Original subtitles

Croatian Cinematheque presents

It's not exactly cool, but it's not expensive either.

You'll manage somehow. Huh?

And your company isn't bad either.

What's your name?

We should get to know each other.

Filip. This is my ninth apartment in Zagreb.

Let me know when you reach number 10 and I'll organize the music.

I'm Mi�o. My friend Elvira.

We also have a nice view.

If you stand up on a chair, you can even see the Sava.

I've had enough of the Sava. I row there every morning with a friend of mine.

ACCIDENTAL LIFE

Written by

Directed by

You little peasant girl...

If you only knew what's going on inside my head...

Krka fell apart. - Guys from Mornar are out of shape.

The others should just be wiped...

And all that for a trip abroad and a couple of days off... Some incentive! We're into wrong kind of sport!

Rowing is only for the elite... - For college students, that is.

OK, for college drop-outs...

Guys, guys...

You won't get far like this...

Filip Pisarevi.

Mr. Jurak, please tell him yourself.

We're adult men and we can talk openly. Please tell him.

Do you still do it with your Pepica...? You understand, right?

Stanko, Stanko... - Did you hear that?

We're young men and we're not getting any. You understand, Mr. Jurak?

You know what's going on inside my head when we row?

I see a hot chick instead of him in the boat.

Just don't believe it. - Don't worry, man.

Listen, we can't go on like this.

Office, practice, practice, office... We need some air, man.

But when Mr. Jurak was young... We better not mention Pepica...

Let's see...

Well, this is OK.

What are you doing here? This is completely OK.

Look at all these women around you. Sheer beauty.

Trust me. I only spent a year studying, but I aced in aesthetics.

Naturally beautiful, artistically beautiful...

Hegel, Aristotel, Marx, Engels and others...

Perfect, man. You know it all. - Of course. We get two nice easy lays,

it's Saturday, tomorrow's Sunday... - They were nice last weekend too.

What? You want to say that I take witches on dates?

You're kidding me! OK, let's go out with chicks that you'll find...

Palivoda.

Where have you been? We'll put out an APB for you soon.

Don't leave before you get this done for me.

How's your practice going?

We want results.

Man, I've got an idea.

Let's find two easy lays and go out tonight.

No problem. Right away.

Look at that chick over there. She's fine, huh?

Let's take her and another one. First to some nice place, huh?

Ladies, let me introduce you to my best friend, a great guy,

best stroker from 1945 to date. In six years time he'll become

deputy chief of department. I present you a great lover.

To sum it up, Filip, Iva, Branka.

Take a seat. You must be tired as well.

You see what a great guy he is. - You're telling novels about me.

Say something about the ladies. - You can see for yourself.

Our company's pearls. Our hopes. Their whole department was rewarded.

Fantastic. They're going on a trip to Hungary to show Hungarians

how far we've come. - Come with us. - We'll be rowing meantime.

He's crazy about sports.

My sweetheart from seventh grade actually loved him.

I've been so sad ever since.

Gifts for the kids.

What about you?

Beatles-style gimmicks! - Why? It's so cute!

I already... - And I will tell you... A great story.

I know you too. - And I know you.

Our company is big, but not so big that I can't remember all the faces.

But I don't mean to say that I know you like all the other faces.

I'd have noticed you if I'd seen you somewhere else.

But I'm sure you don't need compliments.

You know you're good looking. - It's always nice to hear that.

When you said that you knew me, I remembered something.

You know, people sometimes live together without even knowing it.

And only when they go somewhere else and reach another existence,

they remember they know each other.

And that's really funny.

I'm telling you, a guy from the company and me,

we met each other every day. We'd pass each other every day,

we'd meet at the bar, we'd enter the company building sometimes

and sometimes met when leaving, but we never said hello.

We saw each other as pieces of inventory.

As a table or a bar downstairs.

Besides, it's normal that we don't say hello to each other.

And then, one day we saw each other on the street and said hello.

As acquaintances. Strange, isn't it?

You're just as I imagined you.

Clever, slightly sad,

you always look slightly sad in the bar.

And you notice something like that? Who'd be happy in that bar?

He's looking at me and I'm eyeing him...

He's a gorilla. Beard, moustache, hairy.

I take a leak, or should I say, do a number one...

And I ask the towel-lady at the Gradska kavana,

how's it going, dear?

She says, bad, my son, bad.

Pissing is free and you can't live off of shit.

Eavesdropping, you two? - Not at all. I'm going to get matches for Iva.

OK, then I'll take care of her.

That lady is the Central theatre towel-lady's aunt.

A box of matches.

Here you are. - Thank you. - You're welcome.

And the guy was right. Toilets reflect the nation.

Thank you, I already got it. - The lengths you go to

just to see each other, that's phenomenal. - Most probably.

Let's see what those guys prepared for us.

Good evening, safe players,

always the same kind of lunatics...

Kerempuh greets you, a savage, hooligan and a vagabond.

Kerempuh's parade is on,

and excuse me, what does a man know about chocolate?

Branka says Stanko used to go to college.

Yes. He got an A in esthetics.

You remembered his story? - What story?

You know what he was talking about. - No, I don't. -Don't tease me.

About toilets.

Oh yes, I remember, he told me that.

Your story is different.

Just don't ask ''what story?''.

That's it. An insignificant moment.

But you told it nicely.

I remembered one of my acquaintances. Actually, I met several people like this.

I'm so glad you told me that story.

Why don't you come to Budapest? - Stanko and I weren't rewarded.

Lousy department.

It was nice. Thank you.

I hope we'll go out again some time.

Don't I stand a chance? - Everybody does.

Good night. - Good night.

Yes?

Man, got any coffee?

It's the famous Mendelsohn.

If he doesn't hurry up, he'll break his own record.

Filip's coming. - Five seconds...

4... 2...

See, I told you! A new record!

Mr. Jurak, when you were young, I'm sure you were late sometimes.

Me? Never.

Forty years of service and I never came in late.

I couldn't have been late for work today. It's good that he came.

Today's a commemoration.

What commemoration?

Exactly 20 years ago a man died a heroic death.

Before integration, this institution bore his name.

Comrade Ivo...

Good morning.

Gentlemen, in this room there's a man this company can't do without.

Is that so? - And that is me.

This company can't do without me. - And why is that, Stanko?

Well? Tell Mr. Jurak! Why is that?

Because, when I'm 5 minutes late, everybody's screaming makes me sick!

You're 45 minutes late today. Of course they're angry.

My dear dupe, it doesn't matter if you're 5 or 45 minutes late.

You still haven't realized that no one works the first hour in this company.

And that's not it. They're angry because I'm not afraid to be late.

Because I didn't shit myself after the first warning.

And because I'm 45 minutes late and not 45 minutes early. That's it.

And if they're honest, the angry ones would be...

Dear, ask the angry one whatever you want to know.

Come on. Ask, dear.

What's this nervousness, dear?

- Don't... - I have a reason. - No, you don't. You're late.

Filip, you're a settled guy. Tell your friend not to be angry.

He's not angry. But you shouldn't be either.

It's not so bad.

Of course. Nothing's ever so bad.

Stanko, be reasonable. Is it really so hard to get up earlier?

Yes, I wanted to bring something to your attention.

Stay away from girls from this company. - Why should we?

Stanko... - Gossip! Who can forbid us to... - It's not about that.

You'll be safest if you stay away from the in-house chicks.

You can find them elsewhere. - Palivoda, what do you want?

I wanted to tell you something else, but Stanko's anger confused me.

He's angry even though he's at fault.

OK, have it your way. We won't talk about it anymore today.

Happy?.

I hear you're much more diligent at rowing than at work. I'm glad.

If you win the trials, you're sure to get ten days off.

And if we rank low?

Then you'll be forced to come to work more regularly, my dear.

Look at the way you stand!

Me? Well...

Sit down. Do you have to stand like a statue in front of everybody?

Comrade Ivo Verdi�, whose name is born by one of our plants.

I ask you to hold a minute of silence for a great fighter

and a revolutionary.

Give it to me...

You ape. - Stop playing tough guy.

It's short... - Watch it, heel! - Now! Attack him!

Save it! Watch out!

May his memory live!

Stanko, what's playing at Jazavac? - Ask your Valika, she knows.

Why do you provoke them? - Who, me? They're teasing me!

I just mildly talk back to them.

You're worrying me. You're being too nice to them.

- Aren't you, my dear? - Bye. - Bye.

It happens to me too. - We row today.

Of course. We don't do anything else.

Guys have challenged us. Be on time.

Man, we can teach those guys a thing or two.

Guys! Not with these! Use some grease!

You get a hundred... You have a great score...

But no more hundreds... It's a rip-off.

But you can get a free game. - But no hundreds, get it?

I can only play. That's not fair.

Nothing happened to us until we turned 30.

And after that, there's no future for us, you know?

That's our situation, you know?

You always have a month in front of you.

Then two months, three months...

Then 18 months of military service, and you're back in your rented room.

And in the same room at the office.

And then you wait for your vacation.

Then you have only two days left of your vacation.

Then months pass and you wait, and then some more months...

Do you know where we're rowing to? - Doctors, how are you doing?

10 dinars. - 10 dinars... Come on.

My respects! You're so fine!

Say Hi to the folks at home!

I told you half of my life and you're as mute as a fish.

Two coffees? - Of course. - What should I tell you?

There's nothing interesting.

Something like a man without a star.

I saw it in a movie... Not bad, not bad at all.

Maybe not.

Yes?

I'm sorry. I'm sure Mi�o will forget to bring coffee.

Here you are. - Thank you.

I can offer you only milk.

Mi�o should do more sport. He says you practice a lot.

Yes, lately.

You like sport so much? - Not even close to how much you love music.

There... Mi�o likes it. - So you learned to like it.

I didn't mean... - Do you want me to make one for you?

No, thank you. Some other time.

Excuse me for interrupting.

Thank you.

OK, why me...? - I really don't stand a chance?

But, Filip, there are so many movies...

I'd like to take you to see one.

For the last time. - So I have to think about it.

Try.

Pass some milk over here!

We want the happening! - What about the happening?

I want the refund! - This has nothing to do with the happening!

We want the happening!

This is crummy.

Quiet, honey. Happenings requires concentration.

You'll get fat! - Leave some for me!

- Same thing happened in Vienna. - Where?

No, in Copenhagen.

But I wonder why she throws rice of all things...

Come on, what is this?

This is so-called naive art.

I'm sure you know about those peasants of ours.

I'm most thrilled about the efficiency and conciseness of expression.

Really makes no sense anymore. - Come on, it's pure sound in music.

Man, there's more feathers here than in l Even Met Happy Gypsies!.

This is what they call opening up of the form in art.

Stanko's tardiness chart

There he is!

It's not so bad today. - He decided to get better.

He'll never be like you.

He'll be late to his own funeral.

Now what?

Come in.

Come here, chicken!

Great. I like this better than James Bond. - I'm glad you like it.

I really do.

And you? - I don't.

But it's so nice, so free.

You see, after seeing this movie, I'm so happy to be going to Budapest.

That's irrelevant. An illusion.

I felt like a fool.

Like I was being taken on tour around the gimmick factory.

I can't understand those guys. - But the gimmicks are good!

Yes, but that's what rotten about it!

You like serious movies?

No. There's one about the guy who wants to travel,

but keeps ending up in the same spot.

You have to be patient because of my proposition.

I wanted to say that we should... - Call each other by our first names.

We could have done that back in Jazavac.

You're always complicating!

OK, let's try one more time.

But now by the book.

She can really hold her drink.

There's something else that goes well with drinks.

Snot-noses are all over the city.

My respects, doctor! How are you doing?

Regards, young lady! - I wasted my whole fortune on you, my friend.

The important thing is that you have one.

Just a moment, young lady.

My respects, doctor! Regards, young lady!

Your friend is gallant. - I keep only the best company.

Wasn't that Stanko? Your friend.

He'd drag us along somewhere.

You're worried he might be angry if he saw you with me again.

No one can ever see him with the same girl twice.

Especially if it's a girl from the company.

You're wrong. I wanted us to be alone.

Doesn't matter.

The landlord is torturing his record player.

Watch out!

Now you don't want to be seen with me.

You're wrong.

Move, Jurak!

Great! I haven't had so much fun in a very long time.

Imagine how it'll be in Budapest then. - It can't happen twice.

You're just the couple we're looking for.

We only have to find a nice spot.

Here we are. Just a moment.

This is good.

Good. Lower one, absolutely.

Pan upwards... That's it.

More. Good.

Why not Budapest too?

Now let me see you...

Let me fit you in now. Stand here. That's it...

It's no good. No good.

Please, turn towards me.

Welcome, dear visitors.

Will you tell us where you're from?

I get it, you met here. You must be from the back country.

Pan up... Great! Congratulations!

Here we have visitors most indebted to Zagreb Fair.

Let's start...

You have to sacrifice something... Are you going?

I don't know.

You always have dangerous ideas.

Were they bad until now? - I didn't say bad, but dangerous.

Strange. He's not coming...

Well done, Pepica. At her age! Well done!

Nice. First me, then Jurak... You're probably next.

And what's that supposed to mean?

I understand you, my man, I completely understand you.

Going out, movies, cafes, walks, romantic mood...

You don't have to apologize to me!

I'll have some sympathy for your tardiness.

What? Late... me?

When was it that I came in late?

You never did, but you will.

Don't worry, I'll understand. - Stanko, please don't...

I wouldn't, but trials are coming up and we must be physically

and mentally ready. We shouldn't waste energy.

Stanko, stop fucking around with me! - I'm not!

I just want to let you know that everybody knows about your idyll.

Some people saw you at the movies and some in the city.

And everybody knows you took to your heels at the fair.

And that the two of you became TV actors.

You aren't serious about her, are you? - What if I am?

And what if I don't care what you think about it?

I brought Iva to Jazavac. I introduced you to her.

And you know too well what kind of girls I take on dates.

That's my business! What's it to you?

It sure is something! Look at all the women in this company.

Apart from oldies, all the others are the same!

Oh, my God! What do you take me for? You're so clever and witty!

And serious! It's all tricks, my man. All of them wait for a wink

from some director. Sexual corruption! And all the trips!

Privately to Virovitica and collectively to Budapest.

It's all a scam! Little Red Riding Hood, can I get a piece of...

I've had it with your advice! I don't want to know! Really!

And what could you tell me?

You know what? There's one flaw in our acquaintanceship.

That's the fact that we row early in the morning, before work.

At the end of our practice I start to believe that you're somebody,

that you want to win the race, I don't know, anything!

Then we come here and you keep telling me that you're nobody,

that you don't care and that our practice was a mistake.

It makes me want to throw up! Understand?

It makes you want to throw up, OK.

I know too well that I'm no saint, even without you.

There's only one thing I don't get.

OK, I'm sometimes sick of myself.

I don't get what does it have to do with me?

We weren't talking about me, but about something completely different.

What is it, boys?

It's only half an hour.

Jurak, what's going on with you? First Stanko and now you.

How long will this room make a mockery of this company?.

Unfortunately, I haven't traveled much even though I enjoy it.

I like big cities, walks around unknown streets,

having coffee in bars, foreign women...

I like travelling by myself.

That's right.

But I'm still sorry I won't be going to Budapest with you.

While we're slaving here, they're having fun in Budapest.

That girl of yours is there too?

You really care about her.

No Mi�o, no music.

Did he leave a message for me? - No, he didn't.

Please tell him I went for a walk.

Wait in my room. He always comes around this time.

The best chair in the room.

I can tell you that I envy you.

I dreamt as a kid of spending my youth in a room, alone and independent.

Do you ever keep company here? - Yes, sometimes.

But I can't offer them anything special. - So what?

Nothing. Then I have to suggest for them to find other company

or they do it without my suggestion. - You're kidding!

I'm sure they always stay. - You think? Let's drink to that.

Some milk.

You can even make coffee.

Who is it? - Mi�o. May I?

I'm naked! - Have you seen Elvira?

No, I haven't.

That must be the famous Mendelsohn.

How am I going to get there now?

There? Why? - I'm sure he knows I'm here.

Of course not. Calm down.

We went to Zagreb Fair and met two young people.

They still don't know our cameras are shooting them.

ln just a moment, we'll approach them

and ask them a series of questions next to the Krka stand.

You've been out quite a while.

I've been waiting to thank you for keeping Elvira company.

- Don't mention it. - Don't mention it?

How modest of him... Wait!

Wait...

I have to thank you... - Let go!

Why don't you understand? I have to thank you.

You'll come back...

Uncivilized fool.

Drinks! Drinks for my ladies.

I want to drink with everybody!

- What will you have? - Anything.

Let him go!

What is it, doctor? What happened?

No, no, doctor...

You'll need it.

The other one's without permanent residence.

Enough of these lame excuses! Your ticket, please!

Do you have one or not!?

What is it?!

Let me go, Stanko...

There you are...

Do you have the ticket? - What are you doing to him?

You say you were ill.

You know how we deal with employees who don't come to work for a week.

I know.

First Stanko with his being late,

then death of this... - Jurak.

Damn it, you could have let us know you were ill.

We went to your house, but we were told all kinds of stories.

My dear, this won't work. There is an order.

Without Palivoda's assurances that you're an honest and hard-working man,

I wouldn't have any doubts about it.

This way you get another chance. On your own responsibility.

I can tell you're sorry.

We'll deduct these seven days from your vacation, if you win.

Palivoda, what's going on with these young men?

They're soft as cotton. - Don't worry, director.

They'll calm down soon.

So, what happened?

OK, man, OK.

He said what he had to say and now it's peaceful again.

Guys, there's no point in talking about idiots.

What happened to the old man?

Heart.

Guys, I can see there are some fine chicks around here.

It'd be fair if you introduced me.

How about a triple date? Huh?

We're speeding up. - OK, to the hilt.

Man, we're winning!

Now what? - Another one of their stunts.

Where to?

It'll turn out that we have maniacs on our national team.

THE END