Original subtitles

FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE?

DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th

AND 1/2 CENTURY

- I HAVE THE CODES, SIR.

- WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?

- I WAS AT A CONCERT LAST NIGHT.

LOST MY VOICE.

IT WAS A GREAT SHOW.

- JUST GIVE ME THE CODES.

- FRESH GROUND PEPPER, SIR?

- MAY I HELP YOU, SIR?

- YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

GET OUT OF MY MIND!

HUH?

STOP HIM!

HE HAS THE CODES!

(ALARM)

- SWEET OR SALTY?

SWEET OR SALTY?

HMM.

HEY, WAIT YOUR TURN, BUB.

BACK OFF, BUSTER.

YOU CAN'T BORROW A QUARTER.

IN FACT, I NEED TO BORROW A QUARTER FROM YOU...

PLEASE.

- LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT AS SMART AS YOU THINK YOU ARE,

MANOBRAIN.

- EEW.

A BRAIN?

GROSS.

- WRONG AS ALWAYS, I.Q.

I'M EXACTLY AS SMART AS I THINK I AM.

- I PLAYED THE FIFE IN MARCHING BAND.

(CHUCKLES)

- THE FIFE? AND YOU'RE STILL ALIVE?

- CUT THAT OUT!

SERIOUSLY, I'VE NEVER PLAYED THE FIFE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A FIFE LOOKS LIKE.

I PLAYED SPORTS WITH ELECTRICAL ORBS

AND LONG, HEFTY CUDGELS,

AND I WAS GOOD.

I MEAN IT. KNOCK IT OFF.

- DO IT AGAIN!

WAIT, LET ME GET A CAMERA FIRST.

THIS LIGHT'S GETTING AWFULLY HOT.

MAKES YOU JUST WANT TO SPILL THE BEANS, DON'T IT, CHUMP?

ALL RIGHT, I CONFESS!

SOMETIMES I DRINK MAYONNAISE STRAIGHT FROM THE JAR.

- LET'S NOT PLAY MIND GAMES, MANOBRAIN.

WE BOTH KNOW THOSE CODES WILL OPEN THE PERSONAL CLOSET

OF THE PRESIDENT OF OUTER SPACE.

- YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT SINCE COLLEGE...

UP-TIGHT, REPRESSED, HIGH-STRUNG,

YOU'RE EVEN STILL WEARING THOSE RIDICULOUS GLOVES.

- AND YOU'RE STILL THE SAME WORTHLESS, TREACHEROUS,

OVER-SIZED BALL OF GRAY MATTER YOU WERE IN COLLEGE.

- WAIT, YOU GUYS WENT TO THE SAME UNIVERSIT...

UNIVERSIT...ALMA MATER?

- WE WERE ROOMMATES IN THE DORM.

OUR ROOM WAS KNOWN AS THE "THINK TANK."

- BROTHER.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE MOST BORING ROOM ON CAMPUS.

- NO, IT WAS A CONGRESS OF BOLD IDEAS

AND INNOVATIVE THEORIES.

ANYWAY, AFTER WE GRADUATED,

WE WORKED TOGETHER FOR THE PROTECTORATE

UNTIL MANOBRAIN FALSELY ACCUSED ME OF BETRAYAL.

- YOU DID BETRAY ME.

- I DID NOT! - BROTHER.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE MOST BORING LAB ON EARTH.

- NEVER MIND HOW BORING WE WERE.

WE NEED THOSE CODES IN CASE THE PRESIDENT

LOCKS HIMSELF INSIDE HIS CLOSET.

- PRESIDENTIAL BLUE. I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WORE YELLOW...

I MEAN, BESIDES IMPEACHMENT. UH-OH.

- NO, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER.

WE'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

- I BET YOU LIKE TWO SUGARS, HUH?

WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE SUGAR IN THERE,

AND THAT'S AS GOOD AS IT GETS

UNTIL YOU TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW, SMART GUY.

- MANOBRAIN, IF YOU DON'T GIVE US THE CODES,

THE PRESIDENT OF OUTER SPACE WILL SUFFOCATE

AND YOU WILL BE CHARGED WITH HIS MURDER.

- AND YOU DON'T WANT MURDER ON YOUR RESUME. TRUST ME.

- I CANNOT GIVE THAT WHICH I DO NOT POSSESS.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU STOLE THE CODES FROM MY BRAIN.

- AND HID THEM IN HIS BRAIN.

- GUYS, LOOK AT THIS GREAT SUCTION HAT

I FOUND IN THE BATHROOM.

- OK, SO GET THEM OUT.

- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THERE?

IT'S A DISASTER.

NO OFFENSE.

- NONE TAKEN.

- THE PRESIDENT WILL RUN OUT OF AIR IN 8 HOURS.

WE MUST FIND THOSE CODES.

- WELL, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,

YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN ME.

- FINE. WE'LL ALL GO.

- GOOD LUCK TRYING TO GET IN THERE.

LAST TIME MANOBRAIN TOOK ME BY SURPRISE.

THIS TIME MY BRAIN IS READY.

NOTHING GETS IN OR OUT WITHOUT MY...

COME ON IN,

THE BRAIN'S FINE.

- SO, WHERE DO WE START?

- LET'S ASK A LOCAL.

FASCINATING.

THIS MUST BE DODGER'S ID,

AN EMBODIMENT OF DODGER'S MOST BASIC DESIRES

AND INSTINCTS.

- HOW CAN YOU MISSPELL "ID"?

- IDD? THAT ME.

ME WRITE NAME ON SIGN SO ME NOT FORGET IT.

ME SMART...AND HUNGRY.

- IF I REMBER FREUD CORRECTLY,

AND I DO,

DODGER'S CONSCIENCE, OR SUPER EGO,

MUST BE HERE SOMEWHERE.

- HALT, VILLAINOUS INTRUDERS,

OR FACE THE MIGHT OF SUPER EGO!

- OH, WE'RE NOT EVIL.

WE'RE FRIENDS.

- VERY WELL, IF YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT EVIL,

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

(LAUGHS) - GREAT.

DODGER'S EGO SHOULD ARRIVE ANY MINUTE.

I CAN'T WAIT.

- WHAT'S EGO?

- EGO IS HOW DODGER SEES HIMSELF.

(CAR HORN HONKS)

- WHOA-HEY!

THE NAME'S GO... E-GO.

- THIS EXPERIENCE MIGHT FINALLY REVEAL

WHAT MAKES CAPTAIN DODGERS TICK.

HE'S SO COMPLICATED,

LIKE A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN A RIDDLE INSIDE AN ENIGMA.

- I'D SAY HE'S MORE LIKE A HALF-WIT WRAPPED IN A HOT DOG BUN

INSIDE A COLORING BOOK.

- WE HAVE JUST OVER 7 HOURS

BEFORE THE PRESIDENT RUNS OUT OF AIR.

HE MUST BE SCARED TO DEATH.

- WELL, THAT'S THE LAST OF MY SHOES.

HMM.

- HOW CAN NONE OF YOU KNOW WHERE THE CODES ARE?

THIS IS DODGER'S BRAIN.

HOW BIG CAN IT BE?

- MAYBE WE CAN BRIBE THEM WITH SOMETHING,

LIKE A BALL OF YARN.

- GOOD THINKING.

LISTEN, DODGERSES,

IF YOU HELP US FIND THE CODES,

WE'LL GIVE YOU A PRESENT.

- PRESENT!

FOLLOW ME.

ME FIND CODES...

AND GRAVY!

SLIDE FAST.

KEEP HANDS AND FEET INSIDE AT ALL TIMES.

- AAH!

- I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.

THIS ROBE IS VELVET.

WHOA!

- SCAREDY BRAIN.

WHEE!

- CODES THIS WAY.

GRAVY, TOO.

- LOOK AT THIS.

IT'S RUINED.

- HEY, THAT'S CAPTAIN DODGERS.

I HAD NO IDEA HE CAME FROM SUCH HUMBLE BEGINNINGS.

MAYBE THIS IS WHY HE'S SO BAD WITH MONEY.

HE NEVER HAD ANY WHEN HE WAS YOUNG.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EAT THAT WHOLE PEA YOURSELVES, ARE YOU?

(BELL RINGS)

- HEY, DINNER'S READY AT MY HOUSE.

THANKS FOR THE GRUB, MR. AND MRS. NEIGHBOR.

(CRYING)

- IDD, WHERE ARE THE CODES?

- HERE CODES.

WHERE PRESENT?

AND WHAT, NO GRAVY?

- WE SAID CODES,

NOT "BONES," YOU NEANDERTHAL.

- OH, ME NOT KNOW WHERE THOSE ARE.

- WAIT, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CODES?

I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!

FOLLOW ME!

AREN'T YOU COMING?

- WE CAN'T FLY.

- YOU CAN'T?

WELL, THAT'S A CURVEBALL.

VERY WELL, HOP ON.

(SCREAMING)

ANOTHER PERFECT LANDING.

THIS IS THE SPOT.

DIG, MY FLIGHTLESS OUTLANDER FRIENDS.

THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN US AND VICTORY IS DIRT!

- I REMEMBER THIS, IT'S CAPTAIN DODGER'S

FIRST BATTLE AGAINST THE MARTIANS.

- WE SURRENDER.

OUR ARMY IS NO MATCH FOR YOU,

BRAVE, IMPOSSIBLY HANDSOME, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

- I ACCEPT YOUR SURRENDER.

IF IT HELPS, YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE.

- OH, THANK YOU, MY MASTER.

- I LOVE THEE, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

IF ONLY I WERE WORTHY TO BE THE WIFE

OF SO GREAT A HERO.

BUT ALAS, I AM NOT.

- YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN DO BETTER.

- THIS IS NOT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

- OH? AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

- I WAS THERE.

- I DON'T THINK SO.

THE ONLY OTHER PERSON HERE IS THE CADET.

- GOOD EVEN...GOOD EVEN... GOOD EVEN...

BUENOS NOCHES.

- THAT IS NOT ME.

- I KNOW. THAT'S THE CADET.

- NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU TURN THAT ME INTO ME ME RIGHT NOW.

- LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS WAS MY BRAIN,

AND IT STILL IS...

UNLESS MY LEASE IS UP.

IS IT?

- EVERYONE, STOP DIGGING!

HERE'S THE GOLD!

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR SUPER EGO!

- YOU SUPER IMBECILE,

WE NEED CODES, NOT GOLD.

- PERHAPS THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MINDS.

IT'S CHOCOLATE, AND IT'S DELICIOUS.

- WE ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS LEFT.

I JUST HOPE THE PRESIDENT IS HOLDING UP.

- OH, NO!

THIS LOOKS DREADFUL ON ME.

- I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THE CODES ARE, GENTLEMEN.

GET IN.

- THIS MUST BE DODGER'S ULTIMATE FANTASY.

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE AFRAID.

- HOWDY, STRANGERS.

WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

TODAY'S SPECIAL IS NIGHTCRAWLERS.

- THIS IS HIS ULTIMATE FANTASY,

TO RUN A BAIT SHOP?

- A FAILING BAIT SHOP, APPARENTLY.

- AREN'T YOU HOLLYWOOD STAR LONI ANDERSON?

- YES, AND IF YOU THINK THIS IS A BAD FANTASY,

IMAGINE HOW I FEEL.

I HAVE TO LIVE HERE AND BE HIS WIFE.

PLEASE, SAVE ME.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. OH, TAKE ME.

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE PLEASE.

PLEASE SAVE ME.

OH, NO, DON'T GO.

- DODGERS, DO YOU HAVE THE CODES?

- SURE DO.

THEY'RE FREE WITH EVERY POUND OF BAIT YOU BUY.

- WE DON'T NEED BAIT.

WE JUST WANT THE CODES.

- SORRY. IF YOU WANT THE CODES,

YOU GOT TO BUY SOME BAIT.

- OK.

ARE THE MINNOWS LIVELY?

- JUST PICK SOMETHING.

- DO YOU HAVE HONEY?

OH, NO, WAIT.

THAT'S BEES.

OOH, CRAWDADS!

- WE'LL TAKE THE MINNOWS...

AND THE CRAWDADS.

- WOULD YOU LIKE A SIDE OF LEECHES?

- JUST GIVE US THE CODES.

- YOUR TOADS, GENTLEMEN.

(CROAKING)

- TOADS?

TOADS!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS BRAIN?

- WE ONLY HAVE 3 HOURS LEFT.

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP LOOKING.

- IF YOU'RE IN A RUSH TO SEE THE SIGHTS,

YOU SHOULD TAKE THE GUIDED TOUR.

IT'S ONLY 12 ASTROBUCKS PER PERSON...

WITH A PAID PURCHASE.

- HELP!

- PLEASE, PLEASE!

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

- WELCOME.

THIS DODGER'S BRAIN TOURS.

OUT LEFT SIDE, YOU SEE ANIMALS.

ON RIGHT, ANIMALS.

QUESTIONS?

- IF YOU'LL DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION

TO THE FRONT OF THE TRAM,

YOU'LL SEE SOME PERFECTLY SCULPTED MUSCLES.

ENJOY THE VIEW.

- HOW MUCH DO THEY PAY YOU TO WORK WITH THIS GUY?

- I'M NOT SURE.

CAPTAIN DODGERS INVESTS MY PAYCHECK IN REAL ESTATE.

HE SAYS IT'S FOR MY OWN GOOD.

- HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?

- NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

- WELCOME TO THE MIRACLE OF DODGERS,

A CELEBRATION OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING

IN THE UNIVERSE...

ME.

- YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND

A LOGICAL STRUCTURE IN DODGER'S MIND,

OR LOGIC PERIOD.

- AND?

- IT'S FUTILE.

SEE FOR YOURSELF.

- ON LEFT SIDE...

HEY, THAT ME!

- FASTER, SLAVES. THE PHOTOGRAPHER FROM "PYRAMID AND GARDEN"

WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

- THIS FOOL HAS GREATER DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR THAN I DO.

NO SMALL FEAT, I ASSURE YOU.

- BUY ME RIGHT NOW

AND YOU GET A ME ICE TRAY

FOR ONLY 3,000 ASTRODOLLARS.

THAT'S 3,000 TIMES WHAT IT'S WORTH.

YOU'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO PASS UP A DEAL THIS GOOD.

CALL NOW.

- OFFER NOT VALID OUTSIDE OF DODGER'S BRAIN

OR IN THE STATES OF VERMONT OR WEST VIRGINIA.

- NO, WE'RE MISSING SOMETHING HERE.

I JUST CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT.

- IS ANYBODY ACTUALLY ROWING?

BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T MOVED AN INCH.

- STOP!

- IT'S THE LAB I SHARED WITH I.Q.

WHEN I WORKED FOR THE PROTECTORATE.

- YOU'RE RIGHT. REMARKABLE.

- THIS IS IT, THE DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED,

THE DAY I.Q. BETRAYED ME,

FORCING ME TO QUIT THE PROTECTORATE

AND BECOME A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND.

- I TOLD YOU THEN AND I'LL TELL YOU NOW,

I DIDN'T BETRAY YOU!

- WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER, I.Q.?

THIS IS THE DAY I FINALLY COMPLETED MY MIRACLE DIET PILL...

A PILL THAT ENABLED PEOPLE TO EAT WHATEVER THEY WANTED

WITHOUT GAING A POUND.

- OW!

- WAIT.

WHAT'S HE DOING THERE?

- WAH!

- THAT'S HOW HE EATS SO MUCH AND STAYS SO THIN.

- ALL THESE YEARS I THOUGHT...

- I KNOW. IT'S OK.

- I DRAGGED YOUR NAME THROUGH THE MUD FOR YEARS.

I MEAN, THE LIES, THE RUMORS, THE TELL-ALL BOOK.

- WELL, WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

I FORGIVE YOU.

TELL-ALL BOOK?

- I'M SORRY!

- I'M SORRY, TOO, OLD CHUM.

- ME SORRY, TOO.

- WE SHALL NEVER BE PARTED AGAIN...

- EVEN WHEN WE ARE SLEEPING.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- OH, THIS AWKWARD.

- WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR LEFT.

- I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

HOW MUCH THE PRESIDENT IS SUFFERING.

- WHY, YES, AMBASSADOR GORGARIAN,

I DO ENJOY BEING THE FIRST LADY,

BUT MY HUSBAND DIDN'T REVIVE THE ECONOMY.

OH, NO.

I DID,

BY SPENDING EVERY PENNY HE MAKES.

(GIGGLES)

- LET ME GUESS:

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT DODGERS HAS FORGOTTEN.

- CAPTAIN DODGERS ALWAYS FORGETS HIS KEYS AND NUMBERS.

- NUMBERS! THAT'S IT.

WHAT'S THE ONE THING WE HAVEN'T ENCOUNTERED IN DODGER'S BRAIN?

- COHERENT THOUGHT?

- BESIDES THAT.

- FEARS!

- EXACTLY.

THE CODES AREN'T JUST NUMBERS,

THEY'RE COMPLEX MATHEMATICAL FORMULAS.

- AND CAPTAIN DODGERS IS TERRIFIED OF MATH.

- WHERE ARE THE FEARS?

- NO.

FEARS BAD.

ME NOT GO THERE!

- GO WHERE?

WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

- OH, HE'S JUST AFRAID

OF GOING TO

THE DUNGEON OF FEARS.

- PERSONALLY, I DON'T GO THERE.

OH, NOT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID.

WELL, ACTUALLY, YES.

- IT'S BECAUSE I'M AFRAID.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

- ME SCARED.

- YOU'RE WRINKLING MY TUX.

- THIS IS A JOB FOR SOMEONE OTHER THAN SUPER EGO.

SHAMS INCOMING!

EVERYBODY DOWN!

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

STAY FROSTY.

DODGERS IS AFRAID OF PILLOW SHAMS?

- HOME DECOR IN GENERAL, ACTUALLY.

- LOOK, FRUIT!

- AND VEGETABLES.

- GET OFF OF ME, YOU CRETIN.

- NO!

I'M TOO YOUNG TO EXERCISE.

- TAX RETURN INSTRUCTION BOOKLET.

- TAXES?

AAH!

- THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE.

I WANT THOSE CODES AND I WANT THEM NOW!

- YOU MEAN THESE CODES, JERK-FACE?

- NO.

IT CAN'T BE!

- THAT'S REGGIE WASSERSTEIN.

HE WAS THE TOUGHEST BULLY IN THIRD GRADE.

NOW HE'S THE GREATEST VILLAIN IN ALL OF BRAIN LAND.

- HAND OVER THOSE CODES, SON.

- SURE.

HERE YOU GO, NERD HAT.

- AAH!

- ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE MONSTER,

DROP THOSE CODES RIGHT NOW OR I'LL...

- EAT BOARD, LAME BRAIN.

- OK, THAT'S NO NORMAL KID.

WE'RE GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP.

(WHIMPERING)

COME ON, IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU.

YOU'LL BE SAVING THE PRESIDENT OF OUTER SPACE

AND CONQUERING YOUR WORST FEAR AT THE SAME TIME.

(WHIMPERING)

I'LL GIVE YOU 3 ASTRODOLLARS.

- DEAL.

- WAH!

NO FAIR.

I'M TELLING MY MOM!

- 3 MINUTES TO SPARE.

YOU CAN ERASE ALL MEMORIES

OF THIS FROM OUR BRAINS, RIGHT?

- THE MOMENT WE LEAVE.

- CITIZENS OF THE UNIVERSE,

I AM THE FIRST LADY OF OUTER SPACE,

AND I'M THE ONE WHO REALLY WEARS THE PANTS IN THIS UNIVERSE.

YOU MAY HAVE ELECTED MY HUSBAND AS YOUR LEADER,

BUT LET'S FACE IT, I RUN THE SHOW.

MARG...MARGARET!

MARGARET, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THAT, DID YOU?

- YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ERASE...

- WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

- MANOBRAIN AND I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME.

NOT ONLY DID WE CREATE THE MIRACLE DIET PILL...

- BUT ALSO A MIRACLE BREATH MINT

THAT WILL GIVE PEOPLE FRESH BREATH FOR LIFE

NO MATTER WHAT THEY EAT.

- WE'RE GOING TO BE RICHER THAN PROFESSIONAL BOWLERS.

- THE PILLS, THEY'RE GONE!

YOU DID IT AGAIN!

- OH, I GUESS WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE RICHER

THAN PROFESSIONAL BOWLERS.

- STRANGE, ISN'T IT, SIR?

NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU KNOW SOMEONE,

THEY CAN STILL SURPRISE YOU.

YOU TOOK THE PILLS, DIDN'T YOU?

- YEP.

SO FIRE UP THE LARD,

WE'RE HAVING DEEP-FRIED GARLIC FOR LUNCH.

- I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT, TOO.