Original subtitles

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Joe: I wonder what he's making.

Sarah: Are you awake?

Yeah.

Did I wake you up?

No, I haven't been able to fall asleep.

I'm sorry.

You know you're my country girl.

[ Laughs ] I hate it.

What was I thinking?

Of course coffee ice cream has caffeine.

Yeah, what do they think, we're going to eat it in the morning?

Hey, if we stay up all night,

at least we don't have school tomorrow.

That's true.

Hey.

Do you want to watch an Internet video?

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Maybe something relaxing to help us get to sleep.

I don't know if it's relaxing,

but Brad Kim sent me this on Monday,

and I think you'll find it entertaining.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

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What is this?

You'll see.

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Just right here.

Oh. Oh, this is...♪ Yeah, girl, damn, girl ♪

♪ You make me so dizzy ♪

♪ Don't stop, don't stop ♪

♪ And move that booty ♪Oh, my God.

Uh-huh.

♪ I dance, I'm fast ♪

♪ I like it slow, I like it fast ♪

Is that what happens in New York City?

I think so.♪ I love it, girl, let's party ♪

Wait, watch.

Uh-oh.

Oh, oh, that's Janeane Garofalo.

Uh-huh, from "24."

Oh, my God.

♪ Those moves are so classic ♪

♪ Your vibe, me likely ♪

♪ I like what you've got ♪

Okay, thank you. Thank you.

Stop the music, please.

Oh, that's Artie Bucco from "Sopranos."

Yeah, John Ventimiglia.

Janeane Garofalo,

would you wear my ring on your cone?

Will you marry me?

[ Both laugh ]

Yes.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Your moves, so classic ♪

♪ Those dudes are so bouncy ♪

♪ Your vibe, me likey ♪

♪♪

Okay, that was very good.

Yeah.

Would you like a big proposal like that?

No, I hate crowds.

I prefer to be proposed to in private, as well.

Okay, here, let me show you this one.

Man: Can you read that okay?

October of 1985 this expired.

Wow, '85.

And this, I don't think it got punctured...

A lot of hijackings that year.

...because...

Well, let's see.

[ Sniffing ]

It doesn't smell bad.

No, it definitely smells bad.

Of course it smells bad.

Doesn't smell bad at all.

Ew.

Would you eat that?

Yeah, right. Why?

You got some old soup in your basement?

No, I rotate my soups.

The next can... Here.

...I'm going to o--

Let me show you this one I found.

Hello, this is Greg Allison from Green Greg's Garden

and Worm Farm coming to you straight from my worm farm,

and today we're going to talk about worms.

We're going to talk about what are the five key things

you need to know to raise worms

so that you can successfully raise them

and so that they don't die on you.

I'm going to tell you what most people do wrong

that kills their worms and how to avoid it.

How not to kill your worms, that is the last thing

I'm going to tell you and is the most important thing

I can tell you of anything I ever tell you.

This video is 36 minutes long.

It's interesting.

Look at his other videos.

Hello, this is Greg Allison from Green Greg's Garden

and Worm Farm coming to you today

in the second installment of the "Grid Down" series.

In the first installment, I...

A channel we can both enjoy.

...DHS didn't tell us.

In this segment, I'm going to talk about root causes,

what can bring down the grid.

I'm going to talk about the likelihood of those causes.

Do we have to watch this now?

No, but will you send it to me so I can watch it at home?

All right.

You should really get a smart phone.

You know your iPhone's significant locations folder

tracks where you've been and for how long?

It's okay.

I don't mind them knowing how much I go to the library.

Here, let me show you this one.

...for thousands of y--

So I just finished scraping off

the larger spines of the cactus,

and I cut out the outer edge with my knife.

Now, we can eat this raw, but we're going to cook it

because it releases more nutrients,

and it tastes better.

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Now, you're going to want to cook it on either side

for about 3 1/2 minutes.

Cool guy.

That's my ex.

Oh.

I don't watch it because I miss him.

I just think it's funny to see him eat weird stuff.

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I get it.

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Mmm, that's some good cactus.

So hardworking, my country girl.

No, no.

Go on and feed them chickens, girl.

Stop.

Wow. Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Here, I found this video of a local celebrity.

Um, you might not recognize him,

but you'll definitely recognize his voice.

Hey, everyone. It's your favorite deejay,

Billy Ripp, here with 102.1 WKUP.

I'm here today because I've been raising my pet goose,

Blazer GG, for a few years now, and today is finally the day

I'ma grab that goose by the neck

and swing around it my head like a hammer throw.

[ Cheering ] Come here, goosie.

Come on, Blazer.That's a grown man.

Who wants to see me grab the goose?

[ Cheering ]

Mnh-mnh.

Skip.

Have you seen this one?

Probably not.

I've been a salamander guy for most of my life.

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[ Both laugh ]

This one always gets me.

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I think this is, like, supposed to be for high people,

but I kind of like it.

It's cool, right?

I think so. Here.

I think I know a video I would watch if I was high.

What is it?

It's called anime.

Mm, not for me. All right.

Here, could I show you one?

Sure.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, shoot. Oh, shoot.

I'm sorry. Here we go.

If it doesn't play in three seconds,

I'm going back to bed.

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My students turned me on to this one.

Mm? Yeah.

Still going? Oh, my God.

What's going on here?

This is the one you were talking about the other day?

Yeah. Oh, no.

Let me show this one.

This one's great.

Another bald magician.

I've seen it. Okay, okay.

Here.

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[ Birds chirping ]

Come on. Let's go outside.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

I want to check out something.

Okay.

It's a miracle.

Joe.

Sarah, they're touching.

It actually worked.

Wow.

No, no, no. Too soon. Too soon.

Okay. Oh, look.

Reach up and pick a bean.

Wow, look at this thing.

It did it! It did it!Look at this thing right there!

[ Laughter ]

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

Come on. Let's go get breakfast.

Breakfast! Okay.

Come on, my country girl.

[ Laughs ] No.

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