Original subtitles

FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE?

DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th

AND 1/2 CENTURY

- ALL RIGHT, BUSTER. IT'S YOU AND ME!

YOUR MAMA CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW

BECAUSE THIS TIME IT'S GO TIME!

- UH, UH, D-DO YOU NEED SOME HELP, CAPTAIN?

- IT'S...ALL...UNDER...CONTROL.

THESE CONDIMENT PACKETS ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE.

- MUST HAVE LOOSENED IT FOR YOU.

- HERE. GET STARTED ON THESE.

- IS THAT A GOOD IDEA, CAPTAIN?

YOU REMEMBER THE HEARING, DON'T YOU?

- AND FROM THIS DAY FORTH, NO MUSTARD WHATSOEVER

SHALL BE PRESENT IN ANY WAY ON PROTECTORATE PROPERTY.

- WHY IS THAT AGAIN?

- DODGERS!

- I'M SURE THEY DIDN'T MEAN ME WHEN THEY SAID,

"CAPTAIN DODGERS, YOU'RE FORBIDDEN

TO EVEN LOOK AT MUSTARD."

- D-DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING

TO THE CAPTAINS' ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS TOMORROW NIGHT?

- THE CAPTAINIES ARE TOMORROW?

I BETTER GET CRACKING

ON MY CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.

- BUT, SIR, YOU HAVEN'T WON A SINGLE CAPTAINY

IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER.

M-MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO SET YOUR SIGHTS A LITTLE LOWER.

- ORDINARILY, I'D JUMP AT THE CHANCE,

BUT THIS TIME, I'M GOING TO CLAIM

WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY MINE.

- DODGERS, YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL

THAT NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HAVE MUSTARD IN THE CAFETERIA,

ESPECIALLY NOT YOU.

- AW, BUCK UP, BIG FELLA.

I KNOW WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING YOU.

THE THOUGHT OF LOSING CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR TO ME

AFTER WINNING IT 6 YEARS IN A ROW MUST BE TRAUMATIC,

BUT IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION,

I REALLY DESERVE IT MORE THAN YOU DO.

- HA HA HA!

DODGERS, THE ONLY THING YOU DESERVE

ARE MEDICAL DISCHARGE PAPERS, AND IT'S 7 YEARS,

NOT THAT I KEEP TRACK OF THOSE THINGS.

- OH, YOU KEEP TRACK ALL RI...NN-NN-NN-NN.

L-LIEUTENANT...

- AURORA... - SOLEIL.

- HELLO, CAPTAIN JOHNSON, CAPTAIN DODGERS, CADET.

YOU SEEM AWFULLY CALM

FOR THE DAY BEFORE THE CAPTAINIES.

AREN'T YOU EVEN A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW?

- NERVOUS... - ABOUT...

- T-TOMORROW? - I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.

CAPTAINS DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF BEING NERVOUS.

STILL, IF I WAS A CAPTAIN, I'M SURE BY NOW

I'D BE READY FOR THE LOONY BIN.

- THE... - LOONY...

- B-B...PSYCHIATRIC WARD.

- GUESS I'LL FIND OUT IF I MAKE CAPTAIN SOMEDAY.

ANYWAY, WE'RE SEATED AT THE SAME TABLE FOR THE AWARDS,

WHICH MAKES THIS KIND OF LIKE OUR FIRST DATE.

I CAN'T WAIT. SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT.

BYE-BYE.

- YES! I'VE FINALLY SCORED A DATE WITH LIEUTENANT SOLEIL!

- WHAT? SHE OBVIOUSLY MEANT ME.

- YOU? YOU'RE MORE DELUSIONAL THAN YOU THINK I AM.

- OH, NO, I'M...HUH?

- HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT PERHAPS

LIEUT...LIEUTE...LIEUTENANT- D-D...UH, SHE WAS TALKING TO ME?

- THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD!

- ALMOST AS RIDICULOUS AS THE IDEA

OF YOU WINNING CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR.

HA HA HA!

OOH, THIS IS FUN. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN.

HA HA HA!

OR NOT. EITHER WAY.

- I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR AWARD.

EVEN THOUGH I'M LONG OVERDUE,

IT'S POSSIBLE MY PERFORMANCE THIS YEAR

HASN'T BEEN COMPLETELY FLAWLESS.

- TH-TH-THAT'S OK. -AS LONG AS YOU FINISH STRONG,

THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

- TRUE. THAT WORKED FOR MY CONGRESSIONAL CAMPAIGN,

BUT WE MIGHT NEED A LITTLE EXTRA BOOST FOR THE CAPTAINIES.

- MAYBE YOU COULD START BY WORKING EXTRA HOURS,

OR EVEN BETTER, YOU COULD START BY B-WORKING.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DO MY JOB?

NAH, TOO RISKY.

MY BEST BET IS TO DRAG THE OTHER CAPTAINS

DOWN TO MY LEVEL.

- I SEE, SO INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR DUTY,

YOU'RE GONNA PREVENT OTHER CAPTAINS

FROM DOING THEIR DUTY.

- YEAH. WELL, NOT JUST ME...WE.

- I REFUSE TO DAMAGE CAPTAIN RODMAN'S SHIP.

BESIDES, DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT'S GONNA WORK?

- TRUST ME. NOBODY RUINS STUFF BETTER THAN ME.

- G-GOOD POINT.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

- UH-OH. BETTER CALL MAHE-CO.

- OOH-OOH, AHH-AHH. MAHE-CO, MAHE-CO!

OOH-OOH, AHH-AHH.

- AH. THERE YOU ARE MAHE-CO.

I NEED YOU TO RUN A FULL DIAGNOSTIC

ON THE PROPULSION MODULATORS,

INCLUDING THE AUXILIARY COOLANT DISTRIBUTORS.

CAN YOU DO THAT, MAHE-CO?

(YELLING) - (SCREECHING)

- CURSED MONKEYS!

- THANKS TO ME AND THAT CRAZY MONKEY,

CAPTAIN RODMAN DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE OF WINNING.

- OR FOR THAT MATTER, ANY MORE HAIR.

- HA HA HEE HEE!

(BUZZING)

- GRR. - GRR.

- GRR. - GRR!

- GRR.

- HUH? - GRR!

- HEY, IT WASN'T ME!

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING!

(CLICK)

- OK. SO WE JUST HOIST THIS PUPPY UP

AND GLUE IT TO THE CEILING.

THAT STIFF, JOHNSON, WILL FLIP WHEN HE SEES IT.

HAND ME THE GLUE, CADET.

- UH, Y-YOU HAVE THE GLUE.

- NO. I SPECIFICALLY GAVE IT TO YOU

BECAUSE THE BOTTLE WAS LEAKING

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO STICK TO ANYTHING.

- YAGEE! - LOOKING FOR THIS?

IT'S OVER, DODGERS!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO,

AND I HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROVE IT.

- OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE.

I SAW THE LIGHT AND JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU LUCK TOMORROW,

NOT THAT YOU NEED LUCK.

GOOD CAPTAINS LEAVE NOTHING TO CHANCE.

STILL, A LITTLE LUCK NEVER HURT ANYBODY, EVEN A CAPTAIN.

- UH, TH-TH-THEY'RE ACTUALLY SLEEPING WITH THEIR EYES OPEN.

HA HA HA! A LITTLE CAPTAIN'S TRICK,

BUT I'LL GIVE THEM THE MESSAGE WHEN THEY WAKE UP.

- THANKS. ANYWAY, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT.

- BOY, SHE'S GOT IT BAD FOR ME.

- YOU? THIS IS MY SHIP.

SHE CAME HERE LOOKING FOR ME.

- OR MAYBE SHE CAME HERE LOOKING FOR THE CADET.

HA HA HA! - HA HA HA!

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

LET'S SETTLE THIS WHOLE THING IN PRIVATE.

WE'LL RACE IN THE PROTECTORATE FLIGHT OBSTACLE COURSE.

WHOEVER WINS GETS THE CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR AWARD

AN LIEUTENANT SOLEIL.

- YOU'RE ON! - GREAT. LET'S GO RIGHT NOW.

(SQUEAKING)

OK. LET'S GET SOME SLEEP WHILE THE GLUE WEARS OFF

AND THEN GO.

(SNORING)

- USING AUTOPILOT IS COOL, RIGHT?

- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA TAKE?

I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE CAPTAINIES.

- JUST START THE RACE, CADET.

- AND LEAVE THE FLYING TO US.

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

- WAIT. HOW DO I TURN LEFT AGAIN?

(DINGING)

(SQUEAKING)

YEAH! I ROCK!

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE A LOSER, JOHNSON?

- YOU TELL ME. YOU'VE BEEN ONE

YOUR ENTIRE CAREER, INCLUDING TONIGHT.

- OH, YEAH?

WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT THE CADET,

WHOSE JOB DEPENDS ON ME WINNING,

HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

- WANT TO SPLIT A CAB TO THE AWARDS?

- SURE. SHOTGUN!

- FINE. AND I GET SHOTGUN ON THE WAY HOME.

- IT'S NOT MY FAULT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TIE A BOW TIE.

UGH!

OR SHOELACES.

- GOOD EVENING.

I AM XAINIUS THE ETERNAL,

THOUGH SOME MAY KNOW ME AS DUSTIN DIAMOND,

THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED SCREECH ON "SAVED BY THE BELL."

TONIGHT, I'M HERE TO HONOR A TRADITION

THAT, LIKE ME, WILL NEVER GROW OLD OR DIE...EXCELLENCE...

AND NO ONE EMBODIES THAT TRADITION MORE THOROUGHLY

THAN TONIGHT'S NOMINEES FOR CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR.

THE NOMINEES ARE CAPTAIN DALLAS RODMAN...

-(APPLAUSE) - AAH!

- CAPTAIN STAR JOHNSON...

- FIRE AT WILL!

NOBODY PARKS IN MY SPOT.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

- AND CAPTAIN DUCK DODGERS.

AND THE CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR IS...

HMM. THIS IS A SURPRISE.

IN FACT, THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME

THE WARLORDS OF DINOVOID INVADED THE SCHOOL

AND ENSLAVED MR. BELDING.

HA HA HA!

I AM IMMORTAL!

- UH, THIS AWARD IS A FIRST BECAUSE BEFORE TONIGHT

OUR WINNER WAS NEITHER A NOMINEE NOR A CAPTAIN.

PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST CAPTAIN IN THE FLEET

AND YOUR CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR... CAPTAIN AURORA SOLEIL.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

- WOW. I'VE WANTED TO BE A CAPTAIN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

TO BECOME ONE AND WIN THIS AWARD IN ONE NIGHT IS A TRUE HONOR.

THERE'S SOMEONE IN PARTICULAR I'D LIKE TO THANK

FOR INSPIRING ME, MY DATE...THE CADET.

(APPLAUSE)

COME ON, GUYS.

DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE?

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR,

YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT MATTER

LIKE TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND...

- I-INTEGRITY.

- SEE YOU AT SCREECH'S PARTY, HONEY.

- CADET, HOW COULD YOU?

I BET YOU EVEN VOTED FOR HER, DIDN'T YOU?

- S-SORRY, BUT SHE'S CAPTAIN NOW.

HA HA HA!

I HAVE MY ORDERS.

- KNOW WHAT THIS SITUATION CALLS FOR?

- A GOOD HARD LOOK AT OURSELVES?

- NO. MUSTARD!

HEY. THE NIGHT'S NOT A TOTAL BUST.

NEVER MIND.