Original subtitles

FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE

DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS, HE'S FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

- CAPTAIN'S LOG: 86.75.309.

OUR EXPLORATORY PROBE OF THE KLONDIKE POLAR WORLD

WAS SUCCESSFUL.

SO SUCCESSFUL, IN FACT,

OUR FINDINGS ARE BEST DETAILED IN SONG.

ON DAY ONE, WE SAW SOME SNOWFLAKES

EACH ONE A DIFFERENT KIND

THERE WERE SMALL ONES, BIG ONES, ROUND ONES

SQUARE ONES, EVERY KIND OF...THING

I JUST BESTED MY OWN RECORD

FOR THE MOST CONSECUTIVE HOURS OF SLEEP:

34 AND CHANGE.

I HIT A ROUGH PATCH AT HOUR 27,

BUT AFTER A SLIGHT PILLOW ADJUSTMENT...

CADET?

TRYING TO BREAK MY RECORD, EH?

EGAD!

CADET, WHY HAVE YOU PLUCKED OUT YOUR OWN EYEBALLS

AND REPLACED THEM WITH MARASCHINO CHERRIES?

- I DIDN'T SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT.

OH, AND IT'S BEEN 4 YEARS SINCE MY LAST SHORE LEAVE.

- WELL, I HATE TO PAMPER YOU,

BUT THIS WEEKEND MIGHT BE KIND OF SLOW,

SO MAYBE YOU COULD...

NO WORK ETHIC WHATSOEVER.

OOH!

TIME FOR MY NAP.

- COMMANDER, WE'VE BEEN ORDERED

TO GO ON A TOP-SECRET MISSION

BY THE QUEEN HERSELF.

- PERFECT!

WHEN DO WE DEPART?

- OH, UM...

THE ORDERS ARE... CENTURIONS ONLY.

- WHAT?

SURELY THE QUEEN MEANT ME AS WELL.

WAIT, THIS DOESN'T LOOK

LIKE THE QUEEN'S HANDWRITING.

- THE NOTE MUST BE DESTROYED IMMEDIATELY.

- HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE?

- WELL, THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW FOR SURE,

BUT ALL WEEKEND DEFINITELY.

- AW. I THOUGHT WE COULD ALL WAX THE SHIP TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND.

BUT IF THE QUEEN...HUH?

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT THE SHIP TO OURSELVES AGAIN, GUYS.

- GARCON,

ANOTHER MANGO-BANA FRUIT PA-PA-PA...

ONE OF THESE, PLEASE.

YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER.

IT'S SILLY THAT WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER,

AND YET WE PRACTICALLY WORK TOGETHER.

- ANOTHER SHIRLEY TEMPLE, PLEASE.

- SO, THIS IS THE CADET'S TO-DO LIST, HUH?

I CAN HANDLE THIS.

OR WATCH TV INSTEAD.

- THAT'S IT.

FROM NOW ON, NO SHOES ON THE SHIP.

NO EXCEPTIONS!

- OH, PRINCE DODGERS,

YOU'RE SO BRAVE AND HANDSOME

AND STRONG AND HANDSOME AND RICH...

AND HANDSOME!

HOW CAN I, A KNOCK-OUT SINGLE PRINCESS,

EVER REPAY YOU FOR SAVING ME

WITH YOUR BIG, MUSCLY ARMS, LEGS, AND CHEST?

PUCKER UP, YOU ROYAL DOLL FACE.

WOW!

WHAT A WOMAN!

- DODGERS!

YOUR SNEAK ATTACK INCAPACITATED MY ENGINES!

VERY CUNNING, BY THE WAY.

- OH, YEAH.

SNEAK ATTACK.

- LISTEN TO ME.

THE IMPACT FUSED OUR HULLS, AND WE'RE IN A FLAT SPIN.

TELL THE CADET TO REVERSE YOUR THRUSTERS AND...

WAIT, WHERE'S THE CADET?

- I GAVE HIM THE WEEKEND OFF. WHY?

- NO REASON.

- I FEEL LIKE A GRACEFUL SWAN.

- AND I, A MAJESTIC WHOOPING CRANE.

- SO, WHERE ARE WE?

- BEFORE IT MELTED INTO PASTE,

MY COMPUTER IDENTIFIED THIS AS NOLANDIS,

THE ISLAND PLANET.

- NO LIGHTS, NO PHONES,

NO AEROCARS, NOT A SINGLE NECESSITY.

BOY, THIS IS SOME MESS YOU MADE.

- ME? YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO COMMITTED AN UNPROVOKED ACT OF WAR.

- OH, YOU WANT WAR, YOU GOT WAR!

FROM NOW ON,

THIS SIDE IS DODGERS MUNICIPAL BEACH.

YOU CALL YOUR SIDE WHATEVER YOU WANT,

BUT I'M GONNA CALL IT LAMESVILLE.

- I'M SORRY,

BUT YOU'RE STANDING ON MARTIAN LAND.

IF YOU WANT TO STAY,

I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO SIGN A LEASE

AND PAY RENT.

- I'M NOT SIGNING ANYTHING, PAL!

YOUR RATES ARE OUTRAGEOUS,

OCEAN VIEW OR NOT!

- THERE'S NO TIME FOR YOUR NONSENSE, DODGERS!

WE MUST MARSHAL OUR RESOURCES

AND SECURE WATER, FOOD, AND SHELTER

FOR OURSELVES IMMEDIATELY.

WE EITHER LIVE TOGETHER OR DIE APART.

- WAIT.

NOW YOU WANT TO BE ROOMIES, TOO?

YOU KNOW, FOR A SWORN ENEMY,

YOU'RE AWFULLY NEEDY.

- WITH SEVERE RATIONING,

THIS CONDENSATION MAY SAVE OUR LIVES.

- KEEP THAT WATER COMING, ROOMIE.

- DODGERS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

- WELL, I SAW THE TUB AND SAID,

"WHY NOT TAKE A BATH?

I'VE EARNED IT."

- THAT'S OUR DRINKING WATER!

WE NEED THAT TO STAY ALIVE!

- I'VE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE.

- ON SECOND THOUGHT,

PERHAPS WE'LL FARE BETTER IF WE SEPARATE.

- FINE, LEAVE!

I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP ANYWAY!

NEED A LITTLE HELP HERE!

- AMAZING!

MOTHER WAS RIGHT.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA.

- HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, SON.

INTERGALACTIC WILDLIFE PARKS AND NATURE HIKES COMMISSION.

CAN I SEE YOUR FISHING LICENSE?

- LICENSE?

BUT I DON'T HAVE ONE.

- NO LICENSE, NO FISH, SON.

I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO CONFISCATE YOUR GEAR

AND RELEASE YOUR CATCHES OF THE DAY.

- I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW.

- YOU INCREDIBLE CRETIN!

NOW I HAVE TO CATCH ALL THOSE FISH AGAIN!

- NOT WITH THIS, YOU DON'T.

- DO YOU WANT TO STARVE TO DEATH?

- OH, YOU'RE JUST MAD BECAUSE I GOT YOU HOOK,

LINE, AND SINKER.

HA HA HA HA HA!

- OH.

NOW I HAVE TO MAKE A NEW HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.

"RESOURCES DWINDLING.

"WATER DEPLETED.

ONLY ONE MATCH LEFT."

HOW CAN ONE KEEP A PROPER JOURNAL

WITHOUT PROPER ILLUMINATION?

AH! MUCH BETTER.

YAH!

- HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA!

OH, HO HO HO HO!

THAT WAS PRICELESS! PRICELESS!

HA HA HA HA HA!

- YOU DO REALIZE WE'RE NOW OUT OF MATCHES

AND DRINKING WATER.

- MATCHES? HA!

WHO NEEDS FIRE?

IT'S ALREADY TOO HOT.

AND WE'VE GOT A WHOLE OCEAN OF WATER.

AW, SURE, IT'S SALTY,

BUT YOU GET USED TO THAT.

- THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF STRAW.

I WONDER WHAT HE WROTE ABOUT ME.

HMM. "DODGERS IS WASTEFUL"?

WHY, I...

THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!

EAT CONUTS, YOU JERK!

- I'M NOT A JERK, JERK!

- BIKINI-CLAD NURSING STUDENT SORORITY SISTERS WIN AGAIN.

- WANT TO PLAY BEST OUT OF...

BEST OUT OF 50?

- SURE! - SURE!

- YES! - YES!

- THIS IS THE END.

- YEP.

- WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.

- NOPE.

- I WISH I'D LEARNED TO PLAY

CHERVOINI'S "FIFTH CONCERTO" ON PIANO.

- I WISH I HADN'T WASTED ALL THAT TIME TAKING PIANO LESSONS.

- IT MIGHT BE THE EXHAUSTION

OR THE STARVATION

OR THE FACT THAT WE MIGHT BE DEAD SOON,

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE

PERHAPS THE ONLY REAL FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.

- HA HA HA!

WHAT A LOSER!

AH HA HA HA HA!

ME, I'VE GOT LOTS OF FRIENDS.

LOADS OF 'EM.

BUT I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT SO BAD,

YOU KNOW, FOR A BAD GUY.

CADET?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SIR?

I'M ON VACATION.

CLUB SLOTH BEACH RESORT IS RIGHT BEHIND THOSE TREES.

- HOLD ON!

YOU MEAN THIS DESERTED ISLAND DEATHTRAP

IS ACTUALLY A TROPICAL ISLAND TOURIST TRAP?

- ACTUALLY, IT'S QUITE REASONABLE

IF YOU TRAVEL WITH A GROUP.

OH, NO.

CAPTAIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE SHIP?

- NOTHING. HE DID IT.

- YES, I MAROONED MYSELF

ON AN ISLAND WITH HIM ON PURPOSE.

- SEE? HE JUST CONFESSED.

- UH, SIR, ALL YOU HAD TO DO TO REACH ME

WAS PUSH ONE ON YOUR CELL PHONE.

- YOU HAD A CELL PHONE THIS ENTIRE TIME?!

- SURE. I'M NOT A CAVEMAN.

I JUST DON'T LIKE TO USE UP MY MINUTES IS ALL.

- OH!

- OH, UH...

THERE YOU ARE, SIR.

WE FINALLY FOUND YOU.

UM...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

- SEIZE THE EARTHLINGS,

AND BRING ME A MATCH.

I'M HOSTING A BEACH BARBECUE

FEATURING ROAST DUCK!

- AW, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T ROAST

THE ONLY REAL FRIEND YOU'VE EVER HAD.

- UH, UH, UH...

LIES!

WRETCHED EARTHLING LIES!

OH, I DESPISE YOU!

AND NOW I SHALL HALT YOUR TREACHERY ONCE AND FOR ALL!

- HEY, GUYS,

AREN'T WE GONNA FINISH OUR GAME?

- AFTER WE FINISH THE GAME, I MEAN.

- OH, BOY!

- COME ON! - I HOPE I GET TO SERVE!

- MIGHT BE TOUGH TO FINISH WITHOUT YOU,

EH, SPALDING?