Original subtitles

- FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE?

DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

ADDING VIRTUAL CHARACTERS.

(RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT)

ON-LINE GAME MATRIX COMPLETE.

(SQUISH)

- IN SORCERY AND MYSTERY

DRESSED UP IN SILK AND CA-ROONIN'

I PLAY THIS GAME FROM DAWN TO NIGHT

BUT I'VE NEVER KISSED A WOMAN

- HA HA! AHOY THERE, PAUNCHY PADRE.

IT IS I, WANDERING ADVENTURER LORD ERRORPRONE THE STUMBLER,

AND I DEMAND TO INSPECTETH WHAT IS IN THY CART.

YIKES! AND AWAY!

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, THIS DOESN'T END WELL.

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

(SPLAT)

EWW.

- HA HA HA!

- YOU ENJOYED THAT, DIDN'T YOU?

- UM...

- WELL, I THINK THIS FULL IMMERSION

FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAME OF YOURS STINKS.

(SNIFFING)

QUITE LITERALLY, ACTUALLY.

- P-P-PLEASE, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

YOU J-J-JUST STARTED PLAYING.

I'M SURE YOU'LL GROW TO B-B-B...LOVE THE GAME.

- THIS STUFF IS FOR DISCONNECTED LOSERS.

- B-B-BUT YOU HAVE TO MEET MY ON-LINE FRIENDS.

WITH ALL THE HOURS I PUT IN AT WORK,

IT'S THE ONLY S-S-SOCIAL INTERACTION I HAVE LEFT.

- THE PROSECUTION RESTS.

- COMRADES, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE

MY B-B-BESTEST PAL...

G-G-GOOD OLD ERRORPRONE T-T-THE STUMBLER.

- GREETINGS, INTERNET ZOMBIES AND OTHER FRIENDLESS SHUT-INS...

WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

- THIS HERE IS ELLOMOLD...

ENCHANTRESS FROM THE F-F-FAIRY REALM.

- SO WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I DITCH

THESE FARMHANDS, TOOTS?

- I WOULD RATHER KISS AN ORC.

- WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU MIGHT BE

IN REAL LIFE.

- KISS ME, MY LORD.

- EWW!

- YOU HAVE INSULTED MY HONOR.

- CAN I BORROW THAT THING A MINUTE?

THANK YOU.

- HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH.

- HA HA HA!

- HEE HEE HEE!

- THIS IS POINTLESS.

- THIS, MY LORD, IS MASTER SCAMWISE

OF THE WEE PEOPLE.

- I AM A MASTER THIEF.

- YOU ARE A MASTER DORK.

- AND THAT'S RAGNAR THE BARBARIAN.

- NEWBIE.

- WELL, I HATE TO BREAK UP THIS FELLOWSHIP

OF THE DINKS, BUT I QUIT.

MAYBE I CAN FIND MYSELF A NICE GAME OF YAHTZEE.

- HEE HEE HEE!

- (SHOUTING)

- HEE HEE HEE!

HEE HEE HEE!

- OHH...

W-W-WHERE'S LORD ERRORPRONE?

- I DON'T KNOW. - BEATS ME.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

ARE YOU HERE, LORD ERRORPRONE?

- PRESENT.

- COME CLOSER, DEARIES.

LEZAH THE WICKED HAS A QUEST FOR YOU.

- THIS LEZAH ANOTHER FRIEND OF YOURS?

- N-NOPE. I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S THE BAD GUY.

- AH.

- I COMMAND YOU DO-GOODERS

TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS LOCKED IN THE CITADEL OF INSANITY.

- IS THIS PRINCESS BEAUTIFUL?

- MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL.

- AND WILL WE HAVE TO SEARCH THROUGH TREACHEROUS LANDS

TO FIND THIS CITADEL?

- BEYOND TREACHEROUS.

- TYPICAL. ALL RIGHT, GRANDMA,

IF IT MEANS I GET TO GO HOME SOONER,

I'LL FIND YOUR STUPID PRINCESS.

- PERFECT.

GOOD-BYE, DEARIES.

HEE HEE HEE!

- W-W-WHERE SHOULD WE BEGIN OUR QUEST, LORD ERRORPRONE?

- HOW ABOUT OVER YONDER?

THAT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO START.

IT'S THE SWAMP OF IMMEDIATE PSYCHOSIS,

SO STICK CLOSE,

LEST ONE OF US RUN INTO...

ANY UNFORESEEN DANGER.

WHO PUT A TREE RIGHT HERE IN THE SWAMP?

- OH, QUITE SORRY, OLD BEAN.

- HEY, WHO'S TALKING?

- I DO HOPE YOU'RE NOT INJURED.

- A TALKING TREE?

- OH, YES. I AM THE OLD MAN OF THE FOREST.

- LOOK, BOX ELDER, A MODERN AUDIENCE

JUST WON'T ACCEPT TALKING PLANTS.

- OH. WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

I HAVE OVERSTAYED MY WELCOME.

HOW EMBARRASSING.

- HEY, WOODY, YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

- OH, YES. IT'S OFF TO THE PAPER MILL FOR ME.

WOULDN'T WANT A MODERN AUDIENCE TO HAVE TO DEAL

WITH SOMETHING AS OUT-OF-DATE AS A TALKING TREE.

- LOVED YOUR WORK IN "THE WIZARD OF OZ."

- AH, YES. THE BIT WITH THE APPLES.

THANK YOU!

- (SOBBING)

I LOVE THAT TREE DUDE.

- IN ORDER TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS,

WE MUST CROSS THROUGH THE TOMB OF INORDINATE LUNACY,

BUT THOSE DOORS LOOK MIGHTY INDEED.

EVEN RAGNAR'S GREAT STRENGTH

WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH TO OPEN THEM.

- HMM!

- WE MUST HATCH A PLAN. -OOH!

- YOU SEEM TO HAVE S-S-STUMBLED ONTO A SOLUTION.

- PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS, I ALWAYS SAY.

- THE TOMB IS LADEN WITH BOOBY TRAPS

AND MANY HIDDEN DANGERS.

- WE SHALL FOLLOW IN THY DAINTY FOOTSTEPS.

- CHIVALRY IS DEAD.

- SEE? T-T-THIS GAME ISN'T SO BAD.

- SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

YOU DON'T HAVE A SCAREDY-SCAM HIDING IN YOUR COSTUME.

- THIS IS ONLY A GAME. THIS IS ONLY A GAME.

- I FOUND A WAY OUT.

- GREAT. - WONDERFUL.

- THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

- DO YOU MIND? - SORRY.

- HURRY, LORD ERRORPRONE.

OOPS.

- ZOUNDS!

- HURRY! HURRY!

- I'M HURRYING!

- YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT!

YEAH, BABY!

WHOOPS.

- FIGURES.

(GROWLING)

SHADES OF RAY HARRYHAUSEN.

(ROARING)

- Y-Y-YOU CAN TAKE 'EM. Y-Y-YOU CAN DO IT!

HA HA HA, M-M-MAYBE I SHOULD JUST

WORK ON GETTING THIS GATE OPEN.

- YAH! YAH! YAH!

- OH, HOW'S HE DOING?

- T-T-THIS IS A HARMLESS VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT, R-R-RIGHT?

- HA, HA.

HEY, HEY. HEE, HEE.

PARRY. THRUST!

HO, HO. YA, HA. TAKE THAT!

(ROAR)

HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

HYAH!

THESE GUYS ARE DUMBER THAN THE MARTIAN ROBOTS.

(ROAR)

TAKE THIS!

DIRECT HIT!

(GROWLING)

THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR.

CAN WE DISCUSS THIS LIKE RATIONAL BEINGS?

- PSST, L-L-LORD ERRORPRONE.

- WHAT?

- R-R-REACH DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOURSELF.

- I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T DOING THE CORNY COACH THING ANYMORE.

- NO, REALLY. REACH DOWN INSIDE YOURSELF.

- SCAMWISE! - HELLO.

- GET READY FOR THE BRUNSWICK SPECIAL.

(ROARING)

STRIKE!

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, EARL ANTHONY.

- HURRY, MY MAGIC WON'T HOLD THESE GATES OPEN FOR LONG.

(ROARING)

- I'D LOVE TO STAY AND PLAY,

BUT I HAVE A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT.

AAH!

(ROARING)

CLOSE THE GATE! CLOSE THE GATE!

- THERE.

- AND I THINK THIS BELONGS TO ME.

THERE SHE IS, ADVENTURERS...

THE CITADEL OF INSANITY.

BUT HOW SHALL WE SCALE ITS LOFTY WALLS?

- OH, RAGNAR KNOWS.

- EXPOUND ON THY THEORY, GENTLE GIANT.

- HUH HUH. RAGNAR SHOOT DUCK LIKE ARROW.

HA! TOTALLY.

- OK. BEGIN WITH THE CLIMBING.

HOLD UP.

I THINK THIS MIGHT BE IT.

(DOOR OPENS)

FEAR NOT.

LORD ERRORPRONE IS HERE TO RESCUE...

UHH! AAH!

- WHILE I WAS TRAPPED IN THIS PRISON,

ONLY MY SPIRIT COULD WANDER THE LANDS,

BUT NOW, YOU'VE SET ME FREE.

UH, YOU DO FIND ME BEAUTIFUL, DON'T YOU?

- EH, MAYBE AFTER A SIZZLING DWARVEN SELTZER.

- KISS ME, MY LORD.

- HOW'S ABOUT A LITTLE HELP HERE?

- I THINK YOU MAKE A LOVELY COUPLE.

- GIVE ME THAT.

BIPPITY, BOPPITY,

YUCK.

I'M SOME COOK.

AND NOW FOR THAT KISS YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.

MMM.

- GALACTIC SERVER SHUT DOWN.

- NO. NO! NOT NOW!

-OHH! I WANT TO KEEP PLAYING! - S-S-SORRY, CAPTAIN.

- OH, AND JUST WHEN I WAS GONNA KISS THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

- W-W-WELL, LIKE YOU SAID,

YOU CAN NEVER TELL WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE LIKE

I-I-IN REAL LIFE.

- YEAH. SHE WAS PROBABLY A 350-POUND OAF

LIVING IN HIS MOTHER'S STORM CELLAR.

- OH, POO.

AND JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO KISS

THE HANDSOME LORD ERRORPRONE.

I WONDER IF I CAN FIND MYSELF A NICE GAME OF YAHTZEE.

- FERTILIZATION PROCESS COMPLETE.

FIELDS READY FOR PLANTING.

BEGIN SEEDING PROCESS.

(CRASH)

- HOWDY, CADET.

- UH, HOWDY, C-C-CAPTAIN DODGERS.

- LET'S COMMENCE TO PLANTIN'.

I BROUGHT MY FAVORITE TRACTOR...OLD RUST.

- UH, BUT, SIR, WE DON'T USE OUTMODED EQUIPMENT LIKE THAT.

T-T-THIS IS A STATE-OF-THE-ART 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY FARM,

AND THE CROPS WE GROW HERE WILL P-P-PROVIDE

VALUABLE FRESH PRODUCE FOR THE RESIDENTS

OF THE P-P-PROTECTORATE RESEARCH STATION.

- LOOK, LITTLE PIGGY, I KNOW EVERYTHING

I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AGRICULTURE.

FARMING'S IN MY BLOOD.

AFTER ALL, I WAS RAISED ON A FARM.

- Y-Y-YOU WERE?

- UH, EITHER THAT, OR MAYBE I WATCHED

AN OLD EPISODE OF "GREEN ACRES."

- I D-D-DON'T KNOW, CAPTAIN. IF WE DON'T SUCCEED,

THE PEOPLE ON THAT RESEARCH STATION

WILL HAVE TO LIVE ON P-P-PROCESSED FOOD PELLETS.

- WHY, I'VE GOT MANURE FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS.

I'M A REGULAR LUTHER BURBANK.

- D-D-DON'T WORRY, KIDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS, EITHER.

- PUSH FASTER, HOGWART!

WE GOT SOIL TO TILL.

I'M NOT REALLY OUT OF GAS, BUT I FIGURED

HE CAN STAND TO LOSE ABOUT 15 POUNDS.

GROW. GROW, MY TINY BEAN SPROUT.

CLIMB TO THE SKY.

HEY!

SOMETIMES THESE BEANS ARE SO LITERAL.

- OW!

- TEE HEE.

HERE, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK.

HERE, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK.

AAH! WHOA! OW! OW! WHOA! OW! OW! OW!

- W-W-WELL, I HAVE TO ADMIT,

YOU'VE R-R-REALLY TRANSFORMED THE SPACE FARM.

- WHY, THANK YOU, CADET. I'M RIGHT PROUD OF IT.

- I GUESS YOU REALLY DO HAVE M-M-MANURE

FLOWING THROUGH YOUR VEINS.

- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, VIBRANT, HEALTHY...

-AAH! -A WEED!

NO WEED IS GONNA RUIN THIS DUCK'S BEAUTIFUL

AGRARIAN PARADISE.

LUCKY I BORROWED THIS LITTLE CONTRAPTION

FROM THE MARTIANS.

YOW!

- AH, SUSTENANCE! - WE'RE SAVED.

AND I THOUGHT WE'D SURELY PERISH

IN THAT DREADFUL BOX.

- YES. CHALK IT UP TO GOOD, CLEAN LIVING, OLD CHUM.

AFTER YOU.

- OH, NO. NO. AFTER YOU.

- ARE YOU CERTAIN?

- OH, YES.

- OH, YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO ME.

- BUT DO HEED MY WARNING. I'LL BE HOT ON YOUR TAIL.

(GIGGLING)

- OK. LET'S GIVE THIS BABY A TRY.

THAT WEED WILL WISH IT NEVER SPROUTED.

(GRUNTING)

HMM, ONE OF THESE BUTTONS HAS GOT TO START THIS THING.

(ENGINE STARTS)

THERE WE GO!

OH! OH! OH! E-I-E-I-OH!

(GASP)

(PANTING)

- OH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

A L-L-LITTLE OLD WEED.

- CALL THE INTERNATIONAL PLANET OF PANCAKES

AND TELL THEM THEIR BUTTER IS READY.

CADET, WE'RE IN A REAL PICKLE.

WE GOT TO GET RID OF A NASTY WEED.

- Y-Y-YOU MEAN THIS NASTY WEED?

- WAHOO! YOU DID IT!

THE CROPS ARE SAVED!

JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL PRODUCE.

YES, SIR. OUR REGULAR NATURE'S BOUNTY.

- JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL PRODUCE.

- A REGULAR NATURE'S BOUNTY.

THERE'S JUST SO MUCH, I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

- WELL, THEN, WE SHALL JUST HAVE TO EAT EVERYTHING.

- AMOR DANZA!

- NO. NOT MY CHILDREN.

THERE.

- OH, DEAR. LOOK AT THIS ONE.

- UGH! IT HAS A HIDEOUS GROWTH.

- HOW DISGUSTING. DEFINITELY NOT A KEEPER.

- MARTIAN GOPHERS...

THE GREATEST SCOURGE IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM.

- GUILTY AS CHARGED.

(GIGGLING)

- (SNICKERING)

- W-W-WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE? SOME SORT OF G-G-GOPHER POISON?

- NOPE. EVEN BETTER.

GUM.

- T-T-THIS SHALL BE ENLIGHTENING.

- I'VE PLANTED GUM IN EVERY ONE OF THESE GOPHER HOLES.

THEY CAN'T RESIST THE STUFF,

BUT THEIR SYSTEMS CAN'T HANDLE IT.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

GUMS UP THE WORKS, YOU KNOW?

- EH, B-B-BEST OF LUCK.

WHERE DOES HE GET T-T-THESE S-S-STUPID IDEAS?

- HEY. HELOISE HASN'T FAILED ME YET,

AND I GOT THAT STAIN OUT OF YOUR PANTS, DIDN'T I?

THEY'RE PROBABLY IN PRETTY BAD SHAPE BY NOW.

- OH, DEAR. LOOK AT ALL THE SWELLING.

- OH, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN ANYTHING

GET SO BIG SO FAST.

OH, CAREFUL. IT'S GOING TO POP.

- HUH?

I'M GONNA NEED A BAG OF ICE CUBES

AND SOME PAPER TOWELS SOAKED IN LEMON JUICE.

(SPUTTERING)

- AH, BEHOLD. THE LAST MORSEL OF DELECTABLE VEGETATION.

- OH, IT'S SIMPLY GORGEOUS.

- WOULD YOU CARE TO FINISH IT OFF, OLD BOY?

- MAY I? - IT WOULD BE MY...PLEASURE!

- OH, I GOT IT. I GOT IT! HA HA HA!

- HA HA HA HA!

- ALL RIGHT!

I HATES YOU MEECES TO PIECES!

(GUN CHARGES)

- OH, DEAR!

- COME BACK HERE, YOU WASCALLY WODENTS!

KLONDIKE CAT ALWAYS GETS HIS MOUSE!

- HE HAS TO RUN OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CATCH PHRASES

SOONER OR LATER.

- HE IS. THAT LAST ONE WAS A BIT OF A STRETCH,

IF YOU ASK ME.

- A-A-APPROACHING GALACTIC PROTECTORATE RESEARCH STATION.

B-B-BEGINNING DOCKING PROCEDURES.

- COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

- DO YOU KNOW, I DO BELIEVE THAT SURFACE-DWELLER

IS INTENT ON DESTROYING US.

(BEEPING)

- OR DESTROYING HIS SHIP.

- EXPLOSIONS?

T-T-THE ENGINES ARE OFFLINE.

- PROTECTORATE SPACE CRAFT.

THIS IS CAPTAIN ADRIAN PETERS OF THE RESEARCH STATION.

PLEASE STOP YOUR SHIP.

WE HAVEN'T OPENED OUR DOORS YET.

- UM, Y-Y-YOU MIGHT WANT TO CLEAR YOUR DOCKING BAY.

- I THINK WE LOST HIM.

- HERE'S DUCKIE!

- (SHOUTING)

- WHOA! AAH! OH!

(PANTING)

AHH.

EEK!

- LIEUTENANT, WHOSE STARSHIP IS STICKING OUT

OF MY RESEARCH STATION?

- DUCK DODGERS', SIR.

- DODGERS. - DON'T WORRY, CADET.

I'LL HANDLE THESE PROTECTORATE SLOBS.

- D-D-DID YOU EVER FIND THE GOPHERS?

- WHAT GOPHERS? NEVER MIND.

- AH, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

I TRUST YOU BROUGHT MY FRESH PRODUCE?

- WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, BUT...

NO.

BUT YOU STILL HAVE PLENTY

OF THOSE DELICIOUS FOOD PELLETS.

- OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT ALL THESE SCRUMPTIOUS

PROCESSED MORSELS?

- ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!

- WHY, IT WILL TAKE HOURS TO EAT ALL THESE.

(GIGGLING)