Original subtitles

Femme Fatales 1x03 Something Like Murder Original Air Date on May 27, 2011

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Charles.

Charles.

Charles.

What is it, Darla?

I think I heard something outside.

I'm asleep.

What are you doing, Charles?

I'm going to see who's out there.

Be careful.

Don't have to.

I got this.

Get out of there, lady.

Come up here where I can see you.

Let's have a chat, why don't you?

Okay, now...

you mind telling me who you're digging that grave for?

Why, you, honey.

♪ I've got my eye on you ♪

♪ I've got my eye on you ♪

♪ And I'm hooked, dear, too ♪

♪ Your fooling around's ♪

♪ Getting blood on my shoes, oh ♪

♪ Whoa-oa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa-oa ♪

♪ I've set my sights on you ♪

♪ I've set my sights on you ♪

♪ I've got an alibi, too ♪

♪ So don't look around ♪

♪ I've got nothing to lose ♪

♪ Whoa-oa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa-oa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa-oa ♪

♪ Whoa-oa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa-oa ♪

Wherever you find a rich man,

you are bound to find a gold digger

waiting to take him for everything he's got.

Well, tonight,

somewhere in these Hollywood Hills,

this gold digger really was using a shovel.

It's been said

the taste of evil smells like honeysuckle.

No, I wouldn't argue with that.

But tonight,

there is a distinct smell in the air,

and it smells like murder.

Yeah, so...

you just do what I tell you to do.

That's the right price.

Mr. MacKendrick, your wife is here.

Tell her I'll be right with her.

I got to go. My wife's here.

Good afternoon, Mrs. MacKendrick.

Looking stunning as always, I see.

So kind.

Hope Charles isn't giving you too much of a workout--

too many late nights, so to speak.

No, ma'am.

See you again soon.

I don't like that woman.

But I'm sure Lily is good at taking dictation.

What can I do for you, Darla?

I just thought you might want

to grab lunch before you head out on your trip.

Wish I could, but I'm just way too busy today.

Rain check?

Sure, rain check.

What's wrong? It's my neck.

It's killing me.

Must be stress.

And what stress could you possibly have?

Have a lovely trip, Charles.

Love--

...you.

Buenos días, Señora MacKendrick.

How are you today?

Hello.

I'm Beth.

Darla MacKendrick.

I'm sorry. It's okay.

Can I help you with that?

No, it's okay. I got it.

So where would you like me to set up?

Why don't you just follow me upstairs?

How do you like your pressure?

Hard.

I always like it hard.

My neck and back have been killing me all week.

I'm in knots.

Stress?

Whatever you're doing, don't stop. say that.

Oh...

What kind of stress are we talking about?

Seems like you got it made here,

if you don't mind me saying.

I don't.

Just the usual stress.

Well, the usual is trying to keep the lights on.

Doesn't really seem like that's a problem for you.

No, you're right.

My husband's very, very rich.

Not that I'll ever see a dime of it.

But you love him.

I thought I did.

Now I don't know.

He says he's off on a business trip.

For all I know, he's having his last tango in Pomona,

screwing his secretary.

Did anyone give you permission to stop, Beth?

Sorry.

No need for the modesty towel.

I've lost two things in the last few years--

one of them is my self-respect,

the other is my modesty.

Well, it seems like you still find the time to work out.

You're not like a lot of these other women I visit.

I know.

I see them at all the charity functions

and the fundraisers all the time.

They start out as trophy wives

and end up just like cows.

Mmm.

But instead of grazing on grass,

they munch on foie gras.

Forgive me for being presumptuous,

but you don't sound like you're very happy.

I'm not, Beth.

I'm not happy at all.

But how can I leave him, you know?

I gave up my career,

my ambitions for him.

I'd have nothing.

I'd be totally alone.

Bet you didn't think this would turn into a therapy session?

How about you? You got yourself a fella?

I wouldn't call him that exactly.

FWB, then?

F-W-B?

Friend with benefits?

Yeah, sort of that.

Howard's harmless.

He not bad to while away the time with,

if you know what I mean,

but he's not what I really want.

And what do you really want?

I want...

you...

to turn over.

Like I said, modesty isn't one of my few virtues.

Oh, that's nice.

I can feel that all the way in my head.

I think you just cleared my sinuses.

Good.

That's what's supposed to happen

if a masseuse knows what they're doing.

Well, honey, you definitely know what you're doing.

Most don't.

It's a question of trust.

Do you trust me?

Yes.

Okay, because...

I don't usually do this,

but you seem like you could really use it.

Mmm. What?

Foot reflexology?

Not exactly.

Love your stomach.

And just for the record,

your chest isn't that bad, either.

What, you don't think you're done, do you?

Yeah, kind of. Why?

What did you have in mind, Mrs. MacKendrick?

I think it's time you called me Darla.

I can't tell you how much

this last week has meant to me, Darla.

I never thought I could feel this way about anyone,

but I really do care for you.

And I care for you.

It's too bad it all has to end tomorrow.

What in the world are you talking about?

Isn't your husband coming home?

I know, but-- But what?

I don't think he'd be too happy to find out

that his wife was having an affair with her masseuse,

her female masseuse.

Actually, he might not mind that part,

but that's besides the point.

I can't even bear the thought of him touching me.

Not anymore.

Then divorce him.

Divorce him, and we can be together.

Are you crazy?

What am I supposed to do?

If I divorce him, I-- I get nothing.

I'd be penniless.

I told you, even if something happens,

he gets hit by a bus,

struck by lightning,

there's provisions in the will that I won't see a penny.

It all goes to his daughter

from his first marriage who hates me.

But at least we'd be together.

So what?

When Cinderella's carriage turns into a pumpkin,

it's still a pumpkin.

Without Prince Charming,

she's just a loser stepsister.

She's nothing.

You know I care about you,

but I can't pass this all up,

and I doubt you could, either.

Maybe we don't have to.

What are you talking about?

I'm just saying...

maybe we don't have to.

I don't think I like where you're going with this, Beth.

I told you, even if--

All I'm saying...

is...

what if something happened to your husband?

Something?

Something like murder?

Get up.

Are you sure he can be trusted?

If not, it's life or worse for all of us.

They'll light us up like a Christmas tree.

We can't take any risks now.

Yeah, I can trust him.

What the hell are you doing, Howard?

Just introducing myself to the little lady.

Stop fucking around.

He's a lummox.

Stupid as the day is long.

But he loves me.

And he's got it where it counts.

And where's that, Beth?

Well, then, we better get this over with.

Sorry about this, love. Wait a second.

What, you're not having second thoughts, are you?

Hardly.

Fuck me, Howard.

What?

I just want to touch you right now.

I just want to put my hands all over you.

Don't talk like that. You're making me wet.

I thought it would be more convincing

if it looked like I was raped.

Plus, I want to be sure, really sure,

it's over between the two of you, like you said.

This waiting I can't stand.

I just want us to be together.

We will, just a few more days.

You are one crazy chick, I'll give you that.

I didn't know you had it in you, babe.

The hell with that.

I'm not fucking you.

We just met.

Oh, it's over between us.

Go on.

Show her, Howard.

Show her what?

Oh, God. You're both crazy.

I'm not having sex with her!

Shut up and fuck her, for Christ's sakes.

It's the one thing you do well.

Just make sure that-- Howard.

Just make sure that Howard can be trusted

to do everything we ask him to.

And hurry up. The maid will be here in a few hours.

The perfect murder's only perfect until it isn't.

Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow?

I love you.

Love you, too.

Fuck me.

Oh, you dirty little bugger.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You like it rough, don't you?

Oh, yeah. You fuckin' horny Sheila.

Yeah.

Now hit her.

And make it convincing.

Harder!

Good boy.

Hey, now we tie her up.

And that's when they took your husband

and left you tied up in your bedroom?

Yes.

It was horrible.

They beat him viciously.

I could hear his screams as they carried him away.

I'm sorry, Mrs. MacKendrick.

I know this is very difficult for you,

but I just have one more question.

Yes, of course.

Anything to help you find him.

Why were the security cameras turned off that night?

Why were the--

Security cameras?

This is a big estate.

I see you have a very elaborate security system,

and yet it was turned off.

It's embarrassing.

Well, this won't go any further than this room.

I promise.

Well...

my husband,

he can get a little kinky sometimes.

He's paranoid about a tape of us getting out--

you know, with YouTube and everything--

so he shuts the cameras off.

Well, that's very understandable.

Can I have some tea, please?

Of course.

Detective Conte, would you please get Mrs. MacKendrick some tea?

What is it?

It's a ransom note.

Thank God.

That means Charles is still alive.

What do they want?

10 million.

I hate to ask,

but do you have access

to that kind of money, Mrs. MacKendrick?

Move in. I repeat, all units move in.

You're surrounded!

Come out with your hands up!

Where's the money?

The bitch played us.

You better run fast, sweetheart...

because no matter how far you go...

you're not gonna hide from me.

Darla...

Beth?

You got the money?

Of course I do.

Where's Howard?

Around.

Why don't you come out here so I can see you better?

You can see me just fine.

Where's the cash, lover?

Around.

It sounds like we don't trust each other too much anymore.

Why is that?

I can think of 10 million reasons.

Oh, Darla.

So what do we do now?

We get the money and go.

That simple?

It can be.

Somehow I don't think so.

Okay, then.

Let's try this again.

So you're gonna make this hard, huh?

You said that's the way you like it.

I did, didn't I?

One more time, Darla.

Where's the money?

Last chance, baby.

Don't worry, Darla.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Howard?

Yeah, it's me.

That bitch was two-timing me with your husband.

How do you know?

She told me that's where she got this whole idea.

Said he was filthy rich and you were an easy mark.

Yeah, thought I was stupid.

Wonder how stupid she thinks I am now.

Come on out, Darla. I'm not gonna hurt you.

Really, I'm not.

10 million is a lot of cash.

I'll be happy with a taste.

Okay, Howard.

That's fair.

You t yourself a taste.

Is the gun really necessary?

Happy?

Ebullient.

What?

Never mind.

So where's the money?

Close.

Where's the money, Darla?

It was here.

I left it here.

You found it. No, I didn't.

Why would I still be here if I had the money?

What are you two trying to pull?

I believed you, Howard. I'm telling you the truth, I swear.

10 million doesn't just get up and walk away without some help.

You're lying to me.

No, I'm not. Look, I swear. I don't have the money.

Where is it, Howard? I don't know.

It's not too late.

I can still call an ambulance.

I told you, I don't know.

I don't know where it is.

You don't believe me?

That's the problem, Howard.

I .

♪

Poor Darla.

She thought she'd planned the perfect murder,

but greed makes suckers of all of us.

There is no easy way to make money in this economy...

unless, of course, you're Elena Machado,

a hard-working cleaning woman,

who just got a very-- --

very big severance package.

I guess it's safe to say

she won't be coming to work on Monday.

♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

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