Original subtitles

There are times in life where we have to choose to act

or not. The higher the stakes, the harder the choice.

- No! No! - Nurses face that every day.

No! No! Please don't do it, sir!

Let's talk a bit.

My name's Wolf. What's your name?

Tenzin. I came here for a final breath of fresh air.

Right, Tenzin. Please step off. Okay?

- Come on. - My goodness,

what is that?

How wonderful

to get such an omen.

What a beautiful day to die.

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

You're in pediatrics. You're in oncology. Ashley! Hit the ER.

Thanks for joining us, Miss Knight. Morning mani-pedi, was it?

Get to neuro. Naz and Dimples are support nurses for the day.

And Wolf...

Bueller? Anyone?

Fine, when he ambles in, tell him he's in ICU.

Go. Sick people don't wait.

- Life. Energy. Thank you. - Good morning!

My name is Grace. I'm gonna be your nurse.

I am happy to say that your X-ray results came back clear.

Looks like you out of the fall unscathed.

However, neurology does want to take a look at you in light of your Parkinson's.

That's a good thing, right?

- You bet it is. - How are you feeling?

Good. I think I just had a fright.

Don't worry. We're gonna take good care of you.

- Hey! - Hey, Mom.

Oh, you look okay for someone who just took a dive.

- I came straight from the airport. - Who are you?

Who is this? Jerry?

I didn't mean to... I... I don't...

- When did she get like this? - Jerry?

We're minions for the day.

- You needed supplies? - Thanks, yeah,

you know, just throw them in the supply closet. Sorry, I'm super busy.

Alright, you guys are good to go.

Just come see us in two weeks. And no more

samurai swordplay with the kitchen knives, okay, kiddo?

Wear this for six weeks, then check back in with us.

Hello, sir. I see from your chart

that you haven't seen us here in a while,

but you are suffering from heroin withdrawal,

so I'm gonna start you on methadone until the doc

- gets a good look at you. - I wasn't meant to be here.

Why am I back here? Why?

Drink this, you'll feel better in a minute.

Right.

You need to rest now, Tenzin.

For what? The long sleep ahead?

You're late. And you weren't in your bed last time I checked.

Well, he was just taking a little bathroom break.

He was transferred to palliative care

because the tumour on his heart is inoperable.

He may only have a few days,

so you're one-on-one with him all shift.

Keep the pain meds flowing and keep oxygen at the ready.

First time in palliative?

Just be there for him. You're his wingman today.

Your job is to keep him calm and happy.

- Okay? - Yeah, alright.

Can you do me an immense favour?

Anything. I'm here for you all day.

I worked in palliative care for many years with my brothers

at the monastery. We used ritual

to travel consciously to death.

I hoped to return home to die, but...

time is not on my side. I will die today.

Hey, you can't... you can't know that for sure.

I have seen it enough to know. The aura of death is upon me.

My brothers will bring ritual tea and I will go on a trip.

- A trip? - Inward.

- Psilocybin is the main ingredient. - Shrooms?

We've used it for centuries, but it's misunderstood here.

Also, you know, it's not legal.

Will you protect me

from interference so that I may have a good death?

Damien. Dr. Reyes

wants to bump Barb Gelson to the top of the imaging line.

She's showing abrupt cognitive decline.

- I'll send word. - What's going on there?

You heard about the merger, right?

They just had a press conference.

Lawyers from the three hospitals are meeting all day

- with the new CEO. - Who's that?

The Chief of Surgery from the General,

Dr. Hamilton.

Didn't you use to work together?

Grace?

Grace, are you all right?

Hi. Yeah, no, of course.

You look like you saw a ghost.

Maybe I did. It's nice to see you.

I haven't seen you since we talked in my office.

I don't know what you're going through,

but if you need to tell me anything,

I'm here and I will support you in any way I can.

You should be the one to make the decision.

- I think I just had a fright. - They were right.

Michael, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened.

- It's okay. - How are you feeling now?

I was just confused for a moment.

I hold space for that. Confused is valid.

- Confused is okay. - Jerry.

- None of this is okay. - Your blood pressure's high.

Has she been taking her Parkinson's meds?

We had concerns about side effects.

Hallucinations, mood swings, body spasms,

so we held off. Right, babe?

Why would you ignore medical advice? Why would you do nothing?

We're doing plenty. Walking, a movement program,

- dance classes... - Dancing?

My god, this is elder abuse.

Some people do hold off to medicate early Parkinson's.

In certain cases, the efficacy can wear off over time.

We were waiting till it was necessary.

- Well, we're way past that point. - That's up to Barb.

I need some fresh air.

Mom, would you like anything from the caf�?

Let's get you up to imaging.

The brain scans will help you decide the next best steps.

What's the effect of the magnetism in the MRI?

Is it like radio waves in cell phones? Aren't they harmful?

- Is it dangerous? - No.

Not at all. It measures the structure of the brain,

like a CT, but it allows us to see function,

all of which will help us give you the information that you need.

When is the neurologist expected?

I wanted to discuss with him the neuroplasticity work we've been doing.

Oh, you're a doctor?

No, no, no, no.

I think of myself as more of an explorer,

an advocate for alternative approaches.

I mean, there's great stuff on YouTube. You'd be surprised.

I have paged Dr. Reyes.

He will be in to help answer any questions you may have.

Hey.

Oh! Hey!

I... I wasn't looking you up.

- Okay. I believe you. - I wasn't.

Okay, good. I mean,

- I know it might seem that way... - Not at all.

- Yeah, 'cause I wasn't. Good. - Understood.

Uh, did you want something?

Okay, kiddo, let's go. What do you know?

Stayed at a buddy's last night and drank this.

Bourbon mint liqueur in mud?

- It's called alcohol poisoning. - Yeah. Apparently she went AWOL.

Her friends called 911 when she went unconscious in a park.

Seems like she's coming out the other side now, but...

- you know. - What's going on? Where am I?

You're safe. You're at St. Mary's Hospital.

No. No, I can't be here.

My mom... You can't tell my mom. Sinead.

Sinead O'Rourke. She'll destroy me.

So I had to bring the burglar in. Moron cracked his femur

falling off the balcony. Guy offered a wad of cash

for a private room, though. I'm in the wrong game.

You're giving me ideas, Arlo. Work your own hours, no taxes...

Not sure I'd look good in a ski mask, though.

Hey, uh, I was wondering: You ever get a Saturday night off?

- You okay? - Yeah, uh...

Would you look at all this? I'm so behind with my schedules.

- Okay, uh, should I let you get back to it? - Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Uh, we'll be back

to take that guy downtown once you fixed him up.

- Have a good one. - 'Kay.

- Sinead, hey, look, I need... - Hang on a sec.

Hamilton's already sent three henchmen over,

asking for spare rooms for meetings... Spare?

So I'm supposed to sacrifice patient space

so they can talk merger mumbo-jumbo?

Get a room in a hotel. Can you go and tell them that?

I'm not doing your dirty work. Anyway, God has spoken.

Dr. Hamilton? From the General?

- Yeah, our new CEO. - He hasn't been here 5 minutes,

he's already a giant pain in my ass.

You wanted to tell me something?

Yeah, uh...

I'll get back to you.

Hey. Did you hear about the new CEO?

- What are you gonna do? - What do you want me to do?

Nothing, just... Are you okay?

Hey, look, I know we're not tight,

but I want you to know I've got your back.

Whatever you need.

Mostly, I just need to escape.

I can't help you with that, but I might know some people.

Hey. I thought I might run into you.

Kabir? What are you doing here?

Uh, we're meeting your lawyers all day.

- Why haven't you answered any... - I've just been busy, that's all.

Hey, um, I've got a break coming up.

Maybe we can get together?

Storage closet, 7th floor, across from imaging. Okay?

Okay, sure.

I got sidelined, so you get a reprieve.

- Please, you can't tell her. - Look, I sympathise, trust me,

I have been there. I drove my family crazy

with this sort of thing, but they are legit insane.

- You don't understand. - Ella,

your mom's been around the block.

I mean, sure, she'll be pissed, but you'll be fine.

It's not me I'm protecting. It's her.

If it comes out that I messed up, that I was here,

there could be serious consequences.

Please, just take my word for it and let me go home.

You're putting me in a tough position.

Please.

Okay, look, I'll hold off saying anything,

but you're staying here until you're feeling better.

Okay, the issue.

A holy man's dying wish: take illegal substances on my watch,

in front of me, until he dies... today.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm sorry, what illegal substances?

Shrooms. It's like a ritual,

preparing for, you know, the end.

- Look, I'm not good with this stuff. - What stuff?

Terminal stuff. And his patient wants to get high.

Isn't that, like, right up your alley?

Okay, it's not the drugs. Sure,

breaking the law isn't totally my jam, but it's the dying part.

I don't know if I can be there when it happens.

You're working in palliative care.

- Oh, I get that it's a problem. - Drugs, okay, let me hear it, my man.

Okay, so he wants to take like this...

magic mushroom tea. It's a spiritual thing.

Okay, well, that could destroy a career. Also, prison.

Yeah, I've heard about those palliative monks.

They know what they're doing, but

it's not illegal if it's religious, right?

- Tell that to the judge. - If it makes the guy happy...

People sneak their own drugs in here all the time, eh?

Yeah, why torture yourself? I mean, you know you're gonna do it.

You always want to make people feel good. So just do it.

Look, I gotta go.

I've got Sinead's kid in the ER with alcohol poisoning

and a supposedly rock-solid reason why not to tell Sinead.

Can you guys keep an eye out for Mommy Dearest and cover me?

Yeah, we got you.

Right?

Minion call.

Okay, so...

Oh, I gotta go.

Here, have that. Hang in there. You'll be fine.

Hey.

Okay, hold on. How are you?

Good. I'm good.

What is going on?

What, you're not in the mood?

Grace, I've missed you.

What's going on, Grace?

What, you don't know how a booty call works?

Of course I do. Jesus.

- Are you angry with me? - No.

Yes.

Maybe. I don't know.

This is the first time that this has felt like...

like an affair. It feels dirty.

Yeah, for you.

Whatever. I gotta go.

Okay, fine.

- The whole situation is messed up. - Yeah, it is.

And guess what? You don't get to have the girlfriend experience

when you've got a fianc�e at home. So for us,

dirty is where it's at.

Well, a little twist in the tale.

It seems that your cognitive lapses were not Parkinson's related.

You suffered a small stroke,

which is probably why you fell down. Now, you can recover from this,

but I'm concerned that your high blood pressure

puts you at risk for another stroke,

so I would like to prescribe some Lisinopril long-term

and get that BP down right now with some hydralazine,

- if you'll get that in the IV. - Hm.

We were hoping to address this issue with diet and exercise.

- And yet here we are. - The stroke came out of nowhere.

- She hasn't been taking care of herself. - That's not true!

Your blocked emotions are distorting your perceptions.

We're all victims of toxic masculinity...

What are you talking about, you washedup hippie piece of...

- You wanna get personal now? - Why does she listen to you?

- I'm her soulmate, Mike. - Don't you call me...

You call me that one more time, I'm gonna punch you right in the face.

- You see? This is what I mean. Toxic... - Enough!

Enough! Out! Out!

Okay.

Just wish my guys could get along.

Mrs. Gelson, I understand

why you held off on the Parkinson's meds,

but would you be willing to try them now?

They might give you some relief.

Who knows what would happen, though?

Side effects and whatnot...

And if you don't like it, we can stop.

I know they prescribed you Lisinopril a year ago.

- I only take it when I feel stressed. - Doesn't really work that way.

You know the great thing about Jerry?

He makes me feel like I'm the same person I always was. Like myself.

Not Parkinson's Lady.

It's true, you aren't your illness

or your blood pressure, but they do require treatment.

So how's it going in here?

Uh, I stabilised him with methadone.

Sorry, I have to administer a painkiller in B12.

Sinead, I'm so sorry to bother you...

We really are. You are so busy.

- We have a patient up on the... - 7th floor.

Yes, and we're not sure, but it looks like he has

- a very severe case of gangrene... - Gas.

- Well, which is it? - Well...

- you see how we're... - Confused.

- Could you take a look? - On the 7th floor.

Tenzin, my friend.

Brother, we must say farewell to our friend.

Three people at our hospice are dying and we are needed.

Tenzin's tea.

I was meant to accompany him on his journey;

will you go in my stead?

Thank you.

Your tea, sir.

Wonderful.

You sure this is okay?

The psilocybin dose is safe.

Your friend said

he was meant to go with you; what did he mean?

Usually, a guide will take the trip with the dying.

But... I'm not afraid to go alone.

No. No.

You shouldn't be alone. I am your wingman.

My brave friend.

Perhaps we were fated to take this journey together.

Is this what we studied years for?

This is harder for me.

My brains define me.

Well, I'm not loving it either. Just keep an eye out for Sinead.

I'm just saying,

Ash shouldn't ask us to lie to Sinead about her daughter being here.

Where? Where is she?

What? Who? Sorry, we were talking about...

- What was I talking about? - Right, uh, she was just saying that...

Tell me the truth right now or you will pay a steep price.

Your daughter came in

with alcohol poisoning, but she begged Ashley.

- Where? - B12.

I'll come back for you.

You're fired.

Go. Get your things. You're done.

I'm on to you.

It looks like it's them fighting over you, stuck in the middle,

but it keeps the spotlight off of you refusing to make choices.

What difference does it make?

- I have a disease with no cure. - Sometimes there isn't a cure.

There's only what we can do now to take care of ourselves.

You have early-stage Parkinson's.

It can advance slowly. You can still have

good quality of life with treatment.

And you also had a stroke, so you need to treat

your high blood pressure, and we can start that right now.

I'm just scared.

I know. Baby steps, okay?

Why don't we try with the hydralazine first?

Hm? What do you say, Mrs. Gelson?

Code blue! Code team, now!

- No pulse. - Starting compressions.

Let's get on the airway.

Prep the paddles, please.

200 joules.

Did she take the hydralazine?

- She almost agreed to it, but... - Too late.

So, uh, what are the next steps?

I'm afraid there are no next steps.

As Dr. Reyes said, she suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke.

She's in a coma and we're not seeing any significant brain function.

At the moment, the life support is keeping her alive.

It's up to the family whether or not to take her off of it.

Well, she stays on the life support.

People come out of comas.

Unfortunately, her condition makes that unlikely.

And if she did come out of it,

it would be with almost no capacity to function.

- We have to let her go. - No.

- I'm her husband, Michael. - And I'm her son, Jerry.

So what are we supposed to do? We have joint power of attorney.

- That's not gonna... No! - Michael, surely we can...

So who decides? A doctor?

Well, we have a consent capacity board

for situations where people can't...

Call them.

It's a really difficult process to go through.

I don't care. Call them.

Is he high yet?

He's getting there. So am I.

What?

I couldn't let him do it alone.

Do you have a career death wish? What are you doing?

Well, he needs me.

And I can... handle myself.

I believe you, man,

but we don't want you to get fired.

That's why you're gonna cover me.

We can try, but I warn you, we have a mixed record on that score.

Why do I feel like I'm working

for the resistance today?

All I'm doing is hiding people and covering their asses.

You guys...

look amazing right now.

Like, so vibrant.

Wow.

This is really happening.

Just... ride it out, bro.

Okay.

Ella?

Hey, you.

Something wrong?

I just got fired.

Okay, I said I didn't date coworkers,

but you didn't have to go that far.

What the hell happened?

It's kind of a long story. Uh...

My boss Sinead's daughter...

You know what? Whatever it is, it's bullshit.

You're good. Let me see your discharge papers.

- I don't have those. - Did you get any paperwork?

Did you even go through HR?

Then you're not fired. Go in there, get your job back.

You can't fire me. I am a great nurse and you know it.

She was trying to protect you

and there is something called patient privacy.

Not for a 14-year-old kid. You need to grow up.

Being a good nurse isn't about being a patient's friend,

it's about giving them the care they need,

and a teenage girl needs her mom.

Kids make mistakes, and you know what? Maybe I did too,

but if you remembered what that's like,

maybe you wouldn't be such a hard-ass.

Those poor people.

Look again.

So much pain...

But so much love.

The magnificent paradox.

We can't have one without the other.

But I'm ready to let it all go.

- Wolf! - So, Damien,

- uh, I need your help. - Time to descend to the underworld!

- Heh, heh! - If I don't get canned first.

Can you try and talk one last time? These mediations

can be cold and clinical. You've been through enough.

- Fine. But you stay. - Barb always said

if she got sick, she didn't want to linger.

Being herself was important to her.

Stubbornly so. It's why she was such a bad patient.

- So this is her fault? - You saying it's mine?

- Guys, um, maybe I should go. - This is...

No, no, no, no, you stay.

You're the worst thing that ever happened to her, Jerry.

No, Michael. I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you.

- We should take a step back. - I'm just saying,

you were her little man and I came along.

You didn't make things easy,

but she never helped us

- figure things out. - And now we never will.

Let the board decide.

It's just right in here.

- What's going on? - Oh!

Oh, it's a consent capacity hearing for my patient.

They're making a decision now.

- Hey. - Sorry, I gotta go.

- You got pulled into this? - Well,

I work consent capacity at the General, so...

yeah.

It's my patient. It's my case.

It's a tough one. I'm sorry.

Grace, we could be more than we are.

It wouldn't be easy,

but I could figure it out.

Is that what you want?

I don't know.

I try to hold on, and I try to let go.

I'm sick of how things are,

but I don't know what to do to fix it.

You should get back.

What is it, friend?

I had, uh, leukemia as a kid,

and uh...

when I was in the children's ward, every few weeks,

a bed would just...

a bed would just suddenly be empty.

Like the kid just...

disappeared.

Do you know how scary that is?

Nobody said anything.

Guess they didn't know how to talk about it.

I was terrified.

And I hate it.

I hate it for what it took

and for what it takes.

How can you be so happy about death?

It's not right.

Not right.

Not wrong.

Not good or bad.

Just another change.

You messed up.

Big time.

But I suppose you get to make mistakes.

Sorry, Mom.

I got your back.

You don't have to be so careful.

Maybe the...

hardest thing about being a mom is realising

that even though you want to,

you can't protect your kids from everything.

Including yourself.

I'm in recovery.

A few years back,

I fell off the wagon and...

lost custody of the kids.

Had to claw them back by being...

bloody perfect.

As if that were possible.

Now they feel they have to do the same.

What are you doing here? Your shift isn't over yet.

The board will have a decision soon.

You know, I've never been in the position that you are now.

But I did have to face something that I didn't ask for.

And no matter what I do, the outcome is...

hard.

But I think it's something I have to face.

Your mom wanted so badly for things to stay the same.

But they can't.

The board is ready.

Grace? Is that you?

- How are you? - Fine. I'm fine.

I just wanted to check in.

It's a shame about what happened at the General,

but everybody makes mistakes. It's just luck of the draw

if they go unnoticed or not. You were unlucky.

But this is a good hospital.

I feel...

honoured to be a part of this merger.

You did well to land here, Grace.

So I hope we're gonna be okay.

What are you looking at?

What are you bloody well looking at?

Are you all right, sir?

What's your name, brother?

Brian Foster.

Professor Brian Foster, father.

What do you want to tell me, son?

We would rather be ruined than changed.

We would rather die in our dread

than climb across the moment

and let our illusions die.

I love Auden too, Professor.

A fine confession.

Mom, uh...

it's me.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay.

And I hope you are, too.

So I guess you got your job back.

Which means we're coworkers again.

Yeah, you know, it was kind of nice when we weren't.

So what are we gonna do?

Boundaries.

Draw a line right here and...

don't cross it.

- What happens if I do? - Hey, I'm serious.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna step over this line

really quickly, okay?

You're beautiful.

Okay, I'm back now.

- Totally professional. - Mm-hmm.

- This is happening, isn't it? - Yeah, it is.

Uh-oh. Am I in trouble again?

Probably. Go on then, ask me out.

- Wanna go out sometime? - Sure.

That was a yes.

Want me to drive?

- I'm just kidding. - Oh...

It's been a wonderful journey.

Will someone please take this thing off my hands?

You know, it kinda... it kinda looks...

How'd it go?

Uh, they ruled for me.

I don't like you.

But you looked after her all these years.

You should be the one to make the decision.

No.

She'd want you to decide.

Yeah, I see now.

We have to let her go.

Dr. Reyes assigned the order.

I will administer pain meds

to Mrs. Gelson

to keep her comfortable,

and then when you are ready, I'll turn off the ventilator.

We would rather be ruined than changed,

but every day we seem to face that choice

over and over again.

Watch an all new Nurses, next Monday on Global.