Original subtitles

>> PREVIOUSLY ON NIP/TUCK...

>> CHRISTIAN TROY.

SEAN McNAMARA, RIGHT?

>> I WAS SEEING THE FUTURE OF

MEDICINE.

>> PLASTIC SURGERY?

>> THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE.

>> TELL ME WHAT YOU DON´T LIKE

ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> MY ASS.

>> MY EYES.

>> MY KNEES.

>> YOUR KNEES?

>> EVERYTHING.

>> YOUR RIGHT EYE IS HALF A

MILLIMETER HIGHER THAN YOUR

LEFT. I´LL GIVE YOU BOTOX HERE

AND HERE. THE BREASTS COULD GO

ONE SIZE BIGGER. AND FINISH OFF

WITH SOME ABDOMINAL LIPO.

>> [INDISTINCT]

>> WOULD YOU HAVE TO FIX

ANYTHING?

>> LIPOSUCTION RIGHT HERE.

NOW, YOUR BOOBS, LIFT THEM JUST

A LITTLE BIT. HERE...AND HERE.

>> YOU ARE A MODEL OF PHYSICAL

PERFECTION.

>> BUT I CAN BE BETTER.

I´VE IDENTIFIED THESE AS MY

PROBLEM AREAS.

DIET? IS THAT WHAT WE TELL THE

20 PEOPLE A WEEK WHO COME IN

HERE? WE´RE IN THE QUICK FIX

BIZ.

I THINK YOU COULD GO UP TO A

DOUBLE "D." A "C."

>> CAN I GO BIGGER? OHH!

>> I WANT TO DO WHATEVER IT

TAKES TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

>> BEAUTY IS SYMMETRY, AND YOU

DON´T HAVE ANY.

>> TELL US WHAT YOU DON´T LIKE

ABOUT YOURSELVES. IS THAT WHAT

YOU STILL ASK ALL YOUR CONSULTS?

>> WELL DONE. YOU REMEMBERED.

>> YEAH.

>> DO YOU REMEMBER US?

>> OF COURSE. UH, MAUREEN AND

MARSHALL AYRES FROM MIAMI.

YOU FIRST CAME TO SEE US IN ´02,

RIGHT?

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. REAL ESTATE

BROKERS, RIGHT? "IF YOU WANT

SOMEONE WHO CARES, BUY YOUR HOME

FROM AYRES."

>> AH!

>> YEAH, WE FIGURED THAT GETTING

DUAL FACELIFTS WOULD HELP TO

BOOST OUR BUSINESS BACK THEN.

THE HOUSING MARKET WAS SO HOT,

YOU KNOW, YOU NEEDED TO DO

ANYTHING YOU COULD TO COMPETE.

>> IMAGE WAS EVERYTHING, AND

PROJECTING SUCCESS MEANT LOOKING

YOUNGER.

>> OF COURSE. AND THOSE ARE

OURS, TOO, AREN´T THEY?

>> YEP. OH, AND...[GRUNTS]

MY CALF IMPLANTS. HEH HEH.

>> THEY STILL LOOK GREAT.

DON´T THEY?

>> YEAH.

>> HUH?

>> SO WHAT BRINGS YOU TO LOS

ANGELES?

>> YOU GUYS.

>> OK, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

MAYBE A FEATHER LIFT, OR REMOVE

SOME OF THE PUFFINESS AROUND THE

EYES?

>> WE WANT YOU TO, UM...

REVERSE EVERYTHING.

YOU GUYS SOLD US A BAD BILL OF

GOODS.

>> SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU WANT US TO UNDO YOUR

FACELIFTS.

>> AND TAKE OUT THE IMPLANTS.

>> SO YOU CAN LOOK WORSE.

>> SO WE CAN LOOK REAL.

>> FORGIVE ME, BUT FOR YOUR AGES

YOU BOTH LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

>> PRETTY GOOD? I THINK THEY

LOOK GREAT. THE REAL ISSUE IS

NOT ABOUT UNDOING ANYTHING,

IT´S ABOUT TEACHING YOU ABOUT

THE TECHNIQUES THAT WE USE

TODAY.

>> YOU DON´T GET IT. IT´S NOT

ABOUT REFINING A PROCEDURE,

IT´S THE WHOLE CONCEPT.

>> LOOK, BACK IN THE 1940s,

DOCTORS RECOMMENDED CIGARETTES

TO THEIR PATIENTS TO CALM THEM

DOWN. NOW LOOK WHAT WE KNOW

ABOUT THOSE CANCER STICKS.

IT´S NO DIFFERENT.

>> NOBODY EVER DIED FROM LOOKING

TOO YOUNG OR LOOKING TOO

BEAUTIFUL. IF YOU WANT TO TAKE

THEM OUT, THAT´S FINE.

DO WHATEVER YOU GOTTA DO, OK?

BUT IT´S NOT GONNA COST YOU ANY

LESS THAN IT DID WHEN WE PUT

THEM IN.

>> WE WERE HOPING THERE WOULD BE

NO CHARGE.

>> OUR BUSINESS HAS DROPPED

OVER 50% IN THE LAST 3 YEARS,

JUST BECAUSE OF HOW WE LOOK.

>> WE USED TO BE THE FACES YOU

COULD TRUST. BUT WITH THIS

TIGHTNESS, WE LOOK LIKE WE´RE

JUST ADVERTISING OUR OWN

SELF-LOATHING.

WOULD YOU BUY A HOUSE FROM

SOMEONE LIKE THAT?

>> WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GET THE

WORK DONE, BUT WE WERE LED TO

BELIEVE THAT SOCIETY ACCEPTED

IT. YOU KNOW, THE TIMES THEY ARE

A-CHANGING, AND IF YOU GUYS

DON´T KEEP UP, YOU´RE GONNA GET

SWEPT AWAY JUST LIKE US.

>> OH, SEAN. CHRISTIAN, WOULD

YOU GROW UP, FOR GOD SAKES?!

FOR GOD SAKES.

>> DR. CRUZ?

HI. I´M DANIELLA CREIGHTON.

YOUR FRIENDLY DRUG DEALER.

>> OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT,

RIGHT.

>> VERY CUTE.

CHICKEN?

>> I THINK IT´S A TURKEY.

>> UH, SO WHAT´S THE, UH, NEW

GROUNDBREAKING ANESTHESIA I MUST

HAVE?

>> SUNEDRA. PROSPROPOFOL

DISODIUM. AND IT CONVERTS INTO

PROPOFOL ONCE INSIDE THE BODY.

>> OK, WELL, HIT ME. WHY IS

SUNEDRA BETTER, IN 10 WORDS OR

LESS?

>> UH, ELIMINATES NEGATIVE

AFTER-EFFECTS OF GENERAL

ANESTHESIA 89% OF...TIME.

>> YOU JUST MADE IT.

>> [LAUGHING] WAS THAT 10?

>> YEAH, THAT WAS 10.

>> WHAT IS IT, LIZZIE?

WE CAME AS SOON AS WE HEARD

YOUR SHRIEK.

>> DOES THIS BELONG TO YOU?

>> I´VE NEVER SEEN THAT TURKEY

BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

DR. CHRISTIAN TROY. HOW ARE YOU?

>> DANIELLA CREIGHTON.

>> GREAT.

>> PENKALA PHARMACEUTICALS.

>> SEAN McNAMARA. IT´S NICE TO

MEET YOU.

>> IT´S NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

I´VE GOT SOME GREAT DISCOUNTS.

UH, TWO OF OUR BEST CLIENTS

RECENTLY TOOK EARLY RETIREMENT,

SO WE´RE OVERSTOCKED.

>> REALLY? ANYBODY WE KNOW?

>> DR. CHAIKEN AND DR. GAINES.

>> CHUCK GAINES? JESUS, HE´S

YOUNGER THAN I AM.

>> I THINK HE GOT DEPRESSED.

HE KEPT SAYING HOW PLASTIC

SURGERY WAS OVER AND HE DIDN´T

WANT TO BE THE LAST ONE TO TURN

THE LIGHTS OUT.

SO, WILL YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE

CLINICAL TESTS RESULTS AND GET

BACK TO ME?

>> I SURE WILL.

>> EVEN IF IT´S A NO.

>> I WILL.

>> IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING

YOU.

>> IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING

YOU.

>> YEAH, SEE YOU.

>> CIAO.

>> WOW.

WAS SHE REALLY COMING ON TO ME.

>> SHE WAS WEARING A WEDDING

RING, LIZ.

>> YEAH, SO?

MARRIED WOMEN HAVE FLIRTED WITH

ME BEFORE. I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

IT´S CALLED BI-CURIOUS.

>> IT´S CALLED BUY MY STUFF.

>> YOU KNOW, I DON´T THINK SHE

WAS HERE JUST TO...SELL ME

DRUGS.

I MEAN, AFTER 30 YEARS OF BEING

A LESBIAN, I THINK THAT I HAVE

SOME INSTINCTS ABOUT THESE

THINGS, YOU KNOW.

>> FINE. JUST BE CAREFUL, OK?

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE KIDNEY LEFT.

[POP]

OH, YOU TURKEY.

>> WOW. COUPLES COMING IN TO

HAVE THEIR PLASTIC SURGERY

REVERSED. DOCTORS LIKE GAINES

CLOSING THEIR DOORS. THIS MIGHT

BE A TREND WE´RE LOOKING AT.

>> JESUS, ONE COUPLE AND A

RETIREE AND YOU START TO PANIC.

>> I´M JUST SAYING IT MIGHT BE

SMART TO DIVERSIFY, MAYBE BRING

ON A DERMATOLOGIST, DO MORE

FILLERS.

>> YOU EVER EATEN AT LAWRY´S?

IT DIDN´T CHANGE ITS MENU WHEN

THE REST OF THE COUNTRY DECIDED

TO CHANGE ITS EATING HABITS.

IT STUCK WITH WHAT IT DID BEST,

RIGHT? MEATS, POTATOES, SALADS.

PLASTIC SURGERY WILL DIE WHEN

PEOPLE BEGIN TO LOOK AT

THEMSELVES FOR BEAUTY AND

SELF-ESTEEM. AND A HERD OF GEESE

WILL FLY UP MY ASS.

♫ MAKE ME...

A PERFECT SOUL,

A PERFECT MIND,

A PERFECT FACE,

A PERFECT...

LIFE ♫

>> YOU´RE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE

FOR INJECTIBLES.

>> YOU A SMOKER, SEAN?

>> NO.

>> NEVER?

>> NO.

YOU DRINK, THOUGH. LOOKING AT

YOUR FACE, I´D SAY YOU´RE A

3-SCOTCH-A-NIGHT MAN.

THIS CREPEY AREA HERE--

DEHYDRATION.

NOTHING TURNS YOU INTO AN OLD

MAN FASTER.

>> I CAN SEE I NEED SOME HELP.

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?

>> LET´S START WITH 15cc OF

COSMODERM IN THE LIP LINES.

BEEN FEELING A LITTLE BITTER AND

JUDGMENTAL LATELY? NOW NO ONE

WILL KNOW WHAT YOU´RE THINKING.

THEY´LL JUST BE DRAWN TO YOUR

POSITIVE, BOYISH CHARM.

10cc OF RADIESSE, BYE-BYE,

JOWLS.

10cc OF LIDOCAINE...

AND DEFINITELY SOME BOTOX.

HOW AMAZING IS THAT?

>> HMM. NOT BAD.

>> STAY THERE.

I DON´T DO THIS FOR EVERYONE,

BUT YOU ARE SO CUTE.

YOU DON´T FEEL THE WINDS OF

CHANGE.

PLASTIC SURGERY IS JUST NOT COOL

ANYMORE. WE´RE BEING CALLED TO

A HIGHER PURPOSE. PEOPLE JUST

FEEL WRONG ABOUT SELF-MUTILATION

FOR YOUTH AND PRESTIGE. AND WHO

HAS 2 WEEKS´ RECOVERY TIME?

IT IS SO 2004.

>> SO TOXINS AND FACE FILLERS

ARE YOUR HIGHER PURPOSE?

>> WHAT´S YOURS? DARE I ASK?

I HAVEN´T FOUND IT YET, BUT AT

THE MOMENT, I JUST MUTILATE

PEOPLE FOR YOUTH AND PRESTIGE.

>> [CHUCKLES]

>> CALL ME THE FACE OF 2004.

[FOOTSTEPS]

>> DID YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO READ

THE RESULTS FROM THE CLINICAL

TRIALS?

>> UM...NO. I´M SORRY, BUT I

HAVE NOT.

>> MM.

>> LISTEN, UM...

>> DANI.

>> DANI.

>> UH, I FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE

STAYING WITH THE PROPOFOL.

I´M USED TO IT, AND, UM...

I´M JUST GONNA STAY WITH IT.

>> OK, THEN.

>> WELL, IT WAS NICE TO HAVE MET

YOU.

>> VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

>> YOU WOULDN´T WANT TO...

I DON´T KNOW, UM...

HAVE LUNCH WITH ME SOMETIME,

WOULD YOU?

I PROMISE, NO SHOP TALK.

>> HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR

HUSBAND´S GONNA FEEL ABOUT THAT?

>> WE´RE...WE´RE SEPARATED.

BUT YOU´RE RIGHT. I´M SORRY.

I JUST--I HAVE THESE THOUGHTS...

FANTASIES, AND I NEVER ACT ON

THEM, BUT...YOU JUST--YOU SEEM

SO--

>> AVAILABLE?

>> BEAUTIFUL.

>> OH, GOD.

I´M SO SORRY. I´M JUST--I´M

GOING THROUGH A PHASE.

WE ALWAYS HAVE A LOT OF YOGURT

HERE. ON THE OTHER HAND...

I´M VERY PARTIAL TO DINNER.

Roberta Flack: ♫ THE FIRST TIME

EVER I SAW YOUR FACE... ♫

>> I´M NEVER GONNA HAVE A

FACELIFT. BOTOX MAYBE, BUT NO

FACELIFTS.

>> THAT´S THE REASON YOU´RE ONLY

AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST, LIZZIE,

AND NOT A SUCCESSFUL SURGEON

LIKE MYSELF. OK? YOU´RE NOT

WILLING TO GO THE DISTANCE.

>> YOU´RE DEAD WRONG,

SMARTYPANTS.

THE REASON I BECAME AN

ANESTHESIOLOGIST IS SO THAT I

COULD SWITCH MY SPECIALTIES

WHENEVER I WANTED. CALL ME IN A

YEAR WHEN YOU´RE STANDING OVER

AN EMPTY OPERATING TABLE AND I´M

MAKING BANK OVER THE HEART

INSTITUTE AT CEDARS.

>> OH, LOOK WHO´S HERE.

FANCYPANTS, HUH? OH, YOU LOOK

GOOD. MAYBE TOO GOOD. GET AN

EXTRA HOUR´S SLEEP? IS THAT WHY

YOU´RE LATE?

>> YEAH, YOU LOOK LIKE A

DIFFERENT PERSON, HUH?

>> WELL, I WENT TO SEE JILL

JACOBSON YESTERDAY.

I SAMPLED FROM HER INJECTIBLES

MENU.

>> WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO TO

HER? WE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE DOES

AND BETTER.

>> DERMATOLOGISTS SPECIALIZE IN

THAT KIND OF TREATMENT, AND

FRANKLY, THEY DO A MUCH BETTER

JOB.

>> FINE, OK? BUT WHEN THE STUFF

WEARS OFF, I DON´T WANT YOU

GOING BACK TO HER. IF ANYBODY

SHOULD BE STABBING YOU WITH A

NEEDLE, IT´S ME AND NOT THE

COMPETITION.

>> SHE´S NOT THE COMPETITION

ANYMORE. I HIRED HER THIS

MORNING.

>> HUH. YOU CAN´T HIRE ANYONE

WITHOUT MY APPROVAL.

>> DON´T WORRY, YOU´LL LOVE HER.

YOU´RE HAVING DINNER WITH HER

TOMORROW NIGHT.

Roberta Flack: ♫ YOUR FACE ♫

>> CHRISTIAN TROY?

>> THAT´S ME.

>> HAVE A SEAT. WE´RE RUNNING A

LITTLE BEHIND TODAY.

>> HMM.

HEY.

HMM. ARE THEY ALWAYS THIS BUSY?

>> NO. IT´S USUALLY WORSE.

>> SO YOU COME HERE QUITE A BIT,

THEN?

>> EVERY 6 WEEKS.

>> WOW. [CHUCKLES]

THAT MUST BE AWFUL.

>> NO, IT´S NOT SO BAD. IT´S

JUST LIKE GETTING A HAIRCUT.

>> I MEANT WASTING YOUR TIME AND

MONEY ON SOMETHING THAT DOESN´T

WORK.

>> I BEG YOUR PARDON?

>> YOU DO REALIZE THAT IF YOU

ONLY USE INJECTIBLES, YOU´LL

NEVER BE SATISFIED.

SURE, THERE´S THE HIGH OF

LOOKING GOOD WHEN YOU FIRST GET

IT DONE. BUT THEN YOU START

SEEING THE SPOTS THE DOCTOR

MISSED RIGHT AWAY.

LIKE THESE LINES, HERE.

OF COURSE, THE DOCTOR´S ONLY TOO

WILLING TO SQUEEZE YOU IN.

IT´S MORE MONEY FOR HER.

>> THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME

AGAIN.

>> GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.

>> JUST RIGHT HERE I NOTICED.

>> OK.

>> YOU CAN´T ARGUE WITH THE

RESULTS, THOUGH.

>> IF YOU´RE LOOKING FOR REAL

VALUE AND LONG-LASTING RESULTS,

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN RELY ON

IS A QUALIFIED SURGEON.

TAKE ONE.

GREAT.

THANK YOU.

>> LOIS, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

I THOUGHT WE WERE OVERBOOKED.

>> THEY ALL GOT A BETTER OFFER.

>> HOW DARE YOU GET RID OF MY

PATIENTS LIKE THAT.

>> THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN FREE

WILL.

>> ONLY AFTER YOU FED THEM SOME

BULLSHIT LINE ABOUT THE MARVELS

OF PLASTIC SURGERY.

>> ACTUALLY, IT WAS AN EDUCATED

DECISION BASED ON YEARS OF

PRACTICE. OF COURSE, I DIDN´T DO

A ONE-YEAR COURSE AT A COMMUNITY

COLLEGE TO BECOME A BEAUTICIAN.

[LAUGHS] SO, I´M SURE THAT I

MISSED OUT ON SOME OF THE FINER

POINTS.

>> OH, I GET IT.

THIS IS SOME KIND OF TEST,

TO SEE WHAT I´M MADE OF BEFORE

WE START WORKING TOGETHER?

>> OH, WE´RE NOT WORKING

TOGETHER, SWEET CHEEKS.

SEE, MY PARTNER NEEDED MY

APPROVAL FOR YOU TO COME ABOARD

AND I CAME TO TELL YOU THAT I

DON´T APPROVE.

>> THINGS ARE REALLY BAD, AREN´T

THEY?

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> THE BUSINESS. IT MUST BE.

OR YOU WOULDN´T LOOK LIKE SUCH

SHIT.

>> [CHUCKLES]

>> I THINK YOU NEED MY HELP.

>> I GOT A BETTER IDEA. YOU COME

TO MY OFFICE, AND I´LL HELP YOU

FILL OUT THAT CLEAVAGE OF YOURS.

WHAT ARE YOU, AN "A" CUP?

>> IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR YOU?

>> THAT AND YOUR PANCAKE ASS,

BUT, UM, WE COULD FIX THAT, TOO.

>> HMM. AND, UH...

WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU DO TO MY

ASS, DR. TROY?

>> WHY DON´T YOU JUST GIVE US

A QUICK LOOK HERE, HUH?

THIS ASS?

THERE´S A LOT I COULD DO WITH

THAT. I COULD DEFINITELY TAKE

YOU UP TO A "C" CUP.

>> SHOULD WE LOCK THE DOOR?

>> WHY, HUH? ALL YOUR PATIENTS

ARE GONE.

>> ACTUALLY, THERE´S PROBABLY

ANOTHER 10 OUT THERE RIGHT NOW.

>> [CHUCKLES]

>> SEE, I CAN BOOK EVERY 15

MINUTES FOR 8 HOURS.

BUT SINCE YOU´RE PART OF THE OLD

GUARD...

>> [CHUCKLES]

>> I GUESS YOU´LL NEVER GET TO

EXPERIENCE WHAT I REALLY HAD TO

OFFER YOU. WHICH WAS A FUTURE.

TELL SEAN I SAID THANKS FOR THE

OPPORTUNITY.

>> I WILL. AND IF YOU CHANGE

YOUR MIND ABOUT THE, UH, "C"

CUP, YOU LET ME KNOW.

[MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE]

[GLASS BREAKS]

>> SHIT!

JUST A MINUTE.

[EXHALES] BUTTERFINGERS.

COME ON IN. COME IN.

I´D KEEP YOUR SHOES ON.

>> OK.

>> YEAH.

[BOTH LAUGH]

>> IT´S BEAUTIFUL HERE, HUH?

>> OH, THANK YOU.

SO, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE?

I--I GOT SOME WHITE AND SOME RED

THAT MY HUSBAND BROUGHT BACK

FROM NAPA. UH, HE´S AN EXPERT.

I, UH, THINK HE KNEW MORE ABOUT

WINE THAN HE KNEW ABOUT ME.

OH, GOD, I DIDN´T EVEN ASK IF

YOU DRANK. I JUST--I´VE HEARD

THAT MOST LESBIANS ARE

ALCOHOLICS.

>> OH. WELL, I MUST BE IN THE

SUPER MINORITY. UM, I PREFER

RED.

>> ME, TOO. ISN´T THAT WILD?

>> YEAH.

>> OH!

>> OH! CAN I USE THIS?

>> OH, GOD.

>> GOD COMING TO THE RESCUE.

>> OH, GOOD.

>> IS THIS YOUR FIRST DATE WITH

A WOMAN?

>> IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?

>> [CHUCKLES]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

>> LOOK, BELIEVE ME, I´M NOT

JUST EXPERIMENTING.

I´M LIKE 75% SURE THAT I´M GAY.

>> 75%, HUH? HMM?

>> I´VE, UM...I´VE ALWAYS BEEN

ATTRACTED TO WOMEN.

AND, UM...IT LEAVES THE FACT

THAT IN ALL THE YEARS WITH MY

HUSBAND, I NEVER ONCE HAD, UH...

I KNOW.

>> HMM.

>> WELL, BOTTOMS UP.

[GLASSES CLINK]

OH, SHIT, I DIDN´T MEAN THAT.

THE--

>> WHAT YOU DOIN´?

>> I´M TAKING CARE OF THE OTHER

25%.

>> IT´S--IT´S JUST, UM...

I´VE NEVER...

AND...

I JUST--I DON´T WANT YOU TO

EXPECT TOO MUCH.

>> I DON´T EXPECT ANYTHING. OK?

I JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD

TIME. I DON´T CARE IF YOU

ORGASM. JUST TRUST ME. IT´S

GONNA BE OK. ALL RIGHT?

OK.

>> I TRUST YOU.

OHH...

OHH...

[HEART BEATING LOUDLY]

OHH...

OHH...OHH...

OH! OHH! OHH!

UHH! UHH!

[ECHOING]

>> SEAN, YOU MIGHT WANT TO CALL

YOUR LITTLE INJECTIBLES WENCH

AND TELL HER SHE WON´T BE HAVING

A JOB HERE. I´M NOT BUDGING ON

THAT ONE, BY THE WAY, SO DON´T

TAX YOU´RE ALREADY OVERWORKED

BRAIN TRYING TO COME UP WITH A

WAY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.

>> YEAH, I THINK WE´RE ON THE

SAME PAGE ABOUT THAT.

>> WOW! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

>> TOO MUCH FILLER.

>> YOU WENT BACK A SECOND TIME?

>> AND A THIRD.

>> A THIRD?

>> YEAH, LAUGH AWAY, PAL.

YOU´RE GONNA BE DOING THE

CORRECTION. 5cc OF HYALURONIDASE

WHEREVER SHE INJECTED ME.

>> SO, FELLAS, I JUST GOT OFF

THE PHONE WITH A BERNIE

GREENSTEIN, WHO SAID THAT HE´S

REPRESENTING THE AYERS, AND THEY

ARE FILING A LAWSUIT AGAINST US,

CLAIMING LOSS OF INCOME DUE TO

MISREPRESENTATION AND

MALPRACTICE.

OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT YOU.

WHO´D YOU PISS OFF?

>> DON´T.

>> WELL, HE´S TRYING TO GET A

COURT ORDER TO SEE A LIST OF

OUR PATIENTS, HOPING THAT THERE

ARE MORE DISGRUNTLED FOLKS.

>> BERNIE GREENDICK IS AN

ASSHOLE. OK? AND EVERYTHING HE

TOUCHES TURNS TO TABLOID, UH,

HEADLINES, OK? SO WHO GIVES A

SHIT?

>> ALL RIGHT, COULD WE PUT THE

LAWSUIT ASIDE AND BRING THE

SWELLING DOWN? PLEASE?

>> YOU´RE WRONG, SEAN. WE HAVE

PLENTY TO WORRY ABOUT.

ALL PEOPLE NEED TO DO IS HEAR

THE NAME McNAMARA AND TROY IN

CONTEXT WITH A LAWSUIT AND WE´RE

SCREWED.

>> OW.

NO, NO, NO, WE CAN´T WORRY ABOUT

THAT. THERE´S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

IT´S ALL OVER, ANYWAY. THE WHOLE

PURSUIT OF PERFECTION IS A

GIGANTIC HOAX. NOTHING CHANGES.

>> WE NEED TO PUT UP A FIGHT,

ALL RIGHT? I´M GONNA GET A

FEATHER LIFT AND YOU´RE GONNA

GIVE IT TO ME, AND YOU´RE

GONNA SHOW THE WORLD WHAT WE

DO HERE.

>> UH. OW. AND THAT WOULD DO

WHAT, BESIDES TAKE YOU OUT OF

SURGERY FOR A WEEK?

>> YOU´LL BE THE POSTER BOY FOR

INJECTIBLES, OK? I´LL BE THE

FACE OF THE BUSINESS AND THE

FUTURE OF PLASTIC SURGERY.

>> ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN. YOU SURE

YOU´RE READY TO DO THIS?

>> HOLD ON. I DIDN´T GET THAT.

WAIT. UM, CAN YOU SAY YOUR LINE

AGAIN FOR ME, PLEASE?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> IT´S OK. SHE´S FILMING THIS.

I ASKED HER TO. WE´RE GONNA PUT

THE WHOLE THING ON YOUTUBE.

>> THE SURGERY?

>> YES. IT´S PIONEERING, JUST

LIKE WE USED TO BE. ANY LUCK,

THIS WHOLE THING WILL GO VIRAL

AND THE WORLD WILL GET TO SEE

JUST HOW EASY A FACELIFT CAN BE

THESE DAYS.

>> OH, YEAH, THAT´LL WORK.

>> WE GET A HALF A MILLION HITS,

YOU WAIT--WE´LL GO FROM BEING

SUED TO BEING STARS AGAIN.

>> YEAH.

>> LOOK. [LAUGHS] I KNOW IT

MAKES YOU A LITTLE ANXIOUS

TO BE ON CAMERA.

SO JUST PRETEND IT´S NOT THERE.

OK?

>> OK.

>> OK. NOW SAY YOUR LINE AGAIN.

AND DO IT GOOD.

>> UH...ARE YOU SURE YOU´RE

READY TO DO THIS?

>> ABSOLU--ABSOLUTELY, DOC.

[CLICKS TONGUE] HEH HEH.

LET´S OPERATE.

>> MUSIC.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

>> SWEET DREAMS.

>> ALL RIGHT...10...

9...8...

7...6...

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[TICKING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING, SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING]

>> CAN YOU FEEL IT? I MEAN, THE

ENERGY IS JUST ELECTRIFYING.

AND JUST THINK, IN A FEW MINUTES

WE´LL BE AT THE END OF AN ERA,

AND EVERYBODY WHO IS ANYBODY WHO

NO LONGER LOOKS THE WAY THEY

USED TO WILL BE HERE TONIGHT.

SPEAKING OF THAT, LOOK WHO IS

HERE. IT´S DR. SEAN McNAMARA.

>> SEAN!

>> HELLO. DON´T YOU LOOK

DASHING.

>> WELL, JOAN, WHEN THEY TOLD ME

THAT WE´D BE CELEBRATING THE

DEMISE OF PLASTIC SURGERY

TONIGHT, I KNEW I COULDN´T SHOW

UP IN SCRUBS.

>> [LAUGHS] AND THIS IS YOUR

DATE?

>> YES. THIS IS MY NEW PARTNER

CURTIS.

>> OH. I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT.

>> WELL, THANK YOU. MY DAUGHTER

ACTUALLY PICKED IT OUT.

>> OH, HELLO. DON´T TELL ME.

VALENTINO, RIGHT? CROCODILE

COLLECTION? I HAVE THE SAME

THING IN MY CLOSET.

[ALL LAUGH]

>> WELL, WE SHOULD GET GOING.

WE´RE ALREADY LATE AS IT IS.

>> SEAN, WAIT!

[CAMERAS CLICKING, CHATTER]

>> AH! LOOK WHO´S HERE--THE ONE

MAN WHO SINGLE-HANDEDLY

DESTROYED THE FINE ART

OF PLASTIC SURGERY,

DR. CHRISTIAN TROY. SO WHAT ARE

YOU DOING, DOC, TRYING TO CRASH

THE PARTY?

>> NO, I HAVE TO STOP--

>> IF ANYONE NEEDS TO BE

STOPPED, DOCTOR, I THINK IT´S

YOU. MAYBE YOU´LL LEARN FROM

THE LAWSUIT, HUH? WHAT DO YOU

THINK ABOUT THAT? HEY, DOC! WHAT

ARE YOU WEARING?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

>> OH. YEAH, I GOT HIM RIGHT

HERE.

OH, SIR. I´M SORRY. THIS IS A

PRIVATE PARTY. YOU CAN´T COME

IN. YOUR NAME, IT´S NOT EVEN ON

THE LIST. PLEASE STEP BACK.

>> SUCH A PRETTY PIG, ISN´T HE?

>> VERY PRETTY.

BUT DO YOU THINK HE´S DONE?

>> ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

AHEM.

OOH.

EEW. A LITTLE OVERDONE, I´D SAY.

>> LADIES, I AM SO SORRY THAT

YOU DON´T LIKE YOUR MEAL.

BUT HE JUST REFUSED TO LET ME

TENDERIZE HIM FIRST.

>> LOOK--HEH HEH--WE´RE

STARVING. NOW, THERE HAS TO BE

SOMETHING THAT WE CAN DO.

>> LET´S ASK THE MAN HIMSELF,

SHALL WE?

>> GOOD IDEA.

[POP]

All: TELL US WHAT YOU DON´T

LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> EVERYTHING.

>> HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

LOOK AT ME.

>> LOOK AT ME.

I´M ON THE WRONG SIDE OF 40.

I GOT A...

FAKE TIT FROM A ONE-IN-A-MILLION

CANCER.

I CAN´T LOSE THE POUNDS LIKE I

USED TO. MY HAIR KEEPS FALLING

OUT. MY ENTIRE LIVELIHOOD IS

BECOMING THE ENRON OF SURGICAL

PROCEDURES. AND NOW MY CLOSEST

FRIEND, MY...

BIGGEST SUPPORTER IS LEAVING ME.

>> OH, QUIT BEING SO NEGATIVE.

YOU SOUND LIKE SEAN. WHEN YOU

SHOW NO FEAR, YOU PROJECT

CONFIDENCE AND YOUR LIFE WILL

ALWAYS HAVE THE APPEARANCE OF

SUCCESS.

AND IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

IS IT NOT?

>> SO...WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME,

THEN?

>> HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT

INJECTIBLES?

THEY REALLY ARE THE FUTURE.

>> THIS IS BULLSHIT.

>> I´LL GET SEAN TO DO THE

SURGERY.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING?

I´VE BEEN WAITING 20 YEARS

TO HIGHLIGHT ALL YOUR FLAWS.

>> WHY, DO I HAVE A LOT?

>> [TAKES DEEP BREATH]

WELL, FOR STARTERS,

YOU´RE POMPOUS, SELF-CENTERED,

ALMOST SOCIOPATHIC IN YOUR

COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR ANYONE

BESIDES YOURSELF. YOU HAVE

ALMOST NO TALENT IN THE

OPERATING ROOM.

BUT YOU´VE MANAGED

TO MAKE AN ENTIRE CAREER

RIDING ON MY COATTAILS, ALL THE

WHILE INSISTING THAT YOU´RE THE

ONE WHO IS THE REAL STAR.

FOR THE LONGEST TIME I ACTUALLY

ADMIRED YOU FOR HOW EASILY LIFE

SEEMED TO BEND TO YOUR WILL,

HOW WOMEN FELL AT YOUR FEET.

AND THEN I GREW TO HATE YOU FOR

HOW CARELESS AND SINGLE-MINDED

YOU COULD BE.

NOW I JUST THINK IT´S SAD,

BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE WHO´S SO

DESPERATE TO SUCCEED AND GET

RECOGNITION, I SEE JUST HOW

LONELY YOU REALLY ARE.

WHEN I´M GONE, YOU´LL HAVE

NO ONE LEFT IN YOUR LIFE

WHO CARES FOR YOU. AND...

YOU WILL DIE ALONE.

>> AM I REALLY THIS UGLY?

>> DON´T BE UPSET.

LET YOUR SHORTCOMINGS AND YOUR

FLAWS FUEL YOU. LET THEM PUSH

YOU FURTHER THAN YOU EVER

THOUGHT YOU COULD GO.

WHEN YOU STOP STRIVING FOR

PERFECTION, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE

DEAD, BUDDY BOY.

[PATS HIM]

[WAVES CRASHING]

>> I´M SO SORRY ABOUT WHAT

HAPPENED.

>> DON´T BE. I´M NOT DEAD.

I HAVE SO MUCH SILICONE IN ME,

I STAYED AFLOAT FOR DAYS.

DON´T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT´S OK.

COME ON. I´VE HAD A REALLY LONG

DAY.

[TICKING]

>> I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

>> PROVE IT.

Kimber´s voice: YOU COULDN´T

SAVE ME, HONEY.

NOBODY COULD.

GOOD-BYE, CHRISTIAN.

>> DON´T WORRY, I´LL NEVER LEAVE

YOU.

>> WHO ARE YOU?

>> YOU DON´T SEE THE FAMILY

RESEMBLANCE?

COME GIVE YOUR DAD A HUG.

>> GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

YOU´RE NOT MY FATHER, YOU´RE

A MONSTER.

>> YOU CAN TRY AND DENY WHERE

YOU CAME FROM AS MUCH AS YOU

WANT, BUT YOU´LL ALWAYS BE

DADDY´S LITTLE BOY.

>> [GRUNTS]

>> UHH!

AW, ARE YOU TRYING TO REARRANGE

MY FACE, JUST LIKE YOU´RE DOING

TO YOUR OWN ON THE SURGERY TABLE

RIGHT NOW?

[CHUCKLES]

AHH. STOP FIGHTING WHO YOU ARE.

MY DARKNESS IS A PART OF YOU.

YOU HAVE MY DNA, CHRISTIAN. YOU

HAVE MY DNA.

ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT, YOU

DID A LOT OF THE HEAVY LIFTING

ON YOUR OWN.

>> STOP. SEAN, PLEASE,

DON´T HURT ME.

>> OH, IT´LL BE OVER BEFORE YOU

KNOW IT.

DID YOU KNOW THAT GETTING

A FACELIFT IS THE PHYSIOLOGICAL

EQUIVALENT OF GOING THROUGH

A WINDSHIELD AT 60 MILES

AN HOUR?

>> PLEASE, DON´T. PLEASE.

[MUFFLED MUMBLING]

>> I CAN BRING HIM OUT NOW.

>> WE´RE DONE.

TURN THAT THING OFF.

>> [GRUNTS]

NEVER LET ME GIVE A PATIENT

A HARD TIME ABOUT PAIN AGAIN.

AHH! OHH.

>> YOU KNOW, UNDER NORMAL

CIRCUMSTANCES, I´D RUB IT IN.

BUT BECAUSE YOU DID IT FOR

THE BUSINESS, I´M GONNA INCREASE

YOUR MORPHINE REGIME AND SAY

THANK YOU.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> OH, I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED GOOD

ALREADY.

YOU DIDN´T DO THIS BECAUSE OF

A LAWSUIT OR BECAUSE YOU TOOK

ONE FOR THE TEAM. YOU DID IT

BECAUSE YOU WANTED A FACELIFT.

>> I NOTICED IT WHILE I WAS

SHAVING A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.

NOTHING ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SEE,

BUT I DO THIS FOR A LIVING.

>> EVERYONE GETS OLDER,

CHRISTIAN. YOU KNOW, AND YOU´RE

ONE OF THOSE LUCKY ONES. YOU´RE

ONLY GONNA GET BETTER LOOKING.

>> HMM.

YOU KNOW WHY I HAVE

RELATIONSHIPS THAT NEVER LAST?

OR WHY I TRADE IN MY CAR EVERY

6 MONTHS?

>> A.D.D.? A COMPLETE LACK OF

A SOUL?

>> NO. I HATE CHANGE.

TERRIFIED BY IT. I DON´T LIKE IT

WHEN THINGS END. I LIKE TO END

THEM MYSELF, ON MY OWN TERMS.

>> IT KEEPS YOU FROM GETTING

HURT, HUH?

>> IT ALSO KEEPS ME ALONE.

I JUST CAN´T ACCEPT IT WHEN

THINGS ARE OVER.

WHEN THINGS ARE PERFECT, YOU

KNOW.

>> LIFE IS NOT PERFECT. LIFE IS

MESSY. SOMETIMES LIFE IS VERY

MESSY.

>> WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME?

>> I´M TALKING ABOUT LIFE.

YOU KNOW, AND WANTING THINGS TO

BE PERFECT AND GETTING

DISAPPOINTED OVER AND OVER AND

OVER BECAUSE IT´S NEVER GONNA

BE. THEN WHAT HAPPENS? YOU END

UP BEING ALONE.

>> HMM. DEPRESSING.

>> I SLEPT WITH DANIELLA.

SHE´S GREAT, OK. SHE´S

ABSOLUTELY GREAT. AND SHE´S

GORGEOUS AND SHE´S FUNNY

AND...GORGEOUS.

>> MM-HMM.

>> YOU KNOW, I THINK, OK, I´VE

WAITED AND THIS IS MY REWARD,

RIGHT? WE WERE MAKING LOVE AND,

UH, SHE´S HAVING THIS ORGASM

THAT´S JUST...

>> [CHUCKLES]

>> I KNOW. AND THEN SHE, UH...

>> SHE WHAT?

>> I CAN´T EVEN SAY IT. I CAN´T

SAY IT.

>> EJACULATED?

>> LIKE A FIRE HOSE.

>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?

>> I ALMOST DROWNED.

>> HA HA.

>> IT´S NOT FUNNY.

>> IT´S PRETTY FUNNY.

>> I MEAN, I TOLD HER, I SAID,

"IT´S OK. I DON´T MIND IT, I

THINK OF IT AS A COMPLIMENT."

BUT THE TRUTH IS--

>> THE TRUTH IS YOU´RE JUST LIKE

ME. YOU WANT LIFE TO BE EASY

AND CLEAN.

THAT´S A DAMN SHAME.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

>> WHO IS IT?

>> IT´S ME, LIZ.

CAN I COME IN?

>> I DON´T THINK SO.

>> PLEASE?

LOOK, I KNOW I DIDN´T CALL YOU,

AND IT´S ONLY BECAUSE--

>> YOU WERE REPULSED AND

DISGUSTED.

>> NO.

SHOCKED.

>> THANKS.

>> ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS

UNEXPECTED.

AND IT FREAKED ME OUT, AND I GOT

SCARED. IT´S NOT YOU.

I THOUGHT THAT WOMEN WHO COULD,

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW...

>> SQUIRT.

>> YEAH, SQUIRT. I THOUGHT THEY

ONLY EXISTED IN LESBIAN PORN.

BUT YOU ARE SO REAL. AND I DON´T

WANT TO GIVE UP ON SOMEONE

WHO I FEEL SO CONNECTED TO

BECAUSE OF MY IGNORANCE.

YOU ARE WONDERFUL. AND I AM SO

SORRY.

>> HEY, HON. WHO IS IT?

>> UM, IT´S DR. ELIZABETH CRUZ

FROM McNAMARA/TROY. SHE´S

A CLIENT OF MINE, AND WE

DISCOVERED THAT WE´RE NEIGHBORS,

SO I TOLD HER THAT IF THERE WAS

ANY SAMPLE SHE WANTED, SHE COULD

JUST--SHE COULD STOP BY.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND EDWARD.

>> HI. NICE TO MEET YOU,

DR. CRUZ.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> WHATEVER SHE´S SELLING, CAN´T

GO WRONG.

>> RIGHT.

>> HOW ABOUT I WALK YOU OUT?

>> SURE.

>> I´LL BE RIGHT BACK, SWEETIE.

>> OK, SURE.

>> ARE YOU GOING BACK TO YOUR

HUSBAND?

>> I CAN´T DO IT, LIZ. I CAN´T.

I CAN´T BE GAY.

>> YOU ARE GAY.

>> MAYBE. BUT...

AT LEAST WITH HIM I´M NORMAL.

I DON´T DO THAT.

>> YOU´RE GONNA MISS OUT ON

A LOT OF JOY.

>> BEING LIKE THAT DOESN´T BRING

ME JOY.

IT´S JUST NOT HOW I SEE MYSELF.

IT´S JUST NOT...

NOT HOW I WANT TO SEE MYSELF.

I´M--I´M SO SORRY.

>> ME, TOO.

>> AHH, THAT´S THE KIND OF CALL

YOU LIKE TO GET FROM YOUR

LAWYER.

>> I TOLD YOU THE AYERS DIDN´T

HAVE A CASE. THE ONLY THING THEY

HAD IS BALLS FOR TRYING TO SUE

US IN THE FIRST PLACE.

>> TOO BAD. THEY COULD HAVE

GOTTEN A FEATHER LIFT FOR HALF

OFF INSTEAD.

>> MM-HMM.

>> YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU GETTING

THAT SURGERY HELPED OUR CASE.

>> SO YOU´RE SAYING THAT THAT

INFLATED EGO OF MINE COULD HAVE

HELPED US FOR A CHANGE?

>> I´M JUST SAYING YOU REALLY

PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH

WAS. I ADMIRE THAT.

>> GOOD.

>> TO OUR CONTINUED SUCCESS.

>> CHEERS.

>> YES, CHEERS.

YOU´RE NOT DRINKING? IT´S BAD

LUCK.

>> NO, NO, NO. I´M STILL

RECOVERING. YOU KNOW, I DON´T

WANT TO GET ALL SWELLED UP, LOOK

LIKE I CAME FROM JILL JACOBSON´S

OFFICE.

>> OH, YEAH. THAT WOULDN´T BE

GOOD.

>> HEY, FELLAS, HAVE YOU SEEN

THIS? YOUR SURGERY IS ONE OF

THE FEATURED VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE.

>> YOU´RE KIDDING.

>> WOW.

>> MM-MMM. IT´S ALREADY

A QUARTER OF A MILLION HITS.

>> OH, LOOK, IT´S OVER 300,000

NOW.

>> SEE THAT? I TOLD YOU IT WOULD

BE A HIT.

>> OH, YEAH. LOOK AT THAT. OVER

40,000 COMMENTS.

>> I THINK PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO

GET IN CONTACT WITH US. IS THERE

ANYWAY WE CAN GET OUR PHONE

NUMBER ON THIS WEBSITE? THIS IS

LIKE FREE ADVERTISING. I TOLD

YOU THAT LAWSUIT WOULD BE

THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO

THIS BUSINESS.

>> OH, YOU KNOW, I´M NOT SURE

EVERYBODY ELSE IS AS ENTHUSED

ABOUT THIS AS YOU ARE.

>> "WHAT A BARBARIC THING TO DO

TO SOMEONE." "DOES ANYONE REALLY

THINK PLASTIC SURGERY MAKES

SENSE ANYMORE?" "THIS IS

DISGUSTING." "FACELIFTS ARE SO

2004."

>> OH, COME ON. IT CAN´T BE ALL

OF THEM. GIVE ME THIS THING.

MAYBE I NEED TO POST

A FOLLOW-UP NOW THAT I´M FULLY

HEALED.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

[SIGHS]