Original subtitles

All right. All right, everybody!

- My daughter needs a pink spot. - Never mind now.

You'll all get a chance.

Herbie. Come here, Herbie.

- We were here first. - The mothers again.

- Forget the mothers. - Get 'em out.

I don't want the mothers in the wings. I don't want 'em in the house!

They're only tryin' to help the kids.

Don't argue with me, Herbie.

Mothers, please, will you get out? Get off stage!

I want you to come forward one at a time.

And now let's have the first wee lad on Uncle Jocko's Kiddie Kapers.

Take 'em each from the top, then cut to the last eight.

All right!

Uncle Jocko presents Clarence and his clarinet.

Go ahead, kid.

Cut to the end! To the end, kiddo!

And who does Uncle Jocko have here?

Baby June and Company.

I'm "and Company." I mean, I assist.

That is until Mama finds out what I do best. She's workin' on it.

You seem like nice kids, but I've only got time for half your routine.

Let's have it fast, forte and off. Okay?

Herbie, come here.

That one's gotta get the contract.

The one with the balloons.

The one that gets it is the one with talent.

- I'm the boss and I pick the cast. - And I'm getting sick of it, George.

Gus, hit this doll with a surprise pink when she does her turn, huh?

And now Uncle Jocko presents Baby June and Company.

"Let me entertain you

"Let me see you smile

"I will do some kicks

"I will do some tricks

"I'll tell you a story

"I'll dance when she's done"

Sing out, Louise! Sing out!

Now quiet. Who said that?

You're behind, Louise. Catch up, dear, catch up.

Hold it! Hold it!

Get off the stage, please!

Didn't I see your sensitive face at the Odd Fellows Hall?

I'm not an Odd Fellow.

- Knight of Pythias. - I'm not a Knight of Pythias.

- Aren't you anything? - I'm an Elk.

I should have known it by your good manners.

My father's an Elk, too. 1853 Seattle, Washington.

I got his tooth here someplace. I'm an Honorable Elk.

Hi, Bill.

Mind holding Chowsie? That's short for Chow Mein.

Mama just loves chow mein. Stop sucking your thumb, Louise.

I just marvel how you can make a performer into an artist.

So you can help my little girls by giving them a nice loud "da-de-da de-da-da."

Mr. Zipser, when my girls do their specialty would you ad-lib it?

- Sure. - Show 'em, girls.

- You're the boss. What do I do? - Get her out!

Mr. Electrical! Would you please spot Baby June?

The one with all the movement. Each movement has a meaning of it's own.

Hit her with something pink. Or would you prefer amber?

I never can make up my mind what color to use.

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

She's ready for the big time.

We'd be there too if we had first-class management.

Big time?

Open time, layoff time, big time. Boy, is she...

Is that so? Don't you laugh. Don't you dare laugh!

Please, let us get on.

- We're not finished. - You are according to me.

'Cause you're playing favorites with Miss Balloon? Louise heard every word.

How dare you let that untalented balloon block up my babies!

I won't leave this stage till she does. Have you no loyalty to the Elks?

- It's not a question of Elks, but of talent. - My girls have the only talent on the stage.

I'll tell that to the editor of the Gazette. Which it so happens, he's an Elk.

I'll also shout out loud the whole audition is bein' fixed because of her.

You get in the wings and wait.

Thank you, Professor.

Thank you, Jocko.

Herbie, come here.

Thank you, Mr. Zipser.

I don't care who she shouts on, we sign the balloon.

You sign, I resign!

Hit it, girls!

Uncle Jocko was a gent. He quit.

And I made the usual arrangements with my wedding rings.

Pawned them.

All three of them. And we all started back to Pa's house in Seattle to refinance.

We were like an advancing army on the big time, backfirin' all the way.

Mama, I've been thinking. How come I have three fathers?

Because you're lucky.

Does it have to be this cold, Mama?

Breathe hard on each other, kids, and hold that Thermos up against you.

Why does this pile of junk have to be stopping all the time?

Because it isn't going, Mama.

The trouble's got to be in either the universal joint or the rear end.

Now, now. No dirty talk.

Don't worry. Whatever it is, I'll fix it.

I think something melted.

Look, Mama.

What are we gonna do?

We'll break our jump.

There must be a theater in this hamlet.

We'll get a hitch into town, which means we'll go see one of Mama's brothers.

Have you got brothers in this town, too, Mama?

Practically all men in America are Mama's brothers.

Like your grandpa says:

"You can always tell the size of a man's heart by the button in his lapel."

What would Grandpa say about this automobile, Mama?

He'd ask if it was insured.

It is, isn't it?

Only for fire.

Get everything out.

I smell smoke!

Mr. Willis, don't give me that stuff about what the other salesman used to sell you.

How much of his candy did you sell? Practically zero. He steered you wrong.

You're not on the ball with your patrons selling plain chocolate bars.

It's like women wearing bustles. Now this is an era of flaming youth.

Of flappers, of shifters. It's a world that crunches.

What should you sell? Crunchy Butterfingers.

Crispy Baby Ruths covered with our nourishing milk chocolate, safe for a baby.

I'm gonna put you down for 100 gross, Mr. Willis.

I personally guarantee you'll reorder within a month.

- Ten dozen chocolate bars. - You're cheating yourself. Here.

Ask her what her kids eat.

Butterfingers, so help me.

I speak as a mother. Who'd argue with a mother?

Not me. Twenty dozen assorted.

Are you the woman Buffalo Mr. Beckman called me about?

I certainly am. I came to discuss the act.

- Now, how big is your orchestra? - Three pieces. Piano, cover and stool.

- What kind of act do you do? - It's great. I caught it in LA.

- You two a team? - I've never seen him before.

I speak only as a pro.

Well, sometimes I play an act when I got a weak movie.

Tell you the truth, lady, I got a weak movie.

But this town's very brotherhood-minded Buffalo-wise.

Are you sure you're a lady Buffalo?

Honorary.

- Now we can talk turkey. - Turkey's 60-40.

That's a deal.

She gets the 60, you get the 40.

But no guarantee.

With a town full of Buffaloes, she doesn't need a guarantee.

I don't like it, but I'm stuck with my Buffalo oath.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go to the ladies room and fix the sink.

- Thanks for getting me that 60. - Thanks for getting me this order.

Thanks for saying you caught the act in LA.

I did. Hello, Chowsie.

I was Uncle Jocko.

Uncle Jocko! Well, where's your goggles and tam-o'-shanter?

How come you're sellin' candy?

I quit the profession, thanks to you.

Me?

You triggered it down in LA.

I had this candy bar proposition for a long time and I'm singing like a bird.

I tip the Fedora to you. Name is Herbie Sommers.

Hovick. Rose Hovick.

How come you quit the profession to become a candy butcher?

Because, lady, Rose...

The profession is makin' a buck the hard way.

Not if it's in your blood.

When you say that, you look like a pioneer woman without a frontier.

Is that good or bad?

It's good. You've got what it takes. You won't let the world push you around.

Say, it's that fashionable cocktail hour again, Rose.

I'd like to buy you a small booze and a bite to eat.

Now, there's a local speak which has fair gin but dandy chow mein...

...if you happen to go in for Chinese food.

Is there any other kind?

Say, you're a regular Irene Castle, Rose.

Everybody in my family is except Louise.

- But you're working on it. - You bet I am.

She must be able to do somethin'. But June is already the show-biz whiz.

She's a worker all right.

I'd like to see her in a big flash act. A lot of scenery.

Maybe six little girls behind her. All brunettes to show off her blondness.

To really show her off, you oughta back her up with boys, like Ziegfeld does.

What does he know about vaudeville? My mind's made up, it'll be girls.

No, you're wrong, Rose, it oughta be boys.

I don't need any advice from a candy butcher.

Check, please.

Herbie, don't get so mad.

I know I need advice. I know I need management.

- I know everybody in the business. - Who?

- Later, boy, later. - Yes, ma'am.

Who don't I know? That's a better question.

In my time, I've met them all: Mr. Albee, Mr. Loew, even Mr. Goldstone.

You know what Mr. Goldstone says when he sees me?

What?

He says, "Hello, Herbie."

Hello, Herbie.

Hello, Rose.

I like you.

You certainly didn't show it when we auditioned for you in LA.

We had so many stage mothers there...

- I hate to see mothers exploiting their kids. - Not me.

I'm a mother first and don't you forget it.

That's why I'm taking the girls back to Seattle to my father's house.

So that June can go to the dentist and Louise can get her tonsils out.

I knew you were a good mother. Wanna know something?

I'm crazy for mothers.

Yeah? Anybody who likes mothers so much should have been a father.

I never married. I had five sisters. The ugly one didn't marry until a year ago.

She's pregnant now.

I don't like dirty talk.

- I apologize. - No need to. You're a gent and I like gents.

Does that mean you'd consider marrying again?

Not me. I don't mean for instance, but anybody?

After three husbands it takes a lot o' butter to get you back in the frying pan.

How much butter, Rose?

That all depends on who's dishing it out. This time he'd have to be in the profession.

Why? After 20 years of show business...

No, you kind of breathe better in the real world.

- Funny. - What?

Us.

I like you, but I don't want marriage.

You like me. You don't want show business.

That seems to leave you there and me here.

Now that depends on how you look at it.

You look at what we don't have. I look at what we do have.

"Funny

"You're a stranger who's come here

"Come from another town

"Funny

"I'm a stranger myself here

"Small world, isn't it?

"Funny

"You're a man who goes travelling

"Rather than settlin' down

"Funny

"'Cause I love to go travellin'

"Small world, isn't it?

"We have so much in common

"It's a phenomenon

"We could pool our resources

"By joining forces

"From now on

"Lucky

"You're a man who likes children

"That's an important sign

"Lucky

"I'm a woman with children

"Small world, isn't it?

"Funny, isn't it?

"Small and funny

"And fine"

Sometimes it's a real fine world, Rose...

...like tonight.

Yeah.

But there's tomorrow.

Tomorrow I gotta get those kids on a train and, gee, Herbie, how they hate trains.

Where's your next stop?

I'm goin' back east to Chicago and the home office.

Chicago?

Do you know Mr. Weber of the Weber Theater in Chicago?

He likes kid acts. Maybe you could talk to him.

Be a cinch.

Might also be a cinch for me to drive you and your beautiful family to Seattle.

- I couldn't ask you to go out of your way. - Why not?

Seattle's just a hop, skip and a jump...

I wouldn't mind a hop, skip and a jump, if you'd sit in the front seat with me.

And I like company, especially children.

You like kumquat? Fortune cookies?

- No, I want the check now, though. - Yes, sir.

I have a suggestion.

If you'd like to test my driving, just hop into the old flivver right now.

I'll show you the view from Lookout Mountain.

Sure, Herbie. Just wait'll I get my hat.

And my hatpin.

So everything was comin' up roses. Herbie drove us all the way to Seattle.

It was a pleasure to have a man behind the wheel.

All right, let's face it, it was a pleasure to have a man.

This is the end of the line, Rose. I'll sure be missing you all a lot.

- I owe you money for lunches and stuff. - Mark it on ice.

Grandpa!

- Hello, sweethearts. - Hi, Grandpa.

- I've been worried crazy. - You worry too much, Pa.

I want you to meet Mr. Sommers, a very big gentleman in the candy game.

- Herbie, this is my father. - Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir.

Glad to meet you.

Did the express company deliver our valises?

Yeah, to the station, collect.

Pa was head of the baggage room at the Kings St. Station.

Pa also plays the piano good. Pa could've been a real pro.

You just stop with that show talk.

Guess I'll be shovin'. I'll be seeing ya, Rose.

I'll be seeing ya, Herbie.

I'll be seeing ya, kids.

I'll be seeing ya, Herbie.

I'll be seeing ya.

I'll be seeing ya. More show talk.

- Goodbye, Rose. - So long, Herbie.

"Act opens Weber Theater, Chicago. Split week beginning April 20th.

"$300. Agreement calls for four boys and two girls.

"Confirm and rush photos. Kindest personal regards.

"Love, Herbie P.S. Don't forget, four boys."

Four boys. I gotta teach that Herbie not to be so pig-headed.

I think Herbie's right, Ma. Boys would be good in the act.

But they better have talent!

Whose act is this?

We've gotta get some dollars to get to Chicago.

Give me the jewelry, kids.

Mama, do we have to stay in show business?

Hurry up, darling.

Honest, Louise! How are you going to get the boys, Mama?

We'll get 'em. Louise can be a boy. We got that jiggin' kid from Klamath Falls.

Herbie and I'll get the others.

- How're we gonna pay them? - Experience'll be their pay.

If I can hock this stuff, I'll get a down payment for costumes and scenery.

Then we'll squeeze money out of Grandpa...

...and we're on our way to Chicago and the big time.

I gotta get that Reo I saw for sale for 88 simoleons.

Pa! Oh, Pa!

Yeah?

Maybe you think I don't know you been connivin' behind my back.

I didn't want to tell you till it was sure. We're booked, Pa.

I got almost enough for incidentals. I know you'll put up the rest.

Oh, bunk!

Something wonderful will happen for my girls.

Bunk!

I've had a dream, Pa.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself, fooling our kids with those dreams?

They're real dreams and I'll make 'em come real for my kids.

What are you, a crazy woman?

Heaven put you here because it meant for you to stay right here.

Heaven helps those who help themselves. And I need your help, Pa!

You squeezed the last penny out of me you'll ever get!

It's too late for me. It's for my kids!

It's not too late for you to get a husband to support you.

After three husbands, I'm through with marriage.

I want to enjoy myself. I want my girls to enjoy themselves.

And travel like Mama does.

Yeah, and you'll leave them just like your mother left you.

Never! I don't want them to sit their lives away the way I did.

And the way you do, with nothing but a calendar to tell you...

...one day is different from the next.

And that plaque!

From your grateful railroad company, to say congratulations.

For 50 years you did the same dull thing every dull day.

That plaque is a great tribute. It's solid gold.

Yeah?

How much could you get for it?

Rose, if you...

What good's it doing hanging there?

That plaque belongs there.

Like you belong home instead of running around the country like a gypsy.

Anybody that stays home is dead.

If I die it won't be from sitting, it'll be from fighting to get up and get out!

"Some people can get a thrill

"Knitting sweaters and sittin' still

"That's okay for some people

"Who don't know they're alive

"Some people can thrive and bloom

"Livin' life in a livin' room

"That's perfect for some people

"Of 105

"But I at least gotta try

"When I think of all the sights That I gotta see yet

"All the places I gotta play All the things that I gotta be yet

"Come on, Papa, what do you say?

"Some people can be content

"Playin' bingo and payin' rent

"That's peachy for some people

"For some humdrum people to be

"But some people ain't me!

"I had a dream

"A wonderful dream, Papa

"All about June and the Orpheum Circuit Give me a chance and I know I can work it

"I had a dream

"Just as real as can be, Papa

"There I was in Mr. Orpheum's office

"And he was saying to me, 'Rose

"'Get yourself some new orchestrations New routines and red velvet curtains

"'Get a feathered hat for the baby Photographs in front of the theater

"'Get an agent and in jig time You'll be bein' booked in the big time! '

"Oh, what a dream

"A wonderful dream, Papa

"And all that I need

"Is 88 bucks, Papa

"That's what he said, Papa

"Only 88 bucks"

You ain't gettin' eight cents from me, Rose.

I'll get it someplace else then. But I'll get it and I'll get my kids out!

"Goodbye to blueberry pie

"Good riddance to all the socials I had to go to

"All the lodges I had to play All the Shriners I said hello to

"Hey, New York, I'm comin' your way

"Some people sit on their butts

"Got the dream, yeah, but not the guts

"That's livin' for some people

"For some humdrum people I suppose

"Well, they can stay and rot!

"But not Rose!"

We blew into the Windy City to break in our new flash act.

Herbie, makin' out like Uncle Jocko, got us the boys.

The only thing that bugged me was our spot on the bill...

...following some unknown stand-up comic.

My girl is so dumb she was fired from the five-and-ten cents store...

...because she couldn't remember the prices.

And her uncle, she's got an uncle, I won't say that he...

...he drank too much you see, but two years after he died...

...his liver won a Charleston contest.

How about that one, huh?

Well, listen, I can't go any bigger than that.

So good night, folks. I'll be seeing you soon.

Well, let's see your kids follow that.

What a ham!

Yeah. He'll never get anyplace.

"Extra, extra!

"Hey, look at the headlines Historical news is being made

"Extra, extra!

"They're drawing a red line Around the biggest scoop of the decade

"A barrel o' charm A fabulous thrill

"The biggest little headline in vaudeville

"Presenting in person

"That 3-foot-3 bundle of dynamite

"Baby June!"

Hello, everybody. My name is June.

What's yours?

"Let me entertain you

"Let me make you smile

"Let me do a few tricks Some old and some new tricks

"I'm very versatile

"And if you're real good I'll make you feel good

"I want your spirits to climb

"So let me entertain you

"And we'll have a real good time Yes, sir

"We'll have a real good time"

Mr. Conductor, if you please.

Was I right about June or was I right?

In the next couple of years she killed the people on the big time.

We were Dainty June now and we headlined the Orpheum Circuit.

Boy, was I ever happy.

My dream was in high gear.

But after a while the booking offices were in low.

Instead of 52 weeks solid, the next year we signed for only 44.

And the following season, we laid off as much as we played.

But we worked more than most.

Like this split week Herbie booked in Newark.

Newark is in New Jersey and New Jersey is only one big deep breath from New York.

And in New York was Grantziger's Tivoli.

And that was my real big dream.

But did you ever notice something's always wakin'you up?

It ain't even noon yet. Turn it off.

Please!

Turn it off, Plug.

Was that the alarm?

No, it was Major Bowes and you just got the gong.

Surprise!

Happy birthday, Louise.

Happy birthday, Louise.

Wild Indians. Wild Indians, that's what you are.

Happy birthday, darling.

- Come on, make a wish. - Yeah.

Oh, I wish...

Oh, Mama, I wish...

That greedy monkey ate a piece out of the cake.

Bad, Gigolo. Bad, bad, bad.

Blow out the candles, Louise.

Say, that'd make a good coat.

There's only ten candles on this cake.

What do you care? You're not eating candles.

Yeah, but she only had ten candles last year and the year before that.

Come to think of it, she's had ten candles for the last...

Stop right there.

As long as we have this act, nobody is over 12.

And you all know it. Except me, of course.

You can give Louise her presents while I see if the chow mein is warmed up.

Chow mein?

It's my birthday.

But chow mein for breakfast?

Why not? There's an egg roll, isn't there?

If your mother paid us a salary, we could've all bought you presents.

But it's more fun to clip from the five-and-dime anyway.

It's a catcher's mitt and a big league baseball.

Gee, thanks, Yonkers.

I clipped a bowl of goldfish...

...but they caught me, so I drew a fish instead.

It's beautiful.

Here, Louise.

Oh, June.

You shouldn't have done that.

Gee, what a beautiful box.

Oh, it's lined in velvet.

Sure, it's for diamonds and like that...

...because someday, who knows, you might get some.

It's beautiful. Thank you.

Here, I should've wrapped it. It's a chicken and it plays music.

You don't have to wrap a music box, Tulsa.

Well, happy birthday, Plug.

Happy birthday, Tulsa. I mean, you're welcome.

All right, only one egg roll apiece. I counted them. No more.

Take it easy. Don't claw each other to death.

Now, I wanna tell you about a dream I had.

It's really in your honor, comin' on your birthday.

Baby, you'll love it. You all will.

Children, it's a new act.

That ain't a dream, it's a miracle.

In this act I saw June singing a song in like a barnyard.

And then...

...a cow came onstage.

A cow?

That's pretty sophisticated.

Not a real cow. Sort of a dancin' cow, with a great big smile.

That cow...

That cow leaned right over my bed and spoke to me.

What did the cow say?

Mrs. Hovick!

I am not cooking in here, Mr. Kringelein. That cow, in front of...

- Open up this door! - I'm dressing. That cow...

Mrs. Hovick!

I'll call you tomorrow when I'm finished. Now about that cow.

Mrs. Hovick!

That dear, talented cow looked me right in the eye and said:

"Rose, if you want to get back on the Orpheum Circuit...

"...you put me in your act."

You know what I'm gonna do?

You're gonna pay that talented cow and not us.

I'm not payin' anybody but I'm takin' that cow's advice.

I'm gonna call the new act, "Dainty June and Her Farm Boys."

I'll put the cow in the act, and Chowsie and the monkey.

Everybody works. Let me tell you this: Kids, this is real big time.

I really had an inspiration.

No cooking, Mrs. Hovick.

The very idea of entering a woman's boudoir without knocking!

Where's your hot plate?

- Where's your search warrant? - In all my years running a theatrical hotel...

Leave, or your name'll be mud throughout the entire theatrical profession.

You know the rules. No cooking.

No sterno stoves. No percolators.

No electric irons turned upside down. No dogs and no...

Happy birthday, darling. This is Herbie's birthday present to you.

Why, it's a damned zoo.

Profanity in front of my babies. June, get the Bible. Get the Bible.

I'll report you to the Board of Health, and my friends. Hello, Gladys.

You can just pack up this menagerie and get out of here!

You'll have to throw us out, you heartless animal hater.

- Send for the SPCA. - Send for the police.

Why, I rented this producer's suite to one adult and three children!

Now I see one adult and one, two, three, four...

You counted him twice. It's a simple birthday party for my child.

One, two, three, four...

Stand still!

I'd offer you some chow mein, but there's only one egg roll.

One, two, three, four, five...

How many people are sleeping in these rooms?

- What rooms? - This room, madam.

Why there isn't a soul in this room.

- Now, you know what I mean. - Except you and me, honey.

Mr. Kringelein, what are you tryin' to do?

Stop! Help! Help!

Mr. Kringelein, stop! Help!

- Oh, my babies! - Mama!

A peeping tom. A monster.

Oh, my babies! My babies!

Get her some water.

Gladys, a simple little birthday party.

Chow mein. A tiny little cake.

Thank you, darling. Can you imagine?

These dangerous middle-aged men.

You never know what sort of beasts and brutes you'll meet...

Rose, what happened?

Mr. Kringelein, the hotel manager, tried to...

Again?

I had to do something, Herbie. And don't you dare apologize to him.

I hope it didn't spoil Louise's birthday.

Why should it? Thank you, everyone.

- Back to your rooms now. - Yes, thank you. Thank you.

You, too.

No.

Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone.

Mr. Goldstone, the child has a birthday once a year.

We have a small party, a tiny little cake...

The act is booked at the Tivoli Theater.

...fried rice and subgum chow...

Mr. Goldstone puts on the Grantziger shows.

He practically has the last word.

We just have to show the act to Mr. Grantziger.

Mr. Goldstone says that's a cinch.

"Have an egg roll, Mr. Goldstone

"Have a napkin Have a chopstick

"Have a chair

"Have a sparerib, Mr. Goldstone

"Any sparerib that I can spare I'd be glad to share

"Have a dish Have a fork

"Have a fish Have a pork

"Put your feet up, feel at home

"Have a smoke Have a Coke

"Would you like to hear a joke? I'll have June recite a poem

"Have a lichee, Mr. Goldstone

"Tell me any little thing that I can do

"A ginger peachy, Mr. Goldstone

"Have a kumquat, have two

"Everybody give a cheer Santa Claus is sittin' here

"Mr. Goldstone, I love you

"Have a Goldstone, Mr. Egg Roll

"Tell me any little thing that I can do

"Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce

"Have a cookie Have a few

"What's the matter, Mr. G? Have another pot of tea

"Mr. Goldstone, I love you

"There are good stones And bad stones

"And curbstones and Gladstones

"And touchstones And such stones as them

"Such as them

"There are big stones And small stones

"And grindstones and gallstones

"But Goldstone is a gem

"There are milestones There are millstones

"There's a cherry There's a yellow

"There's a blue

"But we don't want any old stone

"Only Goldstone will do

"Moonstone, sunstone We all scream for one stone

"Mervyn Goldstone

"We love you

"Goldstone!"

"Little lamb, little lamb

"My birthday is here at last

"Little lamb, little lamb

"A birthday goes by so fast

"Little bear, little bear

"You sit on my right, right there

"Little hen, little hen

"What games should we play and when?

"Little cat, little cat

"Oh, why do you look so blue?

"Did somebody paint you like that?

"Or is it your birthday, too?

"Little fish, little fish

"Do you think I'll get my wish?

"Little lamb, little lamb

"I wonder how old I am

"I wonder how old I am

"Little lamb"

The won ton soup is better in San Francisco.

The fu yung has more egg in it in St. Louis.

But I will say New York City...

...has got the best doggone, subgum chicken chow mein I ever tasted.

The onions are chopped good and fine. Hand me that plate.

Mother!

We're payin' for it, aren't we? You'll get an ulcer like Herbie.

Besides, what the dogs don't eat, we will.

Did it ever occur to you there might be someone who doesn't like Chinese food?

Don't be silly! Who? You like it, don't you, Herbie?

Of course, I love it.

- Did she? - Yes.

That's a healthy-wealthy lady-wady.

Oh, Lord!

Herbie's angry. He's chain-smoking.

Herbie's never angry. It's bad for his ulcer. Come on now, girls, beddy-bye.

But it's so early.

Baby, tomorrow you're gonna audition for Mr. T.T. Grantziger and his Tivoli Theater.

You gotta look young.

Can I wear a dress?

A dress'd make you look old, and you don't own one.

- Good night, Uncle Herbie. - Good night, June.

- Good night, Louise. - Good night, Herbie.

I'll cold cream their faces and be right back.

The hotel is just two doors away.

Honestly, the way you behave with those girls. Rose!

We need silverware for when we set up housekeepin' on Riverside Drive.

You're so high and mighty with a suite at the Astor and you still steal the cutlery.

You gotta grasp every opportunity.

Herbie, how long is it gonna take you to get used to me?

How long did it take me to get used to those coats?

What's wrong with them? Louise is very handy with a needle.

As the Lord says, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

And it serves 'em right for overcharging.

They can skip the cold cream for one night.

All this time we've been together and you still stand up for me.

- It's instead of standing up to you. - I hope the babies'll be all right.

Rose, no matter how you dress them, or smother them, they're not babies.

- They're almost young women! - They're not and they never will be!

I'm embarrassed in front of them.

Why should you be? You're almost their father.

- When are you going to marry me? - Don't forget our scrapbooks...

- When are you going to quit stalling? - When we're rolling in dough.

- Do you know there's a depression? - Sure I know. I read Variety.

You know what it's doing to vaudeville?

Do you know what the talkies are doing to vaudeville? Don't you know...

...I love you?

Do you think I'd be unfaithful to my husbands if you didn't?

I gotta think of my girls and their happiness.

Louise is some happy being the front end of a cow.

- It's better than the rear end. - She and June should be in school.

I promised June I'd get her on the Pantages Circuit and I did.

Honey, could I have a spoon to stir my tea?

I promised her I'd get her on the Orpheum Circuit and I will.

I will. And you promised me that after I do you'd marry me.

I promised myself she'd be a headliner at the Tivoli Theater and she will.

- Did you hear what I said? - Yes, but I'm ignoring it.

Thanks, honey.

Herbie, it isn't very polite of a gentleman to remind a lady that she welched.

Besides, there was no date on that promise.

Will you stop handing me that? Rose, sometimes...

Your stomach!

Why don't you get angry on the outside instead of lettin' it settle inside?

- I'm afraid. - Of me?

No, of me. Me.

Why?

If I ever let loose, it'll end up with me picking up and walking.

- Only around the block. - Oh, no!

Don't say that.

"You'll never get away from me

"You can climb the tallest tree

"I'll be there somehow

"True, you could say 'Hey, here's your hat'

"But a little thing like that

"Couldn't stop me now

"I couldn't get away from you

"Even if you told me to

"So go on and try, just try

"And you're gonna see

"How you're gonna not at all

"Get away from me"

What do you want? There are better managers.

Not for me.

- Even weaker men. - Not for me.

- Then what? - You.

Herbie, just go on helping me like you've been helpin'.

So you get the Tivoli, so what comes after?

- Rose, what you expect... - I'll get!

And after I get it, I promise to marry you.

I even promise to keep my promise.

Herbie, I don't want anything to upset that audition tomorrow...

...includin' your stomach.

Yes, Mr. Grantziger.

I know, but they're having a little difficulty with their scenery.

Well, wait till you see it. I'm trying, Mr. Grantziger.

Keep the tempo up now. Keep it bright.

That's the mother.

I have told her!

Hello, Mr. Grantziger.

- Where is he? - He's in his office at the top of the theater.

- Hi. - We're ready now.

It's a privilege to audition, Mr. Grantziger.

You're gonna love us.

"Extra, extra!

"Hey, look at the headlines Historical news is being made

"Extra, extra!

"They're drawing a red line Around the biggest scoop of the decade

"A barrel of charm A fabulous thrill

"The biggest little headline in vaudeville

"Presenting in person

"That 4-foot-8 bundle of dynamite

"Dainty June!"

Hello, everybody. My name is June.

What's yours?

"I have a moo cow, a new cow

"A true cow named Caroline

"She's an extra special friend of mine

"I like everything about her fine

"But if we moved to the city

"Or we settled by the shore

"She'd make the move

"'Cause she loves me more"

Yes, Mr. Grantziger?

Dainty June, would you come out here, please?

Face front, dear.

Profile.

Yes, Mr. Grantziger.

Thank you. That's all.

But we've got a big dramatic finale.

- Sure. But he's seen quite enough. - Hit it! Hit it!

"Broadway, Broadway!

"We've missed it so

"We're leaving soon and taking June

"To star her in a show

"Bright lights, white lights

"Rhythm and romance

"The train is late So while we wait

"We're gonna do a little dance"

Straighten that line!

"Broadway, Broadway!

"How great you are

"I'll leave the farm With all its charm

"To be a Broadway star!

"Bright lights, white lights

"Where the neons glow

"My bag is packed

"I've got my act

- "So all aboard, come on, let's go! - Let's go!

"'Bye! 'Bye!"

Get this.

It's a train.

Goodbye, Caroline. I'll write to you.

Don't forget to wire.

Goodbye, Caroline.

Goodbye. Don't forget to wire.

Goodbye.

'Bye. Goodbye. Wait!

Stop the train. Stop everything.

I can't go to Broadway with you.

Why not, Dainty June?

Because...

...everything in life that really matters is right here.

What care I for tinsel and glamour...

...when I have friendship and true love?

I'm staying with Caroline.

Yes, Mr. Grantziger?

What?

He liked it.

Well, of course he did.

Yes, sir.

Yes, Mr. Grantziger, if that's what you want.

If you and your tribe'll come up to the office, I'll make out a contract.

You won't be sorry, Mr. Grantziger.

This is gonna make you!

Miss Cratchitt, I believe Mr. Grantziger made a mistake...

...a slight mistake on this contract.

So do I.

- Happy, girls? - Yes, Mama.

We auditioned for Mr. Grantziger's Tivoli. This is for Mr. Grantziger's Variety.

- That's right. - But the Variety is...

...way down on 12th Street.

He'll give you a visa to get there.

Yes?

- I'd like to talk to Mr. Grantziger. - No!

Now you can't disturb Mr. Grantziger. Listen...

- I'm through listening. Where is he? - He's still auditioning down on the stage.

When we're down there he's up here, and when we're up here he's down there.

Mr. Grantziger is a very clever man.

I'll go see if he's down on that stage. This way?

No. No, Rose. Wait.

- We will wait right here. - Herbie...

Look, friend, strictly between us, if I were you I'd sign that contract.

There's only one item in that act of yours that the boss likes.

Dainty little June.

He thinks she can be an actress...

...musical comedy, Broadway, that sort of stuff.

And he's right. That's great, isn't it, Rose?

On one condition:

You stay away.

Stay away? I'm her mother.

You said it, I didn't.

What about the act?

One week at the Variety.

After that, what about it? June is the act.

- This must be a private discussion. - How are Louise and I supposed to live?

You might get a job, dear.

I have a job, dear.

And I do it damn well!

This'd be much better than vaudeville for June, and for us.

- Nothing is better than vaudeville. - Was better than vaudeville.

- Where's your values? - Motherhood comes first.

Then you ought to see that this is right. You'll have June on the stage.

I'll take care of you and Louise and we'll all live like real people.

Rose, this way we can have our cake and eat it, too.

Your cake!

Besides, June wouldn't start all over again, like some beginner.

Ask her, Mama.

Ask her.

Yes. Oh, Mama, yes. Please say yes.

I want to learn, to work.

I'll try so hard to make you proud of me, Mama.

Say yes, Mama.

No.

And I am proud of you, Baby.

You don't need lessons any more than you need Grantziger.

There's no one in show business who doesn't need him.

- Take a good look at this person. - Rose.

They're so smart in New York.

New York is the center of everything.

New York is the center of New York.

The country's full of people who know people...

...who know what a mother means to her daughter.

Hicks like you don't know. And Grantziger's a hick! He'll get no place.

Do you hear me, keep still!

Don't you dare answer that phone when I'm yellin' at you.

Did you hear what I said?

They're tryin' to take my baby from me. Over my dead body they will!

- Come on, we'll go down and tell him. - Just a minute, Mrs. Hovick!

Mrs. Hovick!

Don't worry, kids...

...I will read her the Declaration of Independence.

Believe me.

It's not your fault, Herbie, it's just the way it is.

Well, I'm gonna try to change the way it is. Just you wait.

No!

Mama's just talking angry, June. She won't really spoil anything.

Yes, she will.

I'll never be anything but Baby.

Dainty old Baby June.

Well, aren't ya happy that somebody like Mr. T.T. Grantziger thinks...

...you can be a real actress?

I would be happy...

...if Mama would only see what this means to me.

I'm going to be awfully unhappy remembering how I lost this chance.

Mama made you a vaudeville star and she can do it again.

Vaudeville is gone, Louise.

It's over.

The only show business left is right here on Broadway.

I want to learn to be part of it. Part of this kind of show business.

You can be anything you want.

You were born for this business.

You're a real stage personality.

You're really wonderful, Louise.

I am? Why?

Because, well, I don't know.

When it comes to the act, you never worry about yourself...

...only for me.

I don't have any talent. It doesn't really matter.

It's just that Mama would like it better if I did.

Your mother isn't feeling well. I'm gonna take her back to the hotel.

Don't worry, kids, I'll figure something out.

More than ever I wish Mama would marry Herbie.

And then we could all be together.

"If Mama was married We'd live in a house

"As private as private can be

"Just Mama, three ducks, five canaries

"A mouse, two monkeys, one father six turtles and me

"If Mama was married

"If Mama was married I'd jump in the air

"And give all my toe shoes to you

"I'd get all these hair ribbons Out of my hair

"And once and for all I'd get Mama out, too

"If Mama was married

"Mama, get out your white dress

"You've done it before

"Without much success

"Mama, Godspeed and God bless

"We're not keeping score

"What's one more or less

"Oh, Mama, say yes

"And waltz down the aisle while you may

"I'll gladly support you

"I'll even escort you

"And I'll gladly give you away

"Oh, Mama, get married today

"If Mama was married There wouldn't be any more

"'Let me entertain you

"'Let me make you smile

"'I will do some kicks

"'I will do some tricks'

"'Sing out, Louise!

"'Smile, Baby.'

"Mama, please take our advice

"We aren't the Lunts

"I'm not Fanny Brice

"Mama, we'll buy you the rice

"If only this once

"You wouldn't think twice

"It could be so nice

"If Mama got married to stay

"But Mama gets married

"And married, and married

"And never gets carried away

"Oh, Mama

"Oh, Mama

"Oh, Mama

"Get married today"

How do you like those kids?

They knew darn well I'd marry Herbie at the right time and place.

But 12th Street sure wasn't what I had in mind.

So what if the act is a little shabby right now?

Instead of buyin' longer costumes, I'm gonna get shorter boys.

And that goes for Tulsa, too.

All thatjiggin'.

Say, that's pretty fancy footwork, Tulsa. Why don't you show it to Mrs. Hovick?

It's just fooling around.

Well, you started fooling around about three months ago.

He had to do something during the layoffs.

I thought maybe you were worried about the act.

Because the way things are pickin' up, I wouldn't be surprised if you kids got paid.

Things are lookin' so good I might even treat you to an ice-cream soda.

No, thank you.

Chow mein?

Baby Ruth? Butterfinger?

Mama doesn't like us to eat just before a show.

We don't always have to do what your mama likes, do we, Louise?

Herbie?

Oh, nothing.

Tulsa, if you and the boys have any problems just bring them to me, huh?

Sure, Herbie.

You can't blame him for tryin' to act like a big shot.

Everybody knows he's just a stooge.

He is not.

I mean, we all depend on him.

I like Herbie. We all do.

You didn't tell him, did you? I mean, that you're rehearsing for a team?

How did you know I was?

I saw you practicing last Monday after the matinee. I was up in the flies.

I wouldn't tell anybody, Tulsa, honest.

I'm very secretive, just like you.

Look...

See?

That's what that means in your palm.

And...

...this means that you make up dreams.

Just like me. See?

And what do you make up dreams about?

People.

I do that, too.

Yes, but yours are about a partner for your act.

She's gonna be more than a partner, I hope.

I mean, I dream...

Well, you know.

What would she have to be like, Tulsa?

A real wonderful dancer and a singer, I guess.

Oh, no. I'm gonna do most of that. I don't mean I'm gonna hog it all, but...

Well, they always look at the girl on a dance team.

Especially if she's pretty.

Makeup could help, and costumes.

I've got the costumes all figured out. A blue satin tux for me.

With rhinestone lapels?

You think?

I'll sew 'em on.

Okay. Thanks. Well, you see, I pretend... Oh, this is a mirror.

I take a comb and comb my hair.

Take a flower...

...smell it...

...and put it in my lapel.

And then I spot the audience.

"Once my clothes were shabby

"Tailors called me 'Cabbie'

"So I took a vow

"Said, 'This bum'll be Beau Brummel'

"Now I'm smooth and snappy

"Now my tailor's happy

"I'm the cat's meow

"My wardrobe is a wow!

"Paris silk

"Harrod's tweed

"There's only one thing I need

"Got my tweed pressed

"Got my best vest

"All I need now

"Is the girl

"Got my striped tie

"Got my hopes high

"Got the time and the place And I got rhythm

"Now all I need's a girl to go with 'em

"If she'll just appear

"We'll take this big town for a whirl

"And if she'll say 'My darling, I'm yours'

"I'll throw away my striped tie

"And my best pressed tweed

"All I really need is the girl"

I start easy, you see.

Now I'm more debonair.

Break.

And I sell it here.

I start this step, see.

And then I build it.

And now I double it.

She appears all in white.

I take her hand...

...and I kiss it.

And lead her on the floor.

This step is good for the costume.

Astaire bit.

"Now we waltz

"Strings come in"

And I lift her.

Again.

Once more.

And now the tempo changes...

...and all the lights come up...

...and I build for the finale.

Louise, that's it. Over here.

Give me your hand.

Now follow me.

That's it, Louise. Now do it faster.

That's it. Now the front.

Do it again.

Do it again.

Turn.

Louise.

So okay, they keep on makin' garages out of vaudeville houses...

...and bowling alleys and stuff like that.

But kill vaudeville?

Did you ever hear such banana oil? There was still Omaha.

So we were a smash, like usual.

And then made tracks for a sensational engagement in Dallas.

As we waited for the train I was high.

Just had a feelin' everything was gonna be dipsy-doodle.

You know how you are sometimes. There'sjust somethin' in the air.

Have you guys seen Louise and June?

Where's Jerry and Joe? Why's everyone late?

We'd like to talk to you.

Let me find out whether the train's on time.

Is the southbound train on schedule?

I wouldn't say it is and I wouldn't say it ain't.

- I will say you got time for a bowl of chili. - Thanks. We have a short wait.

- Why don't you get a cup of java? - We ain't goin' to Dallas, we're quitting.

You've been threatening that for years.

- No, this is the truth. - We're not kidding.

Tell her, Herbie.

The boys are kind of unhappy.

Not serious. I'll straighten it out.

- You can't straighten it out. - Mrs. Hovick, we're finished.

We want our railroad tickets. We're going in the other direction.

- You're walkin' out on the act? - They don't mean anything of the kind.

They're just kids and every once in a while they get upset.

When they get upset, I get upset. And I don't like it.

Shut your traps. Now where are June and Louise?

I shouldn't have let 'em go to the movies.

They're crazy about John Gilbert. I couldn't refuse.

Mrs. Hovick, you've got to believe us.

It's nothing personal, but we're quitting the act.

I told you in Klamath Falls I didn't want boys.

They're troublemakers.

But we got boys, Rose. Just let me talk to them, will you?

Fellas, Angie, I've always been your friend, haven't I? So give a listen.

Now don't lower yourself to argue, Herbie. These rats wanna quit the act, let 'em quit.

They want their railroad tickets, give 'em bus tickets.

- What's keepin' the girls? - We got lots of time.

Fellas, I know we've had a couple of layoffs in the past...

It isn't that, Herbie. We're too old.

Would you be too old if we could increase your salary?

Increase what salary?

- Herbie's been payin' us... - Moron!

How long will it take you to get used to me, Rose?

Button your coat.

Ingrates! You take the bread out of that man's mouth and spit it in his face.

As the good Lord says, "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

Give 'em the tickets. They were sluffin' the act anyway.

Okay. Okay.

Thanks, Herbie. We'd also like Joe's ticket.

Joe's leaving, too?

That leaves us just with Jerry.

Well, not exactly. Jerry's already gone. On his own.

Where you been?

Where's the baby? You didn't let her stay for the second show?

- No, we didn't go to the show. - What?

I've been looking for the baby all over the place.

I finally went to the hotel and the room clerk gave me this note for you.

- What's she writing me for? - I don't know.

- What's in it? - I'll read it to you.

I can read my own letters, thank you.

"Mama...

"...l've had a dream. Me.

"My dream was like a nightmare.

"I dreamed I was a very old lady, but I was still Dainty June...

"...still doin' the same old act.

"I was so ashamed of myself, I ran away, Mama...

"...from the act, from you, from your dreams...

"...because they only made you happy.

"And if I want a dream of my own, my very own, I have to be like you, Mama.

"I have to fight for it.

"I started toward my dream three weeks ago in between shows.

"I married Jerry.

"Please don't worry about me, Mama.

"Maybe I'm enough like you to make my dream come true...

"...to grow up and be a real actress.

"I'll always love you and Louise, Mama...

"...and I'll always be grateful to Herbie.

"June."

When did they leave? Did she tell you where they were going?

No. Nothing, honest.

I'll call the cops. They'll find 'em, Rose, and bring 'em back. Don't you worry.

You shouldn't call the cops. They'll scare June.

It's gotta be against the law for a 13-year-old to be marryin'.

Rose, she must have lied about her age.

I'm gonna call the police.

I'd better get her ammonia. I think it's in her valise.

Can I use your phone? I've gotta call the police.

This little girl, underage, who married a boy...

- How old are they, mister? - The girl's 13. The boy is 17, 18.

There's nothing illegal about that in this state.

It's legal for a girl of 12 and legal for a boy at 16.

This is pioneer country and we've never changed the law.

I still want to call the cops.

Come on in.

You won't hear any different from them than me.

Can we have the tickets now? We gotta get movin'.

Police department.

- I fixed up an act of my own... - Get moving.

Don't be sore, Herbie. It ain't our fault the act's washed up.

Goodbye, Herbie.

Hey, fellas...

...good luck.

- Thanks, Herbie. - Thanks. Good luck to you, too, Herbie.

Good luck, Louise.

Come on, Yonkers.

Goodbye, Louise.

Goodbye?

You mean you're all going away?

Yeah, all of us. Gee, I'm sick about it, but I gotta think of my future.

Why didn't you tell me, Tulsa?

Like you once said, Louise, it's in my palm. I keep secrets the way you do.

Listen, I would've loved June to be my partner.

I know.

You'll find another one.

What will you do?

I don't know.

Well, I hope we run into each other again. Maybe we'll even play on the same bill.

Yeah. Maybe.

You're a great girl. You're the cat's whiskers.

That's what we all say. You're just like one of the boys.

Yeah, that's me all right. "One of the boys."

Thanks, Tulsa.

I just talked to the authorities. There's no way we can get June back.

What're we gonna do?

Rose.

Rose. Honey, listen.

I'm still in the candy business. It's steady, 52 weeks a year, every year.

I'll be a district manager. We can stay put, have a home of our own.

Louise can go to school.

Rose?

Rose, you still got Herbie.

You can marry me and I promise you won't have one single worry...

...for the rest of your life. Don't you want that?

Yes. Oh, Mama, say yes.

Herbie.

You read palms, I read minds. It's okay. It's all gonna be fine now, honey.

Everything happens for the best. Okay, so the act is finished.

But you and me and our daughter...

...we're gonna have a home of our own. We even got a cow for the backyard.

We're gonna be the best damned homebodies you ever saw.

The boys walked because they think the act's finished.

They think we're nothin'.

Well, let 'em walk. Let 'em all walk. I don't need any of 'em.

They needed me.

I'm used to people walkin' out.

When my own mother did it, I cried for a week. Your father did it.

Then the man I married after him did it.

Well, this time I'm not cryin'.

Because I don't need any of 'em.

I'm the electricity.

I was always the electricity. Who do you think made the act?

I made it! And I can make it again. And I will, I swear I will.

This time I'm gonna do it for you.

This time I'm gonna make you a star, baby.

We're gonna have all new costumes, all new people, all new everything.

It's like bein' born all over again. We got everything ahead of us.

Take a look at our new star.

Look at her, Herbie. Look at her. You're right.

This is today and everything else is yesterday's mashed potatoes.

Finished? Why, we're just beginning. And this time nothing's gonna stop us.

"I had a dream

"A dream about you, baby

"It's gonna come true, baby

"They think that we're through

"But, baby

"You'll be swell, you'll be great

"Gonna have the whole world on a plate

"Startin' here, startin' now

"Honey, everything's comin' up roses

"Clear the decks, clear the tracks

"You got nothin' to do but relax

"Blow a kiss, take a bow

"Honey, everything's comin' up roses

"Now's your inning

"Stand the world on its ear

"Set it spinning

"That'll be just the beginning

"Curtain up, light the lights

"You've got nothin' to hit but the heights

"You'll be swell, you'll be great

"I can tell, just you wait

"That lucky star I talk about is due

"Honey, everything's comin' up roses

"For me and for you

"You can do it

"All you need is a hand

"We can do it

"Mama is gonna see to it!

"Curtain up, light the lights

"We got nothin' to hit but the heights

"I can tell, wait and see

"There's the bell, follow me

"And nothin's gonna stop us till we're through

"Honey, everything's coming up roses and daffodils

"Everything's comin' up sunshine and Santa Claus

"Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops

"Everything's comin' up roses

"For me and for you!"

No, no, no.

That's not right.

Sing out, Louise, sing out.

Let Mr. Ziegfeld hear you.

I got it! I got it!

I had another dream.

Instead of boys we'll use girls. And you know the cow in the act?

It's not gonna be a cow anymore. It's gonna be a bull.

So, it's gonna be a bull.

It's a good idea.

And you're gonna be the bullfighter. And you know what?

We're callin' the act Madame Rose's Toreadorables.

All we need is the girls.

Yes, Mother.

All we need is the girls.

How're we gonna get 'em?

We'll get 'em...

...Uncle Jocko.

Herbie did the Uncle Jocko bit again and got us six girls for the act, semi-talented.

I didn't like the dough goin' out for hotels, so I discovered the Army and Navy stores.

Surplus tents, for instance.

Ready, Louise?

Yes, Mama.

- Ready, girls? - Yes, Madam Rose.

Remember, you mustn't be discouraged by the past.

You're artists of the theater.

Madam Rose's Toreadorables.

"Extra, extra!

"Hey, look at the headlines Historical news is being made"

Sing out!

"Extra, extra!

"They're drawing a red line Around the biggest scoop of the decade

"In the decade

"A barrel of charm A fabulous thrill

"The biggest little headline in vaudeville

"Presenting in person

- "That 5-foot-3 bundle of dynamite" - Sell it! Sell it, girls!

"Senorita Louise"

Well, come on, Louise, come on!

Ol�, everybody! My name's Louise. What's yours?

Well, it's comin' along.

Mama...

...l'm just no good at it.

Now don't be silly. All right, girls, let's try the finish.

They'll forgive you anything if you've got a strong finish.

You're late. Now, girls, let's make it stirring!

Pick up your feet, Louise! Pick 'em up! Up, up!

I guess they're tired.

All right, girls, over to your tents. Get ready for bed.

- Good night, Louise. - Good night, Mama.

- But it's still light, Madam Rose. - Don't argue, go to bed.

And don't forget to write your mothers...

...for money.

How'd it go in town?

Not even a benefit.

They're too un-American down here, that's what.

We better talk about goin' back up north as soon as I tell the girls a bedtime story.

Why do you make Louise wear that wig in the act?

It makes her look more like...

...a star.

Why do you keep the cow?

Herbie, if that cow goes, I go.

The act can be fixed.

If I was doin' it for her sister I'd have it all set.

But you're not.

And I'm not my sister.

She doesn't expect you to be.

Mama...

...I love you so much and I've tried hard as I could...

...but the act is rotten and I'm rotten in it.

How do you like that? Typical of a kid.

Mama, I've been wanting to say this...

- Always impatient. - Mama...

- A few break-in dates don't go so good... - I'm not a blonde.

And I'm not my sister, and I just can't do what she did.

She's not asking you to.

Maybe you want show business...

Maybe? Why, it's our whole lives!

It's what we've been working for since you were born.

Honey, maybe I have been on the wrong track about your material...

...but I'll find out what you do best.

The good Lord says, "You gotta take the rough with the smooth."

And you're lucky. You were born lucky, because you're not alone, see?

- Right, Herbie? - Right.

You know, we could get a nice refund on this if we'd ever paid for it.

How about getting a gallon of peroxide and a carton of toothbrushes?

What for, Herbie?

Make 'em all blondes.

I was only jokin'.

So was I, honey.

But why not do it?

- Louise, they're just children. - They're young girls, Mama.

As blondes they could be pretty young girls.

With some imagination it might work.

It'd jazz up the act, make it easier to sell.

We could call it, Madam Rose and her Blonde Babies.

Baby Blondes.

No, nothing with babies.

- Hollywood Blondes. - Yes!

All blondes except you, 'cause you're the star.

If I'm the star...

...then it should be Louise and Her Hollywood Blondes.

Rose Louise and her Hollywood Blondes!

Okay.

Well, I told you everything would come up lollipops.

Herbie got us a two-week date.

And we were paid minimum plus, guaranteed in advance...

...at the Wichita Opera House.

We were on our way up again.

Nothin' can stop Rose. Nothin'.

Okay, okay. Kill the traveler.

That's right, trim it. Okay.

That's right.

It's a real live theater!

With a real live stage!

Don't you love it?

Louise, look!

A real live theater.

Just like opening day rehearsals used to be.

Mama's gonna love it.

- Will you kill them floods? - Will you shut your face?

- She isn't gonna love that. - Or that!

Slave, my fiddle.

What the hay?

What kind of an act is that?

Yeah?

Okay, jailbait, you the Hollywood Blondes?

- Yes. I'm... - You're late.

- Our car broke down and... - Skip it.

Some of you can use that dressing room. The rest of you, over there.

The first one you share with Tessie Tura, the Texas Twirler.

The second with Mazeppa, Revolutions in Dance.

Now shake it up, will you?

So...

...you're the act that's supposed to keep the cops out, huh?

Boy, you must be lousy.

It's a real live theater, all right.

He reminds me of my brother.

Don't start sniveling.

Take the cow and anything else you can carry into the first dressing room.

Marjorie May, take the other girls into that second room and start unpacking.

I want to go home.

Look at this!

That Tessie Tura must be a very fancy lady.

She must also be a pig.

Louise!

In here, Mama.

Let me help you.

Baby, we're back in the theater.

We're back in a real live theater.

I really think we ought to talk to Herbie.

He went up front to check on our billing. Good morning. Good morning, I...

It ain't weighted right.

It scratches the devil out of me and it just don't bump when I do.

Maybe there's somethin' wrong with your bumper.

Big joke!

I'm out there bumpin' my brains off with no action and she's bein' witty.

Hey, you with the neck.

I paid six bucks for that costume. Now back where you found it.

Yes, ma'am.

Get the bags, get the cow, get the props!

You don't know what kind of theater this is.

Yes, I do. It's a house of burlesque.

A house of burlesque. And you know what that is? Filth!

- When your friend Herbie shows his face... - I'm sure he didn't know.

Not much, he didn't. Agnes!

He got the booking over the telephone.

We were all so happy.

My name is Amanda.

Your name is Agnes and I want you and the others out of here in two seconds.

- But, Madam Rose... - March! March! Go!

Wait a minute. Wait in the other dressing room.

You take the rear end of the cow, I'll take the front.

And what bags we can't carry, your friend Herbie can pick up and carry himself.

Listen to me. Just because you think Herbie can do no wrong...

- This has nothing to do with him. - You don't know what burlesque is.

- Yes, I do. - No, you don't!

No daughter of mine will work in a burlesque house.

And no daughter of any woman I know.

Where are we gonna work?

Vaudevillians won't even live in the same hotel as burlesque people.

Mama, how much money do we have?

Including what's left of their allowances, how much money do we have?

Somethin' will turn up.

It has turned up and this is it!

Mama, we're flat broke. We've gotta take this job.

Even if you wanted to quit and go home, we'd have to take it.

I had a dream.

- Mama... - You're gonna like this one.

I had it over a week ago, only I didn't want to tell you.

The cow came into my room.

But she wasn't dancin', smilin' this time.

She was wheezin' and kind of sad-like.

She came over to my bed and looked at me, and she said:

"Rose, move over."

I'm sorry, Mama.

Why? She didn't ask you to move over.

I mean, I'm sorry I'm not good enough in the act.

It's the act that isn't good enough, baby...

...or somethin'.

Rose!

In here.

Look, I didn't know. Louise. Rose, I didn't know, believe me.

I do, honey.

Oh, what's the difference? The money is good.

It's only two weeks and maybe by that time somethin' will turn up. Right?

Right!

You're a nice girl, Rose. Thank you.

- That's show business. - One good thing: I bet we get top billing.

Actually, you see, they had us kinda lost in the middle.

I thought last would be better, so that it reads:

"And Rose Louise and Her Hollywood Blondes."

They'll use plenty of pictures and put a box around it.

Forget the box, Herbie, and the pictures.

You don't know what they say in the business, but Herbie does.

When a vaudeville act plays burlesque it means it's all washed up.

Herbie, nothin' is gonna turn up for us, is it?

No.

It is a pretty rotten act.

Honey, it's not the act.

It's like I been tellin' you, vaudeville is dead, stone-cold dead!

- We sure tried though, didn't we? - We sure did.

Right?

Right.

Herbie.

I better get the cues ready.

Hey, Rose Louise, where's your music? And your light cues?

I'll be right with you.

- You Rose Louise? - Yeah, I'm Rose Louise.

Oh, Herbie.

Things are lookin' up.

I got a show to open, Rose Louise, so move your butt.

Now listen, you little punk!

For the next two weeks you're gonna speak like a Sunday school teacher.

You got something in this theater you probably never saw before: A lady.

Take a look.

That is a lady.

And that is also a lady.

And every girl in this act is a lady and don't you forget it. Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Now get out there on that stage and I'll give you the cues when I'm ready.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me...

...ma'am.

Sir, won't you give me your protection? I'm a lady, too.

Just let me by, lady, and there won't be any casualties.

Say, you're cute.

How about you and me goin' for a ride after the show?

All my seats are reserved.

The thing worked, thanks to you.

- Well, if you ladies will excuse me. - We're very busy.

- In my dressing room? - In your dress...

You heard me.

And I don't like sharin' it any more than you do.

Particularly with a troupe from the Virgin Islands.

Now don't start up on us, understand? We're headliners from the Orpheum Circuit.

We were booked into this theater by mistake.

Weren't we all?

Say, who made that?

I did. I make all our costumes.

My, look at them ladylike little stitches.

That miserable broad who's been makin' my gowns must be usin' a fish hook.

What do you pay her?

- $25 a gown and I provide the material. - $30.

- She's new in the business. - $30.

- Are you her mother? - Yes.

$30.

I'll get the material after the matinee.

It's a deal. Louise, where's your toreador costume?

The girls must have it in the other dressing room with them.

Heaven knows what else they've got in their dressing room.

From the way that dame walks...

...she would've made a real good stripper in her day.

Tessie...

Tessie, I'm short a talking woman.

Tough. "T, U, F." Tough.

The new comic won't use a chorus girl.

Then let him use Mazeppa. Everybody else has.

Now you know Mazeppa's got her Gladiator Ballet just before his spot.

Let them cut the ballet. It stinks anyway.

Be a sport. I'm in a bind.

You're always in a bind in this flea-bitten trap.

I'm a strip woman, slob. I don't do no scenes. Now blow.

Have you ever heard of a first-class strip woman playin' scenes?

When you play stock in a dump like this, I guess you gotta expect to get insulted.

The work is steady, isn't it?

But you bring a new star in for each show, don't ya?

Tessie, it's just a few lines.

Fat boy, save your bad breath.

- I'll give you $10 extra. - No.

I can read lines.

Who are you?

Rose Louise, of Rose Louise and Her Hollywood Blondes.

Just a minute. What kind of lines?

- You in her act? - Not exactly.

- Shut up! How are your legs? - Great! And I'll learn her the scenes.

Okay, $10.

It's money, Mama.

What kind of lines will she read out on that stage?

The same burlesque junk that's been said since the year 1.

- Say, where've you been all your life? - Playin' vaudeville.

Where? In the Louvre?

You name any town in the United States and we've played it.

My grandpa says we've covered the country like gypsies.

Well, you may be a gypsy, Rose Louise, but you're...

Say, that ain't a bad name if you ever take up strippin'.

She won't.

No, but you'll let her feed lines to a bum comic...

...for a lousy $10 a week.

That's trainin'. She's gonna be a headliner. This is only temporary.

Just as soon as we finish here she's goin' right back to vaudeville.

I better talk to Herbie about this.

We never do anything without consulting our artists' representative.

I'd like to consult your artists' representative.

That's a man.

He and Mama are gonna be married.

She better grab him or she's dumber than she looks.

Don't you start calling my mother dumb. She's a lot smarter than any of you.

Listen, we gotta share a dressing room.

Let's smoke a peace pipe, okay?

I'm willing.

I hope so.

Sharin' a dressing room is like sleepin' together, and if you don't get along...

I'll thank you not to give the boss any notion that I would ever play scenes.

And one more disparaging remark about my ballet...

...will find this bugle right in your eye.

Please!

There's a lady present.

Where?

Open your eyes instead of your mouth.

Gypsy, meet Miss Mazeppa, Miss Electra.

Say, you're even younger than I was when I started strippin'.

I'm not gonna strip.

Somethin' wrong with strippin'?

No, I just meant I don't have any talent.

You think they have?

I, myself, of course, was a ballerina.

But take it from me, to be a stripper all you need to have is no talent.

You'll pardon me...

...but to have no talent is not enough.

What you need to have is an idea that makes your strip special.

"You can pull all the stops out

"Till they call the cops out

"Grind till you're fined or you're banned

"But you gotta get a gimmick

"If you wanna get a hand

"You can sacrifice your sacro

"Workin' in the back row

"Bump in a dump till you're dead

"Kid, you gotta get a gimmick

"If you wanna get ahead

"You can uh

"You can uh You can uh, uh, uh

"That's how burlesque was born

"So I uh And I uh

"And I uh, uh, uh

"But I do it with a horn

"Once I was a schlepper

"Now I'm Miss Mazeppa

"With my revolution in dance

"You gotta have a gimmick

"If you wanna have a chance

"She can m'm, She can m'm

"She can m'm, m'm, m'm

"They'll never make her rich

"Me, I uh And I uh

"And I uh, uh, uh

"But I do it with a switch

"I'm electrifyin'

"And I'm not even tryin'

"I never have to sweat to get paid

"'Cause if you got a gimmick

"Gypsy girl, you got it made

"All them m'm And them m'm

"And them m'm, m'm, m'm

"Ain't gonna spell success

"Me, I m'm And I m'm

"And I m'm, m'm, m'm

"But I do it with finesse

"Dressy Tessie Tura

"Is so much more demure

"Then all them other ladies because

"You gotta get a gimmick

"If you wanna get applause

"Do something special

"Anything that's fresh'll

"Earn you a big fat cigar

"You're more than just a mimic

"When you got a gimmick

"Take a look at how different we are

"If you wanna make it

"Twinkle while you shake it

"If you wanna grind it

"Wait tell you've refined it

"If you wanna bump it

"Bump it with a trumpet

"So get yourself a gimmick

"And you, too

"Can be a star"

Herbie.

- Hello, Herbie. - Hello, Rose.

You win.

We've come to the end.

Guess we'd better make some new plans.

How about marryin' me?

Sure. Sure!

Sure.

I love you, you know.

Yeah, I do.

Let's do it today.

Not while we're still in burlesque.

- The day we close. - It's a deal.

Oh, Herbie.

I do, I do!

So do I, Rose.

Come in.

I'll bet you thought I forgot, huh?

Not Herbie!

I remember everything, including the wedding bouquet, the finest in Wichita.

Thanks, Herbie.

They're knockouts, aren't they?

They sure are knockouts, Herbie.

Hey, stop packing and talk to me!

Gosh, this is the great day!

I can't help it. I'm nervous. Why aren't you?

- I've never been so nervous. - You've never been married before.

You've never been married before like you'll be married this time.

She's a little sad, too. You know, about the girls.

Rose, honey, I know what you're feelin'.

It ain't easy to give this up after all these years, but you'll never regret it.

I ought to shut up, but I can't help it.

I'm finally getting everything I ever wanted.

Including a fancy ceremony and bridesmaids.

What the minister will say when he sees all that Hollywood blonde hair...

...I don't know. I don't know.

Let's hope he's colorblind. What difference does it make?

All he has to ask in exactly one hour is:

"Do you, Rose, take him, Herbie?"

And you know what I'm gonna answer? "I, Rose, take you, Herbie."

Thank you.

- I better get the bags in the car. - I don't know why I stay in this business!

- Lf it ain't one headache, it's another! - They'll hear you out front.

It's my theater, ain't it? Last week, no talkin' woman.

The week before, no second banana.

If you knew that crazy broad wasn't here why'd you start the performance?

She don't go on till next to closin'.

She said she was only goin' to the drugstore.

- What'd they arrest her for? - Shoplifting.

Cut the spot.

Rose, can we invite the minister for a drink afterwards?

It's the star strip!

Cut it!

Mama, we could hang the cow's head over the mantelpiece.

They'll yell "murder" if it's the same bags they've seen the last eight weeks.

- The star's the novelty. - Pastey, what do you expect me to do?

- Let you strip? - No.

- My daughter can do it. - What?

- Rose Louise. - Since when?

Since she's seen how easy it is.

- She didn't look bad in the scenes. - She'll look great when I fix her up!

- What's the gimmick? - She's young and you got any better ideas?

She'd better get ready now.

It's the star spot.

- That means star salary. - Lf we keep her.

You will. She's gonna be wonderful.

I knew somethin' would turn up.

Where's the dress you were making for Tessie?

Lt'll work perfect for you. Get into your makeup.

There isn't much time.

Silly, you aren't really gonna strip.

All you're gonna do is walk around the stage in time to the music...

...and drop a shoulder strap at the end. You're a lady, like Herbie says.

You'll parade so grand they'll think it's a favor if you even show 'em your knee.

Louise, it's the star spot.

I always promised my daughter we'd be a star.

Not like this.

You can't do it, Rose.

Herbie, it's all right to walk out when they want ya...

...but we can't walk out when after all these years we're still a flop.

That's quittin'. We can't quit because we're still a flop.

Please, do this. Then we can leave proud because we made it.

Maybe only in burlesque.

Maybe only in second-rate burlesque at that, but...

Let's walk away a star.

Baby.

No time to finish that dress.

I'll get everything ready.

Get the junk off this dress, the Tessie trim.

Herbie, see what the house is like.

Sure.

Sure, why not?

Didn't I always tell you, you were born lucky, Louise?

Not too much makeup, baby. Young and girlish, pure.

Don't smear that junk on your face the way the others do!

Just leave your mouth the way the good Lord made it.

Not too much rouge. No beauty marks.

You'll be a lady: Grand, elegant, with a classy ladylike walk.

Ye gods, shoes! We can use the black ones.

The old ones that we borrowed from Tessie.

They'll have to do. If they're too big, stuff 'em with paper.

Your hair's all wrong. You can't just let it hang there like spaghetti.

Get it up, dear! And puff it out on top. It's gotta be classy.

Thank God the Lord gave us good color and that you washed it this morning.

Do you think we should use a few feathers in it?

No, that's what they all do. Jewelry!

No, let Tessie and the others wear all this vulgar junk. Come in.

- She ready? - She'll be there.

She's on in seven minutes.

She'll be there. Come on, Louise. Get in the dress.

Come dear, come.

You're gonna be just wonderful, darling.

Go along, dear. Here's your dress.

Keep a lot of pins in your hair. Get it tight so it won't fall down.

- Will you get out of here! - Six and a half minutes.

I know, I know.

Say, whose are these?

My wedding present from Tessie.

Good for a lady. She can wear 'em. Now what else? Music. Music.

Spanish. Military. Cow.

Maybe she can do the Let Me Entertain You number.

Baby, you can do the Let me Entertain You number.

I'll mark it for the conductor to repeat two choruses slow.

No, two and a half. And sing out, Louise!

Just walk and dip.

Remember, you're a lady.

Make 'em beg for more and then don't give it to 'em.

Did I forget anything?

Is that you, honey? How is the audience?

It don't matter.

The car is outside and the girls are in it.

I'm just gonna put these bags in the car and then we're going.

You, Louise and me, we're gonna get married.

- This is our farewell to show business. - Herbie, don't talk dumb.

Two performances, a lot of dollars, and she'll always remember she was a star.

You want your daughter to take off her clothes in front of a lot of hooting savages?

You really want her to be ogled and leered at?

When a star's onstage there's an invisible wall...

...between her and the audience. She's an artist.

An artist can keep her audience away and leave them smiling.

Listen, I'm getting sick to my stomach again.

Herbie, don't you see that I have to do this?

No, I don't see that you have to do this!

All I see is what I have to do.

- I'm leaving. - I apologize.

No, let me!

For my resemblance to a mouse. No, a worm!

The way I've crawled after you. No more, Rose. No more, I won't!

I wanted to crawl away from you because my stomach turned over...

...to think of coming back to tell you we're finished!

- Tell me after we're married. - We'll never be.

- We certainly are. - No, no! No, never!

Not even if you got down on your knees and begged.

Now look, I still love you, Rose.

But all the vows from here to doomsday couldn't make you a wife.

I want a wife, Rose!

I'm gonna be a man if it kills me.

- So you're killin' me. - Nobody can kill you.

You think I got a bulletproof vest? You're jealous, that's what you are.

Of my girls, 'cause they're always first.

They always did and they always will. And Louise is gonna be a star!

She's gonna be a star if it kills you and her. She's gonna be a star someplace!

While she's gonna be a star, where are you gonna be?

Where will you be when she gets married?

She won't get married for years. She's just a baby.

Sure.

- Anyway, her career'll always come first. - That's right.

That is right.

Herbie...

Why does everybody walk out?

Maybe Louise won't.

Don't leave, Herbie.

I need you.

What for?

A million things.

Just one would be better.

Goodbye, honey.

Be a good girl.

You go to the devil!

Get her music to the conductor...

...and you better stand by me for the light cues.

I just hope you know what you're doin'.

"Lucky

"You're a man who likes children

"That's an important sign

"Lucky

"I'm a woman with children

"Funny

"Small and funny"

I'll get the music to the leader.

Remember...

...you're a lady.

And you are going to be a star!

Mama...

...l'm pretty.

I'm a pretty girl, Mama.

Come on, come on.

You look beautiful.

- Just for luck, honey. - Are you nervous, baby?

- What? - I said, "Are you nervous?"

No, Mother.

Wichita's one and only burlesque theater presents:

Mama!

Gypsy Rose Lee!

Her name's Louise.

It ain't anymore. Go on, kid.

"Let me entertain you

"Let me make you smile"

Sing out, Louise!

Sing out!

"Let me do a few tricks

"Some old and then some new tricks

"I'm very versatile

"And if you're real good

"I'll make you feel good

"I want your spirits to climb

"So let me entertain you

"And we'll have a real good time Yes, sir!

"We'll have a real good time"

Don't just walk, do something!

Dip! Just dip!

Take somethin' off!

"Let me entertain you"

A glove! Give 'em a glove!

"And we'll have a real good time. Yes, sir!

"We'll have...

"...a real good time!"

The Alhambra Theater of Detroit is happy to present...

...that lovely newcomer, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee!

Philadelphia's Diamond Burlesque takes pleasure in presenting...

...that lovely new star...

...Miss Gypsy Rose Lee.

Hello everybody. My name's Gypsy.

What's yours?

Minsky's world famous burlesque takes great pride and pleasure...

...in presenting the queen of the striptease...

...the incomparable Miss Gypsy Rose Lee...

...in our salute to the new year.

"Let me entertain you

"Let me make you smile

"Let me entertain you

"We'll have a real good

"And if you're real good

"I'll make you feel good

"I want your spirits to climb

"Let me entertain you

"And we'll have a real good time Yes, sir!

"We'll have...

"...a real good time!"

- Good evening, Mrs. Hovick. - Good evening.

Glad to see you.

If you are, you're the only one. Who put that sign up on the blackboard?

I do not know, madame. I think it was probably a pleasantry.

I don't think it's a very pleasant pleasantry.

A cow! What's that for?

That's a souvenir to remind some people where they came from...

...which it wouldn't do any harm.

Renee, that comes down.

You need something to remind you your goal was to be a great actress...

...not a cheap stripper.

My sister's the actress, Mother. And I'm not a cheap stripper.

I'm the highest paid in the business.

You won't be ready for vaudeville when it comes back.

No, I'll be dead.

- Renee, would you take this tray, please? - I'll do it.

Mother, please. And bring my press agent in as soon as he comes.

Oui, madame.

Since when do you fix your face before you have your bath?

A photographer is coming.

Where's he going to photograph you, in the tub?

Eventually.

Louise!

Mother, it's for a very chic fashion magazine.

Do you think I oughta freshen up?

They only want me in the tub.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Hello.

No, it's...

...difficult right now.

I'm not leaving.

Let's meet at the party.

Yes.

Yes, I promise.

A bient�t.

A bien what?

I guess I am being a little much...

...but, Mama, I love it.

Who's givin' the party?

Some friends.

In the old days, I used to be asked first.

I wouldn't go even if I did have somethin' to wear.

I got more important things to do.

Like thinkin' up an idea for a new strip for us.

We're still stuck with that wind machine you bought to blow my clothes off.

Actually, I'm putting in a new number on Saturday.

What is it?

You'll see.

I'll see!

Mama, let me surprise you.

You're just one big surprise after another these days, aren't you?

We'd better go shopping tomorrow for the material for your dress.

I have a French lesson tomorrow.

Well, I'll go alone. You got any color in mind?

Mother, I've already started to make the dress.

Well, I'll run your bath for you.

Mama, you don't have to. That's what I have a maid for.

Let me do somethin', damn it!

What, Mother?

A million things. I'm not a baby.

Neither am I!

Don't take that tone with me, young lady.

- Your sister... - I am not my sister!

- You're not Louise either! - Neither are you!

Yes, I am! More than you, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee...

...with your maids and press agents and fancy friends with their fancy parties.

Your loudmouth mother isn't invited to those high-tone parties. They laugh at her.

- They don't! - They do.

Don't think I don't know that's one reason you don't want me backstage.

So I won't hear 'em laugh. It's them you ought to keep out, not me!

Because they're laughin' at you, too.

The burlesque queen who speaks lousy French...

...and reads book reviews like they was books!

Turn it off, Mother!

You know what you are to them? A circus freak.

This year's novelty act. And when the bill is changed you'll...

I said, turn it off!

Nobody laughs at me!

Because I laugh first. At me!

Me, from Seattle! Me, with no education.

Me, with no talent, as you kept reminding me my whole life!

Well, Mama, look at me now.

I'm a star!

Look! Look how I live! Look at my friends!

Look where I'm going! I'm not staying in burlesque!

I'm moving, maybe up, maybe down!

But wherever it is, I'm enjoying it.

I'm having the time of my life! Because for the first time, it is my life!

And I love it. I love every second of it!

And I'll be damned if you're gonna take it away from me!

I am Gypsy Rose Lee!

And I love her!

And if you don't, you can just clear out now!

Your press agent is here with the photographer.

All right, tell him I'll be ready in a minute.

Mama, we can't go shouting seven performances of this a week.

The whole family shouts.

It comes from our living so near the railroad tracks.

- I'm getting an ulcer. - You think I'm not?

Yes, I think you're not!

If you want an ulcer, get one of your own, 'cause you can't have mine!

Let's forget it.

No, let's finish it.

I should go feed Chowsie.

Mama, you fought your whole life. I wish you could just relax now.

- You need more mascara on your left eye. - Mama, you've got to let go of me!

Let go?

I'll give you anything you want.

You need me.

A house, a farm, a school.

A dramatic school for kids.

You were always great with kids.

I'm a pro.

I'm not an old work horse you can turn out to pasture...

...just because you think you're riding high on your own.

Mama, no kid does it all on his own.

I'm not a kid anymore.

And from now on, even if I flop...

...I flop on my own.

Hey, Gyp, what do you say?

"So long, Rose." That's what she says. "Don't slam the door as you leave."

Hi, Rose. Gyps, baby, may I present Monsieur Bougeron-Cochet.

- Enchant�e, monsieur. - Enchant�, mademoiselle.

Excusez-moi.

Let's make with the oiseau, kiddies. One before you take the plunge, Gyps.

Get ready now.

All right, miss, but just one thing I wanna know.

All the pushing and workin' and fenaglin'...

...all the scrimpin' and the schemin' and lyin' awake nights figurin':

How do we get from one town to the next?

How do we all eat on a buck?

How do I make an act out of nothin'?

What did I do it for? You said I fought all my life.

I fought all your life.

So now, tell me, what did I do it for?

I thought you did it for me, Mama.

Come on smile, Gyps.

Show us your talent.

That's it.

"I thought you did it for me, Mama."

"I thought you did it for me, Mama."

I thought you made a no-talent ox into a star because...

...you like doin' things the hard way, Mama.

And you have no talent.

Not what I call talent, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee.

I made you.

I made you!

And you wanna know why?

You wanna know what I did it for?

Because I was born too soon and started too late, that's why.

What I got in me...

I could've been better than any of you.

What I got in me...

...what I've been holdin' down inside of me...

...if I ever let it go...

...there wouldn't have been signs big enough.

There wouldn't have been lights bright enough.

Here she is, boys!

Here she is, world!

Here's Rose!

"Curtain up

"Light the lights

"Play it, boys

"You either got it or you ain't

"And, boys, I got it

"You like it?

"Well, I got it

"Some people got it and make it pay

"Some people can't even give it away

"This people's got it

"And this people's spreadin' it around

"You either have it, or you've had it"

Hello, everybody.

My name's Rose. What's yours?

How do you like them egg rolls, Mr. Goldstone?

"Hold your hats and hallelujah Mama's gonna show it to you

"Ready or not Here comes Mama

"Mama's talkin' loud Mama's doin' fine

"Mama's gettin' hot Mama's goin' strong

"Mama's movin' on Mama's all alone

"Mama doesn't care Mama's lettin' loose

"Mama's got the stuff Mama's lettin' go

"Mama, Mama

"Mama's got the stuff Mama's gotta move

"Mama's gotta go

"Mama, Mama

"Mama's gotta let go

"Why did I do it?

"What did it get me?

"Scrapbooks full of me in the background

"Give 'em love and what does it get you?

"What does it get you? One quick look as each of 'em leaves you

"All your life and what does it get you?

"Thanks a lot And out with the garbage

"They take bows And you're battin' zero

"I had a dream

"I dreamed it for you, June

"It wasn't for me, Herbie

"And if it wasn't for me

"Just where would you be

"Miss Gypsy Rose Lee?

"Well, someone tell me When is it my turn?

"Don't I get a dream for myself?

"Startin' now, it's gonna be my turn

"Gangway, world, Get off of my runway

"Startin' now, I bat a thousand

"This time, boys, I'm takin' the bows

"And everything's comin' up Rose

"Everything's comin' up roses

"Everything's comin' up roses

"This time for me

"For me

"For me"

Just tryin' out a few ideas I thought you might wanna use.

You'd really have been something, Mother.

Think so?

If you had had someone to push you like I did.

If I could have been, I would have been. That's show business.

About that school for kids, like you said.

I could open one, but...

...kids grow up.

Anyway, I guess I did it for myself.

Why, Mother?

Just wanted to be noticed.

Like I wanted you to notice me.

I still do, Mama.

Louise.

Okay, Mama.

Okay, Rose.

Say, you look like you should speak French.

You're coming to that party with me.

No.

Come on.

Like this?

Here, you can wear my mink. I've got a stole in the car.

Well...

...only for an hour or two.

Say...

...this looks better on me than on you. Funny how we can wear the same size.

Especially in mink.

You know, I had a dream last night.

It was a big poster of a mother and daughter.

You know, like the cover of that ladies' magazine.

Yes, Mother.

Only it was you and me, wearing exactly the same gown.

It was an ad for Minsky and the headline said:

"Madame Rose...

"...and her daughter Gypsy!"