUT THEN YOU GET FACE TO FACE

BUT THEN YOU GET FACE TO FACE AND...

>THAT'S SAD. >>SUCH IS LIFE.

>>SUCH IS LIFE. >I SUPPOSE.

♪ MUSIC >LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING. WE HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED

WE HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THE SNOW HAS PICKED UP AGAIN

THE SNOW HAS PICKED UP AGAIN IN CHICAGO.

IN CHICAGO. VISIBILITY IS TOO LOW

VISIBILITY IS TOO LOW FOR US TO LAND.

FOR US TO LAND. SO, WE'VE BEEN REROUTED

SO, WE'VE BEEN REROUTED TO DENVER WHERE WE WILL BE

TO DENVER WHERE WE WILL BE GROUNDED UNTIL TOMORROW

GROUNDED UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING.

MORNING. AIRLINE REPRESENTATIVES WILL

AIRLINE REPRESENTATIVES WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ASSIST YOU ON

BE AVAILABLE TO ASSIST YOU ON REBOOKING YOUR FLIGHT AND WILL

REBOOKING YOUR FLIGHT AND WILL HELP YOU ARRANGE FOR A HOTEL.

HELP YOU ARRANGE FOR A HOTEL. WE GREATLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE

WE GREATLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE AND WE'LL BE

INCONVENIENCE AND WE'LL BE LANDING AT 2:30AM

LANDING AT 2:30AM LOCAL DENVER TIME.

LOCAL DENVER TIME. >>SNOW?

>>SNOW? >SNOW.

>SNOW. >>DENVER?

>>DENVER? >DENVER.

♪ MUSIC

>HEY. >>HEY.

>>HEY. >HEY.

>HEY. >>HEY WHAT?

>>HEY WHAT? >HEY, LISTEN.

>HEY, LISTEN. >>HEY, LISTEN TO WHAT?

>>HEY, LISTEN TO WHAT? >HEY, LISTEN.

PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT'S IN THAT BLACK NOTEBOOK.

BLACK NOTEBOOK. >>I DON'T WANT TO.

>>I DON'T WANT TO. >YOU HAVE TO.

>YOU HAVE TO. >>WHY?

>>WHY? >BECAUSE I ASKED POLITELY.

>BECAUSE I ASKED POLITELY. >>I SUPPOSE YOU DID.

>>I SUPPOSE YOU DID. >YES, I DID.

THANKS.

>>WELL, I GUESS I FANCY MYSELF A WRITER.

A WRITER. >YOU GUESS?

>YOU GUESS? >>NO, I FANCY MYSELF A WRITER.

>>NO, I FANCY MYSELF A WRITER. >YOU FANCY?

>YOU FANCY? >>UH, LEAVE ME ALONE.

>>UH, LEAVE ME ALONE. >WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO

>WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE GUESSING

FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE GUESSING ABOUT HOW YOU FANCY YOURSELF

ABOUT HOW YOU FANCY YOURSELF A GUESS OR IF YOU'RE A WRITER?

A GUESS OR IF YOU'RE A WRITER? >>I'D LIKE TO BE A WRITER.

>>I'D LIKE TO BE A WRITER. >DO YOU WRITE?

>DO YOU WRITE? >>WELL, YEAH.

>>WELL, YEAH. >SO, YOU'RE A WRITER.

>SO, YOU'RE A WRITER. >>I GUESS.

>>I GUESS. >WHY?

>WHY? >>I GUESS I JUST FEEL

>>I GUESS I JUST FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS TALKING

SELF-CONSCIOUS TALKING ABOUT IT.

ABOUT IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT? >WHAT?

>WHAT? >>I WANT TO FEEL AWAKE.

>>I WANT TO FEEL AWAKE. >HAVE A COFFEE.

>HAVE A COFFEE. >>I MEAN METAPHORICALLY.

>>I MEAN METAPHORICALLY. >MAYBE AN ESPRESSO

>MAYBE AN ESPRESSO WOULD BE BEST.

WOULD BE BEST. PERHAPS A CAPPUCCINO?

PERHAPS A CAPPUCCINO? NO?

NO? MAYBE A CAFE AU LAIT?

MAYBE A CAFE AU LAIT? >>ARE YOU BELITTLING ME?

>>ARE YOU BELITTLING ME? >NO.

JUST TRYING TO CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR BULLSHIT.

ON YOUR BULLSHIT. >>THANKS.

>>THANKS. >THAT AND HELP YOU ESPRESS

>THAT AND HELP YOU ESPRESS YOURSELF.

YOURSELF. >>SAY WHAT?

>>SAY WHAT? >ESPRESS YOURSELF.

>ESPRESS YOURSELF. >>I'M SORRY.

>>I'M SORRY. AGAIN, PLEASE.

AGAIN, PLEASE. >ESPRESSO SELF.

♪ MUSIC >THIS WAY.

>>816, 817, 818.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

NOW? >LIKE RIGHT NOW?

>LIKE RIGHT NOW? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. NOW, NOW.

NOW, NOW. >WELL, I'M GOING TO BRUSH MY

>WELL, I'M GOING TO BRUSH MY TEETH, MAYBE CONTEMPLATE LIFE,

TEETH, MAYBE CONTEMPLATE LIFE, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL.

YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. >>WELL, ALL RIGHT.

>>WELL, ALL RIGHT. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

PROBABLY JUST GOING TO PONDER THE COSMOS.

THE COSMOS. >HMM, WELL, OKAY.

>>THAT'S THAT...

>WHAT TIME IS YOUR FLIGHT TOMORROW?

TOMORROW? >>7:30.

>>7:30. >MINE'S AT 8.

>MINE'S AT 8. WHAT SHUTTLE ARE YOU

WHAT SHUTTLE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE?

GOING TO TAKE? >>PROBABLY THE ONE AT 6.

>>PROBABLY THE ONE AT 6. >I PROBABLY WILL TOO.

>>SO, I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

MORNING. >I GUESS YOU WILL.

>>WELL, I GUESS THIS IS GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. >I GUESS IT IS.

>I GUESS IT IS. GOOD NIGHT.

♪ MUSIC

[PHONE RINGING]

>HELLO? >>HELLO.

>>HELLO. >GOD?

>GOD? >>YES, MY CHILD.

>>YES, MY CHILD. >OH, HEY.

>OH, HEY. >>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >CONTEMPLATING LIFE.

>CONTEMPLATING LIFE. >>DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?

>>DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH? >I DID.

>I DID. >>WAS IT MARVELOUS?

>>WAS IT MARVELOUS? >IT WAS.

>>YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND WATCH SOME TV?

AND WATCH SOME TV? >IN HEAVEN?

>IN HEAVEN? >>OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ROOM 825.

>>OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ROOM 825. >I'LL BE THERE SHORTLY.

>>WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR ARRIVAL.

TO YOUR ARRIVAL. >WHY THANK YOU.

>WHY THANK YOU. >>YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME.

♪ MUSIC >YOU LIKE THAT MOVIE?

>YOU LIKE THAT MOVIE? >>SURE, IT'S SWEET.

>>SURE, IT'S SWEET. >IT'S MOVIES LIKE THAT THAT

>IT'S MOVIES LIKE THAT THAT FUCK REAL LIFE AND REAL LOVE.

FUCK REAL LIFE AND REAL LOVE. >>HOW?

>>HOW? >THEY PERPETUATE THESE INSANE

>THEY PERPETUATE THESE INSANE IDEAS ABOUT LOVE AND THE IDEA

IDEAS ABOUT LOVE AND THE IDEA OF IT.

OF IT. >>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >WELL, IT'S LIKE WE'LL NEVER

>WELL, IT'S LIKE WE'LL NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH REAL LIFE

BE SATISFIED WITH REAL LIFE LOVE BECAUSE MOVIES HAVE

LOVE BECAUSE MOVIES HAVE LED US TO BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS

LED US TO BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS LIVED OUT IN A NEVER-ENDING

LIVED OUT IN A NEVER-ENDING MONTAGE.

MONTAGE. THEY MAKE IT INTO THIS MAGICAL

THEY MAKE IT INTO THIS MAGICAL THING AND IT'S JUST GOING TO

THING AND IT'S JUST GOING TO SOMEHOW SOLVE ALL OF YOUR

SOMEHOW SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS.

PROBLEMS. >>MAYBE IT IS.

>>MAYBE IT IS. MAYBE IT DOES.

MAYBE IT DOES. >BUT DOES IT REALLY EXIST?

>BUT DOES IT REALLY EXIST? IN REAL LIFE?

IN REAL LIFE? I'M NOT SO SURE IT DOES.

I'M NOT SO SURE IT DOES. I MEAN MAYBE IT DOES, BUT MY

I MEAN MAYBE IT DOES, BUT MY PARENTS NEVER REALLY HAD IT SO

PARENTS NEVER REALLY HAD IT SO MAYBE IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T

MAYBE IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T HAD A GLIMPSE OF IT.

HAD A GLIMPSE OF IT. OR MAYBE THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

OR MAYBE THAT'S NOT THE POINT. MAYBE THE POINT IS THAT LIFE

MAYBE THE POINT IS THAT LIFE AND LOVE WILL NEVER BE AS EASY

AND LOVE WILL NEVER BE AS EASY OR GLAMOROUS OR EXCITING

OR GLAMOROUS OR EXCITING AS IT IS IN THE MOVIE.

>>THAT WAS QUITE A LITTLE RANT YOU JUST WENT ON THERE.

YOU JUST WENT ON THERE. >YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS.

>YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS. >>ARE YOU FEELING

>>ARE YOU FEELING ANY BETTER NOW?

ANY BETTER NOW? >I MEAN DO RANTS REALLY EVER

>I MEAN DO RANTS REALLY EVER MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?

MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER? IT'S NOT THEIR PURPOSE REALLY.

>>ARE YOU A DIVORCE BABY? >A WHAT?

>A WHAT? >>YOU KNOW,

>>YOU KNOW, CHILD OF A BROKEN HOME.

CHILD OF A BROKEN HOME. >I'M NOT, ACTUALLY.

>I'M NOT, ACTUALLY. MY PARENTS ARE STILL MARRIED.

MY PARENTS ARE STILL MARRIED. MY ANGER JUST COMES NATURALLY.

MY ANGER JUST COMES NATURALLY. >>FAIR ENOUGH.

>>FAIR ENOUGH. >ARE YOURS?

>ARE YOURS? DIVORCED?

DIVORCED? >>THEY ARE.

>>THEY ARE. >YEAH?

>YEAH? >>YEAH.

GUESS YOU COULD CHALK IT UP TO HAVING TOO MUCH PASSION.

TO HAVING TOO MUCH PASSION. >SO, THEY HAD IT?

>SO, THEY HAD IT? >>THEY DID.

DIDN'T DO THEM A LOT OF GOOD THOUGH.

THOUGH. KIND OF CRACKED UNDER

KIND OF CRACKED UNDER THE PRESSURE OF IT.

>BUT I MEAN AT LEAST YOU'VE SEEN IT.

YOU'VE SEEN IT. I MEAN MY PARENTS JUST

I MEAN MY PARENTS JUST BICKERED AND WERE IN THIS

BICKERED AND WERE IN THIS MARRIAGE WHERE I NEVER REALLY

MARRIAGE WHERE I NEVER REALLY FELT LIKE THEY WERE IN LOVE.

FELT LIKE THEY WERE IN LOVE. THEY JUST SORT OF KEPT IT

THEY JUST SORT OF KEPT IT GOING I GUESS FOR MY BROTHER

GOING I GUESS FOR MY BROTHER AND ME, WHICH WAS VERY NOBLE

AND ME, WHICH WAS VERY NOBLE OF THEM, BUT I DON'T KNOW.

OF THEM, BUT I DON'T KNOW. SOMETIMES I THINK THEY RUINED

SOMETIMES I THINK THEY RUINED MARRIAGE FOR ME.

MARRIAGE FOR ME. >>THAT'S A GRAND STATEMENT.

>>THAT'S A GRAND STATEMENT. >I KNOW.

>I KNOW. SOMETIMES I'M SCARED TO SAY IT

SOMETIMES I'M SCARED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD BECAUSE I'M AFRAID MY

OUT LOUD BECAUSE I'M AFRAID MY PARENTS WILL HEAR ME SOMEWHERE

PARENTS WILL HEAR ME SOMEWHERE ACROSS THE MILES AND I DON'T

ACROSS THE MILES AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT THEM LIKE THAT.

WANT TO HURT THEM LIKE THAT. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I JUST

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I JUST DON'T THINK MARRIAGE

DON'T THINK MARRIAGE WORKS FOR ANYONE.

WORKS FOR ANYONE. >>WELL, MAYBE IT DOES,

>>WELL, MAYBE IT DOES, BUT IT'S JUST NOT FOR YOU.

BUT IT'S JUST NOT FOR YOU. >SO, YOU'RE SAYING YOU THINK

>SO, YOU'RE SAYING YOU THINK MARRIAGE CAN WORK?

MARRIAGE CAN WORK? >>NO.

>>NO. I'M SAYING MAYBE IT'S JUST

I'M SAYING MAYBE IT'S JUST NOT FOR YOU.

NOT FOR YOU. >MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

>MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. I MEAN WHO AM I TO SAY

I MEAN WHO AM I TO SAY SOMETHING AS BROAD AS THAT.

SOMETHING AS BROAD AS THAT. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE OUR

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE OUR GENERATION'S PARENTS ARE

GENERATION'S PARENTS ARE EITHER DIVORCED OR UNHAPPY

EITHER DIVORCED OR UNHAPPY OR BOTH.

OR BOTH. I MEAN LOOK AT YOU.

I MEAN LOOK AT YOU. YOUR PARENTS ARE DIVORCED.

YOUR PARENTS ARE DIVORCED. DOESN'T THAT FUCK YOU UP?

DOESN'T THAT FUCK YOU UP? >>WELL, THEM BEING DIVORCED

>>WELL, THEM BEING DIVORCED HASN'T FUCKED ME UP

HASN'T FUCKED ME UP QUITE AS MUCH AS THE

QUITE AS MUCH AS THE ACTUAL DIVORCE DID.

ACTUAL DIVORCE DID. >WELL, HOW SO?

>WELL, HOW SO? >>WELL, I MEAN WE WERE LITTLE

>>WELL, I MEAN WE WERE LITTLE MY BROTHER AND I.

MY BROTHER AND I. I WAS SIX AND HE WAS EIGHT.

I WAS SIX AND HE WAS EIGHT. SO, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS

SO, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS IS ACTUALLY COMING FROM MY OWN

IS ACTUALLY COMING FROM MY OWN MEMORY OR FROM WHAT I WAS TOLD

MEMORY OR FROM WHAT I WAS TOLD LATER WHAT HAPPENED,

LATER WHAT HAPPENED, BUT MY BROTHER AND I WERE

BUT MY BROTHER AND I WERE ASSETS TO MY DAD.

ASSETS TO MY DAD. ANOTHER THING HE COULD FIGHT

ANOTHER THING HE COULD FIGHT MY MOM FOR.

MY MOM FOR. JUST TO HURT HER.

JUST TO HURT HER. JUST TO WIN, YOU KNOW?

>AND DID HE? WIN I MEAN?

WIN I MEAN? >>IT'S NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T

>>IT'S NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ANY OTHER TALE

HEARD FROM ANY OTHER TALE OF DIVORCE WOE.

OF DIVORCE WOE. ALL OUR STORIES ARE THE SAME.

ALL OUR STORIES ARE THE SAME. HALF OUR GENERATION'S

HALF OUR GENERATION'S FUCKED UP FROM DIVORCE.

FUCKED UP FROM DIVORCE. >OR LACK OF.

AND I WAS JUST SORT OF NODDING LIKE IT WAS ALL SO COMPLETELY

LIKE IT WAS ALL SO COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE.

UNDERSTANDABLE. >>WASN'T IT?

>>WASN'T IT? >WELL, SHE WAS ALL,

>WELL, SHE WAS ALL, "MY HEART IS BROKEN."

"MY HEART IS BROKEN." AND IT REALLY FUCKING

AND IT REALLY FUCKING BOTHERED ME.

BOTHERED ME. >>WHY?

>THE WAY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT A BROKEN HEART IS RIDICULOUS.

A BROKEN HEART IS RIDICULOUS. LIKE IT'S A TANGIBLE OBJECT,

LIKE IT'S A TANGIBLE OBJECT, SOMETHING YOU CAN HOLD

SOMETHING YOU CAN HOLD OR SIT ON A SHELF.

OR SIT ON A SHELF. YOU CAN BRING YOUR FRIENDS

YOU CAN BRING YOUR FRIENDS OVER AND SAY, "LOOK AT HERE

OVER AND SAY, "LOOK AT HERE WHAT I GOT ON MY

WHAT I GOT ON MY KNICKKNACK SHELF.

KNICKKNACK SHELF. IT'S THE TWO PIECES

IT'S THE TWO PIECES OF MY BROKEN HEART.

OF MY BROKEN HEART. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOLD THEM?"

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOLD THEM?" IT JUST MAKES IT ALL SEEM LIKE

IT JUST MAKES IT ALL SEEM LIKE BULLSHIT.

BULLSHIT. >>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

>>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? >NO.

>>SO, YOU'VE NEVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?

HEART BROKEN? >WELL, NO.

>WELL, NO. >>HMM.

>>HMM. >WHAT?

>WHAT? >>JUST AWFULLY CRITICAL OF

>>JUST AWFULLY CRITICAL OF SOMETHING YOU KNOW

SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

NOTHING ABOUT. >OH, PLEASE.

>OH, PLEASE. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE

I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE CYNICAL.

CYNICAL. >>HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE ANYWAY?

>>HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE ANYWAY? THAT YOU'VE NEVER

THAT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE?

BEEN IN LOVE? >I DON'T KNOW.

>I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST BETTER AT BEING ALONE.

I'M JUST BETTER AT BEING ALONE. ACTUALLY, NOT BETTER BECAUSE

ACTUALLY, NOT BETTER BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN BAD AT

I'VE NEVER BEEN BAD AT TOGETHER BECAUSE I'VE NEVER

TOGETHER BECAUSE I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN THAT TOGETHER

ACTUALLY BEEN THAT TOGETHER WITH A PERSON.

WITH A PERSON. >>YOU NEVER KNOW,

>>YOU NEVER KNOW, YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.

YOU MIGHT LIKE IT. >DO YOU LIKE IT?

>DO YOU LIKE IT? >>I DO.

>>I DO. >DO TELL WHY.

>DO TELL WHY. >>WELL, IT'S HARD TO TALK

>>WELL, IT'S HARD TO TALK ABOUT LOVE WITHOUT

ABOUT LOVE WITHOUT SOUNDING TRITE.

SOUNDING TRITE. >WELL, DO IT ANYWAY.

>WELL, DO IT ANYWAY. >>TALKING ABOUT LOVE IS LIKE

>>TALKING ABOUT LOVE IS LIKE TRYING TO PUT WORDS TO

TRYING TO PUT WORDS TO SOMETHING YOU CAN'T DEFINE.

SOMETHING YOU CAN'T DEFINE. >YOU'RE RIGHT.

>YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT WAS PRETTY TRITE.

THAT WAS PRETTY TRITE. I MEAN HERE I AM, YOUNG AND

I MEAN HERE I AM, YOUNG AND NAIVE IN THE WAYS OF LOVE

NAIVE IN THE WAYS OF LOVE AND YOU HAVE NOTHING

AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO THROW AT ME BUT CLICHE.

NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.

♪ MUSIC >I THINK MAYBE WE'VE BEEN

>I THINK MAYBE WE'VE BEEN IN THIS ROOM TOO LONG.

IN THIS ROOM TOO LONG. >>MAYBE.

>>MAYBE. >WE SHOULD LEAVE THIS PLACE.

>WE SHOULD LEAVE THIS PLACE. >>WE COULD.

>>WE COULD. >WE WILL FIND SUSTENANCE.

>WE WILL FIND SUSTENANCE. >>WE WILL?

>>WE WILL? >YES, WE WILL.

[ELEVATOR DING]

♪ MUSIC

>HI THERE. >>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU?

>>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU? >PARDON?

>PARDON? >>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU?

>>HOW MAY I BURGER YOU? >I'M SORRY.

>I'M SORRY. WHAT?

WHAT? >>I DIDN'T WRITE IT,

>>I DIDN'T WRITE IT, BUT I'M REQUIRED TO SAY IT.

BUT I'M REQUIRED TO SAY IT. >HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT

>HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

FOR YOU? >>LOOK, MAN.

>>LOOK, MAN. LET'S NOT TORTURE THE

LET'S NOT TORTURE THE 20-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT

20-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT WHO'S FLIPPING BURGERS TO PAY

WHO'S FLIPPING BURGERS TO PAY HIS PARENTS RENT MONEY BECAUSE

HIS PARENTS RENT MONEY BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO LET HIM LIVE

THEY REFUSE TO LET HIM LIVE IN THEIR BASEMENT FOR FREE.

>DO YOU REALLY LIVE IN YOUR PARENT'S BASEMENT?

>>WELL, THEN. I THINKS I'LL GET THE

I THINKS I'LL GET THE NUMBER ONE.

NUMBER ONE. >I THINK I'M GOING TO GO

>I THINK I'M GOING TO GO WITH NUMBER FOUR.

WITH NUMBER FOUR. NO, ONE.

NO, ONE. NO, FOUR.

NO, FOUR. ONE, NO, FOUR.

ONE, NO, FOUR. ONE.

ONE. NO, FOUR.

NO, FOUR. FOUR.

FOUR. FOUR, PLEASE.

FOUR, PLEASE. AND CAN I HAVE SOME KETCHUP

AND CAN I HAVE SOME KETCHUP WITH THAT?

WITH THAT? >>ANYTHING ELSE?

>>ANYTHING ELSE? >UH, NO.

>UH, NO. I THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT.

>>THANK YOU.

>I MEAN I WANT TO LOVE THINGS. >>WHAT?

>JUST BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T

IN LOVE DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT TO.

WANT TO. JUST NOT SURE I'LL EVER GET TO.

JUST NOT SURE I'LL EVER GET TO. >>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >YOU'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT?

>YOU'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT? LIKE THAT THING WILL EVER BE

LIKE THAT THING WILL EVER BE YOURS?

>>YOU CAN LOVE SOMETHING WITHOUT IT BEING YOURS.

WITHOUT IT BEING YOURS. >NO YOU CAN'T.

>>YOU'VE BEEN BURGERED. >I'M SORRY, WHAT?

>I'M SORRY, WHAT? >>BURGERED.

>>BURGERED. >PARDON?

>WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO BE ANOREXIC?

YOU WANT ME TO BE ANOREXIC? >>WELL, YOU MAY WANT TO

>>WELL, YOU MAY WANT TO ACTUALLY BREATHE

ACTUALLY BREATHE WHILE YOU EAT.

>YOU MIGHT WANT TO WIPE THAT KETCHUP OFF YOUR CHIN.

KETCHUP OFF YOUR CHIN. HIGHER.

HIGHER. LOWER.

LOWER. LOWER AGAIN.

LOWER AGAIN. HIGHER AGAIN.

HIGHER AGAIN. NO, LET ME GET IT.

>>I'LL NEVER WASH THIS CHEEK AGAIN.

[STRAW SQUEAKING] >OH, WHAT A WICKED WEB

>OH, WHAT A WICKED WEB WE WEAVE.

WE WEAVE. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >THE WEB THAT WE WEAVE.

>THE WEB THAT WE WEAVE. IT'S KIND OF WICKED.

IT'S KIND OF WICKED. DON'T YOU THINK?

>>I DON'T KNOW IF I'D USE THE WORD WICKED.

THE WORD WICKED. PER SE.

PER SE. OR WEB FOR THAT MATTER.

OR WEB FOR THAT MATTER. BUT WHATEVER IT IS WE'VE

BUT WHATEVER IT IS WE'VE DEFINITELY WEAVED IT.

DEFINITELY WEAVED IT. >I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

>I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. WE DID WEAVE IT.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WEAVE? >>NO.

>>NO. >YEAH, ME EITHER.

>>MAYBE THAT'S WHY WE'RE SO UNHAPPY.

UNHAPPY. >BECAUSE WE CAN'T WEAVE?

>BECAUSE WE CAN'T WEAVE? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. I MEAN WE SPEND ALL OUR TIME

I MEAN WE SPEND ALL OUR TIME REMINISCING ABOUT WHAT WE'VE

REMINISCING ABOUT WHAT WE'VE WEAVED, BUT WE DON'T KNOW

WEAVED, BUT WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO WEAVE.

HOW TO WEAVE. SO, WE'VE REALLY WEAVED

SO, WE'VE REALLY WEAVED NOTHING.

NOTHING. IPSO FACTO WE'RE REMINISCING

IPSO FACTO WE'RE REMINISCING ABOUT NOTHING.

ABOUT NOTHING. >MY GOD, THAT'S BRILLIANT.

>MY GOD, THAT'S BRILLIANT. >>THANK YOU.

>DID YOU JUST COME UP WITH THAT?

WITH THAT? >>I DID.

>>I DID. >GOOD FOR YOU.

>GOOD FOR YOU. >>THANK YOU.

>HAVE YOU EVER FELT NOSTALGIC FOR SOMETHING WITHOUT KNOWING

FOR SOMETHING WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU'RE NOSTALGIC FOR?

WHAT YOU'RE NOSTALGIC FOR? >>LIKE WHAT?

>>LIKE WHAT? >I JUST, I DON'T KNOW.

>I JUST, I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING ABOUT

SOMETHING ABOUT INTERSTATE EXITS.

INTERSTATE EXITS. >>INTERSTATE EXITS?

>>INTERSTATE EXITS? >YEAH.

>YEAH. MY FAMILY NEVER REALLY FLEW

MY FAMILY NEVER REALLY FLEW ALL THAT OFTEN.

ALL THAT OFTEN. WE ALWAYS DROVE.

WE ALWAYS DROVE. ALWAYS.

ALWAYS. IT WAS THIS REALLY

IT WAS THIS REALLY WELL PRACTICED ROUTINE.

WELL PRACTICED ROUTINE. I'D REMEMBER SPECIFIC EXITS,

I'D REMEMBER SPECIFIC EXITS, KNOW WHAT GAS STATION WE

KNOW WHAT GAS STATION WE WENT TO, AND WHAT FAST FOOD

WENT TO, AND WHAT FAST FOOD RESTAURANT WE STOPPED AT.

RESTAURANT WE STOPPED AT. AND FOR SOME REASON I MISS IT.

AND FOR SOME REASON I MISS IT. I MEAN MAYBE IT'S JUST THE

I MEAN MAYBE IT'S JUST THE NEON GOING STRAIGHT TO MY

NEON GOING STRAIGHT TO MY BRAIN, BUT I MISS THIS

BRAIN, BUT I MISS THIS WHEN I SHOULDN'T REALLY.

WHEN I SHOULDN'T REALLY. IT'S JUST SOME EXIT OFF

IT'S JUST SOME EXIT OFF SOME INTERSTATE.

SOME INTERSTATE. I COULD REALLY BE ANYWHERE.

I COULD REALLY BE ANYWHERE. >>THERE'S A SMALL AMOUNT

>>THERE'S A SMALL AMOUNT OF ROMANCE TO THAT.

OF ROMANCE TO THAT. LIKE THE IDEA THAT EVERYWHERE

LIKE THE IDEA THAT EVERYWHERE SEEMS A LITTLE BIT FAMILIAR.

SEEMS A LITTLE BIT FAMILIAR. KIND OF LIKE HOME.

KIND OF LIKE HOME. >YEAH.

>YEAH. I GUESS.

I GUESS. BUT IT'S ALSO KIND OF

BUT IT'S ALSO KIND OF DEPRESSING THAT YOU CAN NEVER

DEPRESSING THAT YOU CAN NEVER GO ANYWHERE NEW.

THERE'S ALL THESE TRIPS IN MY LIFE THAT I REMEMBER IN MILE

LIFE THAT I REMEMBER IN MILE MARKERS AND EXIT SIGNS.

MARKERS AND EXIT SIGNS. GAS, FOOD, LODGING.

GAS, FOOD, LODGING. THE OPTIONS WERE ALWAYS

THE OPTIONS WERE ALWAYS THE SAME.

THE SAME. BUT THERE WAS THIS WEIRD SORT

BUT THERE WAS THIS WEIRD SORT OF COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT

OF COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT IF YOU PASS AN EXIT WITH

IF YOU PASS AN EXIT WITH SOMETHING YOU WANTED,

SOMETHING YOU WANTED, NO WORRIES.

NO WORRIES. JUST GO A FEW MORE EXITS

JUST GO A FEW MORE EXITS AND YOU'LL FIND IT AGAIN.

AND YOU'LL FIND IT AGAIN. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I MISS,

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I MISS, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW? FEELING THAT YOU CAN NEVER

FEELING THAT YOU CAN NEVER MISS OUT ON SOMETHING.

MISS OUT ON SOMETHING. >>MAYBE YOU'RE JUST NOSTALGIC

>>MAYBE YOU'RE JUST NOSTALGIC FOR CHILDHOOD.

FOR CHILDHOOD. >COULD BE.

>COULD BE. >>MAYBE IT'S JUST PAST

>>MAYBE IT'S JUST PAST YOUR BEDTIME.

YOUR BEDTIME. >I THINK IT IS.

DO YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU THINK TOO MUCH?

THAT YOU THINK TOO MUCH? >>UMM.

>>UMM. >BECAUSE I THINK THAT

>BECAUSE I THINK THAT ALL THE TIME.

ALL THE TIME. >>WELL.

>>WELL. >BUT NOT THAT THINKING

>BUT NOT THAT THINKING IS A BAD THING.

IS A BAD THING. IT'S JUST THE INCESSANT

IT'S JUST THE INCESSANT THINKING ABOUT WHAT

THINKING ABOUT WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT.

I'M THINKING ABOUT. AND HOW IT MAKES ME THINK

AND HOW IT MAKES ME THINK OF THINGS THAT I DON'T

OF THINGS THAT I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT.

WANT TO THINK ABOUT. >>WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

>>WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? >ABOUT HOW I'M THINKING.

>ABOUT HOW I'M THINKING. NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.

NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW I CAN'T

I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW I CAN'T SEEM TO GET THROUGH A DAY

SEEM TO GET THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT FEELING NOSTALGIC

WITHOUT FEELING NOSTALGIC ABOUT MY PAST OR NOSTALGIC

ABOUT MY PAST OR NOSTALGIC FOR SOME FUTURE I HAVEN'T EVEN

FOR SOME FUTURE I HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL.

LIVED AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL. IT MAKES ME SAD.

>>LIKE LIVES YOU KNOW YOU'LL NEVER LIVE, BUT WOULD LIKE TO?

NEVER LIVE, BUT WOULD LIKE TO? >EXACTLY.

>EXACTLY. >>I FEEL THAT TOO.

>>I FEEL THAT TOO. >I ALWAYS WISH THERE COULD BE

>I ALWAYS WISH THERE COULD BE LIKE SIX OF ME AND WE ALL

LIKE SIX OF ME AND WE ALL LIVED THESE DIFFERENT LIVES,

LIVED THESE DIFFERENT LIVES, BUT HAD A COLLECTIVE MEMORY

BUT HAD A COLLECTIVE MEMORY BANK WE SHARED.

BANK WE SHARED. >>OR IF YOU COULD ONE LIFE BY

>>OR IF YOU COULD ONE LIFE BY A DAY AND ANOTHER BY NIGHT.

A DAY AND ANOTHER BY NIGHT. SO, YOU WOULD GO TO BED IN ONE

SO, YOU WOULD GO TO BED IN ONE LIFE AND YOU'D TRANSPORT TO

LIFE AND YOU'D TRANSPORT TO SAY RUSSIA AND YOU LIVE

SAY RUSSIA AND YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE THERE.

YOUR LIFE THERE. THEN YOU GO TO BED IN RUSSIA

THEN YOU GO TO BED IN RUSSIA AND IMMEDIATELY WAKE UP HERE.

AND IMMEDIATELY WAKE UP HERE. >EXACTLY.

>EXACTLY. BUT I MEAN NOT RUSSIA.

BUT I MEAN NOT RUSSIA. >>NO, OF COURSE NOT.

>>NO, OF COURSE NOT. I'D LOOK TERRIBLE IN A

I'D LOOK TERRIBLE IN A BABUSHKA.

BABUSHKA. >AND I HATE IN VODKA.

>AND I HATE IN VODKA. UGH.

WE TALK TOO MUCH. >>LEGIT... SUCH ASSHOLES.

>>LEGIT... SUCH ASSHOLES. >I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHERE DO WE

>I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHERE DO WE GET OFF TAKING UP SO MUCH

GET OFF TAKING UP SO MUCH OXYGEN?

OXYGEN? THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT. IT'S COLD OUT HERE.

IT'S COLD OUT HERE. LET'S GO EXPLORE SOME SHIT.

LET'S GO EXPLORE SOME SHIT. ♪ MUSIC

♪ MUSIC >NICE.

WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE THOSE DOORS LEAD?

THOSE DOORS LEAD? >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. >LET'S FIND OUT.

>LET'S FIND OUT. >>OKAY.

>LET'S GO IN. >>ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

>>ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? >WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?

>WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF? >>WHAT IF THEY CATCH US

>>WHAT IF THEY CATCH US IN THERE?

IN THERE? >I'M SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING

>I'M SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING YOU RIGHT NOW.

YOU RIGHT NOW. >>WHY?

>>WHY? >I THOUGHT YOU HAD BALLS.

>I THOUGHT YOU HAD BALLS. >>YOU WISH, HOMO.

>HEY. >>HEY.

>HEY. >>HEY.

>HEY. >>HEY.

OH MY GOD. I'M HONORED.

I'M HONORED. I'M SO HONORED.

I'M SO HONORED. LET ME THINK.

LET ME THINK. I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY.

I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY. WHAT AN HONOR, I MEAN

WHAT AN HONOR, I MEAN I'M HONORED.

I'M HONORED. AND TO MY FELLOW NOMINEES,

AND TO MY FELLOW NOMINEES, YOU INSPIRE ME.

YOU INSPIRE ME. AND LAST NOT BUT NOT LEAST,

AND LAST NOT BUT NOT LEAST, MY PARENTS FOR THE

MY PARENTS FOR THE ACTING CLASS WHEN I WAS TWO.

ACTING CLASS WHEN I WAS TWO. YOU CAN NEVER START TOO EARLY.

YOU CAN NEVER START TOO EARLY. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL.

THANK YOU ALL. I LOVE THE WORLD.

I LOVE THE WORLD. WAIT, STOP THE MUSIC

WAIT, STOP THE MUSIC JUST STOP.

JUST STOP. I FORGOT TO THANK MY

I FORGOT TO THANK MY BEST FRIENDS.

BEST FRIENDS. MY AGENT, MY PUBLICIST,

MY AGENT, MY PUBLICIST, AND MY LAWYER.

AND MY LAWYER. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. [CLAPPING]

[CLAPPING]

>I WISH I COULD BE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE.

WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE. LIKE A FARM WITH SOME ANIMALS.

LIKE A FARM WITH SOME ANIMALS. MAYBE SOME SHEEP THAT I SHEAR

MAYBE SOME SHEEP THAT I SHEAR AND WEAVE MY FABRIC ON AN

AND WEAVE MY FABRIC ON AN OLD-FASHIONED LOOM AND

OLD-FASHIONED LOOM AND BE HAPPY DOING THAT.

BE HAPPY DOING THAT. >>YOU'D LIKE TO SHEAR SHEEP?

>>YOU'D LIKE TO SHEAR SHEEP? >NOT LITERALLY.

>NOT LITERALLY. ACTUALLY, I'M STRANGELY

ACTUALLY, I'M STRANGELY FRIGHTENED BY SHEEP.

FRIGHTENED BY SHEEP. I JUST MEAN SOMETHING

I JUST MEAN SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?

LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? SIMPLER WAY OF LIFE.

SIMPLER WAY OF LIFE. >>YEAH, BUT IT'D PROBABLY

>>YEAH, BUT IT'D PROBABLY SUCK.

SUCK. >BUT MAYBE I'D BE HAPPY.

>BUT MAYBE I'D BE HAPPY. >>DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?

>>DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? >YES.

>YES. NO.

NO. FUCK.

FUCK. I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT I'VE DECIDED

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE DECIDED WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF BECAUSE

WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT, BUT I CAN

IT'S WHAT I WANT, BUT I CAN THINK OF NOTHING WORSE THAN

THINK OF NOTHING WORSE THAN CHASING AFTER SOMETHING

CHASING AFTER SOMETHING YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED AND THEN

YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED AND THEN REALIZING IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU

REALIZING IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY EVEN AFTER YOU

HAPPY EVEN AFTER YOU STRUGGLED TO GET IT.

STRUGGLED TO GET IT. >>YEAH, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW

>>YEAH, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT

YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT ONCE YOU GET THERE?

ONCE YOU GET THERE? >I DON'T KNOW.

>I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I WON'T.

MAYBE I WON'T. BUT IT'S WHAT I WANT AT 23.

BUT IT'S WHAT I WANT AT 23. BY THE TIME I GET THERE

BY THE TIME I GET THERE I WON'T BE 23 ANYMORE, WHICH

I WON'T BE 23 ANYMORE, WHICH MAKES ME THINK I'M ALWAYS

MAKES ME THINK I'M ALWAYS GOING TO WANT WHAT I WANT NOW.

♪ MUSIC >CAN YOU TELL ME SOMETHING?

>CAN YOU TELL ME SOMETHING? >>I'M A LITTLE WORRIED.

>>I'M A LITTLE WORRIED. >WHY?

>WHY? >>I'M SENSING YOU'RE NO LONGER

>>I'M SENSING YOU'RE NO LONGER LOOKING FOR AMUSEMENT.

LOOKING FOR AMUSEMENT. >MAYBE I'M NOT.

>MAYBE I'M NOT. >>WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

>>WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? >ENLIGHTENMENT.

>ENLIGHTENMENT. >>CUTE.

>>CUTE. >THANKS.

>THANKS. >>YOU'VE BEEN SAVING THAT ONE,

>>YOU'VE BEEN SAVING THAT ONE, HAVEN'T YOU?

HAVEN'T YOU? >I HAVE.

>I HAVE. >>FOR HOW LONG?

>>FOR HOW LONG? >HMM, COUPLE HOURS.

>HMM, COUPLE HOURS. NOW SEEMED RIGHT.

NOW SEEMED RIGHT. SO, I THREW IT OUT THERE.

SO, I THREW IT OUT THERE. >>RIGHT.

>YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO WITH MY POSSIBLY

DO WITH MY POSSIBLY INSIGNIFICANT LIFE.

>>IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAVED SO EASILY.

>OKAY, COULD YOU CHECK YOUR SELF-LOATHING AT THE DOOR FOR

SELF-LOATHING AT THE DOOR FOR MAYBE THE NEXT I DON'T KNOW

MAYBE THE NEXT I DON'T KNOW TWO MINUTES?

TWO MINUTES? >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >ENOUGH WITH THE GAME

>ENOUGH WITH THE GAME OF MYSTERY.

OF MYSTERY. JUST FUCKING TELL ME.

JUST FUCKING TELL ME. >>JEEZ.

>>JEEZ. >I AM...?

>I AM...? >>I AM ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

>>I AM ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. >COME ON.

>COME ON. JUST TELL ME.

>>I AM A TRUST FUND. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW? >SO, YOU'RE RICH?

>SO, YOU'RE RICH? >>YOU COULD SAY THAT.

>>YOU COULD SAY THAT. >LIKE REALLY RICH?

WELL, I CAN'T SAY I'M COMPLETELY OKAY WITH IT.

COMPLETELY OKAY WITH IT. PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SOMEWHAT

PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SOMEWHAT JEALOUS, BUT BESIDES THAT

JEALOUS, BUT BESIDES THAT I MEAN IT CAN'T BE SO BAD

I MEAN IT CAN'T BE SO BAD TO BE RICH.

TO BE RICH. NOW CAN IT?

NOW CAN IT? >>IT'S NOT BAD.

>>IT'S NOT BAD. IT'S GREAT.

IT'S GREAT. IT'S FUCKING AWESOME.

IT'S FUCKING AWESOME. >THEN WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET

>THEN WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT HAVING MONEY?

ABOUT HAVING MONEY? I MEAN EVERYBODY WANTS IT.

I MEAN EVERYBODY WANTS IT. YOU'VE GOT IT.

YOU'VE GOT IT. >>WHY AM I UPSET?

BECAUSE I'M A WASTE OF HUMAN FLESH.

OF HUMAN FLESH. BECAUSE I'M FUCKING WEAK.

BECAUSE I'M FUCKING WEAK. BECAUSE INSTEAD OF A SPINE

BECAUSE INSTEAD OF A SPINE I HAVE A BIRTHRIGHT.

I HAVE A BIRTHRIGHT. TAKE YOUR PICK.

TAKE YOUR PICK. >I'LL GO WITH BIRTHRIGHT.

>I'LL GO WITH BIRTHRIGHT. THAT ONE SOUNDS INTRIGUING.

THAT ONE SOUNDS INTRIGUING. >>OH, YOU'RE INTRIGUED?

>>OH, YOU'RE INTRIGUED? >WELL, YEAH.

>WELL, YEAH. I MEAN, OH, SECRET IDENTITY

I MEAN, OH, SECRET IDENTITY KIND OF INTRIGUED.

KIND OF INTRIGUED. >>IT'S NO SECRET OR ANYTHING.

>>IT'S NO SECRET OR ANYTHING. I MEAN THIS MONEY WAS MADE

I MEAN THIS MONEY WAS MADE BEFORE THERE WAS A ME.

BEFORE THERE WAS A ME. I THOUGHT I HATED IT.

I THOUGHT I HATED IT. I THOUGHT I COULD HATE IT.

I THOUGHT I COULD HATE IT. I REALLY THOUGHT I COULD LIVE

I REALLY THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITHOUT MY PARENT'S MONEY.

WITHOUT MY PARENT'S MONEY. I HAD ALL THESE GREAT

I HAD ALL THESE GREAT INTENTIONS OF JUST WALKING

INTENTIONS OF JUST WALKING AWAY.

AWAY. I MEAN I TELL MYSELF,

I MEAN I TELL MYSELF, "SELF, YOU DON'T NEED THIS.

"SELF, YOU DON'T NEED THIS. LET'S LIVE.

LET'S LIVE. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN JUST CUT

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN JUST CUT THE ROPE AWAY."

THE ROPE AWAY." ROMANTIC, RIGHT?

ROMANTIC, RIGHT? >IT'S GOT SOME ROMANCE TO IT.

>IT'S GOT SOME ROMANCE TO IT. >>SO, I DECIDED TO GO ON A

>>SO, I DECIDED TO GO ON A SPIRITUALISTIC JOURNEY WHERE I

SPIRITUALISTIC JOURNEY WHERE I COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ON

COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ON MY OWN WITHOUT MY PARENT'S

MY OWN WITHOUT MY PARENT'S MONEY FOR ONCE.

MONEY FOR ONCE. I DECIDED TO BECOME A REAL

I DECIDED TO BECOME A REAL OLD-FASHIONED TROUBADOUR.

OLD-FASHIONED TROUBADOUR. >A TROUBADOUR?

>A TROUBADOUR? FANCY.

FANCY. I LIKE IT.

I LIKE IT. >>WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

>>WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY

COULD ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY REFER TO IT AS A TROUBADOUR

REFER TO IT AS A TROUBADOUR WHEN YOU FINANCE IT WITH

WHEN YOU FINANCE IT WITH TRUST FUNDAGE.

TRUST FUNDAGE. >OH.

>OH. >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. THAT'S WHERE THE WEAK PART

THAT'S WHERE THE WEAK PART COMES IN.

COMES IN. APPARENTLY, CUTTING THE NET

APPARENTLY, CUTTING THE NET TAKES A STRONGER KNIFE

TAKES A STRONGER KNIFE THAN WHAT I WAS USING.

THAN WHAT I WAS USING. YOU NEED LIKE A SERRATED BLADE

YOU NEED LIKE A SERRATED BLADE OR A POCKETKNIFE EVEN.

OR A POCKETKNIFE EVEN. >AND YOU ARE?

>AND YOU ARE? >>BUTTER KNIFE.

>>BUTTER KNIFE. REALLY DULL BUTTER KNIFE.

REALLY DULL BUTTER KNIFE. IT'S KIND OF LIKE CUTTING WITH

IT'S KIND OF LIKE CUTTING WITH A SPOON COME TO THINK OF IT.

A SPOON COME TO THINK OF IT. HELL, IT PROBABLY WAS A SPOON.

HELL, IT PROBABLY WAS A SPOON. >SO, THERE YOU WERE.

>SO, THERE YOU WERE. TROUBADOUR WITH A SPOON.

TROUBADOUR WITH A SPOON. >>GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE

>>GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE AND I MOVED TO SAN FRANCISCO

AND I MOVED TO SAN FRANCISCO BECAUSE IT WAS KEROUACIAN.

BECAUSE IT WAS KEROUACIAN. BUT I STARTED USING THE MONEY

BUT I STARTED USING THE MONEY RIGHT AWAY.

RIGHT AWAY. JUST SMALL AMOUNTS.

JUST SMALL AMOUNTS. THEN I USED MORE OF IT.

THEN I USED MORE OF IT. AND THEN I FORGOT TO FORGET

AND THEN I FORGOT TO FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY.

ABOUT THE MONEY. >WELL, SO, WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE

>WELL, SO, WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE DOING IN NEW YORK?

DOING IN NEW YORK? >>EATING WITH A SPOON.

>>EATING WITH A SPOON. >OH.

>OH. >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. >SILVER ONE?

>SILVER ONE? >>I BELIEVE IT MAY BE.

>>I BELIEVE IT MAY BE. >HOW DOES IT TASTE?

>HOW DOES IT TASTE? >>A LITTLE BITTER.

>>A LITTLE BITTER. KIND OF LIKE CROW.

KIND OF LIKE CROW. >I HEARD THAT'S AN

>I HEARD THAT'S AN ACQUIRED TASTE.

ACQUIRED TASTE. >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? CROW?

YEAH, I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT ONE.

>SO, YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING? >>NOT REALLY.

>>NOT REALLY. >WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? >>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T KNOW. >WELL, THERE MUST BE

>WELL, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING.

SOMETHING. >>I'M KIND OF AT THIS POINT

>>I'M KIND OF AT THIS POINT OF IN BETWEEN.

OF IN BETWEEN. IT'S LIKE I KNOW I CAN DO

IT'S LIKE I KNOW I CAN DO ANYTHING.

ANYTHING. I MEAN I REALLY BELIEVE THAT.

I MEAN I REALLY BELIEVE THAT. IT'S JUST THAT WHEN I ACTUALLY

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN I ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT DOING IT,

THINK ABOUT DOING IT, I'M PETRIFIED.

I'M PETRIFIED. GUESS I'M JUST KIND OF IN A

GUESS I'M JUST KIND OF IN A HOLDING PATTERN.

HOLDING PATTERN. >WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST,

>WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST, I DON'T KNOW, DO SOMETHING?

>>I MEAN IF I PICK SOMETHING, I'LL HAVE TO FINALLY REALLY

I'LL HAVE TO FINALLY REALLY DEFINE MYSELF.

DEFINE MYSELF. THAT SCARES ME BECAUSE THERE'S

THAT SCARES ME BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING I REALLY WANT TO BE.

>WHEN I ASK YOU WHAT'S THE WORLD, YOU'RE GOING TO

THE WORLD, YOU'RE GOING TO RAISE YOUR SPOON AND SAY,

RAISE YOUR SPOON AND SAY, "MY FUCKING OYSTER,"

"MY FUCKING OYSTER," AND THEN I'M GOING TO ASK YOU,

AND THEN I'M GOING TO ASK YOU, "AND WHATCHA YOU LOOKING FOR?"

"AND WHATCHA YOU LOOKING FOR?" AND YOU'RE GOING TO SAY,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, "MY FUCKING PEARL."

"MY FUCKING PEARL." YOU READY?

>>READY. >WHAT'S THE WORLD?

>WHAT'S THE WORLD? >>MY FUCKING OYSTER.

>>MY FUCKING OYSTER. >NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

>NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. MY FUCKING OYSTER!

MY FUCKING OYSTER! COME ON, GET EXCITED ABOUT IT.

COME ON, GET EXCITED ABOUT IT. MAKE IT AN EXCLAMATION.

MAKE IT AN EXCLAMATION. OKAY?

OKAY? WHAT'S THE WORLD?

WHAT'S THE WORLD? >>MY FUCKING OYSTER!

>>MY FUCKING OYSTER! >WHATCHA LOOKING FOR?

>WHATCHA LOOKING FOR? >>MY FUCKING PEARL!

>>MY FUCKING PEARL! >THERE YOU FUCKING GO!

>THERE YOU FUCKING GO! >>THERE YOU FUCKING GO!

♪ MUSIC >I LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH

>I LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH IN THE SHOWER.

IN THE SHOWER. >>ME TOO.

>>ME TOO. I LIKE TRAVEL SIZED

I LIKE TRAVEL SIZED ACCOUTERMENTS.

ACCOUTERMENTS. >I KNOW.

>I KNOW. >>YOU DO?

>>YOU DO? >YEAH, YOU TOLD ME ALREADY

>YEAH, YOU TOLD ME ALREADY WHEN WE FIRST MET.

WHEN WE FIRST MET. >>I TEND TO REPEAT STORIES.

>>I TEND TO REPEAT STORIES. OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD.

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD. >WHAT OCCUPATION IS THAT?

>WHAT OCCUPATION IS THAT? >>BEING FORGETFUL.

>>BEING FORGETFUL. >AH, YES.

>AH, YES.

♪ MUSIC

[WATER SPLASH]

>I'VE GOT SOMETHING. >>YEAH?

>>YEAH? >YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YOU GET

>YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU STRETCH YOUR ARM OUT

WHEN YOU STRETCH YOUR ARM OUT THE CAR WINDOW AND THE WIND

THE CAR WINDOW AND THE WIND CATCHES UNDER YOUR FINGERS AND

CATCHES UNDER YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR HAND JUST SEEMS TO FLOAT

YOUR HAND JUST SEEMS TO FLOAT THERE WITH ALL THE AIR RUSHING

THERE WITH ALL THE AIR RUSHING AROUND IT?

AROUND IT? THAT MAKES ME FEEL FREE.

I WISH I COULD LIVE UP INSIDE THAT FEELING.

THAT FEELING. JUST RIGHT UP INSIDE IT.

>>TAKES A LOT TO IMPRESS YOU. >WHAT?

>>IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JADED.

YOU'RE JADED. >JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT EASILY

>JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT EASILY IMPRESSED DOESN'T MEAN

IMPRESSED DOESN'T MEAN I'M JADED.

I'M JADED. >>I THINK IT DOES ACTUALLY.

>>I THINK IT DOES ACTUALLY. >YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG.

>YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG. >>YOU THINK SO?

>>YOU THINK SO? >I DO.

>I DO. >>TELL ME, WHAT IMPRESSES YOU?

>>TELL ME, WHAT IMPRESSES YOU? >I'M IMPRESSED BY SOMEONE

>I'M IMPRESSED BY SOMEONE WHO HOLDS MY ATTENTION.

WHO HOLDS MY ATTENTION. >>HA!

>>HA! SO, YOU ADMIT YOU'RE EASILY

SO, YOU ADMIT YOU'RE EASILY DISTRACTED.

DISTRACTED. >SHIT.

>SHIT. NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. I MEAN SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME

I MEAN SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH OR WHO I DON'T HAVE TO

LAUGH OR WHO I DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE COMPLETELY

PRETEND TO BE COMPLETELY INTERESTED IN.

INTERESTED IN. OR, HOLY SHIT, I'M COMPLETELY

OR, HOLY SHIT, I'M COMPLETELY SELF-ABSORBED.

SELF-ABSORBED. BUT WE ALL ARE, AREN'T WE?

BUT WE ALL ARE, AREN'T WE? I MEAN DON'T WE ALL JUST

I MEAN DON'T WE ALL JUST REALLY CARE ABOUT OURSELVES?

REALLY CARE ABOUT OURSELVES? >>NOT NECESSARILY.

>>NOT NECESSARILY. I MEAN THERE'S PEOPLE WHO GO

I MEAN THERE'S PEOPLE WHO GO TO THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES AND

TO THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES AND HELP POVERTY STRICKEN CHILDREN

HELP POVERTY STRICKEN CHILDREN LEARN TO READ OR HELP BUILD

LEARN TO READ OR HELP BUILD HOMES AFTER EARTHQUAKES,

HOMES AFTER EARTHQUAKES, SHIT LIKE THAT.

>I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SPEW THAT ALTRUISTIC BULLSHIT.

THAT ALTRUISTIC BULLSHIT. THEY DON'T GO THERE

THEY DON'T GO THERE TO BUILD A HOUSE.

TO BUILD A HOUSE. THEY GO THERE SO WHEN THEY GET

THEY GO THERE SO WHEN THEY GET BACK THEY CAN TELL EVERYONE

BACK THEY CAN TELL EVERYONE ABOUT HOW THEY BUILT A HOUSE.

ABOUT HOW THEY BUILT A HOUSE. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE BETTER THAN

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE OR SOME SHIT.

EVERYONE ELSE OR SOME SHIT. >>MY GOD YOU'RE CYNICAL.

>>MY GOD YOU'RE CYNICAL. >AND YOU AREN'T?

>AND YOU AREN'T? >>WELL, I PREFER DISENCHANTED.

>>WELL, I PREFER DISENCHANTED. >DISENCHANTED?

>DISENCHANTED? >>YES.

>>YES. >BY WHAT?

>BY WHAT? >>EVERYTHING.

>>EVERYTHING. >YOU'RE MOCKING ME.

>YOU'RE MOCKING ME. >>I AM, BUT IN GOOD FUN.

>>I AM, BUT IN GOOD FUN. >AND WAS IT?

>AND WAS IT? >>WHAT?

>>WHAT? >FUN?

>FUN? >>WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE,

>>WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, BUT NOW I'M SENSING IT MIGHT

BUT NOW I'M SENSING IT MIGHT NOT END SO WELL.

NOT END SO WELL. >IT MIGHT NOT.

>IT MIGHT NOT. >>LOOK, I WAS ONLY KIDDING.

>>LOOK, I WAS ONLY KIDDING. >WHATEVER.

>WHATEVER. IT'S FINE.

IT'S FINE. I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE

I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU CAN INSULT

THINGS WHERE YOU CAN INSULT YOURSELF, BUT YOU NEVER REALLY

YOURSELF, BUT YOU NEVER REALLY BELIEVE IT UNTIL YOU HEAR IT

BELIEVE IT UNTIL YOU HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE.

FROM SOMEONE ELSE. I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP HIDING

I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP HIDING BEHIND SARCASM AND IRONY

BEHIND SARCASM AND IRONY AND MOCK SINCERITY.

AND MOCK SINCERITY. I HIDE FROM REAL EMOTIONS

I HIDE FROM REAL EMOTIONS OR I HIDE FROM TALKING ABOUT

OR I HIDE FROM TALKING ABOUT THEM BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF THE

THEM BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF THE EMBARRASSMENT OR SELF-LOATHING

EMBARRASSMENT OR SELF-LOATHING IT COULD CAUSE.

IT COULD CAUSE. IT'S AS IF I'M AFRAID TO TAKE

IT'S AS IF I'M AFRAID TO TAKE MYSELF SERIOUSLY.

MYSELF SERIOUSLY. AND SOMETIMES I HATE MYSELF

AND SOMETIMES I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT.

FOR THAT. PEOPLE ARE CHEESY EVERY DAY

PEOPLE ARE CHEESY EVERY DAY AND THEY DON'T CARE.

AND THEY DON'T CARE. THEY GUSH ABOUT PUPPIES AND

THEY GUSH ABOUT PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS AND THEY LIKE IT.

RAINBOWS AND THEY LIKE IT. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DON'T KNOW

I MEAN MAYBE THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE BEING CHEESY.

THEY'RE BEING CHEESY. THEY THINK OF IT AS BEING

THEY THINK OF IT AS BEING DEEP, BUT MAYBE THEY DO

DEEP, BUT MAYBE THEY DO REALIZE IT AND THEY DO IT

REALIZE IT AND THEY DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY

ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY WANT TO FEEL.

WANT TO FEEL. AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT

AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK ABOUT THAT.

PEOPLE WILL THINK ABOUT THAT. THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I WISH

THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I WISH I COULD JUST BE ONE OF THEM

I COULD JUST BE ONE OF THEM SMILING AT A RAINBOW.

>>I'VE BEEN UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB TO EMOTION FOR

NUMB TO EMOTION FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW.

QUITE SOME TIME NOW. >DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU SICK?

>DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU SICK? >>SOMETIMES WHEN I REALLY

>>SOMETIMES WHEN I REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

THINK ABOUT IT. >AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU DO THAT?

>AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU DO THAT? >>I THINK YOU KNOW.

>>I THINK YOU KNOW. >I DO.

>I DO. SAY IT ANYWAY.

SAY IT ANYWAY. >>CONSTANTLY.

>ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, MY FRIEND. >>WHAT IF WE START NOW?

>>WHAT IF WE START NOW? YOU AND ME.

YOU AND ME. WE'LL BE EMOTIONAL

WE'LL BE EMOTIONAL AND HONEST ALL THE TIME.

AND HONEST ALL THE TIME. >WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

>WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? >>I'M SAYING WE DECIDE TO MAKE

>>I'M SAYING WE DECIDE TO MAKE SOME SORT OF TRUE EFFORT TO BE

SOME SORT OF TRUE EFFORT TO BE CLICHED FILLED WITH HONESTY

CLICHED FILLED WITH HONESTY AND EMOTION AND WE AGREE,

AND EMOTION AND WE AGREE, YOU AND ME, TO SMILE

YOU AND ME, TO SMILE AND TO SING AND TO BELIEVE

AND TO SING AND TO BELIEVE AND WE DITCH OUR CYNICISM

AND WE DITCH OUR CYNICISM AND WE'RE HAPPY

AND WE'RE HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND WE THROW AWAY

ALL THE TIME AND WE THROW AWAY OUR NEED TO BE TRAGIC BECAUSE

OUR NEED TO BE TRAGIC BECAUSE TRAGEDY DOESN'T GO WELL WITH

TRAGEDY DOESN'T GO WELL WITH THE COLORS OF OUR NEW SELF.

THE COLORS OF OUR NEW SELF. AND EVERY MORNING WE SMILE

AND EVERY MORNING WE SMILE BECAUSE WE'RE ALIVE, AND WE'RE

BECAUSE WE'RE ALIVE, AND WE'RE YOUNG AND WE'RE OPEN AND

YOUNG AND WE'RE OPEN AND THERE'S NO ONE WHO'S

THERE'S NO ONE WHO'S GOING TO STOP US.

GOING TO STOP US. >EXCEPT MAYBE OURSELVES.

>EXCEPT MAYBE OURSELVES. >>VALID CONCERN.

>>VALID CONCERN. >I THINK I HATE US.

>I THINK I HATE US. >>LET'S KILL US OFF.

>>LET'S KILL US OFF. >SHOULD WE?

>SHOULD WE? >>WE'LL PUT AN END TO OUR

>>WE'LL PUT AN END TO OUR SELF-INFLICTED MISERY.

SELF-INFLICTED MISERY. >I LIKE THAT.

>I LIKE THAT. >>IN OUR PLACE WE'LL LIVE OUR

>>IN OUR PLACE WE'LL LIVE OUR NEW SELF.

NEW SELF. >BUT HOW DO WE GET RID OF US?

>BUT HOW DO WE GET RID OF US? >>GOING TO NEED A CHARIOT.

♪ MUSIC >GET ON.

>GET ON. READY?

[SCREAMING] [WATER SPLASHING]

[WATER SPLASHING]

♪ MUSIC

>GINGER ALE FOR THE LADY. >>I'D ADORE A GINGER ALE.

WHAT DOES OUR THOUGHT PROCESS HAVE TO BE SO RANDOM?

HAVE TO BE SO RANDOM? >WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >>WELL, I'M DRINKING THIS

>>WELL, I'M DRINKING THIS GINGER ALE, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST

GINGER ALE, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST DRINK A GINGER ALE.

DRINK A GINGER ALE. SUDDENLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT

SUDDENLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT THIS GINGER ALE AFFECTS ME.

THIS GINGER ALE AFFECTS ME. >TELL ME.

>TELL ME. >>IT'S NOTHING REALLY.

>>IT'S NOTHING REALLY. >LOOK AT THE CART.

>LOOK AT THE CART. WE AGREED.

>>GINGER ALE MAKES ME THINK OF MY GRANDMA.

SHE USED TO POUR A LITTLE INTO HER WATER.

HER WATER. IT WAS ABOUT ONE QUARTER

IT WAS ABOUT ONE QUARTER GINGER ALE AND THREE QUARTERS

GINGER ALE AND THREE QUARTERS WATER.

WATER. THAT'S HOW SHE DRANK IT.

AND THEN IT GETS REALLY RANDOM.

RANDOM. DO YOU BELIEVE IN

DO YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION?

REINCARNATION? >CAN'T REALLY SAY THAT I DO.

>CAN'T REALLY SAY THAT I DO. >>YEAH, ME NEITHER.

>>YEAH, ME NEITHER. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I THINK OF

EXCEPT FOR WHEN I THINK OF MY GRANDMA.

MY GRANDMA. >YEAH?

>YEAH? >>YEAH.

I ALWAYS FELT LIKE SHE KNEW ME BEFORE THERE WAS A ME TO KNOW,

BEFORE THERE WAS A ME TO KNOW, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW? LIKE WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WOULD

LIKE WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WOULD CATCH HER LOOKING AT ME

CATCH HER LOOKING AT ME IN THIS WAY, AND I WOULD JUST

IN THIS WAY, AND I WOULD JUST SMILE AT HER, JUST HAPPY

SMILE AT HER, JUST HAPPY WITHOUT THOUGHT AND MAYBE

WITHOUT THOUGHT AND MAYBE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LOVE, BUT

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LOVE, BUT WHEN I REMEMBER THAT LOOK SHE

WHEN I REMEMBER THAT LOOK SHE WAS NOT LOOKING THROUGH ME,

WAS NOT LOOKING THROUGH ME, BUT INSIDE OF ME TO ANOTHER

BUT INSIDE OF ME TO ANOTHER PART OF ME.

PART OF ME. I LIKE TO BELIEVE SHE WAS

I LIKE TO BELIEVE SHE WAS THINKING OF THE ME I WOULD

THINKING OF THE ME I WOULD BECOME.

BECOME. LIKE SHE KNEW WHO THAT WAS

LIKE SHE KNEW WHO THAT WAS BECAUSE SHE HAD SEEN IT

BECAUSE SHE HAD SEEN IT BEFORE.

BEFORE. SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR ME.

SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR ME. I GUESS I JUST FELT LIKE WE

I GUESS I JUST FELT LIKE WE KNEW EACH OTHER FOR MORE THAN

KNEW EACH OTHER FOR MORE THAN THE TIME WE HAD TOGETHER.

THE TIME WE HAD TOGETHER. WE WERE CONNECTED WITHOUT

WE WERE CONNECTED WITHOUT EFFORT FOR LONGER

EFFORT FOR LONGER THAN I CAN REMEMBER.

THAN I CAN REMEMBER. SO, MAYBE THERE REALLY ARE

SO, MAYBE THERE REALLY ARE THESE OTHER LIVES THAT WE LIVE

THESE OTHER LIVES THAT WE LIVE AND WE SEE PEOPLE AGAIN.

AND WE SEE PEOPLE AGAIN. OR MAYBE IT'S JUST ME LEANING

OR MAYBE IT'S JUST ME LEANING ON MYSTICISM BECAUSE I CAN'T

ON MYSTICISM BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT

STAND THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BEING WEAK.

MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BEING WEAK. >WELL, DON'T SAY THAT.

>>YOU KNOW, I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE INSTANCE

A SINGLE INSTANCE OF HER YELLING AT ME

OF HER YELLING AT ME OR GETTING ANGRY AT ME EVER.

OR GETTING ANGRY AT ME EVER. SHE WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME AND

SHE WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME AND I WOULD FEEL DISAPPOINTMENT

I WOULD FEEL DISAPPOINTMENT POURING FROM HER EYES BECAUSE

POURING FROM HER EYES BECAUSE SHE KNEW THERE

SHE KNEW THERE WAS BETTER IN ME.

AND THIS IS ME CRYING. >HOW IS IT?

>HOW IS IT? >>WELL, I MEAN I'M CRYING.

>>WELL, I MEAN I'M CRYING. I DON'T REALLY CRY

I DON'T REALLY CRY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.

>THAT WAS A NUGGET FOR ME.

CAN I TELL YOU THAT WAS A NUGGET OF YOU THAT I WANT TO

NUGGET OF YOU THAT I WANT TO KEEP?

KEEP? WRAP IT UP, SAVE IT IN

WRAP IT UP, SAVE IT IN A LITTLE BOX.

ONE THAT'S SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN MY POCKET.

TO FIT IN MY POCKET. IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU?

IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU? >>IF YOU WANT.

>>IF YOU WANT. >I DO.

>I DO. MADE ME BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD

MADE ME BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD BELIEVE IN MYSTICISM.

BELIEVE IN MYSTICISM. BELIEVING IN MYSTICISM DOESN'T

BELIEVING IN MYSTICISM DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A BAD THING.

HAVE TO BE A BAD THING. IT DOESN'T.

IT DOESN'T. I DESPERATELY WANT TO BELIEVE

I DESPERATELY WANT TO BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A SECRET TO WORLD

THAT THERE'S A SECRET TO WORLD JUST SO THAT I KNOW IT EXISTS

JUST SO THAT I KNOW IT EXISTS AND I WILL LOVE IT WITHOUT

AND I WILL LOVE IT WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING WHAT IT IS I'M

REALLY KNOWING WHAT IT IS I'M LOVING JUST SO I CAN BREATHE

LOVING JUST SO I CAN BREATHE IT IN, YOU KNOW?

IT IN, YOU KNOW? DO YOU KNOW?

DO YOU KNOW? >>I'D LIKE TO.

>>I'D LIKE TO. >I THINK YOU DO,

>I THINK YOU DO, UNCONSCIOUSLY.

UNCONSCIOUSLY. IS THAT POSSIBLE?

>>WHO ARE YOU?

NO, REALLY. WHO ARE YOU?

>I DON'T KNOW.

>>I DON'T EITHER.

>WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE SOON.

LEAVE SOON. >>YEAH, SOON.

I LIKE YOU.

>YEAH? >>YEAH.

>>YEAH. THAT WAS REALLY HARD

THAT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SAY.

>I LIKE YOU TOO.

♪ MUSIC CAPTIONED BY GIGECAST

CAPTIONED BY GIGECAST ♪ MUSIC