Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON "DUCK DODGERS":

LEADERS FROM EARTH AND MARS ARE GATHERED

TO SIGN THIS HISTORIC PEACE TREATY.

- BUT IF THERE'S PEACE...

I COULD LOSE MY JOB!

- OF COURSE, YOU KNOW...

THIS MEANS WAR!

- I SABOTAGED THE PENS! - I'LL TAKE THE BLAME.

- YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO THE WONTONAGUANAMO BAY

PENAL COLONY!

- WE'LL NEGOTIATE ONLY WITH HIM.

- YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED TO THE RANK OF REAR ADMIRAL!

- YOU AND I WILL SIGN THE PEACE TREATY BETWEEN OUR WORLDS.

- THESE ARE THE CODES TO THE EARTH SATELLITE DEFENSE SYSTEM.

SHARE THESE WITH THE MARTIANS

ONLY AFTER THE TREATY IS SIGNED.

- WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

- THE EARTHLING DUCK WILL UNWITTINGLY SURRENDER

HIS PLANET TO MY RULE.

- Z-9 IS A TRAITOR!

- NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, JOHNSON!

- I HAVE TO SAVE MY BESTEST PAL IN THE WHOLE GALAXY...CADET.

- YOUR MAJESTY! YOU'RE IN GRAVE DANGER!

- ATOMIZE HIM.

- YAAAAAHHH!

* FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE *

* BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE? *

* DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY *

* PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK *

* DUCK DODGERS, HE'S FIGHTING TYRANNY *

* IN THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY... *

- CAPTAIN'S LOG, FINAL ENTRY:

AAAHH! HELP!

NOW, IF CADET WASN'T IN THE JUG,

HE'D COME UP WITH SOME CLEVER PLAN...

LIKE DESTROYING THAT CRUSHER!

(PING)

- COMMANDER X-2 HAS LEARNED OF MY PLAN

TO CONQUER BOTH MARS AND EARTH.

HE MUST BE SILENCED.

- BY YOUR COMMAND.

(PANTING)

- AAH!

AAH!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

- DESTROY THE PURSUERS!

- AT EASE, CENTURIONS. I'LL TAKE OVER MYSELF.

HAAH! HYAH! HYAAAH!

- YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT EASY, DID YOU?

- YOU KNOW, FOR A SECOND THERE,

YES, I DID!

HAH! HYAH! UNH!

(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

- WHOA!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

- GRRRR!

- DODGERS!

YOU SAVED ME FROM THE JAWS OF DEATH?

- DON'T GET ALL MUSHY, MATILDA.

I NEED YOUR HELP TO RESCUE MY PORKER PAL

FROM WONTONAGUANAMO BAY.

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPRING STAR JOHNSON AS WELL.

- HOW'D GLORY BOY END UP IN THE CLINK?

- I'LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY.

THE FATE OF THE GALAXY DEPENDS ON US!

- THIS IS TREASON, Z-9!

- ONLY UNTIL THE NEW RULING ORDER TAKES OVER...

AND THAT'S ME.

- COMMANDER X-2 WILL STOP YOU.

- IF I KNOW THAT LITTLE RUNT, HE'LL PERISH FOOLISHLY

TRYING TO RESCUE THE WOMAN HE LOVES...

YOU.

- WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW THESE THINGS?

(SLAM)

- WHAT WAS THE PASSWORD TO GET IN?

- "DODGERS IS A JERK."

- MY FAME IS KNOWN EVEN HERE.

(WATER GURGLING)

- SOUNDS LIKE MY COLON AFTER A CHILI FIZZ.

OOF!

HEY! SOMEONE HIT THE LIGHTS!

OK...WHEN I TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON, HE'LL BE GONE.

AAAHH!

(SLAPPING AND PUNCHING)

- OHH!

- WELL, UH, LOOKY HERE.

IT'S AN ERRAND BOY SENT BY THE G-GROCERY CLERKS

TO C-COLLECT THE PIG.

- CADET?!

CADET!

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

I MEAN, BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU SEEM

TOTALLY OUT OF YOUR MIND.

- EH, R-REMOVE THIS DUCK FROM MY HEAD,

AND MY SIGHT.

- DODGERS, YOU'RE TOO LATE.

THE CADET HAS SNAPPED. HE THINKS HE RUNS THIS COLONY!

- YOU'RE NOT SOUNDING TOO TIGHTLY WRAPPED YOURSELF, S.J.

NOW HEAR THIS, SPACE CADET!

ROCKET LEAVING FOR PLANET SANITY, BOARDING NOW!

- I'M N-NOT TAKING ANY MORE ORDERS FROM Y-YOU!

- IS THAT ANY WAY TO SPEAK TO YOUR BEST PAL IN THE UNIVERSE?

A UNIVERSE IN TROUBLE, I MIGHT ADD.

- P-P-PAL? HA!

I EVEN TOOK THE FALL FOR YOU,

AND YOU SAID NOTH...NOTH... BUPKIS.

G-GENTLEMEN, SEE THAT SOMETHING UNCOMFORTABLE HAPPENS

TO T-THIS DUCK.

- (GROWLING)

- LOOK, I SCREWED UP, OK?

I WRECKED THE PEACE TREATY... AND OUR FRIENDSHIP.

I'M...I'M SORRY, REALLY.

I JUST HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART...

HEY! I'M TRYING TO HAVE A SINCERE MOMENT HERE!

SO, DO YOU FORGIVE ME?

- N-NEVER.

BUT YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE UNIVERSE BEING IN TROUBLE,

AND I AM A L-LOYAL PROTECTORATE CADET.

- OH, YES!

AND THE DAY CAN ONLY BE SAVED BY THE COMBINED TEAMWORK

OF DUCK DODGERS AND HIS EAGER YOUNG...

- DON'T TOUCH ME.

- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

WHAT'S THIS?

- MITTS OFF, MARTIAN!

THOSE ARE TOP-SECRET DEFENSE CODES

FOR MY EYES ONLY!

- WELL, THAT WOULD CERTAINLY KEEP HOSTILE INVADERS AWAY.

- THOUGHT I DROPPED THOSE OFF AT THE CLEANERS.

THESE ARE THE TOP-SECRET DEFENSE CODES

THAT SHALL NEVER LEAVE MY SIGHT.

- I'LL TAKE THOSE.

Y-YOU'LL JUST LOSE THEM.

- STILL WORKING OUT THOSE TRUST ISSUES, HUH?

TAKE YOUR TIME.

- WE'RE WITHIN RANGE OF THE PALACE.

EVERYONE FOLLOW MY LEAD.

PRISONER DELIVERY.

- INTERLOPERS!

- THAT ALMOST WORKED!

- IT GOT US INSIDE, DIDN'T IT?

- I'LL TRY TO HACK INTO Z-9'S BATTLE PLANS.

- I'LL FIND THE QUEEN. - I'LL GUARD THE CODES.

- PERHAPS I SHOULD JUST STAY HERE AND HOLD DOWN THE FORT.

OF COURSE, I'M WILLING TO DISCUSS TERMS OF SURRENDER.

HEH HEH!

- WHERE ARE WE GOING, GUYS?

YOU NEED A FIFTH PLAYER FOR YOUR BASKETBALL TEAM? NO PROB!

I'M PRETTY GOOD AT THE "FOWL" LINE...GET IT?

DUCK? "FOWL" LINE?

I GUESS MY NUMBER'S UP.

I JUST WISH I'D SPENT MORE TIME DOING WHAT I LOVE...

POPPING BUBBLE WRAP!

- (CHEERING)

- AH! ADMIRAL DODGERS!

RIGHT ON TIME. - FOR WHAT?

- THE SIGNING OF THE PEACE TREATY, OF COURSE.

- OHH, THE SIGNING!

PUNCTUALITY IS MY MIDDLE NAME.

- YOU DON'T SAY.

- ACTUALLY, IT'S "EDGAR DUMAS ALOYSIUS,"

BUT WHY QUIBBLE?

- LET'S PROCEED, ADMIRAL.

- UH, SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR THE QUEEN?

- I'M AFRAID SHE'S...TIED UP

WITH OTHER MATTERS.

NOW, DID YOU BRING THE EARTH'S DEFENSE CODES, AS REQUESTED?

- OOPS! THEY'RE IN MY BRIEFCASE, BACK ON THE SHIP.

I'LL JUST RUN OUT THERE AND GRAB IT.

BE BACK NO LATER THAN NEXT BASTILLE DAY!

- Y-YOU FORGOT YOUR SECRET DEFENSE CODES, SIR.

- AS ALWAYS, CADET, YOUR TIMING IS...

IMPECCABLE.

- I THOUGHT YOUR CADET WAS IN PRISON.

- YEAH, WELL, UM...

THIS IS HIS CLONE!

- AH, THE DEFENSE CODES!

- UH UH UH, Z-MAN!

NO PEEKSIES UNTIL WE GO OVER THE TREATY!

- VERY WELL.

- "IT IS AGREED THAT MARS AND EARTH AGREE

THAT THIS AGREEMENT IS THE ENTIRE AGREEMENT

TO WHICH BOTH PLANETS AGREE,

EXCLUDING PREVIOUS AGREEMENTS WHICH MAY AGREE OR DISAGREE

WITH THIS AGREEMENT."

- I AGREE. AND YOU?

- I DON'T KNOW. I WASN'T LISTENING.

- LET'S MOVE ON.

- AHEM.

AHEM!

- "MARS SHALL OWN ALL RIGHTS TO THIS TREATY,

"IN ALL MEDIA THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE,

FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

"EARTH SHALL RETAIN NO RIGHTS AND SHALL RECEIVE

NO BENEFITS OF ANY KIND, EVER."

- IT'S ALL GOOD.

- EH, YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO A WORD OF THAT.

- SHH. HAGGLING. - IDIOT.

- "AND FINALLY, IN THE EVENT OF WAR,

"THIS AGREEMENT SHALL BECOME NULL AND VOID,

AND EARTH WILL SURRENDER TO MARS AND BECOME ITS SLAVE."

- MWAAH! DEAL.

- THE QUEEN IS STILL IN THE TOWER. KEEP STALLING.

- LET'S SIGN, SHALL WE?

- LET'S.

- STOP! THEY HAVEN'T FREED THE QUEEN YET.

- YEAH, LET'S GIVE IT ONE LAST REVIEW,

MAKE SURE WE DOTTED ALL THE Is AND CROSSED ALL THE Ts.

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD ALSO WATCH OUR Ps AND Qs.

- GRRR!

- YOO-HOO!

OH, CENTURIONS!

(CRASHING)

(STRAINING)

- OH, COMMANDER! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

(KISS)

- (GOOFY LAUGH)

- THERE'S ONE...AND ANOTHER!

BOY, OH BOY, WHO'D HAVE THUNK WATCHING YOUR Ps AND Qs

COULD BE THIS MUCH FUN?

MAYBE WE SHOULD READ IT THROUGH ONE LAST TIME.

VERY WELL, ROBESPIERRE. SIGN, I SHALL.

NOW, HOW DO YOU SPELL "DODGERS"?

- D...

- D...

- HE HAS THE ENTIRE MARTIAN FLEET ON RED ALERT!

HE'S PLANNING TO ATTACK THE EARTH TONIGHT.

- E...R...S!

- FINE, FINE. MARS AND EARTH, FRIENDS AT LAST.

NOW GIVE ME THE CODES!

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - LOOK WHAT YOU JUST SIGNED:

IT SAYS "THE REPRESENTATIVE OF EARTH (THAT'S YOU, DODGERS)

SHALL IMMEDIATELY HAND OVER THE CONTENTS OF THE CASE

TO THE REPRESENTATIVE FROM MARS"...AND THAT'S ME!

ATTENTION, ALL MARTIAN AIR FORCES.

BEGIN LAUNCH NOW!

OPERATION "CRUSH EARTH" IS UNDERWAY!

- I DON'T THINK SO, GENERAL!

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR TREASON.

- UNH! - HEY!

- NOW, IF YOU TRULY CARE FOR YOUR QUEEN,

I SUGGEST YOU STEP BACK.

AFTER ALL, I HAVE A PLANET TO CONQUER.

CIAO.

- I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THEM TRAPDOORS.

- UNHAND ME, YOU BEAST!

- EH, THEY'RE TAKING OUR SHIP!

- AND KIDNAPPING MY QUEEN!

- SENSORS INDICATE EARTH'S SATELLITE SYSTEM

IS ACTIVE, GENERAL.

- NOT FOR LONG.

PREPARE TO ENTER THE SHUTDOWN CODES, COUNSELOR.

WHAT?!

DODGERS!

- EARTH'S SATELLITE DEFENSE IS ON FULL ALERT.

- NICE WORK, CADET! NOW, LET'S HOPE

I CAN GET MY DIRTY LAUNDRY BACK FROM THAT THIEVING SCALAWAG!

- SHALL WE CALL OFF THE ATTACK, GENERAL?

- MAINTAIN COURSE, COUNSELOR DISH.

- BUT NO MARTIAN SHIP WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THE SHIELDS.

WE'LL BE VAPORIZED!

- WE'RE NOT IN A MARTIAN SHIP...

- WE ARE!

PULL UP! PULL UP!

- HE'S GOING TO ATTACK EARTH... IN YOUR SHIP, DODGERS!

- NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!

TAKE US WITHIN EVAPORATOR RANGE!

- TARGET THOSE SATELLITES

AND FIRE REAR LASERS!

THE SHIELD IS GONE. BEGIN THE ATTACK!

- GENERAL! ONE OF OUR SHIPS HAS GONE ROGUE.

IT'S ATTACKING THE OTHERS.

- DODGERS! - NO...

STAR JOHNSON, AT YOUR SERVICE.

- YOU? BUT WHERE'S...?

- MISS ME, SWEETUMS?

I'M FLATTERED.

- BREAKING OFF TO PURSUE STRAGGLERS.

- CARRY ON, CAPTAIN!

AAAHH!

- HELP!

(CHOKING)

WHAT DOES DODGERS DO IN THAT BATHROOM?

OHHH!

NEED MOUTH-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION.

- YES, YOUR HIGHNESS!

- DODGERS, I LOATHE YOU!

- YOU LOVE ME?! YUCK!

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU MARTIANS?

- I SAID "LOATHE." - YOU DID NOT.

- I DID! - DID NOT!

- DID, TOO! - NO WAY!

- YES WAY!

- YOU LIE! - YOU LIE!

- DO NOT! - DO, TOO!

- GENERAL! PROTECTORATE HEADQUARTERS DEAD AHEAD!

- EXCELLENT! READY LASERS!

- HYAAH! NOT GONNA HAPPEN, ROBO-TRAMP.

- UNH! - YAAH!

- I THINK I'LL MAKE A SPECIAL ADDITION TO MY VICTORY BANQUET:

ONE DUCK,

EXTRA CRISPY.

- HEADS UP! - HUH?

AAAHH!

- WHOA!

- WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL!

- GET THE QUEEN TO THE EVAPORATORS!

YOU CAN STILL BEAM YOURSELVES TO SAFETY.

- WHAT WILL YOU DO?

- THIS WHOLE MESS IS MY FAULT.

HERE'S WHERE I PUT THINGS RIGHT.

- Y-YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT!

- THEN THIS TIME, I TAKE THE FALL.

GO, CADET!

- HURRY, YOUR HIGHNESS! - SO, WHAT'S THIS I HEAR?

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME?

- YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW... HEH HEH!

- I'LL RAISE THIS CRATE, OR DIE TRYING!

- NO...WE WILL.

- I GAVE YOU AN ORDER, MISTER.

- CHEERFULLY DISOBEYED, CAPTAIN.

- THANKS, BUDDY. GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.

- HA HA! I...I WOULDN'T BE ANYPLACE ELSE, SIR.

(BOTH STRAINING)

- UNH! - UNH!

(CLANK)

- AND NOW FOR THE GALAXY NEWS ROUNDUP:

THE QUEEN OF MARS HAS REGAINED HER THRONE,

THANKS TO THE EFFORTS OF HER NEWEST MAIN SQUEEZE,

COMMANDER X-2.

(KISS)

- (GOOFY LAUGH)

- EARTH AND MARS HAVE AGREED TO A CEASE-FIRE,

AT LEAST UNTIL SOMETHING ELSE GOES HORRIBLY WRONG...

WHICH SHOULD HAPPEN IN A DAY OR TWO.

- AT HIS TRIAL FOR TREASON TODAY,

MARTIAN GENERAL Z-9 WAS FOUND...

- GUILTY! - GUILTY!

- AND WILL SPEND THE NEXT 200 YEARS BEHIND BARS.

- TIME TO PLAY TOY SOLDIERS! HOO HOO HOO!

- PLEASE BE GENTLE. I'M BREAKABLE.

(CRASHING)

- AS FOR EARTH'S TOP-SECRET DEFENSE CODES...

THEY'RE BACK IN SAFE HANDS.

- AAH!

- AND THEY'LL BE READY AT THE DRY CLEANERS BY 5:00!

- IN OTHER NEWS, THE EAGER, YOUNG SPACE CADET

HAS BEEN CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES

IN THE RECENT EXPLODING PEN FIASCO.

ADMIRAL DUCK DODGERS HAS ACCEPTED ALL RESPONSIBILITY.

- AS PUNISHMENT, DODGERS HAS BEEN DEMOTED BACK TO CAPTAIN,

AND NOW MUST PERFORM 500 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE

ON THE PLANET OF NOSTRILLIA.

- EH, GEE, CAPTAIN,

I'M SORRY THEY STUCK YOU WITH SUCH SEVERE PUNISHMENT.

- EH, THE JOB'S NOT BAD.

- AH...

AH-CHOO!

- IT'S THE TIPS I COULD LIVE WITHOUT.