All language subtitles for Joe.Pera.Talks.With.You.S02E12_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:04,279 Hello. My name is Joe Pera, 2 00:00:04,314 --> 00:00:07,114 and I figured that if you're watching this program, 3 00:00:07,145 --> 00:00:09,725 you like to bring your lunch, as well. 4 00:00:09,768 --> 00:00:13,118 This last evening of summer break, I'm about to make me 5 00:00:13,151 --> 00:00:16,571 and Sarah's first lunches of the school year. 6 00:00:16,602 --> 00:00:18,782 There are about a million ways to do this, 7 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:21,061 but I'll show you what I do. 8 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:30,000 ♪♪ 9 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:34,930 I'll start with a sandwich, and this week is a turkey week. 10 00:00:34,965 --> 00:00:36,305 Most weeks are. 11 00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:40,556 As we've established, I don't want too exciting a lunch. 12 00:00:40,592 --> 00:00:44,322 I like my days to go like this. 13 00:00:44,354 --> 00:00:46,434 That's why I eat turkey sandwiches. 14 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,080 Also, he loves that dry bird meat. 15 00:00:49,118 --> 00:00:51,218 It's true. 16 00:00:51,258 --> 00:00:53,288 When I would go over to my Nonna's house 17 00:00:53,329 --> 00:00:55,089 for dinner on Sunday nights, 18 00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:58,754 I would do the dishes, and she'd pack my lunch for me. 19 00:00:58,782 --> 00:01:00,132 I'd try and stop her, 20 00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:03,823 but I couldn't because my hands were wet. 21 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:05,126 It's weird. 22 00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:07,828 I can never recreate the flavor of her sandwiches, 23 00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,070 even though the only thing unique about them 24 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,114 was that she would use too much mayonnaise. 25 00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:17,703 She's with us in the mayonnaise. 26 00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:23,975 I've been trying to cut down on my plastic consumption, 27 00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:27,884 so I've been washing and re-using my sandwich bags. 28 00:01:29,158 --> 00:01:33,958 Next up, a salty, crispy. 29 00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:36,130 Just something from the snack aisle. 30 00:01:36,165 --> 00:01:38,545 Doesn't have to be healthy. 31 00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:41,621 A durable fruit or vegetable. 32 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,755 Non-caffeinated cinnamon tea, 33 00:01:46,796 --> 00:01:53,416 which will go great with dessert, store-bought cookies. 34 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:56,428 Like I said.... 35 00:01:56,461 --> 00:01:58,431 Though, since it's the first day of school, 36 00:01:58,463 --> 00:02:01,473 a little something extra. 37 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,990 You put it in a reusable lunch bag, 38 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:06,440 and that's it. 39 00:02:07,851 --> 00:02:10,161 Yeah. 40 00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:12,649 That's how I pack my lunch. 41 00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:18,834 Um, it's kind of interesting how no matter what you put 42 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:21,112 in there, by fifth period tomorrow, 43 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,521 it's all going to taste the same. 44 00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:33,394 And, uh, that's it. 45 00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,429 That's how I pack my lunch. 46 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,440 Mm. 47 00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:44,472 My outfit is laid out. 48 00:02:44,509 --> 00:02:48,999 I was going to wear that jacket that Jeremy and Josiah gave me, 49 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:52,550 try something different, but I can't now. 50 00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:56,276 Um, what are you packing for your lunch tomorrow? 51 00:02:56,314 --> 00:02:58,254 T -- tell them the story. 52 00:02:58,281 --> 00:02:59,661 It's okay. 53 00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:01,276 Come on. Tell them the story. 54 00:03:01,319 --> 00:03:03,009 It -- it's not a really good story. 55 00:03:03,044 --> 00:03:04,394 Yes, it is. 56 00:03:04,425 --> 00:03:05,735 How about a thermos of soup? 57 00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,981 Come on. Just tell them. 58 00:03:10,293 --> 00:03:12,743 Okay. 59 00:03:12,778 --> 00:03:15,988 I was walking to the Melsky's the other night. 60 00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:17,893 It was about a month ago. 61 00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:20,611 I was returning home from a fashion show with 62 00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:21,928 Gene and Lulu. 63 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,100 -Good night, Joe. -See you, Joe. 64 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:28,594 Ultimately, I decided against moving to Milwaukee. 65 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:31,182 I knew I had to get back to Gus. 66 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,491 That's when I remembered that I had left him 67 00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:36,223 with the Melsky kids across the street. 68 00:03:40,323 --> 00:03:42,673 [ Doorbell rings ] 69 00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:47,916 Mike. 70 00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:49,261 Hey. 71 00:03:49,298 --> 00:03:51,018 See you at home, Gus. 72 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,890 I think my kids stole your dog. 73 00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:56,995 Yep. 74 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,789 I didn't mean to act surprised. 75 00:03:58,824 --> 00:04:02,104 I just wasn't expecting to see you here. 76 00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:04,688 Yeah, I realized it was time to come home. 77 00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:13,178 Hey, this is some good shit. 78 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:17,743 You know, you should be with that girl. 79 00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:20,054 -Yeah. -Yeah. 80 00:04:20,087 --> 00:04:21,987 Yeah. [ Sighs ] 81 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,750 You're right. 82 00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:27,441 Can you guys help me with a favor? 83 00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:28,754 Yeah, buddy. 84 00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:30,365 So what's up, Scott? 85 00:04:30,408 --> 00:04:32,818 She's not running quite right. 86 00:04:32,858 --> 00:04:36,658 I think it might be a spark plug or something. 87 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,240 Okay. I don't know where Mike is, 88 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,378 but he can take a look at it when he gets back. 89 00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:43,659 Just look under the hood. 90 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:45,697 Just look under the hood. 91 00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:57,365 Uh, S -- S... 92 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,890 [ Stammering ] I love you. Um... 93 00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:03,822 I'm -- I'm -- I don't -- I don't -- 94 00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:07,545 Uh, I acted like an idiot. 95 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,313 I'm stupid. 96 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,103 I'm honestly dumb, 97 00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:15,658 and you're beautiful. You're awesome. 98 00:05:15,694 --> 00:05:17,804 I -- I -- I missed you so much. 99 00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,464 I can't do anything without you. 100 00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:21,531 I -- I can't be without you. 101 00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:23,322 I think about you all the time. 102 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,527 I'm so horny, and I'm -- 103 00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:28,426 I don't know how to wash clothes, 104 00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:34,056 and you're good and funny and cool, 105 00:05:34,092 --> 00:05:39,652 and I don't know how to use certain things on my phone, 106 00:05:39,684 --> 00:05:43,004 and, look, you're the hardest working 107 00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:45,592 and most compassionate person I ever met in my life, 108 00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:48,591 and I... You deserve a husband 109 00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:50,384 that'll treat you like an empress. 110 00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:51,799 I'll start eating vegetables again 111 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,804 and no more all chicken diet. 112 00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:57,671 It's a gift card. 113 00:06:00,429 --> 00:06:01,809 I appreciate you. 114 00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:04,434 This is the best I can do. 115 00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:07,325 [ Sighs ] 116 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,327 I know. 117 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,339 Yeah? Okay. 118 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,410 Yeah? Yeah. 119 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,300 Very good! 120 00:06:13,338 --> 00:06:15,478 -All right! -Yes! 121 00:06:15,513 --> 00:06:16,823 -Yes! -Yeah! 122 00:06:16,859 --> 00:06:19,659 Thank God for my father and my brothers. 123 00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:22,239 So stupid, but it was the little bit of effort 124 00:06:22,278 --> 00:06:25,038 I had been waiting for, and to actually get divorced 125 00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:26,634 would have been a financial nightmare. 126 00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:28,112 Yeah. Yeah. 127 00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:29,386 I'm glad you're back. 128 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,323 Hey, there. Thank you for watching Gus. 129 00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:32,456 You remember to feed him? 130 00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:34,145 Yes. 131 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,396 I don't believe you. 132 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,779 I really did. 133 00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:39,301 Good. 134 00:06:39,329 --> 00:06:41,749 [ Gasps ] $20?! 135 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,300 Whoo! Go put it in your piggy bank. 136 00:06:45,335 --> 00:06:46,295 Hey, Josh. 137 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:47,646 Hey. 138 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:51,003 And, uh, Sue, congratulations. 139 00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,341 On what? 140 00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:56,928 On your family. 141 00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:58,448 Thanks. 142 00:06:58,487 --> 00:07:00,487 What are you wearing? 143 00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:02,423 Walker's Point Collection. 144 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,976 -It looks good. -Okay. 145 00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:05,149 Come on. 146 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,913 Don't push someone when you're on top. 147 00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:08,263 Get off my property. 148 00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:10,909 [ Children laughing ] 149 00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:14,807 Joe: I had been so preoccupied that I forgot to ask someone 150 00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:17,638 to water my bean arch while I was away. 151 00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:20,608 Still, someone did. 152 00:07:20,647 --> 00:07:22,507 Must have been Sarah. 153 00:07:33,314 --> 00:07:34,874 Sarah? 154 00:07:34,902 --> 00:07:36,772 It's Joe. 155 00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:41,501 I just want to thank you for watering my beans. 156 00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:46,910 Well, you know how much my arch means to me, but I'm sorry. 157 00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:49,299 I don't want to talk about beans. 158 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,780 I wanted to apologize for going away like that. 159 00:07:52,817 --> 00:07:54,537 Aaah! 160 00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:57,127 [ Skunk squeaking ] 161 00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:02,168 Sarah: Joe? 162 00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:03,785 Joe? 163 00:08:03,828 --> 00:08:04,618 Joe? 164 00:08:04,656 --> 00:08:05,896 [ Knocks on door ] 165 00:08:05,933 --> 00:08:08,003 You all right? 166 00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,147 Hey! Hey, hey, hey! 167 00:08:47,181 --> 00:08:50,881 The story ends with the spray of the skunk! 168 00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:51,809 I'm sorry. 169 00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:53,391 I didn't mean to go that far, 170 00:08:53,429 --> 00:08:56,779 but we kissed in the tomato sauce. 171 00:08:56,812 --> 00:08:57,812 You're sick. 172 00:08:57,847 --> 00:08:59,747 [ Whispering ] We kissed in the tomato sauce. 173 00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,990 Can you give me a hand here? 174 00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:03,754 Okay. 175 00:09:05,821 --> 00:09:07,171 Wow. 176 00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:09,131 Very nice. 177 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:13,859 Sarah will be able to keep these preserved beans in her basement. 178 00:09:13,898 --> 00:09:17,518 They'll last for up to three to five years. 179 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:22,800 Uh, "Rick Steves' Europe" comes on in 20 minutes. 180 00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:25,388 You want to go outside one more time? 181 00:09:25,426 --> 00:09:27,286 Sure. 182 00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:29,875 ♪♪ 183 00:09:29,914 --> 00:09:32,054 Oh. 184 00:09:32,088 --> 00:09:33,118 Oh, boy. 185 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:34,328 It's even nicer than I thought out. 186 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,266 Yeah. It feels good out here. 187 00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:38,339 Yeah. I think so. 188 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,720 Here. I got it. 189 00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:43,202 Joe: The summer's bean crop was so plentiful 190 00:09:43,237 --> 00:09:46,787 that even after giving some away and canning others, 191 00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:49,617 we still have lots to harvest. 192 00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:51,628 After they dry on the stalk, 193 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:54,630 we'll pick them and bring them inside, 194 00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:58,323 remove the seeds by cracking away the shell, 195 00:09:58,356 --> 00:10:03,426 then laying the seeds out on newspaper to dry further. 196 00:10:03,464 --> 00:10:05,054 After another two weeks, 197 00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:08,397 we'll select the best ones to save for planting next year. 198 00:10:08,435 --> 00:10:11,155 And then we'll do it all over again. 199 00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,816 Yep. 200 00:10:12,853 --> 00:10:16,373 You ready to go back to the rat race? 201 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,548 Please don't mention that movie anymore. 202 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,903 I'm sorry. I forgot. 203 00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:24,490 Are you ready to go back to school? 204 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,450 Now, that movie you can mention anytime. 205 00:10:27,488 --> 00:10:39,808 ♪♪ 206 00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:42,086 All right. Let's not miss Rick. 207 00:10:42,124 --> 00:10:44,304 Oh, we can't miss Rick. 208 00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,963 I'm coming, Rick. 209 00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:51,442 I hope he talks about Paris. 210 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:53,618 He talks about Paris every time. 211 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,973 You know, he talks about Paris like you talk about beans. 212 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,690 Ha. Would you want to go sometime? 213 00:10:58,727 --> 00:11:00,207 No. 214 00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:01,965 How come? 215 00:11:02,006 --> 00:11:03,766 I -- I can't. 216 00:11:03,801 --> 00:11:06,111 Why? 217 00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:07,808 I'm on a freaking list. 14697

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.