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1
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:37,799
♪♪
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00:00:37,796 --> 00:00:46,286
♪♪
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00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:54,877
♪♪
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00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:58,092
The grocery store
is not just the place
8
00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:02,552
to pick up roast beef and milk
on your way home from work.
9
00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:04,195
It's more than that.
10
00:01:04,202 --> 00:01:09,032
To me, the supermarket is
an immersive theater experience,
11
00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:13,634
like a haunted house
or seeing Santa at the mall.
12
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:16,035
The smell of fresh bread.
13
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:19,041
The feeling of the cart handle.
14
00:01:19,044 --> 00:01:21,224
I want to be a part of it.
15
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:26,359
In our go-go world of
"Just order it online, honey,"
16
00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:29,302
it's nice to know
that at the grocery store,
17
00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:32,296
there's always
a show going on.
18
00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:37,299
And this is the start.
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♪♪
20
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:47,067
Hello.
21
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:49,012
My name is Joe Pera.
22
00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:52,245
Every Tuesday, I come
to my grocery store
23
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:55,120
to reprise my role as shopper.
24
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:59,015
It's a fun role
but also quite challenging.
25
00:01:59,015 --> 00:02:01,975
According to
the Food Marketing Institute,
26
00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:05,853
from 1975 to 2008,
27
00:02:05,849 --> 00:02:08,509
the number of products
in the average supermarket
28
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:13,307
swelled from 9,000
to over 46,000.
29
00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:17,615
I don't know about you,
but that's more than I need.
30
00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:26,491
Yes. Yes. Yes.
31
00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:28,771
I'm not doing my impression
of Jim Carrey
32
00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:32,149
in the 2008 film "Yes Man."
33
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,502
In my mind, I just asked myself
34
00:02:34,499 --> 00:02:37,949
three simple questions
about this product.
35
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,190
Should I eat this?
36
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,713
Will I eat this?
37
00:02:40,712 --> 00:02:42,652
Can I afford this food?
38
00:02:42,645 --> 00:02:46,335
If I say yes to all three,
I'll get it.
39
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:51,785
In the modern supermarket
where I can have anything,
40
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:54,732
I must draw the line myself.
41
00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:57,866
Like the casino,
it promises good times.
42
00:02:57,867 --> 00:03:01,457
But without restraint,
I will get ruined.
43
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:11,500
Yes. No. Yes.
44
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,951
I'm always struck by the colors
of Swiss chard
45
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,572
but never know
what to do with it
46
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:18,514
and end up chucking it
over the fence.
47
00:03:21,339 --> 00:03:24,239
My budget each week is $70.
48
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,898
To keep myself honest,
I'll pre-write a check
49
00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:31,866
and not even bring cash
or a credit card to the store.
50
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:35,526
With this check, I aim
to get the calories necessary
51
00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:38,735
to be an effective
grandson, boyfriend,
52
00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:40,875
and United States citizen.
53
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:44,185
And if I stick to my list,
I should be all right.
54
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:47,369
Coffee, butter, oatmeal.
55
00:03:47,365 --> 00:03:49,875
I'm sorry.
This is TMI.
56
00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:53,444
If you want to see my list,
just go to
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joeperagrocerystore
foodlist1945.com.
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00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:01,930
Leave a comment of
something you think I'd enjoy.
59
00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:06,066
Stop. Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.
60
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:09,703
Hi, Sue. Hi, Nicole.
Great game last week.
61
00:04:09,697 --> 00:04:11,217
Thanks.
Hi, Joe.
62
00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:15,946
She was like a pre-teen female
Mark McGwire out there.
63
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,425
Thanks.
64
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:18,779
Where are the rest
of the kids?
65
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:20,565
Kelsey is at swim class
66
00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,260
and Josh wanted to
stay in the car.
67
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,712
I don't know. He likes
to listen to the radio.
68
00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:28,102
[ R&B music playing ]
69
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,885
I used to be like that
at his age too.
70
00:04:30,891 --> 00:04:33,381
I'm surprised you trust him
with the car keys, though.
71
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:35,546
Oh, I just know
that he can't reach the pedals.
72
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:37,551
He's got my muscular,
short legs.
73
00:04:37,553 --> 00:04:39,663
Here's your chickens, hon.Thanks.
74
00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:42,558
Ooh, rotisserie chicken.
That's my favorite.
75
00:04:42,558 --> 00:04:45,288
Yeah, I was just picking up
something quick for dinner.
76
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,005
It is kind of
messed up, though,
77
00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:49,670
how a fully cooked chicken
is $5.99
78
00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:52,808
but a raw one
is $9.85.
79
00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:54,809
I try not to think about why.
80
00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:56,431
Are you having a party?
81
00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:58,404
What?
Oh, no, I --
82
00:04:58,401 --> 00:05:00,681
I get an extra one
for Mike.
83
00:05:00,679 --> 00:05:03,479
Wow. Mike eats a whole chicken
by himself?
84
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:04,605
Yeah.
Wow.
85
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,104
Yeah.
He's on this new diet
86
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:08,138
where he eats just one
all-protein meal a day.
87
00:05:08,135 --> 00:05:10,685
Heard about it on
"The Joe Rogan Experience."
88
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,589
Fascinating.Yeah.
89
00:05:12,588 --> 00:05:14,208
It's actually horrible,
Joe.
90
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,630
He acts like a brat all day
because he hasn't eaten.
91
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,106
He's always dropping tools
around the garage
92
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,280
because he's lightheaded.
93
00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:21,774
He forgets stuff.
It's like he's menopausal.
94
00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:24,009
He gets home from work
and he takes his chicken,
95
00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,463
and he goes straight
to the basement
96
00:05:25,463 --> 00:05:27,263
without talking to anyone.
97
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,637
Then he strips naked,
gets in the shower,
98
00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:33,509
and eats the chicken with both
hands like a goddamn raccoon.
99
00:05:33,505 --> 00:05:35,675
Then what he's done,
100
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,610
he turns on the water and washes
the grease off his body,
101
00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:40,204
leaving the chicken skin
and bones in the drain
102
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:43,961
for me to clean up.
It's unbelievable.
103
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:46,834
Well, at least
he's losing weight.
104
00:05:46,829 --> 00:05:50,319
He's put on weight.
105
00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:53,315
I'm sorry.
106
00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:55,218
We got run.
107
00:05:56,321 --> 00:05:59,051
That's why
you can't be on your phone.
108
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:03,020
Well, something's going on.
109
00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:06,187
I guess if I've learned anything
from U.S. foreign policy
110
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:08,823
in the later half
of the 20th century,
111
00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:11,156
it's that it's best not
to get involved.
112
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,413
Man: Samples available.
113
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,716
Oh. I almost forgot.
114
00:06:14,719 --> 00:06:17,379
It's sample day.
115
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That's German select honey ham
from Schweinkopf Meats.
116
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Thanks for trying.
117
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,522
Hey, Joe.
118
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,761
Hey, Fred.
How's business?
119
00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:26,043
Well, for me,
it's always good.
120
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,940
You know I'm in
the free business.
121
00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:29,869
If you don't mind me
saying, Fred,
122
00:06:29,872 --> 00:06:32,222
you're the leading man
of the grocery store.
123
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:34,879
[ Speaks French ]
124
00:06:34,877 --> 00:06:36,217
I don't know
what that means,
125
00:06:36,223 --> 00:06:38,743
but can you tell us a bit
about what you do?
126
00:06:38,743 --> 00:06:40,333
You know, Joe,
I'm gonna tell you
127
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:43,370
I got the best freakin' job
in the world.
128
00:06:43,368 --> 00:06:46,338
I get to give away
lifelong memories for free
129
00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:48,576
and provide people
with risk-free eating
130
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,550
adventures in the middle
of their day.
131
00:06:50,548 --> 00:06:52,578
Well,
what's the adventure today?
132
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,244
I was hoping
I was gonna see you.
133
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:56,381
I know what kind of freak
you are for ham.
134
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:57,871
I love new ham.
135
00:06:57,865 --> 00:07:00,585
It's a new product
called German select honey ham
136
00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:02,942
from Schweinkopf Meats.
137
00:07:02,939 --> 00:07:05,739
Joe, let me tell you,
this stuff is just --
138
00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:11,395
I mean, wow, it is just out of
this world freakin' phenomenal.
139
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:12,736
I'm excited.
140
00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,812
And I personally guarantee
that this ham
141
00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:16,883
is going to
change your life.
142
00:07:24,582 --> 00:07:26,072
It tastes like honey.
143
00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:29,236
Is that phenomenal
or what?
144
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,931
It's absolutely phenomenal.
145
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:34,423
Just a phenomenal ham.
146
00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:38,839
Joe, do you need this?
147
00:07:38,837 --> 00:07:41,937
Yes. Yes. Yes.
148
00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:44,150
Thank you, Fred.
149
00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:46,603
My pleasure.
I hope you enjoy that ham.
150
00:07:46,604 --> 00:07:47,984
Let me know how it goes,
will you?
151
00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:49,644
I mean,
that stuff is amazing.
152
00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:50,751
I know.
153
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:52,606
Phenomenal.
Thank you, Fred.
154
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,030
Did I mention that before?Yes.
155
00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:55,785
All right, buddy.
Have a great week.
156
00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:57,265
You too.Always good to see you.
157
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:58,959
Thanks for coming.
158
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,451
To prepare for Fred
and his temptations,
159
00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:04,856
I build a fixable point
into my budget.
160
00:08:04,863 --> 00:08:08,453
$5 free to spend
on something fun.
161
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:11,703
That way, the grocery store
can bend me
162
00:08:11,698 --> 00:08:14,108
but not break me.
163
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,984
You wouldn't know it
by looking at him,
164
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:19,048
but Fred was in prison
for 14 years
165
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:22,160
before the grocery store
gave him a second act.
166
00:08:22,156 --> 00:08:24,776
[ Fred speaking indistinctly ]
167
00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:28,846
They put the freezer aisle
right before checkout
168
00:08:28,853 --> 00:08:30,683
so that your items won't thaw.
169
00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:32,102
It's considerate.
170
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,997
But because of Fred's ham,
171
00:08:33,996 --> 00:08:36,616
there's no budget left
for ice cream.
172
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:38,659
This is going to be tough
for me.
173
00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:48,076
♪♪
174
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:51,909
Joe: Look at all this ice cream.
I love it.
175
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:54,150
I should keep my eyes ahead.
176
00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:56,714
As much as I like it here,
177
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:59,058
now is when the guilt sets in,
178
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:02,535
wondering why we have
seven flavors of mustard
179
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,862
while others have one
or zero flavors mustard.
180
00:09:06,856 --> 00:09:10,336
I don't always think about
where all this comes from.
181
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,722
Sarah's right. I should.
182
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:16,634
I've never been here when
the supermarket's not full.
183
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:22,035
It's impressive, perplexing,
comforting, and wasteful.
184
00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:24,874
But since this is
the way things are set up,
185
00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:28,224
I feel no choice
but to participate.
186
00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:32,712
And if the supermarket
became obsolete, I'd miss it.
187
00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:34,090
There's a chance it might.
188
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,060
I heard a drink was developed
189
00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:38,958
that provides
all the nutrition you need.
190
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:40,927
It's called cold beer.
191
00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,545
Just kidding.
192
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:46,208
Did it.
193
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:51,870
Well, tell Nana if I win,
I'm taking her for dinner.
194
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:54,557
Will do.
195
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,289
$66.47.
196
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:58,905
Are you sure, Louise?
Yeah.
197
00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:01,978
The 24-ounce Alfredo sauce
is buy one, get one.
198
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:03,880
Oh, boy. Hold on.
199
00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,259
He'll be right back.
200
00:10:05,259 --> 00:10:16,959
♪♪
201
00:10:16,961 --> 00:10:19,311
Sorry. Excuse me.
202
00:10:19,308 --> 00:10:24,658
♪♪
203
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,938
$70.
204
00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:33,561
It's real, I swear.
205
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:35,533
How nice.
206
00:10:35,531 --> 00:10:38,021
I'll be able to have
a few scoops tonight,
207
00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:41,466
which is sweet
because today is my birthday.
208
00:10:41,468 --> 00:10:44,948
I don't like to make
a big deal of it.
209
00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:48,414
Anyhow, what a great show.
210
00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:51,616
♪♪
211
00:10:51,616 --> 00:10:52,926
Bravo.
212
00:10:52,928 --> 00:11:00,868
♪♪
213
00:11:00,867 --> 00:11:09,007
♪♪
15190
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